06/05/2013 The One Show

One Show with Alex Jones. And Matt Baker. Hang on a minute. We are on

air half an hour early. Lovely Dave. Brewer Dave. No swearing. We are on

a bank holiday and I am glad you can join us. Let's find out how our

guest would have dealt with noisy grammars. Is Caroline Quentin.

Hello, everybody. Lovely to see you. Have you heard about this drumming?

Yes, I heard it on the news when I woke up this morning. This is the

moment a furious Helen Mirren silenced streets drummers after the

first act of her play. She is there with the wig and the cardigan as the

Queen and giving the conductor some hassle. She did not use polite

language. In fairness to Dame Helen Mirren, when you come offstage you

tend to be full of adrenaline and she was probably getting angrier on

behalf of the audience throughout the entire show and I understand it.

I have had that feeling on stage myself when there is constant noise

going on. I remember once in the west end at the end of the show the

ghosts have to walk forward and you have to sing without any music. You

take your note from one tiny note played. I wanted you to carry on. I

thought you would never ask, but behind the theatre is a fire

station. Suddenly the fire engine went. All the ghosts went forward

screaming, do you hear the people saying? Your voice is brilliant.

Another time my dog ran onstage during the show. I had him in the

dressing room and he ran on. I freaked out completely. I was

hopeless. I yanked him off. These things happen. We are sure Helen

Mirren is not the only one to lose her rag this bank holiday weekend,

so if you were passed breaking point, we would like to hear about

it. If you would like to apologise, why don't we do it on behalf of you.

If you have got a photo, all the better. We may have our own apology

to make. Today at Kempton Park Mascot Grand National took place.

There is our entry, Onsie, the squirrel. He may have been a bit too

competitive. He threw his not away. We will find out how he gets on a

little bit later on. This weekend, many lifeguards were back on duty

for the first time this year. speedboat accident in Cornwall is a

reminder about what can go on in the water and it is a good time to

salute the men and women who keep us safe at the seaside. They have got

plenty of stories to tell. It is not like Baywatch. Some days it is a

roaring gale coming in, there is nobody on the beach, but we have

still got to be here just in case. Growing up in Cornwall there is not

much to do apart from having fun in the beach or the sea. I am pretty

much a beach bum and lived on the beach. All your friends are working

9-to-5 and they are itching to get on the beach and you are living the

dream. We have got to concentrate and be on the ball from the minute

we start work at ten o'clock until the minute we finish at six. Being a

bank holiday weekend we are going to be busy. This is when the lifeguards

get onto the beach and the season has started. We are always

monitoring the sea. We can keep an eye on the bigger picture. I tend to

use a paddle boards to rescue people. The adrenaline kicks in and

all the training takes over. We do have too literally run straight in

wearing Speedo's, but that is not that often. There are a couple out

there, please keep an eye on them. I am a schoolteacher, I have never had

to rescue one of the schoolkids. So, come out and rescue me. I do not

know how that would go down. A lot of people who get rescued are

embarrassed. Some of the guys are shouting and screaming and you get

to them and they say, thanks. They get to the side and their families

are embarrassed, I cannot believe you did that. They are crying

almost. You need to come into the sure and go between the red and the

yellow flags. You get people doing stupid things which is annoying

because if they listened to you in the first place, they would not be

in that situation. My biggest fear is potentially dealing with children

and babies. Having never dealt with a young child, perhaps that is why

for me it is something I am particularly worried about.

fiance hates me being on the beach all day because I cannot switch off

completely when we sit in the sand. She says I started looking at the

water and scanning it and saying is everybody OK. And a chief lifeguard,

Philip Goodeve-Docker, it is here with us today. A fantastic name. The

speedboat interdict yesterday was on your patch. It was, I covered the

south-west. It was a tragic incident. All of our thoughts are

with the family for their terrible loss at this time. And what a great

job the emergency services did, but tragic nonetheless. Putting that

instance to the side, how many of your lifeguards have been into the

water this weekend? We have had 34 beaches covered, so it is a gradual

start. We will have 234 by the end of the season. We have had three

good rescues, two at constant time. You know it well, Caroline. I love

it, it is a fabulous beach. surfers were rescued on Saturday and

another yesterday. And a young child on an inflatable at Weymouth.

of your work is about prevention. is, mostly, trying to stop people

from getting into difficulty and into the wrong place. That is the

bulk of our work, but when things go wrong, we are there to pull them

out. This is how people know when it is safe to go into the water.

most important either red flag and the yellow flag. If you see those,

stay in between the red and the yellow flags. The red flag indicates

danger. The black and white flag is for surf craft area. The orange one

indicates the wind strength. That would have been flying at Weymouth

yesterday. Is it right your husband was a lifeguard. No, I would love it

to be, but he was a lifesaver at a swimming pool in Leicester. He did

save someone's life. He saved a little boy's life, but he spent most

of his time going like this. Preventative measures. But he was

never wearing Speedo is on a sandy beach. It was a shame. Now, for

those who think we are already living in a Big Brother society, it

is time for you to look away now. Anita Rani has been test driving a

new camera that records all your moves on the road. It has already

caught some shocking footage. Nowadays there are cameras watching

as pretty much everywhere and it is no different on our roads, but our

driving could soon be under closer scrutiny thanks to this advice. It

is basically a camera that records everything that is happening out

there constantly on loop. It is very clever and it knows the speed I am

going out and the location I am in and even my GeForce. If I were to

witness an accident, the information recorded on that could prove vital.

One costs around �100. This man has had one in his car for the past

three years. Some people might think it is strange you decided to have a

camera on your car to follow and snoop on other people's driving.

This is not to do that, it is the fact I can protect my own licence.

Should anything ever happen, at least I can present my side and say

it was not me. Just a few months after fitting his camera, he spotted

a motorist driving dangerously. As he followed, the driver began to

speed up. What happened next is distressing. Within moments the

camera captured a shocking hit and run. There was a 75-year-old man...

She'd just knocked him over, a completely insane manoeuvre. You

would never do that if you were a rational, sensible person.

After making sure the man was getting help, he caught up with the

driver. You do not realise, you have just run over a person. Shocking

behaviour. It is absolutely terrible. Luckily the pedestrian

suffered only minor injuries. The footage was given to the place and

the driver was convicted of dangerous driving and given a 12

month suspended prison sentence. So this camera was vital in all of

this. Absolutely, if the evidence had not been on camera, she would

have got away with that. These cameras are widely used in Russia

where they even captured footage of the meatier that hurtled to Earth in

February. Drivers have posted hours closer to home in fake accidents.

These so-called cash for a crash collisions are caused by criminals

looking to make money from an insurance claim. They cost the

insurance industry nearly �400 million last year. They can help

identify what are the genuine claims and that can mean savings for the

customer and a smoother claims process and it is a for everybody.

This road haulage firm in Somerset had cameras fitted in all of its 65

trucks. The main reason we have done it is to protect ourselves from

spurious claims. Drivers are a little bit apprehensive, and some of

them saw it as a spy in the cab and maybe we could listen in to what

they were saying. But now they realise they are there to protect

them and they can be a beneficial tool. And it has also helped the

insurance premium. Our policy has been reduced by 10%. That is over

�10,000 in savings straightaway this year. So would this appealed to the

rest of us? It is definitely investigating if it is going to work

for you. If you could save 10% or 15% on your premium, it could pay

off in years to come. With these cameras becoming more common on the

roads of Britain, drivers beware, because you never know who might be

watching. That was terrifying! That Big

Brother argument is interesting, but when you see what a difference it

can make, it makes you think. does. There are, one feels, too many

cameras watching us all the time. You can't even be Dame Helen mirror

and without someone filming you all the time. But when you look at that,

and you see someone being knocked over like that and then the girl

completely denying it, it does make you think it is not a bad idea.

Caroline is one of the growing band of famous faces who go off around

the country to infuse about famous -- about popular places.

however, send our hairdresser, Michael Douglas around. People will

tell a man with a pair of scissors anything he asks!

I am in the beautiful city of Edinburgh for my latest assignment.

This has to be one of the hottest tickets I've had today. I'm at

Edinburgh's other festival, a pageant of colour, drums, dance and

flames, welcoming the start of summer. This is Angus and he founded

the Fire Festival. 26 years ago to the day. I've grown up here in

Scotland, and found out that the big hill behind us, Arthur's seat, from

medieval times had been the home of this amazing Fire Festival called

Beltane. It means sacred fire, from gay lick, and the coming of summer

was thought to be the most important day. When we started it, it hadn't

happened so 96 years. We started something that was more than 1000

-year-old tradition. What is the black mark? It is a smudge from wood

that was burnt in the fire last year. Take a look.That taken at

least six months off me! I've noticed a few of them have bald

patches. Have you noticed that? Why'd you think that is? This is

Richard, one of the photographers who will capture the spectacle

tonight. When did you last go to the salon for a haircut? I think it was

about 1986. So, what ever I feel is appropriate? Yes. I will be painted

up so I don't feel like an official photographer. At the festival, we

have a group called the remnants of winter. They confronted the May

Queen, but they can't stop her coming through. You look completely

different. I can't quite believe it! Take a look. Yeah, nice and short

here. You get the extremes of people who are really into this, and then

people who are here in a kind voyeristic mode. Where have you come

from? Florence, Italy. Just for this? Just for this.Can you talk me

through your outfits? It's supposed to be a crescent moon. It's got gel

on it! Is it not flammable?No, the gel is water-based. What do I know

about gel? So, you met here. Are you still in love? We are engaged!So,

this is the lovely Robin. In the spirit of this evening, we are going

to give you a sort of pagan triangle hairdo. I have just come to this

place. I would recommend anyone to come again. It is very friendly.

Probably more naked people by the end of the night! Naked people?I'm

told that's what people actually come here for, the naked people.

have done a little fish tail plat through here, with a bit of height

on top. Take a look! I love it! Thank you very much. It's a

pleasure. That's it. Only one thing left to do. Toast!

If you are going to take your clothes off in Edinburgh, you might

as well do it by a bonfire. Especially with the spring we've

just had! You didn't do that, Caroline, for your new documentary?

Strip off? I did a couple of things that I wasn't entirely keen on. I

went up a tree with a tree surgeon. I'm not mad keen on heights. I bet

you love all that, don't you? don't mind heights. I tried to be

brave, but I was really shaky and my mile -- my mouth was really dry. I

did a sort of gazelle leap. You jump through the trees. I did all right.

You had a bit of a go of the toss of the caber as well, didn't you?

Please do let go of it! I don't like it! I really don't like it! I could

kill people! I could kill you! Please don't do it. Its at salute

the terrifying. I'm going to try and lift this. -- it is absolutely

terrifying. If I had a sports bra on, I would have that up by now! I

didn't like it! You can tell. It was really terrifying. You can't get any

sense of what that is really like, but it seems to go on forever. Of

course, the balance is so... It has no balance and it is massively

heavy. You can't lift it. I don't know how heavy they are, but it's

ludicrously heavy. Steve and there is world champion caber toss, and

they make it look easy. But it's virtually impossible. This is part

of your new series where you look at National Parks throughout the

country. You've got three. You've got Loch Lomond, Snowdonia and the

new Forest. How do the Parks compare? What were the main

differences? It's extraordinary. For me, it's not just the location, but

the countryside, the people, the food, the music... We are so

diverse. These islands are so diverse, and it's thrilling. I was

literally a week somewhere, Scotland, and then the next week I

was in the new Forest. The next minute I'm on you to fall hills and

then I am in dry heathland. And how can it be so different? How can

everything sound so different. The accents are different, and the food.

It's really exciting. How can you compare documentaries with all the

drama? As long as I'm showing off, I just don't care! I like all of it.

It's nice to have... I'm doing a play next. Isn't Rory Bremner in it?

Yes, and Patricia Hodge. As long as I can do a bit of everything.

can see Caroline in her National Parks. It begins tomorrow night on

ITV. As we have seen many times, our wildlife man, Mike Dilger, can sit

for hours on end is to see spectacular displays of nature.

There are some sites that even Mike's ironclad can't wait for, so

he found a way of speeding things up a bit.

The brilliant yellow of the lesser celandines heralds the arrival of

spring. You can find them in Woodlands, graveyards or on sunny

banks. These tiny wildflowers close up at night to protect their pollen

and nectar. As the temperature rises in the morning, the petals slowly

unfurl, and a flower opens. This is a process you wouldn't normally CMS

you were staring at the flowers for hours on end. Tim Shepherd is an

award-winning wildlife cameraman. For the last 25 years, he has been

specialising in the complicated craft of timelapse. You will have to

explain to the uninitiated. It is speeding up time by running the

camera more slowly than you normally would, and then playing it back the

same speed as you normally would. You can make a day into a second, an

hour into a second. Tim's work is to see the beauty of nature are

unfolding, and capture sites that would normally be too slow to be

seen. Give him a carpet of celandines opening in all their

glory, and he's really in his element. Celandines are woodland

edge species. They are common, but in places like these, where there is

a bit less disturbance, some trees and some shade, they do really well.

Tim's tripod runs along on skateboard wheels. For this shot,

the rig will move just two centimetres between photos, taking a

picture every ten seconds, so there shouldn't be any jolts or jumps in

the action when it is played back. It will take a while to get from one

end of the ladder to the other. camera should track along the

flowers, with them opening as it comes to a halt. For a perfect

timelapse, we would have a windless day and a cloudless sky. We've got

neither, so fingers crossed. On a day like today, the sun is going in

and out all the time, which affects the exposure and gives a flickering

effect on the final shot. It makes the shot looks spectacular. We won't

know for certain until the shot finishes. The celandines are merging

much later this year because it's been such a cold spring, and they

are still out far earlier than most of our woodland flowers. This means

they supply a vital nectar source for all manner of emerging insects.

This honey bee and a small tortoiseshell butterfly are the

first I've seen this year. After two hours, the lesser celandines are

finally fully open. Time to check the camera. I sequenced it all on

the computer, so here we go. There is a bit of wind movement, and as

Tim predicted, the sun coming in and out has caused some flickering.

happens is, the sun comes out, and you get a bit of a pain. There! They

only opened once, and that's it. It is your only chance a day to get a

little sequence. You need to do it several times. And when he does, he

favourite flowers, and today, I know kind and took a picture of her lying

in her celandines over the weekend. My husband took that. It's a

gorgeous picture. There are six dogs around my feet. You can't see them.

I said feet because it is a family show! Miranda, you've been looking

at some more timelapse is for us. Time lapses have revealed some

amazing things in the animal world, and this is an amazing one. This is

filmed in Malaysia. Somebody's cat had filmed in a dead gecko -- had

brought in a dead gecko. They had a bit of problem with ants, and the

ants are coming in and literally stripping the gecko. That's like a

Tim Burton film! They are taking away the bones, even. It shows what

effective scavengers they are. you know how quick that was?

Interesting that the head went one way and the body the other.

other one you've got... This is one of my all-time favourites. This was

filmed in the Sahara, one of the David Attenborough films. They've

condensed a years worth of movement into just 14 seconds. You can see by

the background that it really is the sound that's moving. I remember

learning about this in geography at school, and sand movement not making

any sense. But this footage really make sense of it. We don't do much

tweeting on the show. I don't tweet. On Radio 4 we are basically

showcasing British birdsong and every day before the news you can

hear a different type of British birdsong. You get a little

description and a caricature of the bird, followed by its song.

Caroline, we understand you were a bird watcher. I was a member of the

young ornithologists club. I tend to do it more from the kitchen now when

I am cooking, but I still love them. It is a lovely thing to do for

children. If you have children at home who need to be told Martha's is

a good part of the world because you need to get them around the

television now. Marty Jopson demonstrates how equations and a

slide rule devastated Hitler's greatest weapon. In 1944, and Nazi

inventors launched the feed two. It was the stuff of science fiction, a

supersonic rocket of mass destruction that hurtled through the

air at four times the speed of sound. The unstoppable missiles

carried one-time warheads and could be fired from mobile launchpad is

way behind enemy lines. Five minutes later they brought death and

destruction on London. Unlike the doodlebug which could be shot out of

the sky, this flew 50 miles up in the air, above the atmosphere, where

conventional weapons could not touch it. But it did have a weakness and

that was to do with mathematics. During the war Eileen served in

fighter command 's filtered room where aircraft and missiles were

tracked by radar. That is me.How long ago was this? This is 70 years

ago? That is right.Tell me when you thought something strange was coming

in. We had been warned there was going to be another vengeance

weapon, codeword Big Ben and the first officer to hear this must get

on a chair and yell it out three times. And guess what? It was me and

it was that terrible time when the very first V2 landed on Chiswick and

it killed a top people and generated a fear. Hitler had developed

something terrifying. After D-Day the Germans trained them on Antwerp,

killing more than 800 people. The only way of stopping them was by

destroying their mobile launchpad. Using little more than a slide rule,

Eileen had to track them down. Because a rocket was a projectile,

it went on a predictable path. We knew a rocket would go in the form

of a parabola. It accelerates up and then gravity takes over and pulled

it back down. Once the rocket was launched, it stayed to that certain

path. It is a mathematically defined curve and it is symmetrical as well

and allows you to do the maths. that we could work out the launch

site. Eileen, let's see a parabola in action. We have got a model

rocket. Three, two, one. Fantastic. Gosh, that is high. In fact, so high

that most of the parabola was hidden in the clouds, so you will have to

take my word for it. This is our rocket. It has landed in the ground.

How did you work out where you were taking off from? We needed another

piece of information which we got from the radar stations and it would

be someone on the parabola and with those two bits of information we

could extrapolate that curve right the way back. You have got a point

up here and you have got a point to stand there and you join them

together with a curve. Processing the rocket's height and speed on a

parabolic trajectory, Eileen made some complicated calculations.

went straight up to start with before it entered into the curb. All

this was taken into consideration. We would calculate the position

right over there of the launch site. Eileen had just six minutes to

make her calculations. Any longer and the mobile launchers would

escape before they could be bombed. It was a ferocious calculation you

had to do and they could be bombed. It was a ferocious calculation you

had to do at this blight -- slide rule. You must have felt the

responsibility. It was a terrific killing people and finally by the

end of March we despite killing thousands of people the missile

failed to change the course of the war. Mathematics helped beat the

world's most sophisticated weapon. We hope you are having a lovely bank

holiday, Eileen. You did not have a successful mammoth job. Marcus has

always been a big weakness and I stopped learning it at 13. I once

worked for a security firm and I got a job as a temp and they said they

were going to put me in a room with an adding machine and it had a roll

of paper and I was up to their in paper and I had not done any maths.

They said, you are delightful, but you must go now. Earlier on we

showed you the line-up for the biggest sporting event at the

weekend, the Mascot Grand National from Kempton Park. Our mascot,

Onesie, was involved for the first time. He was a late entry. We have

no idea who one. We have had a sweepstake in the office and I got

Lily the panda. I unbelievably got Onesie. Someone has drawn this for

me. I have got the swift. Let's see how we all got on and how Onesie

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 46 seconds

second this year. He was fourth. Come on in, Onesie. Shake hands with

the builder. Have you ever seen such a determined squirrel? Sit yourself

down quickly and reveal yourself. Who could it be? Well done. It was

so hot, but I loved it. competitive were you, going down on

the outside. A few of them were wearing trainers and I started right

at the back. It was brilliant, I loved it. Very quickly, your bank

holiday apologies. Tom says, sorry for soaking you with water, dad.

Louise would like to apologise to her boyfriend Lee for the rant she

had because of him not putting the pees in the steamer. She says she

loves you very much. Hardly the dog would like to apologise for doing