06/08/2013 The One Show

with Alex Jones and Matt Baker. years ago, our guests created a

monster. A man so inept, bigoted and egocentric that he could only be a

television presenter. It is time to dig out your best sports casuals and

tune your dial to North Norfolk Digital. Alan Partridge is back.

am one of the more senior district is at this station. I should snap my

heels together. Silence! Please welcome the person behind the

Partridge, Steve Coogan. Steve... Can I say how wonderful it is to

have you on the show. This would be Alan Partridge's dream job,

something for everybody, light-hearted chat, answering the

big questions. Absolutely, very deep, profound topics, deep waters

likely skipped over. You must want to kill that they get every night!

There was a time when Allen might have worn a lilac sweater, it

probably would have more of a pattern on it, a golf ball. Can you

imagine presenting it with Alan? think he would have to present it

with Alex! They wouldn't be that dissimilar! If you looked in the

mirror, you would not see Alan Partridge but unfortunately I do

every morning. As well as talking about your new film, the Ashes might

be in the bag but Tuffers has a far more important contest to deal with.

We have whittled 700 entries for One Show art competition down to just

four finalists. We are keeping them secret but they will be unmasked

later. A survey out today suggests 62% of us don't get on with our

neighbours and messy gardens are one of the top five reasons. Tony

Livesey has joined one team tackling the front garden rubbish dumpers.

Stephen Moore to Nan Rebecca Williams work for Leeds council. --

Stephen Norton and Rebecca Williams. They are on a mission to clean up

some of the city 's rubbish. The council spends up to �8 million

every year to clean up the city but this task force is not only cleaning

the rubbish in the streets, it is targeting the rubbish in our own

backyards. You have 28 days to get rid of it. If people are keeping the

gardens in a really unreasonable state, we will take action.

Everybody had a responsibly key to keep it clean and tidy. How does it

save you money once they have tidied up? The officers pay for themselves

in terms of keeping the budget is under control. We educate and try to

work with people and those measures are starting to get across. There is

no legal requirement for anybody to keep a manicured lawn but where

there is a health risk, action can be taken. We are offering crime and

punishment but I have to say I am uncomfortable. My job is to peep

into people's gardens, poke into their rubbish. I am not sure what we

will find or what reaction we will get. Here goes. While on patrol, we

have spotted a waste filled garden home, but then our own shows up.

This is regarding the waste in your garden. I have to go to the tip on

Wednesdays and Fridays. I wanted to ask what was going on. This will be

on the watch it now? Yes. If he says what -- does what he is saying he

will do, we will thank him but if not we will go down the Forstmann

route. We don't have to walk far to find a bigger problem. This is an

ongoing issue that we have got. amazes me that nobody has run you.

That is what we are talking about, being proactive, we are asking them,

if they come across that sort of thing, to get in contact with us.

Leeds is one of a handful of councils taking proactive approach,

where officers look for mess whether neighbours complain or not. Last

year Leeds council served up 850 clean up notices and the threat of a

�100 fine was enough to persuade people to tidy up their act. Dealing

some householders have the right to say, get off my land, it is my

garden, I can do what I want -- do you think? It is their land but we

have to enforce the environment to laws and if it is on their land,

they have the duty to remove it. come across another pile of rubbish

and the first job is to find out who might have dumped it. You have to be

careful, you don't know what you might find. A prescription.We can

check and put the name on the system. People won't think about

mouse droppings. I tell you what, they have got a really tough job.

Look up the mess you are causing. It is unfair. Presumably we don't leave

this stuff. Of course not, we are going to put a sign on to let the

residents know that we have found evidence and we are going to get it

removed as quick as possible. kind of things have you seen?

throwing nappies out of the window into the garden. Used nappies. They

have gone splat. I started today thinking it wasn't right to sleep in

people's gardens but after some of the rot I have seen, I think they

are right to clean it up. Before the day is out I get to witness their

proactive approach working. Look at this. We have to remember the Ben

Nevis of rubbish, they are moving it away. It is a rubbish miracle. And

this street will sleep a lot tighter tonight.

I wasn't even aware that that happened. It is a shame they didn't

come by where I live because my next-door neighbour had a 3-piece

old bathroom suite in his garden and an upside-down sofa. I must get rid

of the fridge in front of mine! eagerly awaited Alan Partridge film,

Alpha Papa, is out tomorrow. Alan Partridge is a lot of things but a

movie star? Where did that idea come from? We were talking about it a

long time ago. We stopped doing Alan Partridge in about 2001. We left a

nine-year gap. I discovered these two new writers, Rob and Neal

Gibbons, who are twins, and they injected a new impetus and refreshed

the character. We said we would do a film at certain point, it has all

been fraught problems, because you don't want to disappoint people when

their expectations are so high. It is a tall order and you have got to

get it right. Traditionally when they take British sitcoms make them

into films, they will take the characters abroad. They always go on

holiday and it is very unfunny! ideas did you throw out? We had the

idea at one point of him being in a siege by terrorists, Al-Qaeda

terrorists at the BBC. We thought it might be a bit too... It might give

people ideas so we decided to avoid that. We wanted to keep it... The

problem is trying to keep the essence of the character of the

people who know him and making it work for people who don't know the

character. You can see the film and not know who he is. The problem is

if you try to make its cinematic and keep the DNA of Alan. He is a

medium-sized man in a small world. It is a big world in this movie. He

ends up in the middle of a siege and we will have a quick look at how

Alan deals with the police briefing. Do you suffer from nervous

conditions, panic attacks? Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? I

have had one Alnwick attack in a car wash. It was a perfect storm of note

sleep, no wife and -- one panic attack in a car wash. It was a

perfect storm of no sleep, no wife and angry brushes whirring towards

me. I have fired several rivals but I have never fired one in anger, or

at a cat. What could be quite a serious situation, Alan bizarrely

thinks of it as all of his Christmas is coming at once and he enjoys the

attention. Yes. Although he is middle-aged, bit like me, he is very

happy running his North Norfolk Digital radio station in Norwich.

But he still harbours the idea of making a big comeback and then the

siege happens, the world's media focused on this little radio station

and he sees it as an opportunity to relaunch his career and grab the

headlines try to get in of the cameras. Do you find you have more

in common with him than you used to, playing him at a young age? All the

things I am scared of saying, I have him say out loud. It is all your

worst fears. Sometimes, most people might think something very

inappropriate, but you don't say it. You edit yourself. With Alan, you

say the first thing that comes into your head. The idea was based on not

very good television presenters like yourself, but some of the below

average ones, shall we say? Where when you are broadcasting, the one

thing is you are not allowed to do is stop talking, all leave a dead

air. If I stopped talking now, people might change Channel 4 stub

you have always got to keep talking. Sometimes your brain is playing

in 20 years. When we did the television show I have used make up

to give me crows feet but I have now acquired them. I thought you were

going to say you have had work. Apart from the Botox and the

collagen. The problem is if you do the make up on the big screen, it

can look pantomime like and over the top. When you do a character on the

big screen, you have to slightly modify the character. He can't be

too obnoxious, you have to give him some empathy and make him a little

more real. He is still a clown but you have got to make him

believable. And I am 47, Alan Partridge is 55. He should be 57 but

we thought... I am catching up with him, basically. When I am about 65

we will be the same age. It is a brilliant form and Alan Partridge:

Alpha Papa is in cinemas from tomorrow. It is nearly time to

reveal the four finalists in The One Show art competition. Tuffers and

the judges had some hard decisions to make.

In June we launched The One Show art competition 2013, to celebrate the

young song amateur artists out there. We were overwhelmed by the

response and received over 700 entries -- the unsung amateur

artists. We invited viewers to send images which represent the theme,

where I live. You sent paintings and drawings in all manner of mediums.

The entries were whittled down to a short list of 24. The next stage of

the contest is to take four through to the final. It is not going to be

easy. But help is at hand. Joining me today are three judges. I like

the humour, it is or is nice when humour is injected. Michael Simpson

is it creator at the Lowry in Salford and he is interested in

modern art. Mina more aid is also a traitor and specialises at the

National Gallery of London. The third judge is aid the fashion

artist and master of many painting styles. -- is a professional artist.

I like the quirkiness, the odd perspective, the strange point of

view. 24 very different interpretations of the brief, where

I live. There is only room for four in the final. Time to get Syria's.

Michael, all amateur artists is on display here, first impressions? --

time to get serious. You would not know a lot of the work is by amateur

artists. There is a lot of personality and confidence. You want

a work of art that grabs you and stops you in your tracks and makes

you look again and a number of these do that. How have they interpreted

the brief? They have all got into the spirit of what has been asked

and they have done it very well. This bold, abstract work, it is full

of paint. It is a staircase going up, it is a strong work. It doesn't

push my buttons, I am afraid. It is a bit too messy. You quite like this

one, don't you? It is a charming portrait of someone's grandpa and I

love the way he is standing in a very informal way in the corner.

would be proud if I had done this myself. The next one, where is this?

This is on the Orkney Islands. A great place, I have been there. What

I love about this painting is the energy of the weather that has been

captured beautifully. The real nature of this place, you can feel

the wind on your cheeks and the sound of crashed waves. It is really

good. This is the second grandfather in

the competition. What do you think? I love the way it is larger than

life. It is bigger than a human head. I love his big ear, the

pinkish touches on his cheek and chin, and the bushy eyebrows. It is

a sympathetic portrait of someone that the artist loves. I get a real

sense of the person. It is done well, but almost a bit too obsessed

with detail. But it is still a smashing portrait. I have a soft

spot for. . This is everybody's next door neighbour. It is about the

location you live in, but it is also about the people who's around you.

You don't get many paintings of knickers in these sorts of

exhibitions, so that makes this special. What else is a favourite?

This work is Afternoon Sail: Falmouth Harbour. It is using

embroidery almost in the same way you would use Ansel. I think it is

tougher than they expected. Tuffers is here now. There was lots

of squabbling between the judges. New ways to interpret the theme. It

was fantastic. The standard was very high. Do you think you have got the

right four? Yes. Steve, revealed the first of the finalists. Artist

number one is Kerrie Renniegade will stop her paintings entitled Pappy,

and it is a portrait of her 79-year-old grandfather, Henry.

judges loved the loose, expressive style, and they thought the painting

had real peasants. Look at those eyes. Kerrie, why did you choose to

have your grandad represent where you live? I grandad lives across the

road from me. He loves it! You can see the family resemblance. Steve,

number two? Artist number two is Hannah Farley. Her work is called

Afternoon Sail: Falmouth Harbour and is drawn on handmade paper using a

sewing machine stitch. The judges loved the different take on drawing.

Very textural, and exquisite drawing. It is very different to the

others. Why did you choose to use different textures? While, I am a

textile artist, so I use lots of textures in my work. It comes

naturally to use them. Where is this? It is Falmouth Harbour, where

we go every year. Let's go onto finalist number three. The artist is

Brian. His entry is a drawing of his older brother Alexander. The judges

said this was technically very strong, old, with a powerful sense

of character. And the detail is amazing. Brian, your brother is very

handsome. What did he make of it? think he likes it. And why did you

choose your brother to represent where you live? I always associate

it with my family. And the last one, Steve? The last finalist is Lucy

Howard from Taunton in Somerset. Her entry is an acrylic painting called

Roast, which shows her and her dog getting Sunday dinner ready in the

kitchen. The judges loved the humour and energy of the painting, and they

said it had a real sense of place. It is Sunday afternoon. Lucy, is

your kitchen read in real life? but it did not look right for the

picture. Artistic licence. Congratulations to all four of our

artists. One of them will be crowned the One Show art competition winner

next Wednesday, when a real Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood, will judge the

final. But it is not over yet. They must create a new piece of artwork.

This time, the theme is summer in Britain. You have only got a week to

do it, and the verdict will be delivered next Wednesday. Steve here

is not the only person to hit the big-time by creating famous alter

ego is. Take, for example, Lobsang Rampa, the mysterious mock monk.

think Alan would call this film I Can't Believe It's Not Buddha.

Today, thousands of written is have embraced Tibetan culture and its

distro religion, but in the 1950s, few had even heard of Tibet. That

was all to change when a Tibetan lama arrived in London with a

remarkable life story he wanted to publish. The manuscript he brought

with him was called the third I. The author was Lobsang Rampa, or was it?

Sometimes, the truth is stranger than fiction, but sometimes the

fiction is stranger still. I am a Tibetan, one of the few who have

reached this strange western world. The golden roofs and domes deemed in

the brilliant sunshine. Closer... is a wonderful tale written by a

Tibetan about his life in Tibet. He became a lama at the age of six. He

had gone into a monastery, and he had gone through the process of

initiation which had given him a third I. An operation had been

conducted and a whole had been drilled between his two eyes. As a

result, you could see the ore is that everybody had. The story opened

a window on a hidden world, but when the publishers asked the feud

Tibetan scholars in Britain at the time to check its authenticity, the

lifestyle of this Lobsang Rampa seemed full of inconsistencies. They

suspected he had never even been to debate. The publishers tried to

persuade Lobsang Rampa to let them publish the third eye as a work of

fiction. But he declined and left the building in a huff. True or not,

they sensed that here was something that would levitate naturally and

fly off the shelves. They decided to publish all the same. Publishers are

not the Reading police. They are not there to say what is or is not

true. This book had a market. It was accessible and easy to read about

Tibetan Buddhism. It gave a lot of people an introduction into an area

of the world they were interested in. Everest was climbed in 1953.

People were interested in the area, but there was not information.

British public loved it, and within 18 months, 300,000 copies had been

sold. But the Tibetan scholars who declared the autobiography a fake

were still convinced that the author was not really said he was, so hired

a private detective, Clifford Burgess, to investigate Lobsang

Rampa. But if he was not a Tibetan Lama, who was he? The detective

revealed that Lobsang Rampa was in fact one Henry Hoskins, a plumber's

son from Devon. Unable to prove he really was Tibetan, Lobsang Rampa,

AKA Cyril, fled for island and then Canada, where he continued to write

books including one offering an unusual explanation for his western

ancestry. The author claimed that a few years earlier, he had fallen out

of a tree and suffered from concussion. When he regained his

senses, he was no longer Cyril Hoskin, the plumber's son, his body

had been taken over by the astral spirit of a Tibetan lama. Despite

being exposed as Cyril, the author continued to write books as Lobsang

Rampa, although the plots became even more bizarre. He is picked up

by flying saucers and goes to Venus. Then he goes to the centre of the

earth. His last book was the dated to him by his cat, Mrs Fifi grey

whiskers. So here is a man with great imagination. Whether or not

Cyril genuinely believed he was a Tibetan lama, he stuck to his story

until his death in 1981. His books have inspired many, ringing Tibet to

the Western world, but there were no tributes from the debate and

community. The Dalai Lama had led him of fraud and he was disowned by

the very people whose lives are so fascinated him. Nevertheless, the

third eye remains the bestselling book ever written about Tibet. Not

bad for a plumber's boy from Devon. Makes you want to read it. Well... I

do, anyway. You started your career as an impressionist, as a very young

lad? In the 1970s, when I grew up, there were only three channels and

no computers, so TV was King. Shows like that's life would get 20

million viewers. That was all there was, so you just watched TV. And

there were no video recorders, so you had to remember what you had

seen. If you wanted to talk about it afterwards, you had to tell people,

this guy said that in this voice. So I learned to do impersonations and

try and relate my favourite shows to people. I did that at school to get

out of having to do any work. And it worked out well. Well, we need your

help, because if you run a business and you would be happy to have the

One Show cameras spend time with you and your staff, we would like to

hear from you. The idea is to give some extra professional help in

these tricky times, and have some fun as well. If you are interested,

e-mail us. Now, if you are anywhere near

Weston-super-Mare, you would be mad to miss out on our summer Festival.

It kicked off today, with thousands of visitors joining in the fun.

Carrie, what has been happening? have had an amazing day. The sun has

shone throughout. We have had some singing going on, we have had salsa

dancing and all sorts. Angellica, what have you been up to? I have had

a wonderful day. I have held a snake. I was singing with you and

dancing and hosting the main stage. Everyone has been so friendly.

Highlight of the day? In the consumer tent, we played something

called Lingo bingo, where we test all the visitors on their financial

jargon. If they get a full house, they win a prize, a stick of

Weston-super-Mare Rock. The BBC are pushing the boat out! Larry, what

have you been up to? Competing with you all singing, all damn thing

spectacular, we were singing sea shanties. I love this music. It is

of course the Monty Python theme tune. The son of this area is John

Cleese, born in 1939. He was six feet tall when he was 13 will stop

so to commemorate his birth, we thought we would do a bit of a silly

walk play out. Angellica, are you up for this? Anything silly.Lifetime

ambition. Larry? Steve Coogan, this is a dream for Alan Partridge.

give up the day job. The One Show Summer Festival is open all day

tomorrow from 12, and we will be there on the beach tomorrow

evening, live at seven o'clock. come down to beat red near the pier