07/07/2011 The One Show

The hello, and welcome to The One Show. Tonight we are very, very

excited. Our guest is an hilarious Hollywood heavyweight with a long

list of talents that to his name. He is our ultimate guest, an iconic

comic, award winning actor, playwright, new dish and, showman,

composer and band dry it -- and banjo player. It is OF the Steve

Martin! He is with his band, the Steve! How welcome you are. Steve

Martin, nice to see you. That was the shortest banjos on I have ever

played. You have made your way over here from playing the banjo...

exhausted from the walk! But on Capitol Hill on July 4th, you

played for President Obama. played on the Capitol lawn, you

have a rehearsal shot, there was no audience there, there was half a

million people live. Half a million and four, we had four guest tickets.

We played on a different occasion in the White House for 100 people

for 100 people, and the fact that I play the banjo, at the White House,

for the President of the United States, has to be one of the

greatest thrills of his life. Without the dead! But he is a great

fan of you. -- without a doubt! You have starred in some of the most

iconic films of the last 30 years. You can have that. Matt and Alex

say... You were a comedian before that, but has music taking centre-

stage? It has for a while. My career has shifted, I have gone

with the flow, I have written books, a memoir, novels, and what it is is

that I am performing live again, I am doing music. When I did stand up

by has a little bit of music, now I have a lot of music and comedy, we

do comedy in the show, at least a third of it is comedy, or what I

think of us, dear! Let's indulge ourselves in one of your most

iconic movies, Planes, Trains and Tell? Why did you kiss my ear?

are you holding my hand? Where is your other hand? Between two

pillows. Those are not the lows! -- not pillows!

John Candy was such a sweetheart. Shooting of that film, the story is

about getting from one place to another, the shooting of it was

quite difficult because we had to chase snow, we were going through

the same chap -- troubles that the scripts indicated. John and I had a

lot of long hours, it was really cold where we were shooting, we

would amuse ourselves. We had a recurring joke that we would do

with each other, we would never get boarded doing the same joke over

and over. I would come up to her Mondsee, how is he? And John would

say, not so good. I would say, what does the doctor say? He would say,

well, the doctor says he is dead. Brilliant! We will be talking about

your new album and all sorts of stuff. But first there has been

dramatic news, the News of the World will print its final edition

this Sunday. Question Time are doing a special at 10:35pm on BBC

One, we can cross live to get the immediate reaction from David

Dimbleby. I do surprise the paper has actually been axed and it has

come to it? -- are you surprised? find it completely incomprehensible.

It is as though News Corporation had sent the News of the World to

jail, instead of sending the people guilty of wrongdoing, and somehow

that would end the story. I don't understand it, unless they feel it

is commercially no longer viable because people have taken against

it in droves. But time passes and people would probably come back to

it. I suspect it is a clever move to defuse the thing and allow

Rupert Murdoch to go ahead and take over the huge tank of television at

BSkyB, which is what he is really after -- the huge chunk of

television. Has this drawn a line under the whole affair? Absolutely

not, no. Not politically, people will be asking questions about the

connections between Murdoch and the Prime Minister, those close

connections. People will ask what will happen to Rebekah Brooks, who

runs News Corporation. There are a whole lot of cases that the police

will look at, it will go on and on. That is why it is so odd, it is

like punishing the title instead of the people in management

responsible. We have got Hugh Grant on, by the way. You were boasting

by your people, we have Hugh Grant! He has been very strong. We can cap

you! He has come into great difficulties with the press and the

bugging etc, he is a panellist, we will have to wait to see what he

says. Do you think there is a danger that this will spread to

other papers? It is difficult to tell. There have been allegations

that other papers have been involved, but nothing on the scale

of the News of the World. What is really interesting is does it

affect the way journalists behave? Of course they will be more

cautious about breaking the law. Does that affect police behaviour

of cases are Provan against them for telling stories to the press in

return for 500 quid etc? -- if cases are proven against them? It

will for a while, but it is difficult to control these things

forever. People say we get the press we deserve, we like the

gossip and the salacious stuff, I'm afraid, so I suspect newspaper

proprietors were always go after that. Thank you for your time. One

thing is for sure, Hugh Grant can't play the banjo. If you keep

listening you will hear Steve Martin, he is unbelievable. We went

out on the streets, we heard about the public and what weight -- what

they were saying, people will be buying the papers this weekend.

am hiring some of the News of the World staff to get my telephone

messages, because I have not been able to figure out how to do it.

APPLAUSE. I will have four people on staff.

In other news, the story of an extraordinary art theft, a $200,000

Pablo Picasso was taken from a San Francisco gallery in the middle of

the day. Can you believe this, the dirty, rotten scoundrel escaped in

a waiting taxi in broad daylight. As you said, a $200,000 Picasso, I

said, that must be a terrible Picasso! Have you got a Picasso?

have a small drawing. You watch nobody steals that now. I'm hoping

somebody will steal it, I can get more for the insurance, probably.

But you have been a victim of art fraud? I have been, recently, but I

don't know how much I can talk about it. I was in Paris and went

into a very fine gallery and bought a painting by a German/Austrian

painter, it was supposedly painted in 1915. Then I got a call, I will

not going to the details, they said, we think your painting is a fake. I

said, why? They said... That is it, that is the picture. They said, we

did an examination and the painted dates only back to 1940. That was a

pretty good indication. You will be interested in his next story. Phil

Tufnell has the tale of a theft from the National Gallery big

enough to get the law changed. If you were looking to frame a

successful art thief, probably the last face you would it would be a

disabled Geordie pensioner with an axe to grind about the television

licence, but that was the precise identity of the man who handed

himself into a bewildered Scotland Yard to four years after the theft

of a painting worth �21 million in today's money, right here at the

National Gallery. Kempton Bunton, a retired bus

driver, claimed to the police he had travelled to London to see the

portrait of the Duke of Wellington for himself after reading about its

purchase for the nation to protect it from a proposed sale to an

American collector. And he decided on impulse to steal the painting

the very next day. But what on earth turns a mild-

mannered OAP into a master criminal? A professor from the

American University in Rome has studied the theft in detail. He was

a particularly unusual art thief. He was 61 years old, disabled, a

retired grandfather weighing 17 stone. How did he pull it off?

According to his version, which may differ from reality, he used a

former men's lavatory as his entrance and exit, a ladder from a

nearby building site and he climbed up the ladder 14 ft, enter through

the lavatory, grab the painting and go out through the same window.

is just through here? Yes. What makes this different from any other

art that? It coincided with the time when organised crime was

becoming interested in art crime, and Scotland Yard thought there was

some large mafia behind the theft. But in fact, it was a crime of

passion and political motivation, misguided altruism. It was not

about profit but making a point. Kempton Bunton return to Newcastle

having jettisoned the frame on the way and stash the masterpiece in

his wardrobe. The story captivated the nation and became a sensation

in the press, and interest that Bunton kept alive by writing ransom

notes, demanding a charity of his choosing should be set up with

�140,000, the sum was painting -- the some of the painting had been

bought for and an amount he calculated would pay for free

television licences for pensioners. Colin was a trainee policeman on

his first beat in Newcastle at the time. We knew he had been to prison

twice for failure to pay television licence. I thought he was a

misguided eccentric. It never crossed your mind he would have

stolen the painting? Never in 100 years what I thought he was capable

or would have had the ingenuity. handed himself into Scotland Yard,

went to court, then what? He was charged at the Old Bailey with

stealing the painting, the frame and demanding money with malice.

But he could not be convicted of theft. Last any act of 1916 said

that to steal you have to permanently deprive the owner

thereof, where he had not, you just meant to borrow it and give it back

when he was satisfied, and he was given a nominal sentence of three

months for stealing the frame, because that was never recovered.

Kempton Bunton served his time and retired back into obscurity, but

his actions had a lasting effect, directly causing the Theft Act to

be redrafted in 1968 to prevent similar crimes. However, his wish

for the over 75 to receive free TV licences was not granted until the

year 2000, 24 years too late for Britain's most unlikely and

idealistic art criminal. He died in 1976, almost completely unknown.

Except by the only remaining witness to his unlikely criminal

career, back in its rightful place where it can still be seen today.

Got, Kempton Bunton, he had a bit of a nerve! Oh, we have some extra

sound! If they were making a remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, what

piece of artwork which you love? -- would you love? There is a

beautiful portrait in a museum in Boston by an American painter who

came to London, he was the head of the Royal Academy for a while. It

is that one. He looks like Jack black! It is an amazing portrait of

Jack Black. He was a silversmith and a famous patriot. I don't want

to remind the British of that. A famous American patriot.

Interesting choice. It is a beautiful American portrait, he was

a silversmith and tools -- and he has his tools. That is the painting,

I stole it. We notice there is an amazing illustration from inside

your album cover. It is your brain divided up into all the different

parts. Some artist friends who designed the album did this. It is

a little arrogant but I said, it is your idea, go ahead. A large chunk

is dedicated to the banjo. When did you start? When I was about 16 or

17. I had no musical gifts. By the way, I had no gifts at all, I could

not act, sing, dance or do anything, which I think contributed to a

quirky way of doing things. I did not have a conventional way of

doing anything. You have gone from nothing to having Paul McCartney on

the brand new album? I can't believe it. How did that happen?

is too long a story, unless we want to run over, but... I knew some

friends who knew some friends and I had met him a couple of times, very

sweet, I recorded the song that I had roads on my iPhone and I sent

it to him. We got a little mixed up and he said, I will do it. And it

went on for a couple of months and we set a date to record, we were

going to have lied to him, and about two days before the date came

up he said, what parts you want me to sing? I said, what?! I said, all

of it. He said, I thought I was going to back you up. So I ran into

the studio and recorded his best as I could, but I said, I am a

terrible singer. -- recorded as best as I could. I sent him the

tape, we were there, he was so sweet and he said, when you told me

you were a terrible thing I thought you were being humble, but you were

This you men cannonball? I looked at it the same where you did, it is

just weird. That is something they put in. The ice is a new talent you

could take up. I could, we are high enough. Do you have a cannon? Can

we open the window? It could be a nice finish to my career. Of all

the movies you have made, what has made you laugh the most? I don't

look at my old movies so I respond to what people tell me. I get a lot

of feedback from Dirty Rotten scoundrels, from Father Of the

Bride. A lot of fathers come up and say my daughter made me watch that.

Jim my favourite scene from Dirty Rotten scoundrels is you in the

buffet car with a meal and the three beers. The eye can't remember

that scene. It is one that people quote to meet! We know you are busy

on tour with your album and the band, but is there another classic

in the pipeline? Right now, I am fixated on the album and writing

music. I am writing the score for a movie in Los Angeles, one of those

animated 3D movies which is funny because the banjo is very suitable

for an animated film, this one happens to be about turkeys. Look

ing at the collection of stuff, including the cannonball which I am

sure you will go on to do, you are incredibly talented at juggling

everything. What are you happiest doing? When you are very involved

in something, if it is in writing it can be just the turn of the

phrase that makes you happy for the rest of the day. If you are doing a

show, if it is a good show, you feel extremely good for the rest of

the day. It is the tiny things. If you are writing a song, it can

really make you feel good. It is the little things that make you

feel good. Excellent. We will be hearing some of your music. Right

now it is The One Show. His new album called Rare Bird Alert is out

now. The bird in our next film is not rare, but extremely shy and we

were surprised it made an appearance for the cameras. You can

see it now in Des four of Mike and Miranda's penultimate summer

holiday watch. The Isles of Scilly is the first

landfall in the UK for any migratory birds travelling north

for the summer, but we heard a couple of special ones who have

decided to stay. We keep hearing this bird wherever we go. Surely

everyone recognises the cuckoo. The reason they are here - have a look

at this incredibly unpalatable caterpillar. Nothing much eats

these, apart from the cuckoo, which gobbles them up. You tend to hear

these birds rather than see them because they are very shy and timid,

but these ones are incredibly bold and visible. Explain the colours to

me. It is black and white stripes on its belly. And grey all over?

Yes. It has got a caterpillar. Fantastic. Normally we would not

get within a couple of hundred metres of this bird, but this

cuckoo is the most confident I have ever seen. I have been bird-

watching for 30 years, I have heard cuckoos thousands of times but I

have never been this close. 40 metres away? It is not bothered by

us at all. There it goes. That is my highlight! Brilliant Cocom

behaviour. The waters around the Isles of Scilly have plenty of

visitors passing through during the year. Fingers crossed, we are going

to see one of nature's greatest predators which has just been

spotted on its way to the island. It is the blue shark. How are you

feeling? Fantastic, I am so looking forward to it. Have you ever seen a

shark in the flesh before? Only in a tank. It would be amazing to see

one on the deck. A today could be quite special. These sharks migrate

from the east Coast of America, arriving here in early June before

heading off to the as us. Due to the concerns about falling

population, local fishermen have been catching them for the last 20

years on behalf of the UK shark tagging programme. How is the

population doing? Not great, numbers are definitely lower than

20 years ago but at the moment they seem to be holding their own. It

has been fairly steady in the last couple of years. To try and bring

the sharks to the bait, mashed up fish is put overboard. Once they

are enticed to the boat, there is a very tasty fishing line loaded with

mackerel. Now it is just a case of After one hour, we catch the first

blue shark I have ever seen in the I am so excited. That is brilliant.

To save the shark's stress, they have just two minutes to weigh it

and target. Is that about average? Yes, slightly below maybe. This is

a young female about six years old, and she could eventually grow to

well over three metres. If the shark is quarter again, the tag

will identify where she has been an help calculate any changes in

weight and length. All this information is valuable for future

conservation. I am not putting my hands anywhere close! Throughout

the season, they will tag around 30 blue sharks. I was expecting

nothing really. I was expecting a sunny day out on the boat. We were

eating our lunch. Then somebody shouted shark! Really exciting.

Next to close encounters of the Third Kind, as tomorrow I get close

to some very friendly seals. They were lovely. You can catch their

final film tomorrow, it is another good one. We have moved over to

join the band here, the Steep Canyon Rangers. They are all set,

give them a big round of applause. Loads of people have been getting

in touch, interesting e-mails, and all sorts. Debbie from Birmingham

wants you to do the pointy bird call. Pointy birds, pointy pointy,

anoint my head, pointy. If give us a flavour of what the audience can

expect to see from your band. a music show we comedy. There is a

lot of chat, but the music is quite serious, serious blue grass, but we

do some comedy songs. We are serious musicians but there is a

lot of humour in the show. How long have you been together? About five

minutes. Didn't you go on holiday and that is where you met? You us,

we met at a party. We started touring together when I made these

records and it has worked out to be a great collaboration, but they are

their own band but I come in and out, like a bad dream. You're going

for around Britain, are you looking forward to this tour? Very much. We

played the Royal Festival Hall last year and it was one of the best

shows ever, and that is why we are back. Thank you, it has been

amazing to meet you. We will let you get ready now, Steve and the

Steep Canyon Rangers's album Rare Bird Alert is out now. Take it away,

with Jubilation Day. I will just explain that this song is based on

the fact that not all break-ups are bad, some of them are the best

thing that can happen to you. This # I'm walking away. like Rupert

Murdoch told me. A # I'm walking away the self-help book implored me.

# I'm walking away. My best friend had warned me. Even your mum said

you were not. # In my dreams... I'm walking away.

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 74 seconds

# I'm walking away. Let me get my things. I'm walking away. Where did

you hide my banjo strings? walking away. I will be over you by

lunchtime. A I'm walking away. # I'm walking away. Let's only

remember the good times. walking away. Like when you were