19/10/2011 The One Show

Hello. Welcome to the One Show. Tonight's guest claims n his own

words, he wants to redefine the evolutionary model of man. But he

seems to spend most of his time building toy planes and driving

very fast cars. 470! It's the giggling, James May!

APPLAUSE Incredible. You look every inch the

real man there. You do think that men have sort of lost their way a

bit? It's not so much that, but the problem is I think that the way man

is portrayed on television. That is a different thing. We are supposed

to be endearing and useless. We have to stop being useful again.

think so too. We'll be chatting to James about his book, where he

teaches men all the things we need to survive. Including, how to build

an essential crazy golf course. Look at Dom. He's done a super job,

considering he only had a couple of milk bottles. It's not all about

the men tonight. If you are a woman who is handy with a toolbox send us

pictures of you and your creations. Please, don't let us down. James,

are you quite happy with your parking? Parking a car? Yes, normal

car. Yes. Doesn't sound very interesting. We all know about

speed cameras, but there's a new one. Motorists be aware, it's the

mobile CCTV parking camera. There's a new kid on the block. In 2008,

councils in England and Wales were given a new weapon in their

armourary against problem parkers. It's -- armoury against problem

parkers. It's CCTV cars. They are a small, but significant tool, and

equipped with the latest state-of- the-art technology. Since the new

cars have been in operation penalties outside London have risen

by almost 500,000. It's not clear the increase in fines is down to

the cars, but drivers everywhere have locked horns with them.

Michael Johns was find by Medway Council for parking illegal I. The

only problem is he claimed he wasn't parked at all. He told the

council he had been turning into an entrance, but had to reverse when

he was filled by the car. The light seemed to indicate he was

manoeuvring. I appealed against it, but Medway Council didn't allow it,

so I took it into my hands and put it through to the advocator. I

thought if I don't win it, I don't win it and I won it in the end.

Despite this win, the council insist he was parked illegally. The

video footage shows this and they say Mr Johns admitted this in his

original appeal. They also said they were given insufficient

notification of the hearing to be able to attend. The way the cars

are used is a major issue. important thing is the councils are

focused on how to use the vehicle and when to use the vehicle and to

follow the guidance that is issued to them. Some argue that cars flout

guidelines by hiding from public view. What are you doing, Bruce?

assist the camera cars in doing their duty. The statutory goal is

100% compliant with our penalties. When we are there they achieve

exactly that, because people see the car and they don't commit the

offence. Most of the people don't know they are about to commit an

offence until we tell them. council still think that cars are

extremely effective. If you park legally then you'll not have a

problem and that would be my message to all. Park elly and you

won't have to worry at all. even some of the cars have found

themselves on the wrong side of the regulations. Nigel received a

ticket in Richmond in August 2010. He successfully had it repealed

after it was ruled the CCTV car that fined him wasn't properly

licenced by the Department of Transport. His case has opened the

floodgates and Richmond council is looking at having to refund 18,500

tickets issued between 2009 and 2011 at a cost of just over �1

million. Elsewhere, there are concerns about how the cars operate.

There are occasions when the public come and say, well, look, it was on

a double yellow line for five minutes whilst it was filming me

and why should they park there when I can't? This was photographed in

2010. Camden council said some of their vehicles have permits

allowing them to park anywhere. Drivers have instructions they

should only park on double yellows when necessary and safe. With so

many questions being asked about mobile CCTV they are going to

remain controversial and the focus of drivers' anger, but with other

councils orderering even more, be warned because they are going to --

ordering even more, be warned, because they are going to become

much more prove lent. James, you are a chancer when it comes to

parking? I have believed that parking - obviously inconsiderate

parking is bad, but there should be an element about sport about it.

I've seen an incident where an old guy pulled up by the side of the

road and obviously left his wife at the supermarket and they were in

their 70's and she was there with the two big bags. He stopped and

did the decent thing and open the door and someone came up with a tow

truck to take the car away. To take the car way? The local people

rebelled and protected him while he drove off, but I thought that is

picking on old people, which is very bad form and unBritish. That

is certainly one case, but in general can you moan if you get

caught? Of course. The first thing you'll hear about it is when it

lands on the doormat. It will have the details of where you were and

the first thing, if you know you're in the wrong you have to pay up. If

you are not and you want to appeal, you have a right by law to ask to

see the footage. The council will send you a DVD, or you can go along

to the offices and request to see it within 14 days. They have to

allow you. If you win the appeal, great. If you don't you can ask for

an industrial tribunal to consider it. It shouldn't cost anything and

they'll give their verdict. If you lose that one, you might as well

pay up. If you've got any sort of threat hanging over like a parking

ticket, if you register a dispute with the company then they are not

allowed to enforce bailiffs until the dispute is resolved. Let them

know you are aware of that. Quite often the tickets disappear. This

is private companies? Even if you had a gas bill. If there is a

dispute and you raise it with anybody and you say, "I dispute

this." Until it's resolved no-one can bring in debt recovery agents.

Let them know you know about that law and it often goes away. Away

from parking, who would you say is the best driver, you, Jeremy or

Richard? If we are brutally honest, we would have to say it's me.

Because, it just is. I'm the fastest without crashing as we saw

earlier on. You are notorious for being the slowest? The Bugatti was

just about 259mph. My view is I take a rather sort of spiritualist

approach to driving. Slow is what I'm saying is what I'm saying.

Safest, though, James. Yes, slow isn't necessarily safe, but it can

be part of it. Cars are not actually about - for example, I

don't like driving around racetracks because you drive the

car as hard as possible and wear the tyres out and 1.38.25 seconds

you are back where you were at the beginning and that goes against the

grain of what the car is for, it's what it allows you to do which is

great. I'm happy - my favourite bits are where we buy an old car

and have to drive them across the desert. We'll have more of a chat

about that later on, but Dom, thank you very much. We'll let you get

back to the golf. I need some practice. Park yourself over there.

Nice! According to BP, which has just announced it's biggest-ever

investment in the North Sea there is black gold in the waters. The

company is ploughing in 4.5 billion. We look back as how it all began.

This is Aberdeen. Known as the granite city, it used to be famous

for the flishing fleet and little else, but in November 1975 it was

at the heart of the new industry. Aberdeen had always depended on the

sea, but no-one could imagine the riches which lay out there and they

could be summed up in one word - oil. The coming of black gold

changed Britain. We became self- sufficient in oil. It began

officially at least in November 1975 when the Queen came to

Aberdeen to turn the tap on. If we use it right, this flood of energy

can, without doubt, much improve our economic well-being. This

professor has written the official history of North Sea Oil. Why did

people look here for the oil? impetus for exploration was the

discovery of the huge gas field in the Netherlands and in 1959. That

led gentlemenologists to think that there could be gas extending into

the North Sea. In the early days, there was little or no thought

about oil. In fact, one famous quote from a geologist was he would

drink any barrel of oil found in the North Sea. Others believed it

was worth exploring for oil off Britain's east coast. They were

right. The first major oilfield was 40s. Discovered in 1970. Others

quickly followed and they couldn't have come at a quicker -- better

time. 73 and 74, that was the time of the big oil crisis, when the

price quadrupled, so to get oil on- stream from indigenous sources was

a big priority. Northern Scotland became a hive of activity for a

whole army of oil prospectors. It was like the gold rush. People came

here from all over the world to seek their fortunes in North Sea

Oil. But, unlike the old gold prospectors, they needed skill and

experience in the off-shore oil industry. Very many of them were

Americans, who had learnt their trade in the Gulf of Mexico. The

North Sea was a different environment altogether. Oil

exploration and production had never been carried out in such

extreme conditions. Andrew Lawrie was one of the pioneering engineers.

It was wild water. The weather conditions and the winter time, it

could be pretty rough. Work had to go on. Heavy lifts and boats coming

in and cranes that had to offload equipment from boats. The drivers

trying to time the lifts. Everything had a potential for

disaster. Soon, millions of barrels of oil were flowing into British

refineries, but the dangers of pumping gas and oil ashore were

always at the forefront of workers' minds. The worst that could have

happened wasen -- was an explosion, a blowout. That was the ultimate

nightmare. The dangers became all too clear when the Piper Alpha rig

exploded in July 1988. 167 men lost their lives in a disaster which

resulted from a gas leak caused by a missing safety valve. Have the

sack feists and hard work of the pioneers been work it? Oil was

vital to the economy in the 1980's and contributing almost 5% of the

GDP and almost 8% of tax revenues. Critics say the Government used the

money to prop up day-to-day spending, instead of investing for

the future. Rge -- Norway wanted to set up a fund to ensure people

benefited once and for all. A lot of the oil revenues were in effect

used for consumption purposes. Whatever your opinion on how the

money's been spent, there's no doubt the North Sea Oil industry

was a huge engineering achievement. It ranks alongside that of the

great Victorian railway builders and the benefits are continuing.

The fields are likely to provide oil for at least another 40 years.

Thank you very much. Isn't it true that you were once saved by an oil

rig diver? Yes. I like to think so. It was when I was making a problem

about sharks and I jumped off a small boat with my diving kit and I

had to throw the jacket in first and jump in and I got it on wrong

and I got cramp and I thought this is is, I'm going to drown and there

was a big bloke called Gary and he had worked on riggs in the 70's.

Most of the friends were dead and all the rest of it. He had had a

dangerous life and it was like a kitten who had fallen into the

stream and he put me back on the boat. Made me feel feeble. I'm very

grateful, if he's watching. A real man who doesn't really need your

new book? Definitely not. Half of him was made of met eal at this

Crazy golf is a great therapy. We believe it could be used to enliven

the miserable lives of office workers simply by being set up on

station car parks, public parks. It also allows you to be creative

because the few -- if you build a permanent one, you can invent

things out of bits of furniture... These are very sophisticated.

obviously an expert. Step up to the plate. I never said I could do it!

Theoretically, you should always be able to get a hole in one... That

is all right. Keep going. Just keep going. That is what they do.

Brilliant! Perfect! It is not just about how to build a crazy golf

course. Your book equips men with the knowledge they need to survive

the 21st century. I describe it as used on this is newt. You can't put

everything in one book because it would be the size of this building.

It is designed to inspire you to have a go at things, to allow

people to acknowledge that being interested in having a spanner in

the correct size is OK. There is the fashion for saying that means

you are a bit sad and weird or you have never had sex but that is not

true. It is OK to make things and it is quite good to get excited by

pieces of wood. Great! Do you think girls need a similar

manual? That is part of the inspiration behind the original

idea. I am forever being told that girls are brilliant at everything

and my experience is that that is largely true but... We should not

have called it Jordan -- Man Lab. There are girls in Man Lab. I would

like women to watch it. I called it Man Lab because I wanted men to

start making a bit of an effort. You give some great tips on the TV

series, which starts on Tuesday, and one of them is to remember

Use the name frequently when you are introduced and find an excuse

to say it a number of times. OK, I will keep saying their name. Don't

overdo it otherwise they will think you are a nutcase.

A new crowd of guests have arrived. Time to tried technique number one.

Hello! Nice to meet you, Clare. How are you doing, Clare? Are you all

right, Khaled? Well done, Clare. Michel, a nice to meet you,

Michelle. Drink it up, Michelle. Well-matched has ago, we will move

on to the next one. -- while Matthew has a go. Otters are

brilliant at the art of survival and they love having a play with

40 years ago, Britain's rivers were in a terrible state. Polluted with

pesticides and chemicals, the wildlife that live in them was in

serious decline and otters suffered more than most. But with a

nationwide clean-up, many of our rivers now tell a different story.

The River Stour in Dorset is one such river that hosts an abundance

of otters like never before and whilst the townsfolk go about their

daily business, plenty of them have had some good sightings. In between

deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, Stephen has found a special

affinity for the otters of this river. Stephen, how did you first

chanced upon their otters? decided a river walk would be nice

in the mornings so we started walking the dog and one morning, I

saw a family of four otters playing happily and from that moment on, I

was hooked. Since then, not only has even been taking some cracking

photos, but by charting the positions of his sightings on a map,

he is providing valuable information for the local wildlife

trust, and us. Fantastic! These red circles

indicate all the locations that you have seen them regularly. Yes.

Where are we at the moment? We are opposite number three. They are not

moving a huge distance. How far is that on the map? That is probably

600 metres, 700 maximum, though it is quite a short area. Let's go and

Otters might be making a comeback but from my experience, they are

extremely elusive and require an early start and lots of patience.

But even with Stephen's map and his amazing local knowledge, I wasn't

expecting to find an otter in less than 30 seconds. Right at the

bottom... We have got an otter! It That is brilliant! I think I am a

pretty good naturalist, I have some good rides for spotting things, but

you were all over this! You can see that lovely outlay, the big broad

head and the body and the flattened I have to say, I am blown away. I

thought we might get a glimpse. I had no idea he would be going up

and down and feeding. As the otter disappears, we used Stephen's map

to see if we can find any more, and the morning just got better and

Look at the trail of Bubbles... On the water.

LAUGHTER. He just pops up into shot! The sheer number of otters on

this river is that standing. -- outstanding. The River Stour is

special. It is at Chalk River, with gravel beds, which makes it ideal

for fish to lay their eggs. This creates an abundance of food for

wildlife and a perfect habitat. So perfect that Stephen has seen up to

nine otters living a long is a very short stretch. Considering 40 years

ago, these animals were virtually extinct in the UK, I just can't

believe how many otters there now appear to be.

Thrilling. Amazing. Absolutely thrilling, Stephen. The best view

of otters I have ever had. I get this every day. Absolutely

beautiful. It was recently revealed that otters can now be found in

every county in England. Good news. Are you a fan was might

I am now. Are you an animal lover? I am a bit soppy about animals

because I am a townie. I see a fox and go, look at the Fox, whereas

Richard Hammond thinks I am an idiot for saying that, but he lives

in the countryside... 800 years ago. He we won't go into that! We have

Pat, not bad for 64! I have this woman on the winds. -- on Toulouse.

It is like extremely soft porn. this is E in's wife doing welding

I know her! That is my Meccano bridge! Really? Yes, she was the

chief designer and engineer on that project. You can take at home then.

James, isn't it correct that your full name is James Daniel? Are you

happy with it? Yes, I think so. James is my middle name.

And mine. But a growing number of people are opting to change their

names! What is in the name? That is

Shakespeare. Quite a lot if you got in the public life. Reg Dwight

became Elton John. Marion Morrison became John Wayne. Stephanie German

Otto became Lady GaGa. Although you have probably already guessed, she

Do you like your name? I love it. Why? Because it means a person who

is good with anything arty, music, throwing... I was thinking of

calling myself Max steel? It is silly. My brother had a nice name

and my sister had a good one and I always hated mind. Why did you not

change it? It is what my mum called me! Ten years ago, the numbers of

people changing their names were in the low hundreds every year, and

now it is up to the tens of thousands. One of these was Pixie,

who changed her name from Rachel. decided to change my name to move

on with my life. I didn't tell my family until after I had done it so

there was not a lot they could do. What does her boyfriend Nigel make

of it? Pixie is different to Rachel. Rachel is very quiet and nervous

but Pixie enjoys life. She is a different person. What motivated

Pizzey to change their name she was born with? Sometimes people want to

create a break between who they were and who they are now. Some

people change their names because they see it as aspirational, so it

associates with someone they want to become. I have a more positive

outlook. I am not living in the past as much. I feel like I am

reborn with a new identity. Maybe there is more to a name then just a

random collection of letters. Maybe it have the power to influence your

future and you happiness. Maybe if I had been caught Julian and Thorpe,

a would-be prime minister by now. Or in prison... -- Julian Ogilvie,

I would be prime minister by now. James is number 10 in the top 100

best boys' names. Jeremy is pour hundred and 22. That does not

surprise me. -- 422. Look at these sisters. They are

twins! Are they?

And this is memory, plastering the kitchen. It is that way round!

It depends if she is plastering the ceiling!

Sophie is 13 from rugby. She is assembling a rabbit hutch.

This is one of those mobile parking...

That is the wrong way round! The other way!

It has tipped over! Good! I hope he got a ticket for that! Dom has been

super and has built the golf course, taught us about parking and now he

is about to do the final lurch into manhood. Come on! What is

happening? This is all about how to cheat at playing the guitar in

order to serenade the one you love. More details on the TV programme,