21/12/2012 The One Show

Hello. Ho, ho. Ho. Welcome to the One Show before Santa comes down

the chimney. She's Alex Jones. Chris Evans. Tonight our primary

school nativity stars go live. Phil Tufnell and Sister Wendy give

us a festive feast for the eyes. And our guest is the top chap of

Top Gear, James May. James May is here.

Plus, that music you hear - it's being whistled live by this man.

David Morris, world champion whistler. He's so cool, isn't he?

He's incredible. He's the best. James, Christmas shopping, how is

it going for you? I haven't done it yet. Petrol stations are open

Christmas eve. Oh, no. I'll do it tomorrow. It's going to be a quiet

one, isn't it? Yes, I am staying home for the first time in quite a

long time. It's just me and the missus - sorry, I shouldn't say

that in this day and age, durky, Christmas carols around the piano.

From tonight? Yes, Tiny Tim and all of that stuff. Very nice.

Traditional, sweet and charming. Very Mayish. Very Mayish. The

Christmas special you usually give us is the Top Gear Christmas

Special. We have news - it's not in dear, is it? We have done a

Christmas special technically. It's not very Christmasy because it's

fairly well known it takes place in Africa, where it's hot and it's not

in December, but March. Apart from that... It was February, but you

moved it back even further from Christmas. Yes, we moved it further

back because we thought people might mistake it as something

festive for Christmas. It's March. In Somerset celebrating Christmas

200 feet below the earth in Frozen Deep, the cave we proved was the

biggest in Britain earlier this year. Yes. The question is, can you

beat it? Send us photos of you celebrating

Christmas in a strange place please. We'll show some later, when James

will also tell us about playing with his new big toy.

After our Christmas, the Paper Plane Superstars challenge on Toy

Stories. Now, our first film is all about

the story behind this Christmas classic.

If you let it, Christmas can become the season of stress and traffic

jams. Suddenly, it can lift and you see the festive way ahead when a

song comes on, and it sums up what it's really all about. It's about

dropping everything for two weeks and doing Christmas. Chris Rea's

Driving Home For Christmas is a seasonal standard, but it could

almost have been his swan song. He began writing the track whilst he

was working here at Abbey Road Studios trying to emulate the

success of the song You're a Fool If You Think It's Over.

His wife Joan drove down from Middlesbrough to pick him up for

the Christmas break. My career at that point was really on the floor.

I'd ceased to become the popstar that the record companies wanted me

to be, and I was about to be dropped, so it was pretty ropey

when we left Abbey Road that night. We had been discussing opening an

Italian restaurant and leaving the music business. We started to drive

hope. It was snowing when we left Abbey Road. And we were young. We

were in love. I just felt happy. I felt stuff the stuff that's

happening in my career. It's Christmas. There was a little tune

I had in my head which was Christmasy, you know? Mukhachyov

# I'm driving home for Christmas # Oh, I can't wait to see those

faces # We're all driving home for

Christmas, and I do silly things like wind the window down, wish

this person a happy Christmas. I just scribbled the lyrics down,

just so I don't forget. I always do that, back of a fag packet, that

kind of thing. We eventually got home 5.30am. What I always remember

is when we opened the house that we - just about to lose the mortgage

on - the snow fell in the hall and didn't melt.

LAUGHTER It was that cold, and there was one

letter on the floor, and I opened it, and it was the PRS statement

for Fool If You Think It's Over in America. Those were your writing

royaltys? Yeah. She was having to check the notes, and it was just a

Christmas story, you know? It was like I just said to her, well,

we're going to have the big tree. # Well, a thousand memories... That

part of the leer ic I love is "a thousand memories". Why is coming

home so important for you? At that point in time it was huge because I

was very happy personally in Middlesbrough. We were Irish

Italians. The total family - there was nine of us. Christmas was huge.

Christmas was more special then. I always loved coming down about

4.00am in the morning, and it would be icy waste or snow outside, and

the final was still on. It's magic. It is magical. The unexpected

royalty cheque helped turn things around for Chris, and a few years

later with his career on the rise again, he came back here to Abbey

Road to record his Christmas classic. The wonderful magic of

this song is, this was where I got the first idea, and also, years

later when you became successful, this is where the strengths were.

How do you feel about that song now when you hear it? I went through a

period of being cynical. I went through - with all of my illnesses,

I didn't - I couldn't go there. It used to make me depressed, you

know? I would think of a time when I wasn't ill. I quite like it now.

# Though you can't hear me when I get through #

It's one of those silly moments, and I think we all - we all get

silly at Christmas. # I'm driving home for Christmas #

It's got to be in your top five... It's a brilliant song. What about

Flying Home for Christmas - look at this picture! The boys and girls in

Afghanistan flying home for Christmas. What a touching sight.

That is a good picture. James, there may not be a Top Gear

Christmas Special, well, there is in March, but there is a James May

Toy Stories special. There is. is where you relive your childhood

making toys bigger and better. it's an attempt to discover science

through toys. Which toy are you obsessed with for Christmas? Flying

toys but particularly those toys they would have made in the '70s at

Christmas - balsa wood - toys you spent ages, days sticking together

for Christmas. We supersized it and gone for a record. We're

celebrating the magic of flight which grips people at a really

early age. We explain it's not magic because it's simple physics.

It's easy to understand basic air row dynamics but then when you fly

something, it's completely magic. When you talk of a free flight,

which we'll see in a moment or two - you urge it to keep going, and

you tend to get more excited the further and further it goes. Model

aeroplanes are basically sustained by hope rather than anything that

happens in the world of physics. Shall we see a little bit of that

hope? Look at that. That's better! Oh! Oh! It's still flying. Go, baby.

That is best model aeroplane I have ever been involved with. Every

other one I built ever got only as far as that bush there. Look at

that. It's almost out of sight. APPLAUSE

I mean, it did work out in the end. We won't give away the ending

completely, but some things did go wrong? Oh, yeah, virtually

everything went wrong. It's a simple idea - build a balsa wood

glider and fly it. In some ways the bigger you build it, the better it

is. But yeah, we had problems with logistics, problems with

international politics, probables with... Problems with the French?

How much can you tell us about that. I do give a little soliloquy on the

white cliffs of Dover which makes the problem quite clear, I think.

LAUGHTER It's to do with the world record

attempt, wasn't it? Yes. We did want a world record. There is one

that exists for a free flight distance by a toy glider, by a

basic balsa wood glider, but things like the weather - this has been a

very bad year for filming things outdoors in Britain. It has, James.

Just like a Sheffield. A bit dreary. Everybody watches thinking at least

we can see something nice on television - it's not. It's rain

and gales. You were going to launch this from a Baloon, but in the end

you had to do it from beneath a helicopter. Yeah. That gave us a

problem as well because theoretically when you launch from

a bool on, it is stationary with the air. The balloon moves with the

air, so it's like throwing it out the window, but if you do it from a

helicopter, you have this massive downdraft from the rotars. There's

various risks of the glider flying into the helicopter. So we had to

run it the last minute - a day-and- a-half before, I had to get my

chief engineer working on a system to launch it. If it hadn't worked,

I wouldn't be here talk to you now. It's very exciting. Any show that

involves you having your own chief engineer is amazing. He actually

lives in my house. James May's Toy Stories Kung Foo Fighting is Sunday

at 9.30pm on BBC Two. Don't miss it. It's a great hour of TV. For the

past two days we've been following rehearsals for Battlefield

Primary's nativity, and tonight it's time to find out whether the

play was all right on the night. And Carrie's on double duty tonight

as she's in Glasgow with some very proud parents and teachers.

It is the actual proper nativity performance for all your mummies

and daddies. How excited are you? Yeah! Yeah. He has to wear tensile

We have 246 seats today. We're hoping that'll be enough. This way.

I think we'll get a bit scared when we're on stage, but I think we'll

do really well. # Little town of Bethlehem

# What a starry sky # You will see amazing things

# On the special night # Tonight, tonight

# On the way you'll see # It's exciting because we're going

to be good. # My house is very, very -

# We've all been getting in a tizzy # We've not got any room at all #

Please, sir, can you help us? David Weirry and need sleep. I suppose I

can squeeze you into the stables. It's a bit smelly, but you'll have

to mind the animals, and you're welcome. Usually something goes a

bit wrong, but it adds - adds to the flavour.

CRASH I am going to be a wee bit nervous,

but I think I can do it. There in the stable before it was dawn, a

# It's amazing # It's a wee little baby boy

# It's amazing # There is no mistaking

# It's a baby # We're going to enjoy #

Have you packed the camels? Yes, they're all ready. Let's follow

that star. A very special baby boy has just been born in Bethlehem.

All those angels, we must go and see this baby. He must be very

special. Let's take him a little lamb for a present. Now it's time

to say goodbye. It's time we must be stopping.

ALL: So hurry up and grab your bags and do that Christmas shopping.

# Hallelujah, sing hallelujah # The children really rose to the

occasion. # Hallelujah

# Sing hallelujah # Christ is born today #

ALL SPEAK AT ONCE All of my friends did a really,

really good job. # And stamp your feet

# Swing your heads around to the beat #

Just - it's done. I've done it! # Hallelujah

# Sing hallelujah # Christ is born today #

APPLAUSE Ah, aren't they lovely? Beautiful,

and that's why YOU should have children. Right. Carrie is on

double duty tonight, as she's in Glasgow with some very proud

parents and teachers. Welcome to Glasgow.

APPLAUSE How cute are the children of

Battlefield Primary? They're so cute, and they're here with us live.

It's great to have you with us. Hazel, you were taking that ever so

seriously. How have they done? have been brilliant, absolutely

fabulous. I can't be prouder of them.

You do at a timeic seriously. What are the plans for the next

production? How do you top it? like to do Oliver. I don't know.

What do you reckon? ALL: Yes. How would you like to get

on the stage yourself? Absolutely. Daniel, who do you play? King Heard.

What do you do? Wa-ha, ha, ha! That's your evilla. Where does he

get that from, dad? Me. How has he been this week? He has been stack,

very proud of him. What are you doing? I am a soloist

in the choir. What was her performance like, mum? It was very

good. The teachers did a great job in Battlefield. Did you feel

nervous for her tonight? I do, but she doesn't. How about you guys,

nervous? ALL: No. Are you ready to take it

away? ALL: Yes.

Off you go. The stable was hushed. Not a sound

met the sheep. Everyone looked at the baby asleep While he slept on.

Not a soul made a sound. The stable was filled with love all around.

# Away in a manger # No crib for his head

# The little Lord Jesus # Laid down his sweet head #

Let's hear it for the kids. They have been amazing. James, tell us

about you falling in love doing your own nativity play? Oh, I told

you that in complete confidence. Sorry! No, I had a brown dressing

gown which was the passport to stardom in the '70s. I was a

shepherd, then promoted to non- speaking Joseph, where I was

allowed to stand with my arm around Jane Young, who was Mary. You said

you fell in love with her. I was six, Chris. But it was a lovely

moment, yes. Time now to see how others have interpreted the

nativity story through the eyes of our favourite pair of art lovers,

Sister Wendy and Phil Tufnell. The scene of the wise men following

the star to the birth of baby Jesus is probably one of the most popular

scenes on our Christmas card, but what was their significance? Sister

Wendy has picked out two paintings from the National Gallery in London

to tell us more. Sister Wendy, good to see you again. You too, dear sir.

A beautiful picture you have chosen. It is beautiful. It's an unusual

shape. It's a round picture, so everything has to be perfectly

balanced, and he's got it. Now, dear Phil, what do you think you

are looking at? Well, uh, the three kings... Ah ha, ha! You think

you're looking at the three kings? I do. Well, in actual fact,

although there's clearly a crown there... Yes, that's the give-away

for me! Kings is clearly in the imagination. Because they brought

such rich presents, all the scriptures say wise men came from

the east. They were astrologers and astronomers because they saw the

star. There were three? No there, could have been platoons of kings.

We just know they were wise men from the east. OK. When they found

the infantries, they worshipped him, an event known as "the Adoration."

And it meant so much, they were called to come worship the new-born

Christ because up until then it was thought he was theirs, just for the

Jews. Everyone. Yes, and this shows it, you see? Another thing - I

always thought it was in a stable. That's not a stable. It looks like

an old ruin. It is a ruined temple. Botticelli wanted to show us the

pagan religion had gone. The coming of Jesus had ruined it, so he's

ensconced there high up. You'll notice that because everybody's

looking up. Yes, it's all painted - you can only see the back of the

heads. And the backs of the horses, et cetera. Yes, there is the huge

back side of a horse there. I think that's meant to show us this is the

real world. This wonderful thing is happening in a world where there

are back sides. LAUGHTER

Sister Wendy's next choice shows us the second part of the story.

What's this got to do with the wise men? It's the unexpected political

fallout of a very innocent mistake by the wise men. Right. They went

to king Herod, the king of the Jews, to ask, "Where was the new-born

king?" Which terrified him because he hadn't got a new-born son, so he

decided to kill all small children in the immediate vicinity, so an

angel warned Joseph, "Take Mary and the child and flee into Egypt." And

this shows they're safe now - or relatively safe, though they - on

their way to Egypt - though I must admit this doesn't look very much

like Egypt, but this is how the Renaissance artists who had never

seen Egypt imagined it. They're looking a bit more relaxed, aren't

they? They're having a rest. They feel they're safe. Mary is holding

the child. At their feet you can see the possessions they could tai,

not much, and Joseph, who is absolutely worn out.

I know how he feels. He's got his staff, and he's looking up,

spotting that they've got an angelic protection. Three little

angels. Yes, little cherubs, so it's a pleasing picture. Why have

people been interested in this story? I think partly because it

shows us how hard the human life of Jesus was. We think of him in a

kind of bubble of holiness, but no, he lived in a political world, and

here, he's a refugee, like many other people are. Well, thanks

again,siessy, for showing us these lovely paintings, and every time I

see the three wise men on a Christmas card, it will mean a bit

more to me. Thank you, Phil. Phil couldn't be

here tonight, but luckily our other fellow sportsman could, welcome Un

Certain Regard un. Tell us about a blast from the past. Superstars is

coming back, so the top 16 Olympians - mow Pharaoh, Nicola

Adams, all of our great sports men and women who were still fit -

that's key - this is people at the height of their fitness right now.

Lots of events they're not used to, thes like of kayaking, archery, the

dreaded gym test - it's worth to it see Mo in a kayak. Unlike archery...

He showed his everybody in there. He shows his nerve where it matters.

I doubt he trained for it. There was so much pressure. All the crowd

were watching. He above everybody kept his nerve. I can't tell you

who won overall. Come on. I can't. What about the Brownly brothers?

Casezy boys. The night before filming I turn up, they're off on a

15-mile run. Everybody is going, where is the bus? Take me back to

the hotel - he ran 12 miles to meet us at the bar. That's spirit of

superstars. Everybody wanted to win. Although they pretended it was a

bit of fun, "Oh, I have never done kayaking", as soon as the starters'

whistle went, everybody wanted to win. We decided to combine James's

obsession with planes and Superstars. Here's what happened.

There's our planes. James and I made ours. There's mine. It was

further than I thought. More of a dart than a plane. Did I show a

little bit of belly then? A little bit. Oh, no. Yours was better than

most occasion he tried. But look at this! It's still going!

APPLAUSE Hang on a minute! Well done, James.

Are you relieved, James? Yes. have a Paper Plane Superstars

trophy for you. Thank you. I have been working on it for 40 years,

but thank you. Wonderful. This is Milly, the ocelot keeping Melissa

top of Penovaen. Where is that? Wales. Whereabouts in Wales?

Somewhere. Back to the guys and gals in the

forces! APPLAUSE

This is Claire 20 metres underwater in Egypt.

When is Superstars on? Saturday the 29th on BBC One. That isn't your

last one, is it? No, that scares me that picture because I am going to

be in the sea in Exmouth. Live? every Christmas they run into the

water - in Speedos - I apologise, mum, for that, and I'll be cooking

for all the lifeguards as part of Gordon Ramsay's programme. Live on

Christmas Day? Yes. Happy Christmas. Nice to see you both. Thanks for

coming in. Dast David Morris, where will you be celebrating Christmas?

- wife Helen, my son and daughter. Any tips for whistling? High notes,

tongue high in the mouth, low notes, tongue down. Excellent. Thank you

for coming in. This is our last show before Christmas. So we'd like

to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Watch out for the One Show On Ice on Friday, 28th December at 7.30pm

on BBC One - basically Matt, Chris and I trying to stay upright whilst