23/02/2012 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The One Show, with Matt Baker. And Alex Jones. On

tonight's show, a couple who thanks to their travels around the British

coast are fast becoming our favourite seafarers. Well, apart

from that bloke who sells fish fingers! All because of moments

like this. We were beginning to get Blimey! I have done it a thousand

times. Timothy and Shane Spall! have been married for 30 years. Was

it all plain sailing? Every moment, every day! I still do stupid jokes

like that and she still manages occasionally to laugh.

Occasionally! Only if I'm ill. are getting like that. We are. We

found out last time that the Queen is a big fan of the show. She has

asked for some back copies. We thought it might be good for you to

lead the flotilla during Jubilee weekend. Any thoughts? Will Wyatt -

- we were asked to participate but Tim is working and we can't.

Unfortunately we can't go. I would not like to have stood up there

like some 15th century king. Somebody probably would have thrown

a brick at the! Club - at me. will talk a bit more about the

series later. Also this evening, we are celebrating the life of the

wonderful Frank Carson, who passed away yesterday. And we will talk to

young member of the production team on his very first TV show. Evening,

Gloria. His jokes have been retold everywhere today so we'd like to

hear your favourite car some one- liners. Send them to us if they are

crackers. -- Carson. Before that, second-hand cars. They can be our

most expensive possession after homes so getting the vehicle

checked out before you buy it seems like a good idea. There are plenty

of companies who offer the service, but there are some pot holes in the

system that can puncture your dreams. When we buy cars, the vast

majority buy second-hand. We spent �24 billion a year on second and

cars. You can never be sure that the car you want isn't hiding a

dirty secret. Even when you use the tools available to check everything

is in order, you can still get caught out. There are two key

things you can do to check a car. First get an independent inspection

to make sure everything is OK mechanically. Secondly you can

order a search of a car's history. Companies like HPI and experience

hold information that is pulled together from the DVLA, the police

and insurance databases. The searches cost around �20 and they

should reveal whether a car has been stalling, involved in an

accident or if there's outstanding finance. But when it comes to

history checks there's an alarming loophole in the system which could

leave event as savvy buyer in big trouble. -- even a savvy buyer.

Dean is a Sheffield steelworker who loves cars. When he spotted a car

he wanted to buy online, he met with the seller who showed him

paperwork to show at the Pru -- prove the car had a strong history.

The gentleman fetched me a report from the vehicle. It had been no

accidents, it hadn't been stolen, there was no outstanding finance.

The car came back clean. Nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Even

though the seller had put the cart through research with HPI, cautious

Dean called H P I to make sure it was valid. Once I had done that

check, I phoned the guy back and purchased the vehicle. Two weeks

after part exchanging the Audi Quattro for a total of �17,000, he

took it into his local Audi dealership for a service. They told

him there was I it's back -- outstanding finance owing on the

car in the region of 20,000 fans. They said they want the vehicle.

I've paid good money for it. They have offered for me to have the car

if I want it, but they want me to pay the outstanding finance, which

is over �20,000. If this began two years ago when somebody else bought

the Audi Quattro. That person to cut a finance agreement to pay for

the car, but they never paid it back. Then they got rid of the car

and most likely they pocketed the profit. That debt stays not with

the person that it out that agreement, but with the car. The

car history check that had been done before Dean bought the car

should have revealed this, but it didn't. Surprisingly, finance

companies don't have to bask information on to HPI and Experion.

It is voluntary. The major search companies to offer a guarantee as a

safety net to cover customers should the information they provide

be wrong. This will cover you up to the value of �30,000. Unfortunately

for Dean, your only eligible for this guarantee if you have paid for

the search yourself. As Dean was given the HPI check by the man Who

sold the car, he has been left without a safety net. It is a lot

of money to lose. I did not want to do that. I probably did more than

most people would do and I found myself still in this position.

what is the best way to avoid being left high and dry after you have

bought a car? It is a good idea to do research. But make sure it is a

search you have paid for yourself and that the company you used

offers a guaranteed because there's a risk that the crucial bit of

information you need may not be on the system.

Lucy is here with us. It is incredible, the length that Dean

went to and he still came a cropper. A we contacted all the parties

concerned to find out what went wrong. Experion told us they had

actually received information on the outstanding debt originally

from Audi finance, but due to an error, that is where the chain

ended. That was a problem. The good news is they have apologised to

Dean and they have agreed to clear the outstanding debt. Very good

news. He must have been overjoyed. I think she was delighted! And he

will be able to drive the car as well. That is very good. During the

film, Tim, you were saying you have bought 35 second hand cars. I am

getting on a bit! It is still a lot. About three a year. Do you go to

those lengths to double check? never used to but I do now. I have

lost my lunacy about cars. I did buy an odd... A you have changed to

boats! I did buy a car once, an old Rolls-Royce, and we were pulled up

outside our house and it caught fire. Saving my youngest daughter,

ran out screaming, saying it is a death trap! Get rid of it! I had to

get the fire extinguisher. I was very much Mr Toad. I bought every

wrong car. Thank you, Lucy. You have left your suitcase by the door.

You are fresh from the Isle of Mull. Very glamourous. I had a great

Horan. It looked like it. You were looking for somebody to start...

have found somebody. Now we need more. We have had a really

brilliance response. We have had hundreds of people and this is an

unbroken chain. We need somebody for each chain from the Malta the

Mall. We would like some more entrants from South Wales and

Northern Ireland. -- from the Mull. We are going from mal de the Mall.

We are not going to the south-west. Sorry to people in the south-west

but there are so many other things, 17 flagship against -- events you

can bake for story. More entrants please! As we found out last night,

David Black is the man kicking a top. As we mentioned at the top of

the show, we are celebrating a legendary comic, Frank Carson.

wanted to dig out some of his funniest moments from a career that

began in the 1960s and we were spoilt for choice. See me on the

telly? I've got the same jokes Fantastic! Was it something I said?

I walked into the supermarket and there was a lady filling the bottom

shells. I said, could you tell me whether baked beans are? She said

try the other side. I said could you tell us... It's the way I tell

'em! I know what you're thinking. Isn't he the spitting image of

Roger Moore? What about the Irishman struck by lightning who

thought he was having his photograph taken? It's a cracker! I

have the wife along with me, my wife talks through her nose. Her

mouth has worn out! I should have read Judith -- Reggie this letter

from my mother. She says, dear Frank, you've now been away for

three weeks and we thought you were still in the lavatory. I walk into

the railway station and get a ticket for jeopardy. She says

there's no such place. I said it must be, it must be, it's in the

paper, 2000 jobs in jeopardy. The Reverend gave me a lovely glass of

wine. Queued for strong wind. He said yes, the Pope drinks that. I

said no wonder they carry him about in a chair. I do hope I entertained

you. What an incredible film. You were part of the production team

for his very first TV show. It was 1959. What was the light back then?

Everything was light. From a production assistant's point of

view you are responsible for the music, Gaetjens, and the budget.

The budget for his front show -- first show, with lots of other

singers and dancers, was �100 for all of the on-screen talent. Pretty

much what we get these days, too! Watching that, we are so sad to

have lost him and yet because he was such an outward going, jolly,

full of life person, you have to celebrate that today. And he was

the master of the catchphrase. People think Bruce mastered that,

but when you think of it's a cracker, you hear people saying

that all over the place. It's the way I tell 'em, people always say

that. From that show, 1959, it was called come on, on,, on, on in. I

still say that when people come to the door. He was so full of life,

he filled the room. And he was unusually but did he was as

brilliant off as he was on. It was a joke a minute to the point of

exhaustion. You loved Frank but at the time you thought, my jaws have

to recover! The other interesting point about Northern Ireland at the

time, Frank was loved by everybody. He transcended all religions and he

also, I think, transcended the generations over the years. It was

good family stuff. Nothing smutty. He reinvented himself every so

often through television or through certain standard programs. He was a

mire as well. He was so pleased to be the Mayor of belt -- Balbriggan.

That is a very small town outside Dublin. You bypass it these days.

If you ring up he would say, hello it is the Mayor of Balbriggan, what

can I do for you? He was proud of that. Also wonderful for charity,

did a lot of charity work and exceptionally proud, because of his

background, of meeting the Pope. That was the one thing he would

tell you about. There's a great story when he went in. You know,

the priest... I said, I've got 17 minutes and Ronald Reagan only got

14! He was fabulous. He will be sadly missed. Earlier on we asked

you for your favourite Frank jokes. We have had a lot and we will read

some at the end. Thank you. You will be back to read some jokes

later. Tim and Jane would not be blamed if their least favourite

sign was a gale force storm. But for a lot of us this...

DRILL. It is one of the sounds we fear most. That has gone right

through the! It is a sad truth that many of us neglect our teeth. Simon

Boazman has been to Bangor in County Down to find out more.

Since the NHS began, we have been encouraged to be good to our teeth.

Yet more than half a century later, there are still parts of the UK

where children's teeth are rotting from preventable decade. We have

come to Northern Ireland to spend the day at the dentist and find out

So, Gemma has a few wee problems. Are a few holes in the teeth. A

little bit of decay here... This is the teeth we are taking out.

It is not pleasant to watch? No, it is horrible. It breaks your heart.

Children in Northern Ireland have the highest levels of tooth decay

in the UK. Nine-year-old nick ol has come to the dental practise

with her grandmother for fillings and extractions, but it is not her

first time. What happened to your teeth? They

started to rot and get sore and sensitive. I didn't know that fizzy

drinks damaged eenamel. We were not aware of that.

Did no-one teach you about dental hygiene when you were growing up?

No. Never. Did you think you were cleaning

your teeth properly? I was cleaning them, but not as much as I should.

Do you think that the parents failed? I think partly, but they

were not really aware. You think you are doing the right thing.

First it came out that apples were good, then it came out to find that

apples were full of acidity. Then it is back to yes, they are good.

The last major survey was done and found that half of five-year-olds

and 70% of 12-year-olds in Northern Ireland have some kind of dental

decay, but it is not just Northern Ireland's children that have

problems with their teeth. That survey found one in eight adults

had no natural teeth and two thirds of adults with teeth have gum

disease. So, have things improved? Right, a wee filling today. We will

pop a wee tooth out. How badly decayed is it? This tooth

here is badly decayed, so we are popping this out. So, it is nice

and wobbly and a couple of wee roots to pop out.

This is all of the decay here and there? We have a woo hole at the

front and the back of. This -- Wee.

Nicole's problems have been caused by a combination of sugary diet and

fizzy drinks, one tooth was so decayed it almost fell out.

When you see Nicole going through that, how do you feel? It is awful.

You would rather be there yourself. Peter Crooks believes that the

dental problems in Northern Ireland are severe.

It is a serious problem. In comparison to the rest of the

United Kingdom, there would be two- and-a-half times mordental decay in

a 12-year-old's mouth in Northern Ireland's, than if a 12-year-old

was living in England. So why is there a big problem here?

So many issues that impact on it. Social deprivation is a big factor

in oral disease. So in those areas there would be more money spent on

sugary snacks and drinks and there are less people brushing their

teeth in socially depriveded areas, than in areas where the dental

shelt better. The Department of Health in

Northern Ireland say that they are being pro-active. They say that

between 2005 and 2010, the number of fillings that children have had

has fallen by 27%. All things have improved, dentists here believe

that much more should be done. I really am frustrated. That is why

we offer to go to schools. We get children registered who had have

never been registered before. Their families come and get registered.

Getting the children into the dentist's chair is half of the

battle. Then they can teach them to look after their teeth.

The best way to do this is to cut out sugary drinks. Then to learn

how to clean them properly. So get all of the surfaces on the top and

in all corners of the mouth. Regular trips to the dentist have

changed attitudes in Nicole's family.

Now that I am aware, I am still here for the inspections, but

hopefully no work. Well, if ever there was an advert

for eating healthily and brushing, that was it! It was interesting,

you were wa watching that saying there is is a bacon sandwich out of

that. Tim, you are classed as an A-Lister,

would you go for the Hollywood smile? I think that people are used

to my awful teeth. I will not show you, it is the way that they are.

There are people that go for it with the veneers, but I have had

the same gnashers. She is used to them.

Some look strange with the big white teeth.

Yes! Especially with a 17th century drama and you smile and it is

like... You are right. The third series is out now of you chartering

your adventures around the British coast, before we chat about it,

let's have a look. It might not look like it right now,

but we are on the trip of a lifetime. Travelling around the

British Isles, this is supposed to be fun! Oh, no! We are going to hit

it! OK. OK. It's OK. No, we're not. Oh, God. We're in! APPLAUSE.

You were saying there, it was horrible m you nearly did not make

it? We nearly didn't. We were almost smashed to smithereens.

We could have ended up on the rocks. When you had the barge you were

doing voyages inland, what made you venture into the sea? We spent our

first summer on the Thames. Tim got itchy feet. He insisted to go out

to sea. So it is his idea? It is all of his

fault! It is called a leap of lunacy.

Tim, you have written a book? Shane, sorry, you have written a book?

have. He was showing off in 199 when he

got leukaemia. He almost died, in a nut shell. When I said he was

better, we would get a Rolls-Royce, that broke down, then we got the

boat. That is what my book is about. It is not just about the journey

around England, it is about our journey, b, about Tim getting

better, it's about our children, our family, our life.

Was it difficult for you? Well the only thing that kept me sane was to

tap away on the laptop. He thought I was writing my dissertation, but

I was writing the book. She was logging my demise! It was

only when you read the book that you realise what Shane had written?

When you share a thing like a serious illness, I knew that the

one thing I could not bare, I could bare the treatment, the horror, but

I couldn't bare what my wife, my family and kids were going through.

So we protected each other from what we were feeling but we knew we

were in it together. Absolutely knew. When I read, what he is had

written, this thing, I read it again this morning it is hard to

take. The only unbearable thing was what they were going through. What

she was going through, what they were going through, but the,

Shane's book is a celebration of nearly not making it, nearly not

getting there an then, what happens when you do... You go out there!

And making the most of every moment. Every day it is a celebration.

Well, you have certainly done that on your trip and you have been

through a lot together on your voyage, including being rescued of

the -- by the RNLI, the hemsman of that ship, Nicki Woods.

You tell us what happened on that night you were called out? We were

in the boat house on a training exercise. We heard Tim on the radio,

saying he was lost. That they were on the river Medway. The coastguard

called the lifeboats and we found Tim and shaken. Thank goodness.

But it was three hours before you rang them? Well, we got there. It

was an hour. I kept saying "no, no, no, "".

he kept saying it was fine, then I said call the coastguard! We had

come from Essex. It was the end of six months of me trying to pretend

that I knew what I was doing. Then I got to a place that I thought I

knew and my head cracked och, all of the -- cracked open and all of

the marbles fell out. But Nicki, God bless her.

What wonderful work you do. You can catch Tim and Shane in action next

Tuesday on BBC Four All At Sea. Shane's book, The Voyages of the

Princess Matilda is out in March. Now, think of water and think of

Gareth Hock, now, we have lots of Here is Alex Riley with more.

Well, hopefully winter will soon be hind us and spring will be here.

Maybe your thoughts are turning to spruegs up the garden. You may be

getting plants or nice new garden furniture. Or how about a modest

water feature? This is the largest city centre water feature in the UK.

It's is six-acre site, boosting a 100-foot fountain and a walkway

that gives the impression of walking on water. Other fountains

include the Bellagio and the trevyi Fountain in Rome.

-- Trevi, but this fountain in Bradford has not come cheap, � 24

million. Why is this value for money? This money was committed

several years ago before the cuts hit Bradford. The plan is that the

long-term bin fits to Bradford, bringing in new businesses, new

jobs, creating wealth and enterprise in Bradford is going to

pay back the investment that the council and other agencies have

made. So, what is the view of Tom Walker,

one the men that designed the project? We have a series of cam

ras and laser it is goes into a painful mode where it reacts to the

people walking through the space and turning it into a playground.

It can be a quieter, reflective piece it will reflect the sky and

the amazing Town Hall. We estimate that the space can take up to

10,000, the water can drain away completely and it can have any

event here in that way that we can design it that people can interact

with it, get wet with it, and enjoy When the sun goes down and the

lights come on, something special happens in Bradford city centre.

Nice, but is it enough to convince the people of Bradford that this is

money well spent? It would give job opportunities with the people that

it brings here. It is impressive, but they need to bring in more help

to smaller businesses, we are struggling. Bradford is beautiful

as it is. It looks pretty, but it does not

serve a purpose. It is a lot of money, but sometimes you have to

spend it to get rewards from it. The Bellagio of the north! Tim, you

saw it being built? We did, at the Bradford Film Festival. Yes. The

Bradford is the new LA of the north. Gloria Hunniford is back with us.

The jokes have been pouring in. I have to do it in Frank's accent. A

man says to the doctor, what is the good news. He says you have 24

hours to live. He asks what is the bad news. The doctor says, we

should have told you yesterday. . If you were on the lavy, would

you miss me? I can't say if you would be missed but I still love

you. A man walk noose a cafe to ask for

a quick sandwich. The man replies, make me a crocodile sandwich and

make it snappy. We have lovely pictures of you with

Frank. This is Amy and Arthur meeting Frank. This is Jenny.