23/04/2013 The One Show

$:/STARTFEED. Hello and welcome to the One Show. Happy St George's Day.

If our guest tonight was asked to slay the dragon, she would rely on

her extreme cunning and killer turn of phrase, rather than her sheer

size. She is five foot of dazzling brain and comic brilliance. It's

sandy tocks Vic -- Sandi Toksvig. St George was foreign. He was

Palestinian. Of course. Kind of an odd choice for an English saint.

Are you dressed for it? It's Shakespeare's birthday, which has a

deep place in my heart. He died on the same day that he was born. Do

you know why? Why? He liked a few. Overindulgence. He would have been

449 today. He probably would have had a drink to celebrate. Maybe

you'll have one tomorrow, because we hear news that you've got an

award coming? Yes, it's very nice, isn't it? Wonderful. It's called

The Voice Of the Viewer and Listener.

APPLAUSE Sandi is here to talk about the new

series of her quiz show, so we are getting into the mood. Tonight, if

you've ever been on a TV quiz we want to see your pictures to prove

it. You with the cheesey grin, arm an Bob Holness. Tell us the

question you didn't get right. We'll not ask the one. Nobody has

asked you that one. Before, all that, at this time of year, the

battle for primary school places can turn mild-mannered parents into

wild-eyed animals. It's not an easy job giving everyone their school of

their choice and with a population boom it's getting harder and harder.

You'll get an e-mail today. It's just gone 9am in Bristol council's

school admissions office and the phones are ringing non-stop.

Parents will find out what primary school their child will be going to

and no everyone's totally happy. You didn't get one. You are saying

if you moved closer. You can exercise your right of appeal if

you like. You will need to show you that you do own that property or

you do have a tenancy agreement. Many local authorities are

struggling to accommodate the children needing places this year.

It's down to a sharp increase in the birth rate five years ago. In

Bristol this year, nearly 5500 children applied for places. Almost

1,400 more than five years ago. How will they fit them all in? Mum of

three here is one of those parents, anxious to see what awaits her

four-year-old son, Martin. He's the first of her children to go to

school and like all her friends, she is desperate to get her number

one choice. For us it's a nice school we could really like and the

school that is further away and not got such a good reputation and that

would make life more difficult. you understand that the council, if

they physically haven't got the space, they have to allocate spaces

somewhere? We understand their point of view, but the disruption

to our children and working parents is absolutely massive. We consider

it a fundamental right for every child to go within walking distance.

While Martin plays, he's unaware of the all-important choice which is

about to be made for him. His mum and all other parents filled in a

school application form, stating their preferred schools in order.

By law, all children have to be offered a place, but there's no

guarantee it would be one of their preferred choices and that's when

the phones start ringing. We get a lot of the same stories. Just about

how emotionally involved they are with the school and how

disappointed the child is that they haven't got to that school. What

are you doing about this? We are some modular classrooms and we are

taking older buildings and converting them into school spaces

and sometimes we can do the traditional build an extension on

to a school. Across the country, by this autumn, 600,000, I hope you're

paying attention, children will be enterg reception, but by 2014 --

entering reception, but by 2014, an extra 220,000 are set to join them.

Whatever happens, schools and local authorities need to start thinking

fast how they will be secured a place. St John's primary in the

Clifton area of Bristol has been ranked as outstanding, so not

surprising it's in demand, but not everyone can get in. The intake of

this school was 45 pupils and then last year it came close to bursting

when they took on an extra 30. So, now, every year they need to find

space for 775 pupils. How will they -- 75 pupils. How will they do

that? This is the job for the police. Or rather a police station.

From September, the school will have a second site. In the old

police station. Deputy head, Ali took me to see the station, which

is a four-minute walk from the school. It's on the other side of a

busy main road but a crossing is going in and pavements will be

widened by September. You've turned a police station in a school?

we have. And right now, you are standing in the cells. This is

where they'll have detention, is it? This is going to be our library

and as you can see, we are trying to retain many of the features.

Brilliant idea. It's a building site? It is, but it will be

finished. When this is at full capacity how many extra will you

have? 210 children from this local area. Are you excited about it?

Very. It's amazing. It's a very creative project to turn what was a

disused building into an exciting school. While expanding schools can

happen pretty quickly, creating new schools is much more difficult,

because of the lengthy approval process. Local councils are bidding

for a share of �1 billion worth of Government cash, which is being

used to help create further schools places in problem areas. Meanwhile,

for this family, the news is finally in. It's the local one.

First choice? First choice. It's a lovely school and it would be a

great experience for children. Martin is one of the lucky ones.

Bristol managed to offered 87% of applicants their first choice, but

it leaves almost 700 children and parents disappointed with where

they'll be going in September. It can be very, very difficult and

tense times. We found that our daughter has got into the local

school, so we are happy. She has an elder sibling. That helps a little.

Very alarming statistics there. Apart from the long, winter nights,

what else can we put the boom in population down to?

LAUGHTER That is a nice way of putting it.

Basically, more babies are born than people are dying. Women - we

have more women of child-bearing age living now and women having

babies in later life, but we've had a population increase, so the last

census was 2001 and then 2011. It's the largest increase of 3.7 million

people since records began. A lot. Half of that is down to immigration.

A quarter of all babies born from 2010 to 2011 are born to women who

weren't born in either England and Wales, so lots of bilingual babies.

You said in the film we'll need 250,000 more places. The question

is, is the Government doing enough to cope with the dramatic rise?

Well, they increased places by 80,000 from 2010 to 2011. By

September they will have an extra 110,000 places. Big figures. You

are right, they need the extra 250,000. They've put forward �5

billion to build new schools and find new developments, to increase

sizes, but schools are at capacity. A fifth of all primary schools are

at full. Isn't there a cap on the size, because you might cram more

kids in? You don't want more than 31. You are right, any more than

that, how will the teachers cope? The fact is we need these places.

The Government is putting the money forward. We will see how they will

develop the new schools in the future, but chances are if you have

a derelict pub near you, maybe it will be a school and if you fancy

becoming a teacher, I would say now is a good time to start applying.

One of the ways as well, people with a bit more income will be able

to buy their way into a catchment area. There is a lot of renting

that goes on. People leave homes. We see that happening a lot.

that the situation right across the UK it's more city areas? Totally

and London is the big problem area. 250,000, 40% of that is within the

London area, so this is the main problem, but beyond that,

Manchester, Cardiff, you saw there Bristol. Interestingly, Scotland

not so much and Northern Ireland has the other way. The problem is

the other way, where they need to fill places. Maybe that's where

people could move. Yes, but we don't want to export our children.

We don't! Thank you for that. We are moving to the opposite end to

the age spectrum, because by the time you've reached 100 you've

flown death-defying missions over enemy lines and had a couple of

grand kids, then there is nothing to surprise you, but the family of

Bomber Command Eric Clarke have got something special. I'm here in

Doncaster to join in the 100th birthday celebrations of Eric

Clarke, a veteran of bomber Church of Scotland in the Second World War.

He'll be joined by friends, family and former colleagues and there are

a few very special surprises in store for Eric. From 1940 until the

end of the war, Eric Clarke served in RAF Bomber Command, undertaking

one of the most dangerous tasks of any British servicemen in the war.

How did it feel taking those incredible risks day after day?

suppose it's human nature being what it is you say, "Hear we are d

here we are, fingers crosses." Something like that. Frightening,

but it's one of those things. We were tried to do it and here you

are you just do it. Do you feel like a hero? No, I'm a very, very

lucky survivor. I did not want to go to war. But we had to go to war.

We were fighting forure existence. 55,000 Bomber Command crew died

during the war. That's almost half. The average age was 22. The average

lifespan during active service was just seven to eight weeks. It was

incredibly risky and it's a miracle that Eric managed to survive the

entire war. How special a day is this going to be for Eric?

Incredibly special. He knows he's coming here, but he doesn't know

he'll be awarded the Bomber Command Clasp? What is it? At the end of

the war, because of the damage across Germany, it became

politically unacceptable to rise the courage of the Command, so for

a very long time their service was simply not recognised. The world we

live in was shaped largely by people like Eric. This one Eric is

yours. APPLAUSE

Very proud. It's really fantastic. It's surpassed anything I imagined.

He talks a lot about the respect that people give him. So, yeah,

he's very, very pleased. I feel really honoured to have him here

and be here with him to celebrate his birthday. It's a really big

inspiration to me and many other people. He's an inspiration to

everybody. Very popular with everybody, particularly with the

ladies. He will tip his hat to you and things like that, when he

speaks to you. He'll open the door for you. You don't get that now, do

you? But there's one more surprise in store for Eric. A fly-past by a

Lancaster Bomber, the very same What kind of a birthday has it been

for you today? It has been a wonderful birthday. I am grateful

that I have been able to be part of The Eric is going to sleep well

tonight. You just have so much respect for somebody like that. I

met a woman in her 90s recently, and it was her job in the war to

transport Spitfires to where they needed to be. You forget about

those women as well. There are lots of legendary stories about my

rather fierce English grand mother. Every single house in their street

was bombed except hers, and it was always said in the family, it was

because she was not allow it. -- she would not allow it. Hopefully,

these are things which will be passed on to the younger generation,

stories which have to be told. Speaking of things we should know,

you are back with a brand new series of 1001 Things You Should

Know on Channel 4. What examples would you give? For example, in pop

music, I would say, I think you Of Adele's debut album. As a

follow-up question, I my ask you, what is her surname? The idea is,

you get no money for the thing that you should know, but you get some

money for the extra one. And there is quite a lot of money at stake.

The pot grows and what have you... We have had people win money in the

area of �10,000. It can be life changing money. The questions are

never easy unless you know the answer. We have got a brilliant

example of that. What term for a wealthy person is also a type of

shortbread? No, not coming. Rich tea. Incorrect, I'm afraid. Does

anybody in the audience know the answer to that? I'm sure they have

been briefed. I learnt in geography about oxbow lakes at school, and

there was in the quiet carriage on a train a couple of months ago, and

I suddenly stood up when we were going through the countryside and

shouted, oxbow lake! I had never seen one before. And people can win

�10,000 based on one question. there one kind of stand-out,

ridiculous, obvious thing that nobody could ever come up with?

There was one person, and there was asking about a furspig. And the

second person asked me exactly the same as the first person had asked.

I said, on the grounds that the first person was wrong, probably

not. And you were one of the first people on Have I Got News For You?

I think Orville is the key, because all four are being worked by

somebody. I think the interesting thing was the Hackett. They did two

pilots, one with Angus Dayton as the host, and one with me as the

host. They said, we really like you, but we cannot possibly have a woman

in charge of the news. It was more than 20 years ago. So perhaps

things would have been different now. You have had such an eclectic

career. Are you writing a musical? I am. I have finished another book,

and I have been commissioned to write a musical about the legendary

Dusty Springfield. And the house is resounding with music. Are you a

passionate music-lover? absolutely love musicals. I was

asked to write a play for the West End last year, and they came to see

that, and they thought I might be the person to do her life story. I

finally managed to make up with the person I am working with on the

producing side, and as we sat down to dinner, we realised it was Dusty

Springfield's birthday. You and birthdays are! I know, and

Shakespeare's birthday as well! said that books can teach you

everything. Well, Angellica Bell has got the story of one very

important book for quizmasters. Back in the 1960s, Ask The Family

was one of the most popular quiz shows on TV. But today, you would

be expected to know something very different. In the kitchen, vessels

known for cookery -- used for cookery are often known as pots and

what? What has happened to our general knowledge in the last 50

years? Should we care? My general knowledge is about to be put to the

test using this, which was first published in 1956, aimed at 10-

year-old to 15-year-olds. Will I know end of the answers? It was

popular with schoolchildren in the 1950s and 1960s. New additions were

printed every few years. My inquisitor today is a quiz show

tighten, who has competed on Mastermind, Who Wants To Be A

Millionaire?, as well as being one of the BBC's Eggheads. What metals

go to make up glass and Brawns? Copper? I don't know you were right

about the copper, anyway. What great man sailed in Santa Maria?

Christopher Columbus came into my head. Spot on, well done. What

would you be interested in if you talked about a snaffle. I don't

know. It is a small bit used in riding. Do you think 50 years ago,

young people would have known the answers to those questions? I think

so, but more due to the fact that this was the kind of thing they

were learning in school at the time. Back in the 1950s, general

knowledge was considered very important, which paid off if you

found yourself on a quiz show. you think we do not care about

general knowledge now? Actually, I do. It is critically important,

because a good general knowledge and which is your life. Today, with

the Internet, we have instant access to information. But it has

affected our ability to remember facts. Researchers at Columbia

University carried out a series of experiments revealing that when

participants knew they could turn to the Internet for information,

they did not bother to memorise it. American research tells us that

people have, in a way, stopped trying to remember things, and they

are using search engines as an extension to their memory. We can

apply the information and use it in better ways. It is actually making

us more clever than we used to be. But that inability to remember did

not help this lot. What is three- quarters of 44? 11. What is the

process of selecting and employing actors to play in a particular

production? Chorus. Casting. But what does this man think is the key

to good general knowledge? It is curiosity. If you are interested in

something, you will learn about it, it will not be a chore, it will be

a pleasure. But what about the people on the street? The Divine

Comedy was written by who? No idea. Who painted the little street?

not have a clue. How many cards does each player have in the game

of bridge? No idea. What well-known colour is this shade? I thought it

was red. Who painted the Birth of Venus? Botticelli? I knew you were

going to go with that! We may have become better at accessing

information online, but for some of us, it will never stop the thrill

of getting something right by using what is up here, and not in here.

Sandi has told us all about the things that we should know, but how

much does she know? Let's have some tension, please. Here we go. Four

categories for you. Here's a twist - the questions all come from old

TV quizzes, and you get to choose which quiz your question comes from.

And you are not just playing for your self-respect, because we know

you love liquorice. And our Department has fashioned your face

out of liquorice. It is like looking in a mirror! Are you ready?

Yes! Basically, if you look at this big screen, we have got four

categories, there they are, and you have to choose from them. History

first, and you can choose from The Weakest Link in 2000 or Every

Second Counts from 1990. In ancient history, how many Punic wars were

fought in the second and third century BC? It was at least two, I

am going to say two. It was three! Carry on. Does that mean I only get

a bit of the face? Yes, we will take the mouth off. The next

category is food and drink. You can go for Ask The Family from 1974 or

Mastermind. Let's go for Ask The Family. What dish may be said to be

a cavity pretending to be an amphibian? I am going to say toad-

in-the-hole. Yes! We can put the myself back on now. Moving on to

the third round, it is music. Would you like Going For Gold, 1985, or

Bob's Full House? Off you go... the musical Pink no, Wagon, what

did they call the wind? Mariah. I laughed at Bob Monkhouse, he was an

absolute genius. The last category is animals. Do you want a question

from 1994, Pets Win Prizes, or University Challenge? I will go for

Pets Win Prizes. How many toes doesn't mean you have a niche but?

I am going to say three. -- how many toes does an emu have on each

foot? And I was once attacked by one live on children's television.

That's why I know. It came at me! Can I take all of it? So, we asked

for pictures of you encore shows. This was from Rebecca, was on Block

Busters in 1988. Bob Holness, a brilliant man. Much missed. This

was someone who appeared in the 1980s on Countdown. Look at this,

this one won a hamper on Child's Play. I think that is Sarah Greene,

yes. That is all we have got time for tonight. Lovely to have you

with us, Sandi. Always a pleasure. 1001 Things You Should Know is on