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This programme contains some strong language. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
Tonight, a Review Show special. Glasgow's most famous son. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
Hang on, I'll be down in a minute. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:10 | |
His trademark hair and beard, along with some bold wardrobe choices, | 0:00:10 | 0:00:14 | |
make Billy Connolly one of the most distinctive figures in comedy. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
# Road to Arran... # | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
Widely acknowledged by his peers | 0:00:22 | 0:00:24 | |
as the godfather of alternative comedy... | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
I swear, you know... | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
I swear? Oh, that's news, Billy(!) | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
..his natural and assured delivery have been making audiences laugh | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
for almost 40 years. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
He's always shopping people. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
Who broke the window? HIM! | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
A THUG! He'll come to nothing! | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
As he approached his 70th birthday, | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
I met the Big Yin to talk about his latest foray into acting | 0:00:46 | 0:00:50 | |
in Dustin Hoffman's directorial debut, Quartet... | 0:00:50 | 0:00:54 | |
Why is it, Wilfred, I always get the impression you're up to no good? | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
Because I'm normally up to no good. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
..his troubled relationship with his father... | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
It's a very odd affair, you know, sexual abuse. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
Mine is very, very typical. You don't tell anybody about it. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:10 | |
..his hedonistic youth... | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
Asking for the wine list at breakfast has a certain cache, I think. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
..and flirting with Dame Judi Dench. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
And I thought, "God, she fancies me. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:22 | |
"Judi Dench fancies coming on to me." | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
Primarily the reason we're here is to talk about first of all, Quartet, | 0:01:25 | 0:01:29 | |
so tell me, how did Dustin Hoffman sell it to you? | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
It was the weirdest thing because he had been my pal for a while. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:38 | |
We used to do these dinners for multiple sclerosis. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
Very starry affairs. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
I would do a bit of comedy | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
and there would be all sorts of rock stars doing odds and ends. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:50 | |
And Dustin was always in the audience. He always liked my stuff. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
He always pulled me over to tell me how good it was | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
and then he started showing up at my concerts. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
My agent, Kier, called me up and said, "Dustin wants to speak to you." | 0:02:00 | 0:02:05 | |
Then he started to speak about an old folks home with opera singers in it, | 0:02:05 | 0:02:09 | |
and I thought, "What?" | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
And then he read me the cast list. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
We have a serious problem. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:16 | |
We can't make the gala into the hottest ticket in town. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
This house could collapse. We could lose it. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
We have four of the finest singers in English operatic history. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
I don't think I want to sing with Jean again. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
They were married once but it didn't work out. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
-We were different people then. -I have a brilliant idea. -What is it? | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
I can't remember. What is it? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
I thought, "Oh, my God." I was scared to do it. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
But I fell back on my Judi Dench experience which was delightful. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:42 | |
It's the most delightful thing | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
when you're confronted with a Judi Dench or a Maggie Smith. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:49 | |
It brings out the best in you. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
-Did you show off? -No, I didn't, but you do rise to the fly. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:57 | |
You can't stand waving your arms around like you're in a soap. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
You can't go, "Why?" and stuff like that | 0:03:01 | 0:03:05 | |
so you have to sort of be. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
I remember during Mrs Brown | 0:03:07 | 0:03:12 | |
there was a section of it... | 0:03:12 | 0:03:13 | |
We were doing the eighths of reel and she was facing me, Judi Dench. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:18 | |
I was opposite her getting ready to jig and I thought, | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
"God, she fancies me! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
"Judi Dench fancies coming on to me. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
"What am I going to do? My God, what am I going to do?" | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
And then it dawned on me, you know, it's that real stuff, | 0:03:30 | 0:03:35 | |
real acting, | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
so I started fancying her back. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
Which is not the most difficult thing on earth. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
-You never had any actor training? -None whatsoever. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
-I'd never seen a play. -But now, you've never since had any training? | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
No, it's too late now. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
The only thing I envy is, like, you know, you'll hear... | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
Method acting. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
You hear them saying, "I was preparing for the character." | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
I don't know what they're doing. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
I don't know if they're doing press-ups or running about naked | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
shouting poetry at the tops of their voices. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
I don't know what they're doing. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
So I just learn my words and avoid the furniture. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Why is it, Wilfred, I always get the impression you're up to no good? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Because I'm normally up to no good and, please, call me Wilf. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:35 | |
You've done this, remember. You don't have a button hole, Wilf. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:38 | |
Why do you persist in flirting with me, Wilf? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
Because you're a cracker, a thing of beauty. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
You're not a bimbo or a chick or any of those awful things. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
You're one of that rarest of species. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
You're a woman, Lucy Colgan. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
Early on, you took your first steps into acting | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
and they were in quintessentially hard Glasgow plays. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
-Yeah. -Elephants' Graveyard and Just Another Saturday. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
Yeah, Just Another Saturday was first. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
He comes right up to my bairn and introduces himself | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
and he says to me, "Mr McNab, it's been a pleasure working with you." | 0:05:09 | 0:05:13 | |
Empty! Empty! Empty! | 0:05:13 | 0:05:17 | |
What is it, for Christ's sake? | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
Empty! Mair drink, ya clown. Three halves and three pints. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
-Any more of that, son, and you're out on your arse. -Aye, very good. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
It's a big heider, that, talking away there like a big lassie. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
I was very near planting him one. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
You inhabited that world, in a way, or you knew that world. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
Did it make it easier to take the step from comedy into drama? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
It was the funniest thing. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
Peter MacDougal who wrote it had become my friend about six weeks | 0:05:39 | 0:05:44 | |
before the play was done on television and we were very close. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:48 | |
We were like lovers. I would pick up the phone and he'd be on. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:52 | |
You know that way when you're in love these things happen? | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
We'd become very close friends. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
He was my new pal and we met and he said, | 0:05:57 | 0:06:01 | |
"Listen, I don't know how to put this, | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
"but I think I've written you in this. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
"Have you ever acted before?" And I said, "No." | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
He said, "Cos I think I've written you in this thing, | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
"Just Another Saturday. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
"Would you have a go at it?" | 0:06:16 | 0:06:17 | |
And I said, "Aye, sure". We had a wee rehearsal and it seemed OK | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
and off we went and it was as easy as that. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
Does that mean you've never really been daunted then? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
You went on to Elephants' Graveyard next so that gave you | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
a really good grounding. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:30 | |
Yeah, and I had been in a live one, Clydeside, | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
about the Red Clyde with Matt McGinn. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:37 | |
I was supposed to be just doing music. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
That's where I learned first of all. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:44 | |
I was in the pub, the Scotia, and the director, Keith Darvell, came in | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
and he heard me playing the banjo and he said, | 0:06:47 | 0:06:50 | |
"I'm doing a play about the Clyde. Would you come and play your banjo?" | 0:06:50 | 0:06:55 | |
I said, "Is it for the actors and all that? | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
"I'd love to but I'm not very good at music, the theory and all that, | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
"but my mate is, Tom Harvey." | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
# The teacher tells your ma you've been swearing. # | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
We weren't the Humblebums yet. That happened second. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:11 | |
I said, "He knows how to establish the keys people sing in and that." | 0:07:11 | 0:07:15 | |
He said, "Bring him as well." And we went along. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
It was great. And then we were sitting watching the play | 0:07:18 | 0:07:22 | |
and I was enjoying it immensely. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:23 | |
I'd never seen a play before. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
I was in the first play I ever saw. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
I'm sitting on the stage. We had a wee area, you know. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
They were all acting away, and then our cue came in. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:37 | |
I was totally unaware of this, and the director said, "Well?" | 0:07:37 | 0:07:41 | |
And I said, "Very good." I thought he was asking my opinion. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:46 | |
He said, "Some music would be nice." | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
And I said, "Sure, what would you like? That one would be good. OK." | 0:07:48 | 0:07:53 | |
-He had to explain to me. -The cues. -When he says that, you start to play. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:59 | |
Ooh, right, that's good. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:00 | |
I came in the following day and I had bits of tape stuck on the pages. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
I said, "I have this idea. When the cue comes up I'll know I've got this | 0:08:04 | 0:08:09 | |
"tape sticking out of the page there and I'll know where the cue is." | 0:08:09 | 0:08:13 | |
He said, "Don't tell the others. They'll all be wanting to copy you." | 0:08:13 | 0:08:17 | |
-Let's have a toast to our quartet. -To the quartet. -What quartet? | 0:08:18 | 0:08:23 | |
Cedric wants us all to sing in the gala concert. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
Us to sing? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:28 | |
-He wants us to sing the quartet from Rigoletto. -Such an honour. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:33 | |
Tell me, were you always going to be the lynchpin because | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
you ended up really being this centrifugal force in the film? | 0:08:36 | 0:08:40 | |
Well, the weirdest thing happened. Dustin's very free. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:44 | |
He'll say, "Just say what you like." | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
There's a lovely bit when I'm playing croquet, | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
or there's people playing croquet, and I come walking past, | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
and we have a smartarsed remark at one another. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
There's a big long walk I have to do after that and he said, | 0:08:58 | 0:09:03 | |
"Say something in there." | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
So the guy makes a funny remark about having seen me in an opera | 0:09:06 | 0:09:10 | |
and his ears were bleeding. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:11 | |
And I said, "Yeah, I saw your Carmen. I'll never forget it, but I'll try." | 0:09:11 | 0:09:16 | |
And that was just ad-lib and it was one take in the can. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:21 | |
So your part ended up being bigger than was originally planned? | 0:09:21 | 0:09:25 | |
Yeah, but I'll tell you the best thing. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
There was a bit where Michael Gambon attacks Cissy. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:32 | |
Sorry, I missed that last bit, Cedric. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
-CEEdric. -Oh, CEEdric, of course, of course. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
Now that Jean is here and the four of you are together again, | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
I put to you that you should perform at the gala, | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
the Quartet from Rigoletto. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
That's amazing. I've just been listening to us, the Rigoletto. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:51 | |
And he says, "Put up your hand when you're going to speak to me. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
"Raise your hand like this." | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
And I cross the room and say, "Don't you put your hand up for anybody." | 0:09:55 | 0:10:00 | |
-Put your hand up. -Put your hand up? | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
You must change her mind. She's a huge draw. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
Don't you put your hand up for anybody. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
It would be as if Maria Callas were making a comeback. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
That wasn't in the script. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
I just defended her and then I started to do it all the time. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:15 | |
I became her defender and it made me two-dimensional | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
because, before that, I was just a dirty old man | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
and I was getting kind of fed up with it. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
My hair's changing colour. I've got the winter plumage on now. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
But, at the back, it's gone a kind of Turkish hooker blond... | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:31 | 0:10:32 | |
..which I must say suits me down to the ground. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
My nose hair is accelerating for reasons best known to itself. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
I used to cut it once every 30 years. Now it's like twice a month. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:48 | |
I presume the body knows what it's doing. I'm very baffled. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
I wonder what's going to happen to me | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
that's going to need long nasal hair to deal with it. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
-You are going to be 70 soon. Did you ever think you'd get to 70? -No. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:06 | |
You seriously didn't think you would get there? | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
I didn't think I would get to 50. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
The queerest thing is I was quite looking forward to it as well. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:14 | |
-What, dying? -Yeah. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
-Burning out. -Really? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
Yeah. Boom! | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
-That kind of James Dean thing? -Like a firework. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
It's a romantic, stupid, self-indulgent notion | 0:11:24 | 0:11:28 | |
but I always thought I would explode, you know. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
-But you were on the way there, weren't you? -Yes. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
You went for it big style. You went for it with brandy, wine, cocaine. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:39 | |
-Wine for breakfast. -Yes. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
Asking for the wine list at breakfast has a certain cache, I think. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:46 | |
Better than asking for Buckfast. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:49 | |
-I never drank Buckfast. -Thank the Lord for that. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:53 | |
-I did drink Vordeaux. -What's Vordeaux? | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
-That was the pre-Buckfast Buckfast. -Vordeaux? -Yeah. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:59 | |
I just want to show you something. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
This is from something you made a long time ago. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:05 | |
This must be the only country on Earth | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
where men brag about their hangovers. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
Oh, I remember doing this. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
'Only Scots brag about their hangovers.' | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
And drinking in Scotland is an essentially male pastime. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:22 | |
Men bring their wives and girlfriends into lounge bars such as this, | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
'but in there it is essentially a male bastion. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:29 | |
'Drinking is a Scottish hobby.' | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
Probably because we invented the best drink of them all, whiskey. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:36 | |
Oh, there's my da. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:39 | |
The thing was, when that was going on, | 0:12:43 | 0:12:48 | |
you embraced the excess then. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
Yes. It was great fun. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:55 | |
I had the time of my life. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
I had funny wee rules for myself. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
I never performed drunk. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
-So you could hold off? -Yeah, and I was horrified by people who did it. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
I remember in Edinburgh, a guy, I won't mention his name. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
He was in my dressing room. I was going on at the Playhouse. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
I had a lot of drink on the table for afterwards | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
and he said, "Are you not having a large one before you go on?" | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
And I said, "My God, no." I wouldn't drink the whole day before. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:26 | |
So you didn't need Dutch courage to go on stage | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
but you needed Dutch courage for the rest of you life? | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
That's right. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
Also, in that... | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
I never thought about it like that before. It's quite right, yeah. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
In that culture there, you preferred to drink with men | 0:13:38 | 0:13:42 | |
or was there no option? | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
Well, there was pretty much no option. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:48 | |
I've got a fondness for women | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
but in the drinking situation, | 0:13:50 | 0:13:53 | |
the pubs weren't very womany. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:54 | |
They changed very soon after that. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
Loads of Glasgow pubs women just wouldn't have got into. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
They did it with the toilets. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
They wouldn't put a ladies toilet in so women would come in for a while | 0:14:02 | 0:14:06 | |
and then they'd have to pee and they'd leave. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
-And that would be it. Tennents in Byers Road. -Yes. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:12 | |
British Rail specialises in that one. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
Go into the toilet, lock the door. Oh, for Christ's... | 0:14:16 | 0:14:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
A wee jobbie. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
A wee, beige jobbie. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
You flush and flush with all your might. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
Your first step changing in your career came | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
when Michael Parkinson took a risk. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
Let's just play this. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:49 | |
This young man is one of the most original | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
and best comedians I've heard in many a day. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
He has, in fact, recently appeared in a solo concert | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
at the London Palladium, played to a packed house and triumphed. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
In Scotland, his two long playing records have been | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
the biggest seller since The Beatles' Sergeant Pepper album. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
The man who made them has been called Scot of the Anarchic, | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
awful pun, and the Scottish equivalent of Lenny Bruce. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, a very special welcome, please, to Billy Connolly. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:18 | |
Ooh! | 0:15:29 | 0:15:32 | |
Sing, that's the chorus. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:35 | |
Ooh! | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
So, no-one knew you were going to do that, or did they know? | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
They had no idea. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:43 | |
Do you think Parkinson just about had a heart attack? | 0:15:43 | 0:15:46 | |
He must have wondered what the hell was going on. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
I had wanted it for ages, Parkinson, in as much as I didn't want | 0:15:48 | 0:15:53 | |
either him or Russell Harty but of the two, I wanted Parky. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:57 | |
# I was heading with my cromack... # | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
Oh, a cromack is a walking stick. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
You may have seen pictures of Harry Lauder. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
It's a knobbly walking stick. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
It's a Scottish portable phallic symbol, you know? | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
Used mainly for English bus parties. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
Russell Harty was after me to be on his show, | 0:16:14 | 0:16:18 | |
but I held and held and held and then the Parkinson thing. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:22 | |
Parky was in Glasgow and a taxi driver stopped the car to go | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
and buy a cassette of me and give to him. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
They played it in the taxi. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
We'll have to find that taxi driver. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
You owe him a lot of money. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
Not only that, on that show, I told the joke | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
about the bicycle and the bum. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
I got that from a guy in Valencia, in Spain. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
I went to see Scotland play in Spain and we are all | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
walking along the road to the game and a guy came up and told me it. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:48 | |
I was lying against a wall laughing as he walked away. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
-I've never met him again. -Tell the joke again. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
It was two guys in a bar and one said, | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
"I've just murdered my wife." | 0:16:56 | 0:16:59 | |
"I murdered her." | 0:16:59 | 0:17:01 | |
I said, "I don't believe you." He said, "I'll show you." | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
He takes him behind the tenement to a wee wash house. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:08 | |
Sure enough, there's a big mound of earth. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
There's a bum sticking out of it. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
He says, "Is that her?" He says, "Aye." | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
He says, "what did you leave her bum sticking out for?" | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
He says, "I need somewhere to park my bike." | 0:17:19 | 0:17:22 | |
-It's terribly wrong. -Wrong, so wrong. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
I think that's the best thing about it. That it's so wrong. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
So, here we have it, you're on Parky and here you are, | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
this big voice comes on the telly and people are just shocked. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:50 | |
They've never seen anything like you. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
It was extraordinary, for me, as well, because I will never forget, | 0:17:52 | 0:17:57 | |
that was a Saturday evening, | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
and on the Sunday, I was coming back to Glasgow where I lived | 0:17:59 | 0:18:03 | |
and I was in Heathrow and a Chinese guy asked me for my autograph. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:07 | |
I thought, "Woah! This is different." | 0:18:07 | 0:18:11 | |
Then I got to Glasgow Airport and I was coming through | 0:18:11 | 0:18:16 | |
the body of the airport and the people all started to clap. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
People coming up the escalators and all that. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:23 | |
It got a sensational audience, the Parkinson show. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
It was only four or five stations then. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
I thought, "God!" That's when it dawned on me | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
I might have done something quite big. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
Then you went on to be someone that went on Parkinson every other week. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:38 | |
Yeah. That's what it felt like, but it was over many years. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
I only did it once a year. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, a very special welcome, please, to Billy Connolly. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:46 | |
Billy Connolly. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
Billy Connolly. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
Billy Connolly. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
Ladies and gentleman, Billy Connolly. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
Billy Connolly. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
Billy Connolly. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:57 | |
-Billy Connolly. -I think I hold some kind of record. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
I was on it more times... | 0:19:01 | 0:19:02 | |
I used to be equal with Peter Ustinov | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
and then he died and I overtook him. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
Just as well you lived beyond 50 then. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
-You keep rubbing it in about my bus ticket. -Of course I do. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
My parents used to take me | 0:19:14 | 0:19:15 | |
to Lewis's Department store in Argyle Street in Glasgow. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:19 | |
They were kind of skinflints. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:21 | |
They'd take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:24 | |
A big ginger cat, they say it's a baby tiger. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
"Where is the elephants?" | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
"They're away for their lunch, now hurry up. Come on." | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
But, the thing is, that you were going on stage, wowing the crowds | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
and you were talking about the importance of... | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
It was all about childhood and place and all of these things. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
But, actually, you weren't telling the truth. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
Did you know you weren't telling the truth? | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
Because you were hiding what only came out so much later. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
Did you know you were hiding it? | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
I wasn't consciously hiding it, to hide it. | 0:19:55 | 0:20:01 | |
I just didn't want to talk about it. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
It was mine. I kind of liked it, you know, being mine. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:12 | |
Having this really, really tortured childhood? | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
I thought it made me very colourful. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
But only in your own head because you weren't telling it to anybody? | 0:20:17 | 0:20:21 | |
Yeah. It was up to me to make of it what I wanted to. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:25 | |
I always thought it made me kind of special. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
It wasn't the time to talk about things like that, you know? | 0:20:30 | 0:20:34 | |
-Not like now. -But then... | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
Your Aunt Mona, because you lived with your two aunts, | 0:20:37 | 0:20:40 | |
your Aunt Mona, it was just essentially mental cruelty. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
Yes, she would humiliate me every day. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
She would do things like rub your underpants in your face. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
-Physical cruelty as well. -That was one of her tricks. -Tell me about... | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
She used to put notes in them. She had a biscuit barrel. Remember them? | 0:20:54 | 0:20:59 | |
You would go in for a biscuit and it would say, "thief". | 0:21:00 | 0:21:03 | |
You know, it was like living with Tony Perkins, for Christ's sake. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:10 | |
# My name is Norman Bates I'm just a normal guy. # | 0:21:10 | 0:21:15 | |
Very creepy. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:16 | |
She would do that and also, there's a story, | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
someone had written you a neurotic poem and she found it. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
Aye, it was Mexico Pete and Eskimo Nell. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
-Yes. -She found it. It was a schoolboy thing. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
It was a very dirty piece and she found it and she humiliated me | 0:21:29 | 0:21:33 | |
for years and years and years and threatened to take it to school. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
Did she not threaten to tell your father? | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
Aye, she was always going to tell my dad | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
and he was going to beat me limbless. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
It was every day, every single day. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:49 | |
I had a teacher, Rosie McDonald, who was a bit of a psychopath, | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
so I would leave my aunt and go to Rosie. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:57 | |
It's astonishing I'm not gay | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
because the women in my life were nightmares. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:04 | |
I remember my sister standing outside school teaching me long division. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:08 | |
I was scared to go in because I didn't know long division | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
and I knew Rosie would kill me. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
My sister, who became a schoolteacher, explained it to me. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:18 | |
-She was your saviour. -She was my guardian angel. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:22 | |
But, also, while that was going on, from the ages of 10 to 15, | 0:22:22 | 0:22:29 | |
-you're also being abused by your father. -Yes. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
It's interesting because you saw your dad there in that clip | 0:22:31 | 0:22:35 | |
in the documentary. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:36 | |
-Yeah. -Of course, it was all over by then. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
Yes. I loved him. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:42 | |
I kept loving him and I love him today. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:45 | |
And you know, forgiveness is a great thing. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:49 | |
The power of forgiveness is immense. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
You can forgive dead people, as well. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
You know, you can forgive people. | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
It is a very odd affair, sexual abuse. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
Mine is very, very typical. | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
You don't tell anybody about it. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
Everybody wonders why the people who are abused don't rush off | 0:23:07 | 0:23:12 | |
to the police or the authorities or an auntie or an uncle and tell them. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:18 | |
It just doesn't happen because you feel you've taken part in it. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
Because sometimes it's not | 0:23:21 | 0:23:23 | |
the most unpleasant thing that ever happened to you. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
-Even admitting that is difficult, isn't it? -Yes. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
There's a deep guilt and shame involved | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
and so you don't tell people. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
-But it was over five years. -Yes. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:39 | |
-What do your children ask you about it? -Nothing. -Interesting. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:43 | |
-Absolutely nothing. -Your older two must have known your dad. -Yes. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:50 | |
They loved him. They thought he was a great guy. He was, a good guy. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:54 | |
They would hit me in the rhythm of the argument. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:57 | |
Don't you ever let me see you doing that again. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:00 | |
Did you hear what I said? | 0:24:02 | 0:24:03 | |
Don't you ever, ever, ever. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:05 | |
Have you had enough? | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
What a stupid question? | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
Would you like some more of the same? | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
I think you're supposed to say... | 0:24:20 | 0:24:21 | |
"Would a kick in the testicles be out of the question?" | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
The thing was, this was your childhood | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
but it wasn't all of your childhood. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
No. See, my pals had great parents. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:36 | |
That was my saving grace. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
-You saw great parents? -Yeah. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:41 | |
Ian Meikle and Jackie Maxwell, and those guys. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
I loved going to their houses and their parents were great. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
I thought, "It isn't all like this. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
"They're weird. The world isn't weird." | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
They didn't have to share a bed with their dad for five years. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:55 | |
-No, they didn't. -Did Pamela Stephenson save your life? -Oh, yes. | 0:24:55 | 0:25:02 | |
No question. That was when it came to alcohol. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:07 | |
When you met her and you fell in love with her, | 0:25:08 | 0:25:11 | |
you were still drinking for Scotland. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
I'm sorry I came here! | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
This is a confession! | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
-That's right. -She sorted you out. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:27 | |
Yeah. It's funny, I kind of sorted myself out. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:31 | |
I remember it was a Sunday afternoon and she came home | 0:25:31 | 0:25:33 | |
and I was a bit pissed, | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
which was highly unusual for me. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
I had been drinking on an aeroplane and for some reason, | 0:25:37 | 0:25:42 | |
I had vodka and lime on aeroplanes and nowhere else. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
We were living behind Olympia in London | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
and I was lying on a big bunch of coats | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
and she came in and said, | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
"Oh, God! Not again." | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
The funny thing is, I will always remember | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
she had one of those baseball caps | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
and it had ears like a teddy bear | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
and one of them flopped down. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
She looked so sad with this ear flopping down and she said, | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
"I really can't take this. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
"This is serious stuff now. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
"This is alcoholism." | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
I said, "Nonsense." | 0:26:18 | 0:26:19 | |
Or words to that effect. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
I said, "I could stop like that." | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
I said, "Name a date." | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
She said, "A year from today." | 0:26:25 | 0:26:28 | |
I said, "Done." I didn't touch a drop in that year. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:32 | |
And then, on the day we went out to dinner | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
and we were in the Savoy or some place, | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
and a bottle of champagne arrives and it was from Pam. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
She said, "Well done." | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
Now, in the meantime, in that year, she had been saying, | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
"You know, when you have a drink, you immediately change." | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
She called me bogeyman when I was drunk because my personality changed. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:57 | |
It was one of the most remarkable moments. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
They poured me a glass of champagne and I went like that | 0:27:01 | 0:27:05 | |
and I took a sip, a siplet, | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
and Pamela said, "what time is it?" | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
I said, "What is it with you and the time?" | 0:27:11 | 0:27:15 | |
I thought, "Oh, my God! That is him." | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
-It is him. -That's the bogeyman. | 0:27:17 | 0:27:20 | |
You know? What is it with you and the time? | 0:27:20 | 0:27:22 | |
I had been perfectly nice before that. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
But one sip, "What is the time?" It is hardly a leading question. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:30 | |
I was wondering, is it ever a two-way process | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
because it seems Pamela has put so much into you | 0:27:33 | 0:27:36 | |
and with the book and everything. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
Now she's got her own book out. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
-Have you ever felt that you've helped her with anything? -No. | 0:27:40 | 0:27:44 | |
Well, hello, and tonight, | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
I'm talking to Billy Connolly, | 0:27:54 | 0:27:58 | |
a well-known Scottish comedian. | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
Billy, I understand that when you first came to England, | 0:28:02 | 0:28:06 | |
people had a lot of trouble understanding your accent. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:10 | |
-Do you get scared when you go on? -Oh, yes. | 0:28:23 | 0:28:26 | |
Why do you still get scared when you go on? | 0:28:26 | 0:28:28 | |
I don't know and it's getting worse. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:31 | |
Thank you, thank you. | 0:28:31 | 0:28:33 | |
It's going to be a good laugh. This is near the end of the tour. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:37 | |
We've only got two nights to go. | 0:28:37 | 0:28:38 | |
The last Scottish tour I did was unbearable. | 0:28:38 | 0:28:41 | |
On stage was great, it was a huge success | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
and I had some brilliant nights. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:47 | |
And I would think, "Well, that's it, gone, it'll be OK tomorrow." | 0:28:47 | 0:28:50 | |
The following day, I would go, "Oh, my God, here it comes again." | 0:28:50 | 0:28:54 | |
-I would get hugely anxious and I had to get medication. -To calm you down? | 0:28:54 | 0:28:59 | |
-Yes, to calm me down. -Tranquillisers? -Yeah. | 0:28:59 | 0:29:04 | |
I had to get ready, just to get me on. | 0:29:04 | 0:29:08 | |
But once I was on, it was a joy. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:11 | |
That makes me think, is that why you were so angry with the hecklers, | 0:29:11 | 0:29:15 | |
because it was such an effort to get on stage? | 0:29:15 | 0:29:17 | |
I get angry at hecklers because they're cowards. | 0:29:17 | 0:29:20 | |
They sit in the dark and shout at people. | 0:29:20 | 0:29:22 | |
This is the hardest bit for me. | 0:29:22 | 0:29:25 | |
MAN SHOUTS You shut the fuck up, you. | 0:29:25 | 0:29:27 | |
I'll let you into a wee secret. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:33 | |
When your light goes out and mine comes on, it's my turn, right? | 0:29:33 | 0:29:36 | |
Mine goes out, yours comes on, it's you again. | 0:29:36 | 0:29:39 | |
Until then, shut the fuck up! | 0:29:39 | 0:29:41 | |
They shouldn't be in the concert hall. | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
It's OK maybe in a pub or something, | 0:29:43 | 0:29:45 | |
maybe it isn't even OK there, | 0:29:45 | 0:29:47 | |
but I don't want to make too big an issue of it, | 0:29:47 | 0:29:50 | |
because I've always done my time. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:53 | |
I'll always do my two hours and then after that, | 0:29:53 | 0:29:56 | |
if they shout, I'll say, | 0:29:56 | 0:29:57 | |
"OK, the night's yours", and I'll walk off. | 0:29:57 | 0:29:59 | |
I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:02 | |
But the thing... I try to build stuff from nothing. | 0:30:02 | 0:30:07 | |
Ad-lib upon ad-lib, and sometimes I don't know where it's going | 0:30:07 | 0:30:10 | |
but I know when it's going somewhere and I get all excited. | 0:30:10 | 0:30:14 | |
And blah, blah, blah, then, "Blah, blah!" and it all falls down. | 0:30:14 | 0:30:17 | |
And I don't hear what they say. | 0:30:18 | 0:30:20 | |
It sounds like... MUFFLED SHOUT | 0:30:20 | 0:30:22 | |
It's absolutely no use to me. | 0:30:22 | 0:30:24 | |
The house of cards collapses and I have to start again. | 0:30:25 | 0:30:28 | |
I don't know where to start. It's a pain. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:32 | |
Then it cuts back to the female lines | 0:30:32 | 0:30:34 | |
and they're now about six feet from the wildebeest. | 0:30:34 | 0:30:37 | |
Their leader one is sneaking up doing that shoulder number. | 0:30:37 | 0:30:41 | |
(Agnes.) | 0:30:48 | 0:30:49 | |
(Agnes!) | 0:30:55 | 0:30:57 | |
(Agnes!) | 0:30:57 | 0:30:58 | |
Once my feet get on the stage, I become this other guy. | 0:31:30 | 0:31:34 | |
You know, it's a different energy. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:37 | |
I remember Barry Humphries put it much better than I could. | 0:31:37 | 0:31:41 | |
He said, "Sometimes you'll be in Toronto or New York | 0:31:41 | 0:31:44 | |
"and you do interviews all day and you get tired and tireder. | 0:31:44 | 0:31:50 | |
"You walk onto the stage in front of 3,000 people and you think, | 0:31:50 | 0:31:53 | |
"Alone at last." | 0:31:53 | 0:31:56 | |
I know exactly what that means. | 0:31:56 | 0:32:00 | |
This is where you can be you. | 0:32:00 | 0:32:02 | |
The thing I've always loved is if you go to a bar, | 0:32:06 | 0:32:13 | |
usually about 6:30, before seven, | 0:32:13 | 0:32:19 | |
and there'll be a crowd of about 12 people, | 0:32:19 | 0:32:22 | |
they might be nurses from the local hospital or girls from the office. | 0:32:22 | 0:32:28 | |
A mixture of men and women from the offices or the banks next door. | 0:32:28 | 0:32:34 | |
Somebody is leaving or somebody is getting married | 0:32:34 | 0:32:39 | |
and they're having a wee do. | 0:32:39 | 0:32:41 | |
If you watch them in the corner, | 0:32:41 | 0:32:43 | |
they'll be getting drinks in and stuff and they will explode | 0:32:43 | 0:32:47 | |
with laughter, a real explosion of hysterical laughter. | 0:32:47 | 0:32:52 | |
There's not a comedian near them and I like to think that's what I do. | 0:32:52 | 0:32:57 | |
That is the nearest to what I... | 0:32:57 | 0:32:59 | |
That's what I aim for, to be as funny as ordinary people are. | 0:32:59 | 0:33:02 | |
Then you go home and you watch telly and there's a comedian on | 0:33:02 | 0:33:06 | |
and you go... | 0:33:06 | 0:33:07 | |
"He's quite good, he's quite good. That's clever." | 0:33:07 | 0:33:12 | |
But they're roaring. | 0:33:12 | 0:33:14 | |
Maybe they're just impersonating the boss or something, | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
but they've got it, whatever it is, they've got it. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:21 | |
Just looking at that, | 0:33:21 | 0:33:22 | |
you can say you were one of the original provocateurs | 0:33:22 | 0:33:25 | |
and now you've got someone like Frankie Boyle | 0:33:25 | 0:33:27 | |
-who's an absolute provocateur. -Yeah. | 0:33:27 | 0:33:29 | |
His big thing is, "There is nothing I can't say." | 0:33:29 | 0:33:32 | |
Do you believe that to be true of yourself | 0:33:32 | 0:33:34 | |
or would you not be like that? | 0:33:34 | 0:33:36 | |
There's stuff I wouldn't say. | 0:33:36 | 0:33:38 | |
I don't know what it is but I know there's stuff | 0:33:38 | 0:33:41 | |
that has crossed my mind and I've changed my mind about saying it. | 0:33:41 | 0:33:44 | |
I think the Frankie Boyle's of the world are great. | 0:33:44 | 0:33:47 | |
You've got Ken Dodd at one end and Frankie at the other. | 0:33:47 | 0:33:50 | |
So you know where the middle is. | 0:33:52 | 0:33:54 | |
You know where you stand and you've got a remote control. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:57 | |
If you don't like Frankie Boyle, move your families out your life forever. | 0:33:57 | 0:34:01 | |
You talk about outrageous stars now, | 0:34:01 | 0:34:03 | |
when you made the Ken Bigley remark, about Ken Bigley, | 0:34:03 | 0:34:07 | |
and he was killed two days later... | 0:34:07 | 0:34:09 | |
Is that something that you think should have been off-limits, | 0:34:09 | 0:34:13 | |
you should have censored yourself, or not? | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
Actually, it was deeply overrated by the press. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:19 | |
I was talking about CNN, I wasn't talking about Ken Bigley. | 0:34:19 | 0:34:22 | |
I was talking about the newscasters getting fed up. | 0:34:22 | 0:34:25 | |
-Reporting on it? -Yes. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:27 | |
They were saying, "Still no word." | 0:34:27 | 0:34:30 | |
And what they really mean is, still alive. | 0:34:30 | 0:34:33 | |
But you got it in the neck for that. | 0:34:33 | 0:34:36 | |
I got it in the neck from that man and wife team, | 0:34:36 | 0:34:38 | |
that creepy couple who've got a book club and all that. | 0:34:38 | 0:34:42 | |
-Oh, yes, Richard and Judy. -Yeah, that's where I got it. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:45 | |
I thought you meant The Krankies. | 0:34:45 | 0:34:47 | |
How I wish I was there when she fell out the Beanstalk! | 0:34:49 | 0:34:53 | |
I want to play you something. This is from a documentary back in 1983. | 0:34:54 | 0:34:58 | |
That's St Mungo. | 0:35:03 | 0:35:05 | |
They call him "The Big Yin", The Big One, | 0:35:05 | 0:35:07 | |
not just because he happens to stand over six feet tall, | 0:35:07 | 0:35:10 | |
but because he's the biggest thing to sweep Scotland | 0:35:10 | 0:35:13 | |
since, well, nobody can remember when. | 0:35:13 | 0:35:16 | |
He's adored all over Scotland in general | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
and in his home town of Glasgow, in particular. | 0:35:18 | 0:35:22 | |
Hang on, I'll be down in a minute. | 0:35:22 | 0:35:24 | |
St Mungo! | 0:35:26 | 0:35:27 | |
I was going to come here on a bus but I was scared in case somebody | 0:35:34 | 0:35:38 | |
thought I was the Pope and got tore into me. | 0:35:38 | 0:35:40 | |
Identity. Do you think of yourself... | 0:35:42 | 0:35:44 | |
You talk about the fact that you live all over the world | 0:35:44 | 0:35:47 | |
but do you think of yourself as Scottish? | 0:35:47 | 0:35:49 | |
You've got the keys to the city of Glasgow. | 0:35:49 | 0:35:52 | |
Do you think of yourself as coming from Glasgow, | 0:35:52 | 0:35:54 | |
as coming from a kind of nation? | 0:35:54 | 0:35:56 | |
I think of myself as a Glaswegian | 0:35:56 | 0:35:59 | |
before I think of myself as a Scot, | 0:35:59 | 0:36:02 | |
although I'm very proud to be a Scot. | 0:36:02 | 0:36:04 | |
You've always had an ambivalent relationship with Scotland. | 0:36:04 | 0:36:08 | |
You're identifiably one of the most famous Scots in the world. | 0:36:08 | 0:36:12 | |
I've had no problem with Scotland in my whole life. | 0:36:12 | 0:36:15 | |
I love the place and it kind of likes me | 0:36:15 | 0:36:17 | |
but I've had a problem with the media my whole life. | 0:36:17 | 0:36:20 | |
I find them to be middle-class arses. | 0:36:21 | 0:36:25 | |
But... | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
The kind of people who had dressing gowns when they were children. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:30 | |
One quote, 1997, you were on Frost | 0:36:30 | 0:36:35 | |
and you said about the Scottish Parliament. | 0:36:35 | 0:36:38 | |
"We don't want a Stormont, | 0:36:38 | 0:36:39 | |
"I don't want a wee pretendy Government in Edinburgh." | 0:36:39 | 0:36:42 | |
God, that lasted for ages. | 0:36:42 | 0:36:44 | |
Yes. But did you mean it? Did you regret it? | 0:36:44 | 0:36:48 | |
-Are we out of place saying it? -I don't regret it. | 0:36:48 | 0:36:50 | |
I thought it was terrible to have another layer of government. | 0:36:50 | 0:36:53 | |
"Oh, that's what we really need(!)" | 0:36:53 | 0:36:55 | |
I just keep saying to myself, well... | 0:36:55 | 0:36:58 | |
and I do it a lot with politics, | 0:36:58 | 0:37:01 | |
how is it going to affect the average plumber, this great idea you have? | 0:37:01 | 0:37:05 | |
If it isn't going to affect him, away and work, leave us alone. | 0:37:06 | 0:37:10 | |
What makes you so sure that having a Scottish parliament | 0:37:10 | 0:37:13 | |
wouldn't be better than having Westminster, for example? | 0:37:13 | 0:37:16 | |
It might well be but you've ended up with both now. | 0:37:16 | 0:37:19 | |
So, where do you stand? | 0:37:20 | 0:37:22 | |
The referendum has just been called for 2014. | 0:37:22 | 0:37:24 | |
-Would you back independence? -I don't think so. | 0:37:24 | 0:37:27 | |
No, it's a kind of hippy attitude I have to it. | 0:37:30 | 0:37:32 | |
I think it's time for people to get together, not separate. | 0:37:32 | 0:37:37 | |
It's quite interesting though because what is your kids' identity? | 0:37:37 | 0:37:41 | |
They've got a New Zealand mum, a Scottish dad, they kind | 0:37:41 | 0:37:45 | |
of live in New York, they live in Glasgow, they live in Aberdeenshire. | 0:37:45 | 0:37:48 | |
They don't sound like you, presumably. | 0:37:48 | 0:37:51 | |
No, they sound like Americans. | 0:37:51 | 0:37:53 | |
Cara, who was born in Scotland, sounds like RP, | 0:37:53 | 0:37:57 | |
because she was educated in Ascot. | 0:37:57 | 0:37:59 | |
She's kind of posh sounding and Jamie, he's in his 40s now. | 0:38:00 | 0:38:05 | |
He has a Scottish accent with an American edge to it | 0:38:05 | 0:38:09 | |
because he lives in LA and has done for many years. | 0:38:09 | 0:38:13 | |
We all have different accents. | 0:38:13 | 0:38:15 | |
When the kids think of you, do they think of you like that | 0:38:15 | 0:38:19 | |
with your welly boots on, your big banana feet? | 0:38:19 | 0:38:22 | |
-They don't remember them. -They never see these pictures now? | 0:38:22 | 0:38:26 | |
They see the pictures and think it's ridiculous. | 0:38:26 | 0:38:29 | |
When they were younger, I used to put the stage gear on and march into the | 0:38:29 | 0:38:33 | |
living room with the floral, silk trousers and the platform shoes. | 0:38:33 | 0:38:38 | |
They would go, "My God! Who is this?" | 0:38:38 | 0:38:41 | |
"Get out!" | 0:38:41 | 0:38:43 | |
I had some wild stuff. | 0:38:43 | 0:38:46 | |
You had really gone from musician, which you were, of course, | 0:38:46 | 0:38:49 | |
originally, with Gerry Rafferty, to being a comedian, to being an actor. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:54 | |
-Now the next stage is to be an artist. -Yeah. | 0:38:54 | 0:38:59 | |
Has that been a late in life transformation | 0:38:59 | 0:39:02 | |
or have you always drawn? | 0:39:02 | 0:39:04 | |
No, I started at Quebec in Montreal. | 0:39:04 | 0:39:06 | |
It was freezing. | 0:39:06 | 0:39:08 | |
There was a wee art shop across from the hotel | 0:39:08 | 0:39:11 | |
and I got some felt tip pens and a sketchbook. | 0:39:11 | 0:39:15 | |
I've never drawn in my life. | 0:39:15 | 0:39:18 | |
I started to tootle about and I would just draw little islands, | 0:39:18 | 0:39:24 | |
snakes and stuff. | 0:39:24 | 0:39:27 | |
It kind of developed from there. | 0:39:27 | 0:39:32 | |
Did it get a critical appreciation? | 0:39:32 | 0:39:34 | |
I'm just thinking, I would imagine | 0:39:34 | 0:39:37 | |
if Billy Connolly put a dot on a piece of paper, it would sell. | 0:39:37 | 0:39:40 | |
No, I don't know what the critics are saying about it. | 0:39:40 | 0:39:44 | |
I don't read the critics but I remember, | 0:39:44 | 0:39:46 | |
out the corner of my eye, seeing the word, doodle. | 0:39:46 | 0:39:49 | |
I thought, I don't think I will read any further. | 0:39:49 | 0:39:52 | |
I think they see them as doodles, which they might well be. | 0:39:52 | 0:39:56 | |
So, this is the Hobbit. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
You asked me to find the 14th member of this Cabinet | 0:40:00 | 0:40:03 | |
and I have chosen Mr Baggins. | 0:40:03 | 0:40:05 | |
-Me, no! -Hobbits can pass unseen by most if they choose, | 0:40:05 | 0:40:08 | |
which gives us a distinct advantage. | 0:40:08 | 0:40:11 | |
We will seize this chance to take back Erebor. | 0:40:11 | 0:40:14 | |
-Here, Mr Bilbo, where are you off to? -I'm going on an adventure. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:19 | |
-Dain Ironfoot. -Yes. | 0:40:19 | 0:40:21 | |
It's taken you a long time to get to all of that magic stuff | 0:40:21 | 0:40:25 | |
and here you are, you're going to be Dain Ironfoot, | 0:40:25 | 0:40:27 | |
King of the Dwarves in The Hobbit. | 0:40:27 | 0:40:29 | |
-Did you read The Hobbit as a teenager? -No. | 0:40:29 | 0:40:32 | |
Not only didn't I read it, | 0:40:34 | 0:40:35 | |
I didn't like people who did. | 0:40:35 | 0:40:38 | |
There was a definite split between the Tolkiens and the non-Tolkiens. | 0:40:38 | 0:40:42 | |
I was bluegrass and blues and picking and singing and hairy | 0:40:42 | 0:40:48 | |
and the Tolkiens had the book under their arm with the corduroy jacket. | 0:40:48 | 0:40:52 | |
I've never liked Tolkien people. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:54 | |
I always found them kind of creepy. | 0:40:54 | 0:40:56 | |
Especially the ones who could speak those languages. | 0:40:56 | 0:40:59 | |
Dwarvish and Elvish. | 0:40:59 | 0:41:01 | |
-You're going to have to learn some of that stuff. -I've done it. | 0:41:01 | 0:41:05 | |
-I can't remember it. -Speak to me in Elvish. -It is kind of... | 0:41:05 | 0:41:09 | |
-It is Dwarvish I speak. -Oh, sorry. Speak to me in Dwarvish. | 0:41:09 | 0:41:12 | |
It's very guttural, it's very Scottish. | 0:41:12 | 0:41:15 | |
There is a lot of glottal stoppage. | 0:41:15 | 0:41:17 | |
Do not remember any of it now? | 0:41:17 | 0:41:20 | |
Not a syllable. | 0:41:20 | 0:41:21 | |
Well, that could have been worse. | 0:41:31 | 0:41:32 | |
The book, Billy, is, on the back, it says, "Who is Billy Connolly?" | 0:41:37 | 0:41:43 | |
That was 10 years ago. It sold over 1 million copies. | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
-Yes. -Who is Billy Connolly? | 0:41:45 | 0:41:48 | |
-Is he an actor, performer, comedian, Dad, Grandad? -I have no idea. | 0:41:48 | 0:41:52 | |
It depends on how you feel when you get up in the morning, | 0:41:52 | 0:41:54 | |
what you're going to be all day. | 0:41:54 | 0:41:57 | |
I find it quite difficult to think of exactly who I am or where I live. | 0:41:57 | 0:42:05 | |
I'm not sure where I live. | 0:42:07 | 0:42:08 | |
You know, I have the New York place and Scotland and a wee one in Malta. | 0:42:10 | 0:42:15 | |
I like them all very much but I'm not sure which one is where I live, | 0:42:15 | 0:42:19 | |
where my address is. | 0:42:19 | 0:42:21 | |
-Or where you leave your shoes behind? -Yeah. | 0:42:21 | 0:42:23 | |
That's the worst thing about having more than one house. | 0:42:23 | 0:42:26 | |
You've got trousers in one house and jacket in another. | 0:42:26 | 0:42:29 | |
-It's terrible. I feel like Eric Idle. -What an affliction. | 0:42:31 | 0:42:34 | |
I feel like Eric Idle. He says nobody cares about the second homeless. | 0:42:34 | 0:42:39 | |
I suppose you will always be a big show off. | 0:42:41 | 0:42:45 | |
Yes, that's what you're supposed to do. | 0:42:45 | 0:42:48 | |
You're not supposed to be born and live and die and nobody noticed. | 0:42:51 | 0:42:56 | |
You're not supposed to be a beige mirage. | 0:42:56 | 0:43:00 | |
You're supposed to make your mark. | 0:43:00 | 0:43:03 | |
I even remember it in Hyndland Road when I had platform shoes | 0:43:03 | 0:43:08 | |
and the deckchair pants and the starry T-shirt | 0:43:08 | 0:43:12 | |
pushing the children in a pram on my own going along the road. | 0:43:12 | 0:43:16 | |
People were shouting at me and all that. I loved it. | 0:43:16 | 0:43:20 | |
Billy Connolly, thank you very much. | 0:43:20 | 0:43:23 | |
It's been a pleasure talking to you. | 0:43:23 | 0:43:25 | |
# If they keep on they way they're goin' | 0:43:25 | 0:43:27 | |
# We'll be all in the.... | 0:43:27 | 0:43:28 | |
# So you better get your feet in your wellies | 0:43:28 | 0:43:32 | |
# If it wisnae fur yer wellies | 0:43:32 | 0:43:35 | |
# Where wud you be? | 0:43:35 | 0:43:37 | |
# You'd be in the hospital or infirmary | 0:43:37 | 0:43:40 | |
# Cos you would have a dose o' the flu or even plurasie | 0:43:40 | 0:43:46 | |
# If you didnae have your feet in yer wellies! # | 0:43:46 | 0:43:54 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:43:54 | 0:43:57 | |
I think you can take it that they liked you. | 0:44:16 | 0:44:19 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:44:19 | 0:44:21 |