Sport Relief Bob Report Horrible Histories

Hello and welcome to the News At When. When?

Well, the last decade, for a change

because here at HHTV, we have a special report

on how the BBC's Sport Relief came to our screens

and revolutionised the way we all look at sports stars

and certainly the way that I look at David Beckham.

I think it's the tattoos.

Anyway, who better to give you more information on this TV landmark

than Bob Hale with the Sport Relief report? Bob.

Thank you, Sam. Well, Sport Relief, Sport Relief, Sport Relief,

the annual fundraising event so exciting,

it has to take every other year off to recover.

"But where did it all begin?"

is a rhetorical question that I never have to answer.

Yes, it's 2002, ten long years ago, when the funny folk from Comic Relief

and the toned team from BBC Sport put their heads together,

resisted having a little kiss and decided instead

to invent a history-making night of sport, entertainment and fundraising

right here on BBC The First.

Sorry, BBC One. I'm more used to King.

And what a show it was!

Sports stars from every game proved they're good sports and fair game.

Even the prime minister lent his support, though sadly,

it was by playing tennis, not golf,

so I can't do my "who wants to play a round with Tony Blair?" joke.

Then, after a brief interruption from 2003, along comes 2004,

when a second Sport Relief hit our screens,

apologised and paid for the damage.

This time, the show was even bigger, raising a whopping £16.9 million,

which, to give you some idea of scale,

is like £1 million multiplied by 16.9 and that's maths I just can't do.

And it didn't stop there.

Well, technically, it did, but only for a year because in 2006,

Sport Relief Three arrived.

Peter Kay, Catherine Tate, Chris Evans, Paul Whitehouse

are just some of the names written on this autocue.

And that wasn't the half of it. David Walliams swam the Channel

and McFly hit number one by covering Queen,

though no-one will tell me what with.

Then, with barely enough time to do a massively long two-year blink,

it's 2008 and Sport Relief's back and thirsty for more.

There's dancing shoes, tennis shoes and rule issues

as Alan Carr joined a ladies' team.

But putting that football stud on the pitch

certainly helped Sport Relief to haul in a massive 28.5 million quid.

So, beat that! "OK, then, we will", says 2010

and sets about throwing a Sport Relief party all of its own.

And what a party it is!

-With great music, good food and even a fine

-wine

-- David Beckham's voice.

Little joke, there. Nice one, Bobsie.

There's even a beautiful pop starlet who,

in a twist from which I may never fully recover,

turns out to be Rufus Hound.

And, if we look to the cash-o-meter,

we can see that this party really pulled in the punters,

raising more than £44.25 million.

A feat that can't be beat, right? Wrong!

Because it's 2012, people, which means Sport Relief is back.

Ten years young and fitter than a butcher's dog with gym membership,

it's the hottest ticket since the Olympics

and there's no slightly confusing draw to get one.

It's just you lot, us lot

and more fun than you could shake a pole vaulter's stick at

and they are massive. So, get up, get involved and get donating

to the TV event that's so exciting,

it made Thames-swimming titan David Walliams physically sick.

And... What? Well, then, what did make him sick?

They're still putting him out in the Thames?

Oh! Enjoy the show, everyone.

Back to you, Sam. Has anyone got a bin?

-I have the, erm...

-(SCREAMS)

-Too late.

-I'm so sorry.