Medieval Incredible Edibles: Gutbusters

I'm Stefan Gates, and I'm a food adventurer, which means I've

eaten the scariest, the wriggliest and the hairiest foods on Earth.

And now I'm going to serve them to you,

because this is Incredible Edibles: Gutbusters!

CHEERING

Welcome to the show. Today, Gutbusters HQ has been overrun

by a gang of marauding foodheads.

Let's get to know them. Audience, what's your name?

ALL: Foodhead!

Got it?

Of course this mayhem would be wasted without you lot

watching at home, so here's what we've got coming up for you.

'On today's medieval-themed special,

'we eat like peasants...'

-What does it taste like?

-Disgusting.

This is what you've been eating.

'..and eat up pheasants.'

Any idea what this is? It's a very beautiful bird.

'And three brave volunteers get to grips

'with a Middle Ages mystery meal.'

ALL CHANT: Eat it! Eat it!

If you want to get down with the medievals, the first stop is

peasants, poor people, which was pretty much everyone.

Life for peasants was rubbish.

To find out, I'm joined by three members of the great unwashed.

Please give a big hand to Joel, Enfys and Shyon!

CHEERING

Here is what they'd eat.

It's bread.

Rip up that bread and get into it

and look at what sort of bread you've got there.

-It looks tough and gooey.

-It is tough and gooey.

This is very different to the sort of stuff we eat today.

What we eat today is made out of wheat. This is made out of rye.

Wheat was quite expensive back then because it needed

good-quality land, which all belonged to the rich people.

So the peasants could only really grow rye

because rye grows very well on bad land, OK?

Pass that big chunk, Shyon.

The peasants would eat that much bread in one day.

That's about 2.5 kilos of bread. It's masses.

It's fine, though, cos they had a little bit of this.

What do you reckon that is?

-Butter?

-Not quite butter.

I don't think it's butter, I think it's pig fat.

It's pig fat. This is lard.

It's not that good for you, but it had lots of calories in it

and the peasants would work really hard in the fields

and would need a huge amount of energy.

Dig in, tell me what it's like.

-It's nice.

-Tastes like butter.

-I think it's time for lunch.

OK, Enfys, lift that red lid.

See what's under there. What have you got for lunch?

-More bread.

-More bread.

But it's fine because you had something nice to go with it.

That is the amount of cheese that one person would have

had for the entire day.

You'd only have half an ounce.

-It's basically bread, bread, bread, with something else.

-Yeah.

-Would you get bored of a diet like this every day?

-Yeah.

That's fine, because for dinner - Shyon, lift that orange lid...

-More bread.

-..you'd have...

Ah-ha! Sometimes you could move on from bread and you'd have this.

-What do you reckon you've got there?

-Mushy beans.

-Mushy beans?

You'd have these.

The one thing they had masses of back then was root vegetables.

This is a turnip. Grab yourselves a spoon,

dig in and taste some pottage.

Pottage was basically porridgey stew made from anything you could

lay your hands on. What does it taste like?

-It's really wet and sloppy as well.

-It's absolutely disgusting.

-No, it's really nice.

-It's nice!

Shyon, keeping it real.

Now, from all of this food up here,

compared to the sorts of food that you eat now, what's missing?

-Chips.

-Chips.

-Flavour.

-Anything else?

-Chicken.

-Where does flavour come from?

Chicken... What is chicken?

-An animal?

-An animal. There's no meat here.

Sometimes the peasants could get their hands on some meat.

-Do you want to have a look at it?

-Yes.

OK, let's clear all this up and we'll have a look.

One of the only ways that peasants could get their hands on meat

was to go poaching for wild animals on rich people's lands.

It was highly illegal, and if you got caught you ran

the risk of getting your hand cut off as punishment.

Do you want to see one of the animals that they killed? Yeah?

Shyon, lift that lid.

Grab yourself a nice chunk of that.

-That's it.

-That is delicious.

-Is it? What does it taste of?

-Steak.

-Steak? Hm, it is kind of steaky.

-Chewy.

-Chewy. Yeah. Would you like to see the animal it came from?

-Yes, please.

-OK.

Now, we're about to see a whole dead animal.

If this makes you feel a bit squeamish, now's the time to

go into another room and make some medieval fairy cakes.

Ready for this, guys? OK.

What you're eating there is...

this.

ALL: Eurgh!

So...put your hand out.

Put your hands out.

It's looking at me. That's scary!

Does it feel strange to be touching a dead animal like that?

-Hmmm...sort of.

-It's a bit weird, isn't it?

-Yeah, quite!

-Do you guys eat meat?

-ALL: Yes.

Do you think it's worth the effort to try and go poaching to get

some meat if all you normally have is bread and pottage?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-No.

-You reckon no?

-Actually, yes.

-Enfys reckons yes.

Joel, you reckon yes. Well, that's absolutely brilliant.

Guys, give our fantastic medieval taste-testers a huge

-round of applause.

-CHEERING

I've always wondered what it would be like to be

shipwrecked on a desert island with not a supermarket in sight.

How would I be able to survive? I love food.

Could I just live off what the land can offer?

Well, I've come to the west coast of Scotland to meet somebody who

can hopefully show me the way.

To show me how to live off the land,

I've met up with food-foraging expert, Mark Williams.

So what's the key? What do you need to know?

Well, you need to know which things are safe to eat,

because there are some things out there that aren't very good for you.

If we go in there, we see grasses and things,

but if we look really carefully, look at these little round leaves here.

-So this is called scurvy grass. MIMICS PIRATE:

-Scurvy grass! Arrr!

-It's pirate food!

-It is!

And the pirates would have come ashore to collect this, because

it's got lots of vitamin C and it stopped them from getting scurvy.

Have a taste, see what you think.

Oh, it's got a... Oh, wow! That's really weird. It's sweet.

There's a sweetness.

I've never come across anything like that in my life.

-Sensational flavour, isn't it?

-So you could put this in a salad and...

You could put it in a salad or you could make sauces with it...

-And the main thing is you can it scurvy grass!

-Arrr!

And now we're here down at the beach. What are we going to find?

This is where the shellfish live

and you can see the rocks here are covered with mussels.

And they like to be covered by the sea

and then the tide washes down again.

They're sieving the seawater when they get covered

and they're taking all the food that they need out of the water.

But they also catch a few icky things as well at the same time,

so you have to be really careful if you are going to eat them,

make sure they're thoroughly cooked.

It's good to put them in some salty water for a while first,

so they can purge out any impurities that they've got in them.

Aha!

Now, this green stuff that looks like somebody's intestines,

-slimy intestines, this is called gutweed.

-Gutweed! Eurrrgh!

-Somewhere between snot and gut.

-Nice!

Which is why it's all been left here for us

-instead of anyone else taking it.

-Indeed.

So what we're going to do with this is fry these and get them all crispy.

But the seaside's not the only place you can discover edible

eats in the wild.

So the other classic bit of foraging, really,

is mushrooming, isn't it?

There's all sorts of fungus and things growing in the woods.

And some of them will do you a lot of harm, but some of them,

if you know what you are doing, are good to eat.

Look at this stump, this has been cut or blown down a long time ago.

-Falling apart.

-Yeah it's rotting apart

and the thing that is making it rot apart is fungus.

And it makes this, which is like a fungus which grows off the side.

Some mushrooms can kill.

Only eat a wild mushroom if an expert says it is safe.

-What is this called?

-It's called hen of the woods.

-And this is edible?

-It is.

Yeah, this is an edible one. And what's really distinctive about it,

if you take a little piece of it, this has lots of tiny little holes.

-Like cells, isn't it?

-Yeah, little cells.

So that's very distinctive as well.

What size?! Isn't that magnificent?

Better get that in your basket.

And after a hard morning foraging for lunch,

there's only one thing for Mark and I to do. Cook it.

OK, so which do you want to do?

I wouldn't mind tucking in to the big fella over there.

-OK, you do the...

-I want to see what's inside that.

..hen of the woods, I'll get on with these guys.

Wow, look at that!

As soon as Mark gets the gut weed rinsed off,

it's time to get everything in the pan.

Oh! It smells so good!

'And with the mussels and herbs boiling away,

'there's just time to fry up the gut weed before adding it

'to our locally foraged dish with a final sprinkling of scurvy grass.'

-OK.

-Well, let's see what it's like.

-Mmm! Oh, that's good.

-The mussels are delicious.

Everything here tastes absolutely amazing because it's free!

We have been out in a beautiful countryside,

come home with lunch, and can there be anything better than that?

I don't think so.

Now, today we are getting hip to the medieval beat.

Now it's time to see what the upper crust had on their table.

To help me out, I have three feudal overlords

and they are Rowan, Tom, and Raynel.

Raynel, take that big red lid off

and let's look at what you get to eat.

Oh, yeah! What have you got there?

-Meat.

-Meat!

Right at the top level of society,

they would have 1.5 kilos of meat every single day.

-Could you eat that much?

-No!

-That's a huge amount of meat.

-What do you reckon, Tom?

-No.

-All a bit too much.

Well, let's have a look at the actual meat that they ate.

So, Tom, blue lid. Lift that off and pass it to me. Oh!

-What have you got there?

-Turkey.

-Turkey, that's a very good answer.

-What do you reckon, Rowan?

-Venison?

-Venison! Brilliant!

That is fantastic. Grab your forks and have a little bit and tell me

what venison tastes like. Guys, do you know what venison is?

-AUDIENCE: Yeah.

-Yeah? What does it come from?

-Deer!

-Deer.

-It comes from deer. So, Tom, what does it taste like?

-Chewy.

-Raynel?

-What do you reckon?

-It tastes really herby.

-Herby, yeah.

But basically, only the rich could afford it.

So, you guys were sitting pretty.

All of the poor would be outside going, "I want some meat!"

OK. Rowan, next one. Yellow lid, lift that up. Aha!

Let's have a look at what you have got here.

What do you reckon that is, guys? Chicken!

Well, grab your forks and dig in there. Have a little piece of that.

I want you to tell me what you think it is. So, Tom?

-Minging. That's disgusting.

-It's a minging bird.

It's the famous minging bird of medieval times.

Now, this is what you have been eating.

AUDIENCE: Ugh!

Put your hands out, Raynel. There you go.

What do you think that is?

-A Vulcan?

-A Vulcan?

Any ideas what it is? It's a very beautiful bird.

-No idea.

-No idea?

-Is it a type of eagle?

-Is it a type of eagle? That is a great answer.

It's not an eagle. Let's see what these guys out here think of it.

What do you reckon, guys?

What do you reckon, guys?

THEY SQUEAL

What do you reckon that is?

-A bird?

-It is a bird, she's brilliant! OK.

This is a pheasant.

And pheasants were brought into Britain

so that people could hunt them. Tom, you're a noble.

-Would you go and do that?

-No, I'd make my servants do it.

Brilliant answer! Rowan, what about hunting for you?

I think I'd feel really guilty if I killed a bird, like, myself.

-Rowan, are you a chicken-eater?

-Yeah, I eat chicken.

What happens to the chicken before it gets to your table?

-Killed. It's killed.

-Somebody kills it. So it happens on some level.

It does seem a little bit weird to do it for fun, doesn't it?

Now there is still a big treat to come,

but before we do it, let's go and wash our hands.

Now, there was nothing that medieval poshers liked more

than having a feast of roast swan, baked dolphin, whole peacock,

and stuff like that. I want us to have a small taste of that.

So here is one very special dish for us to try.

Peasants, bring us our supper!

OK. Thank you very much, peasants. Go away!

Here we go.

-What do you reckon that is?

-A pig's head.

-It is a whole pig's head. See that?

-It looks a bit weird.

-It does look a bit weird. Does it look a little bit gruesome?

-Yeah.

But the real rich people would have taken something like this,

which is a whole pig's head, with the skin cut off it.

So there is no bone inside there and inside,

-it has been stuffed full of meat. Shall we go in from the nose?

-Yeah.

OK. So we get through the nose there.

Down through the lips.

That looks amazing.

Right, who is willing to get a bit more adventurous?

Rowan, you put your hand up there? OK, what we are going to do is...

..some of these bits are special treats.

There is a crispy ear for you. Have a little taste of that.

Put the whole thing in. Bite it straight off the ear.

-It tastes like crust of bread.

-Really? And now, Raynel's turn.

A little bit of nose?

You star. OK, there we go.

A little bit of nose.

Have a little chew on that and see what you think.

-Top man.

-Tastes like sausage.

-Tastes like sausage.

I guess it is, it's pork, isn't it? And is it nice? Excellent.

Now, I think a little bit of lip. OK.

There you go. There you go, Tom. Have a try of that.

It's quite strange to be eating these things, isn't it?

-What do you reckon, Tom?

-A bit tasteless.

-A little bit tasteless.

You're not so keen on that bit? Less of the lip. What you reckon, Rowan?

-Would you eat pig's head again?

-I think I would. It's quite nice.

You are absolutely brilliant. Give them a massive round of applause.

We've gone back in time to the Middle Ages.

Later on, Annette Badland from Wizards vs Aliens gets up close

to a Dark Ages dish.

It's pig's stomach.

But first, three fearless food heads try out a mediaeval mystery meal.

All right, party people. Look here, I'm a food adventure.

I've eaten ant eggs.

I've eaten sheep's eyeballs.

I've even eaten courgettes!

Aha, oh yes. Believe.

But it's time to share my pain.

So what's the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

-Guinea pig.

-Guinea pig, wow.

-Fish eyes.

-Fish eyes! What do they taste like? Fish?

-Yeah.

-Fish, but a bit eyeball-y. What about anyone at the back here?

What's the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

-Duck tongue.

-Duck tongue? They are a real Chinese delicacy, aren't they?

That's all fantastic. Look, they are all brilliant answers.

Today, we have three food head guinea pigs who will be

tickling some time-travelling food in my medieval mystery meal.

Are they brilliant or are they bonkers? We will soon find out.

Please give a round of applause to Elena, Shyon and Joel!

Elena, what would be the scariest thing I could serve you?

-Er...raisins.

-Raisins? It's going to get worse than that.

Shyon, if you went into the depths of food nightmares,

-what could I serve you?

-Probably squid.

-Squid.

-Squid is the bad stuff. Joel?

-Fried human's head.

-Fried human's head?

Excellent. Well, now is the time to put your blindfolds on.

It's all funny up until now.

Stand by for this.

I'm going to show you what it is that they are going to be eating.

Now, there are pies, and there are pies.

This one...

looks like this.

Now, you've got to remember that not all pies have dead things inside.

Sometimes, they are alive. What do you reckon could be underneath that?

-Mice?

-What do you reckon? Mice? It might be stranger than mice.

Cockroaches?

-Spiders?

-Spiders? Mice? Cockroaches? Maggots?

The thing is, you don't have to eat it! They do! Let's get on with it!

OK.

Now. I can reveal to you at home what today's mystery meal is.

It's this.

-OK. Have you ever heard of pies with live creatures inside them?

-Yeah.

-You have? Would you like to try one?

-Yeah.

Put your hands out in front of you.

When you get it, squeeze really hard and that should kill it. Ready?

SHE SCREAMS

Her legs are kicking really hard. Like this.

-So, Shyon, put your hands out in front of you, like this.

-No.

-OK.

HE SQUEALS

-It tickles!

-OK. Give it a little squeeze.

If anyone vomits, that's fine.

Because I've got the barf bucket at this end. Joel, are you ready?

Aargh!

-What the heck...?!

-I think the drop actually killed it.

-So that should be fine.

-Good.

Now, I can't say what it is,

but I can tell you that the Lord of the Manor in medieval times

thought that the ingredients weren't good enough for his family to eat.

So they were given to the peasants instead.

And they made a pie out of it. Are you ready, guys? Eat it.

-Elena, have you done it?

-Yeah?

-It's quite tasty.

-Elena has got the whole lot in there.

-I can't do it, I can't do it!

-Elena likes it.

-I can't do it!

-Go on, Shyon.

Eat it! Eat it!

AUDIENCE: Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

-Ho-ho! It went in and came straight back out again.

-Oh!

-That tastes like chicken!

-If it makes you happier, it's not alive.

-It's just meat.

-Oh.

What does it taste like?

It tastes a bit like pork and beef but put together into one?

Pork and beef together? Brilliant description. OK, Shyon?

-It's chicken-y, lamb-y.

-Chicken-y, lamb-y?

-Like really squishy lamb.

Squishy lamb? Well, guys, let's take off your blindfolds.

This is what you were eating. It's a pie made of venison. It's called...

-Does that fill you in any more?

-No.

-Not really?

-Well, I'll show you what it's made of. Are you ready for this?

-Yes.

No!

Oh! Oh!

-Do you want to hold it?

-Yes, I really do.

Well done. Brilliant. OK.

Shyon? Do you want to try holding that?

Brilliant. It's really harmless, isn't it? Very good. OK, Joel?

-Oh, yes. Top man. Fantastic.

-That feels awesome.

Well done, OK, pop it down there. Any idea what this is?

-The tube, the spine...

-Nearly, it's a tube, that's brilliant, but...

-Is it that thing that makes you breathe?

-It's the oesophagus.

It's the tube that goes from your neck down to your stomach.

Then, this is the heart,

can you see that heart?

-Any idea what these are?

-Lungs.

They're lungs, brilliant. Those are the lungs.

What about this big fellow

-down here?

-Liver.

The liver. Fantastic.

These are the internal organs of a deer.

So all of these lots were called the umbles,

and they were given to the poor to make a pie out of.

-And they called it umble pie. Is that quite strange?

-Yes.

Big question is, now that you know what it is, does it make you

-think any differently about eating the pie?

-Only preparing it.

-I'd probably eat it.

-Yes? Joel?

-I would eat it.

-Guys, have they been brave?

-AUDIENCE: Yeah!

-So brave.

Give them a massive round of applause. You guys are so cool.

Now, everything in the show so far

has been about making you a better, cleverer, healthier person.

The next bit isn't.

It's time to get a celebrity on stage

and make them cry innocent, salty tears of fear.

Yes, it's time for Incredible Or Inedible.

So let's meet today's celeb.

It's star of CBBC's Wizards vs Aliens, it's Annette Badland.

-Hello!

-Very, very good to meet you, madam. How are you?

-It's awfully nice to meet you. I'm terrified!

-You should be!

Now, come over here. Let me explain to you what is going to happen.

We are going to bring you three different medieval dishes.

Then you get to decide and place on the board of whether you

think that dish is incredible, inedible, or somewhere in between.

Let's give a big round of applause to dish number one.

Thank you very, very much. OK.

Oh...

So, dig into that and I will explain to you what they are.

These are flowers. And this is a flower salad.

They ate lots of things like this, containing all manner of petals.

Now, what's the flavour like?

Very mild.

Does it taste flowery?

Not really, not of perfume,

it's more like a vegetable.

More like a green vegetable.

OK. Well, here is your sign.

You get to decide whether or not violet salad is inedible,

incredible, or somewhere in between. Are you ready?

I-I-I-

Incredible! Fantastic.

Big round of applause there for this number two.

Thank you very much. OK, it gets a little bit different now.

There you go.

Dig in there and I will explain what it is. This is liver and tripe soup.

Do you know what tripe is?

Anyone know what tripe is?

It is pig's stomach. 700 years ago, this was a great delicacy.

-Have you had tripe before?

-No, I haven't. I have always avoided it!

-And you had done so well! Until today.

-Until today.

-What do you think?

-It's a little bit chewy,

but I thought it would be really rubbery.

And it isn't, at all. It just melts away.

So it's your decision, is tripe soup incredible, inedible,

or somewhere in between.

I-I-I-I-I-

Incredible! Yes!

You're absolutely brilliant. OK.

A big round of applause for dish number three.

Thank you very, very much.

-These are pig's trotters.

-It's not pudding, is it?

-It's not pudding.

OK, you need a big, sharp knife, there.

-Are you pretty good with a knife?

-Not really.

OK, let me get into that for you.

So, I'm getting at a little slice off there.

Have a try of that.

-Do you reckon there's a lot of meat on a pig's trotter?

-No.

No, there's very little meat on a pig's trotter. What's it like?

It's all very chewy with just a little,

little bit of pork in the middle.

What you think about this dish?

Is it incredible, inedible, or somewhere in between?

I-I-I-I-I-

In between! Guys, give Annette Badland a massive round of applause.

Thank you, thank you.

There's a game that you might have played at birthday parties

but was also played in medieval times. It's called pinata.

Now this is our pinata. Here we are. It's up here.

It's full of medieval sweets.

So I need some warriors,

filled with righteous indignation to beat the heck out of it.

And what I have over here are the toffs and the peasants.

Approach the pinata.

OK.

The trick is to wallop the pinata until the sweets come falling out.

Lift up your pinata basher.

Are you ready? Whack it! Go for it, guys. Whack it!

-AUDIENCE: Whack it!

-They're coming out now! Whack it, Tom!

Go on, whack it!

That's all we've got time for.

Thank you so much to Annette, to our brilliant volunteers

and of course, our fantastic studio audience

and you guys watching at home.

Join us next time for more Incredible Edibles!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd