Sweden Remotely Funny

Oh, hello! Welcome to Remotely Funny!

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

# Woo, woo Ooh, yeah! #

Hey, everyone, I'm Saara and this is Remotely Funny,

the show that has the power to go anywhere in the UK.

I'm coming in wirelessly,

hijacking your home and then offering you prizes.

You can play if you're in your PJs,

you can play if you're grounded,

you can even play if aliens have invaded -

as long as they're not messing with the wifi, it's game on.

Today, I'm in Sweden!

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

So, wait a second, if I'm here,

where are my Remotely Funny contestants?

First up, it's Kiki! Hello, Kiki, how are you?

Hi, I'm really good.

Kiki is nine and from Bristol.

She loves broccoli, playing the violin and the party hat emoji.

Kiki's totally obsessed with cheese and her favourite dinner is -

you guessed it - mac and cheese.

-Who's with you today?

-I'm in Bristol with my dad.

Kiki, I hear you speak a few different languages. What are they?

I speak partly Hindi, partly Gujarati,

partly French and partly Spanish as well as English.

That is amazing, can you speak a little bit of Hindi to me?

Namaste. Mera naam Kiki.

SAARA SQUEALS IN DELIGHT

Ooh! This is going to be exciting.

Kiki, tell me more about how your dad is going to be

a good team-mate today.

My dad will be a good competitor

because he's quite good at lots of things.

-I can dance, I can cook...

-You can't dance!

-Well, I can dance funny.

-Yeah!

-Yeah.

Kiki, say hello to nemesis number one - Fraser.

Kiki and Dad, say hello to Fraser and his mum.

-ALL:

-Hi, Fraser!

Nine-year-old Fraser is from Norwich,

loves cricket, football and acting -

he once played William Shakespeare in a play.

Who are you with today?

I'm here with my mum and my sister.

Lovely, very nice to meet you.

Fraser, I hear you have travelled a long way to get to Norwich.

Where were you born?

I was born in New Zealand, on the other side of the world.

You weren't just born on the other side of the world,

your ambitions are out of this world!

Tell us what you want to be when you grow up.

I want to be an astronaut.

Why is that?

When I was a kid, I used to look up

and I used to think that, one day, I wanted to go up there...

and land on the moon.

Very interesting. I would love to go to the moon someday.

Finally, connecting to Nasser.

Hello, everyone say hello to Nasser!

-ALL:

-Hi, Nasser!

-Hi!

Nasser is nine, from Eastbourne.

When Nasser grows up, he wants to be a rugby player,

F1 driver or a comedian.

Nasser thinks hummus goes with absolutely everything,

-including grapes, and will have gherkins with every meal.

-Yuck!

Even dessert! Who are you with today?

I'm with my mum, my dad and my big brother.

You want to be a comedian when you grow up. Give us your best joke.

Um... What happened to the glow-worm who was squashed?

What?

He was DE-LIGHTED.

Nice one.

Nasser's mum, tell me about the funny skits Nasser does.

Nasser likes to entertain us with his...

his impressions of people and his funny accents.

So, wait, Nasser, are you telling me you can do an American accent?

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Can I have a cheeseburger and fries, please?

Ooh, "cheeseburger and a fries, please". I like that.

Well, enough of this chatting.

This isn't a coffee morning!

If it was, I'd have made you bring cookies.

Let's move on. It's time for all family members to leave the room.

Off you go! Parents, go to your rooms. And siblings!

I only need my contestants now.

You three have been hand-picked

by a team of highly-trained television operatives.

Your mission is to entertain, perform

and create as much laughter as possible.

Are you up to the challenge?

-ALL:

-Yeah!

Of course, there is a ma-HOOO-sive prize on offer

to the one who can achieve greatness.

Firstly, your status in life will completely change.

You will now be known as high ruler of everything,

plus, Remotely Funny champion.

And secondly, you will own the Remotely Funny hoodie. There it is.

Gaze upon its wonder.

Imagine walking round in it

and being mobbed by hundreds of tearful fans.

You can order yours today by winning this game.

Kiki, Fraser and Nasser, show me your best game faces.

THEY ROAR

OK, OK, I'm scared of you and myself.

Playtime!

# Ooh, yeah! #

This is Bedroom Bonanza.

I name something, you collect it for me.

The first one back with the item wins three of my priceless samojis.

Is everyone ready for item number one?

-ALL:

-Yeah!

-Good.

Go get me...

some soap from the bathroom. Go! Go!

Soap from the bathroom! Come on, come on, come on, now!

The bathroom can't be too far away.

And Fraser is back first. Wonderful.

And Nasser coming in at number two, and Kiki.

Fraser, what scent is your soap?

-Cola!

-Cola?!

I have honestly never heard of a hand soap that is cola scented.

That is very interesting. Kiki, what scent is your soap?

Aloe vera.

Ooh, I like aloe vera, it's, like, sensitive and very gentle.

Nasser, what do you have?

-Cotton blossom.

-Ooh! Even more delicate.

I like everyone's scents.

However, Fraser was back first, so Fraser gets three samojis.

Woo!

Wonderful. It is time for item number two.

I want something...

to get me in the mood for some disco dancing.

Use your creative minds.

Kiki, I know you're super smart, come on, bring me something!

And Fraser's back first!

-Kiki is back second. Hello, Nasser.

-Hello.

-Oh, wonderful.

So, Kiki, what did you bring me?

A stuffed seahorse with loads of sequins on it.

Ooh, sequins do get me in the disco mood, though, good thinking there.

-Nasser, what do you have for me?

-A record.

Ooh! You brought me a record? Oh, interesting!

Whose is it? Who does it belong to?

My brother.

-Fraser, what do you have?

-A jester's hat.

And why would that make me feel like dancing?

It's something that jesters do, they dance and entertain people.

Yeah, I like that.

So, Fraser, you were back first, so you get three samojis.

-Woo!

-Mm.

But, Kiki, I really, really love sequins,

so you get one extra samoji, Kiki.

Yeah!

Item number three, get me a cushion from your mum or dad's bedroom.

Go, come on!

I need a cushion from your parents' bedroom.

Better be pretty cos I like...

Oh!

I think Kiki was back first.

Kiki, tell me something about the pillow.

It's the one that my mum sleeps on

and it's probably the thinnest pillow in our house.

Nasser, what've you got there?

Um... My mum sleeps on it.

Fraser, what about yours.

Um, it's my mum's pillow.

You all got mum pillows? Wonderful.

-Kiki was back first. So, Kiki, you get three samojis.

-Yeah!

-Good job!

Hey, Kiki, we're going to need your dad for this, so call your dad in.

DAD!

Kiki, earlier, I asked your dad what his favourite item of clothing was.

If you can bring me his favourite item of clothing,

I'll give you an extra samoji.

Go, go, go!

Kiki's dad, while Kiki's out of the room, what's the correct answer?

It's my comfy shoes.

I've got pyjamas!

BUZZER

Oh, that is NOT the correct answer!

He said his favourite item of clothing was his comfy shoes.

OK, enough of that fashion talk. We're not a home shopping channel.

So Nasser has yet to score.

-Kiki has four.

-Yeah!

-And in the lead is Fraser with six.

-Yes!

Let's reward ourselves with a trip

to the most important room of the house.

I know. Let's make some food!

# La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... Yeah! #

It's time for the second game,

and your chance to show off your cooking skills.

In Finland, where I'm from, we of course have our own specialities.

So, for this game, I'm going to show you

a Food Flash picture of one of my favourite Finnish dishes

and you have 45 seconds to recreate it.

Samojis for the player who makes their dish

look as close to the picture as possible.

My favourite thing about Finland is, of course, the Finnish gravy.

It's called Ruskeakastike.

Show me you've got a bottle.

Hold it up high and say, "Ruskeakastike is best!"

-ALL:

-Ruskeakastike is best!

Yeah!

Today's dish is called...

SHE SPEAKS FINNISH

Here it is.

This dish is modelled after the famous ship HMS Fearless Finland

which sank on its maiden voyage because it was made out of a taco.

Don't forget the Ruskeakastike.

BOTTLE SQUIRTS

Start cooking!

-Come on, you're going to need all the help you can get.

-Dad!

Nasser, yeah, here we go.

The whole family is here to help you and so is Fraser's mum.

Ah! Blue one, Mum, like the sea.

-Is that locally sourced weird blue food colouring?

-Ah...

It looks weird.

-Nasser, how's it going?

-Tell her what you're doing.

Good, I think.

-What are we making?

-Where are the tacos?

-The tacos are here.

-Ah.

-No!

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!

Stop cooking, everyone!

THEY LAUGH

It is time to take a look at those Finnish dishes.

Kiki, you get three samojis

because your dish looked the closest to the picture.

Yeah!

-But, Nasser, you get one samoji because it was very artistic.

-Woo!

It is time for me to taste the food.

And by me, I mean someone else has to taste it.

-Which means your parents!

-Dad!

-Bonus samojis to the parents that eat it!

-Mum!

-And I want you to relish it.

Kiki is very excited about this one.

Dig in!

Fraser's mum, there we go.

HE TALKS THROUGH FOOD

Nasser's mum, how much do you love it?

-Oh, it's delicious, can I finish it all?

-Go ahead.

Everyone's parents tried it so everyone get a bonus samoji.

THEY CHEER

Nasser, come forward.

For an extra samoji, can you tell me who your mum said

eats the weirdest things in the house?

Me?

Yes! That was the correct answer and you get an extra samoji!

Yes!

We could argue for hours about who's doing the best,

but we don't have to.

We simply check the samojis.

-Nasser now has three samojis.

-Yeah!

-Fraser moves on to seven.

-Yeah!

And Kiki takes the lead with eight samojis!

THEY CHEER

Super samoji success there, Kiki. Nice.

OK, let's reward ourselves with a trip to the toilet.

Move on!

TOILET FLUSHES

Come on, people, there are samojis to be won.

This is a guesstimating game.

The closest to the actual answer gets the samojis.

Write your answers on the loo roll.

The Nile river is the longest river in the world,

but how long is it in miles?

All right, write down your answers but don't show me yet.

I want to see them all simultaneously when you're done.

KLAXON OK, I want everyone

to hold your answers to the camera so I can see them.

Nasser, what does yours say?

1,100 miles.

Fraser?

119.2 miles.

Oh, that's very specific.

What about Kiki?

6,112.

The correct answer is 4,132 miles.

So, Kiki, that means you're the closest. You get three samojis.

Yes!

Put your pens and loo roll down.

Take a look at this LooTube moment.

For an extra samoji, I'm going to ask you a question

and the first one to flush the loo gets to answer.

HE SINGS OPERATICALLY

And stop!

What do you think happens next in the video?

TOILET FLUSHES Nasser, what do you think happens?

A penguin bit the guy on the leg.

Ooh, Nasser, that's intense.

Unfortunately, it's not the right answer.

Does anyone want to flush again for another answer?

TOILET FLUSHES

Kiki! What do you think happens?

Does he wee in a penguin's nest?

EURGH! Kiki, no, that's not the right answer.

Let's see what happens in the video.

HE SINGS

-WOMAN:

-Oh, oh! Wait!

HE CONTINUES TO SING

Who knew penguins hate opera?

And now I want to hear everybody doing some opera,

and I want you to scare every penguin off

within a hundred-mile radius.

Go!

THEY TRY TO SING OPERA

Nice, Nasser.

You're going to get one samoji

for the big performance you just gave us.

YEAH!

Toilet Takedown over.

-Nasser has four samojis.

-Yes!

-Fraser stays on seven.

-Woo!

-But Kiki stretches her lead to 11 samojis.

-Yeah!

Right, to the final room. I fancy a nose round your lounge.

Let's go to the living room.

Let's play Remotely Funny Families!

Yeah!

Good job, Nasser, take me there.

Come on!

Kiki, Fraser and Nasser, good to see your families are back,

although you might be regretting that soon.

But first, come a little bit closer, Fraser.

I've got a small challenge for you. We asked your mum earlier,

what's the one thing that she does that embarrasses you?

What do you think it is?

Um...

She always shouts stuff at me when I'm playing cricket.

Not quite! BUZZER

That is not the correct answer!

The correct answer was she kisses you goodbye in the school playground

-in front of your friends. Is that true?

-Yeah!

Fraser's mum, can I see a little bit of that kissing action?

-Mwah!

-Give him a kiss!

Contenders, find something your parents can use as a microphone.

And the sillier the better. Let's go! Let's get the microphones.

We're going to be needing microphones for this round.

All right, Fraser, what do you have there?

I have a remote control.

What about you, Kiki?

A jangly instrument.

Ooh, original, I like that. I like creative.

Nasser, what do you have?

-A flower.

-Whoa, that's beautiful.

I'm going to play each of you a song and when the music stops,

you need to finish the lyrics.

And if you don't know the lyrics, make them up.

And I'll also be awarding points for your performance.

Kiki's dad, Jeremy, you're going first. Play the song!

# We all get there eventually

# I never knew where I belonged

# But I was right and you were wrong... #

All right, here we go!

KLAXON

# Don't be so hard, don't be so hard, don't be so hard

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na... #

Ooh!

That's close, Kiki's Dad, but here's what it should've sounded like.

# Don't be so hard on yourself, no

# Learn to forgive, learn to let go... #

Fraser's mum, Gabby, it is your turn. Hit the music!

# Oh-oh, oh

# Every minute of every hour... #

Here we go. KLAXON

# Cos I'm lucky, lucky, lucky

# When I want to be

# I'm lucky, lucky, lucky

# Ooh... #

You're lucky when you want to be?

Striking voice, Fraser's mum, striking voice.

But lyrically, it should have sounded like this...

# Every minute of every hour

# I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more... #

And finally, no pressure, Nasser's mum. Go track!

# I can't live a lie, running for my life

# I will always want you... #

Here we go.

KLAXON

# Custard, custard, custard, custard, custard... #

It's Wrecking Ball!

# Custard... #

You're doing it wrong!

# Custard, custard and chips

# Custard and pie... #

THEY ALL LAUGH

You have an impressive pair of lungs,

but I think the words have DESSERTED you.

# I came in like a wrecking ball

# I never hit so hard in love

# All I wanted was to break your walls... #

Kiki, your dad gets three samojis for overall best singer!

THEY CHEER

And, Nasser, your mum gets one samoji for cringe.

THEY CHEER

Well, thank goodness that's over, but it doesn't have to be.

Let's loop some embarrassing highlights.

# Don't be so hard, don't be so hard, don't be so hard... #

# Lucky, lucky, lucky... #

# Custard and chips... #

-# Don't be so hard

-# Ooh

# Custard and chips

# Don't be so... Don't be so... Don't be so hard

# Ooh

# Custard and... Custard and chips. #

Well, that's our ability to enjoy music destroyed.

What shall we do next?

Look at the scores, of course.

Nasser moves on to five,

Fraser remains on seven,

and Kiki is still in the lead with 14.

THEY CHEER

Come on, boys. I know you can do it. Things are about to get serious now.

Parents, could you all leave the room?

Go and talk about how much better things were in the old days

or something.

# Ooh, yeah! #

OK, lean in and huddle up. This game is called say-what-you-see-mojis.

Now, go and get a buzzer. Get ahold of anything that makes a big noise.

I've got mine!

AIR HORN HONKS

Hold up your buzzers, let me see what you've got.

First person to buzz in and answer correctly wins the samojis.

First one, say-what-you-see-moji.

What do you think this is?

RATTLING

-Nasser, what is it?

-Paper cutter.

Neergh...very close but not!

Kiki, do you have an answer?

Paper cut.

Yes, Kiki, that was the correct answer, it's a paper cut.

That's three samojis for you.

-Yes!

-All right, next one.

Clue - it's a CBBC TV show.

CLICKING

Fraser?

Danger Mouse!

Yes! That is the correct answer, Fraser.

-You get three samojis for that.

-Yes!

And finally, the last one.

It's a saying and it's also a song.

Let's have a look.

What do you think this is? CLICKING

Ooh! Fraser, what is it?

Think Out Loud?

Yes! That is the correct answer.

Fraser, that's another three samojis for you. You're so good at this.

Game over, everyone.

OK, the scores are in and I can reveal...

SHE DRUMROLLS

Today's Remotely Funny winner is...

..Kiki!

-Yeah!

-Yes!

CHEERING

Woo! That's a Finnish celebration.

SHE SPEAKS OTHER LANGUAGE

That's a Swedish one.

That means, Kiki, you win the Remotely Funny hoodie.

Congratulations. KIKI CHEERS

Fraser and Nasser, you don't go home empty handed.

We'll be sending you

a Remotely Average runners-up prize.

Get your families back in the room!

Big thanks to you, Kiki, Fraser and Nasser, and your families

for letting me absolutely go crazy in your fabulous homes.

You've been immense,

it's been remote and we've all been pretty funny.

Play the music!

Aideux!

# Ooh, yeah!

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na... #

Move your bodies!

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo

# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, woo, woo... Yeah! #

Thanks so much, everyone! Bye!