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Tutan Kutie Scream Street

Tutan Kutie

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# He was a kid who didn't fit in

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# Got a wolf living inside under his skin

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# When he's angry his body sprouts hair

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# So he got a ticket you'll never guess where

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Next door's a vampire, maybe not

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# 4,000 years old but her body won't rot

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# Yeah, being a freak is totally normal

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# When everyone's freaky paranormal

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream when you get to Scream Street

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# Scream Street, Scream Street. #

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Note that the harder Cleo exercises

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the faster her heart beats.

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This pumps more oxygen to her muscles.

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Or it would if Cleo hadn't already been dead for 4,000 years.

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Thank you, Cleo.

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Oh!

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Careful!

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I really don't want my heart broken.

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Oh, who's this handsome mummy?

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Can boys be mummies? Daddies?

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-No.

-Whoa!

-He's no-one.

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Well, if he's no-one,

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why do you keep his picture so close to your heart?

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Do you love him?

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Cleo's got a boyfriend,

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-Cleo's got a boyfriend!

-Shut up!

-THEY GIGGLE

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Shut up!

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Mmm...

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Ah, the Watsons' delivery from the normal world's arrived.

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Triple-ply pink scented toilet paper with

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a cloud pattern on - and they think we're weird!

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Creme de la pretty nose anti-ageing cream.

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Mmm. Can't hurt to try a little.

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-HE LAUGHS

-Look, if you must know,

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his name was Tutan Kutie.

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He was an Egyptian prince. We hung out a lot.

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But his pyramid got raided and looters stole his sarcophagus,

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there was this storm, their ship capsized...

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-I never saw him again.

-HE SOBS

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That's the saddest story I've ever heard.

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-I mean...not!

-You must really miss him.

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No! I mean...

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He really understood me.

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Oh!

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Nylon socks, soft toilet paper!

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Oh, party-sized scotch eggs!

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Mmm. Oh, Sue, there is a party going on in my mouth.

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Ooh, I've so missed these little luxuries from the normal world.

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Yes, unfortunately I will have to charge you a little more this time.

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The risks involved in smuggling, you understand.

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-How much more?

-What's quadruple?

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Four times as much?!

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Ah, no, eight times - octo, like an octopus.

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Eight legs, eight times.

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That's how you remember it.

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Nice doing business with you.

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Well, wait a minute.

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-Where's the face cream?

-The, erm...

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anti-ageing cream?

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Oh, sorry, I couldn't get any.

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Out of curiosity, say someone put that on,

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when would it start making them look younger?

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Oh, it doesn't literally stop ageing. It's not magic.

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And yet people spend a fortune on it.

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Imagine what they'd pay if it actually worked.

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Mmm...

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DOG BARKS

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Bad doggie, no!

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Whoa!

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Hello, sweetie, what's up?

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What's up? I'm a freak -

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a 4,000-year-old child -

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a princess who wears bandages and keeps her heart in a box.

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No wonder nobody understands me.

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Well, maybe one person.

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Who, me?

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Hmm!

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-Yes, Dad, it's you.

-Oh, goody.

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She's sure to have an anti-ageing spell.

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Hello, Sir Otto.

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Eefa, my dear, you have something I'd like to get my hands on.

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Do you have any, erm...tartan paint?

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-Of course.

-Ah.

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Ooh. I've...I've changed me mind.

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Do you have any striped paint?

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Er...back in a sec.

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Here you go, striped paint.

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-Ah! I mean...

-HE GIGGLES

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This is matt - I wanted the eggshell finish.

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Ah, of course.

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Bingo!

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Are you sure it's safe?

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Looks OK to me.

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Yes, I can get most of these ingredients.

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Oh, but how do I get my hands on one of those?

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Oh, I know, I know!

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Here you go. Otto?

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Oh.

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SHE SIGHS

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Oh, Tutan Kutie!

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You can't have drowned at sea because you're already dead.

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So where are you?

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get it, Dad.

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-Tutan?!

-Cleo, I finally found you.

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When the looters' ship capsized, I walked thousands of miles

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across the ocean floor just to get back to Egypt but...

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-you weren't there.

-Oh, wow!

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I should totally have left a forwarding address.

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Well, I've found you now.

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DOG BARKS

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THEY IMITATE LIGHTSABERS

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Ha! I will never join the dark side.

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Luke, I am your father.

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No!

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Tutan? TK?

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Hey, Cleo. Look, we just wanted to say sorry.

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Yeah, for, you know, teasing you about your mummy boyfriend.

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We must seem pretty immature to someone who's like a billion

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times older than us.

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Oh, I don't know about that.

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THEY IMITATE LIGHTSABERS

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Guys, it doesn't matter.

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There's someone I want you to meet.

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This is Tutan Kutie. He walked across the ocean floor to find me.

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-Hi, guys.

-THEY GASP

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Anyway, you're obviously very busy, so excuse us.

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Come on, TK, let's go somewhere special

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where we'll feel more at home.

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That's a bit...well, weird.

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Well weird!

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Remember when we went swimming in the Nile and an alligator got

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hold of my bandages and you wrestled his jaws open? It was awesome.

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-Great times.

-It must be nice to feel your toes in the sand again.

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I mean, it's hardly ancient Egypt.

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It's great. I love sand.

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This'll sound really silly but I come here a lot on my own.

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It reminds me of home.

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No, that doesn't sound silly at all.

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I knew you'd understand. I swear no-one round here does.

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Well, I do.

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-HE SNIFFS

-Aw!

-Bit of a coincidence.

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He's been missing for centuries and the day after she mentions

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his name he shows up.

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-I smell a mystery.

-You sure it's not these troll toenails?

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-Phwoar!

-You know, sometimes it's, like, when you really like someone

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and you think about them really hard you can, like,

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draw them to you, like magic.

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Then they just appear in your shop.

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Life! I mean, life.

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Magic, that's it. Maybe Cleo cast a spell to bring him back.

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Cleo? Cast a spell?

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Do you know anything about the page that's missing from my spell book?

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-Absolutely not.

-No!

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This stolen spell's banned by the Witches' Council.

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Actually, Cleo wouldn't want it.

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Not given its key ingredient.

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THEY GASP

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Erm...I'd really like to give you something.

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-Here.

-Tutan, are you serious?

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You're giving me your...

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Yeah, if...if that's OK with you.

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Wait here.

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TK, what's going on?

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Dixon?

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Sorry, but I really need this!

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Gallons and gallons of industrial-grade

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anti-ageing potion.

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I'll make a fortune.

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All this spell needs is...

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A-ha, here it comes now.

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-Oh!

-Careful, you buffoon!

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The ageless heart of a mummy princess,

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the secret to eternal youth.

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You're not going to damage it, are you?

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Cos she'll need it back.

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Oh, chuck it here, you useless waste of skin.

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Ah! Ow.

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Ah!

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Cleo! Cleo!

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No sign of Tutan Kutie either.

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If he even is Tutan Kutie.

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You think he's a fake?

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Who stole the spell and now wants to steal her actual heart.

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-We have to find her.

-She said they were going somewhere special.

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Where they'd feel more at home.

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-BOTH:

-Of course!

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The temperature needs to be just right.

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Any second now.

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Oh, look, Dixon, we have a visitor.

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Thanks for the pumper, Princess.

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You weren't using it, were you?

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At least I have a heart to lose.

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Oh.

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-HE GASPS

-This does not look good.

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Mr Farr, have you seen Cleo?

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Can't stop, chasing dog!

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No, don't worry, we'll rescue your daughter from mortal peril.

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Give me that.

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HE SNIFFS Dixon!

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This way.

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Almost there.

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Let go of that heart.

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Oh, great, the furball and the sham-pire.

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Argh! Oh, oh.

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Oh, come on, cloak, give me some oven mitts.

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Oh! Or some barbecue tongs.

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No!

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Perfect.

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Resus, use me!

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Ah. Ah!

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Ha!

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Argh!

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Ooh.

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-SHE SIGHS

-Thanks.

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Game, set and match.

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Give me that heart!

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Oof!

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Thanks, guys. How did you find me?

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Luke sniffed you out. We found your heart box in the sandpit.

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Yeah, we know that's your special place.

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-The sand reminds you of Egypt, right?

-I guess you guys do get me.

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A bit. And thank you, I suppose.

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You're welcome.

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Er, Cleo, you know when you kissed Tutan?

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Did you think it might have actually been me?

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Ha! No.

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Oh, well...

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good, er, because it was horrible.

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-You kissed Dixon?

-Shut up.

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-But...Dixon!

-Shut up.

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