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This series looks at life in one of Britain's busiest airports. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
On today's show - Peter and Judith demand their money back. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
-What would Jesus do in this situation? -Jesus? | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
Jesus would give us a full refund. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
Melody explains why she should be promoted. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
If you work at check-in you really do need to be a people person. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
I am very good with people because I am myself a person. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:25 | |
And there's some last-minute holiday advice from Taaj. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
If you haven't got Sky Plus in your hotel, you don't want to go at all. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
If you have, just stay at home and watch Sky Plus. It's better, innit? | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
It's 8am, and over at the FlyLo desks it's check-in manager Helen's last day. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:12 | |
But competition for her position has caused tension between best friends Melody and Keeley. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:17 | |
Next, please. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:18 | |
And Melody has chosen the worst possible day to be late. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
-Melody, you were two hours late this morning. -Yeah, I'm sorry, Helen, I just... | 0:01:21 | 0:01:25 | |
It's not going to count against her for promotion, is it? I really hope not. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:30 | |
-No, I don't think it will. -Melody, I really, really hope it doesn't count against you for promotion. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:36 | |
Thanks. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:37 | |
Meanwhile, in departures, these FlyLo passengers are also having a bad day. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:42 | |
They can't find the right gate for their flight to Greece. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
Fortunately, Taaj is on hand to help. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
-Excuse me, mate? -Yes, boss? -Which gate's the flight to Athens? | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
Can I see your boarding pass, please? | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
Yeah, it's already taken off, mate. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
What do you mean? It's not supposed to leave for another hour. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
-Yeah, but it left early. -What's the point of it leaving early? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
Well, FlyLo have had a lot of complaints recently because some of their flights has been delayed, | 0:02:01 | 0:02:06 | |
so we're trying to get some other ones away early in order to redress the balance, isn't it? | 0:02:06 | 0:02:10 | |
-Was anyone on the flight? -Yeah, the pilot, the co-pilot and one of the stewards. -Anyone else? | 0:02:10 | 0:02:15 | |
No, I think that was it. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
You can't please some people. First they is moaning that the flights is late, | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
now they is moaning that the flights is early. You can't win. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
It's 10am, and in international arrivals the airport paparazzi | 0:02:24 | 0:02:28 | |
are reflecting on what may turn out to be a career-ending incident. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:33 | |
-I'll tell you what happened. -He's not allowed to take photos here no more. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:37 | |
-He's been a naughty boy, ain't ya? -It was an accident. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
He done the old up-the-skirt shot on Dame Judi Dench. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:44 | |
What happened was was, Dame Judi come through, | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
I tripped, fell to the floor, camera went off in me hand. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:51 | |
-And it was an accident, was it? -I swear on my mother's life. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
God rest her soul. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:56 | |
Next thing I know, front page of the Daily Star...Dame Judi's drawers. | 0:02:56 | 0:03:01 | |
Dame Judi done a complaint and that's that, licence took off me. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:06 | |
He'll never work again. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
A few minutes later, Mickey is back at work when Buster spots an incoming celebrity. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:15 | |
-Look, it's that woman from Big Brother. -Hello, Professor Greer, lovely to see you again. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
-Nice holiday? -It was a lecture tour actually, -Oh, all sounds very intellectual. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:24 | |
-Mind if I take a quick snap? Won't take a mo. -Get a sexy one. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:28 | |
-Yeah, all right, my son. -Get her to look over her shoulder, like this. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
-Shut up! -Get her to show a bit of leg. -Buster! -Do you always talk to women like that? | 0:03:31 | 0:03:36 | |
What are you, one of these feminists? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
Well, as a matter of fact I am, and you are a revolting man. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:45 | |
Well, you're not going to sell THOSE to Nuts Magazine. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
-You've ruined that! -I was trying to help. -You're not helping at all. You're in the way! | 0:03:48 | 0:03:52 | |
-What am I meant to do? -I don't care! You're not allowed to take pictures any more, are ya? Just...get lost! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:57 | |
CAMERA CLICKS | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Amateur! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
Pervert! | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
Our Lady Air runs a Steward of the Year competition. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
And Fearghal is going all out to win it. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
It's all part of the service there, sir, and I can really style it for you if you like. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:19 | |
There's a way that Justin Bieber does it that he really likes. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
If you want to be number one, you've got to realise that there's more to this job than handing out hot towels. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:27 | |
You've got to be a nurse, you've got to be a children's entertainer, | 0:04:27 | 0:04:31 | |
you've got to be a...travel guide, you've got to be a counsellor, | 0:04:31 | 0:04:35 | |
you've got to be a midwife, you've got to be an interpreter, you've got to be a hedge fund manager, | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
you've got to be a pig breeder, you've got to be a toilet cleaner, you've got to be a holy man, | 0:04:39 | 0:04:44 | |
but most of all... you've got to be a friend. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
Oh, and you're also expected to give hand relief to the pilot. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:52 | |
I've got a crying child, row 37. Crying child. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
I always try and do my best for passengers anyway, but if you wanna win Steward of the Year | 0:04:55 | 0:05:00 | |
it does really help if you've done something brave or heroic. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
Like last year's winner, Seamus O'Shaughnessy, he delivered a baby on board. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
So, fingers crossed, one of my passengers will have a heart attack or something. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:10 | |
Hot nuts? Hot nuts? Hot nuts? | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
No, thank you. I'm allergic. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:15 | |
-Really? -Yes, I can't go anywhere near them. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
And, er, what would happen if you were to have a nut? | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
Well, my throat would swell up and I'd be unable to breathe. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
In fact, I have to carry one of these EpiPens so people can inject me. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:29 | |
Really? | 0:05:29 | 0:05:30 | |
Hmm... | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
Can you move out the way please, madam? OK, sir. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Moments later, a passenger has been taken seriously ill on Fearghal's flight | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
and the plane has been forced to make an emergency landing. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:44 | |
OK, what's your name, sir? Your name? Just call... We'll just call him Mr Nuts. He's called Mr Nuts, OK? | 0:05:44 | 0:05:49 | |
'Something very dramatic just happened.' | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
One of the passengers on board has a severe allergy to nuts | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
and he fell asleep and somehow a handful of hot nuts fell into his mouth. | 0:05:55 | 0:06:00 | |
Fortunately I was on hand to administer a life-saving injection. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
He's gonna be OK. He's gonna be OK! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:06 | |
He's gonna be OK. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:07 | |
Did you get that? | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
Some passengers are calling me a hero. Not the man himself, he's still drifting in and out of consciousness, | 0:06:09 | 0:06:15 | |
but I just did what any good steward would do. OK? | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
You know, I don't need an award for saving a man's life. Just doing a good deed is an award in itself. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:24 | |
Having said that, obviously, if they did offer me an award, I would turn up and accept it. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:29 | |
Back at FlyLo, Helen is saying her final farewells. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:33 | |
Well...this is it, then. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
I've, erm, really enjoyed working with you girls. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
So I've just come to say goodbye. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:41 | |
Bye. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
I'll text you when I've had the baby. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
If you want. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:47 | |
-And I'll e-mail you pictures of the baby if you like. -Yes...don't worry. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:53 | |
See you, then. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
Have a good baby. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
Helen! I hope you manage to lose all the baby weight! | 0:07:09 | 0:07:13 | |
She won't. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:18 | |
Over 80 million pieces of luggage pass through the airport every year. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:26 | |
It's the job of Customs Officer Steve Downes and his dog Bobo to ensure none of them contain drugs. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:32 | |
Come on, it's just a camera. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
My training method's very simple. I teach the dog to sniff out illegal substances | 0:07:34 | 0:07:38 | |
and I give him a little bit as a reward. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
All right? There you go. Good lad. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
Good lad. That was just a little slither of crack there. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
Do you want some more? Course you do. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
I started working with dogs in the armed forces, in the Bomb Disposal Unit. I served in Afghanistan. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:57 | |
My job was to train the dogs to sniff out bombs. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:00 | |
Same principal - the dog would find the bomb, I would give the dog the bomb to play with as a reward. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:06 | |
I'm glad I got out when I did, though. I...saw some terrible things. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
I saw Jim Davidson live, | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
I saw James Blunt do an acoustic set at the base in Helmand Province, in which he sang Beautiful twice, | 0:08:13 | 0:08:19 | |
and...I think perhaps worst of all... | 0:08:19 | 0:08:23 | |
I saw Ross Kemp take a shower. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Still have nightmares about that. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
I've had a number of canine companions over the years. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
This is my first one, Princess. Excellent sniffer dog. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
But she ended up sniffing cocaine and couldn't stop. She's now in rehab. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:38 | |
This is Pickles. Pickles developed a taste for cannabis. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Always had the munchies. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
The weight ballooned. Now she has to be carted around in a wheelbarrow. Very sad. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:47 | |
This is Molly. Top sniffer dog, but...heroin. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
First she started smoking it, then injecting it. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
Last I heard she was selling her body to get drugs. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
Muffin. LSD, thought she could fly. Splat. | 0:08:56 | 0:09:01 | |
We have a joke amongst some of the lads here. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
"My dog's got no nose." "How does he smell?" | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
"Well, unfortunately, he can't smell, | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
"because he's sniffed so many drugs over the years that he's pretty much obliterated the olfactory system. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:14 | |
"His septum has practically dissolved. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
"We're going to have to retire him, see if a farm will take him, | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
"and, if not, we'll just probably have him put down." | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
It's 11:30, and at the France Airways check-in two passengers are becoming very angry. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:31 | |
Obviously we are not going to wield the swords on the plane! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
-We are from the BMBRS! -The what? -The British Medieval Battle Re-enactment Society. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:38 | |
You are not allowed to take dangerous weapons onto the plane. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
We need to get the swords to Paris because we are re-enacting the battle of Agincourt on Wednesday. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:45 | |
-These items are forbidden. -This is racism, isn't it? | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
-Excuse me? -We beat you at Agincourt. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
-Approximately 9,000 of our men defeated approximately 36,000 of yours. -I don't understand. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:55 | |
Battle of Agincourt? 1415, Henry Five? I imagine they didn't teach you about that at your "ecole". | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
One of the many glorious English victories over the French. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
-Cry God for Harry, England and St George. -I'm sorry? | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
-I told you France Airways was a mistake, Peasant Swordsman Gavin. -You DID want me to use my Nectar points. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
-Listen, wench, will you let us on board with the swords or not? -Non. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
What if we do that thing where we wrap them in lots and lots and lots | 0:10:12 | 0:10:16 | |
-and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of cling film? -Non. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:20 | |
What are we meant to do, leave them here? | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
Perhaps you have a wife or girlfriend who could pick them up for you? | 0:10:22 | 0:10:26 | |
Look at us, we obviously do not have wives or girlfriends. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
There are other people here. Would you like me to check you in or not? | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
We cannot accurately recreate the battle of Agincourt without authentic weaponry! | 0:10:32 | 0:10:37 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
I cannot help you. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:42 | |
Fine. Have it your way. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
But next time the Germans invade your country and you immediately surrender don't expect us to help you out. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:49 | |
Good day. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
'The whole thing is absurd, it's patently absurd. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:55 | |
'I mean, a sword is only a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands.' | 0:10:55 | 0:10:59 | |
Un moment, s'il vous plait. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
Just forgot our swords. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
'I've been re-enacting for 14 years.' | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
I've taken part in hundreds of battles, and in that time I've only accidentally killed two people. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:11 | |
-What about Trevor? -Well...he died three weeks later in hospital. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:16 | |
I don't feel I can be held accountable for that. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
Meanwhile, in baggage handling, | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
John and Terry are enjoying a well-earned rest. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
I've been working here so long I've developed a sort of sixth sense. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:30 | |
I have! I can just look at a piece of luggage and tell you exactly what sort of person owns it. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:35 | |
-Can't I, boy? -Not really, Dad. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
Yeah. Like, watch this, right. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
See this one? I reckon that bag belongs to...a man. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:43 | |
Check the label. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
-"Barry Edwards." -See? | 0:11:45 | 0:11:46 | |
Or...this one, I would say, belongs to a woman. Check the label. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:53 | |
-"Susan Williams." -See, I'm good, ain't I? | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
-Yeah, amazing, Dad. -Yeah, or this one here. | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Very interesting. I would say that belongs to someone who likes golf. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:04 | |
Yeah, a fan of the sport golf. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:05 | |
Someone who enjoys watching it or playing it. Check the label. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
-"Nick Faldo." -See, it's a gift. -Yeah, are we done yet, Dad? | 0:12:08 | 0:12:12 | |
No, no, boy, I'm on a roll, I'm on a roll. Here we go. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
Yeah, now, this belongs to either a little girl or a midget queer. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:20 | |
"Frances Banks." | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
We'll never know. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
It's midday, and rumours about who's going to get the promotion | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
are buzzing round the FlyLo check-in desk. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
We still don't know which one of us is going to be check-in manager. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
-I do. -What? | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
I've been told. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
-What have you been told? -I've been told who's got it, but I've been asked as a courtesy | 0:12:38 | 0:12:43 | |
to wait until it's officially announced at five o'clock, and I can celebrate then. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:48 | |
Ian Foot has been Chief Immigration Officer at the airport for ten years | 0:12:48 | 0:12:52 | |
and in that time he's seen a lot of changes. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
Unfortunately, in this day and age, you have to be as careful | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
with the people that work in the airport as those who are arriving, | 0:12:58 | 0:13:03 | |
so I do spot checks on the staff. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
I select them at random, bring them in, go through their documentation, ask them a few questions. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:11 | |
Well, when I say "at random", it's only actually the black and brown ones. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:16 | |
I don't bother with the yellow people. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
I find the yellow people no trouble at all. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Very meek. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
Right, can I see your passport? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
This afternoon, it's the turn of FlyLo Ground Crew member Taaj to be interviewed. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:30 | |
-This is a British passport. You're obviously not British. -Yeah, I am. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:34 | |
Well, we'll see about that, "Taaj Mansour". Ha. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
Right, where were you born? | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
-Bradford. -All right, where were you parents born? | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
Oh, sorry. Sheffield. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
-All right, where were their parents originally from? -Pakistan. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
Pakistan! We're getting somewhere. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
Right, so if there was a cricket match between England and Pakistan, who would you support? | 0:13:49 | 0:13:54 | |
-I don't like cricket. -Right, well, which sports do you like? | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
-BMX. -Anything else? | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
Cage-fighting, man! I love cage-fighting, man. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
Did you see it on Saturday on Sky? There was this wicked fight, right, | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
because this one guy was being really cheeky, he was giving it all of that. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
But like the other guy came in and mashed up his face! It was like a plate of meat at the end of it, man. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:15 | |
All right, so, if there was a cage fight between an Englishman and a Pakistanian, | 0:14:15 | 0:14:20 | |
whose face would you like to see mashed up? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
But there isn't any cage fighters from Pakistan, isn't it? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
I think there's one from the Wirral. Called something like Strange Reg. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
OK, how many times a week, on average, do you eat curry? | 0:14:30 | 0:14:34 | |
Oh, no, I don't like curry. No, I prefer English food, you get me, like pizza or Chinese. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:39 | |
What is your chosen faith? | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I would have to say George Michael's version probably still the best. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:45 | |
Final question. Do you have a connection to Al-Qaeda? | 0:14:45 | 0:14:50 | |
Never met the guy. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:51 | |
Oh, no, that name does ring a bell. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
-Yes? -I think he's one of my friends on Facebook. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:59 | |
-Is you on Facebook? -Yes, I am on Facebook. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
-Tell me your name, man, I'll come along and poke you. -I don't want to be poked by people like you. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:06 | |
I'm British, I'm proud of it, you get me? That guy should not even be in that job. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:10 | |
He has a racist agenda, which in this day and age is totally unacceptable. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:15 | |
Still at least it got me off work for half an hour, though, isn't it? | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
Oh, he called me a racist, did he? | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
Well, that in itself... is anti-white, right? | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
As far as I'm concerned, he poses a very real threat, and as such I'm going to mark his file Code Red | 0:15:26 | 0:15:32 | |
and add his name to a list of people I feel threaten the security of this country. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:38 | |
Also on the list are Hardeep Singh Kohli... | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
Mark Ramprakash... | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
and Konnie Huq. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
It's proving to be another long day for FlyLo owner Omar Baba, who's all over the front pages again. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:55 | |
Serious allegations of sexual harassment have hit the front pages, | 0:15:55 | 0:15:59 | |
with several FlyLo employees going on record with their complaints. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Mr Baba did not physically touch me | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
but he did once make a verbal comment that I had very nice breasts | 0:16:04 | 0:16:09 | |
and that he would like to put his head between them and go like this - "Errrrrrrr." | 0:16:09 | 0:16:14 | |
I felt that was inappropriate. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
Mr Baba did not physically touch me | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
but he did once make a verbal comment that I had very nice breasts | 0:16:19 | 0:16:23 | |
and that he would like to put his head between them and go like this - "Bwwwwwwww." | 0:16:23 | 0:16:28 | |
I felt this was inappropriate. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
Mr Baba did not physically touch me | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
but he did once make a verbal comment that I had very nice breasts | 0:16:32 | 0:16:36 | |
and that he would like to put his head between them and go like this... | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
You get me? | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
Omar badly needs a public display of support, but will any of his staff be prepared to come to his rescue? | 0:16:42 | 0:16:48 | |
Well, I...I cannot have sexually harassed EVERYBODY who works for me. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:53 | |
Find me my ugliest staff member. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
FlyLo check-in, Keeley speakin'. | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
With the question of who's going to be the new check-in manager all but settled, | 0:16:59 | 0:17:04 | |
Keeley is suddenly called into FlyLo's Head Office for a meeting. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:08 | |
Keeley St Clair, here to meet Omar Baba. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
-OK, take a seat. -Thank you. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
Is it just possible that this story has one final twist? | 0:17:13 | 0:17:17 | |
Back down at the Customer Service Desk... | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
Quickly, Peter. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
..FlyLo's package holidays are still proving unsatisfactory. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
-I would like to speak to the manager, please. -The manager's not here. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:30 | |
-Then I would like to speak to the assistant manager. -He's on lunch. -Then I'd like to speak to you. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:35 | |
-Go ahead. -Well, we have had, and it's not a phrase I would often use, the holiday from hell. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:41 | |
After last week's disaster, FlyLo gave us two free tickets to Peru. So far, so good. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:47 | |
-We were flying over the Andes... -I'm talking, you're talking. We can't both be talking. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:51 | |
-Sorry, Judith. -Apology accepted on this occasion, Peter. -Thank you, Judith. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
So, we were on the plane flying over the Andes. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
Now, the first disappointment was there was no fresh milk. It was UHT. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
And the second disappointment was that the engines failed and the plane crashed into a mountain. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:08 | |
-All the passengers hu... -All the passengers huddled together on the ice. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
It was immediately apparent that we were all very hungry. So I suggested that we eat Peter. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:16 | |
-Not ALL of me. -No, not all of you, that would be unkind. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
So I found a penknife and hacked off Peter's leg. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:22 | |
As you can see, I now sport a prosthetic limb. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
-Yes, stop feeling sorry for yourself, Peter. -Sorry, Judith. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:30 | |
So, I popped Peter's leg on the barbeque | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
and at the same time rustled up some simple but always popular dishes. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:37 | |
Coleslaw, a potato salad and couscous, which I do with roasted vegetables. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:41 | |
-It's one of Nigella's. -Now, Peter's leg was almost done when the rescue helicopter arrived. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:45 | |
We'd only been on the mountain for half an hour. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
-Unfortunately... -Unfortunately, they couldn't save Peter's leg. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:52 | |
It had been cooked right through and also had been dipped in a garlic and herb marinade. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:57 | |
If I had to sum up the holiday in one word I would say "disappointing". | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
And the real shame for me was that the potato salad remained untouched. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:06 | |
Moses, Great British Air's executive passenger liaison officer, | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
is meeting a VIP jetting in from Los Angeles, the actress Anna Friel. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:14 | |
I'm a big fan of Miss Friel, she's so beautiful and talented. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:18 | |
I loved her on stage in Breakfast At Tiffany's. And she was wonderful in that shampoo ad. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:23 | |
And the thing about Miss Friel is - she flies with us all the time - | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
it doesn't matter where she's come from or how long the flight, she always looks a million dollars. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:31 | |
If you'll pardon the pun. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:33 | |
-Oh, here she is! Hello, Miss Friel. Lovely to see you again. -Hello. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
-Let me take those for you. -Thank you. -How was the flight, did you get some rest? -Yes, thanks. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:41 | |
There's just one thing, I did lose an item on board. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:44 | |
-Oh, yes? -Yeah, my, er, wig. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:47 | |
-Oh. I didn't know you wore a wig. -Yes, have done for years. I'm as bald as a coot. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:51 | |
-They've searched the plane? It's not there? -No, they've looked everywhere. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
-And you've looked in your bag, it's not in there? -Nope. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:58 | |
-I think you look very beautiful without it, Miss Friel. -Thank you, but I really would like to find it. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:02 | |
Yes, yes, of course. Well, obviously this is quite a delicate matter | 0:20:02 | 0:20:06 | |
-so what I'm going to do is slip you into our first class lounge, you'll have more privacy there. -Thanks. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:11 | |
Could we make room for Miss Anna Friel, please?! She's lost her wig! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
Stop staring at Anna Friel. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
George is one of the airport's longest-serving employees. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
'I've been cleaning the toilets in the airport for a number of years now.' | 0:20:27 | 0:20:31 | |
You get all sorts going on in here. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
To be honest, when someone comes in and actually does a poo, it's a blessed relief. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:37 | |
'Cleaning toilets, it's not my passion. No, my passion's opera.' | 0:20:37 | 0:20:41 | |
'I love it. And people loves to hear it.' | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
HE SINGS "O SOLE MIO" | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
HE SINGS "NESSUN DORMA" | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
'I say people loves to hear it... I have had a lot of complaints.' | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
But then, you see, opera's not for everyone. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
It's 4:25, and Omar has called a press conference at the airport, | 0:21:08 | 0:21:13 | |
so he can publicly refute the allegations of sexual harassment. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:17 | |
HE CLEARS THROAT | 0:21:17 | 0:21:18 | |
Thank you all for coming here and giving me chance | 0:21:19 | 0:21:23 | |
to deny these disgusting allegations of sexual harassment against me. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:28 | |
And may I also say how wonderful it is to see so many beautiful ladies in the room. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:33 | |
Today, I will prove my innocence! | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
-This lady here is an employee of FlyLo. -Hello. -Please, do come. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:44 | |
Tell me, have I ever touched you in an inappropriate way? | 0:21:46 | 0:21:52 | |
No, Omar, you have not. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
And have I ever made lewd comment, like... Give me paper. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:59 | |
.."What a beautiful meaty bottom you have"? | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
Or, "May I tweak your left nipple?" | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
Or, "Please touch it, I promise it won't take long"! | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
No, Omar, also you have not. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:12 | |
OK. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
So I ask you this, what do you think of these...allegations against me? | 0:22:14 | 0:22:20 | |
I think they are nonsense, Omar. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:24 | |
Proof! | 0:22:24 | 0:22:25 | |
And this from one of my senior employees. What is your job title? | 0:22:25 | 0:22:31 | |
Well, I was check-in assistant but as of this afternoon I am now check-in manager. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:35 | |
The check-in manager herself has said it. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:39 | |
So, please, everybody, take picture of happy boss and happy staff member. OK? | 0:22:39 | 0:22:45 | |
It's half past five | 0:23:00 | 0:23:02 | |
and, over in the Great British Air first class lounge, | 0:23:02 | 0:23:06 | |
Moses believes he may have found a solution to Anna Friel's hairy situation. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:10 | |
-How are you settling in, Miss Friel, all right? -Yep. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:13 | |
Have you been offered a small glass of orange juice and a complimentary browse of the Daily Mail? | 0:23:13 | 0:23:18 | |
-Yes, I have. -Now, about the wig. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
-It's...good and bad news. -Right. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
The bad news is, they can't find your wig. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
-Really? -They've looked everywhere. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
A thousand apologies. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:29 | |
The good news is that lost property do have a box of wigs that have been left here over the years. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:34 | |
-No-one's claimed them and you're welcome to have one. -Well, I suppose it's worth having a look. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:38 | |
Okey-dokey. Lets have a rummage, if you pardon the pun. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
Right, what have we got here? | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
Oh, yes, how about this one? | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
I'm known more as a brunette really. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
You're absolutely right, Miss Friel. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
What else have we got? Oh, yes. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
How about this one? You be the judge. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
"If you'll pardon the pun." Ha-ha-ha-ha. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
There's no pun there. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
-Can I be frank, Miss Friel? -Of course. -It ages you. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:09 | |
Don't worry, we'll find something. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:13 | |
Several hours have passed since the photographers had their argument, but Buster is still at the airport. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:21 | |
I've got nowhere else to go. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:24 | |
I've spent nearly every day for the past 25 years with him. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
HE WHEEZES | 0:24:27 | 0:24:28 | |
This is my life, | 0:24:28 | 0:24:31 | |
and my life is with Mickey. | 0:24:31 | 0:24:33 | |
Mickey too is struggling to cope on his own. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:39 | |
Don't seem right somehow, being here on my own. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
I miss him, course I do. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
Mickey's a part of me. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
He's the blood that runs through my veins. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
I feel like I've lost a limb. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
It was never me, it was always we. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
-He's my rock. -He's my coat in the winter. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
He's the brown sauce on my sausage. | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
He's the sweetener in my tea. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
He's a juicy ripe apple on a summer's day. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
He's my father, he's my son. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
He's my brother, | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
he's my sister. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:10 | |
He's the reason I get up in the morning. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
He's simply...Buster. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
If I had to sum him up in one word, I'd say... | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
HE WHEEZES | 0:25:18 | 0:25:19 | |
..Mickey. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
Anyone sitting here? | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
No. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
How's it going, then? | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
Fine. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
Great. Never been better. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
I miss ya. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
I miss you too. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
Well...what say we go and take some photographs of some celebrities looking tired, then, eh? | 0:25:47 | 0:25:54 | |
Yeah! | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
-Oh, no, you can't, can you, because you're not allowed to take photos any more, are you? -No. -Mm. | 0:25:56 | 0:26:02 | |
But I can come and watch! | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
-Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
It's 7pm, and Melody is digesting the news of Keeley's promotion to check-in manager. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:21 | |
Oh, it's a great feeling, I'm dead made up. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
I'm not surprised I got the job, but I'm just glad they gave it to me on merit. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:28 | |
Oh, so the fact that you supported Omar in his sexual harassment case had nothing to do with it? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:32 | |
-No. I think if anything that counted against me. -How do you work that out? | 0:26:32 | 0:26:36 | |
All right, Melody, I think you need to get back to your desk, there's some passengers need checkin' in. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:41 | |
Quickly! | 0:26:43 | 0:26:44 | |
She can be very lax. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
Less of the attitude, please. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
It's the end of another hard day's work, but everyone will be back tomorrow. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:59 | |
The battle re-enactors realised the utter futility of what they were doing, and immediately stopped. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:07 | |
Bobo had a rather unproductive shift. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:10 | |
All he sniffed out was a Jaffa Cake and a copy of Jilly Cooper's Polo. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:14 | |
And Moses saved the day for Anna Friel. | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
Miss Friel, you've never looked lovelier. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
-All right, bye-bye. -Bye-bye. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
Thank you. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:25 | |
Every inch a star. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:29 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd - 2007 | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:27:54 | 0:27:55 |