Episode 8 World's Craziest Fools

The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.

Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,

you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.

Last year, Mr T went on a mission.

He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools -

those people with a lack of common sense,

a terrifying disregard for health and safety

and whose favourite questions is, "What's the worst that can happen?"

And you loved it. But now you want more,

and you want them crazier and even more foolish,

so once again Mr T has delivered an array

of the world's least talented people.

This is the World's Craziest Fools -

Return of the Fools.

Oh! "Fool - a noun.

"Wanting in wisdom, judgment or sense.

"A person of weak mind. A buffoon."

Also, a person who head-butts a table,

or a person who skateboards into a wall,

or a person who drives his car into a swimming pool.

In fact, if you really want to know what a fool is,

throw your dictionary away and just watch the rest of this show.

First up, we're looking at some stupid stuff people do

when they get themselves on wheels.

It'll break your heart,

and if you try to copy them,

it'll break your arm, your leg, and your collar bone too.

Observe!

First up, France.

Smooth move, sucker!

The next ramp you'll be going up will be outside the hospital.

Here comes another chump, USA style.

Next time you want to get into your car, try using a door, fool.

Next up, Spain.

The pain in Spain falls mainly on your brain.

France.

This guy and the quad bike have been through some good times

and some bad times. This is one of the bad times.

But they have got through their problems

and now they are having a little cuddle.

That is nice to see.

When you're hanging out with fools,

you've got to do something special to stand out.

This guy is truly outstanding.

Now watch this stupid move.

That's the cycling equivalent of putting your finger into a socket.

CYCLIST GROANS

VIDEO REWINDS

Either this is one tough bike, or the wall is made of cheese.

It's probably a little from column A

and little from column B.

This skateboard wants out of this relationship.

Looks like it got out just in time.

Ukraine-ia. Did God give us wheels on our feet? No, he did not.

But imagine if he had.

This kid is living in that world.

Everything would be like, "Whoo! Whee! Yeah!"

This jerk is wearing a blue hat,

so we all know he's a fool.

Listen, you fool, your card is marked!

The People's Republic of Russia.

This cyclist is trying to sneak under a gate.

Can he do it?

Negative.

Who you shouting at, sucker?

That's like blaming someone else for punching yourself in the face.

A fool in a forest flies into a tree on a moped.

Does it make a sound?

Yes, it's the sound of an "Ouch!"

You've heard of the point of no return.

It's a mile or so back down the road, sucker.

Look at this lady.

She's having so much fun, she's smiling like a Loony Tune.

It almost makes the bit where she landed on her butt worth it.

Unless you are a butt.

This skater ain't got much going on upstairs.

Nice work, brainbox.

Maybe you should go back to school and learn your ABCs -

Always Be Cool.

It ain't just this guy's skills that need tightening up.

Fools are drawn to water the same way moths are drawn to flame.

Although moths get burnt more often.

Over to Spain...

-CYCLIST SCREAMS

-..for some more pain.

Lucky for this guy, this is a hospital.

Now all he's got to do is wait for it to open.

Join the back of the queue, sucker!

What has four legs, great agility

and always lands on his feet?

Me, with two extra legs.

Also, cats.

Here are some fools who had their photos taken with cats

and my rules to help them improve.

Mr T's rules for feline photo fools.

Rule one - never buy a cat with a bigger head than yours.

Certainly don't buy two angry ones. It's just common sense.

Oh, yeah, and then don't have your photo taken with them.

Rule two - they say a leopard can't change its spots,

but a cameraman can change his pants.

Rule three - holding your child near a tiger for a photo opportunity

is the big cat equivalent of fast food delivery.

Rule four - they also say that cats always land on their feet.

It's not always true. Some end up with owners like this.

And finally, rule five -

It is not unusual to have your cat stuffed after its death.

The outside of the cat, however, is key to this endeavour.

If you run a business, you should avoid hiring any fools.

If you're going to give a fool a job,

make sure it's something simple,

like standing still, or guarding a hat.

Here are some fools that were given too much responsibility.

Albani-ania.

How many fools does it take to dig a hole?

Answer - four.

One to dig the hole,

two to do whatever it is that those guys are doing,

and one to see that they're doing it wrong.

Job done.

Georgia, USA.

If you want a fool to clear the snow from the top of a car park,

be sure to add, "Don't smash the plough through the top floor."

Give them very clear instructions.

This truck has tipped on to one side

and now they're putting it the right way up.

I think it's time to remove that "How's my driving?" sticker.

How do you know if your cleaner is doing too good of a job?

When this happens.

Nice work, cleaner, but bad work too.

Have a pay raise and pack your things.

This fool is so stupid.

He thought he was being hired to dump mud all over himself.

Next time, read the terms of your employment.

This clip was brought to you by the letters A and E.

LAUGHTER

You've got to get up pretty early in the morning...

HE SCREAMS

..to do something more stupid than this guy.

This went wrong the day he was born.

Ain't you ever heard of physics, fool?

If you can't read Russian,

the sign on that gate says, "Pull."

That guy can't read Russian.

This mechanic can't pop the hood on the car.

This lady clearly knows more about engines than this guy.

And a tin opener knows more about engines than him.

Someone get her a tin opener!

Russia.

Here comes the store security guard.

I'm not sure this fool should be given a gun,

until he can get through a barrier.

This is why truck drivers should never go on a diet.

Ladies and gentlemen, something amazing just happened.

I've just worked out the meaning of life.

I was sitting here thinking about something else,

then all of a suddenly, it came to me.

I could tell you, but it's long and boring,

so here's some clips of fools jumping off roofs and stuff instead.

The first step is always the trickiest.

The second one's tricky too.

Actually, all the steps are tricky if you're walking on posts.

Someone tell this kid where the gate is.

There's a chump in every school.

This one's a grade A chump.

He's OK.

Don't worry, son.

You can think about your apology in the ambulance.

Do you see this?

This is why I tell people don't try this at home.

Because when you try this at home, this happens.

Fools have a saying,

"If at first you DO succeed...

"..keep going until you fall into the river."

This guy is trying to use a piece of playground equipment to hurt

himself in a surprising way.

Unsurprisingly, he succeeded.

Next up, this happens.

Ooh, you...!

Right. What's next?

The following is a true story.

A police officer called to the scene of a domestic dispute

decided that the only way to bring the situation to a swift end

was to use his Taser gun on the husband and the woman who called.

With his gun at the ready, he prepared to shoot.

His first shot missed the man

and instead managed to hit the family cat.

The second shot also missed and this time hit the son's teenage friend.

He missed again with the third shot but, on the upside,

he had managed to avoid hitting any innocent bystanders.

With the Taser gun now empty, the officer reloaded

and prepared to fire again.

In a triumph for marksmanship, he hit himself with shot four.

Shots five and six then hit the ceiling and after fully discharging

the weapon twice and failing to hit the man once, the policeman

finally abandoned the Taser and reached for the pepper spray.

This safety first approach also failed as he managed to

discharge it in the face of the man's daughter,

who had just walked in.

Eventually realising that this policeman was doing more

damage than he ever could, the man decided to give himself up.

There are all kinds of fools in the world.

Old fools, young fools, tall fools,

small fools, fat fools, thin fools.

They all got one thing in common.

I could kick all their butts,

and that's exactly what I'm going to do, one fool at a time.

Here's some fools high on my butt-kicking list.

France, and look at this panda standing upright

and walking along the street.

That is the problem with nature, it is evolving so fast.

That's right, lady. You be scared.

There is a time and a place for karate.

The time is not now and the place is not here.

There are also people who were built for karate. She is not one of them.

Fool versus a piece of wood. No contest.

Wood wins by knockout.

Those desks are for learning.

She just learned not to do that again.

Next up, some monkey business at the basketball court.

It should come as no surprise

that these guys lost their game of basketball.

Hey, who wants to join me for a game of stupid?

That's how you win in stupid.

Finland.

Looks like the welcome home party

is going to have to be in the face hospital.

I've got to be careful watching all of these fools.

Their stupidity might rub off on me.

I'll become guilty by association.

I hope you've taken that out of his wages, sucker.

Baseball lesson number one - positioning.

Don't position the baseball game in front of a window.

BOY SCREAMS

All right!

This guy makes me sad and angry all at the same time.

He's not treating his bike right.

He's not treating other road users right.

He ain't even treating his shoes right.

You look too old to be drinking soda, never mind playing with it.

THEY SCREAM

LAUGHTER

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Back in the '80s, I invented something called running.

It was a simple idea. Getting from A to B quicker.

I'm amazed no-one had thought of it before.

Nowadays, people are doing it all over the world.

Some fools even try to do it indoors.

Take a look at this.

If you are not enjoying your treadmill,

you can disassemble it and take it back to the shop.

If you are disassembling it, you might want to get off it first.

Wall, meet fool.

Fool, meet wall.

Some people say you got to go backwards to go forwards.

Don't listen to them.

You want to go forwards, go forwards.

It's simple, really.

Here comes another fool.

This guy sucks so bad, it's making me mad.

BEHIND CAMERA: Oh, my God!

You're supposed to use your feet on a treadmill.

That's page one of the instruction manual.

They cover pogo sticks on page two, sucker.

It's a very short entry.

Stilts is on page 57.

But even if you don't get that far,

it's pretty obvious.

This kid is so unhappy with his treadmill, he's down on his knees.

I'm not sure that's making things better for him.

Why do fools always feel the need to show off?

If I was a fool, I would be hiding where no-one could see me.

Like up a tree, or behind a rock, or on ITV2.

Indonesia.

This guy's using a motorcycle to get to his destination.

He could've just walked. It wasn't that far anyway.

I like this guy.

He's still at the age where it's OK to be this dumb.

That is a painful way to impress zero people.

Do you want to say some last words?

This French sucker is about to learn a lesson.

You need to pay for every journey you make.

Maybe not with money, but you always pay.

Water skiing. This guy really got the bit between his teeth.

It's easy to make jokes like that about fools.

I can do it for hours.

Come around and see me when the show is finished.

We can keep going.

Might be best if you just stick to the lightweights,

rather than the one with an entire house attached.

Next up, rock fool.

Quick, somebody, throw the singer's microphone away too!

Acting class.

The best thing I learned when I was acting was

never smash your face against a table.

Now he knows it. This kid's going all the way.

This man is wearing the red hat of shame.

It reminds us, lest we ever forget what a fool is.

I think it's unlikely we would forget.

This man is not wearing a red hat of shame,

but that's only because the people of his village

haven't got around to giving it to him yet.

There'll be a big ceremony sometime soon.

Imagine saving up all year to go on holiday

only to have this guy as your neighbour for two weeks.

Refund!

How are you doing? Need a bathroom break?

Tough! Hold it in!

It's time for some learning at my School For Fools!

Hello, and welcome to Mr T's School For Fools.

Today's lesson is home economics.

What is home economics?

It's cooking.

Cooking is taking ingredients

and putting them together to make something delicious.

Here are some examples of ingredients.

Chicken, fried chicken, roast chicken,

chicken wings, chicken nuggets.

Those are all the ingredients.

Now you know that, you're ready to start cooking.

Watch this guy.

That's how you DON'T do cooking.

End of lesson. Class dismissed.

Everyone knows that cars have five wheels.

Four for driving on, and one for steering with.

Here are some clips of reckless fools who can only count to four.

This is so stupid, I feel stupid on stupid fumes.

I have no idea where this is

and I have no idea what they're driving,

but I like it and I want to go.

Russia. How do you know when your engine's flooded?

If you find fish in your glove compartment, your engine is flooded.

Don't worry, he's OK.

Classic U-turn now.

You turn into a moron.

-BEHIND CAMERA: Oh, no!

-Hey, chump.

BEHIND CAMERA: No!

Did you see the road the camera guy used?

Use that road!

Learning to drive is easy.

Mirror, signal...

..smash two other cars to pieces.

Congratulations, you passed!

The guy on the left seems pretty happy with his ramp.

But then, it's not his car, so what does he care?

That's the end of the show.

In fact, it's the end of the series.

It's been a great ride, hasn't it?

We have laughed, we have cried,

I've talked, you've listened,

and now it's over.

Just remember, life move fast, enjoy it while it lasts.

Top hat!

Cane!

Cue the music!

MUSIC BEGINS

Yeah. Thanks for the memories.

Thank you, y'all. Hey! Move!

So long, suckers. See you next time.

Mmm!

-# I'm a fool

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# To love you

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# I'm a fool

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# To care

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# But I know some day

-# Ahh-ahh-ahh

-# You'll be a fool just like me

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# Just like me

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# I'm a fool

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# To cry my heart out

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# Over someone

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# Like you

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# But I know some, some day, baby

-# Ahh-ahh-ahh

-# You'll be a fool just like me

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# Just like me

-# Oh, oh, yes

-# I'm a fool

-# Doo-doo-doo

# To want you... #

Boo!