Joining the Club Meet the Lords

One of the weird things about this place is...

-Only one?

-Again, my Lord.

..when people come down, I'll say good morning to them,

even though now it's just after two o'clock,

because in the House here it's morning until prayers are read.

-Morning, my Lord.

-Good afternoon.

Still morning, my Lord. Till prayers are read.

Morning.

As political elites everywhere go up in flames,

one place remains untouched.

Welcome to the Lords.

Mother always used to say, "It's ridiculous, the House of Lords

"never does anything." Well, I mean, that isn't actually true.

Fair exchange. An iPad for a sword.

In a TV first, we filmed behind the scenes in a turbulent year,

which has seen the nation in chaos..

..and the Lords on a war footing with the Government.

Division!

They want to cart us off, lock us up and tell us to shut up.

Made my first vote.

At a time when the political rule book is being torn up,

is there still a place for this very British institution?

Woe betide them if the Government should ever

take the House of Lords for granted.

Morning, my Lord. Morning, my Lord.

Hello.

Hello, my Lord.

Maybe then I should have told the Lord Bishop that it's still morning

till prayers are read cos he is one of the ones

who does read the prayers, and he should really know that, but...

We'll see if that comes back!

It's terribly like being at school.

You get given a locker and you get given a clothes peg, and I'm always

immensely proud. I was able to keep my great-grandfather's sign,

which says L Palmer.

And you can see that all the rest are sort of white,

whereas mine dates from 1933.

The Lords' day starts with a procession overseen by one of the

House's senior officials, known as Black Rod.

The daily rigmarole of getting dressed for the procession -

I can do it in just five minutes if I'm pressed and running late.

I never thought I'd get expert at putting stockings or tights on,

but once you've mastered the art, it's not difficult.

You just have to be careful you don't push your foot

carelessly through the sides.

And I've now discovered what denier they are

when you go to replace them in the stores.

Lords gather in the chamber, ready for business.

Once, they were aristocrats who had a seat here because of their title.

Now just 92 hereditary peers remain

among the more than 800 who have a seat here.

Many are ghosts from the House of Commons,

appointed by the Prime Minister of the day.

There are three former Cabinet ministers over there. It's like

Thatcher's Cabinet suddenly all sitting together once again.

This is known as the Conservative Privy Counsellors' bench,

and it tends to be former Cabinet ministers, yes.

You've got people who've got long-standing political experience,

people who have got long-standing experience outside

the political arena, you've got people who may well be part of

the patronage of the government of the day,

rewarded for either keeping their mouth shut or opening their mouth

or their purse at a particular moment in time.

Far too many people have been put in here as a sort of personal reward,

and you wouldn't have imagined Mrs Thatcher

wanting to give a peerage to Denis Thatcher's tailor, or something

like that, but we've come pretty close to that in recent years.

-Good morning, my Lord.

-Morning.

Once peers have a seat, it's theirs for life,

however long that life might be.

Lord Carrington just went in there.

He is, I believe, the eldest peer. 96, almost 97.

-Morning.

-Morning, my Lord.

A lot of them, although they are old,

they're still fantastic speakers. Their minds are great,

they've got a wealth of knowledge and a lifetime of experience,

but unfortunately their bodies are going before their minds,

so they look a lot more frail than they actually are.

You don't want to be on the wrong end of a tongue-lashing

from some of them, that's for sure.

The majority of lords are over 70, and some are over 90.

It is the best day-care centre for the elderly in London.

Families can drop in him or her,

make sure that the staff look after them very well,

there'll be nice meals subsidised by the taxpayer,

and they can have a snooze in the chamber in the afternoon,

or in the library.

Paddy.

-Hello.

-I'll do you a fair exchange. An iPad for a sword.

For five minutes each day, the 21st century is put on hold.

Constantly asked whether I'd ever use it on anybody and the answer is,

of course I'd think of using it,

but only consistent with what the law allows.

It is a very dangerous weapon.

It's extremely sharp on the end of it, and I don't think I'd hesitate

if there was some miscreant or delinquent.

Lord Speaker!

The point of the procession,

it marks a transition between the House being used as it was today,

probably close to 1,000 tourists...

My Lords, the Lord Speaker!

..1,000 tourists coming through,

and now we're going into serious legislation.

The ceremony is just absolutely ridiculous.

But having said that, it's like Britain is good at fancy dress.

That's what we do.

My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the Lord Speaker.

It should be a special place. It is the country's legislature.

It's part of the distinctiveness, not just of Parliament, by the way,

but of Britain.

Part of our identity.

It's March 2016.

The Government's flagship bill on housing is dividing the nation.

The Government says it will help solve the housing shortage

by increasing ownership.

Kill, kill the housing bill.

Kill, kill the housing bill. Kill, kill the housing bill.

Opponents say it will make the vulnerable homeless

by cutting social housing.

It's a horrible, horrible, horrible piece of legislation,

attacking a social class of people. It needs to be thrown out,

at least watered-down, because it's absolutely disgraceful.

Kill, kill the housing bill. Kill, kill the housing bill.

The bill has sailed through the Commons,

only the unelected lords now have the power to change it.

The housing bill is one of many pieces of legislation

which comes from the Commons. The Lords' job is to try and improve it

by drafting amendments.

That looks like it.

Sorry.

We take all of the nonsense, rubbish legislation -

and some of it is rubbish -

that comes down from the other end of the building in the Commons,

and it disappears inside the House of Lords for six months

while we work on it, line by line, clause by clause, and we improve it.

I look at what the Lords does and what the Commons does, and the

comparative legislative chaos that is being sent from the Commons

to the Lords, and I genuinely think,

thank God the Lords are there to do the serious work without just being

inundated with the political point-scoring.

We're a bit like a composting machine.

Whatever comes out the other end is always more fragrant

and more fertile than what went in.

So, you see, we're really, in the House of Lords,

we're really just Parliamentary worms.

Most amendments are uncontroversial.

But if the lords can't agree, a vote is called.

Division!

A defeat for the Government will hold up the bill, and in rare cases,

could even finish it for good.

This year, the Government faces a tough battle.

The opposition in the Commons is in disarray,

but in the Lords, Labour and Lib Dem peers outnumber the Government.

The only place that there is a regular challenge to the executive

by Parliament is in the House of Lords.

It's a very unique situation.

The leadership of the Government are reacting quite badly.

They're annoyed, they're angry that they can't automatically

get their business through.

Conservative peer Lord Borwick is a party whip.

His job is to push the housing bill through the Lords

without too many changes.

This is gossip central.

This is the place where the information,

at least from the Government's side, arrives,

and I can distribute it to the Conservative peers.

There are far more Liberal Democrats and Labour peers than there are

Conservatives, but if we can keep our group together we can win votes

that we would otherwise lose.

We are also known as the Department of Dirty Tricks,

of which Lord Borwick, of course, is the Chief Executive.

And what are you?

The water carrier?

I'm a mere journeyman.

The housing bill is not half complex.

It's our job as a party whip to push it through, albeit a portfolio,

an enormous, heavy suitcase.

Never mind we've got this suitcase,

we've got to carry it over the line and, therefore,

as we get towards the end of the session,

it's going to get more and more intense.

Lord Borwick got his seat in the Lords

through a very unusual by-election.

When a hereditary peer dies or retires,

remaining hereditaries vote on a replacement.

Only those with an inherited title can apply.

The first time I stood, I got no votes at all.

Nil points. And you very seldom see a politician prepared to admit that

he stood for election and got no votes.

But I did, and I stood again, and I won the election.

And it's been a really invigorating, enormous fun occupation.

And I've never worked so hard for so little pay in my life.

I think that must be baffling to people abroad that the only elected

people in the second chamber are the hereditaries.

What a wonderful story. That's the Ealing comedy that was never made.

Do I deserve this place?

Absolutely not. Am I jolly grateful that I've got it?

Absolutely. And I hope now I've been working hard enough to reckon that

other people might think I deserve it.

Baroness King is a former Labour MP.

She's been fighting the Government in the Lords for five years.

She'd like to see radical changes to the housing bill.

It's basically saying if you cannot afford market rent,

you're on your own. I find it genuinely disgusting that, you know,

people can just thoughtlessly put this sort of legislation through

that leads to people on the streets.

But first, there is an office move to be done.

Well, I used to be in that office, then in this one.

-Hello, my love.

-And he was... You see?

He was who I used to spend my days with, but now he's expelled me.

Tell them where you expelled me, Dennis?

-Across the road.

-Across the road, because basically,

if you can walk without need of a Zimmer frame, you're out.

-Isn't that the truth?

-Well, you could come back.

Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute.

-But it's true, isn't it?

-Is that the reason he gave you, was it?

That's the reason he gave me.

Come back on the front bench and you can have your desk back.

All right, thanks, Dennis. Yeah, I'll work on that.

SHE LAUGHS

There are roughly 200 female peers,

a quarter of the total number of lords.

Baroness King was offered a peerage twice

before she accepted the honour.

For me, personally,

I didn't want to come in to the House of Lords to start with because

it's just not really my cup of tea.

But I appreciate that it's an incredible privilege to be able to

go and argue with the people that decide Britain's laws.

Wait. Amongst the bags and the shoes...here...

Ta-da! Margaret Thatcher with an Afro.

It means I'm at home in my office.

She inspired me to go into politics.

-Really?

-I hated her so much I had to get involved.

But with an Afro... then she's allowed in my office.

In the countdown to the big hearing on the housing bill,

both Government and opposition will try to build alliances.

In the lords' dining room, peers mingle at the long table.

They can't choose who they sit next to.

This is where the actress speaks to the bishop.

It is mandatory to sit next to the last person who sat down.

So you may find yourself sitting next to a bishop, or to

a Labour peer, or to a distinguished former Cabinet Minister.

There is no doubt that the long table in this room is actually where

this country is governed from.

We like to think so, anyway.

There are all sorts of different peers, you know.

I mean, there are men peers, women peers.

There are life peers and hereditary peers.

But there are those that eat and those that don't.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Oh, wonderful, thank you.

I particularly favour the milk puddings.

It's like being back at school.

I think it just turns on a sort of virtuous circle.

Oh, really?

In the palace kitchens below, a former employee is paying a visit.

This part of the kitchen is where all the preparation is done.

And then, the most important part

is our team of stewards, who are all are happy guys down the end there.

-So, come say hello.

-Yeah.

-Guys...

-Hello there.

-..this is Lord Bird.

He used to be a steward in the terrace kitchen,

and now he sits in the House of Lords.

So there is opportunity for all of us, I would say.

I was the washer-up!

You know that after two weeks, they asked me to go?

-Did they?

-And that's because I was a member

or a supporter of a very mad left-wing organisation.

I was trying to destroy capitalism.

-Right.

-So I'd be trying to talk the stewards and the...

-A revolution?

-Yeah!

Comrades! Anyway, there was an important woman who would say to me,

"If you don't like it here, you can always bugger off to Russia!"

And I'd say,

"Yeah, but they'd shoot me before they'd shoot anybody else."

And then she'd say, "I don't care.

"Dead or alive, I don't want you in the kitchen."

-Well, you're back now in a different guise.

-Yes.

Big Issue founder and housing campaigner John Bird has just

been made a people's peer, chosen by an independent panel to bring

a wider range of experience to the House.

He knows what it means to be out on the streets.

I spent my childhood and early manhood

in the juvenile delinquent system.

Stealing bikes, breaking into shops. It led to me being homeless,

on the run, it was my kind of mind-set.

I was just so outside of society.

So outside of my family.

Lord Palmer's housing challenge is maintaining his 110-room mansion

and its 50 acres of garden.

Along with his title and his seat in the Lords,

he inherited an estate on the Scottish border.

His family have lived in the house for 100 years.

When John Kinross, the architect, asked my great-great-uncle,

"How much can I spend?"

my great-great-uncle said, "It doesn't really matter."

An architect's dream come true.

The final build was £225,000,

which was a huge amount of money in those days.

It's difficult to put an exact figure now,

but probably in the region of 400 million,

which is an awful lot of money for a roof over your head.

Well, every house in Britain likes to have a USP,

and Manderston, being relatively modern, our USP -

unique selling point - is this amazing silver staircase.

It was modelled on the staircase in Le Petit Trianon

at the Palace of Versailles.

But theirs is not silver.

As far as we know, this is the only silver staircase in the world.

Well, this is the dining room.

And the picture on the right there, that is the first Lord Palmer.

And he helped found the Royal College of Music.

There's a tremendous swell of opinion that because I had a very,

very distinguished great-grandfather

that it's rather idiotic that I now have a place in Parliament.

But not every system is always absolutely fool free,

and most of us really do take our role very seriously.

For 27 years, the House of Lords has been his other home.

Most hereditaries were kicked out in 1999,

but the aristocrats were allowed to elect 90 of their own to remain.

It was very much my children who said,

"Oh, you must stand for election,

"because you seem to enjoy it, and you're quite good at it."

So I did. One of the reasons I didn't want to stand was,

I was so petrified of yet another failure.

I mean, I got kicked out of every school I ever went to because

I was incredibly stupid.

He sits in the House as a crossbencher, one of nearly 200

independent peers who don't belong to a political party.

A lot of people who come in come in with a lifetime's accumulated

experience of...it might be defence,

the law, policing, the health service,

higher education and universities.

By and large, crossbenchers being 186, I think we are now,

we slightly hold the balance of power

because, at the moment, if, of course,

the Liberal Democrats and the Labour Party gang up together, the

Government doesn't have any chance of getting anything through at all.

If the votes on the housing bill are close,

the crossbenchers could decide the outcome.

Their newest member is Lord Bird.

I'd like to welcome Lord Bird, whose first time to our meeting this is.

The worry about this is, when you come to look at the bill,

you'll see...

Labour MP John Healey is trying to convince the crossbenchers

to support the opposition on the housing bill.

I have to say, in the House of Commons, we made our arguments,

we lost the vote.

And we failed to get the improvements to the bill that

we wanted to see as we went through the House of Commons.

And many people are looking to your House now,

and your judgments are going to be so important in the way this bill

is dealt with and this legislation is, potentially, improved.

The crossbenchers really are the pivotal peers.

The session we've been able to have today is crucial in making sure

that the critical group within the House of Lords has a sense of

the legislation in front of them.

Becoming a lord is trying to become more useful.

People join the House for other reasons,

but I've joined it to be useful. That's my interest.

Before John Bird can influence Government housing policy,

he must be formally sworn in.

All I need you to do is put your left shoulder towards me, please.

Slip that over your head...

If you give me your left arm...

I'm really glad I'm in the House of Lords.

I don't think only the privileged should be allowed in.

Garter King of Arms is the Queen's most senior herald.

His job description hasn't changed for 400 years.

Since 1621, in James I's reign,

it is Garter's responsibility to come here

and introduce the peer.

Right arm through there.

It's quite a heavy object, and it does up with the hooks.

It's literally a coat of arms, so you've got three lions of England,

the single lion of Scotland and the harp for Ireland.

It's a bit tight at the moment,

as you can see, but it was made for my predecessor.

I've worn it, yes, 58 introductions this year,

but, of course, I do two a day.

And then this is Garter's sceptre.

What's that for?

Well, I suppose heralds since medieval times have carried a wand

or rod of authority. I mean, just as Black Rod carries a rod.

Right, we're going, I'm holding everybody up.

People are understandably nervous,

because you want to do the ceremony as well as possible,

although it's a simple ceremony and only lasts about five minutes.

The ones that everybody remembers are the ones that go wrong.

I, John, Lord Bird,

do swear by Almighty God that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance

to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, her heirs and successors,

according to law, so help me God.

It was harder than I thought. And I'm really glad it's short and over!

One of the Big Issue vendors said to me,

"Remember, you're not there for yourself. You're there for others."

If you go through Parliament for the next five, ten years,

and you become richer and fatter,

that's not the purpose.

The purpose is to kind of

represent the interests of those who are still stuck in the sticky stuff.

John Bird has joined what some consider

Britain's oldest and most exclusive club.

You've got your parking space, right? You've got the restaurant

and the bar. Nice to bring friends in, say hello.

This is where they nip down for a meal and a drink and a chat,

and, "I'm in the House of Lords."

I mean, pretty well everybody knows where anybody's going to be

at any particular time. And I had a very,

very close friend who I know went into the Peers' Guest Room

at quarter to 12 every day and had a gin and tonic.

And I then knew that I'd be able to find him in the Bishop's Bar

at quarter past 12, having a glass of red wine and a sandwich.

Barry, can you give the table a quick look round as well?

Unlike other clubs, members can claim money to be here,

but they are expected to work.

Peers don't have a salary,

but can get up to £300 a day in expenses once they are signed in.

I remember when I was a seaman and unemployed,

it was called the job centre,

and if you wanted to get your unemployment money you ticked on,

and if you didn't get there, you didn't get it.

That's exactly what they've got here.

If you think that, today, a high-powered accountant or lawyer

is probably charging £600 an hour,

that we get £300 a day,

the press outcry, if we had a tiny rise would be, I mean,

just absolutely intolerable.

There is a core of peers who work incredibly hard, who do that work,

and there are, sad to say, many, many, many peers

who contribute absolutely nothing, but who claim the full allowance.

I can remember one occasion when I was leaving the House quite late,

and there was a peer, who shall be utterly nameless, who jumped out of

a taxi just outside the peers' entrance, left the engine running,

he ran in, presumably to show that he'd attended,

and then ran out again while the taxi was still running.

So, I mean, that's not normal,

but it is something that does happen,

and I think that we have lost the sense of honour

that used to pertain,

and that is a great, great shame.

-NEWS REPORT:

-Our main story -

hundreds of people are marching in London today

to protest against the Government's housing bill.

The proposed law...

As well as tackling the housing bill,

Baroness King is fighting for a cause even closer to home.

The routine is a little bit haphazard.

Kyle, you haven't done your piano practice.

It's our new rule. Come on.

'I have four children, three of whom are adopted.'

Keep up!

'Adoption means that even when you cannot have children,

'you can have children,

'and so it means the difference between having a family'

and not having a family.

To me, it is just... It's my life.

It means everything to me.

Adoption is a gruelling process, I suppose.

It depends where you're coming from.

We'd just done, over a period of, like, eight years,

seven failed IVFs. So adoption...

Yeah, you want to get down? OK.

Adoption didn't seem that bad to me.

Come on!

She's worried the Government's Children and Social Work Bill

will make it harder for families to adopt

-by capping the amount of benefit they can claim.

-As a politician,

you've got to choose which battles you're going to fight.

The child benefit issue is a really small thing. It's literally, like,

loose change down the back of the sofa for the Government.

But for the kids, it's their lives.

That's why I get particularly enraged,

because it's such a small thing,

but it would have such a big impact.

She wants to amend the law

to exempt all adopted children from benefit cap.

Lords can exercise power by lobbying their neighbours in the Commons.

She's meeting two MPs to get their support.

So we're just going to go to some weird little Lords room.

Carpeted wallpaper.

I know. It's very posh. You don't get that in B&Q, do you?

I think you've probably still got posh wallpaper!

Oh, look at this. Another nice chandelier.

Wow.

So, the reason that I've called you two power women here is because

I wondered if you could help

with something that I've been grappling with.

Basically, to work out who is the best person to lobby.

You know the DWP team,

you know the children's lot,

and so, between the two of you,

I thought you'd be able to point me in the right direction.

We really need to put the pressure on the Government side.

Being in the Lords, I definitely don't have, in theory,

the power I had as an MP.

But it's amazing what you can do just by having the platform.

So as a Labour lord, as you saw,

I've got all my Labour MPs that will try and help me,

and I'll try and help them.

The other thing for lobbying,

getting new MPs and old MPs on board,

is, again, going through the constituent route.

That is a really good idea.

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

Those are two exceptional MPs. Between the two of them,

I have every confidence that my sisters

are going to sort out the men.

Lord Palmer is doing some lobbying of his own.

Those used to be our television room,

which had the most lovely, comfortable chairs in it,

and to watch big sporting events like Wimbledon or Cheltenham races,

or whatever.

And I came in here the other day and was amazed to find that

it had been turned into an office.

As you know, we're very, very short of space

and a lot of the new members do want a desk,

but I've never, ever seen these desks occupied,

which does seem really rather extraordinary.

And I actually put down a written question about this.

Why has the television room closed down

and will there be an alternative venue cited?

And I was told in no uncertain terms,

no, there will not be an alternative venue.

As well as pushing the housing bill through the Lords,

Lord Borwick is a multimillionaire property developer.

His new estate is 2,600 homes.

Getting the planning permission took about ten years

and cost about £4 million in professional fees.

Part of the reasons

was the complexity of the planning process,

so anything I can do to make it better, make it simpler,

would be better for the future.

The housing bill is needed

because we've got a shortage of houses in the country,

and that means people cannot get to the housing

that they'd like to have.

We've got to make planning simpler.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Is there a conflict of interest, as someone building

a large housing estate and someone that has a say on the housing bill?

There is a difficult line to be trod

and we must always declare our interests,

and let other people judge

whether our interests are affecting what we say.

The Lords get some of its strength from its experience.

Registering an interest in debate is saying,

"Hang on, guys, I know what I'm talking about here."

I am using my expertise to make the bill better,

not to make myself money out of this.

Housing is also a subject close

to homeless campaigner Lord Bird's heart.

I've been up since about three,

and it's now, what, about 8.30? 8.40?

I couldn't sleep.

But before he can contribute to debates,

he has to give a maiden speech.

My noble Lords and Ladies,

thank you for this opportunity to make my maiden speech.

-You didn't bring one?

-No.

It doesn't... I can always do it somewhere else.

It's a great opportunity to say something cogent and meaningful,

and that you can build on.

But whether or not it comes out the way I want it, we'll see, won't we?

Lord Bird has to address a house stuffed with political grandees,

pillars of the Establishment, and the aristocracy.

I thought they were very brave taking me.

I don't know if I would take me!

Cos, you know, I'm a bit of a wild card

and I'm often inappropriate.

He will have to win round

people from a very different background to his own.

Next to the House of Lords is a garden called Victoria Gardens.

I used to sleep rough there.

I'd climb the fence and sleep on one of the benches

or down in the corner.

Oh, just there?

Making one's maiden speech, it's quite a frightening ordeal...

..and I put an incredible amount of work into mine.

I think I practised it and rewrote it... I think it was 98 times.

Some people make their maiden speeches now terribly quickly,

which I personally think is a shame,

because you want to get the mood of the House.

I had a friend who didn't make a maiden speech for 44 years!

It was very much waiting...

It was very good when it did eventually come

but it's quite a long time to wait for your maiden speech.

You can be sliced up without realising it.

There's no place in the world

that equals the House of Lords for the use of courtesy as a weapon.

Is it just water, or do you want gin and tonic? Gin and tonic?

No, no, no!

Definitely not!

When a maiden speech is made,

members are expected to remain in their seats.

And the other thing is, it should not be controversial.

Thank you.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Excuse me. I've got a bit of a frog.

Someone said to me, "How did you get into the House of Lords?"

I said, "By lying, cheating and stealing."

LAUGHTER

Because if I hadn't gone through...

if I had not gone through that terrible self-defeat,

I would never have been able to get out and learn to read and write

in a boys' prison at the age of 16.

We did send him a drink in. Hopefully it was just water

and not gin and tonic, which might set him off!

When I was 21, I had the misfortune, and the fortune,

of being hiding from the police in Edinburgh, of all places.

I met a very large-nosed Scotsman called Gordon Roddick.

20 years later, I saw him on the telly and I said,

"I know that big-nosed bugger." Excuse my French!

We invest now in...

My wife is telling me to wind up, so I should listen.

-She's going like that.

-LAUGHTER

That must be the only reason for that sign.

Thank you. God bless you all.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

I know why you're laughing.

LAUGHTER

I have to follow that!

You know, he broke all the rules,

the conventions of the House

that everyone usually gets so excited about.

He stood in the aisle instead of behind the chair,

and you're not supposed to do that.

He went on for nearly 15 minutes,

which was a bit longer than he's supposed to.

And some of the words he used were probably unparliamentary.

But he got away with it all!

Unusual, shall we say, as you will have picked up from the reactions.

Good fun. A speech that will certainly have woken them up!

It's three weeks until the housing bill

is debated in the Lords Chamber.

The opposition have tabled a series of amendments which could derail it.

A lot of the things that are going through on this bill,

they are hitting one section of the community all the time.

If the Government is to win,

party whip Lord Borwick must get the support of any undecided peers.

The Government is a minority in the House of Lords

so everything has to be done by agreement, really,

because we can't bully anything through.

As well as seeking support for the bill,

he's tabled his own amendment to try and clarify a section on planning.

I'm going to try and persuade Lady Jones from the Green Party

to support it. She and I will totally disagree on the bill itself

and will probably vote different ways on whether the bill passes,

but my clause is about changing the detail not the meaning of the bill.

-Do you want milk?

-Yes, please.

-A splash?

-Just a splash.

-That does smell like builder's as well.

-Right.

-OK. Sorry...

-Yeah.

This is clause 145, which I'm worried about.

The wording is not terribly clear in my opinion,

and my amendment is this one.

My little amendment is not going to change the housing bill radically.

It's a pretty small subject but for every clause

in that enormous document, at least somewhere is a group of people

who are thinking about, is this as good as it could be?

As a Green, I've learned that if we don't do things cross party,

it's incredibly difficult to get anything done at all

and I think the whole bill

is a disaster. If I could scrap the whole thing I would.

But in the meantime,

I will put my name to any tiny amendments to improve it.

Hello.

Sorry, which way is it to Black Rod?

This way.

New boy Lord Bird is already in trouble.

-Good morning. How are you?

-Very well.

Can you now control your bad language in this House?

-Yes, I will.

-Otherwise you'll be, you know, drummed out, I suspect.

I know. It's very interesting,

cos there was a meeting about controlling one's mouth.

-Oh, really?

-So the two words that I used,

which found their way into Hansard,

won't find their way into Hansard again

cos I won't use them.

But do they edit them out for you or...

No, they put them in.

"Bugger" and "ponce" will be there, will they?

"Bugger" and "ponce" will be there for eternity.

I was saying, actually, to the ladies in the office,

that you fit in rather well here

because political correctness hasn't completely arrived in this office.

Oh. Oh, that's good.

So you should feel very comfortable here.

'The purpose of my bill, Madam Deputy Speaker,

'is to make sure that that election last week is the last...'

Hereditary peer Lord Palmer feels distinctly uncomfortable.

'Hereditary peers have existed for hundreds of years.'

In the Commons, an MP is calling for an end to hereditaries in the Lords.

'92 remain, and the question for our modern democracy,

'Madam Deputy Speaker,

'is what legitimacy do they have for the future?'

The hereditary principle is very difficult to defend,

except that if we went down to the pub tonight and said,

"Oh, what do you think about House of Lords reform?"

they would look at you as if you were completely and utterly bonkers.

It doesn't feature on most people's radar.

'So, Madam Deputy Speaker, the purpose of my bill is

'to finally remove those who have their place in Parliament

'by birth rather than by merit.'

It is an attack, a very un-veiled attack,

but I think one has to rise above it.

That really is the only alternative.

With his maiden speech over,

Lord Bird's next big challenge is to speak in a debate.

He wants to challenge the Government on its housing policy.

He intends to ask the minister to define affordable housing.

A lot of people in this country,

when they hear the word "affordable",

they see it almost as a fig leaf

and lurking underneath it is the word "unaffordable".

Every day at Question Time,

peers get the opportunity to interrogate the Government.

The point about questions is that they should raise issues

which are topical to the currency

of either what the Government is doing...

It's one of the ways in which the House exercises

part of its responsibility -

that is, holding the Government to account.

Everybody's been saying, "Be concise,

"don't rush in too quickly, but don't hold back."

A vital piece of information -

the person who's going to reply is Baroness Williams.

Don't say "Lord".

Anyway, that's...

Thank you, thank you, David, yes.

So, anyway...

There's always somebody in that chamber who knows more

about the subject than you do,

even if you think you know about it, so be careful.

You bullshit in there at your peril.

There is no official dress code, but there are expectations.

I actually... I was taken aside and I had the conversation given to me

that, you know, I am not dressed...

Excuse me, I think this is very smart. This is a Karen Millen top.

They don't know who Karen Millen is.

So what right do they have to tell me about my fashion sense?

Look at them, come on.

-Oh, great. Thank you very much.

-Hello, sir.

-Good morning.

At Question Time,

peers decide between themselves who gets to speak.

It can be a free-for-all at Question Time.

It's called self-regulation.

But it's basically chaos most of the time.

It seems to be a daily assertiveness test.

It's absolutely terrifying, and the most important thing is

to have people around you who sort of say, "You, you."

Otherwise there's absolutely no chance.

If a bishop stands up, on the whole, he gets priority.

So it's a question of judging, really,

what the right moment is for somebody to come in.

If you time it right,

there shouldn't be a problem.

My Lords, as I've already been quoted on this question,

I wonder if my noble friend...

My Lords, is this not...

People are shouting, "Our turn! Our turn! Sit down! Sit down!"

And this can go on for quite a long period of time,

until somebody gets the message that they're not going to be heard.

My Lords...

What effect has immigration had on the supply of affordable housing?

My Lords...

Order.

My Lords, I don't have those figures to hand

but I can go back to the department

and see if we have those types of figures available.

That was a baptism of fire.

I don't think many people make the mistake that I made,

not giving the minister the chance to reply.

So I think that's a probably new one.

'Somebody else took my question,

'so I had to kind of make up a question on the spot.'

My Lords, is it not interesting to consider

that when Britain spends 87% of its...

of the money that the banks give out that, in fact,

that is one of the reasons why it's so overheated?

And what are we going to do about reducing the heat?

I got up at the wrong time, in between the minister speaking,

and that threw me.

And then I had to kind of make up a question on the spot.

But in the end, I mean,

the important thing is, one does it and gets it out of the way.

And hopefully, you know...

..I'll get it right the next time.

Hoping her lobbying the Commons has paid off,

Baroness King has put down an amendment

to the Children and Social Work Bill

to remove the cap on benefits for adopted children.

She's about to make her case to the committee in the Lords

which is looking at the bill.

I feel really strongly about it

because I know a fraction of what adoptive families go through

and I think it is a scandal that they don't get more support.

From my experience, and I have quite a bit of it,

Britain relies on low income families

to bring up our most vulnerable kids.

Please, will the minister meet with his colleague,

the Minister of Children and Families,

and work out a plan to bring into force this very simple exemption

around child benefit for all adopted children.

I therefore beg to move.

I would probably, you know, hang myself if I dwelt on how long

and how much effort and how many phone calls and how many briefings

and how many speeches you have to write

and how many meetings you have to go to

just to get a little bit of progress,

which is blindingly obvious they should do anyway.

So that's a little bit frustrating.

It's April, and the housing bill has reached crunch point in the Lords.

The opposition will be challenging the Government

on its flagship policy.

Battle lines are drawn up.

The housing bill is very contentious.

With it being a major bill, as it is, we can get 500 to 700 people in.

Each party makes sure they get as many members in as they can.

Have a good day, my Lord.

There's just more of a general buzz and more of a vibrant atmosphere.

All right, my Lord.

The whip is definitely on and it's on for a really good reason,

because we're voting on the housing bill,

and it is just truly outrageous.

OK, I would say that, I'm a Labour peer,

but it is genuinely outrageous what the Government are doing,

and people don't realise until it's too late.

What we're literally voting on today

is whether people are going to have council houses or not.

Over several days, the House will

debate a series of contentious amendments tabled by the opposition.

If no agreement is reached, they'll be put to a vote.

Voting does rather concentrate the mind

because the vote is the moment when push comes to shove

and so I think it does rather electrify the proceedings.

Peers are on standby around the palace,

as no-one knows if or when a vote will be called.

We've sort of picked up a whisper that there might be eight divisions.

-Eight?

-Yes.

We had six last night.

Well, it's only two more.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

It could mean that an awful lot of us have been hanging around,

waiting to vote and then, in fact, there isn't a vote,

which is very, very, very frustrating.

All those who have done well...

The most controversial section of the bill is "pay to stay" -

the policy to increase the rent of higher-earning council tenants.

A defeat on this point

could mean an embarrassing U-turn for the Government.

"Pay to stay" has proved the most contentious ingredient in the bill,

because this affects hundreds of thousands of existing tenants.

If handled insensitively...

Crossbencher Lord Best has tabled an amendment

to reduce the extra rent council tenants would have to pay.

At the present stage,

we don't know whether he's going to call it to a division.

If there is a vote,

we know we've got 180, 200 Conservatives on our side.

Then the game is how many crossbenchers we can get,

as to whether or not we can win.

The word is going round

that the Government and opposition can't agree,

which means a vote.

I've just sent an e-mail to all Conservatives

and a text message to all Conservatives

to say that the minister is on her feet.

I'm sorry that the noble Baroness, the minister, has not succeeded,

I'm afraid, in satisfying me,

and I would like to test the opinion of the House.

Division!

Oh, division, here we go.

Happy days are here again.

BELL RINGS

The doors get locked at the eight-minute point

so that no more members can get into the Chamber,

and therefore no more members can get into the division lobbies.

So eight minutes is the limit.

Some of them come across from some of the outbuildings where they have

offices, so some of them have to rush to get here and make it.

It's not a sprint but I usually put my stopwatch on.

The attendants are really lovely but the one thing they do love to do

is slam the door in your face and go, "Ha!"

It's the one thing they are really allowed to do, to just go, "Stop."

It rather looks as if this vote's a big one,

so this will be up around 500 mark, I expect.

When you can see over there,

the people queueing to get in to the wrong...

to the Content Lobby, that's not a good sign.

If the vote goes against the Government,

it will have to reconsider its policy.

We are an unelected House.

We have no inherent rights.

All we can do is put our hands up to the Government and say,

"Please think again."

My Lords, there have voted

Contents 281,

Not-Contents 179.

So the Contents have it.

We lost by 102.

So not good news for us

because we've got another four or five votes this afternoon.

During the five-day hearing,

the Government and Lords clash repeatedly

and the Government suffers a series of damaging defeats.

I've made my first vote!

Today is about the Lords doing what the Lords are supposed to do,

that is saying to the government of the day,

"You haven't thought it through well enough.

"Don't ruin people's lives

"because you haven't given it enough thought."

I hope it means that the Government is going to think about why it lost,

and shouldn't it change some of the policies?

I think it's given the Government a bit of a shock.

A peerage might be for life but Baroness King is taking a break.

She's been offered a job in California, working for YouTube.

Hello.

The House will lose one of its youngest and most active members...

for now.

But I gather that you've had enough of us. That's it.

Can't stand it here any more?

It's a little bit of that. You know what it's like

hanging around Parliament for too many decades. I've done two.

Well, we're going to miss you...

-in some respects.

-I was going to say,

you're not going to miss what I wear, normally.

Did you notice that I'm actually wearing a frock for you

and no trainers?

-Cos you have had a few issues.

-I have never...

-Who was it complained?

-I have never said anything.

Thank you so much.

-Best of luck.

-Thank you.

-I'll see you in September.

'Baroness King leaving, in a way that doesn't surprise me at all.

'She's given 20 years to Parliament.'

I think it's rather good that people can, you know,

take a career break from the House of Lords

and go off and do other things.

The housing bill has now been signed into law.

Following the overwhelming defeat in the Lords,

the Government has abandoned its "pay to stay" policy.

Some Conservatives fear the Lords have gone too far

and are playing with fire.

Sometimes people come here and think that they can

overturn an elected government,

and they can't and they shouldn't

and they need to be disabused of that view.

We must be very careful not to overstep the mark

and start to get into a battle with the House of Commons,

where we stop to...

or fail to recognise that they must always have the final say.

Before she leaves, Baroness King has some good news.

The Government is going to accept my amendment

so that adopted children will always receive child benefit.

It's a privilege to be able to influence debate,

and when you can say, "OK, I didn't just influence the debate,

"but the law will now change," it's amazing.

For a politician, it's the best feeling in the world.

I apologise to my husband, you know,

but this is the best feeling in the world.

It is very strange to be leaving Parliament after 20 years.

And now it's time to take black Margaret Thatcher off the wall.

She must come to America.

Oh, African Americans will love that.

I think it's time to put Maggie back in her crate. God bless her.

It will be a liberation of sorts to be able to go and work in a sector

where they move at the speed of light, in Silicon Valley.

It will be the polar opposite, in some respects...

in some respects, to the House of Lords.

So I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to that side of it

but I will definitely miss the Lords.

Next time, the battle between Lords and Government

goes right to the top...

There we are.

The whole Parliamentary estate all laid out below us.

..and tensions between Lords and Commons reach breaking point.

Come on, the Lords!

If there was an attempt to nobble us, neutralise us, make us impotent,

the Lords would not go down without a fight.

There is a degree of doubt as to

how far either side is going to take the game of poker.

Are you interested in finding out more about the House of Lords

and the role it plays in the UK's political system?

Go to...

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