12/06/2011 EastEnders

-Breakfast.

-Oi, oi, oi. No, no, listen, I've got to get Amy up.

-I've got to get Amy up...

-Come here.

I've got to get her up in twenty minutes.

Michael, I've got to put the washing on.

Me, you, my mum, your dad, who used to be married to my mum

and then my dad who beat up your dad. How is that casual?

12 o'clock sharp!

I don't know, I'm not sure it's a good idea.

Whatever my feelings towards the man, it's his son's wedding. He wants to be involved.

-Besides, the more...

-Am I going the right way for Albert Square?

Down there. You can't miss it.

I'm so proud of you. My little entrepreneur.

It's flip-flops, Mum.

Yeah, well, it's only for the summer, though, isn't it?

You all right there, love?

-Will you pass me one of them clips down there, please.

-What clips?

-You know, the clippy things.

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-Lauren, the clippy thing!

-Careful.

GLASS SMASHES

You're paying for that.

-What's the matter with you? You off your head?

-And that one.

Lively round here, ain't it?

Oh, you have no idea.

SIREN WAILS

HE KNOCKS

Nice and cold. That'll teach you for distracting me.

I've missed you, Rox.

Amy, come on, get up.

Amy, sweetheart, come on.

-She's not here!

-Huh?

You've left the front door open again!

I've got a bad feeling about this.

-Bianca's going to get four years.

-You don't know that.

-Have you looked in here?

-Yes.

-Here you are, what's this?

Right, let's go.

Amy?

She gets four years then Morgan'll be...what,

-eleven when she gets out?

-Ten.

-Will he?

-Besides, four years isn't going to be four years, is it?

She'll be out in two.

It's still a long time, though, innit? However you look at it.

What am I going to do?

Do what you're doing, Ricky. You love your kids.

PHONE RINGS

Yeah, but is it enough, though? Hello?

Yeah, speaking.

Er...

Do you mind if I call you back? Thanks.

-I got it.

-What?

The job in Dubai. I got it.

-What's all the banging about?

-No way!

-It's only three weeks.

-What about the kids?

-Amy!

Oh, my God.

-That is mine.

-I know.

I'm not going anywhere. You are.

All this "recovery" rubbish, you know, I've put up with a lot

cos I thought it was worth it. I thought you were working really hard on it. But you weren't, were you?

You couldn't even be bothered to go to one meeting.

-Well, if you can't be bothered, I can't.

-I went to the meeting. I went.

-Yeah, course you did.

-I went last Friday and I'm going again today.

Well, why didn't you say?

No. Not good enough, Phil.

Thought it was about time I got it back.

You've got to trust me, Shirley.

You do trust me, don't you?

They were just there. I didn't see them...

-Is Amy all right?

-Yeah, she seems to be.

-Have you called an ambulance, Nan?

-I didn't call one.

-Why not?

Cos where an ambulance goes, so does the police.

-Not renewed my car insurance.

-Well, his pulse is fine. And he's breathing

I'll see if he's got any ID. What's this in here?

-Oh!

-What is it?

Afia, it was mine when I got married.

The moths have had a go at it but I've had it fixed. You'd never know.

-It's good as new.

-Mr Ahmed.

Come on. Uncle.

I don't want you there today.

Tam's my son.

And I'm his wife-to-be.

Look, I know how you feel about me, but...

This isn't about me.

This is about Tam.

It's killing him.

These fights and arguments.

He's putting on a brave face, and making jokes, but...

Please.

It's just a stupid wedding meeting.

Please, just take it.

Just take it, please.

Dad's bought him a new one.

Ricky!

Oh! It's all right, mate, she's fine.

-Where were you?

-She nearly got run over.

-Hey?

It's all right, she didn't. Some bloke DID. He saved her.

I was worried about you.

Here we go, all right.

-He's a journalist.

-How can you tell?

I don't know. He's got a look. Maybe a copper.

I thought you said he had a look.

Do you know who the prime minister is?

-What kind of question's that?

-Carol.

Well, that's what you ask people when they've had a bang on the head.

-Listen, I'm sorry, I got to go.

-A bang on the head?!

-Excuse me?

You ran me over.

-Well, you were standing in the road.

-To stop you running over a kid.

Well, I would've stopped.

-Come on, look, we better go.

-You didn't stop.

-You hit me.

-Hit?

That's an exaggeration.

-What would you say?

-Nudged.

-Nudged? Nudged?!

-Look, we've really got to be somewhere, sorry.

-Wait a minute, I ain't finished yet.

-Yeah, well I have.

-Her daughter's being tried for attempted murder.

-GBH with intent, if you must know.

-What she do? Nudge someone?

They're a very aggressive family.

-Now you listen to me.

-Carol, just leave it. Let's go.

-Well, who are you?

-You a copper?

-What's so funny?

-I ain't a copper.

Right. So why have you got this?

Who are you?

No. No. Uncle Eddie?

Alfie.

How you been?

-She's fine.

-Yes, I know, but she might not've been, Michael.

Yeah, but she is.

She had to be saved by a complete stranger. Where were you, huh?

Where was I? I was the same place as you, remember?

I'm a terrible mother, aren't I?

You're a wonderful mother.

I can't do this on my own. I can't.

-You're not on your own.

-Really?

Yeah. I'm here, aren't I?

Yeah. With your flies undone.

Poor little Amy. What chance have you got, eh?

What chance have you got with us two in charge?

Oh, I don't know, what was it? I think 15? Was is 15?

You ain't seen each other for 15 years?

When I saw it, I couldn't believe it.

Little Alfie with a kid of his own.

Yeah, and still a big kid himself.

When I read what that woman put you through, I had to come and see you.

-Right

-So, um, you're his uncle, yeah?

No. Eddie's granddad is my granddad's brother.

-So what does that make you two?

-I don't know, what is it?

Second cousins? Once removed?

-Twice? Twice removed, is it?

-Confused.

-That's what it makes us.

-Yeah.

Eddie's... Well, he's Michael's dad.

-Do you know Michael?

-Oh, she knows him.

I met him once. Couple of years ago.

I ain't seen him for a while.

Leeds, I last heard. Try and keep in touch with him on the phone

but you know how it is.

It's hard keeping track of people, ain't it?

Yeah, yeah.

Right, that should do it. No permanent damage.

We need a signal.

What kind of signal?

If it all gets too much then I'll do this...

Then you can step in.

-What's my signal?

-I don't know.

How about...

You look insane.

Your father hasn't turned up.

And we still have the haar to make so, chop, chop, huh?

We'll get through it.

How does it work? I mean, do you get a gold star every time you turn up for a meeting?

And then if you get ten gold stars do you get a free cup of coffee?

-Coffee's a quid.

-That's a rip-off.

I'd want a nice glass of wine for that.

-Have fun.

-Yeah, right.

-See you later.

-See you later.

OK, I've got one. Guy in the green jacket.

It's just a game, Whitney.

-Five.

-Five? He's cute.

No, he's not cute, he's dorky,

he's got jeans that are too small for him and his mum probably dresses him.

Right, my go, my go.

What about him, there?

-Eight.

-You always say eight.

-No-one's above an eight, Whitney. Not even Jake Gyllenhaal.

-You're so picky.

-I'm not picky.

-Yeah you are. Shirley? Do you want some flip-flops?

-How's it going, ladies?

-Yeah. Really, really, good.

Yeah, we've sold one thing.

-Yeah, but, apart from that it's going really, really, really...

-Good?

-Exactly.

OK, good.

Nine and a half.

-Yeah, I know.

-He can see you, then he can go.

-Tommy's his grandson.

-I don't want him knowing about it. Any of...

-All right, Ed?

For the little one. It's a rabbit.

Are you sure it's not a dog?

No.

Any chance I can see him?

He's sleeping, sorry.

Definitely a dog.

It's a rabbit.

Boo.

-Phil, I was just...

-Stalking?

-No.

-Spying?

I thought you were going to the meeting.

I am. It don't start for half an hour.

-You really don't trust me, do you?

-Do you blame me?

I'm going, Shirl, all right?

-How can I be sure?

-Just have to take my word for it.

-I hate this.

-Yeah, and it's a barrel of laughs for me, innit, eh?

Don't even think about it.

-It's Dubai, Ricky.

-So?

So it's not a couple of stops on the district line, is it?

It's only three weeks. You know, it's three months' pay for three weeks.

Yeah, and who gets no pay to look after your kids? Muggins here.

-So? How'd it go?

-Yeah, good, she'll be out by Christmas.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, something about her being remorseful

and Connor being all right and a load of other stuff I didn't really understand.

You should've seen her face. I've not seen her smile like that in months.

-So, all at home for Christmas, then.

-Yeah.

-The kids are going to go mental.

-Your cheapest, finest bubbly, please.

-BABY CRIES

Just a sec, yeah.

'Who's making all that noise, little man?'

You're awake, are you? Ready. One, two, three.

-I got you, I got you.

-Oh, look at him.

-Yeah.

Come on, then, sit down here with me.

He's still not talking yet, though, are you?

What are we trying to teach ya? You know what it is.

# We all follow West Ham... # You sing it.

# Over land and sea... #

See? Nothing. Not yet, anyway.

-Maybe he ain't a Hammers fan.

-You what?

# I'm Orient till I die I'm... #

Oi, oi, oi. That's enough of that.

Don't you listen to that, young man.

You're a big boy, ain't ya?

You want to hold him, Eddie?

-It's been a while.

-Here you go.

Go on, then. Here's your Uncle Eddie.

Here you go. Good lad.

-Hello.

-Who's that?

How old are yours now, then?

They're in their 20s.

Much less trouble when they're this age, I tell you that for nothing.

Now don't you be giving your dad any jip. You hear me, Tommy?

You be a good boy for your dad.

Don't put pink flowers next to pink flowers. Space them out.

-I think it looks nice.

-It looks tacky.

-What is wrong with the two of you? Have you got fleas or something?

-DOORBELL

-How about we just finish this up and then head back to work?

-DOOR OPENS

-It could be worse.

-You reckon?

Hello.

OK, don't panic. J.Lo's here.

You know, J.Lo in that film.

The one where she's a wedding planner. What's it called?

The Wedding Planner?

-That's it.

-I asked Denise to come round. You don't mind, do you?

Ooh, that's a lovely one.

'People bringing you your food,

'waiting on you hand-and-foot. Nice place you got here.'

Some nice furniture.

I know a thing or two about furniture.

-Ah!

-Ah!

See this here?

Tommy, see this here?

50 quid, I'd give you for that.

Not bad, eh?

-Ain't he got your eyes?

-Give me him.

Come here, darling. Where were you?

-I was just making his bottle, weren't I?

-You don't leave him alone.

-He wasn't alone. I was with him.

-You don't leave him alone, Alfie.

-Kat!

Look at him. Look at his little face.

He's fine.

-Kat, it doesn't make any sense. What you doing?

-He's just another person, yeah?

Another person that wants a piece of him.

I want him to go.

Right.

So, how about we hear from someone new again today?

Anyone? Don't all jump at once.

Phil, how about you?

Er... My name's Phil.

This is my second meeting.

And, um... Um...

Take your time.

Well, uh...

I'll go.

Sure. Go ahead, Rainie.

I'm Rainie and I'm a drug user, alcoholic, you name it.

My latest addiction is fruit gums. Can't get enough of 'em.

I guess I'm struggling a bit at the moment, cos...

..when things were bad...

When they were really bad and I was, like, climbing the walls and stuff,

I had this friend that I really felt I could talk to.

Actually, to be honest, he was a bit more than a friend.

If I could remember what it was we got up to,

I'm sure it was pretty amazing. I don't know. Er...

It just...

It just feels lonely sometimes, you know, this sobriety lark.

And I miss having a mate.

So that's...

That's me for now.

That's it, really.

-Nine and a half.

-Another 20 quid. Doing all right, ain't we?

You rated my brother nine and a half. That's more than Jake Gyllenhaal.

-And you say you don't fancy him.

-I don't fancy him.

All right, look me in the eye and say that then, Lauren.

You can't! You actually can't do it! Please, listen to me, please!

This is the guy that got Stacey up the duff, right?

And then married Janine voluntarily.

Please don't go there.

He's a nightmare, OK?

SHE CHUCKLES

Don't go there, I mean it.

I'm watching you.

No, I'm interested in the job.

Really, yeah. No, it's just I can't say for definite yet.

Can I get back to you in a couple of hours? Is that all right? Cheers. All right, mate?

How's Amy, is she all right?

Yeah, she's fine. Thanks.

Trying a bit of bribery to keep her in the house.

-All right, well, listen, the bloke who saved her's in here.

-Reckon he deserves a couple of pints. Cheers.

It's worth a few bob, this.

He's winding me up. How much do you reckon then, yeah?

Couple of hundred.

No. Seriously?

The dodgy paint job's devalued it, though. What numpty did that?

PHONE RINGS

Eddie, 'scuse me a sec, I've got to get the phone.

You still here? What are you? Rag-and-bone man?

Antique dealer.

-Very swish.

-You made it back, then, in one piece.

Any collateral damage?

It was an accident.

Wind her up, watch her go.

-You think you know me?

-I know your type.

I know yours.

Go on, then.

No ring on your finger, so you're single

or you like people to think you are.

I reckon you're one for the ladies.

Young ones. You know, arm candy.

Ones who don't answer back.

I don't think you like people telling you you're wrong.

-Am I right?

-No.

My turn.

You're single,

had your heart broken on more than one occasion.

Bitter about it.

Like to have an opinion about everything, make judgements.

You used to be wild and fun.

You miss it.

You haven't done anything spontaneous in years.

Yeah, well spontaneity has its time and place.

Right on every count, aren't I?

Typical Moon. Helping yourself to a drink, eh?

-Alfie.

-What?

Mikey!

How are you, son?

-Crystals?

-And glitter.

What is wrong with being traditional?

-It's a bit dull.

-Complex designs perfected over thousands of years are a bit dull?

-You like them, don't you?

-I don't mind.

Where's Masood?

-I don't know.

-D'you know, I think he feels a bit bad...

-about everything.

-I'd hope so.

Why don't you go for fresh flowers?

Why don't you keep your opinions to yourself?

-Where are you going?

-Work.

-Thanks for the tea... and palpable tension.

-Well done.

It's not Denise's fault, is it? It's you! And Dad not being here.

-It's...

-Tam.

Tam, I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I told your dad to stay away.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

You want one?

No, thanks.

-Was it good?

-Was what good?

You know...

No comment.

You can't remember either?

Me and Shirl, we're...

We're good now, you know.

-We're back on track.

-I'm pleased.

I am.

But I meant what I said.

(I miss you.)

I hate these things.

Yeah, well, you'll soon get back in the swing of it.

Soon they won't be able to shut you up.

-See ya.

-Bye.

-See you tomorrow, Phil?

-Yeah, yeah.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

You all right, Ed?

How long's he been here?

He's been here a while.

I feel really bad, I should've told you.

Wouldn't've made any difference.

Whoever said time's a healer ain't met Michael.

I really think it's doing Whitney good being out there.

She's much more like her old self.

Chatty and having a laugh.

Oh, it was so funny, right, we were creasing up.

Darrell who owns the fish stall... D'you know Darrell?

-You probably don't. It's not really funny if you don't know Darrell.

-Are you talking to me?

Ryan, d'you want to come out tonight?

-Like, for a drink or something?

-Why? Are you and Whitney going somewhere?

-No.

-So, what, then? On a date?

-No.

-No?

I don't know.

Ah, bless.

Lauren, you're my sister's mate, yeah?

Forget it.

You got yourself a groupie, Ryan.

Hello, darling.

Right, you going to buy your investor a drink?

Lauren?

-How did it go?

-Boring.

-Course it was boring.

It's full of whining alcoholics.

You're wearing it.

I thought I'd only lose it if I didn't.

So, did you meet any little friends at your "meeting of minds"?

No.

It's priorities, Ricky. It's all about priorities.

You know, kids have to be top.

Oi! I'm talking.

-Your ears bleeding?

-No, but your head is.

Makes a lasting impression, your mother-in-law, don't she?

Oh, mate, that's a nice way of putting it.

Dubai. I couldn't help overhearing.

I tell you what, the more she drinks, the louder she gets.

You want to go, then go.

Yeah, well the thing is I got kids, so...

Ain't like you're walking out on them.

No, of course not. I'd never do that.

-No, course you wouldn't.

-Thing is, I really need the money as well.

She ain't going to like it.

Tell her you're being spontaneous.

-He's going.

-Good.

This ain't right, Kat.

-He's not a monster.

-I didn't say he was.

-What, so, that's it?

-Yep.

What, you decided? Just like that?

It was spontaneous.

-What did

-he

-say?

-Nothing. Carol...

-Who are you?

Who are you to give advice?

You really hate me, don't you?

-I don't hate you. I nothing you.

-You nothing me?

-What makes you think you can tell other people what to do with their families?

-He didn't.

Your son clearly doesn't want to know you.

-What does that say?

-Carol.

-Well, it's true, ain't it?

-It was interesting to meet you.

-Yeah, go on. Nothing keeping you here.

-She's right.

-No.

No, Eddie, she's drunk, all right?

Look, if Michael ever changes his mind...

Who am I kidding?

Take care of Tommy, won't you?

-Make the most of him.

-I intend to.

Eddie.

He's your grandson.

Tommy. He's your grandson.

Oi! Michael.

Michael! Make yourself useful.

You must've been, what...

-about seven or eight when I first took you down Brisbane Road.

-Yeah.

-Had you on my shoulders, remember?

-Yes, I do.

-And the ball hit you.

-Right in the mush, yes, I remember.

I thought you'd be crying, but you were laughing.

Course I was, Eddie. You were being beat by Chelsea!

-But I love that you're still an Orient fan.

-Yeah, till the day I die.

-Or till the day you win, whichever comes first.

-Oi, oi, oi! Less of that.

It's good, you'll be able to take Tommy to the game soon. Yeah.

Who'd have thought? A grandson.

Here y'are. In case you need a ride home.

-She don't mince her words, does she?

-Excuse me.

Kat! It's me you're angry at, ain't it? Not him.

All right, so he knows he's Tommy's granddad.

So what, darling? What's the big deal?

He'd have found out eventually. He's not interested in any details.

-I don't know what the problem is.

-Me either.

I know a rotten apple when I see one. And he ain't one of 'em.

He won't take Tommy. The worst that'll happen,

he gives him too many sweets and rots his teeth.

You've just got to look into his eyes and know he ain't bad.

-Big, kind, sparkly...

-Maureen! All right, thank you.

We got the message, darling.

Kat, you're getting worked up over nothing, darling.

Any post for 31?

-There you go.

-Thanks.

-That one for me?

-Yeah.

And they're off!

Tiffany is in the lead...

-Tiffany!

-Sorry.

-Dad?

-It's all part of my training.

-For an egg and spoon race?

-I just washed that floor. Clean it up, please.

-Dad?

-What?

-It's PE today.

-So where's your kit?

-I don't know.

-Where's his kit, Ricky?

What's that?

-I'm going. Tonight.

-Going where?

-Are we going on holiday?

I've got a photographer tonight. Do a few promotional shots.

And Ronnie's going to be here. So I don't want any trouble.

Keep her away from me then.

-You look rough.

-Just your reflection in my eyes.

Your dad being here. Doesn't change anything, all right?

-Your dad's here? Since when?

-I don't want him giving you any ideas.

You said you want nothing to do with Tommy. He's mine and Alfie's.

-You agreed to that.

-I did agree to that, yeah.

-So that's clear, nothing changes?

-That's clear. Clear, yes, sir. Clear as day, yeah. Eddie Moon, eh?

With his charm and his arm round your shoulder. Everyone's mate.

If he was dying on the street, Jack, I wouldn't gob on him.

He ain't that bad.

-Come on. Down.

-No.

-Now.

-No!

-You're going to be late for school.

-Who cares?

-Who cares if no-one's going to watch me?

-It's her egg and spoon race.

-I've been practising for weeks.

-You're obsessed, Tiff.

We'll watch you. Won't we, Carol?

We'll do everything, love. We'll take you to school. Look after you.

-Won't we?

-You know how I feel about this.

-Well, I will.

Even if Granny Carol can't be bothered.

I've got to put food on the table. I've got to clothe them.

Carol, he's got this job. He ain't going to turn it down.

-I won't let him.

-Oh, won't you? Their mum's in prison,

their dad's going to be halfway across the world.

I'll watch your race.

All right, ladies. Good morning.

-Have you seen Michael? He didn't come home last night.

-There she is!

My favourite little girl. Nice to see you again.

-Roxy, this is Eddie. He saved Amy from the car.

-Eddie!

Oh, thank you so much. It's so nice to meet you.

-I have to give you a kiss, I'm sorry.

-No need to apologise.

Thank you, thank you. So, how d'you two know each other?

What are you wearing?

-You are a class act, ain't you, Max?

-'Do you like 'em?

-'Your favourites, ain't they?'

-Babe, you got your key?

-Yeah, yeah!

Will you just stop doing this?

-Got something for you.

-Babe, where's my work?

-It's only little but...

-It was in a blue folder.

-You mentioned it...

-I wish you wouldn't move my stuff about!

I haven't touched anything!

Don't I get a kiss?

Right. Seaside or shopping. Your choice.

-Why are you being nice?

-I can be nice.

Let's go to the seaside. We don't even have to get out the car.

We can just sit in it, staring out to sea. Please, let me help.

-I can manage.

-OK. Why is it old people do that?

You're at the beach, get on the beach. Stop just staring at it.

-Oh, Granny, please...

-Let go!

Stop squirming or you'll miss your chair, you great lummox...

Oh, fine.

Oi, dirty stop-out.

I think the table's dead.

Why didn't you tell me?

Your dad, he seems like such a nice bloke. You never talk about him.

I thought he was dead.

-I know it's hard to believe, but I'm a good listener.

-I need a shower.

All right, Mikey.

Come here...

-Michael, all right?

-Yeah.

It's Michael. Michael. Michael. Michael.

My leg has gone to sleep. We haven't sold anything in ages.

I need a wee.

Oh, my God, Lauren! Stop moaning, you sound like Carol.

All right, Lauren?

I don't know what you expected. Well, I do know what you expected.

These are all one size so they should fit you. Just about.

-I know you're only hanging round with me to flirt with my brother.

-Ryan? You and Ryan?

-No.

-Yeah, she wishes! For some reason.

-I'm going to kill you.

-How much?

-Tenner, please.

Unrequited love, eh? Don't worry, darling.

Give it a few months, you'll forget his name.

Happy anniversary!

Well, I've got a factor 50, a factor ten,

and...some teabags just in case.

-Just in case what?

-They don't have any. This is Africa I'm going to.

-No, it ain't.

-Oh. Ain't it?

Ricky, if Carol's not 100% behind this, it'll be tricky.

Mind you, I don't know who she thinks she is having a go at you.

Her parenting skills ain't up to much.

Morgan's going to school with holes in his shoes. You know how humiliating that is?

I've got to do this.

Well... Dubai, then... Where is it if it ain't Africa?

He doesn't even know where Dubai is.

This IS Ricky. He probably don't even know we're in London.

I just know that Pat's going to cry off.

I'll be the one ferrying 'em back and forth.

Mind you, her parenting skills aren't up to much. Oh! You still here?

-Despite your attempts to finish me off.

-It's all right, I got it.

You made up with Michael then?

Huh. I didn't think so.

-Seems like a bit of a cold fish to me.

-He's a good boy.

-You reckon?

Not so sure myself. I reckon he's got a bit of a mean streak.

Carol, you'll understand. You've got kids, right?

I won't have you talking about my son like that.

-It's weird, don't you think?

-I don't know.

He's never mentioned his dad. Not once.

I reckon they've had a barney or something. Thank you.

Right! What d'you reckon? I'll do something with my hair. Put a bit of slap on.

-You look lovely.

-SHE SIGHS HEAVILY

-What?

-Nothing.

-What?

-Nothing!

-You're chickening out!

Rox, I'm not.

Do you know what's going to happen to you?

You're going to end up one of those old, lonely bags,

holed up in a house with loads of cats.

And all the little children are going to run past going,

"That's where the crazy cat lady lives!"

Come on. I've got a babysitter and everything.

-A night out will...

-Do me good. You keep saying that.

-You said it for me.

-What are we going to do with your hair?

-I don't know, cut it off?

-ROXY LAUGHS

-Let's see.

Hey!

We've got hours yet.

Cheers. I don't see what the problem is.

-She's fallen for Ryan.

-Nothing's happened, has it?

-No, not yet, but...

He's bad news, Max. Not to mention he's, what, twice her age?

-Sorry, V. I still don't get it.

-Oh! Sorry for showing an interest in your daughter.

Are you feeling a bit hormonal or what?

Does it ever even occur to you that sometimes I might want to be involved?

Yeah. All right. Fine.

We should sit down and decide how we're going to approach this.

-I'm not sure I know what "this" is. But fine. Whatever you say.

-Good.

-For Tommy.

-No...

-Hey! Buy him something he can keep.

A rocking horse or something.

Whatever kids like nowadays. I ain't got a clue.

-You don't have to do that.

-I know.

-Cheers.

-Cab's here.

Bye, then.

Don't leave it so long next time, all right? Take care.

Shame he couldn't stay a little bit longer, really.

What?

Janine?

Ugh... No, thanks. I've already been beaten up by one granny today.

-It's your brother.

-I've got my own problems. Lydia hit me.

-Yeah? What did you do?

-Oh, of course, instantly it's my fault!

-If I had to place a bet, yeah.

-I've been very restrained actually.

I could've killed her a few times over by now but I haven't.

-Very restrained.

-Still, I suppose there's always time.

-Listen, Ricky's taking that job.

-Oh, great.

So I get to stay at home with a geriatric mental case

while he's swanning off in Dubai?

-I don't know why I bother.

-Does he even know where it is?

Ricky's not as clever as you, and he won't go as far as you.

But that job means the world to him and the way things are going,

he's not going to be able to take it.

Clearly you don't give a damn. So don't bother yourself, Janine.

You really think I'm cleverer than him? Ho-hoh!

-You skiving?

-No. You?

In a manner of speaking, I suppose I am.

-Did my grandma really run you over?

-She tried her best.

You should get one of those lawyers off the telly. Sue her for damages.

-Thanks for the advice.

-You're welcome.

-Think I'll leave it though.

Your nan strikes me as someone you don't want to get the wrong side of.

-She hates you anyway so it won't make no difference.

-Is that right?

You told my dad to go to Dubai.

Oh, I think he made his own mind up about that.

-You've got to respect a man's decision.

-I don't care what he does.

-It's my little brother and sister.

-I expect they'll miss him.

-They'll miss him a lot.

-Well...you tell them that your dad had his reasons.

They may not like it, but he knows what he's doing.

Don't be too hard on him. I'm sure he feels bad enough as it is.

Liam.

Eddie.

-Good talking to you, Eddie.

-Likewise, Liam.

Didn't get very far, did you?

-Who's going to be there?

-I don't know. Nice people. Me, Jack...

Oh, that's ten minutes she's late now!

That is the last time I'm using this babysitter. Right, you. Up, come on.

I can babysit.

-Be careful.

-I am. You can't rush me.

What d'you think?

BOTH CHANT: No, no, you can't go! No, no, you can't go!

We're going to put glue in the locks so he can't get out.

-And we're going on strike.

-Do you even know what that means?

-Um...no.

-Liam!

-We can't give him a hard time, he feels bad enough as it is.

-There are some problems at home.

-Typical man.

-What?

How long has it taken for you to say that? You running away?

-You go for the jugular, don't you?

-Well, are you?

So, you and Michael.

And you say I go for the jugular.

Bit like the elephant in the room, isn't it?

-It was a mistake.

-With a happy outcome.

-Yeah. A very happy outcome.

Do you want to hold him?

That's it. Say hello to your granddad.

-He's beautiful.

-He's got good genes.

You're like a boomerang, you are, Eddie.

Bad penny, more like. Alfie, make up the spare room.

-Eddie's going to stay here for a few days.

-Eyy!

-Get him out of that grotty hotel.

-Good boy.

MUSIC PLAYS: "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele

Sorry, I don't really see what the problem is.

-Neither do I, if I'm honest.

-She's got a thing for Ryan.

-Right. Nothing's happened, has it?

-Not yet, but he's bad news.

He's twice her age. Sorry, Greg. Must be a bit boring, this family stuff.

Yeah, well... Don't be long.

-What are you playing at?

-Sorry for taking an interest in our daughter.

Ohh! All right then, what's happened?

This isn't my usual style, and please don't tell anyone but...I'll help.

Wiping runny noses, doing the school run,

pretending to be interested in their day, blah, blah, blah...

-Right.

-He wants to do this. Ricky doesn't want anything.

He spends his life trying to make other people happy.

-MOBILE RINGS

-Never quite understood it.

Please. Carol, let him do it. I will help.

I'll get this.

-Ronnie with you?

-Jack, I tried. I really did.

-Do me a favour, keep an eye on him, will you?

-Yeah, all right.

-Oi. Couple of people I want you to meet.

-Let's meet them then.

Mate, can we do that photo? Do you mind?

-That's excellent, thank you.

-Cheers. Thanks.

-We done?

-Yeah, I guess we are.

Hey, there he is! All right?

Yeah, it's looking good, innit?

Tan, where are you going?

-Tan, we ain't finished yet.

-Well, I have.

-We ain't sorted out this Ryan thing.

-Look, there's nothing to sort out.

-Vanessa thought there was.

-She's trying to get you to notice her. I know, I've been there.

-Where?

When you were cheating on me.

Sometimes I'd create a family crisis. Try and get your attention back.

She's trying to get your attention, Max. Cos she knows she's losing it.

-I'm just worried about our daughter.

-Yeah. Course you are.

Oh, for the record, roses - not my favourite.

-Come on! Hit him!

-Come on!

-Blimey, nearly perforated me eardrums.

Come on, I've got a lot of money on this!

Think you can kiss that goodbye. Oi, son, come on, jab!

-Eddie. Jack Branning.

-This is Michael's business partner.

-Oh! And old friend.

I remember the name. Great place you got here.

-Used to do a bit of boxing, way back when.

-Yeah?

-Michael never told me that.

-Come on! Keep your guard up, you wally!

Just go and say hello to him.

People change. Please. Come on. Do it for me.

HE CHUCKLES FEEBLY

He's going to love that. Great.

Right. I'm not going.

-What?

-I'm not going. You know, it's too far away, isn't it?

-It's foreign. Plus I want to see Tiffany in her egg and spoon race, don't I?

-You're going.

-You are definitely going.

-Definitely.

-I didn't make this for nothing.

-Come on, Ricky, admit it. You want to go.

-What about the kids?

-We're all right, aren't we?

-Yeah.

-See? They're fine.

-What about you?

I'm fine. They're fine. We're all fine. You're going.

Carol. Can I have a word?

-Janine, how'd you manage that?

-You said it. I am the brains of the family.

Why do you call him Granddad?

-Cos he's ancient.

-Charming, ain't she?

-What does that make me?

-Er... Great, great, great...

-Stop right there!

-Got a minute?

-Fight number two's about to start.

-No, no.

I've got a good feeling about this.

BELL RINGS

Reminds me of the club I used to train at. Surprises me.

-You hated that place.

-What do you want?

Look, I know we've not been friends recently.

But a grandson... Didn't you think I'd want to know about that?

One for Anthony, one for Frankie

-and one for the other one.

-Tyler.

-Whatever, yeah.

Treat 'em. Take 'em on holiday somewhere.

Somewhere far away.

What's it going to take for you to get over it?

Truce? ..Oh, my God!

Don't get your hopes up. I've still got a pulse.

Why didn't you call me?

I did! You selfish, selfish girl!

Laugh if you want. I would if I were you.

Put up with this nonsense from Harry for years.

I didn't expect to have to do it again.

Don't worry. I won't say anything.

-What's the matter with you? You ill?

-Something like that.

Yeah! I've won, I've won, I've won!

Eddie, Eddie. Where's Michael?

How comes you and your sister are so different?

-SHE SIGHS

-You're clearly drunk.

They say it's your parents, don't they?

They say it's your parents. The way they treated you.

I think she's probably asleep now so...

Is it because...is it because she loved your dad and you didn't?

-I'm interested.

-I'm going to go.

What is it with her? You know, wanting to...fix stuff?

"Do it for me, Michael". All that.

She does that because she wants to make it better.

-We ain't spoken for about five years.

-So what did you fall out about?

-I wish I could remember.

-Can't have been that bad then, can it?

You look for a silver lining in everything, don't you?

Let me tell you. Life's an awful lot of grey cloud if you don't.

Seven to one. Seven to one! You going to come clubbing? Alfie!

You know, I've never apologised for...for what happened.

Why'd you do it?

-I don't want to make excuses.

-Then don't.

D'you know what it's like to lose someone?

That moment when you find out that they're...that they're gone.

I actually don't know why I did it.

I ask myself that same question every day.

Michael? Are you OK?

-Call me every day.

-Course I will.

-Bring us back a monkey.

-They don't have monkeys in Dubai.

-Don't they? Where is it then?

It's, um...United Arab Emirates.

-Come here.

-Listen, don't worry about me, all right?

-I'm going to be fine. I love you.

-And I love you too.

Hey! Come here.

-Right...

-Go on.

Cheers, Carol.

-Thanks a lot.

-Take care, darling.

Well, who wants pizza and ice cream? It's my treat. Come on!

-He says he can't even remember what they argued about.

-Rox...

-What?

It's good. If they can't remember, then it can't be that bad, can it?

-Don't try to fix things.

-I'm not trying to fix things.

-You are!

-I'm not!

-Hey, here he is! Ding ding, round one!

Manage to escape from Mo then?

-She don't take no for an answer.

-Tell me about it.

Cos she loves you and she wants your babies.

She's going to have your babies, Eddie, I can see it now.

Got chased by a randy bull across a field once.

Quite a similar experience. THEY LAUGH

Oh, listen, what you've got to have, everyone talks about it in Walford.

-One of her speciality breakfasts.

-Shut up, Alfie!

-Try the eggs, Mo's eggs.

-Alfie, shut up.

I was hoping to wash my hair before I go.

He's a doctor. What does he care?

-I care!

-It's how you feel you should be worrying about,

-not what you look like.

-I'm not worried.

He'll give me some tablets, sort it out. End of story.

Right, well, get him to give me a ring when you're done,

and don't forget to tell him that you're in a lot of pain, like all the time.

A bit of discomfort, a bit of arthritis. He'll say the same thing.

-Now come on.

-All right, all right.

And don't forget to tell him you fell over.

-I know doctors. I know what to say.

-Have you get everything?

-Yes!

-Have you got your tablets?

-Yes!

-Have you got your bag?

-Yes!

All right!

-Ah, finally decided to get up did you?

-Been awake for ages.

Shame, shame because you missed Jack.

Yeah, he came to pick Amy up for their play date.

-Oh, I'm gutted.

-Yeah, bet.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

-You sure?

-Definitely.

-OK.

So why did you leave early last night then?

Michael?

-Michael!

-DOOR CLOSES

Postcard from the grave.

Pardon?

That's what some people say about grandchildren.

I think they're wrong, though.

-I think it's a new lease of life.

-Yeah?

Not when it's your turn for the two o'clock feed.

I've been there all right.

Michael didn't sleep through till he was about three.

Bit of a handful was he?

Still is.

Great thing about grandchildren, you know,

all of the fun, and none of the worry.

-Here you are.

-KAT LAUGHS

-TOMMY CRIES

-Oh, sorry.

It's important...

family.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

All right?

I dream of the day when they invent a car that don't go wrong.

Well, then you won't have a job.

Well, I said it's a dream.

Phil...

..that support group's happening tonight.

Keep up with their schedule, do you?

No, I just happened to notice. I thought you might want to drop in.

You know, bit of a top-up.

I don't need it, Shirl.

I'm doing all right. OK?

-If you say so.

-I do say so.

Mikey.

I was hoping I'd see you.

Yeah? I was hoping the opposite as it goes.

Don't call me Mikey, all right?

No, right.

I had a great time last night.

Thought I might buy you a drink.

Think again.

Here, your Tommy's a lovely boy.

I just had a bit of a cuddle with him.

I don't want you anywhere near him.

He is my grandson.

He'll get over that.

What d'you want?

Nothing.

Here, darling.

Oh, thanks. I didn't think anyone would want me.

-Well, you're wrong, cos I want you.

-Orange juice.

Have you got time for a cheeky one?

-This is hardly the time or the place, is it?

-A drink.

I know, no I haven't.

-I can see you have.

-It's a break, ain't it?

I've just finished with a client's dodgy pelmets.

-What d'you want Tanya? G&T?

-I'm OK.

-Go on, you'll be all right. Have a little one.

-I said no.

Trace, get us a G&T, small one, and a pint. Cheers.

Dodgy pelmets, eh?

In my case, dodgy floorboards. I need a craftsman's touch.

We've got a fair few things need doing at home.

The bedroom floorboards creak.

It's hardly a loft conversion, is it?

No, but it's all work, isn't it?

-Greg, get yourself one while you're up there.

-All right.

It's your two month anniversary, ain't it?

What is that? Wood chip or Formica?

You might be able to wind him up, but it won't work with me.

-Has in the past.

-I'm not winding you up. Floorboards sound like Dracula's tomb.

If you were a couple of bricks short of a wall, naturally, you'd think of Greg.

He's just the man for it, ain't he? Cheers.

-I said I don't want this, I don't want it.

-Course she does.

-So do I.

This orange juice tastes like orange juice.

-The fact that I'm off it don't mean I can't look.

-It does. What are you here?

Is this some sort of dare?

Oh, fair enough, Tanya. I'll leave you to it.

Actually, Greg, I've got a wall that needs a bit of work.

Don't get yourself legless, will you?

-Remember we're going out tonight.

-Don't worry, I'll look out for him.

You'd do better looking out for Vanessa.

What do you want?

Worried about being seen with me?

Just wondering if you're going later.

-Support group!

-I know.

-No.

-Why not?

Because if I wanted to keep confessing, I'd turn Catholic.

I can close my eyes and I'm back there.

It's not like people think it is, is it?

It's like you've got something that makes the world OK.

It fixes things, don't it?

No-one gets that.

-What was that for?

-Congratulations!

You're getting engaged. It's brilliant.

It's absolutely brilliant. Let's do a party.

Your birthday next week, we'll do a double celebration. What d'you reckon?

Thing is, we said we'd keep the whole thing low-key.

In fact, we'd agreed not to tell anyone to begin with.

-OK. Shame though.

-You know there's a time and a place.

We're a gay couple. Getting engaged is a bit of an issue.

Are you getting engaged?!

-Congratulations! When's the date?

-We haven't got that far yet.

No, we certainly haven't got that far.

I'm sorry, I know, I shouldn't have said anything. It's just...

-I'm so happy about it.

-I can be happy without telling the world.

You're not going to have one of those long engagements, are you?

-We hadn't really thought about it. Look, Tan, it's a secret.

-Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

Syed, people are going to have to find out about this sooner or later.

I'd rather it was later.

Look, Rox, he's right, all right?

When you're... When we're ready.

OK.

So what, will you wait till your married to adopt the kid?

Then you'll be a proper family?

-These things take time. You know how it is.

-Rox, just...

I thought things were going a bit better with you and the old bag.

Is there any of our private business you haven't shared with the rest of Albert Square?

-Sy, please...

-Tan, I'll be back for my next appointment, yeah.

-All right.

-Sy!

So, stronger painkillers is that the best you can do?

I told you. It's all I can do.

Useless! What about an operation?

-Not appropriate.

-Why?

The doctors went through this at the hospital.

-There are limitations.

-I'm too old.

That's only part of it, Mrs Simmonds.

I had an operation on the other knee a few months ago.

That was emergency surgery. Unavoidable.

The same doesn't apply to arthritis.

So when you say too old what you really mean is not worth it.

I'll take you back.

I can manage, thank you.

No, you can't.

Everyone gets on in years, Mrs Simmonds. No way round it.

That's your advice, is it? Give up.

Sit in my wheelchair and wait to die?

It's easy for you, isn't it?

Box of pills, pat on the head, job done.

It's not like that.

It is from where I'm sitting.

I don't want to hear it.

No?

Well, guess what, you're going to.

Do you know something, when you and Christian first got together,

you knew what you were up against, didn't you?

But you were in love and you weren't giving up.

You fought for something that was worth having.

It was worth having, wasn't it?

Christian loves you.

He wants to settle down, he wants to have a family.

He's committed to that, he's committed to you.

There is not a lot of that left in this world.

Have a look around. Have a think, Syed.

It's between me and Christian.

And your friends, if they're worth anything.

Look, if you're not up for this whole adoption, relationship thing,

then I would own up right now if I was you,

because once you've adopted that kid and you've had the wedding,

it's all going to be a little bit too late.

I went to the surgery. They never phoned.

The doctor brought me back. Personal service.

That was nice of him. So what did he say?

Oh, I'm all right.

-Just gave me some more painkillers.

-What about the fall?

Well, he took a look, a couple of bruises. Nothing.

OK, good.

So, what's next?

I want my hair done.

That's what's next.

Mmmm, sweat and cheap deodorant.

-That'll be a gym, then.

-That'll be a turn-on.

Yeah. Weird. I like that.

You popped in because?

Because I'm going to the shop

and I just wondered if you fancied anything for later?

No. I'm all right.

Fine.

Rox?

Anything you like, go on you choose. You choose, yeah.

-What is the matter?

-Nothing.

-Why did you leave early last night?

-Business.

-Yeah(!)

-I had a nice chat with your dad.

-Did you? That's nice.

Oh, come on, Michael, come on!

Just meet him halfway.

-Chinese? Tonight?

-Yeah.

Spare ribs. Loads of 'em.

I know they're little jobs and you're a master craftsman,

but I want them done properly, know what I mean?

Obviously. All right, love.

That better be the same pint.

-Well, it's similar, yeah.

-I've been calling you.

-Oh, my phone's on silent.

-I didn't think you'd still be here.

Take the bedroom floorboards.

I'm coming in after a night out with the lads, she's asleep,

I don't want no questions asked, I get undressed on the landing, I creep in, what happens?

Creak, creak.

See? He's on to it like a shot.

I left a G&T when I came.

Oh, yeah, hang on a minute.

-Will you leave him alone?

-What?

-It's not funny.

-Are you sure about that?

Come off it, Tan. It's a mismatch, anyone can see that.

-You're punching well below your weight.

-Yeah?

-Well, I married him.

-I noticed.

-Question is, why?

-Well, for a start he's not you.

I bet she goes like a train, don't she, when her blood's up?

Why don't you say that again?

-It's a joke.

-No, go on, say it again.

-Go on.

-It was a joke.

You've got a mouth on you, has anyone ever told you that?

-Leave it out, come on.

-Hey. Just a bad joke. Out of order.

-It was out of order.

-He didn't mean nothing by it.

-You're all right with it?

What he said about Tanya?

No, I'm not but I'm not going to start a war over it.

-All right, I apologise.

-There you go.

-Takes a man to apologise.

-I don't need your help.

Listen to your old man.

Dads - they know best.

Come here, you.

Stay out of it, yeah?

Stay out of my life.

Oh, will you watch it!

-Oh, sorry! What an idiot.

-It's fine.

What do they say, don't cry over it or something?

-Let me replace it.

-No, no, no, it's fine.

No, I insist.

OK. So...why don't I make us a cup of tea?

-What, round yours?

-Yeah. It's all right. He's out all day.

Good. Michael's in a strop today.

He just had a run in with that... What's his name? Jack's brother?

What, Max? Why? What's happened?

Don't worry, it's sorted.

I think it could cause a bit of bother with Michael,

Eddie being the spare room, that's all.

But it's not Michael's spare room, is it?

Sweetheart, there's history.

I know there is, but I'm not having Michael telling me what to do. Eddie's a nice bloke.

-I know, he's my favourite uncle.

-There you go then.

Exactly.

I'll sort the chips out.

Excuse me, Dr Khan. You saw my gran today.

-Lydia Simmonds?

-Yes.

Yeah, well, all good news, she said.

She's doing well considering her age.

Yeah, but basically she's going to be OK?

Within limits, yes.

Are you in Walford for long then?

Remains to be seen.

Chance to talk things through with Michael, maybe?

Make things right with him.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like that.

Like to have another go, anyway.

There's lots to talk over.

Trouble is, he don't seem too keen on talking.

Look, do you...do you want me to have a go?

Can if you want.

DOOR OPENS

Oh, he said he'd be out all day.

What's he doing here?

Cup of tea and a chat.

-Right...I'd best be off.

-No, no, finish your tea.

-I have done.

-So have a beer.

All right with you?

Not so close!

I never thought I'd come to this...

not to be able to do my own hair.

Well, it's like being in a salon.

Except for the third degree burns.

So he's, um...

happy with you, then?

The doctor.

I told you.

-Do you have to go back?

-No point. Nothing wrong.

Got my pills.

That's nice, you know, your robe thing.

Kimono.

Your grandad give it me.

It's very exotic.

You can have it when I'm gone.

We got it off the market.

It's not really my style. You can leave it to Norman.

He gets nothing, waste of space.

When she was ill...

..towards the end...

..that's when your mum needed me most.

I used to do her hair for her.

Just like you done for me.

A mother shouldn't have to bury her daughter.

Do you want a cup of tea?

I tell you one thing,

his taste in women has gone right up the scale.

Yeah? So's my taste in men.

Glad to hear it.

Some of his girlfriends, though, cor, dear me!

Do you remember that, what was her name...

Melanie?

You were 15. She was a punk.

She was a goth.

Yeah? See, you do remember. Straight from The Addams Family, she was.

I'm surprised you'd ever find her when the lights were out.

Do you want another beer?

No, thanks, love, no. Things to do.

-Another time, yeah?

-Yeah.

She's a treasure.

I know.

BLENDER WHIRRS

DOOR OPENS

My fault, OK? My fault.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. We agreed.

Yeah, we did.

I didn't mean to, it's just Roxy says, "How's things?" and...

it's difficult to keep quiet about something that makes you so happy. Well, it is for me, anyway.

Come on.

You know I love you.

-I know. I just wish that...

-What?

Oh, nothing.

I love you, too.

What you doing, letting him in here?

Why shouldn't I? It's my flat.