19/06/2012 EastEnders


19/06/2012

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Abi! Come on, darling, we're waiting!

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Look what I've got!

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Oh, wow!

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Fruit again? My favourite.

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Oi, I picked all the green bits off the strawberries myself.

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That's enough, that's enough! I should hope so.

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Stop it, it's tropical, isn't it? It's in honour of Abi.

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In fact, bear with me for a minute, cringey mum moment coming up,

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I would like to make a toast.

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A toast. Say cheers to Abi.

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And Costa Rica!

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Costa Rica.

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Well, thanks, but I'd better go get ready, so...

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Oh, well, don't go making any plans! We've got far too much to do.

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We've got to make sure you've got your injections, sun cream...

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But I was going to go meet...

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We've only a couple of days.

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And you're going to be thousands of miles away

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and Walford will be a very distant, grey, memory.

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Blimey, do you ever get the feeling your mum'd rather be somewhere else?

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SHE GROANS

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What now, my love?

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It's this.

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It's gorgeous.

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It's the size of Norfolk. Like me.

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You saying it doesn't fit you?

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It fits perfectly, Michael. That's the problem.

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So you want to get a smaller one so you can rip it up, like last time?

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Here you are, look at this. This'll cheer you up.

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Look.

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Morgan is going to look so cute in that!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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That's going to be the lady from the boutique with our shoes!

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PHONE RINGS

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Get that, will you..?

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Hello?

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No, it's Whitney.

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Right.

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-Brilliant, thank you very much. Do you need me to sign?

-Problem?

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Thank you.

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OK, give him my love.

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Bye.

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OK, so I might look like an elephant in a doily

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but at least my family are all going to look good.

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SHE GIGGLES WITH PLEASURE

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What?

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Whitney?!

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Thank you.

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Alfie, I want to be useful.

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But I can't contribute financially,

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because Michael has got me sacked from the flower stall.

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Like he got me sacked from my cleaning job.

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OK, Jean, listen up OK, I've had a word with Trace,

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-she's quite happy for you to have your job back, all right.

-Really?

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As soon as Michael and Janine's flowers are out the way, yeah?

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I've got to work!

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I've got to pay Eddie back as soon as possible.

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I dunno how you sleep when he cries like that.

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Bit of music, eh?

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I've just seen Roxy, didn't realise you'd fired her. Well done, girl.

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You should see the vans pulling up outside Janine's.

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Fancy shoes, cakes, the only thing missing is her dad's shotgun.

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Yeah, well he'll be turning in his grave at how she's turned out.

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Oi, oi, oi, you need to stop thinking about them two, all right?

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So, basically unless we raise Pat from the grave,

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my entire family are swerving the wedding?

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Did you hear what I just said?

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Liam is laid up in hospital with a broken arm in two places!

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He's going to need an operation, and pins and everything.

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Michael! Well, can't you just talk to them?

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I need to be there.

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You are not going anywhere!

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It's not my fault that Liam was stupid enough to break a limb.

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-Why should that even ruin my big day?

-You're unbelievable.

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-Michael!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. Cheers.

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Who was that?

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Never you mind.

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Look on the bright side, it's a few less mouths to feed.

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I've seen Ricky eat.

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SAFE BEEPS

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SHE SIGHS

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Just get them here.

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No. Money's not going to fix this, Janine. I've cancelled the limos.

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Whitney...please.

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No. I've got be somewhere.

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Where? Michael?

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You reckon Ty's turned up to see Popsicle in her PJs?

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-I do not fancy her.

-Oh yeah, whatever.

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Yeah, we ain't forgotten last time, cos she knocked you back.

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All right, we haven't forgotten that when you were seeing her,

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you were getting it on with her best mate.

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Awk-ward, brother. Hey-hey.

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You look...

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Tired?

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What he means...

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What he means is that you look low-key, you know, you know,

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subtle, sweetheart...plain.

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Yeah, and what he means is only beautiful girls

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can pull off that, you know, no make-up, bare shiny face look.

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Babe, you all right?

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Mm. I forgot how...

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..relaxed you all are about hygiene.

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SHE MOANS

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My life is so...

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depressing.

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SHE SOBS

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I've come for what you owe me...

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I haven't got anything.

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You've got enough to get that fixed.

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Hardly the actions of a skint businesswoman.

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You can't keep doing this.

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Oh, is that right?

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Because of you

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I've got so many authorities breathing down my neck,

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I'm getting a crick.

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But worse, worse than that, you got between me and my daughter.

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That's why I'm fining you.

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Now, I don't go round hurting little girls.

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As long as they pay their debts.

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When you've paid me back enough to cover your misdemeanour,

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then I'll stop.

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I'll come back when that's a bit fuller.

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Shame on you.

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And shame on Ian Beale for leaving you on your own.

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Give us a hand.

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Cor, what the hell you got in there?

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What HAVE you got in there?

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You show me yours first.

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It's just a few bits Alfie's asked me to dig out for Tommy's nursery.

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Nursery?

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Yeah, something about him keeping Kat up all night,

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he wants him to have his own room.

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I bet he flipping does.

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Me and you are going to get flung in together! Like refugees!

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I don't mind.

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It's a shame this stuff's so naff.

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Still, best I could do on Alfie's budget, eh.

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So...Tommy has to make do with a manky one-eyed teddy

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and a flipping horrible blanket?

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Things ain't that bad, Jean.

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Tommy's got loads of toys, ain't he?

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-All right, show us yours, then.

-Yeah, come on. What we got?

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-Where did you get them?

-I've seen nothing.

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I thought they'd be something we could flog, make a few quid?

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It's the least we deserve! Who's going to want that?

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SHE LAUGHS

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Two McKlunky's specials coming up.

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Hiya. I thought you were supposed to be some superstar DJ,

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but you're a chicken-fryer.

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You two, you two think you're funny, don't you, all right?

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You are now talking to a bona fide, full-time paid member

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of the McKlunky's special task force, all right.

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Where pige... chicken is our mission and satisfaction is our passion.

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I mean, someone would actually think you meant that.

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You see that sign there? See that?

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Abuse of employees, EMPLOYEES, will not be tolerated, all right?

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So what does bigmouth want?

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Oi, Jay, this ain't a bus station, mate.

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You have to buy something or get out.

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Oh, if it ain't Princess Abi of Costa Rica.

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Your mum's told everyone. Well done, Abs.

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Ben says you ain't getting paid for it.

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You must be though, right?

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Digging round for some stupid turtle eggs or whatever?

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Well, it's a conservation project, everyone volunteers.

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Erm, why?

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Because it's something they really care about.

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-They'll want to put you in the newspaper, an' all.

-Why?

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Cos only ten geeks in the whole of England got picked.

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-And our geek's one of 'em.

-No I meant...

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She's not going now.

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Go on, show 'em.

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Them turtles are going to have to wait. Because...

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we're getting married.

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No, no, no, you listen to me.

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I'm missing 120 customised mugs and if I don't get...

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SHE GASPS

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SHE MOANS IN PAIN

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SHE EXHALES HEAVILY

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'Hello, it's Michael. Leave a message.'

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SHE GASPS AND MOANS

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You know what, Scabs,

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I think this is the most interesting thing you've ever done.

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We just need to find a way of telling your mum and dad

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that the big trip's off, that's all.

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Why does getting engaged mean she can't go?

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Why have you always got to stick the boot in?

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-I've gotta go.

-You only just got here!

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Yeah, I said I'd take some books back to school.

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Why should you get this tatty rubbish

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when your baby sister gets brand-new everything?

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Go!

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Yeah, go.

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You know, they stole from me and your mummy and daddy

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when they've already got everything that they could wish for.

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Not fair, is it? Hmm?

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I've been looking for you everywhere.

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-How come you haven't replied to my texts?

-Hang on!

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You think you deserve my shoulder to cry on, then, do you?

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Can't we just forget that rubbish for five minutes?

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I mean, why are you being such a selfish cow?!

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Charming.

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Come on, Nan.

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I'm pretty sure it's a urinary tract infection.

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It felt like I was dying.

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They can be incredibly painful.

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The good news is, it should be easily sorted and your baby's fine.

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So what do I do?

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We need to get you some antibiotics and make sure you stay...

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PHONE RINGS

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..hydrated.

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Whitney! Any news?

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I don't believe this!

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I'll have to call you back in ten minutes.

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Problem?

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Yes, one of the many that come with owning a business,

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a runaway fiance, a wedding to organise this week,

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120 missing mugs and an entire missing family.

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Apart from that, everything is problem-free, doc.

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Sorry, it's your wedding this week?

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Yes, we've got a marquee across the Square, 400 quails eggs,

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dozens of bottles of champagne.

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And, like I said, a missing family.

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So that's going to mean an awful lot of leftovers.

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It sounds extremely stressful.

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Which really isn't good for the baby.

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Well, yeah, but you said that I could just drink some water...

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For the infection. You're forgetting you're heavily pregnant.

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You should be winding down,

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preparing for the rigours of childbirth.

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Yeah, but hang on a minute,

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you read about those women that work right up until they go into labour.

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It's rarer than you think.

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And I definitely wouldn't recommend the emotional roller coaster

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you just described.

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-It's a shame you can't postpone for a couple of months.

-The birth?

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The wedding.

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D'you know, I reckon you're going to be one of those househusbands.

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Cos, I mean, Abi's going to earn way more than you.

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Where's Phil?

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Gone away with Shirley, he'll be back tomorrow though.

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-You all right?

-Mind your own business.

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Is this... Is this about Ian?

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Jean, please...

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D'you know, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a big fat cushion

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stuffed up there, just so you can get Michael to marry you.

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You are mad!

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Do you think it's fair that little Tommy should suffer?

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I mean, if Michael can steal from his own child

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what makes you think he'll treat yours any better?

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Do you think Janine'll like it?

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You're joking, aren't you? She's left us word-for-word instructions.

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Right down to what hair grips to use. She's going to love it.

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Right, well, I'll make a move, then.

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Thanks. And you know good luck et cetera. With life and that.

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That's all a bit final, innit.

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Well, all the wedding stuff's all sorted and, you know,

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Gaynor'll be back soon, so...

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Yeah actually, I was hoping,

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and I know it's a big ask what with you being so busy and everything,

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but I was hoping you'd stay on till the actual wedding's done.

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-Yeah!

-Yeah?

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Yeah great! Thanks, yeah!

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You sure your clients can spare you?

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The only dates in my diary are with the job centre

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and the ice-cream van.

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Oh, darling, I was wondering why a successful shellac nail artist

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was ripping my hand off for a couple of days' work.

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Oh, sweetheart, come here.

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It's such a hard time to be setting up on your own.

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You will get there, though.

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Yeah.

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Meanwhile, how about I give you three days a week,

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see how you get on, eh?

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-Yeah.

-Yeah?

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Oh, good. Shall we celebrate? I fancy some ice cream.

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Mint choc chip?

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Caramel with chopped-up frosted pecans

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and chocolate-covered popcorn.

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Arghhh!

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THEY GIGGLE

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Here you go. Cheers, sweetheart, thank you.

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Can't arrange a stag without the groom's oldest.

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-Right, so we're having it here, yeah?

-Can we do this later, yeah?

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I've got to be somewhere. I'll see you later, boys.

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Yeah, see you later, Michael.

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Oh, here we go. Here's the little man.

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-All right, Jean?

-All right, sweetheart.

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-So where have you been all day then?

-Me?

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Well, I've been helping Michael, getting these.

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-Look at them.

-Very nice.

-Hands off!

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You do know Ty reckons he should be best man.

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-I look better in photos.

-Yeah?

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-Alfie?

-Yes, darling?

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I've been putting pressure on Janine to expose Michael,

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but I can't do it on my own, I need you to...

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Alfie!

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Jean, please. I'm trying to run a pub here, all right. Just...

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Don't be... What are you doing? Don't keep banging it, it ain't going to work then, is it?

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As the actress says to the bishop.

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-Magic touch, Alf.

-Yeah, all right.

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You don't mind me being best man, do you?

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Nah, listen, head usher's all I can take.

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Knowing us, we'll have a row before tomorrow

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-and I'll be banned from everything.

-They've gone!

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-Oh, here we go.

-No, Jack, I'm serious.

-Yeah, right.

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Kat! Kat close the doors. No-one leaves. Jack, I'm serious, mate.

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Yes!

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Look what we've got.

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-Shall we tell them now?

-No way!

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You haven't changed your mind, have you?

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What you two whispering about? Come on, come and sit down.

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What's all this? Abi, you ain't pregnant, are you?

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Of course she's not!

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No. My Abi's going to be a high flier, aren't you darling?

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Not some housewife in a pinny.

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-Juice, Jay?

-Cheers.

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-Ooh, sorry.

-Sorry!

-Max, get a cloth, quick.

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Sorry about that, Tan.

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Do you fancy the pictures later?

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Mum, I'd love to, but I want to spend as much time with Abs

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as possible before she goes.

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-It's stuck.

-Pull it off.

-I'm trying.

-Just pull it really hard.

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-KNOCK ON DOOR

-It's stuck.

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Get that, will you, Lauren?

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Sorry, I forgot golden children can't possibly open doors.

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What are you doing in there?

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I bet he brings a tea towel back.

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Why do men do that?

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Abigail! Congratulations! Y'know you get your brains from me, don't you?

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Do you have to remind her you're related. You'll give her nightmares.

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Right, everyone, sit down.

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You all right, Del?

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It's not stealing, not properly. Cos it's the right thing to do.

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-It is stealing!

-Yeah well, you and Mo gave me the idea.

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You stole a box of mugs!

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What?

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You said that if we took all their wedding stuff

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and we sold it, we'd get all our money back. Our money!

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Oh, well done, Kat.

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You caught her in time, didn't ya!

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Jean, give me the rings, sweetheart. Jean, rings now, darling. Thank you.

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Do you know what would've happened if you be caught flogging these?

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Michael and Janine would've had you banged up

0:18:360:18:38

in Holloway before it went dark!

0:18:380:18:40

In the battle of good versus evil, good will always win. Always!

0:18:400:18:43

Kat, will you talk to her, please?

0:18:430:18:44

He's right. This is exactly what they wanted you to do.

0:18:440:18:47

Well, I'm sorry. But it was that one-eyed teddy and the rubbish lamp,

0:18:470:18:51

and I just didn't want Tommy to go without.

0:18:510:18:53

I understand. Now, give Tommy to me. Come on.

0:18:530:18:56

Jean, without any evidence, sweetheart, it's all pointless.

0:18:560:19:00

You've got to let it go, all right? Let it go.

0:19:020:19:05

Come on, mate.

0:19:050:19:06

Cake, anyone? I got you cherry bakewells.

0:19:080:19:10

No Battenberg?

0:19:100:19:12

-Shall we make a toast?

-Good idea.

0:19:120:19:15

Another one?

0:19:150:19:16

Raise your glasses if you will, to our beautiful, brainy, daughter.

0:19:160:19:19

Oh, don't, no, Dad, don't, cos I'll blush.

0:19:190:19:23

-To Abi!

-To Abi!

0:19:240:19:26

Well go on, raise your glass.

0:19:260:19:27

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:19:270:19:29

I'll get it!

0:19:290:19:31

Oh, right,

0:19:310:19:32

so is this the bit where we toast my all-round fabulosity then?

0:19:320:19:36

We'll have to widen them doors, your head gets any bigger.

0:19:360:19:39

What do you want?

0:19:420:19:45

Lauren, if you want to talk to your drinking buddy,

0:19:450:19:47

go to your room, please.

0:19:470:19:50

This is Abi's big day. Why don't I bring Lauren back inside?

0:19:540:19:58

No, she'll be fine.

0:19:580:20:00

It's my dad...

0:20:020:20:03

Well, hold on, I was a selfish cow earlier?

0:20:030:20:05

I lied about the honeymoon. I don't know where he is.

0:20:050:20:08

What?

0:20:080:20:09

I've kept everything going - the business, Bobby -

0:20:090:20:11

I dunno how much longer I can do it, not on my own.

0:20:110:20:14

Well, OK, slow down.

0:20:140:20:16

I'm so scared.

0:20:160:20:17

Scared? Why?

0:20:170:20:20

I've got to go.

0:20:240:20:26

Lucy, wait!

0:20:260:20:28

Lauren, you better come back inside before Jay eats all the cake.

0:20:290:20:32

About those rings...

0:20:400:20:41

Yeah, about those rings. It doesn't look good, does it?

0:20:410:20:43

Her nicking wedding rings, while you and Mo are nicking God knows what.

0:20:430:20:47

How can something a foot and a half long need a room of its own?

0:20:470:20:50

I'm lost.

0:20:500:20:52

You two! Forcing me and Jean to share a room.

0:20:520:20:53

I thought it was about time Tommy had his own room.

0:20:530:20:56

No, it's too soon. Anyway, Jean needs her own space now.

0:20:560:20:58

-I just thought you'd be pleased.

-Does that mean I can keep my room?

0:20:580:21:01

Shut up! He's getting a nursery, all right.

0:21:010:21:03

-Just leave it.

-Lovely.

0:21:030:21:04

These wedding rings, why did you have them?

0:21:040:21:07

Yeah, I meant to tell you. It's just that he, Michael, he...

0:21:070:21:09

I'm surprised you're all right with him having his stag do here.

0:21:090:21:12

I suppose that was your idea an' all?

0:21:120:21:15

Michael's stag do?

0:21:180:21:20

Kat, we need the cash, all right.

0:21:200:21:21

Yeah, the cash that he robbed off us!

0:21:210:21:23

It's a stag do and he's asked me...

0:21:230:21:25

Asked you what?

0:21:250:21:27

..if I can be his best man, all right.

0:21:270:21:29

SHE LAUGHS

0:21:290:21:31

You obviously said no!

0:21:310:21:32

Yes. Yes, well of course I said no.

0:21:320:21:34

I said no, straight away.

0:21:340:21:37

You don't always say no, though, do you?

0:21:370:21:39

Like when you're making big decisions without me.

0:21:390:21:42

Oh, really?

0:21:420:21:43

Big decisions like whether Tommy's going to get his own room or not?

0:21:430:21:46

Like that?

0:21:460:21:47

No.

0:21:470:21:49

Like taking thousands of quid off your little blonde mate.

0:21:490:21:52

Don't bother lying, again, she told me.

0:21:540:21:58

She told me everything!

0:21:580:21:59

DOOR OPENS

0:22:080:22:10

All right?

0:22:130:22:15

Didn't you listen to your messages?

0:22:190:22:21

I'm heavily pregnant, you should leave your phone on.

0:22:210:22:24

I have. It's been on all day.

0:22:240:22:26

I've been up and down the country

0:22:260:22:28

trying to sort this out for the wedding.

0:22:280:22:32

That's it. Keep your... Keep your eyes shut. Don't move.

0:22:320:22:37

Let's get rid of that.

0:22:420:22:44

HE TURNS TV OFF

0:22:440:22:46

OLD LOVE SONG PLAYS

0:22:550:22:58

Your mum and dad's favourite record.

0:23:000:23:02

My dad played this at Ricky's christening,

0:23:060:23:10

then it just sort of became their thing.

0:23:100:23:13

How did you know?

0:23:130:23:15

Oh, a bit of help from Whitney.

0:23:150:23:17

And a record dealer in Oxford.

0:23:190:23:21

We'll be all right.

0:23:270:23:30

It was going to be a surprise, you know.

0:23:300:23:32

It was going to be our, um... our first dance.

0:23:320:23:36

But I thought you needed cheering up.

0:23:380:23:40

You shouldn't have.

0:23:400:23:43

The wedding's off.

0:23:430:23:45

I'm just come for what you owe me. Quickly and quietly.

0:23:570:24:01

Oh, and that was very silly, what you did earlier.

0:24:010:24:04

Involving my family. I wouldn't do that again if I was you.

0:24:040:24:07

Stop playing games, Lucy.

0:24:130:24:15

See you tomorrow.

0:24:280:24:30

You, uh...

0:24:380:24:40

When you were talking about my dad...

0:24:400:24:43

Jean of all people said something.

0:24:430:24:44

That freak? She's nuts.

0:24:440:24:48

She said I should be sure

0:24:480:24:50

that you're going to be a good dad to our child.

0:24:500:24:53

She said that?

0:24:530:24:54

And you cancel our wedding based on that? Again?

0:24:540:24:59

Postponed. The doctor said that I'm stressed out.

0:24:590:25:02

Doctor? I don't even know about a doctor.

0:25:020:25:04

You've got 14 missed calls on your phone,

0:25:040:25:07

why else do you think?

0:25:070:25:08

She said any more stress could harm the baby.

0:25:080:25:10

The baby's all right, though?

0:25:120:25:14

You're not helping...

0:25:140:25:16

Jean. Yeah.

0:25:190:25:22

Jean!

0:25:220:25:24

Did you enjoy your lunch, darling?

0:25:270:25:30

Yeah.

0:25:300:25:31

Even with Derek burping at you across the table?

0:25:310:25:34

Shall we go for a walk?

0:25:340:25:36

-Thought you liked this film.

-Yeah, don't go anywhere.

0:25:360:25:39

We won't get to be together like this again for ages.

0:25:390:25:42

I'm going to miss you.

0:25:420:25:44

-Your nails look nice, don't they?

-Oh yeah, Poppy did them.

0:25:450:25:48

Did she? Yeah, she's done a lovely job...

0:25:480:25:50

What you doing?

0:25:510:25:53

I'm really sorry, but this is just madness.

0:25:530:25:56

We're engaged.

0:25:560:25:58

And Abi's not going on her trip, because we're getting married.

0:25:580:26:01

And I wouldn't mind a complimentary hairdo occasionally,

0:26:070:26:11

if you're hanging about.

0:26:110:26:13

Yeah, sure.

0:26:130:26:15

Lauren's nan just offered me a place where she lives.

0:26:150:26:19

And Tanya's given me a job! Group hug, please!

0:26:190:26:23

Love your work, love your work, love your work. Come here.

0:26:230:26:27

So exciting!

0:26:270:26:29

Ah, My fairy god-brother.

0:26:290:26:32

I don't know what you're talking about.

0:26:320:26:34

Just forget it.

0:26:340:26:35

-Has Alfie told you I'm going to be his number two?

-Really?

0:26:350:26:38

-Yeah.

-Didn't know you knew anything about football.

0:26:380:26:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reckons she knows a lot about blokes.

0:26:410:26:44

Well, she's had plenty of practice!

0:26:440:26:46

ALL LAUGH

0:26:460:26:47

-You!

-Ahh!

0:26:580:26:59

Thanks to you, Janine's stressed out, you think that's good for my baby?

0:27:000:27:04

You're lying again!

0:27:040:27:05

Leave her alone!

0:27:050:27:07

I felt sorry for you, I pitied you and you what,

0:27:070:27:10

you try and ruin my life?

0:27:100:27:12

Michael, oi, oi, oi! What's the matter?

0:27:120:27:14

I'm going to make you pay for this.

0:27:140:27:16

-Alfie!

-We can't get involved...

0:27:160:27:17

-You cannot let him talk to her like that!

-Ray, Ray.

0:27:170:27:20

-Ray, get him out.

-Come on, mate, outside, all right?

-No-one gets me out!

0:27:200:27:24

-Michael, that's enough.

-I'm going to make you pay, girl!

0:27:240:27:26

I already have!

0:27:260:27:29

That's enough. Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on, outside!

0:27:290:27:32

If I was you, I'd sleep with one eye open.

0:27:380:27:41

Shame you can't choose your family, ain't it, boys, eh?

0:27:410:27:44

But you can choose your husband.

0:27:440:27:46

Don't let them spoil everything. They're jealous!

0:27:490:27:52

We have to get married now, just to prove them all wrong.

0:27:540:27:57

THUNDER CLAP

0:28:070:28:10

Look at me, look at me.

0:28:100:28:12

Come here, look at me, look at me. I promised you.

0:28:130:28:18

I promised you I'd look after you, didn't I?

0:28:180:28:20

I promised you I'd take care of both of you. Both of you.

0:28:200:28:23

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0:29:080:29:11

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