30/06/2011 EastEnders

Oi! Get up!

What's wrong?!

What the hell's this??

-Jack, I don't know how he got there!

-Oi, get up!

-Jack, Jack, Jack!

Listen to me, he's obviously sleepwalking again, isn't he?

Look at him, he's got his clothes, he's got his shoes on.

You terrified me!

Well, how did he get in here?

I don't know, maybe he was asleep on the sofa or something.

I could've been laying there.

Maybe he likes you more than you think.

So what we going to do with him?

I don't know, you're not meant to wake them up. What are you doing?

-Come on then, couch.

-OK, OK.

-Not staying in with him, are we?

-Ah!

-Hi!

-Kat?

-There's Daddy.

Hello, little man. You all right?

Do you ever get premonitions, like you can sense something?

Only I've got this tingle and it's not a good tingle.

It's more of a feeling.

What if Ronnie gets off?

-Oh, can't happen.

-What if she does?

-Kat look at me, look at me.

-Can't happen cos it's not possible.

-Why am I feeling these things? What is it all about?

Hey.

Hi.

-Hi, yourself.

-What are you doing in, you perv?

-I want my rent.

-Get out!

-300 quid by 5 o'clock today.

I said leave.

Now it's three o'clock.

-I'll call the police.

-It's two o'clock now.

You're still a perv!

DOOR SLAMS

Sorry.

It's all right. It's all right, I promise.

On your bed, though? It is a bit weird. I'm sorry.

See you later.

Michael.

You know this new QC thing?

Well, Jack seems to think that he can win.

I mean, that can't really happen, can it? Me just walking free?

I don't know, Jack's been in a ton of courts and seen loads of nutters walk...

I didn't mean that.

You know what I mean.

It'd be something, though, wouldn't it?

Don't know what you're laughing at.

You could help. I mean, you owe me. Don't you think?

-Oh!

-Little bird tells me you're the best grub merchant in London.

-I just do my best.

Bet you know your way around a sausage.

-No more than most.

-Show me, Jean. Show me what you can do with it.

There's a cafe over the road. Get your own breakfast, you cheeky beggar.

Oi! Time to get decent.

We'll always have this moment.

I've just been with Anthony. Our books aren't quite balancing.

So I'm thinking...

-obituaries.

-Not on an empty stomach, Dad.

We need new stock.

Right, in a bit. Come find me, yeah?

-Morning, Jeanie.

-Oh! Oh!

I'll just...

get a cloth.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where's the fire, then?

You don't want to know.

Obituaries.

Every dead person has the potential of laying a Faberge egg.

Well, you never know what they leave behind.

Pat! I was calling you!

I heard. Now, if you don't much mind I've got a load of Ricky's laundry to do.

So did he make much money in Dubai?

-That's none of your business.

-Pat.

Lovely, lovely Pat...

-If this is a mugging, I'm taking you down with me.

-Two seconds of your time. Please.

I found something.

-That's the bracelet...

-..my Dad bought you. Didn't he?

I found it in my stuff.

Well, I just saw it and immediately thought of you.

Thank you.

Thanks, babe.

What your QC would like is as many character testimonies as you can get.

From family and friends.

-People who can vouch for Ronnie in their own way.

-I'll get on that as soon as.

Make sure you do. I can only hold off giving the judge his bundle for so long.

The QC would also like to open up your past to the court.

-Really?

-It'll be all right, it'll help.

Your father, the abuse, your daughter, the miscarriage.

That history has to come out.

I really don't think I want to talk about that.

Ron, right now we've got to use whatever we can.

For the first time in your life turning all those negatives into a positive.

-They're just going to lock me up for longer.

-Ronnie...

Ronnie, you're the victim here.

Someone who was driven to the point of no return.

It's a massive part of your defence.

You're going to win it.

You really don't think she'll care?

-Which one's yours?

-Lemon, no ice.

-So what's Jodie having?

-Ice, no lemon.

How am I going to tell her?

I mean, I'm going out with her ex-boyfriend.

I thought Jodie wanted still?

Well, well, if it isn't my favourite new face! Still got that fella?

-Still got those wheels, have you?

-Touche. Jodie, wasn't it?

We have to stop meeting like this. People will talk.

-They already are. Who's this?

-Tyler Moon. That's a sharp suit, pal.

Game show host and his glamorous assistant.

Actually, I think you'll find he's with me.

-She's with him. I'd never...

-She's my fiance and this expensive whistle runs a business.

-Well, technically it's Max's business.

-But I'm employee of the month again.

Listen, who does what, I don't care. Who's with who, that's what I do.

So what's the deal? Don't tell me young Alan Sugar here's done the double.

-That's gross!

-So gross!

But, Jodes, I need to tell you something!

Here we go. You're dumping your boyfriend.

-Don't worry, petal, I tend to have that effect.

-It's Poppy.

-And she doesn't have a boyfriend.

-You see, we got there in the end.

What is it, Pops?

Oh, there's ice in my drink.

There's ice in her drink. And this water's fizzy, Darren.

Oh...

It's just us, then, ladies.

I was wondering what happened to this.

Frank bought it for me in this little jewellery shop just off Brighton Pier.

Do you know? He even haggled the bloke down a bit.

Thanks, Janine, I really appreciate it, haven't got much left that your dad gave me.

The thing is, Pat...

memories are expensive.

Silly me. For a minute there, I thought you'd grown a heart.

So what shall we say? 100?

-Sling your hook.

-Oh, all right, then, 80 and you can relive Brighton for the rest of your days.

This cost your dad a fiver. It's silver plate.

Yes, but you're not factoring in for inflation.

The trouble with being cheap, Janine, is you never know what something's really worth.

No. Well, now we know what it's worth, don't we?

Hey, what you doing?

Running repairs. Nice trip?

Nothing ever changes, does it?

Silly girl. I'd have paid 50 just for the memory.

Well?

Yeah, it's looking good.

If you get this sorted, I will love you for ever.

-Yes, well, let's all just stay calm for now.

-Sorry. sorry!

And there she was, at the station with him.

Smashed my heart like a dropped pint glass.

Well, that is sad.

-So sad.

-But you did sleep with her sister! Her sister.

I'm just glad she's with someone who'll treat her right.

-Oh, yeah, all right! Who are you kidding?!

-Darren!

-Can't fool a fool, eh, Dazza?

-It's Darren.

-Jodie, a pleasure as always.

You be sure to let me know when spring arrives, Petal.

-It's Poppy.

-Poppy, I'll be the first out the hive.

Yeah, I'll let Julian know.

-You're seeing Julian?

-I'm seeing him. Hate me, don't you?

No. I so don't hate you.

Look, I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude and I don't normally do this,

but can I get your name?

Just your name, that's all. So I can spell it out in my sleep.

-She smiles! It's my lucky day.

-Don't push it, mate.

If you won't give me a name, at least give me a number.

Come on, what you playing the shy girl for?

I bet you've given it out to worse.

What do you think I am, eh?

Maybe later, then?

-Oop.

-Ooh!

Ouch, that's got to be embarrassing.

Folk round here might start talking.

It's the bounce, not the fall, Dazza. Ta-ta, girls.

Oh, sweetheart, you're starting early, ain't you?

I need it. I've just seen 'em.

-Ronnie and Jack.

-Where?

Outside. They were with a woman and they were looking happy.

Why would they look happy? What have they got to be happy about?

I don't know, darling.

-Alfie, you got any change?

-Something's going on, I know it.

-Hello?

Morning, mate. Sorry, what can I get you?

-Some change for the float?

-Yeah. Not a problem.

-Wonder what it's like, only having a few days of freedom.

-You talking about Ronnie?

Tell you what, they're going to rip her apart inside.

-Always do when it's to do with babies.

-Let's hope so.

Don't how she thought she'd get away with it.

-I never used to like you much.

-I grow on people.

-Janine, Janine! Oi, Ian!

-Oi! Janine!

Alfie, they were laughing. Why would they be laughing?

So this QC ain't lost a case in three years.

Sounds promising. Why are you whispering?

Cos he's our ace in the hole.

Don't want Kat and Alfie finding out. Ronnie wants it kept quiet.

Fair play. What if she gets off, then?

-What do you mean?

-You're going to live here?

-You serious? No, no, we're gone. We're out of here. Forever.

-No more Tommy, then?

-He ain't mine, is he?

-No, don't suppose he is.

Can't stay here for a baby that ain't mine.

No, not saying you should. I could keep you updated.

Send you photos, pictures.

Yeah. Cheers, mate. Thanks(!)

Sorry. You just concentrate on Ronnie.

I don't suppose there's anything you can do, anyway, in the scheme of things.

-I can't exactly go round there, can I?

-Maybe you can.

-Maybe you can. I can keep Ronnie occupied, distracted.

-How?

I don't know.

I'll tell her we're all going out for lunch, we're all meeting up there.

What, and I turn up late?

How long's it going to take? You only need ten minutes, don't you?

It's wrong, ain't it?

That you'll miss him?

No.

You were his dad.

Once.

Get round there, Jack.

Probably your last chance, mate.

-I grew this for you.

-You after another punch?

-Yeah, course I am. It's my bag, getting whacked by babes.

-I ain't joking.

-I'll have this in a sandwich.

-Marie, can I get a coffee, please?

-Sure.

So you're either engaged or you've got a rich bloke with a fast car and a chalet in Cyprus.

-Right?

-No. Cos I don't do boys. Or men.

-Well, there's a pretty picture.

-Or girls.

That just leaves animals and tree-hugging.

-I'm not interested in anything.

-Everyone's interested in something.

Listen, right? I don't why but I'm going to be kind to you.

I've gone off men in a major way,

so if you don't keep your distance...

I'm just going to knock your nose off your face.

Obituaries!

-Dad...

-Death's our business, son.

I've got three addresses. I've made the calls, let's get moving.

-Listen, everyone's got a thing, right?

-A thing?

-That turns you on. Everyone has that, yeah?

-What are you asking?

Hard as this is to swallow, but see that Bambi there...

-she turned me down.

-Never!

-It's outrageous.

-Improper.

-Totally wrong.

-A crime.

Come on.

We're shut.

Why didn't you tell me it was a bag full of receipts?

-That's still theft.

-So...arrest me.

Janine, what you playing at?

You'd never get away with something like that.

Maybe I've just reached that point.

You sound desperate.

Question is, how desperate?

-Don't you dare.

-Come on, get on all fours.

You are disgusting.

Get on all fours...

..and scrub the floor.

-Whilst you're down there, I'll have a little think about other jobs you can do for me.

-All right.

Only if you give me an advance.

-How much?

-300.

-Yeah, right(!)

300 and I'll be yours for the next month.

And I'll do anything. Within...

Within reason.

How do I know I can trust you?

Well, I just brought your stupid money bag back, didn't I?

-Going to take more than that.

-Like what?

Like I said.

On all fours.

Yeah, it was a really great meeting, Max.

Got a lot going for us.

Don't know. It's like all the bad stuff's coming good.

Yeah, it's the most positive I've been in months.

So we're doing lunch, then?

OK.

Celebrating.

Well, we haven't won yet.

Feeling is you will.

-I'll believe that when it happens.

-You're right. We shouldn't get too far ahead of ourselves.

No.

Tempting as that is.

-Listen, just text me when you get to the Argee Bhajee.

-All right.

-I'll be quick as I can.

-All right. Don't blow it.

-Meaning?

-Well, no tears.

No welling up, no lump in the throat. They'll cotton on.

I'll be fine.

Hey, Tiffany! Tiffany, look!

Hey, stop that!

-I'm warning you, Tiffany!

-Smile.

-I mean it, all right?

Just go back to school.

We're doing a project. Animals in the city.

Ian, will you tell them?

Janine the wild dog.

-Shut up, all right?

-Woof woof.

-One more comment from you...

Here, doggy, doggy.

Er, if you want that advance, finish scrubbing.

Kat. Kat, listen, sweetheart, I'll tell you what...

I'll have a word with Jack, find out who that woman was.

I need more than that. I want you to go and have it out with him.

That's what you should be doing - manning up.

You can do that, can't you?

Oh. All right, Jack?

I saw this and I thought of Tommy.

-Are they looking at me?

-Yeah.

They are.

But they're probably just thinking what a handsome couple we are.

Well, I'm handsome.

-You drinking?

-No, no, better not.

-Bottle of house red, please.

-Certainly.

-Thank you.

So, look...

for the next hour, let's just relax and just be you.

Well, the old you.

You don't know the old me.

No, no, I don't.

I'd quite like to, though.

Here you are. Look...

PAT LAUGHS

Oh, Janine, ain't you the little scrubber?

I'm going to frame that.

Be a nice memory.

-A keepsake, since you broke my other one.

-Why'd you do that?

It was for Granny.

-Granny?

-Yeah, towards funeral costs.

Just making sure no-one chucks her on a bonfire or something.

-Does it cost a lot, then?

-Yes, loads.

Bet you feel really guilty now, gloating like that when I'm just trying to do my best here.

Janine, that is the cleanest chip shop floor in the entire world.

You're mine now.

-OK, I get it.

-No, no, tell Pat and Ricky.

I want witnesses.

No way!

You belong to me.

-Ian, behave, will you?

-Forget it. I'll keep the cash.

-Fine. Pat, Ricky. I...

Oh, God... I belong to Ian now.

I just hope Granny's watching.

What d'you reckon, Alfie? West Ham, midfield?

I was thinking more of a striker, Jack.

Long as he gets us tickets for the match, eh?

England, West Ham. Expect nothing less from you, yeah?

-See, the thing is...

-Alfie, need your muscle.

-Uh, no... Eddie.

-It's only George Street.

Great, big sideboard, total bargain. Me and Ty can't lift it.

-Yeah, I know...

-Why don't you go, yeah?

-Cos you're doing nothing here, are you?

-Kat...

-Just go!

All right.

I should ring Roxy, shouldn't I?

-No, you'd better not.

-Yeah?

-She's just going to...

-bang on about the statements and the QC.

-Fair enough.

So where were we? Yeah, Ibiza.

So all blokes putting it on you?

Well, I may have had a few offers.

-Anyone special?

-No, no. I was always...looking out for Roxy.

Bet she can get into trouble.

Yeah, she can. That girl knows how to get into trouble.

-She's wild.

-She is.

-But you were there.

-To sort her out.

-I was. Every time, without fail.

She'll miss you, you know.

She'll be lost, I reckon. If...

-I really don't want to talk about that.

-Course you don't. Sorry.

Sorry.

Anyway, you're going to be there for her. Aren't you?

Yeah, course. But it's not going to come to that.

-You don't think so?

-No. Cos I can feel it in my water.

-You're a clairvoyant?

-No, got a weak bladder.

Sorry.

It suits you, laughing.

It does. It's nice.

Good teeth. They your own, or...?

They are my own teeth, shut up!

Right, like that, is it? Have some of that.

-All right, stop it. Stop it.

-What about that. Over the top... underneath.

-Stop it, Michael!

-Got it in my hand.

-Stop!

Don't, don't. Don't. I'm in enough trouble as it is.

Jack said that...

He said you could go away, for a long time. He said forever.

I'd be sorry if that happened.

Yeah, it's going to happen one way or another.

I'm so sorry!

Hey.

-Hey.

-Hiya.

-Sorry, did I get the wrong time?

-No.

-No.

-No?

-No.

-All right, never mind. I'm here now.

-You are.

So what we laughing about?

Excuse me, can I get a large... really large glass of white wine, please? Thank you.

So come on, then. What about this new QC?

I can't wait to see him in action!

Oi, perv! You can put that lot back.

Look what I've got.

Yes, that's right. Your money.

So you can put it all back. Neatly.

You don't understand.

It's my legal right to kick you out regardless. Which is what I'm doing.

Er, yes. But you can't.

-Because now I've given you your money.

-Read it...and weep.

What are you laughing at?

Ming or minging?

-Minging.

-Burke and Hare, am I done here? I've got a job to do.

-Never mind this grave-robbing business.

-This is proper.

Oh, really?

Look at that. It's so wrong.

-That's Michael all over.

-Gorgeous bit of trim like that getting banged up.

What a waste.

Hey!

-What you doing?

-Doing?

-What you doing with them?

-It's my girlfriend and her sister. Problem?

-Yeah. There's a problem. Who's side are you on?

-Come on, let's just go.

-I'll catch up.

-Yeah.

Right, listen to me.

I couldn't say anything then but I've been digging.

Now, I'm a Moon and I'm just as angry as you are.

Jack has got a new brief.

The best in the business, best money can buy, ain't lost a case in three years.

Three years!

Jack's going to get Ronnie off.

Jack.

I'm not being funny, but I saw you earlier. You and Ronnie.

You was with this woman. Roxy was all over her as well.

Just seems a bit weird that you were so happy.

-Happy?

-Yeah.

Just a friend of Roxy's, she came round.

Honest?

What have we got to be happy about?

Sorry.

I had to ask. It's been driving me nuts.

-Listen, I'd better go.

-You know you can come over after the sentencing.

If you feel the need to. The door's always open to you.

-Come on, we should get back.

-Hold on. Michael?

-I don't believe this.

-What?

He's just told me Jack's gone to see Tommy.

No, he can't be. I mean, he must be lying.

-I wish he was.

-No, no, no. That's not right, it's not.

-Well...

You look after him.

I always do.

Just saying it, really. You know he deserves the best.

What you get him.

Oi. How could you do that, eh, Jack?

-How could you do that to us?

-Alfie?

Why don't you tell Kat, eh?

Why not tell her how you've been taking us for a ride?!

-What?

-I'm lost, mate.

-Course you're lost. We'd have been there for you, Jack.

We'd have even been there for you when Ronnie went down.

And you know what?

I'd have been... I can't believe he's been mugging us.

I'd have been happy for you to be part of Tommy's life.

But you know what he's gone and done?

He's got himself the best QC. Yeah, well done, Jack!

The best QC that money can buy.

-Jack, no.

-This brief hasn't lost a case in three years!

Eh? Why did you do that to us?

Why did you...? Get out! Get out! Get out.

Get out of my pub! And you stay away from Tommy, all right?!

Ronnie...

Ronnie?

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