14/07/2011 EastEnders


14/07/2011

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Transcript


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MUSIC: "Lose Yourself" by Eminem

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# You only get one shot

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# Do not miss your chance to blow

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# This opportunity comes once in a lifetime

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# You better lose yourself... #

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MUSIC CONTINUES INSIDE

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-No, no...

-Excuse me.

-I can start today, I'll do anything...

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Oi, excuse me, do you know Billy Mitchell?

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Oi!

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Hello?

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MUSIC: "Lollipop" by The Chordettes

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-AFIA:

-Sorry! It's nearly dry. Most of it.

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I thought parents were supposed to be selfless.

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By the time that social worker comes tomorrow,

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-I'll have ticked every box in the adoption rule book.

-In one day?

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Listen, we deal with this list...

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sort out every...complication,

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then the only ones that can mess this up

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are you or me.

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See you later, guys.

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AFIA SINGS ALONG TO "Lollipop"

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Hello?

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Hello?

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I said hello! If it's not too much trouble, I'd like a phone charger.

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I've sold out, all right?

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-So what's this then?

-D'you know Billy Mitchell?

-Only to the untrained eye,

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-it looks like a phone charger.

-What, am I invisible?

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Are you lot braindead, or what? I am not interested in phone chargers or in Billy Mitchell

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or in Nigeria for that matter, or in this nasty, brop-down stall, OK?!

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Oi, oi, oi!

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-Have you seen my wallet?

-No. Why, do you think I nicked it?

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Hardly worth it. Oyster card and a signed picture of Jordan.

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I'm going to go to work.

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I know you didn't mean what you said yesterday.

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-I know.

-First time we've gone to bed on an argument.

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It's fine. I've forgotten it.

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Julie.

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I know we never got to know our boy, but...

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at least he left us something.

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A ray of hope.

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Lola.

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What, the kid that told me our son hated me till the day he died?

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That little ray of hope?

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That constitutes aggressive and abusive behaviour. I'm going to have to issue a formal warning.

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You know what, don't bother! Cos I'm done, all right? Done!

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Don't be late, right? I've sorted you out. I know you got dumped, but I've got a train to catch.

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You know what? Get out my face, bruv!

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No, Bernadette, I dumped him.

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Yeah, cos he's a loser.

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I know you, don't I?

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Do you mind?

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Molly? Nah, nah, nah, it's Sally, innit?

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Um, I'm going to have to call you back.

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You go my school, don't you?

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Soz! Must have you mixed up with someone else.

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All right? Do you want some of my sausage?

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-You're not shy much, are you?

-See you around.

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MARKET HUBBUB DROWNS VOICES

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Morning.

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Zainab! Masood!

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I need to talk to you about the adoption.

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Ian's brought you this.

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Yeah, it's your stock. Some feral child was filling her boots.

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And I brought you this. It's your favourite -

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breast, hot and spicy.

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I know you're...

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you're thinking your life's over. I mean, why would anyone want you

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after all the terrible things you've done?

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Yes, well, he ain't like you, Ian.

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I mean, all he's done is offer his heart on a plate,

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tear down his defences, expose his weaknesses,

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had it thrown in his face like last night's fish-and-chip wrappings.

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Boy...wow!

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-She weren't worth your love, Arthur.

-Love?! You know what,

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that is a lie invented by billionaires that make Valentine's cards,

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the couples-only hotels, the romcoms...

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-Ian!

-Love!

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Look, I'm just telling him what I told Peter, OK?

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Women aren't the sweet, pure, innocent creatures that they make out...

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Ian Beale!

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I'm going!

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I lost her, like I lost the stall.

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I'll put the kettle on.

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Dad.

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Everything OK?

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Not really, no. You know how things are between your mother and I.

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-We don't need your boyfriend making things worse.

-Christian?

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Unless there are more of them you haven't told us about.

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Dad, look, why? What's he done?

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Shouting our business... YOUR business in the street.

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This adoption is between you and him. Don't get us involved.

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-I'm sorry. I'll tell him.

-Actually, why bother?

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Whatever Syed wants, Syed gets, regardless of who gets trampled.

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-Get what I want? Me?! Is that what you think?

-It's what I know!

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As long as you two are happy, everyone else can go to hell.

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That's without admin fees and furniture... Two egg rolls, please.

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It's never easy starting out.

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We're fine.

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I've taken good care of the Argee Bhajee.

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How was your honeymoon?

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Magical, thanks.

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-Your shirt needs ironing.

-It's supposed to look like that.

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Zainab.

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-Afia, Tamwar, happy honeymoon?

-Magical, thanks.

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A hug for your father?

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A new marriage, a new start?

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All right, bruv.

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One of your rudeboys?

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No, it was...it was Darren.

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It's just that Max wants me at the car lot, otherwise he's not going to give him his time off.

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But what about his father's procedure?

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I mean, if Darren don't cover for him, he'll lose his job. It's time to put selfishness on one side, Arthur.

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Yeah, but I'm not in the mood.

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Not in the mood?! What would've happened if we'd said during the war?

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That job is exactly what you need.

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It'll get you out of Mrs Olubunmi's hair when she gets back.

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I mean, you're so good at that pit-patter, Arthur.

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I'll iron you a shirt.

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Jay saw me come in. I thought he might pop in.

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Darling, next time you see him, you will look a million dollars.

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Nothing will make you feel better than watching him kick himself. Promise.

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Want to buy a phone? Tenner to you.

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-That's mine!

-Oi, oi, missy! Oi!

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Oi! Oi!

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-Oh, hello again.

-Jay!

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Where's Syed?

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Syed!

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-OK, I borrowed his phone. He's not sick.

-How could you even let me think that?!

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Because I needed to get you through the door?

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-You're a sick man!

-Apparently.

-I don't have time for this.

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Oh, no, cos you've got all that family to take care of, haven't you?

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There's me thinking Shabnam was a thousand miles away...

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..and there's Tamwar...

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-all cosy on my sofa...

-He's a married man! It's his choice.

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..and then there's Masood, exiled to the B&B.

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Admit it, Zainab, without your family, you're nothing.

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You've got a nasty mouth, you know that?

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-Coming from your forked tongue, I'll take that as a compliment.

-How dare you?!

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Sorry, love!

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You're going nowhere.

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Right, she says you're her granddad. Are you?

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What are you doing here?!

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-Stealing Abi's phone, that's what she's doing!

-Oh, no, Tan,

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-you're mistaken.

-I was giving it back, not taking it.

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Right. It's only cos she's yours

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-that I'm not having her done for theft.

-Thanks.

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-Right, so are you her granddad?

-Yep.

-But that means we're family!

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Jay, d'you mind?!

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That could've been awkward. Is incest illegal?

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-Did you steal that phone?

-I borrowed it.

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Why aren't you at school?

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I rang in sick. Well, my social worker did. Sort of.

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-And what about the home?

-I rang them and all. Well, you did.

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That's why I borrowed the phone. Thought I'd suss this place out.

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And rob our neighbours blind?

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-I ain't a thief!

-Right, look, look, why don't you put the kettle on, eh?

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Me and your nan, here, we'll have a little chat.

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Oi, Pops!

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How else do you think I would find where you live?

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-Wait till Syed hears what you've done.

-I'm doing this FOR him.

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What, making me hate you even more?

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You really do, don't you?

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No, I don't hate anyone.

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It goes against everything that I believe in.

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-I do not hate gays.

-No, just this one.

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And your gay son, of course.

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I pity them.

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They will never know the joy of a normal family life.

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-CHRISTIAN LAUGHS

-What, like yours?!

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Cos that's funny, innit?

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Funny how gambling's a sin until it's your old man doing it.

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You pick and choose the bits of your faith that suit you best.

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My faith is about family,

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my faith is about forgiveness, but then how can you forgive someone

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who doesn't admit that they've sinned?

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And us adopting is one of those sins, is it?

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No, I have nothing against adoption.

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I think it is one of the most selfless acts possible.

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Then why won't you support us?

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Beca...

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I do not understand how...

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..how a loving and generous woman

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would stand in the way of something so good.

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Because it is wrong, all right? It is wrong!

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And it's got nothing to do with religion, or the law, or Allah,

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it is about nature!

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A man and a woman are supposed to make a baby.

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If you choose to be gay,

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then you choose to forego that right to have a child!

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Even if it denies that child a loving home, a family?

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It would be better off that way! It is sick, Christian! It is wrong!

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Do you know what, get out, all right?!

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-I've heard just about as much as I can stomach off you.

-Really?

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No. No. You wanted to hear me out, now you hear me out!

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If you won't even talk about it, what is the point?

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Here you are, look.

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Ta.

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Can I have a bit more sugar?

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You'll get a pot belly.

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-(She's trouble, Billy.)

-She's got spirit.

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Just like we used to have, before we got it drummed into us that we'd never amount to anything.

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But her, Lola, she's going to be different.

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Me, you and our little boy...

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it would've been brilliant.

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I got my second chance with William and Janet.

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Don't you see? Lola is OUR second chance.

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The best thing we can do for that kid is send her back to the home.

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CRASHING AND LOUD THUD

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Brilliant, nice one(!)

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OK, forget about homosexuality for a minute. Why don't we talk about you?

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You can't blame the world's sins on me, love!

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Oh, but you are hedonistic, selfish, rude. You and that banshee you run around with.

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You should've married her!

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Oh, what, cos Syed's some choirboy that I corrupted?

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He was a conman! He sold properties that didn't exist. He even tried to rip you two off.

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That's none of your business.

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-Think I was the first bloke he slept with?

-Shut up!

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He's just a good liar cos you taught him well.

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A devious, gay conman. Congratulations!

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Zainab Masood, mother of the year.

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Fine, you prove me right, then.

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You tell me what child deserves parents like you two?

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Well, at least we're still together, love.

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This little waif will arrive, and then you'll want to go out

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drinking and dancing and screeching with that girlfriend of yours.

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-What then, huh?

-You really think you've raised perfect kids, huh?

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You're tapped!

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Don't you lecture me on parenting.

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You don't even want a child, you just want an accessory.

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You want the next big thing, the one thing that you can't have.

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You think if Syed wasn't Muslim, you'd have been so desperate for him?

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You mean if you hadn't made him a suicidal mess just because he fell in love

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with a man?

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Your hypocrisy stinks!

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Religion does not make you a good parent,

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neither does being straight, white or having a degree. You just do your best, Zainab!

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Surely you understand that better than anyone.

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Sometimes...it isn't enough.

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What if we're really good at it, eh?

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What if being a family is the making of Sy,

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the making of both of us?

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You can't experiment with children's lives.

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If every parent had to prove they were capable,

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you know, no gambling,

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family rifts, affairs...

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And what if you two...don't change?

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Is that how little you think of your son?

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Zainab, I am not asking you to forget your faith.

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I'm just asking you to give Syed what you've always had.

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A chance to be your own person...

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..not your outcast son or my...

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..or my Muslim boyfriend.

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Just Sy.

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Surely he deserves that?

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What you said...

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That was unfair. You know the sacrifices I've made.

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For Christian, yeah. I hope he was worth it.

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No, for all of you.

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I didn't know he was going to talk to you. If he's have told me...

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You're about to become parents! You should be agreeing about...

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What, like you and Mum?

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Whatever mistakes your mother and I made,

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-we did the best we could for our children.

-You don't think

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-we're ready to be parents.

-It's not about being ready!

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-Two men never will be, right?

-Keep your voice down!

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Anyone would think you're ashamed!

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Dad!

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Of your gay son.

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Or maybe it's his big, gay boyfriend that really offends you?!

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-No, I am SICK of people ignoring me!

-Would you be quiet, Syed?!

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What is the matter with you?!

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Is that why you're doing this adoption, to get attention?

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Don't be ridiculous!

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You know, I thought it would be nice if I could just talk to you about this.

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Other people have children, their parents are excited,

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they can't wait to be grandmas, granddads.

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Yeah, well, I'm sure the two of you will cope.

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It's not the same though, is it?

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When Tam and Afia have your grandchild, it won't be the same.

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Because they'll have created it themselves! A man and a woman,

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a mother and a father.

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Look, you've chosen your path.

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-Oh, that again!

-Syed, what do you want me to say?

0:18:240:18:26

That it'll be all right!

0:18:260:18:28

That I'll be all right.

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That two men can bring up a child just as well as a man and a woman.

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I thought it was a done deal.

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Social services, the red tape...

0:18:550:18:57

No, not yet.

0:18:570:18:58

Me and Christian took Amy out yesterday.

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These kids started calling us queer, you know, the usual.

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-MASOOD SIGHS

-Syed...

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Who'd want to put a child through that?

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Not everyone's open-minded. Some people are just...

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Ignorant.

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It doesn't bother Christian.

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He just ploughs on.

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I've got all these questions,

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but he's just so sure we're doing the right thing, I just get caught up in it.

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He's so strong. I just don't know if I...

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Look...

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however much I don't like it,

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I know you've had to be brave.

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Accepting what you are, that's strength.

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I wish.

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You know, you saying I get what I want all the time...

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..it's not true.

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You know, sometimes...

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Sometimes I just keep the peace.

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Are you saying you're only going through this adoption process

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because it's what Christian wants?

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That's not what I said!

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He knows more about this gay-rights stuff than I do,

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it's like if he really believes it, the reality doesn't matter.

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There's me calling you brave

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when you only dance to the beat of Christian's drum!

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You and mum always say relationships are about compromise.

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Syed, you'd better decide what you want, before it's too late.

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-You haunting me?

-Do I look like a ghost?

0:21:110:21:13

-You on your way to court?

-What? Speak English, girl!

0:21:130:21:16

The tie!

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Well, if you must know, I'm a car salesman.

0:21:170:21:20

-Where?

-You ain't coming.

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I'm just walking. Since when was there a law against walking?

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Well, there's a law against STALKING, OK? So go home!

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I ain't got a home. Orphan, ain't I?

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I'm in care.

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So, do you think I look like Cheryl Cole?

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More like Ashley Cole.

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I knew you reminded me of someone! Perfect couple then, eh?

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They were divorced.

0:21:390:21:41

Doc, you're not going to believe this, but Zainab's on side!

0:21:470:21:50

-She said that?

-I know, it's surreal, isn't it?

0:21:500:21:53

Now all I need to do is marry a millionaire, then I can afford the deposit.

0:21:530:21:57

I suppose Masood's in no position to help, but maybe I can now Zainab's given her blessing.

0:21:570:22:02

Let me give you the deposit. Pay me back in instalments.

0:22:020:22:05

Why would you do that for us?

0:22:070:22:08

Aren't we all family now?

0:22:080:22:10

Doc, I could kiss you...

0:22:100:22:13

but I know you wouldn't appreciate it!

0:22:130:22:15

I'll tell the agent!

0:22:150:22:16

I can't wait to tell Sy!

0:22:160:22:18

I owe you!

0:22:180:22:20

-Right, well, I won't say I'll miss you.

-Cheers.

0:22:280:22:32

Oi! Lose the groupie, will you?

0:22:320:22:35

Make sure they're polished by the time I get back.

0:22:350:22:38

I could wash the cars. Fiver each.

0:22:410:22:44

Two pound.

0:22:440:22:46

2.50. Need sponges and that, though.

0:22:460:22:49

HE LAUGHS

0:22:490:22:51

Right, I won't beat around the bush. Syed and...

0:22:530:22:56

Syed's home...

0:22:590:23:01

will soon be too full for extra guests.

0:23:010:23:05

Wow. So you're OK with them adopting now? Why?

0:23:050:23:09

Even taking your mind-blowing 180 into account, how is this any of your business?

0:23:090:23:13

I think that you should come and live here.

0:23:150:23:17

And the stuff my auntie said about you and my dad?

0:23:170:23:20

A misunderstanding.

0:23:200:23:21

A hurtful untruth.

0:23:210:23:24

Cos if that is true, I wouldn't even have a cup of tea in your house, let alone move in.

0:23:240:23:28

-And I wouldn't blame you.

-We've got money in the bank, OK?

0:23:280:23:32

We've got thousands, actually,

0:23:320:23:34

and a sense of independence that's rarely seen among Generation Y.

0:23:340:23:38

What Tam means is...

0:23:380:23:40

we have options. A place of our own...

0:23:400:23:43

Which would be very expensive.

0:23:430:23:45

Or we could stay with Syed and Christian.

0:23:450:23:47

Syed will have two bedrooms, all right?

0:23:470:23:50

One for the child, and one for...

0:23:500:23:51

..your brother.

0:23:530:23:54

One plus one makes two, that means no room for you!

0:23:540:23:58

THEY SNIGGER

0:23:580:23:59

-Yes, yes, it rhymes. I thought you were the mathematical genius!

-No need to be mean.

0:23:590:24:03

Do you want a rent-free room or not? And you, madam, will have to curb that sharp tongue.

0:24:030:24:08

Now eat!

0:24:100:24:11

OK, all right.

0:24:110:24:14

He's got to talk to his wife. They've always got to talk to their wife.

0:24:180:24:21

Not me, though.

0:24:210:24:23

-I ain't got no wife to talk to, about nothing.

-And?

0:24:230:24:27

-Well, you know what? I think me and you make an all right team.

-Yeah?

0:24:270:24:31

Chuck us the keys then, so I can do inside.

0:24:310:24:33

I think I've finally found my vocation.

0:24:390:24:42

ENGINE REVS

0:24:420:24:43

Oi! What are you doing?!

0:24:430:24:47

Guess who has found us a new flat?

0:24:500:24:53

-Yeah, Janine's old place, two beds, great views...ish.

-How can we afford that?

0:24:530:24:58

Look, it's just details.

0:24:580:24:59

And, check this - I come to ask Tam and Afia to get out and they've already gone!

0:24:590:25:03

In your words, it seems like fate is finally on our side.

0:25:030:25:07

-Every single box, ticked.

-What, everything?

0:25:070:25:09

Yep, one almighty tick in the box marked mother-in-law. Chuck us that.

0:25:090:25:14

-She's going to see the social worker tomorrow.

-What?

0:25:140:25:17

Yeah! She's going to tell him what a wonderful couple we are

0:25:170:25:20

and how we have the support of the entire Masood clan.

0:25:200:25:24

-CHRISTIAN LAUGHS

-Pick your jaw up!

0:25:240:25:26

Well?

0:25:260:25:28

I've changed my mind.

0:25:280:25:29

I don't want to be a dad.

0:25:310:25:34

TYRES SQUEAL

0:25:380:25:39

What you doing?! I could get... Listen, seriously could you just...? Park the car here!

0:25:390:25:43

-Can you stop?! Seriously, do you want to kill us?!

-Aren't you having fun?

0:25:430:25:47

No, I'm not! Watch out, all right?

0:25:470:25:50

-Boring.

-You're going to kill us both!

0:25:500:25:52

Can you just stop?! Listen. Watch out, man!

0:25:520:25:56

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

0:25:560:25:57

TYRES SCREECH

0:25:570:25:58

Run! Run!

0:26:090:26:10

-You all right, Bill?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:26:130:26:15

-You?

-Yeah.

0:26:150:26:17

-I just changed my mind.

-Why?

0:26:240:26:26

-Why do you want to do it?

-Because I love you and I'm ready.

0:26:260:26:30

Sy, I want to be a father.

0:26:300:26:32

And what about what the child wants? What if it needs more than us?

0:26:320:26:37

What are you going on about?

0:26:370:26:38

I don't think we're enough.

0:26:380:26:40

It's because we're gay, isn't it?

0:26:440:26:46

You might be ready, but I'm not. I don't think I ever will be.

0:26:480:26:50

You know, your mum knows you better than you think.

0:26:520:26:55

-You want this more than you want me?

-You sound like a spoiled child.

0:26:550:26:58

Because if you do, then maybe we can't be together.

0:26:580:27:01

I'm sorry, I'm...

0:27:030:27:04

I'm just trying to be honest.

0:27:050:27:07

No, you're right.

0:27:070:27:09

You're right.

0:27:120:27:13

Because I am doing this, even if it's on my own.

0:27:130:27:19

-Are you serious?

-Zainab's right.

0:27:190:27:22

You're fickle

0:27:220:27:25

and you're selfish.

0:27:250:27:27

You change your mind like most normal people change TV channels.

0:27:270:27:30

She knows you better than I do. Better than I did.

0:27:300:27:34

-You know me better than anyone.

-You should go.

0:27:340:27:37

-No.

-Go on, Sy. Just get out.

0:27:370:27:39

Just get out!

0:27:410:27:43

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0:28:100:28:13

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