25/07/2011 EastEnders

HORN HONKS

Morning, Albert Square. Say hello to Moon and Sons!

-Can I have some money?

-What for?

-It's the first day of the holidays.

Lola, that is why I got you the trial at the caff, so I didn't have to keep doing this.

-Why don't you go in there and sort things out with Shirley, eh?

-Long. What is...?

Oi, that is all I've got, all right?

-If you don't give me any more, that is abuse.

-That is nicely played.

-Jog on, old lady.

-Oh, have we got a lively one? Aw.

-Ta.

-All right, what's all this, then?

-This, Roxy, is my entire universe.

Yes, a life's work. A family legacy.

-Moon and Sons. Now in Walford.

-All right, so what is it?

Antique emporium.

Quality second-hand goods.

-Where are you going to be, then?

-Yeah, Edward. Where are we going to be?

Well, we haven't got a premises as yet but it's in hand.

-Yeah? Well, leave it here and you'll have a ticket in 20 minutes.

-Yeah? Let 'em try.

-Right, Tyler, got a few more trips to make, so let's get this unloaded.

-Where?

In the gardens, till we move it to the shop.

-Oh, what, the shop that don't exist?

-Yeah, well... And get all the stuff out the barrel store, too.

Eddie.

-Yes, Jeanie, love?

-There's a phone call for you.

-Yeah, well, thank you.

So, have you got any plans today?

-Not really.

-See you at the Tube. 12.30.

-Max.

-Wear the shoes.

Eddie Moon. Hello, mate.

Ready to go in half an hour.

When I take my jacket off. It's fine. Don't stress about it.

When I take my jacket off.

Yeah...

Right, got to go. Bye, mate.

-Jeanie, you done something to your hair?

-No.

-Looks gorgeous.

Setting up shop?

Aren't you ashamed of what you did to Ronnie?

-Got a nice elephant out there on the truck.

-You're not, are you?

-Worth a few bob, I should imagine?

-Maybe.

Got a place yet?

It's in hand.

Hey, careful with that. Phone.

-Ready?

-Yep.

-Oh, come on, we don't look that alike.

-Put it on. Liam, you want to watch our stuff for us?

-Yeah.

-Good boy.

-There.

-Thanks.

-Don't tell your grandma, though. 20 minutes.

Right, come on, son.

-Rahul's sick, so we need to get someone else to cover lunch.

-Fine.

Not Shabir. He's sleazy.

-He's a nice guy.

-He's a perv, Tam.

Right, I'm going to have a shower. See you there.

What are you doing? Who's that?

Shall we see who it is?

-Having fun?

-Yes, we are. Aren't we, Kamil?

What's that other one from the bank?

Nothing to worry about.

-How are you, Dad?

-Yeah, I'm all right.

Bye, Kamil.

Dad. Have you got a few hours spare?

Babe, it's a great deal. Got to buy the cars if I want to sell them.

You can't get Fat Boy to do it?

Nice kid but he's a moron. You'll be all right?

-Yeah. Fine, Max.

-See you tomorrow.

Oh, can you get some kitchen roll?

Yep, kitchen roll. Got it.

-Answer's no.

-I wasn't even going to ask...

-Lauren, please. Stay away from me.

Oi.

-Sort me out?

-Yeah. Obviously.

-Here's 50.

-All right, Rox?

-Good boy.

-Right, that's it.

-Why? What's up?

No dealing here,

you know that. I'm sorry. You're gone.

Eye on this. Back in two seconds.

-Oi. What you up to?

-Doing a bit of running before training.

-Do you need someone on the bag?

-Are you serious?

You might get to punch me in the face. Can't be bad!

BANGING

-How you feeling, darling?

-About what?

About... You know...

-What?

-About Jay.

Fine.

BANGING

Darling, darling. Oscar, just a little bit quiet, that's it. Thank you.

-Are you sure, babe?

-Yeah, I'm glad we broke up.

-Right, OK. I'm just asking.

-Yeah, well, don't.

-OK.

Mum, have you seen my gym kit?

-Oh, you want to talk to me now.

-Mum!

I don't know, darling. Must be in your bottom drawer like usual.

-DOOR SLAMS

-Hello?

-You all right?

-Leave it.

-Great. Both of you, then.

-Shut up, Mum!

-Fine.

Right. Well, I'll be upstairs getting changed if anyone else wants to shout at me, all right?

Shut up, Mum!

-You're sure you all right?

-Mum!

-All right.

-Just finishing up?

-Eh?

This is mine.

-Nice one.

-Did the council not call you?

Bloke called Ron?

Typical. Said you'd be out today.

Why would I be doing that?

Said you were squatting.

-Well, I ain't.

-He took a deposit from me.

I was in the office, got a lease.

Stamp on it and everything.

Locksmith'll be here in a minute.

I got my truck round the back...

all the gear.

It's in here somewhere.

Anyway...

-Anyway.

-Fair's fair, mate.

This place is mine.

I don't see a council bloke and I don't see a locksmith. You're out of luck, sunshine.

After some locks changed?

-Yeah, this one.

-Hang on. You ain't touching that lock.

-Change it.

-Don't do it.

-Fellas, can we sort this out? I got a job up Mile End.

-Off you go, then.

-No!

Look, the council sent him.

Now, I've got a lease - can we just get this done?

-I don't want to have to call the council bloke.

-No. Call him.

-I will.

-Go on, then. What's his name?

-Ron.

-Ron. Give him a ring. I'd like a word.

-Fine.

-Just the clipboard, please.

-£2.90, please.

-I thought I might try some gum, Helen.

-Oh, sorry, I pushed in.

-Shouldn't eat that sugar-free stuff, you know.

Aspartame.

The sweetener. Gives you cancer.

Really?

But all that sugar. I like to look after my figure.

-Looks pretty sharp from where I'm standing.

-Ron.

-That's right.

You're a bit young to be a Ron, aren't you?

Am I?

Well, you ARE, aren't you? So, obviously, you're not.

Yeah. Yeah.

Better play safe.

Very sharp.

-That's an eight.

-The book said six.

-They changed it to an eight.

-You've got to tell me these things.

-What do you think I'm doing?

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Afia asked me to help out in the kitchen.

What are YOU doing here?

-You said, "Find someone."

-One of our staff.

-He knows the place better than any of them.

-Hi. Just want me front of house?

Perfect.

You don't have to hold back, you know. I can handle myself.

That's it. Better. Better.

DOORBELL RINGS

-When are you going to fight, anyway?

-Soon as my licence comes through.

Hi.

All right.

-I thought I'd help you train.

-How did you...

Saw you running across the square. That's a warm-up, right?

Yeah, but...

didn't we break up?

Ready to go?

No sign of him.

-Busy man.

-Lads, I've got to head off.

-Off you go, then.

-No. Stay there.

-It's going on the bill.

-Fine.

-Tell you what - you disappear now and I'll forget you ever tried to pull this off.

-Pull what off?

We'll wait for your council bloke, then.

Eddie Moon?

-Ron. How are you, mate?

-I thought we arranged this in the office.

Well, I lost the lease.

There's your copy there.

-And you must be the current occupier?

-Yeah.

Ron. Ron Corbett.

Borough of Walford. You haven't got a lease, have you?

It's never been a problem.

-I got rights, yeah?

-Rights?

-Squatter's.

You can't occupy council-owned commercial premises without our prior consent.

By remaining on these premises, you are acting unlawfully

and if you fail to vacate immediately, you will be evicted and forcibly removed

-under the Landlord & Tenants Act.

-Go on, then. Evict me.

Next step's calling the police to move you on. I assume all your stock is legitimate?

-Locksmith?

-Yes, mate.

-Got a new one?

Go ahead.

-OK?

-Fine.

I can do it softer.

Weren't we doing it harder before?

-We weren't.

-Yeah, I think we was.

-Again?

-You sure?

Abi. Push back. You're doing it like a girl. Come on.

Harder!

Ow!

-You all right?

-Yeah...yeah.

-You need stronger wrists.

-Shut up, Lola. Sure you're all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. This was a stupid idea. I should go.

-Abs...

-Just put some ice on it.

She needs to toughen up. You should go around with someone what knows what they're doing.

I think I'll manage.

Thanks for your help, though.

Whatever.

Oi. What are you doing here?

-Bottling up.

-I fired you.

And I un-fired him.

Phil, he was dealing.

-Outside.

-Outside MY club, working for ME.

OK, now, he knows the rules. The last thing you need, Phil, is a dealer hanging around.

Does he turn up on time and work hard?

Yes.

Then he's better than pretty much anybody round here.

Give the geezer a break, will you?

-Don't look a day over 35, Mrs Sheth. Enjoy.

-Thank you.

-I'll bring the cake out after the mains.

-Thank you.

Would you mind folding these for the tables, please?

-I've still got some tables to seat.

-We can manage that.

Sure.

You're on front of house.

What about Dad?

Oh, he's doing napkins.

-We're busy, Afia.

-It's our restaurant.

I want it to be us that people see when they come in.

What's the difference?

You know it's not easy for me having him in here.

Starters for table three are ready to come out.

Thank you. D'you want another one?

No, thanks.

-How you feeling?

-I'm fine.

Haven't see Max around, have you?

Try the gym. Jack's there maybe.

-Ever get the feeling things are just getting a little out of your control?

-No. Never.

Dunno why you bother.

Because if it's too slick they think it's a scam.

Let them think they're on top, then, when their guard's down,

whip the rug out. They'll believe anything.

Too complicated.

Look, we got a shop out of it, didn't we?

That is true. That is true.

Ronnie Corbett!

Didn't think I needed a surname but it helped, didn't it?

-Was it all right?

-Course it was.

-Cos he's a real person.

-Is he?

-Should have picked a fake name,

-shouldn't I?

-Mate, you smashed it. Didn't he, Dad?

-You should have picked a fake name.

-See, I told you.

This is Jeanie. Victoria to my Albert.

She's helping me run the place while the landlords are away.

All right, Jeanie? Anthony.

You see, I knew you were too young to be a Ron.

Can you forgive me?

-Anthony's my son.

-Works for the council.

-No, I don't.

No, he don't. But he's smart enough for it, though.

Me and the boys are setting up Moon and Sons.

-Antique emporium.

-Junk shop.

Down at the arch near the war memorial.

You pop in, we'll give you a discount.

And now I'm getting the beers in.

-Oi, hang on. We've got some stock to move out.

-Come on, have one. To celebrate.

One.

-Lend me 20 quid?

-No, no, no, I'll get these in.

-Champion.

So, what'll it be, Anthony?

Ronnie...

Think you're funny, don't you?

-I'll have two lagers and a lemonade for the old fella, please.

-Oi!

-Michael.

-Anthony.

Still no goal-line technology, eh?

You know, after the Lampard thing you'd thought they'd at least considered it.

But still letting silly mistakes like that ruin a game.

Best not say it too loud. We don't want Dad kicking off again, do we?

You and me don't want to go back there.

What you talking about?

About four or five years ago?

Watching us beat Spurs 2-1 at the house.

That big argument about goal-line technology, replays and stuff.

Dad hates the whole idea.

Purist.

It was me. Me and you against him all through dinner. D'you remember?

-Sorry mate, I don't.

-Benayoun got the winner. Fletcher got the other one.

No. Sorry, I don't.

-JEAN:

-Two lagers. And...

a lemonade.

Cheers.

-RAINIE:

-All right, Philip?

Back on it, are we?

Like you care.

Yeah, you're right.

I don't.

Trace.

-Mate, can you get us a drink?

-Sorry, I've got no money.

-I'm only asking for one...

-Can turn me hand to most stuff - odd jobs, you name it.

-Bear you in mind.

Cheers, Eddie. I appreciate that.

He's kidding, right?

-No, don't think so.

-Yeah, but we've already got one idiot.

All right, all right.

Here we are.

-Moon and Sons.

-Moon and Sons.

Good to have my boys here.

Cheers.

Congratulations.

Cheers.

Thing to do when you lose control?

Get it back.

Weirdo.

-Where you going?

-Going to get the truck, get the stuff moved in.

Your bag's upstairs - go and change.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.

All right?

How'd you like to buy me a drink?

-What are you doing?

-Keeping an eye on this stuff.

How is that fun?

-It's not, really.

-So what's the point?

Oi, follow me.

-What are you doing?

-Following you.

Well, don't. You're like a little puppy.

Come on, then.

Come on.

Good week.

Nice one.

You know Rainie? Her sister?

No more for her, yeah?

Tanya.

Might want to stick your head in the Vic.

Handsome boy like you. You don't want to be mucking about with stupid young girls.

Yeah. All right, love.

'Allo 'allo, there she is!

Take note of that sour face, boys.

Not enough she's turned her young girls into moaning little cows,

-she's got to spread the love around, ain't you?

-Settle down!

Sorry, love.

You know what?

I think I like this more than customers. It's meditative.

Spiritual, even.

These aren't folded right.

-That'll do fine.

-Look.

-Is there a problem?

-Yeah. You've folded them wrong.

-That's the way we've always done it.

-It's not how we do it now.

-I'm sorry, you didn't tell me.

-We'll have to re-fold them then, won't we?

-It's OK.

-No.

-He's made a mistake, he should fix it.

-I'm happy to.

-It's fine.

-It's not.

-For goodness' sake, girl.

Will you just be quiet and listen?

If Tam says that it's fine, it should be good enough for you.

It's OK.

Afia.

It's fine.

Driving test postponed. This day just keeps getting better and better.

I'm presuming it's boy trouble.

Anyone I know?

You know, as you get older, relationships they sort of...

-They get more complicated.

-Are you talking about sex?

I suppose so.

Then why don't you just say it?

I can handle it. I was in a relationship with Edward, remember?

Right. Yeah.

So, I mean, you know to be careful...?

Yes, Mum, we used condoms!

-Do you want more detail?

-No, that's more than enough.

If anyone needs a lecture in relationships...

-Yep. All right.

-On the pill without telling my husband,

a quick affair with my ex... And is that a stack of doctor's reminders I've seen on the side?

-All right, I've been busy, haven't I? I've been busy.

-Lame.

Hm. Yeah, you're right. I've been slack. I'll make an appointment.

DOORBELL RINGS

< I'll get it!

-Put them on your wrist. It'll stop the swelling.

-I don't want to know that.

Cos it'll hurt otherwise, won't it?

No. I don't want to know what you've got to do when someone punches you.

I hate boxing. I think it's violent and pointless and horrible and I hate it.

-It's actually quite graceful, you know.

-Let me finish.

It's bad enough that you do it

but if you want your girlfriend to help you and do training with you

and get punched, then...

-Abs...

-Let me finish!

If that's what you want your girlfriend to be, then I'm not it.

I've tried and obviously I'm not ready for it and whatever else you want to do.

-Can I talk now?

-Yeah.

All I want my girlfriend to be...

..is you.

DOOR SLAMS

Didn't take long.

Well, you know, I got halfway there and suddenly thought,

I'd rather be here with you.

Sorry, I forgot the kitchen roll, babe.

It's fine.

Fancy a takeaway?

Yeah. OK.

I'll get the menus.

-What?

-Nothing.

What?

-Ooh!

-Shut up!

Oscar? I'll time you to go get my slippers from upstairs, yeah?

See if you can break the record. Ready...steady...go!

Go on, quick, go!

-OK. Nicely done.

-Thank you.

-Are you happy?

-Mum!

Just asking.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

So what's for dinner?

My famous vegetable curry.

-Fire! Our stock's on fire! Jeanie, where's the extinguisher!

-Kitchen, kitchen!

Call the fire brigade!

-Out the way! Get out the way!

-Sorry, mate.

Get back! Get back!

Get back! >

Get back!

GLASS BREAKS, CROWD SHOUTS

-They're on their way, Eddie.

-Dad, what you doing?!

Jay, don't be stupid! Get back, get back!

That ain't going to work, is it?

-Dad, get out, get out!

-What went up?

-Turps.

That's everything, boys.

SIRENS APPROACH

Masood.

For three hours.

-Oh, no. You hang onto that.

-What?

It's only going to go on the mortgage anyway.

-Did you get paid?

-Your mother and I sorted that, yeah.

-Good. I'll see you later, then.

-Yeah.

Dad?

Nah, gone.

-Back in a minute.

-Where you going?

What happened, mate?

I'm sorry.

-Don't worry, all right? It's not your fault. Still mates, yeah?

-Yeah.

See you later.

Tough day.

I know it was you.

You need to be careful what you accuse people of.

I know it was you.

And you're going to pay.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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