02/08/2011 EastEnders

Come here, you.

Darling... Not now, babe.

Nothing changes does it?

-Nothing.

-I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry. Come here you.

-D'you have to?

You'll put me off my cornflakes.

TV PLAYS

It must look like a right state.

-Carol, you look beautiful.

-Bit early for visitors, innit?

Oh, I get it! Life in the old dog yet.

-I meant him, not you, Carol.

-Ms Jackson to you.

Ant! Come here!

-Gotta go.

-Look who stayed last night?

And he didn't even make her breakfast.

-No idea how to treat a woman.

-Least I've got one.

-Another one!

-He's not keeping this one a secret is he.

I'm a one woman man, boys.

Serious then is it, with Carol?

Ty, can you hear that?

THEY SING "HERE COMES THE BRIDE"

Yeah, yeah, very funny. You two could be bridesmaids.

Right, now shift yourselves.

Get all Kat's furniture back to the Vic.

Go on...

Move it!

You are the weakest link, goodbye.

You still haven't asked your sister and her to leave yet, have you?

I will do it today, all right. I just... I promise.

I haven't found the right moment.

Why don't we all meet up for a drink at lunchtime?

No, Tan and me got plans of our own.

-We need some time together.

-Fine. I'll go on me own.

Your sister's doing nothing. Get her to cover for you. Kiss.

-Everything all right with you two?

-Why wouldn't it be?

-I'm only asking.

Pretend I'm not here if it makes you feel better.

Oh, hang on, you already do.

Shift yourself... you've got a new job.

I mean, Janine Butcher!

-I know, I know, all right. It was a moment of madness.

-You hate her! Ronnie hates her!

-Have you forgotten how she splattered Danielle all over the road?

-No, I haven't.

So you sell her the club that you and your sister built up together. Nice one, Rox, that's really smart!

You know what, Phil, you're always banging on about family

but all you're interested in is getting your own way. You're a bully, Phil.

And I sold Janine the club because I am sick of you pushing me around.

Yeah, that's right, have a tantrum. That's really gonna help.

I'll go and see her. I'll get it sorted, yeah?

Nah, you've done enough.

-Janine's my problem now.

-Fine.

Fine, suit yourself!

-Checking up on me again?

-No, course not!

Look, the social worker's happy, stop stressing. Or is it you just don't trust me any more?

-We do, don't we, Julie?

-Yeah.

Oi! You ain't paid for those coffees yet.

-This is a Mitchell gaff. I don't have to pay, do I?

-So, that goes for him an' all, right?

Who Billy? Nah, he's the exception.

Ain't gonna cry, are you Bill?

-See you at home.

-What's up with you?

Pulling a face like that, you'll curdle the punters' milk.

D'you know what, I'm beginning to see the family resemblance.

Why d'you let him talk to you like that for?

Yes, Phil, no, Phil, three bags full, Phil. It's pathetic.

You know nothing.

I know a doormat when I see one.

CHATTER

-Tell you what, Rain, I'm gonna nip in here. I'll meet you there. Jodie'll open up.

-All right.

Morning.

I can't meet you this lunchtime.

Why not?

I just can't.

Tan, what's happened?

Frank... Frank...

Hi, partner.

Just making myself at home.

And I thought it might be quite nice for us to have an office pet.

Phil, meet Frank.

Hello. Hello.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Isn't that amazing? He learns so fast!

Seems you get what you pay for... even with parrots.

You wanna wind me up, you'll have to try harder than that.

Not staying? That's a shame.

Frank say, "bye-bye, Phil".

You pilchard.

JANINE LAUGHS

Make sure you're gone by the end of the day.

Then I won't have to break your legs.

Sweetheart, you don't mind me asking do you, but were you at the wedding?

-What wedding?

-You know, Greg and Tanya's?

-Oh, yeah, that.

-So how are the happy couple?

-Love's young dream. Same again.

What the lady wants, the lady gets.

-Long time since anyone's called me a lady.

-Listen, do you wanna look at the lunch menu?

Liquid lunch'll do me.

Here, Paddy, have a break, mate.

-This one's on me.

-Thank you brother.

Can I join you?

Ooh! Now you're talking!

-Bealey! All right, mate? Usual?

-Yeah, please. So, she with you all summer is she, Shenice?

Yeah, yeah. She's out with Kat and Tommy for the day, which means I'm all on my lonesome.

'Ere...fancy a game of darts? Paddy, you up for a game of darts, mate, come on?

-Yeah man.

-Count me in. I taught Phil Taylor everything he knows.

-Worried about the competition?

-Not at all, lady! Not at all.

-I'd love to, but I'm meeting a friend.

-A friend?

-Yeah.

-Oh, right.

Only problem is, I told her a little white lie.

What kind of little white lie?

Seriously, she's got a parrot in there?!

Yeah.

Someone might have to leave the window open.

PHONE RINGS

Looks like I ain't the only one with unwanted female company.

-Lola's all right.

-Bet Abi don't think so.

-Me and Abi are solid.

-Yeah. For now.

How you gonna get rid of Janine, then?

She ain't stupid is she, she knows better than to mess about with me.

Besides, running a night club ain't easy.

I don't care if you're on your deathbed, you're the second barmaid to cancel on me today.

Did Phil put you up to this?

Look, whatever. Even when you're recovered don't bother coming back in because you're fired!

You donut!

You'd never know she's Tanya's sister. Different colouring.

-I was gonna say that. Totally different colouring.

-Tanya's the prettier one.

Yeah. Like Kylie and Dannii. Although, Dannii's got a great look, in her own way.

She could have a great look, if she made a bit more of an effort.

She so could. Like Dannii had to when Cheryl joined the X Factor.

PHONE RINGS

SHE MOUTHS

Are you back, babe? I've missed you so much, babe! How was it?

How are Keith's bunions?! I can't wait to see you!

-Right. Everything all right?

-Yeah. They always like that?

-Yeah, pretty much. You haven't touched that, have you?

-No.

-But if you show me what you need doing I can make myself useful.

-No no, you're all right.

-You just carry on, read your book.

-It's not a book, it's the Bible.

-Yeah, whatever.

Right, thanks very much. We'll see you again on the 15th. Lovely. Bye.

I should probably go, Greg's waiting for me.

Mind you, it's probably a bit busy here for me to leave. Shall I...?

-Take as long as you like, me and Jode can manage.

-Great.

-Grab yourself a seat. I'll bring the drinks over. What do you want?

-Orange and lemonade.

Listen, can I just say at the risk of...

All right, sweetheart? At the risk of sounding like a scratched record, I think you're making a big mistake.

D'you know what, Alfie, I would have thought you'd be a bit more supportive

considering the amount of porkies you've told.

Yeah, but I never claimed that me estranged wife was dead just so I could get my leg over!

Neither have I! She just assumed and I haven't corrected her. OK?

So can I have an orange juice and lemonade, and a bottle?

Yeah sure, coming up. Slightly deaf.

Before you start, I have tried to stop the transfer but the money's already gone through, OK.

-I'm sorry, it's out of my hands.

-I didn't come here to have another go.

So why are you here?

You had a good point yesterday, you played a good game, beat me fair and square.

I just wanted you to know that I've taken care of Janine, so...

don't want you to worry about it.

Was starting to think you were dead.

Just came to say give it a rest with the phone calls, all right.

-Abi's orders?

-No, she ain't the boss of me.

-Whatever you say.

-Think what you like.

Look, I was wondering, do you wanna go out tonight? Not just us, Abi an' all.

-Me an' Abs are a bit skint at the minute.

-Don't worry.

-It's on me.

-Where d'you get all that from?

-Where d'you think?

No-one notices getting a bit less change.

So you ain't just been stealing off customers, you been stealing off Phil an' all.

He don't give a monkeys about me or Billy, treats us like second class Mitchells, and you know it.

Full of surprises aren't you, Cora?

Beginner's luck, man!

All in the wrist boys, all in the wrist.

Honestly, three kids! I'd never have guessed.

-You don't look old enough.

-Thanks.

Have you got any?

-Need to find a man first!

-Course.

You've met Bobby, obviously.

These are the twins.

Do you have any of the kids with Jane?

No, no, I don't.

Sorry, I shouldn't have asked.

It's just, you haven't mentioned her since yesterday.

Yeah, I know.

-Listen, what I said yesterday...

-You don't need to explain.

It must have been so difficult, even to mention it to a virtual stranger.

I'm touched you felt you could confide in me.

I wish I could have met Jane.

I should be getting back to the summer club.

I'll see you around.

Listen, would you, would you like to meet her... Jane?

This is nice, isn't it?

Yeah.

-Don't forget, Mike from work's having his stag do tonight, so I might be home a bit late.

-OK.

You asked your mum and Rainie to leave yet?

Well, actually...

I said they could stay a bit longer.

Look, she'll soon get bored and want her own space.

And Rainie's just... still fragile, you know.

So that's it, decision made... what I want don't matter?

Of course it does yeah, but Mum was begging me. It's not forever.

And what about when they do go, how long's it gonna be before they're back again?

They treat this place like a hotel, pitching up whenever they fancy.

Darling, just cos they're here, it doesn't mean we can't have time to ourselves like this.

Yeah, the odd lunch together. That's really romantic.

It could be.

I mean,

I don't have to rush back to work. Do you?

No.

I know it was a ten pound note cos I thought

I'd never have enough for two soups and a sarnie with five.

So I asked Jode for extra, and we swapped our two fives for a ten out the salon till so.

-No, you've got it wrong.

-I really don't think that I.

-You calling a member of my staff a liar?

-Um...

-I think you'd have trouble writing your own name, let alone remembering what's in your purse.

Now if she said it was a fiver, it was a fiver.

Right, turn out your pockets.

-What?

-Don't make me tell you again. Come on.

-What? That's all mine.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Go on, out, out!

-What?

You heard me, out! Sling your hook, go on.

Stick your job.

I will.

I'm sure the boys brought one in with this lot.

-It's a lovely piece.

-I don't care how lovely it is, all right.

Actually, I do. It can't look too cheap, that would reflect badly on me.

-There was one here, wasn't there?

-Can't remember.

-There was.

The old lady got all teary about it.

Ah, here we are!

Fantastic. How much do you want for that?

Well, that is a question, isn't it?

Come on Eddie, please. I'm in a rush!

I couldn't let it go for less than two.

Two quid? That is blinding!

-Two hundred!

-What?

With craftsmanship like that, it's probably worth a bit more, but as it's you...

-No, there is no way I'm paying that much.

-All right.

-I'm sure we'll get another one in a week or two.

-All right, tell you what...

-I'll give you a ton for it.

-Hundred and fifty and we've got a deal.

Here you go... Hold on, it's empty!

People don't tend to give 'em away when there's ashes inside.

S'pose not.

You've either got it or you ain't.

What's that still doing here?

We took back everything else.

-We need this, for bird-spotting!

-Ain't done you much good so far.

-Oi. Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?

-What you going on about?

Don't worry. I ain't gonna be calling you any more.

Let me.

-You're amazing, you know that?

-Amazing. That's me.

Know what that just reminded me of?

How it was when we first got together.

All over each other every chance we got,

just like a couple of teenagers.

'Cept now, it just...

It felt even better.

Hey.

It ain't been easy, these last few months, has it?

But I've never stopped loving you, Tan.

Me too.

Dad's right. Half a day gone and not a number between us.

That, mate, is epic fail.

You know your problem, bruv? You give up too easy.

-There you go.

-Thanks, Jode.

You know what makes it worse?

I rang Julian to tell him, but he said he couldn't talk cos he was with a client.

And I said I talk to him when I'm with clients and he said that's different.

-But I don't see how that's different, do you?

-No I don't see how it's different.

-What's he do?

-He works at an investment bank.

I hate to say it, Pops, but I don't think he's committed to you.

It's like he's not committed to me.

All right?

Which one of you ladies reckons you can handle my ample needs?

We're both fully-trained beauty therapists.

Jode's got an extra certificate as an advanced nail technician,

which means I can only do your standard mani, peds, including French...

-French sounds interesting...

-But she's not qualified for extras...

-..like acrylics.

-So, what was it you wanted?

Something to keep this body looking buff.

Well, an all over exfoliation will leave your skin very smooth and silky.

You'll need a shower beforehand, though.

Not a problem.

Upstairs, is it?

Maybe you should take this one, Jode.

You so fancy him.

No!

He is totally not my type!

Well, he fancies you. It's so obvious.

-He was quite flirty.

-What should I do?

-Ask him out for a drink.

-Him?!

-I couldn't!

-Might shake it up a bit with this Julian bloke...

-make him realise if he don't want you there's plenty out there that do.

-She's right, Pops.

It's like it says in The Rules - you should never appear too available.

Might be time to give him a chance?

Me and Darren will come with, be like a double date.

Got a towel? Don't worry, I ain't gonna bite ya.

Not unless you ask me to.

She wants to know if you're free tonight.

It really is a beautiful urn.

Nothing but the best for my Jane.

Bobby did the lettering.

And you keep her here?

Yeah.

It makes me feel safe knowing that she's close.

That's not weird, is it?

No, I think it's lovely.

You're the first person I've spoke to

about losing Jane, and I just want you to know how grateful I am. Jane...

I think she'd be grateful too.

She always said she didn't like the thought of me sitting alone and brooding.

Well, maybe we can meet up again some time?

Yeah, I'd like that.

Rainie, I told you not to touch anything!

I was just putting an appointment calendarin the bit and it froze.

-It's not my fault.

-It never is.

-You were meant to be watching her!

-Sorry. We got distracted.

-I had the worst day.

-She has.

And now I've got a date. So we've just been working out what I should wear...

Spare me the details. You being here, it's not gonna work.

You know what, I didn't wanna be here in the first place!

You should've been here instead of running around with lover-boy...

-Me taking a break has got nothing to do with you being an idiot! Get out.

-I will.

Know what, it's boring in here anyway.

DOORBELL RINGS

You said not to ring, so I thought I'd come round in person.

I booked a nice restaurant.

Why?

As part of the surprise.

I'm not even dressed right.

Besides, I hate poncey restaurants.

-Flowers?

-What do you think?

I'll let you into a secret.

I don't like all that stuff either.

Well, at least we agree on something.

DOORBELL RINGS

< Plan B?

Right, I'll get 'em in. Jode, Dazza?

-I told you not to call me that. It's all right, I'll get mine and Jodie's.

-Suit yourself.

Let me see if I can guess what you want.

Between The Sheets?

-I'm kidding. Vodka and cranberry, right?

-How did you know?

I make it my business to know these things.

I thought you said it was gonna be just us. I haven't seen you for weeks.

I'm sorry babe.

Poppy needs us. She was so nervous around him at the salon earlier.

You should have seen him, chest all pumped up and sweaty.

It was horrible.

Ant! Come join us?

-Nah, you're all right.

-Come on, more the merrier.

-You've met Poppy, Jodie and Dazza.

-It's Darren!

What's that wailing?

This is their idea of music, Cora.

Children nowadays, they don't have any taste at all.

-I mean, give me Marvin Gaye or Ray Charles any time.

-Yes!

Now there's a singer!

# Hard-hearted Hannah The vamp of Savannah... #

Go on, Cora!

# The meanest gal in town!

# Leather is tough But Hannah's heart is tougher

# She's the girl who likes to see men suffer... #

THEY CHEER

Woah!

-I think you've had enough. It's time to get home.

-Killjoy!

I only did it so we could get something nice for tea.

-He wasn't gonna give us a freebie, was he?

-We know, Lo. But you didn't have to.

Hang on a minute. We've just spent all day trying to get this tenancy agreement

to try and make it legit, and she rewards us by stealing. Aren't you bothered?

-That's a bit rich innit, coming from you.

-She's lied to us!

If she lied to us about that, what other stuff has she lied to us about?

-Stuff? What stuff, eh? Like the fire?

-Yeah, like that.

-I knew it.

-Calm down.

-Just leave me alone!

She swore to us that she didn't do that, and I believe her. I thought you did too.

How many more mistakes is she gonna have to make Billy, before you see her for what she really is?

What she really is, is our granddaughter, our flesh and blood!

Ain't it about time you started treating her that way?

So, Tyler, what are your ambitions?

Live the joy, spread the joy.

-Preferably whilst getting wasted.

-Surprise surprise.

When I find the right girl, that's when I get ambitious.

Putting in the graft so she wants for nothing. That's what it's about.

That was clearance. That gear's pretty good, Dad's not here either, we'd better...

Seems I'm needed elsewhere.

Another time, beautiful? Jode, Dazza.

Needed elsewhere? He's not a superhero. He works in a junk yard.

I know. It's horrible. So dirty.

You had a lucky escape, Pops. You all right?

Patrick didn't look happy. What were you doing?

Trying to liven the place up.

We got anything stronger?

Tanya's hidden away all the booze ain't she.

Treats us both like kids. Like today right, at the salon...

I make one tiny mistake and she shouts at me like I'm some naughty schoolgirl. And just sends me home.

-She did what?

-I'm surprised she didn't even give me detention!

I mean, she wants to be miserable all the time, that's up to her, but why drag the rest of us down?

You know Tanya...

it's all about her.

Well, I've got my own stuff to deal with...real stuff!

I don't need her making it even worse.

Keep this coffee coming.

That girl needs someone to give her a good talking to.

Oi. Didn't you hear me this morning?

Sorry, did you think that I'd be scared?

Sticks and stones, Phil!

Besides, running this place has been quite a doddle since I hired the temporary bar staff,

and I got a nice little IT expert to access those computer files.

It seems all your suppliers aren't entirely legitimate.

But don't worry,

my lips are sealed.

Now, how would you like to see my new marketing strategy.

Got inspiration from our very own local!

We've got to move with the times, Phil.

The East End dive bar vibe is so ten years ago.

People want less Guy Ritchie, and more Glee club.

What d'you want, eh?

Whatever you gave Roxy... I'll top it.

That's very generous of you,

but I'm not selling. If you would like to sell your shares however, then...

What's this about, eh?

First this place, then I'm coming for the Vic.

-You think you've got what it takes to go up against me?

-I know I have.

And I'm going to prove it to you.

You want a war, you got one.

This could have waited till the morning.

You just wanted to scupper my big date, didn't ya?

-You can't actually tell me you were having fun with that Poppy bird?

-Yeah.

You'd get more spark out of that old toaster!

Yes, but Poppy comes with a much better rack!

Fair point. Where d'you reckon Dad's taken Carol then?

Usual. Fancy restaurant, posh wine.

Tell you what, though, bet it takes more than that to put a smile on cranky Carol's mush.

She's frostier than the North Pole.

I'm so sorry.

-Working late again?

-What's it to you?

-I'm your mother.

You haven't cared what time I got home since I was a kid.

Even then you weren't that bothered.

Know what I see when I look at you now?

The same stupid little girl you were then!

-What?

-You were always were a self-centred madam.

Sorry, am I supposed to have done something?

It was my birthday today.

65, in case you're interested.

And the rest.

I'm sorry, all right, I'm sorry I didn't hang out the bunting for such an important occasion,

you know, but I have got other things going on in my life!

You're determined to screw 'em up.

Lovely house, great kids. All right, your old man might not be the sharpest tool in the box,

but most women wouldn't kick him out of bed.

You're just the same Tanya, same as you were when you were a kid,

always wanting more, never satisfied.

We all have choices in life.

Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.

But once you make your cosy marital bed, you got a duty to lie in it.

-What, like you did?

-What?

Well, you might have been there for Dad during the good times, Mum,

but what about when things weren't so good?

Where were you then? Where were you when he was ill?

-Don't go there!

-No! No you bang on about me being selfish,

I'm the one who had to sit by his deathbed day in day out

and watch him writhe about in agony, where were you Mum?

Out getting wasted, going to parties, having fun.

And you've got the cheek to call me selfish? To say I don't care about MY husband?!

Don't you compare me and your father to this sham of a marriage you got going here.

How dare you!

I've got eyes, girl, I can see.

You say all the right things, make all the right noises, but there's nothing there.

You don't even love Greg, do you?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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