23/08/2011 EastEnders

FATBOY GROANS

Well, it's better than top and tailing with all those Spandau Ballet lookalikes, innit.

Who's Spandau Ballet?

Spandau Ballet?

I don't know.

Hazell Dean's on this evening.

You shouldn't be doing that in here.

I don't do rules.

I'm a lesbian.

Ice cream.

I'll have one scoop of strawberry, one scoop of vanilla.

Full English? Half English?

I've always fancied ice cream for me breakfast.

And I might as well have it now...

while I've got have the chance.

Shirley, you said?

Yeah. She's Pepsi.

You're a right laugh, you are!

-It's Heather, actually.

-Tilly, ain't she a right laugh?

You two been on the vitamins or something?

-So, you pair married?

-No.

Been together long?

-You'd be surprised how recent.

-Yeah, but we've known each other for ages.

That were like us, weren't it, Debs?

-We knew each other going on three years.

-Then one night...

-Too many snakebites.

-Do you mind? I'm trying to eat my breakfast.

And before you know it...

-You're making my eggs curdle.

-Morning, ladies.

All right, Fats?

Morning, Mrs B.

You know me, Arthur, I ain't one to cast aspersions.

But you're a married man.

What are you talking about?

What, me and Whit?! Nah! Nah, nah, we're just friends.

That's what you said last time.

Now I'm not for a minute saying Whitney's a bad girl

because she ain't a bad girl,

but she's very, very fragile, and I don't want you getting hurt again.

And she don't need to be hurt.

-That's where these things usually end up.

-All right?

-You'll never guess who I've just seen in the lift!

-Boy George?

In my humble opinion it takes more than a bit of bad makeup to convince.

Mrs B! You are on fire today.

So, how did it go with baby sis last night?

-I...I didn't find her.

-You're not going to give up?

-Mrs B, you all right? I can come with you if you want.

-You're very kind, Arthur.

But there ain't no need.

You and Whitney...

Frankie says chillax. THEY LAUGH

-I think Frankie says get a bit of bacon, babe.

-Yes, please.

MOBILE RINGS

You all right?

Not going to let him bother me.

That's right. Right, before you get your bacon, do the bacon dance.

Bacon dance, come on!

# Come on Whitney, uh!

-# Come on Whitney! #

-Stop it!

-One fried.

-I said scrambled.

-One scrambled.

-Yeah, man, that looks good, babe.

Oi! No, you don't, young lady. In here.

MUSIC: "Take On Me" by A-ha

Hazell Dean's on this evening.

I love Hazell Dean.

Do you love Hazell Dean?

Can't say I remember her.

Oh, um... She did, um...

# Searchin', looking for love

# All the time that I can... #

Boom, boom! # Searchin'

# Looking for lo-o-o-o-ove...

# I got to find me a man! #

You're not really a lesbian, are you?

Yeah. I am. I've got a badge here and everything.

Can I still come in?

I didn't think you was. Not that you can tell.

No, you can't, can you? Not nowadays.

Shirley... she's not a lesbian either.

MUSIC SWELLS: "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler

Like you said. You can't tell.

I was just telling...

-Andrew.

-I was just telling Andrew who Hazell Dean is.

-Yeah?

We're busy. Bye.

Shirl, Shirl! The stalls are this way!

I know.

I don't know your name.

Um... Heather. I'm Heather.

And you've no idea what happened?

-I told you. No.

-Were you in the club?

-Look, I just want a bath.

-Did you go somewhere after?

-I was having fun.

-Fun, she calls it!

-You should try it out sometime.

-Actually she was supposed to be at a wedding with me.

-A few mates, a few drinks.

-Kim, that don't make any sense at all, at all, at all.

-Does it really matter?

-You slept in a skip, Kim!

-I was joking.

-So what, you've been out drinking all night?

-I'm not a lush, Denise.

-No, it really looks like it(!)

-Were you there with anyone?

-Look, I don't remember.

Oh, really? Because just now, you said a few mates.

Yeah, in the club. A few mates.

But did you leave with anyone?

I can't remember!

-We've all had nights like that.

-And if that was your sister?

OK, I'll ask Dom on the door.

Look, just drop it, OK? I don't know!

Kim.

Please...

Have you, um...

Has something happened?

-Did someone do this to you?

-Is that what happened?

Kim...have you been attacked?

Er, Whit? This one goes upside down!

-Yeah, I know, it'll be a laugh.

-Yeah, but the Fats ain't made to go upside down.

You'll be fine. Come on, I'll hold your hand.

I'm still spinning from yesterday, so I'm just...

You're coming with me. You'll be fine.

MOBILE RINGS

-Just leave it.

-I ain't scared of him, Fats.

-Just turn it off.

-I won't have him think I'm scared.

All right? I know this ain't Lee.

And I ain't got time for liars.

Just leave me alone, all right?

'I made my choice. And you're just going to have to get used to it.'

What time do you call this to be coming home, you dirty stop-out?

Suppose that's one way to remove plaque.

That was all I ever wanted once.

Now...I've had it with men.

That why you've suddenly become a lesbian?

I've had it with love full stop.

From now on, it's just me, you and George.

Mmm. Till he grows up and moves out.

No-one moves out any more.

And even if he does...

he'll want us to look after the grandchildren, won't he?

Patrick, any news?

Still at the hospital, and her phone is off. You?

-Dom said she left on her own, so...

-And nobody knows where she went?

The market inspector won't show me the CCTV footage, only the police.

-The police won't do anything unless Kim makes a statement.

-OK, well, we could ask round the shops.

There's more than one set of cameras on the square.

Mint chocolate chip, babe!

One mint chocolate chip, and...

-Um...

-Nice day for it.

Do come and sit down, Dorothy.

You're still a dirty stop-out.

Bear with a sore head, are we?

Coaster, dear.

Care for a florentine?

Over 40 years and you think you can get round me

with one of your fancy biscuits.

-Whitney, please. Don't be like that.

-Didn't you get my message?

Everybody makes mistakes.

A mistake? A mistake?! Getting away from you was not a mistake.

I made Lee up because I knew you wouldn't see me.

I wanted a chance to explain.

I thought that...

I thought that you might like to know the truth.

Mate, that is wicked! Whit, have a look...

He was in my ward. Mixed, it were.

That was nice for you.

He kept me company when you rushed off to see your precious Auntie Gwen.

She were dying! I've seen him.

And you went and left me.

-All on my own.

-Poor little Rosie.

He had a carpet factory on the Wirral. He wasn't married any more.

Oh. That made a change.

He wondered if I'd come down here and retire with him.

He had grandchildren in London. And I thought...

Southend. Sounds nice.

Even as a girl, you never had no elastic in your drawers.

Beautiful house, isn't it? I've never lived anywhere like it.

And how long before you get bored with him?

Like you get bored with everyone else.

He died.

Three years ago.

-Running off down here!

-I'm not the one running.

Didn't you know that I'd follow you? You know that I'd come and find you.

Go on then. Explain. Give me the truth.

And your little boyfriend down there...

-He's not my boyfriend.

-Does he know what you did?

-I ain't done nothing!

-He'll find out.

Every man you ever date, every guy you ever see. They'll find out.

-Don't have to.

-They won't be able to think about you

-without thinking about the other guys.

-You don't scare me.

Why would I want to scare you? Your little boyfriend down there.

-He's not my boyfriend.

-He doesn't care less about you. Nobody does other than me.

Is that right? Is that right, Rob?

Is that why we're staying at the Regal?

Is that why he drove me up here in the Jag? Leather seats, everything?

-Jag... Classy, that is.

-It doesn't... I don't care!

It could've been a clapped-out Fiesta, I really don't care.

Cos he's my friend, and that is why he's here and that is why he likes me.

He doesn't love you though, does he?

Not like I do.

What you did, no-one else would've done. You did it cos you love me.

You did it because that's what people do when they're in love.

You did that out of choice, Whit.

What we had... no-one will ever understand.

No-one'll have that.

No-one'll know.

No, we didn't have anything.

Oh, right? So how come every night when you go to bed

and close them beautiful eyes... all's you think about is me?

I know that's the truth.

Cos I think about you too.

Never could stand to see me happy.

-You stole my Charlie!

-He couldn't get away fast enough.

How dare you?! Take, take, take.

-That's all you've ever done.

-He left me with nothing.

You left my Nick without a father.

-At least you got a son.

-It's your fault he turned out how he did.

It's disgraceful, taking away a little boy's father.

I pity you, Dorothy.

Well, you can save your pity.

Think you can impress me with your fancy house and fancy biscuits?

You've always been jealous.

I've got a fancy house.

And I've got friends.

And I've got an husband.

Jim and me, we have a good life. We have a wonderful life.

-I've got friends too.

-Huh!

That drunken bunch I saw you with?

-A best friend, actually. Just like you and Pauline.

-Pauline is more than a best friend.

Pauline is more like a sister.

She's coming round soon, my friend, for lunch. If you'd like to stay.

I expect Jim'll be whisking me away somewhere,

-I shouldn't wonder.

-Why did you come, Dorothy?

I...

I felt sorry for you, didn't I?

Are you all right?

Well, of course I'm all right.

Why shouldn't I be?

Never been better.

Enjoy your lunch.

I shouldn't have taken you to that party.

I was off my nut, I didn't know what I was thinking.

You didn't have to run away like that.

You should've just said the word.

-I would've taken you home.

-I told you. You know I did.

I didn't know you were serious though, did I?

Look, Whit.

I'm sorry. For the things I did, all right.

But I can't turn back time now, can I?

-That guy thinks nothing about you!

-He's my friend, all right?

-Come on, Whit. Don't be stupid.

-I'll shout.

-Shout?

-No-one's bothered. A couple having an argument.

-Excuse me...

-You don't listen, do you?!

-Excuse me, please.

-Nobody cares.

They're at the seaside.

Boyfriends and girlfriends. Walking on the beach.

Kissing. Having fun. That's what we should be doing.

Having fun of our own.

Come on.

I knew you'd see sense.

I knew you'd come home.

Whitney! Whitney!

SHE WHISPERS TO HERSELF

You hiding from me? ..What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong?

-We need to go.

-All right.

Finished for the day? What a shame.

-Half day today.

-I like half days. That's like working a full day.

-But you only do half of it.

-Come on, Rambo's busy.

If you wanted, we could go to the fairground?

We've got memorabilia to look at.

-We can come back later.

-If you've made other plans I suppose...

No, no. I like fairgrounds.

We could win a cuddly toy for my little boy.

Don't let us keep you from your memorabilia.

You'll never guess what we've just bought!

-A Haircut 100 cassette album!

-Signed by Haircut 100!

Fairground. Sounds great.

-I can take you back to Walford if you want, babe.

-No.

If he turns up again, we'll just call the police.

Fats, you don't understand. He's going to be so angry right now.

He's not going to do nothing here with all these people around.

He'll have got the message. You'll never hear from him again. Trust me.

MOBILE RINGS

Don't answer it.

Yeah, who is this?

Yeah, that's me.

..What?!

Rewind, bruv. What did you say about the jag?!

Thank you.

Your room key, madam?

Oh...

Oh! I thought I'd lost it.

-Sometimes in life you've just got to try things.

-Actually, Shirl's right.

-Yeah, Shirl's always right.

-I've got a bit of a delicate stomach.

My mum's a bit like that.

Bet you live with your mother, don't you?

I've got my own place, actually.

Extra headroom?

Sea view. Palm trees in the garden and everything.

We could go on the Dodgems, if you like.

If you want Dodgems, we'll do Dodgems.

Oh! I love Dodgems.

Actually, Dodgems make me feel a bit sick, too.

Then we'll do something else.

No, no, it's fine. You two go on the Dodgems.

-I don't want to spoil your fun.

-You sure you'll be all right?

-Yeah.

-I just need a bath.

-Three hours, for that?

-I told you it was nothing serious.

-Getting attacked and blacking out?

-I just want to put the whole thing behind me.

-We should still call the police.

-I said no police!

-Someone must have seen something.

-Look, a nice long soak and a good night's sleep.

-Kim. Denise!

We could even watch a film, if you like?

She's got no broken bones.

-Just you and me.

-Kim...

-Bit of popcorn.

-Kim!

Patrick's found out what happened to you.

It's going to be about half-hour to an hour, babe.

They can fix it though, can't they?

Yeah. It has to spend a night in the car hospital, though.

-Shirley's going to kill me.

-Why? It's only a broken window.

-It's Phil's ride.

-She probably won't even know.

She'll pick me up with her big dinosaur pincers and break my legs.

Then I'll get back and Phil will break 'em again.

Not being funny, Fats, it's not your fault, is it?

I bet you can't wait to go away with me again, eh, babe?

Nah, you're a nice bloke.

Nice bloke with four broken legs.

Um...why don't you go up, eh? Frankie says chillax, remember.

No. I'll wait here with you.

No, no, after what you been through?

You deserve to go upstairs, kick off your shoes and relax your feet.

All right.

You can't make her into a lesbian because you want her to be one.

I don't. It was her idea to come here.

-Then why are you being so protective?

-Because she's a mate.

Ten minutes, that's all I'm asking.

-If she ain't interested...

-She ain't!

Then she ain't interested. But it'll take a lot more than you

to stop me trying, I tell you.

I cleaned it up though.

In the next part, after the ad break.

You're dead!

Kim, I thought you'd been attacked.

Come on, Pops.

I tell you, you have one twisted sense of humour.

-Dee, please...

-Don't you Dee me.

I give you tea and sympathy.

-I took you in to casualty!

-I'm sorry.

Sorry?

Look, just shut up about it, yeah?

-You're sorry?

-Just shut up.

-How dare you?!

-You know what, it ain't to do with you.

Oh? It was to do with me this morning when you wanted it to be.

It weren't to do with you last night and it ain't to do with you now.

So who is it to do with then?

-Cos if somebody don't tell me soon...

-Oh, look, it's just some guy!

What guy?

He came to see me yesterday.

And what's that got to do with the price of fish?

He was an ex, yeah?

Last year. Nothing serious.

And?

He's got HIV.

KNOCKING

INSISTENT KNOCKING

I just met your dead husband.

TV PLAYS "IN THE NIGHT GARDEN"

KNOCKING

Fats?

-Forget your key...

-Room service.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]