16/12/2011 EastEnders

Can we go on the rides? Can we?

Yeah. Course you can. Suppose you want some money, don't ya?

-There you go.

-Yeah!

-You're very quiet.

-Am I?

You still thinking about your row with Bianca?

-Yeah.

-Forget it. Forget about the lot of it.

That's why we're here, ain't it?

It'll take more than a day in Clacton to make me forget the bailiffs knocking on the door.

# It's the right time

# It's the bright time to rock the night away... #

It's a black ladies' two-piece business suit.

There can't be many of them back there!

# ..A swell time to go riding in a one-horse sleigh... #

Don't I pay you to clean,

and not show off your varicose veins?

My cleaning shift has finished

and I am not due at the surgery till 12 o'clock.

-Not that it's going to be much fun now Dr Khan is leaving.

-Is this it?

Oh, yes, at last. It took you a whole five minutes.

It'll take a lot longer next time

if you don't keep a civil tongue in your head. That'll be £7.50.

And it went like this, then like that.

Oh, Dot, I've remembered the whole routine.

The only thing you'll get me doing at Christmas is the hokey cokey,

and I have difficulty remembering whether it's in, out or shake it all about.

Ta. Did you go and see 'em off?

Who?

Well, Pat and Ricky and everyone. They've gone for the day to Clacton.

Oh, Clacton.

Getting your knees brown, eating winkles with a pin.

No, I didn't know that they'd gone.

I thought with you being one of the family and everything...

Mind you, Whitney ain't gone, on account of her college work.

Thank you very much for reminding me, once again,

that I'm not part of that family.

Bit late for your Christmas card list.

I'm just trying to work things out, be practical.

"Carol - Jack's"?

I thought you could move in with him when I lose the house.

For starters, I'm not moving in with him. Give me that.

We came away to take our mind off things, remember?

Another couple of years, they'll realise there's not much to laugh about.

Remember them days?

When you didn't have a care, life was just a blank piece of paper...

It all started for me here, you know.

What? Clacton?

Mm. Holiday camp. Miss Butlins 1958.

It's where I first met Frank.

Every time I come here, it brings it all back.

It always smells the same, sounds the same,

even if it don't look the same.

I only have to close my eyes

and I'm...16 again.

Wiggling along the prom,

thinking I'm the bee's knees!

And the boys all wolf whistling at me two-piece!

So that's why we're here? So you can get nostalgic.

No. No, we're here to forget, like I said.

But sometimes forgetting one thing,

you end up remembering a load of other stuff.

They're not in.

They're all on a fun-filled trip to Clacton.

Oh, right. Ricky gone as well, then, has he?

Oh yeah, yeah, the whole clan. Apparently.

SHE SPEAKS IN HINDI

You'll never believe what she said.

-Are you doing this on purpose?

-Sorry?

You know I have to finish this surgery work for my replacement.

-Give me the phone.

-What for?

-This is important.

I don't know why I agreed to it.

The last thing I want to do is be nice to Mandy across a table.

-Should I just tell Ian we can't come?

-If you want.

Sorry. Here's me rattling on about some stupid dinner party

when you're worried about Kamil.

I'll always be worried about Kamil.

But not today.

I'll fight. I'll make Zainab change her mind.

-But not today. Today is about this.

-What's that for?

Oh, it's a surprise. For you.

-I love surprises!

-Well, that s good to know.

So long as they're a good surprise. Ian was one for surprises.

But they often turned out to be, well...not good.

Oh, well, this one is good. We're going on a picnic.

-In December?

-Oh, it's the perfect month for it!

-And what will you get if you get cold?

-A chesty cough?

-No. A cuddle.

-Brrrr! I've just come over all chilly.

-Can we play on the beach?

-Yeah, come on, then.

-Liam, come on.

-I'll play with them. Not you.

-Oi, Liam.

-He's the reason we're being chucked out onto the streets!

No, he ain't. I think you'll find that's me.

He was supposed to come back with money, but he never. Cos he's useless!

Right, come on, then.

I'll race you to the beach!

Come on, then.

He's just being mouthy. Just being a kid.

-Ricky knows that.

-It's not taking your mind off it, is it?

Bianca will be out soon, she'll sort out Ricky and the kids.

-You shouldn't have to worry about them.

-Neither should you.

-Me?

-It's what I do. I'll go to my grave worrying about someone or other.

-What do I do?

Sit around counting earrings?

D'you know, it's at times like this

I could do with a man around to lean on.

I know that's not the right-on thing to say.

Because we're strong, independent women.

We don't need men.

Well, I'm sorry, sometimes I do.

I'd give anything to have Frank or Roy around right now.

Listen to me! It's this place!

Everywhere I look I see ghosts.

I should have put more vinegar on these chips!

I wonder what culinary hell we'll be put through tonight.

-I thought Ian was a good cook.

-Oh, the food will be delicious.

It's the smug sauce he'll be serving with it that'll turn your stomach.

Sorry. I keep talking about Ian, don't I?

You know, when they rescue people who've been held captive,

they get them to talk about their kidnappers. It helps.

I don't feel so bad now!

We're bound to talk about our exes.

I know you don't want to talk about it today,

but Zainab can't take Kamil out of the country

-without you agreeing, surely?

-I still don't think they'll go.

But if they do, I'll have to follow. You know that, don't you?

I mean, clearly I'm not going to give up.

-Yeah, I know.

-I'm sorry.

I just wanted to do something nice for you and I just made you sad.

You make me so happy, you do.

It's just...now I've got you, I don't want to let you go.

Come on, Morgan!

Sea air. Meant to be good for you.

Mind you, I'd rather have the air in a pub right now.

Oh, Liam, give him a bit of slack.

He's blaming himself enough as it is.

-Why can't we be a normal family, eh?

-Normal? Where's the fun in that?

Why don't you go down there and join in?

-Don't want to.

-Fair enough, you're the one missing out.

Here, kids, you going to go in the sea?

It's freezing!

You'll go for a paddle, won't you, Tiff?

Yeah!

If they get a cold before Christmas, it's your fault.

Oh, come on, don't you tell me you've never kicked your shoes off

and splashed about with some boy. I know I have!

I'd give anything to be down there, feeling the sand between my toes.

Go on, what's stopping you?

They don't want an old bird spoiling their fun.

Age sneaks up on you, you know.

But I tell you something - in here, you're always a kid.

Come on, Liam, let's get some ice creams.

You two still on for tonight?

Looking forward to it!

-Yusef, no! Yusef, please!

-Yes. I want him to hear the good news from us.

-Masood.

-What?

Just so you know, we've managed to speed things up

-and we're leaving for Pakistan in a couple of weeks.

-Two weeks!

Come on, we've got an appointment.

How can you do this, Zainab? Taking Kamil to another country?

This is a private matter. Nothing to do with you.

-Don't speak to her like that!

-It's got everything to do with me!

I can see how much it's hurting Masood, when he's done nothing.

Nothing? And I suppose you've done nothing as well?

-It started with you two sneaking off together.

-Change the record!

We were friends, that's all. But you can't understand that -

you don't have any friends!

-I've got plenty, thank you!

-Really? Where are they?

Where are they? You lock yourself away for days,

-and when you do step out of the house, you're in his shadow!

-Zainab.

I'm not going to let you take my son.

-Masood has rights. Kamil has rights!

-What about Bobby?

-Didn't stop you abandoning him!

-I never! He's always been to see me.

-Come away.

-Jane, let's go.

Children need their parents! Mother and father.

Kamil has got Yusef, then!

He has me!

People are watching. Come on, Zainab.

-Masood, take Jane away.

-You don't tell me what to do.

I do when it concerns my wife. Come on, Zainab.

You're ruining lives!

You'd know all about that, Jane!

-What do you think you're doing?

-Telling her she's in the wrong!

-I'm standing up for you!

-You're making matters worse!

Waves come in. Waves go out.

Yeah.

Be nice if they washed our troubles away as easy, wouldn't it?

Don't worry about Bianca.

Her being in prison, there's bound to be the odd fight.

But it don't mean anything. We all know she's mad about you.

Just like you're mad about her.

-Pat, I...

-What?

I'd give anything to pay that debt off for you.

Oh, that would only keep them at bay for a little while, darling.

But it's all right, I've had an idea.

I know what I've got to do.

You're a good boy, Ricky.

And you're a good mum.

Well, if you can't help your kids...

I don't mean just David and Simon.

You've been a good mum to me too.

And, you know, I know I don't say it often enough, but...thanks.

Come on. Let's get back to reality.

I'm so sorry I lost it.

I just hate the way Zainab's controlling your life!

Oh, the last thing I need right now is to spend the evening

with Ian and his trophy girlfriend!

Come here.

I'm not going to let that man ruin my life any more.

I'm going to phone my solicitor this afternoon.

I'll fight for my son. MY son.

But tonight, one of our exes is holding out the hand of friendship,

and I think we should take it.

We should eat his food and laugh at his jokes.

They're never funny.

We can hold hands under the table.

That sounds nice.

-My wife does not scream in the street!

-You're blaming me?!

-She attacked me!

-My wife is dignified! She walks away!

-I'm just meant to ignore that?

-Yes! I told you to stop!

I told you, and you carried on in front of that man!

Well, I'm sorry, but if someone is going to attack me,

-I can't just turn my back on them.

-Yes, you can!

Well, you shouldn't have broken the news to Masood like that.

You're blaming me?

No, I'm... I am just saying that Masood was bound to be upset.

-He loves Kamil.

-That man is going to be breathing down our necks forever.

What do you expect? Because we're taking him away from him.

He doesn't want ME back. He wants Kamil.

-Then give the boy to him!

-What?

-If that's what it takes for us to be free of Masood,

it's a small price to pay! Offload the boy and then we can be free.

He'll only ever be an outcast to me anyway.

Oh, Yusef, I'm so sorry! Yusef, I'm really, really sorry!

You made me do this. You made me hit you!

Is that what you want? Is that what you're used to?

If you raise your hand to me again, Zainab,

-I will take Kamil and I will get rid of him myself!

-No!

And Tamwar too.

If you bring him into this, I won't be responsible for my actions.

-You understand me?

-Yes! Yes, I'm sorry!

-Do you understand me?

Yusef, Yusef, please, no! Yusef!

Why couldn't we have stayed in Clacton for ever?

Cos this is where we live.

Will all our stuff be chucked outside?

-What?

-That s what I heard you say to Nana Pat.

When we get back, the men will have been and all our stuff will be dumped outside.

No, love, it won't be like that.

I don't mind. We've been homeless before,

but Dad wasn't with us then, so it'll be better this time.

Yeah, cos he does a great job of looking after us, don't he(?)

-Liam!

-What? Another great Christmas this is going to be(!)

Go on, love, you go ahead.

I've got somebody I need to see.

-Who?

-I am entitled to a private life, aren't I?

Go on. They'll want their teas.

There, you see, that was a funny joke.

You know what? Jane never used to find my jokes funny.

Oh, I found the more I drank, the funnier they became.

Top me up, please.

You know, this is gorgeous, Ian, it really is.

One of the great things about Ian, Mandy, is you'll never have to cook,

which for me was massive - you know, cooking all day in the cafe.

Yeah. My mum's cafe, the one you sold to Phil.

It's all water under the bridge now, Ian.

I mean, come on, look at us, sat around the same table.

Being adults.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's really good, especially for Bobby.

Absolutely. And you two are happy.

Engaged and everything.

And me and Masood, well...

-We're just enjoying really getting to know each other, aren't we?

-Oh, yeah.

It's all worked out for the best, hasn't it?

You've got the sensitive man you can talk to

and I've got the girl of my dreams.

-What?

-(Hand.)

-Hello, Patty.

-Janine.

D'you know, I think we must have had a really bad reception,

cos I could swear when we spoke on the phone

that you asked for my help.

You know I wouldn't be here if I had any other option.

You don't even try to disguise your contempt for me, do you?

-I don't need a row.

-Well, you NEED something.

How was Clacton?

It was a last-minute thing, you know, treat for the kids.

Oh, fun and frolics for all the family.

Very clever, the way you always manage to remind me I'm an outsider.

-Don't be daft.

-You know what I really, really love about you, Pat?

The way that I'm dead to you one minute,

and the next, you're crawling like a little snake,

asking for my help.

So what is it this time?

Tiffany needs a new pair of shoes?

Or maybe little Morgan needs a crust of bread?

I took out a loan on the house. to help my son Simon,

and now I've had this letter.

They say they'll repossess the house if I don't pay the money back.

We're expecting the bailiffs any minute.

How much?

Um... Fif...Fifty grand.

It's that simple?

You wouldn't ask me if you weren't desperate.

-I don't know what to say.

-You don't need to say anything.

It was a chicken. It was a china chicken to keep eggs in.

-Happy Christmas, Jane(!)

-It was a collectable piece!

And then the next year it was a set of oven mitts and matching apron.

-Like I didn't have enough aprons!

-That was a joke present!

D'you know what? You are just remembering what you want to remember.

I've had some corkers in my time.

Let's see - black eyes, stolen handbags.

-Oh no, no, wait - I did have a guy once that gave me a puppy.

-Ahh.

Ate my selection box and puked in my face.

Yeah, well, there won't be any more rubbish presents.

-Not now you're with me.

-Oh, please.

Make the most of it, Mandy, because once he's got that wedding ring

on your finger, you'll see the real Ian.

Why don't you have some water? You don't want a headache in the morning.

Oh. Did you see that, Mandy?

He cares about me. He really does.

Isn't he lovely? Onwards and upwards, no question.

Yeah. He lives in a B&B.

He could live in the gutter for all I care,

cos he makes me happy.

And you do, Masood, you make me really, really happy.

-That's nice.

-And I know you always will.

You know, I was thinking last night.

Working out where we'll all be in ten years' time, you know.

Me and Mas. Well, I was thinking we'll have a successful business.

Asian fusion restaurant.

and a little house not so far away.

Not too big but with a little garden for Bobby and Kamil to play in.

And we'll travel the world and have lovely holidays.

Starting with our honeymoon.

You... You've really thought about this, haven't you?

But you can't get married, can you? Well, you're both from different religions.

I know that sort of stuff doesn't bother you, but it does you.

-So I'll convert.

-Yeah, right!

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

I'll become a Muslim.

DRAINS GLASS AND SLAMS ON TABLE

Where are you going?

-I need some milk.

-There's no need to take Kamil. It's cold out.

Give him to me.

Give him to me, Zainab.

Don't be long.

Uh...I forgot the money.

I'll have some paperwork drawn up first thing.

-Paperwork?

-Well, I need some security, Pat. You must realise that.

In case you miss a repayment.

-What sort of security?

-Uh, your house, of course.

I mean, we all need a little bit of security sometimes, don't we?

Night-night. Sleep tight.

Well, it's been... it's been fun.

Yeah, yeah. We should return the favour.

Yeah. I mean, no rush, though.

-No. No.

-You're not going, are you?

-I've got some champagne.

-Bubbles.

We should go.

Why have we got champagne?

Because I've got an announcement to make.

-What kind of announcement?

-The best kind. Now I was gonna tell you later on,

but I thought, well, we're amongst friends, aren't we?

I had a call earlier on, from the registrar. He's had a cancellation and I've taken it.

So we can get married. Surprise!

-When?

-Monday.

Well, we know that we want to marry each other.

And this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

See, Jane, you're not the only one with a life plan.

-You weren't gone long.

-Where's Kamil?

Playing.

What you need is coffee, and lots of it.

-Do Muslims drink coffee?

-Only if it's halal.

Did you see the look on Mandy's face?

Like a turkey realising it's Christmas.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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