19/12/2011 EastEnders


19/12/2011

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Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

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Ho! Merry Christmas, everybody!

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Merry Christmas, Walford!

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Tonight at six o'clock in the Queen Vic,

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we are celebrating Walford's finest son, Ian Albert Beale!

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He's going to be marrying the beautiful Mandy.

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I've still got to get presents for, you know, Morgan, Tiff, Whitney, Carol.

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I ain't exactly been the best dad recently, have I?

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Or ever, I would argue.

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-Shut up, Janine.

-Pat, after everything I've done for you.

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-What, are you going to hold this over her for ever?

-I... I want everyone to be happy.

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Well, tough. You're the bank now, ain't ya? And you know how people feel about banks.

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Pat, you all right? Pat?

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Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

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See, all that bitterness cannot be good for your health.

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Hey, look who it is everybody! Our very own - Ian Beale!

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Nice day for a wedding, ain't it, Alfie?

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-No, I'm Santa. Santa.

-Ha!

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You coming along tonight, Ricky? 6pm?

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It's a wedding that doesn't end up in prison - which for you is a novelty.

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Oh, and you.

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-Is she still marrying him?

-Looks like it, yeah.

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What?

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Listen, Pat, I've done a terrible thing, you know.

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Kamil, baba. Please, Mummy's very tired, OK?

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When your father knows what's happening,

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he'll be there for us, all right. Don't worry.

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Sandwich?

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No, thank you.

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You should. You know what plane food's like.

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-I'm sorry?

-I've managed to book us on a flight today.

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-Today?

-Why wait?

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Because...that's what we'd decided. You know, there's...

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We can't just leave like that - there's so much to do. BANGING CONTINUES

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Can you...

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Everything's done at the surgery, you're done at the Minute Mart. Afia and Tamwar will take care of admin.

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You just need to pack your bag.

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Eat your sandwich.

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Yes, it's about my application for a Prohibited Steps Order... DOOR BELL RINGS

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No, I left a message but he didn't call back.

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OK, I'll wait. Yeah.

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I know it's Christmas, but dead goose just creeps me out.

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Oh sorry, you're on the phone.

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-On hold.

-They were just hanging there, you know...

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with their stringy little necks.

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Want a bit?

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Are you joking?

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-Bacon. Sorry.

-Hm.

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You better get used to life without them. When you convert.

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It was after me and Bianca had a fight, and Mandy was just there.

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But that's no excuse. Everything Bianca's done for this family...

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And for me!

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I mean a bloke like me never gets a girl like Bianca.

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Let alone a second chance with her. And then I go and do this.

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I've got to pick her up in a couple of days, what am I going to tell her?

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Nothing. You're a good boy, Ricky. Stop worrying.

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It'll sort itself out.

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There you go. There's one ring.

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-Lovely.

-There's the other one. Alfie, don't lose them.

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"Don't lose them". It'll be OK.

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-OK, is the fizz in the fridge?

-Yes.

-OK. Food?

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Yeah, caterers brought all that in this morning. Jean's a bit off form, I don't want to take any chances.

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-Is the cake here yet?

-Course the cake's here and there's a piece with your name on it, young man!

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-So, how's the bride looking?

-I don't know. It's bad luck!

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All right, do you want to calm down a little bit?!

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Deep breaths! Come 6pm, you'll walk through that door, she'll be on your arm.

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It'll be beautiful!

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-What are you wearing that for?

-I've got a wedding to go to, ain't I?

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Just because we don't like each other, Ian, doesn't mean we're not friends.

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This way your rings won't get pawned cos he's heard a whisper about a horse.

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-It only happened the once! OK, it was twice. But I got lucky.

-Lucky for you.

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-What happened to the tie I gave you?

-Little accident with a fried egg.

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But no-one got hurt.

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-But we don't match.

-What's the difference?

-It's a wedding! The groom, best man, usher,

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we're all supposed to be co-ordinated. We match, OK? I'll get you another one.

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-I'll meet you out front. You stick with him.

-OK...

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Listen, Kat, you don't have to come if you don't want to, darling.

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He's a mate, ain't he?

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You look beautiful, by the way.

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And I have to hear it from Afia. Via text. What is the rush?

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It's the house. We have to sign the transfer forms for the house in Karachi by a certain date

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or the sale won't go through.

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What? And they only just told you?

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Yes, only now. You know what they're like.

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-When do you go?

-Car at three.

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Car... Oh, and that's it, is it?

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Tamwar, it won't be long before we're all there.

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Yeah, I know, yeah, but...

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I just thought we'd all go together.

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Oh, Tamwar.

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Syed's not going to like this.

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By the time he comes back, there won't be much he can do about it.

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Are you serious?

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Trust me. Everything's going to be fine.

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Oh, that's not really your colour, is it, love.

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-How did you get in?

-Please.

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Yeah, well, I've got a wedding to go to.

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Is this it then? What you've always wanted? Nice little house.

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Married to a man you don't love.

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I do love Ian.

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I knew his mother, doll. Even she struggled.

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I do.

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Is that why you're throwing yourself at Ricky?

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Boy can't keep his mouth shut, you know it.

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I never threw myself at anyone, Pat. He was well up for it.

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In fact I've had blokes straight out of prison that were less keen.

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Classy, Mandy.

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-You're lecturing me on class?

-No.

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But I was married to a man I didn't love and it weren't much fun. But like you say, who am I to lecture?

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Right, well, off you go, then.

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Hm... Ta-da.

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Oh, I nearly forgot.

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You lay another hand on Ricky and so help me,

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I will flatten you, even if it takes my last breath.

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Like I said - not your colour.

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Come on, mate, in you get. Come on, in you get.

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And tuck your shirt in, as well. Right, get your seatbelt on.

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There you go, mate.

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Oh, look at this beauty. This is going to be a good day.

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Rings?

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2.30 at Newmarket.

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Don't! Don't. No, no, don't listen to her, they're safe and sound, all right?

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Got 'em right here. But more importantly, the wedding mix.

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You know what, this must be the only car on Earth that still has a tape deck.

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# You're the best thing that ever... #

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Oh c'mon, Alfie!

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Oh, come on, you lovely people, strap yourselves in and get ready for romance. What a tune!

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LAUGHTER

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# You're the best thing that ever happened... #

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Car...

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Oh, look at that, I've run out of my moisturiser.

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I'll just pop out for a few moments.

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You can buy it over there.

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-What? This brand? I don't think so.

-At the airport, then.

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For twice as much?!

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I'll get it. You keep packing.

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Yusef, you are an incredible man,

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but a woman's moisturiser is her own business.

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Come on, baba. Let's go.

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I'll look after him.

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He'll just slow you down.

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Thank you.

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Ten minutes.

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At the most.

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Zainab.

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Yes?

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I love you.

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I love you too.

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The solicitor's sent the application. He's confident we'll get the order, which means

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she can't take Kamil out of the country without permission.

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-Great.

-Yeah, but if she wants to ignore the order and take him,

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which she probably can, it's a crime! DOOR BELL RINGS

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But here's the thing - once they're in Pakistan,

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there's nothing the police, the courts or anyone can do.

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It's up to me.

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BELL RINGS AGAIN

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We're divorced, Zainab. That means blessed relief from you nagging me.

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I'm not in the mood, Zainab.

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Who is it? >

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No-one.

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Ten minutes.

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Everything OK?

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Fine.

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So... Rogan josh?

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The butcher had goose?

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Geese, multiple.

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The butcher next to the library, right?

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Yeah. Not the halal butcher, then.

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-I am so sorry.

-It's OK.

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-I didn't even think.

-It's OK.

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It's not OK, Masood!

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I'm trying really hard here and you're giving me nothing.

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I mean, making me feel guilty about eating a bacon sarnie

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which is about a basic a human right as there is. Meanwhile, I'm getting drunk and making a fool of myself.

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SHE SIGHS

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I just wonder if this whole thing's just...

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too hard.

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Come here.

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It's not too hard. Look at me.

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It's not too hard.

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-Promise?

-I promise.

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-I don't want to convert.

-You don't have to convert.

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-Really?

-Not unless you want to.

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-Do you want me to?

-Well, only if you want to.

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-You don't require it?

-No.

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So I don't have to?

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I'm surprised you even offered!

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-I got a bit carried away, didn't I?

-Yeah.

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I'm sorry about the lamb.

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That's all right.

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Look, give me 20 minutes to get some veg

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and I will break a 100-year family tradition

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by teaching Great-Great-Auntie Shabnam's aloo bhajia recipe to a Muggle.

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Is that what you call us?

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You'll never know.

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I'll get out of the way, let you get your pictures taken. Congratulations, by the way.

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There's no hurry, they're running a bit behind in there.

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Yeah, how much?

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Well, I wouldn't want to push it.

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Well she's not that late, is she?

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-No.

-She's, um, building the excitement.

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Yes, exactly. Don't forget, six o'clock, OK?

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-Yeah, yeah.

-Got the rings? Yes, I've got the rings. They're safe and sound.

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-Ties look brilliant, Ian.

-Yeah, they do, don't they?

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Brilliant.

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Ah, there we are.

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I was talking to the estate agent in Karachi -

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you know they're putting kids' play equipment in the park up the road?

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Really? How wonderful.

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Mum, I still don't know what the rush is.

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It's only a couple of weeks.

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We'll call when we've landed.

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Have a nice flight.

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Thank you for all your help, Tamwar.

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-Jokes are not your thing, are they?

-Oh, come on, that's funny!

-Yeah. Well, if you say so.

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Finally.

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Hi, it's me again. I'm guessing you're stuck in a tunnel or something.

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Look, give us a ring if you're lost, yeah?

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-Is she coming?

-Yeah, course she is.

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Whoa, hold on mate!

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Hold on, you can't close up yet. I haven't been... And it's not even...

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I'll tell you what, just give us five more minutes.

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-She's, um, stuck in the tunnel.

-Sorry.

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-Oh, come on, five minutes won't hurt.

-Yeah. Look, I'll pay extra.

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Here you go. Hang on. How much is that? That's...

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-Look, come on, Alfie, we'll help.

-Yeah, but I don't think I've got much on me.

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Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. How about... £2.60?

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-It's all I've got.

-Give me the rings! Give me the rings!

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-Oh, Ian, you don't have to do this.

-Thanks.

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Hang on, mate. Go on, look please... Take these.

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OK, look you'll easily, easily get a hundred quid for them.

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Come on, please. I just want five more minutes.

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I'm going to ignore the attempted bribe, sir.

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-Call tomorrow and we'll get you a new appointment.

-Look, don't go! I just want to get married.

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I just want to get married.

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Come on, buddy. Let's go home, eh? Come on.

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-TANNOY:

-'Passengers for flight 4U35...'

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Flight 4026 to Karachi...

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There we are. Zone D.

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Down there.

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Zainab!

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Zone D. Come on.

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MUSIC: "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney

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Merry Christmas, Janine.

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Next, please.

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-How are you today, sir?

-I'm fine, thank you.

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-How many bags is it, sir?

-Three.

-Lovely.

-And three passengers? That's right.

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One child and two adults.

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-If I could just get your passports.

-Can you tell me where the lost property is?

-Yeah.

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Take a right and follow the signs.

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Thank you.

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I just need the other passports.

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Zainab? Passports?

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Kamil's. Where's yours?

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What?!

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All right, go get yourself some crisps and a drink.

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I'll be back in a minute.

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Just wait there.

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Did you even put it on?

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Did you ever intend to turn up?

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Look, Mandy, when you agreed to marry me, did you actually think that, you know -

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you'd actually HAVE to marry me?

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-Of course I did.

-Then why didn't you?!

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Why did you just leave me standing there?

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It was me, Bobby, Alfie. We were stood there in our stupid matching ties.

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I even begged the guy to give us some more time. I actually begged him!

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D'you know what, I got the rings out to try and get us some more time.

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-Well, I'm surprised you even noticed I was missing.

-What? So it's my fault?

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It was meant to be special, Ian. You know - flowers, presents, a party.

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It was meant to be my wedding!

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-We're having a party.

-No. Not a proper one!

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Mandy, all I wanted, right, all I wanted in this life

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was to walk into the Vic at six o'clock with you wearing that dress. As my wife.

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And they'd see - they'd see the most beautiful girl in the world, OK?

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Ian Beale's wife. And d'you know what, for once,

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they'd have to take me seriously. They'd be saying "D'you know what, maybe we were wrong about Ian Beale".

0:21:260:21:32

-"They" being Jane.

-No. Not just her.

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Well, that's why I didn't show up, Ian.

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Because you don't care about me. This is all about Jane.

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-Of course it's about Jane! Why would you even think it wasn't?

-You don't love me, then?

0:21:430:21:50

Oh, Mandy, of course I love you.

0:21:500:21:53

Yeah, but what do you want? Do you want some teenage perfect romance,

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where we're each other's world and we never think about another person again, is that it?

0:21:570:22:02

You've been around. Of course it's about Jane.

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And Cindy, and Mel, and Laura. And just cos you're here, they're not going to disappear, are they?

0:22:050:22:11

It doesn't mean I don't love you. And it doesn't mean I don't want to marry you.

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Oh, come on, Mandy, we can be happy. We're still together.

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I mean look, we've still got the dress.

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No.

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I tell you what, we don't have to do all the formal stuff.

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We can do that at a later date. But, I mean, go on just - just put it on, we'll go over there,

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we'll have a good laugh.

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No. I'm sorry.

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Listen...

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..for what it's worth...

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I enjoyed what we had.

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I don't mind that we've not worked out

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and we might not be right for each other.

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D'you know what, maybe everybody WAS right.

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But, d'you know what, they don't know you like I do.

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I really think you're the most special person on earth.

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And for the first time in a long time, you made me happy with who I am.

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So, for that, thank you.

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-Your mother lost her passport.

-What? The most organised woman in the world?

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Yes, it is uncharacteristic. I'll phone them in the morning about a new one.

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We'll go as soon as it arrives.

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-I'll run you a bath.

-I'm fine.

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-I think it's best.

-Tamwar, can you look after Kamil?

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-He'll be all right.

-I'm asking you, Tamwar.

-Sure.

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Come on.

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It's been a really weird day.

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So, what, she just left him at the altar?

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-Somehow that should make me happy. But no-one deserves something like that.

-Who's this?

-Ian.

-Kat.

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What? They're going to find out anyway. Left at the altar.

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-Why?

-Got no idea.

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Well, he deserved it.

0:24:280:24:30

What? Just cos I'm the only one that'll actually say it.

0:24:300:24:33

Oi, he's a decent bloke. And a good dad.

0:24:330:24:36

So wind your neck in or drink somewhere else.

0:24:370:24:40

-You all right, darling?

-Is he all right?

-Oh, Jane, I honestly don't know, darling.

0:24:480:24:52

I know it's come as a bit of a shock.

0:24:520:24:56

Talk of the devil, here he is.

0:24:560:25:00

You all right, mate? You want a bottle?

0:25:000:25:03

Yeah, please, mate. And a lemonade for Bobby.

0:25:030:25:05

-Sit down, I'll bring 'em over, all right?

-How you feeling?

0:25:050:25:08

-Yeah, I'm OK.

-Put your money away, this is on me.

0:25:080:25:11

Oh, cheers, Alf. Put the food out. There's no point in it going to waste, yeah?

0:25:110:25:15

DOOR OPENS

0:25:290:25:31

Bottle of champagne, please, Alfie.

0:25:310:25:33

Could you send it over to me and my husband?

0:25:400:25:44

I love you.

0:25:560:25:59

I love you, too.

0:26:000:26:03

Ladies and gentlemen, things didn't quite go as we planned, did they?

0:26:110:26:16

So, we're going to do it again. We're going to make it more special. Bigger. And you're all invited!

0:26:160:26:23

Come on, everybody, you heard the man. Let's have a big Queen Vic congratulations to my best mate.

0:26:250:26:31

Ian and Mandy!

0:26:310:26:33

-MUSIC PLAYS

-Alfie!

-Come on, it's a classic!

0:26:350:26:38

Come on, the food's on it's way out. Drinks are on the house.

0:26:380:26:42

And, Merry Christmas, everybody!

0:26:420:26:45

And once again congratulations to the future Mr and Mrs Beale!

0:26:450:26:49

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:490:26:51

-Not too bad, is it?

-No. It's not too bad.

0:26:540:26:58

< Oi, get a room, you two.

0:27:000:27:02

Tamwar?

0:27:290:27:30

Kamil.

0:27:400:27:41

Allah!

0:27:430:27:45

DOOR OPENS Tamwar?

0:27:450:27:49

-You look much more relaxed.

-Where's Kamil?

-He's safe.

0:27:540:27:58

-Where is he?

-With a friend.

0:27:580:28:00

I've just sent Tamwar off to pick up some dinner.

0:28:080:28:11

Quiet night's probably best for everyone.

0:28:110:28:13

What have you done with my son?

0:28:160:28:18

Relax, he's fine.

0:28:180:28:20

Everything's going to be fine.

0:28:200:28:25

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:480:28:52

Email [email protected]

0:28:520:28:56

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