03/02/2012 EastEnders

So, what's he see in her then?

Who?

Shirley.

I know what it is.

He's got some other little bird tucked away, ain't he? Eh, eh?

I dunno, do I?

Nah, he told you to say that.

Or maybe, maybe, right, maybe Shirley's the best he can manage.

So, why doesn't Ben want to go and visit his dad in prison?

-Who told you that?

-Is it cos he's scared?

That reminds me, I told him to meet me here.

When he shows up, tell him to come and find me.

-MUMBLES:

-Kids, they never look at a watch, can't believe it.

-She can't make you do something you don't want to.

-Sorry, who are we talking about now?

Shirley, she wants Ben to go and visit his dad in prison.

-Like she's my mum, or something.

-Morning!

-Ah, talking of mummies. Hello!

-Sorry?

Well, I was just practising for after the wedding.

Did you want to be "Mum" or "Mummy"?

-SHE LAUGHS

-No, no, Mandy will do just fine, thanks.

I mean, I must've had about 15 missed calls from her last night.

I had to block her number in the end.

Why don't she take "No" for an answer, Ian?

Because she's desperate, maybe?

What?

-We're talking about Shirley.

-Oh.

-Erm, Ian.

-Mmm?

-I need your help.

What do you think? Black or red?

I can't decide.

That's like asking a man dying of thirst if he wants lager or bitter.

-Well, you have to choose.

-Red.

Stockings or...? No, silly question. See you later.

See ya.

It's all right, she was only messing.

-Look, if that's Shirl, I don't want to talk to her.

-It's all right. Leave it, leave it, OK?

-I want to talk to Ben.

-Shirley, now is not a good time.

-Why don't you shut your mouth. You. Get outside, now.

-No.

-You can't make him.

-I said shut your mouth.

-I'm not going anywhere.

Right, we'll have the conversation here then.

-Oh, for God's sake.

-There, wasn't hard, was it?

Yeah, well, look, after this you leave me alone, all right?

Give your love to Phil, shall I?

You and me need to have a little chat as well.

Oh, for goodness sake!

I didn't even hear you come in.

What, were you too drunk to get up the stairs?

Now, I'm going to go and get a shower, I suggest you do the same.

I think a double espresso might go some way towards making it up to me.

HE GRUNTS

Go on then.

Now, listen, you be a good girl, yeah?

No more pinching and scratching?

Give us a kiss then?

All right, suit yourself.

-Good morning.

-Is it?

Whitney, can I have a word in my office, please?

You following me?

I just think, after yesterday, we need to talk.

-Oh, yeah? What about?

-Come on, look, for Amy's sake,

It don't have to turn into a row, does it?

So, what do you want, a truce?

We need to agree never to argue in front of Amy again, OK?

-In here.

-Morning!

Lucy, it's a question of manners.

What have I said?

All that business earlier on, "Mum or Mummy?"

-I've actually been trying really hard.

-I know you have, love.

Is it because of Jane? Are you missing her?

How about we have a bit of Dad and Lucy time?

I'll take you over the pub for lunch, we can have a proper chat

and we can sort all this out, OK? What do you say?

Who's going to run the chippy?

I think that's for me to worry about, isn't it?

Come on, you are more important, OK?

That's my girl.

He's your dad, he misses you, he wants to see you.

What's so hard to understand about that? What you doing that for?

Well, like this ain't got nothing to do with getting me to change my story.

Well, tough.

I've gotta go somewhere.

You know, your dad, he was right about you.

You're a coward.

Fats...

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Why? What's up?

Hey, hey, hey, sweetheart, what's happened?

I'm SO angry! I'm in trouble at work.

-Well, how come?

-I don't think they're going to want me back.

-Well, come here, come here, all right? Come on.

-SHE SOBS

Tell Fats all about it, sweetheart.

I thought you might want these. In case you wanted to reopen.

-If you're talking about your money, we ain't got it.

-No need.

-I've already got it.

-What?

Your debt has been repaid...

Slate wiped clean. That's why I thought you might need these.

-Are you taking the mickey?

-Anthony, I never take the mickey where money's concerned, mate.

Stay lucky.

No, hang on.

Oi, Derek!

-Places to go, people to see.

-But you can't just come here, and...

Ty! You tell him what you just told me.

You're off the hook, debt's been repaid.

How come?

You better ask your brother.

-Who? Michael?

-Assuming he can still talk!

-HE CHUCKLES

Did you put the coffee machine on?

Oh!

Oh, my God.

-She said what?

-Well, it's not Sophie's fault.

I mean, if a parent complains they have to investigate, it's just the rules.

-What complaint?

-Well, Roxy phoned Sophie last night, apparently.

-What?!

-Oi, I could lose my job over this.

-What a cheek!

-Yeah, and then check this, yeah.

I saw Roxy go into the gym with Jack, like old friends,

-and Whitney's getting hung out to dry.

-The gym you said, yeah?

Bianca, please don't do this.

You ain't going to fight your own battles, someone's got to fight them for you.

What did you go and tell her that for?

And what time do you call this?

Yeah, well, I couldn't find you, could I?

-I've been all over the place.

-Just about sums you up, young Benjamin.

A bit all over the place.

Want to be the tough guy but too scared to go and visit your dad in jail, yeah?

No, no, it's...

What are you so scared of...hmm?

Now you listen to me.

There's certain things a young lad has to face up to

if he's ever going to call himself a man, hmm?

Yeah?

One thing grassing up your dad...

it's quite another running away from the consequences. You get my drift?

-Yeah, and what's your point?

-My point?

Well, my point is, if you're going to shaft somebody, you shaft 'em properly.

You shaft someone and run away,

that's the kind of thing a little sneak does.

Is that what you are? A little sneak?

You want to make Shirley right?

Now, you pop out and get us both a coffee, eh?

And while you're at it, have a little think.

All right.

OK, so we're agreed, yeah?

If either of us is upset about anything,

-we just go through the lawyers from now on, yeah?

-Yeah, I guess.

OK, we let the courts decide?

Are we done?

-I actually want to talk to you about something else.

-Well, go on then.

I want to take Amy on holiday.

-What?!

-Not till this is over,

I just need a couple of days on my own with her.

Just mucking about on a beach, or something.

-Yeah, just the two of you, yeah?

-Yeah, why not?

Why don't you try and work that one out?

-Jack, please.

-No, all right? I don't trust you.

What am I going to do to her, exactly?

Right, let's just stick to what we agreed, let the lawyers deal with it.

-Get your brief, contact my brief, they'll sort it.

-Jack, it's a couple of days!

-What judge is going to say no to that?

-Rox, you can't have it both ways.

You let the lawyers deal with it.

-SHOUTS:

-Oi, you two!

Bianca, what do you want?

Whitney's been suspended from work, what you gotta say?

What you talking about?

You realise she could get the sack from her job because of you two?

-You know what, it's all her own fault.

-What?

She's sticking her nose in where it is not needed -

I wonder where she gets that from?

-Oi, where are you going?

-I'm going to call my brief!

-We ain't done yet.

-Bianca.

Just calm down, will ya?

You want to talk, fine, but you don't need to shout about it, do ya?

You telling me not to shout? That is unbelievable.

What were you thinking?

-Maybe we should get you to hospital.

-Nah, nah.

-He might have broken your ribs.

-Nah, nah, I'll be all right.

Debt's been paid now.

Twice.

-What was going through your head?

-What was going through YOUR head?

I was being nice.

Point taken but you undermined me, Janine. You went behind my back.

I was doing you and your brothers a favour.

How was I to know that you were going to volunteer for a kicking?

You interfered.

Yeah, and I shouldn't have. Wasted my money, didn't I?

Do you think Derek'll mind if I ask for it back?

Ouch! Gently, woman!

So come on.

Why did you do it?

Why would ANYBODY do it?

I've had it coming.

Sorry?

I've had it coming a long, long time.

So what are you trying to tell me? That you're some sort of a masochist?

Fell in love with you, didn't I?

You're weird.

I know, it's cool, innit?

It's what we like about one another.

I think we should put you in the bath

and put some clean clothes on you.

No, I feel good.

What are you thinking?

Michael, look at the state of you.

-The pain you're in.

-Yeah.

If my dad could see me now.

Oh, boy.

And I thought MY relationship with Daddy was screwed up.

Come back and kiss me.

Really gently.

Hurts.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Ouch.

-We're looking for Michael.

-Is he here?

Yeah, you'd better come in.

Morning, girls.

Look, I'll call the nursery, all right?

-Sort things out, calm them down, that make you happy?

-Thanks.

So, come on, what's all this about a brief?

Well, Roxy wants to take Amy on holiday.

You can't let her do that.

-I'm dealing with it, ain't I?

-You know what them Mitchells are like.

She'll take her to Portugal or wherever Grant is, and you'll never see her again.

Don't you think the thought's crossed my mind?

-Who's got Amy's passport?

-I dunno.

I think she has.

You better get it sorted, Jack. Sooner rather than later.

-How are YOU feeling?

-Why are you asking me, mate?

Think about it, Ty.

Why do you think he done it, eh?

Right, so, Michael's just going to get dressed

and then we're all going to go for a lunchtime drink.

In the Vic.

Where Derek will be.

Look, I'll only be an hour.

You live in the same house!

You can talk to her any time.

You don't have to take her for lunch.

She's feeling insecure and this is my way of sweetening her up.

For your sake.

Well, I just wish I'd been consulted, that's all.

-You know, I'd made plans.

-What plans?

Well...

..you did ask for the red.

I will be back, two o'clock on the dot.

Don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere!

-Are you going to have something to eat?

-No, I'm not hungry.

You know what you're doing, moping about? You're letting them win.

Why does everything have to be a war with you?

Because that's what the world's like, Whit.

So, you can stop sitting there feeling sorry for yourself

-DOORBELL RINGS

-and get out there and kick some butt!

-Oh! What do you want?

-Is Whitney in?

And he keeps going to me, "Not the face, not the face!"

Now, who does that remind you of, eh? David Wicks.

That's what he used to say.

It was like his, what do you call it? His catch phrase.

"Not the face!" These pretty boys, mate.

And you still done him over, even though you'd got the money back?

No, but he was offering it up, Jack. He WANTED me to do it.

Well, would've been cruel not to, wouldn't it?!

What? What? You've got something to say, say it.

Well, sometimes you go a little bit too far, Derek.

Well, better to go too far than nowhere at all, eh?

What was all that about this morning with the underwear?

-She was just having a laugh.

-It was gross.

You know, I used to think like that when I was your age, when I was 18.

I used to think that no-one over the age of 40 ever had sex.

Dad, please.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

It's perfectly natural, it's part of life and you don't stop having...

-just cos you've got a few grey hairs...

-# La-la-la-la-la... #

-Come on!

Whatever you get up to, I don't want to know about it, all right?

Ah, just you wait.

What do you mean?

-Wait till you get to my age.

-I will NEVER reach your age.

Somewhere around the age of 27 I'm just going to stop and stay there.

A lot of women thought that -

that's why we've got the likes of Shirley in this world.

-Now, come on, what you having?

-What's most expensive?

That's the sort of thing your mother used to say.

The older you get the more you remind me of her.

-Is that a good or bad thing?

-Good thing.

Right, well, I'm meeting Lauren at two, so I can't stay long.

Yeah, I know, I've got somewhere to be this afternoon as well.

Since when have they done steak?

Since they got a new chef.

-Right, steak it is then. Rare.

-PHONE BEEPS

Right, two steaks coming up.

Sorry, just a bit of business.

So there I am, right, staring down both barrels of a sawn-off shotgun

when all of a sudden me phone goes off!

Now this is 1987, right,

no-one's even heard of a mobile phone in them days.

I'm the only man I know who's got one

and I've only got one cos it's been knocked off, right.

So, I'm thinking to myself, "Who the hell is this?", right.

The geezer started to get all jumpy.

Anyway, I said to him, "Excuse me, mate, d'you mind if I get this?"

So, he's looking at me all suspicious, he said, "Go on then."

So, I fish out this great big brick of a thing, right,

they used to be huge in them days,

I'm trying to work out which button to press.

Turns out it's only the old bill! "Can I come in for questioning?"

I said, "I'd love to but it's a bit difficult at the moment!"

THEY LAUGH

Tracey, round of drinks here, please. Same again all round.

So, what happened to the bloke with the shotgun, then?

Well, I handed him the phone and said, "It's for you."

THEY LAUGH

What you having, boys? Lagers?

-Janine?

-Oh, vodka and tonic for me, please.

Fine, just the tonic.

What about you, Derek? What are you having?

-I'm fine, thank you, Michael.

-Are you? I'm fine an' all.

-So come on then, back to the story.

-Not now, son.

So, after speaking to my supervisor and given that you're only a trainee

and along with the representations of Mr Branning...

Sorry? What representations?

I got a call from him

-and he's keen that we don't take this any further.

-That was down to me,

I went to see him and that.

I should have spelt out the rules of confidentiality more clearly.

-Does that mean I get to keep my job then?

-Yes, you do.

-Thank you so much.

-Sorry you've had to go through all this.

Actually...

What?

All this stuff has made me wonder.

-I don't think I'm cut out for this nursery business.

-What?!

Whitney, you have the potential to be a wonderful nursery nurse.

Don't let an episode like this shake your confidence.

No, I mean, maybe work with older people. Teenagers, you know.

Don't make any hasty decisions.

You've been doing this a matter of months.

Give it one more chance

and, if you want to still work with older children,

you could volunteer at a youth club, or something

and that way you could make a better decision.

-Yeah, OK. Thanks.

-OK.

Have you got any other questions?

No.

OK, well I shall see you next week then.

-OK.

-Thanks a lot, Soph. We really appreciate it.

Well, I'm just glad we could sort this out. Bye, Whitney.

-Thanks, Sophie.

-See you later, Soph.

-Bye.

Where you going?

I'm going to tell Fats. Who'd have thought it, eh?

What's brought this about?

-Well, not because of you, if that's what you're thinking.

-So, why?

Cos I want to.

-Only I want to go alone.

-Well, you can't.

They won't let you in, you're too young.

So, whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me.

-Me and Ty will get these ones. Same again?

-No, no, no, no.

Mission accomplished.

Yeah, no, I think I'm going to take him home and mop his fevered brow.

-See you later then.

-Oh, yeah.

-Nice doing business with you.

-MOUTHS:

-Not the face!

When you're pretty you want to keep it that way.

-Michael...

-You wouldn't understand.

-Are you mad? Back off, will ya?

Nice to know who your mates are, Jack.

So, shall we tell Dad?

Why would we do that?

Well, don't you think that's why he's done it?

So Dad would find out and forgive him? What about you?

You forgiven him?

-You're not answering the question, Ty.

-I guess.

-Trace, another two beers please, darling.

-Yeah, sure.

You go ahead, I just want to have a word with Foxy Roxy.

-All right?

-Yeah?

-How you doing?

-All right.

-You and Jack.

-Yeah, what about him?

How's it going?

-Not good. Why?

-Yeah, same as me.

-We should keep in touch. You still got my number, ain't you?

-Yeah.

Yeah, cool. Looking good.

-What was all that about?

-Just planting seeds.

-Are we going to have another drink?

-One's enough for lunchtime.

-And besides, you were meeting Lauren.

-She's not going anywhere.

Yeah, well, I am.

Like I said, I've got a business meeting. I'll settle up.

Trace?

Well, Fats is in the chair and the chair is big enough for two.

-That is assuming...

-What?

That we are two.

Course we are.

Yeah? All right, good times. All right, what you having?

-White wine soda.

-OK, I'm on this thing.

-Just don't rise to it, all right.

-You going back to work?

Yeah, in a minute. Why?

-Cos I'm not.

-What?

-Mind if I join you?

-No, it's fine.

I'm Tyler...

-Right, I'm off.

-Well, actually, I've decided not to meet Lauren after all.

I'm going to go home and do stuff for college. Thanks for lunch.

Luce, no! Hold on, darling.

Lucy! Lucy, what do you think you're doing?

What's the problem, Dad? I thought you had a business meeting?

But you can't let Lauren down like this. It's not polite, is it?

She'll get over it.

Why are the curtains closed in the middle of the day?

Lucy, please don't...

Sorry.

It's all right, Dad explained about everything.

It's sweet.

I'll be upstairs on my laptop.

I'll put my headphones in, just pretend I'm not here.

Any suggestion that anything untoward is being discussed

and I will bring the visit to a immediate conclusion.

Is that clear?

Good.

Well, that puts the mockers on things for you two then.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, that's the only reason I'm here, innit? So Dad can lean on me.

He wants to see you cos you're his son.

Last thing I heard I was anything but.

All right?

Yeah, I am actually.

You know, I'm better than all right. I'm absolutely fine.

-So, you going to do this, then?

-What?

-The whole youth club worker thing.

-Yeah, probably.

-Yeah?

-All right, so how are you at the old table football?

-What?

When I used to go youth centre, that's all they ever used to do is play table football and pool.

-You ever played pool?

-Once or twice.

-Yeah? You any good?

-Not really.

Nah, you can't be no youth club worker without knowing how to play pool!

You know what, Fats is going to have to teach you, all right?

It'll be like that film, you know with Paul Newman?

What was it called? It was a great film, man!

It was called...The Hustler, you ever seen it?

Whit?

-Sorry, what?

-The Hustler.

No, what's it about?

Nah. You know what, are we going to have another one?

-You know, to celebrate?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-OK.

So...what are the screws like in this place?

-Hark at him.

-The best thing I ever did was those five months inside.

-Ben...

-What?

You can drop the act.

I learned a hell of a lot more in there than I ever did from you.

-Listen, I don't want to fight with you, all right?

-No, I bet you don't.

-I'm not saying that I did everything right by you.

-I love it.

Would you shut up, now. He's trying to talk to you!

-Why? What are you going to do?

-You arrogant little pig.

Listen, let's just stay civilised, yeah?

Now, I'm owning up here, all right?

I'm saying that I made some mistakes.

But it's not too late to put things right.

I can't do it alone, it's gotta come from you an' all.

Excuse me?

I think he's trying to talk to me about the case.

-Would you shut up!

-They're trying to lean on me, both of them.

Pack it in.

You had enough? You want to go?

-No, it's all right, I can handle 'em.

-I've got an ear out.

What is your problem?

I ain't got a problem.

I might have had a problem once upon a time...but not now.

I'm good.

You cocky little git.

Oh, look, it's all coming out now.

What are you going to do?

What, have a pop at me? Go on...

see how far you get.

Forget about the case, all right? Forget about everything.

-Forget I'm a poof?

-FORGET everything.

Yeah, well that's easier said than done, innit?

Cos I'm never going to forget

and do you know what? I don't even want to forget.

I'm going to remember every single thing.

And once you go down...you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to do a little dance.

D'you remember the Ben that used to dance?

Well, he's still in there.

You can't do anything to me now. Look at you.

You're like a pit bull with no teeth.

Stuck in a cage going nowhere for years and years until you die.

And when you do, I'm going to dance all over your grave.

So...what do you reckon then, Dad?

You proud of me?

Am I enough of a Mitchell for you now?

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