30/03/2012 EastEnders


30/03/2012

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Transcript


LineFromTo

You left these on the counter.

0:00:320:00:35

Dot'll kill me, you know!

0:00:360:00:38

What's that?

0:00:380:00:41

Oh, nothing.

0:00:410:00:42

Just a few words I was going to read at Heather's wedding.

0:00:420:00:46

Oh. Your father of the bride speech.

0:00:460:00:49

Yeah. Poor girl, I mean...

0:00:490:00:53

she will never get to hear it.

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Nobody will.

0:00:560:00:57

Well, read it to me.

0:00:570:01:00

No, no, no...I can't.

0:01:020:01:04

Come on. Zainab, she can spare me for half-an-hour.

0:01:040:01:07

I'll grab my coat, yeah?

0:01:070:01:09

My Andrew won't touch a sausage without a dollop of brown sauce.

0:01:110:01:15

Where's it gone?

0:01:150:01:17

Maybe the local police mislaid it when they was ransacking me abode.

0:01:170:01:21

-They shouldn't have done that.

-There's some tea in the pot.

0:01:210:01:25

I'm all right, thanks.

0:01:250:01:26

I'm making you a full English.

0:01:260:01:29

-I ain't hungry.

-But you've been imprisoned.

0:01:290:01:31

You've had a traumatic experience.

0:01:310:01:33

It was Walford nick, not Alcatraz.

0:01:330:01:36

Yeah, well, whatever. At least now everyone knows he's innocent.

0:01:360:01:42

Don't they?

0:01:420:01:43

Well, the police know what they're doing.

0:01:440:01:47

I never done it. You...

0:01:470:01:49

You do know that, don't you?

0:01:490:01:52

You can't think I killed Heather?

0:01:520:01:54

That poor girl, she's laid in the mortuary.

0:01:540:01:56

I don't know what to think!

0:01:560:01:58

I see...

0:01:580:02:00

Tell him you believe him.

0:02:000:02:02

Mum, don't. I should go.

0:02:020:02:04

-Andrew!

-I can't stay here. I can't stay here.

0:02:040:02:07

If he's going, I'm going too!

0:02:070:02:10

There must be something we can do.

0:02:100:02:12

-They can't let scum like that walk the streets.

-I told you, Andrew will get what's coming to him.

0:02:120:02:16

Just... Just more cards, that's all.

0:02:160:02:19

-Coming to the cafe, yeah?

-Yeah.

0:02:190:02:20

-Is he still not sleeping?

-Well, not really.

0:02:200:02:24

Look, Shirl, maybe...maybe this ain't the right place for him.

0:02:240:02:27

He just needs a new bed.

0:02:270:02:29

The least we can do is give him somewhere half-decent to sleep.

0:02:290:02:32

Go get him one of them racing car beds, a red one with wheels on.

0:02:320:02:36

You'd like that wouldn't you, George?

0:02:360:02:38

Social services ain't going to let you keep him. He's got a dad.

0:02:380:02:41

Yeah, and I've told you, he's got me.

0:02:410:02:44

Do you know what? I don't think this place has had a proper clean since Shirley's had it.

0:02:460:02:50

There's just months of accumulated grease just festering in that equipment.

0:02:500:02:54

Er, you know what, Ian, let's forget about the bacon sandwich.

0:02:540:02:57

-I'll just go with the tea.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

0:02:570:02:59

What time did you crawl out of bed this morning?

0:03:010:03:03

It was early.

0:03:030:03:05

Well, I had plans.

0:03:050:03:06

Yeah, well, I've got work.

0:03:060:03:08

Get off on being the Mitchells' skivvy, do you?

0:03:080:03:11

I assume they're paying you?

0:03:110:03:13

Don't let 'em take advantage, Ian.

0:03:130:03:15

I'm thinking scotch eggs, yeah?

0:03:150:03:19

Or Snog, Marry, Avoid?

0:03:190:03:20

I don't mind, Mum.

0:03:200:03:22

I'll just do a few picky bits then, eh?

0:03:220:03:24

And a cake, of course. Come round about one-ish?

0:03:240:03:26

-That goes for you and all, Abs.

-I do have school.

0:03:260:03:29

And a lunch break. Give you girls time to get ready for R and R, innit?

0:03:290:03:33

Good idea to line the stomach.

0:03:330:03:35

Oh, my little baby. Happy birthday!

0:03:350:03:38

-Give them whatever they want. I'll settle up later. See you.

-See ya.

0:03:380:03:42

You know, as far as fake IDs go, this is pretty good.

0:03:430:03:46

So it'd be a shame to waste it...

0:03:460:03:48

Hey, Abi?

0:03:500:03:51

Er, no. She stole my room.

0:03:510:03:53

You ready, yeah? You in the zone?

0:03:530:03:55

-Let's just get it over and done with.

-All right, come on.

0:03:550:03:57

We've practised this, man. Get in the zone. All right, you ready?

0:03:570:04:00

What is going on?!

0:04:000:04:02

Yo, yo.

0:04:020:04:03

All right, here we go.

0:04:030:04:05

(RAPS) Here we go. Here we go. Hey, Lauren, luscious, it's your birthday today.

0:04:050:04:08

You're 18, and you can melt eas-ay.

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You can do what you want, style your hair frizz-ay, get down and dance,

0:04:110:04:14

get a little dizzy.

0:04:140:04:16

Yo, Tamwar. Yo, yo.

0:04:160:04:18

-Yo, Tamwar.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:04:180:04:20

-You're name is Lauren.

-Lauren.

-And it rhymes with sporran.

-Sporran.

0:04:200:04:23

-And Sven Goran.

-Goran.

-Eriksson...

0:04:230:04:25

which is difficult to incorporate into a rap.

0:04:250:04:27

Bruv, we practised this. Happy Birthday, Lauren.

0:04:270:04:30

-Happy Birthday, darling.

-Thank you.

0:04:300:04:32

I told them it's not a flash mob with two people.

0:04:320:04:35

It's just ritual humiliation.

0:04:350:04:38

I don't get what the big deal is. It's from Ritchie.

0:04:380:04:40

Well, just open it then.

0:04:400:04:42

Have you heard? The police let Andrew out! It's disgusting.

0:04:420:04:44

I know. I can't believe it either.

0:04:440:04:46

And he's staying at Grandma Dot's.

0:04:460:04:48

-Ta-ra. Oh, Abs. Um...

-I've got to go.

0:04:500:04:54

-Who's fault's that, eh?

-Just open the letter.

0:04:540:04:57

Gerbera.

0:05:120:05:13

Gerbera Jamesonii.

0:05:130:05:16

I was going to put them on Heather's shrine.

0:05:180:05:21

Pink was her favourite colour.

0:05:210:05:24

Well, that's good then.

0:05:240:05:26

If there's anything I can do...

0:05:270:05:29

No-one can do nothing.

0:05:290:05:30

Unless you can bring her back.

0:05:310:05:33

He'll find out. Ritchie tells him everything.

0:05:380:05:40

It ain't got nothing to do with him. It's my name on the letter.

0:05:400:05:43

-You're just going to make things worse.

-How much worse can things get?

0:05:430:05:46

That poor, poor man.

0:05:550:05:57

No. Poor, poor Heather. You see, it just goes to show, you can't trust a man, can you?

0:05:570:06:01

HE COUGHS

0:06:010:06:02

Present company excepted, thank you.

0:06:020:06:04

Alfie, am I still events manager?

0:06:060:06:09

Yes, course you are. It's your official title, isn't it?

0:06:090:06:13

Jean Slater...

0:06:130:06:14

Event-a-lator!

0:06:140:06:16

THEY CHUCKLE

0:06:160:06:17

And do you trust me...

0:06:190:06:20

If I had an idea?

0:06:200:06:21

Yeah, yeah. Course, yeah.

0:06:220:06:24

I've got one.

0:06:240:06:26

-An idea.

-Wow. OK.

0:06:260:06:28

The Queen Vic pays tribute to Heather Trott.

0:06:280:06:30

When I walked you down that aisle...

0:06:330:06:36

arm in arm...

0:06:360:06:38

you made me the proudest man...

0:06:380:06:41

in Walford.

0:06:410:06:43

It's OK.

0:06:450:06:47

Just so you know...

0:06:500:06:52

..I wouldn't be giving you away to just anyone.

0:06:530:06:55

I know Andrew will look after you

0:06:580:07:00

and make you and George happy

0:07:000:07:03

-and he'll have me to answer to if he doesn't.

-Look, I think

0:07:030:07:06

-you should be getting back to the shop.

-Do you know what?

0:07:060:07:09

Why don't you just get away?

0:07:090:07:11

You could call Anthony. It would do you some good to spend some time with your son.

0:07:110:07:15

No, no, no, I'm all right, OK?

0:07:150:07:17

Maybe it'd be better if you weren't around right now.

0:07:200:07:24

Now that Phil Mitchell's back?

0:07:240:07:26

You're still getting over Pat and...

0:07:260:07:29

now Heather.

0:07:290:07:30

Well, Phil's not going to be doing anything.

0:07:310:07:34

Not even he's that stupid. Look, just promise me you'll call him?

0:07:340:07:39

It smells like someone's died, Tyler.

0:07:420:07:44

-I can't smell nothing!

-What is it then?

-Rats.

0:07:440:07:47

Or as I like to think of 'em, hamsters with attitude.

0:07:470:07:50

-Rats!

-Look on the bright side, least they're dead.

0:07:500:07:53

-How do you know?

-Cos I put poison down, didn't I? All right?

0:07:530:07:56

This ain't just a pretty face.

0:07:560:07:57

Something just moved.

0:07:590:08:01

What are you...?! They're dead, you muppet!

0:08:050:08:08

What are those muppets doing up there? Didn't you hear that?

0:08:080:08:12

Oi. Accounts.

0:08:120:08:14

Make a start on 'em.

0:08:140:08:16

Please would be nice.

0:08:160:08:17

You're the one with the mathematical brain, Michael.

0:08:170:08:20

Cloth ears, you telling me you can't hear this?!

0:08:200:08:22

What you done now?

0:08:220:08:23

Cos it's really me, Jack, cos I'm in league with the National Grid(!)

0:08:230:08:27

Give me the torch, will you?

0:08:270:08:29

So it starts at two o'clock...

0:08:330:08:36

and it's to remember Heather...

0:08:360:08:40

with joy and to raise money for her funeral.

0:08:400:08:43

And, well, I wondered if you'd like to be guest of honour.

0:08:430:08:50

Guest of honour?

0:08:500:08:52

Yeah, that's right.

0:08:520:08:53

It's out of question.

0:08:530:08:55

Oh.

0:08:560:08:58

Oh...I know how close you both were.

0:08:580:09:02

Well...

0:09:040:09:05

..just in case you change your mind.

0:09:070:09:10

I very much doubt it.

0:09:100:09:12

Give us one good reason then.

0:09:120:09:14

Well, you know I like to do my grieving in private, Patrick.

0:09:140:09:17

Shame. Heather enjoyed a good night out.

0:09:170:09:21

Besides, my best jacket is in...

0:09:210:09:23

It's in the launderette.

0:09:230:09:25

Then, um, maybe we can go and get it...

0:09:260:09:29

together.

0:09:290:09:31

It's time.

0:09:310:09:33

Ben OK?

0:09:370:09:38

Yeah. Why?

0:09:380:09:40

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were mates. I must have been mistaken.

0:09:400:09:43

This looks like it could be a right laugh.

0:09:430:09:47

Don't tell me...

0:09:470:09:49

you're spending quality time with your deep fat fryer.

0:09:490:09:52

Come on, Ian, we haven't been out for ages!

0:09:520:09:56

Look, it's '80s.

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Got to be right up your street.

0:09:580:10:00

Yeah, maybe I should show my face, shouldn't I?

0:10:000:10:02

Great. Right, I'm going to go and get my outfit sorted then.

0:10:020:10:05

Bananarama, eat your heart out.

0:10:050:10:07

Ignore 'em.

0:10:200:10:22

(SHOUTS) He's not done anything to be ashamed of!

0:10:220:10:24

-Mum, please, you're making it worse.

-Well, how can it be my fault?!

0:10:240:10:28

Andrew!

0:10:280:10:29

Just leave me alone.

0:10:290:10:31

Is it me...

0:10:360:10:37

or is this shrine in front of the launderette thing...

0:10:370:10:39

It's a bit creepy.

0:10:390:10:41

Er, Phil wants to see you.

0:10:430:10:44

Ph...Phil Mitchell?

0:10:450:10:47

Wants to see me?

0:10:470:10:49

What have you done?

0:10:490:10:52

-Did you break it?

-No, I've fixed it!

0:10:550:10:57

-Problem?

-No. No problem.

0:11:000:11:02

-Your electrics playing up?

-No. Why?

-Well, ours are on the blink.

0:11:030:11:07

That's what happens when you don't pay your bills, innit.

0:11:070:11:09

That's funny, innit?

0:11:090:11:11

Little bit strange though, the gym being so close to this place.

0:11:110:11:14

-What was all that banging?

-Never heard no banging.

-Me neither.

0:11:140:11:18

-No, nothing.

-Oi!

0:11:180:11:19

Where you going?

0:11:190:11:21

To my other office. Let me know when the power's back on, yeah?

0:11:210:11:24

Jay said there was something you wanted to discuss, Mr Mitchell?

0:11:290:11:32

Yeah.

0:11:320:11:33

Darren, he's a mate of yours, right?

0:11:340:11:37

Yeah. Well, technically, I'm HIS wingman.

0:11:370:11:39

Well, tell him to come back here and get his son.

0:11:390:11:42

KNOCKING AT DOOR

0:11:420:11:44

Yeah?

0:11:440:11:47

-Mr Mitchell, just asking if you know where little George is?

-Get out of here.

0:11:470:11:51

-Have they taken him into care?

-The pair of you, get out of here now! Out!

0:11:510:11:54

Oi.

0:11:540:11:56

Well, I dunno how you can live under the same roof as him. It's not safe.

0:12:030:12:06

Don't worry about me. I can take care myself.

0:12:060:12:09

After what he did to Heather?

0:12:090:12:11

Calm down, he's moving out.

0:12:110:12:14

Cheers. What time did Lauren say she was turning up? I've got to be at a car auction in an hour.

0:12:150:12:19

Why don't you go down the Vic cos that's where she'll be, isn't it?

0:12:190:12:23

Nobody likes a grass, sweetheart.

0:12:230:12:25

-I'd rather be a grass than a drunk.

-Oi! Don't start.

0:12:250:12:28

Drinks on her birthday ain't going to hurt.

0:12:280:12:32

Yeah, sure. OK. OK.

0:12:470:12:50

Oh! Bianca promised me that she'd look after the place.

0:13:060:13:09

I mean, woe betide if Mr Opodopo... you know, finds out.

0:13:090:13:13

I can't believe I'll never see her again.

0:13:130:13:16

Look at them table cloths from the Argee Bhajee. I told her to put them through twice.

0:13:160:13:20

You never saw such stains!

0:13:240:13:25

They say these things go in threes.

0:13:350:13:38

Dr Khan...

0:13:380:13:39

Pat...

0:13:410:13:42

..and now Heather.

0:13:430:13:45

Maybe we shall get a little peace for a while.

0:13:450:13:48

No.

0:13:480:13:49

No, Dot. I don't think I'll ever get peace around here, you know.

0:13:490:13:55

That is why I'm going to stay with Anthony for a while.

0:13:550:13:57

Oh. How nice. He's a lovely doctor. Give him my regards.

0:13:570:14:01

Does that mean that you'll be giving me notice?

0:14:030:14:07

I'm sorry.

0:14:070:14:08

When was you thinking of vacating your room?

0:14:080:14:11

Today.

0:14:110:14:13

But...

0:14:130:14:15

..you'll miss her funeral.

0:14:170:14:19

I, um, I just don't think I have the strength to say another goodbye.

0:14:190:14:25

I heard he strangled her. Half the mums at the nursery didn't want to leave their kids there.

0:14:480:14:52

Don't worry, babe, no-one's going to touch you, all right? Except me.

0:14:520:14:55

Oi, Grandad! Are you really going to go through with this?

0:14:550:14:58

-Shirley is going to flip. It's morbid!

-Don't worry!

0:14:580:15:00

The Moonster has a plan, all right?

0:15:000:15:02

Who's genius idea was that?

0:15:020:15:05

Brilliant. Brilliant, innit? That's just what Walford needs -

0:15:060:15:09

-something to vent its communal grief. Well done, Jean.

-Yeah, you reckon, do you?

0:15:090:15:13

Sadly we're going to have to cancel karaoke,

0:15:130:15:16

-cos the machine's packed up,

-What?

-Yeah, sorry, darling.

0:15:160:15:18

This is your lucky day, Jean. I know a geezer, knows a geezer,

0:15:180:15:21

who knows a geezer. He'll sort you out.

0:15:210:15:23

You'd do that? Just for me?

0:15:230:15:25

No. No, for Heather.

0:15:250:15:27

Oh, yeah.

0:15:270:15:28

Step into my office.

0:15:280:15:30

Yeah, all right. Wait for me. Hold on, hold on. Sorry, darling.

0:15:300:15:33

Yeah.

0:15:330:15:34

CREAKING

0:15:450:15:46

Cora, is that you?

0:15:460:15:50

So, it's any song from the list!

0:16:050:16:08

And then you just write down your name and the song title.

0:16:080:16:11

Right, I'd better get to this birthday thing cos my mum's going to kill me.

0:16:150:16:19

I'm sorry, have you, like, forgotten it's the biggest day of your life,

0:16:190:16:23

and you're going to, what, run out on us for a date with a mini-quiche?

0:16:230:16:27

All right, well, if you put it like that...

0:16:270:16:29

So, you and Mitchell? Talk to me, bruv.

0:16:290:16:31

Did he want to do business with you or what?

0:16:310:16:33

Not exactly, no.

0:16:330:16:35

So wagwan, bruv? You know, how did it go down?

0:16:350:16:36

Go down? You know...it went down.

0:16:360:16:39

We talked in his office.

0:16:390:16:40

He thinks he's going to kill him.

0:16:400:16:43

Ooh, incoming Branning.

0:16:470:16:49

Happy Birthday, Lauren.

0:16:490:16:51

-Thank you.

-Did you get your electrics sorted?

-No.

0:16:510:16:54

But if it's got anything to do with you two banging about in your junk shop, you'll pay, all right?

0:16:540:16:59

Cos I'm losing business.

0:16:590:17:01

-We didn't do nothing.

-We're on a different phase to you.

-You what?

0:17:010:17:04

Our Emporium's got nothing to do with your supply.

0:17:040:17:06

And you have got your RCDs connected to your circuit breaks, yeah?

0:17:060:17:10

-Yeah, yeah. Course I have.

-Good.

0:17:100:17:13

-Was that for real?

-Maybe, maybe not.

0:17:130:17:17

-Here he is, I knew he'd turn up!

-It's my era!

-You're not going to start body-popping, are you?

0:17:170:17:21

-Not unless you ask him really nicely.

-No, you're all right!

-Bit of cheesy music, eh?

0:17:210:17:25

Shoulder pads. What more could a girl want?

0:17:250:17:27

We are going to have a good time tonight, whether you like it or not.

0:17:270:17:31

-Hey, Mandy, you work that outfit, baby!

-Oh, thank you, darling.

0:17:310:17:34

You work it!

0:17:340:17:36

Surely there must be a law against that outfit.

0:17:360:17:38

And, if not, why not?

0:17:380:17:40

Lauren, what are you doing?

0:17:420:17:43

You're spending all the cash. We're meant go over to the club.

0:17:430:17:46

Lauren, listen, just take it easy, yeah?

0:17:460:17:49

Uncle Jack, always so caring(!)

0:17:490:17:52

No, listen, I don't suppose you could lend us a few quid.

0:17:520:17:56

You suppose right, don't you?

0:17:560:17:58

See, and that's why you'll always be the tightest Branning brother.

0:17:580:18:01

Don't look at me.

0:18:030:18:04

Oh! Well, I forgot -

0:18:040:18:06

Janine's the one with all the money anyway, ain't she?

0:18:060:18:09

Look what I found?

0:18:090:18:10

Oh, yes. See, look...

0:18:100:18:13

we don't even need your money.

0:18:130:18:14

Roxy, can we have two double vodkas please.

0:18:140:18:17

-Yeah.

-Lauren...

-What?

0:18:170:18:19

I am 18. I do not need your permission, Uncle Jack.

0:18:190:18:22

Just like I do not need this - my fake ID. I don't need it.

0:18:220:18:26

-All right?

-All right.

0:18:260:18:28

-Thank you.

-Roxy, please, can I have a drink, please? Come on.

0:18:280:18:31

Don't even think about it.

0:18:310:18:34

Nan!

0:18:350:18:37

You're mother's pulled out all the stops.

0:18:370:18:40

Her vol-au-vents are on the turn.

0:18:400:18:42

I think it's time you made a quick exit.

0:18:420:18:45

-Lauren...

-Shut it, Blondie.

0:18:450:18:48

Nan! She is my mate, you know!

0:18:480:18:49

Yeah, I know. And your mum's had cancer.

0:18:510:18:55

She's only just got her life back.

0:18:550:18:57

Yeah, well...

0:18:570:18:59

Nan, I can't just leave 'em!

0:18:590:19:02

That's the downside of growing up, darling.

0:19:020:19:05

Choices. Too many of them.

0:19:050:19:08

You're never sure which is the right one.

0:19:080:19:11

Let me give you a little clue, yeah?

0:19:110:19:14

It starts with that door.

0:19:140:19:17

One lousy thing I ask you to do. Just get the bed.

0:19:210:19:24

I'll get it tomorrow. Where are you going?

0:19:240:19:26

To get George his dinner.

0:19:260:19:27

Don't suppose you thought about that either?

0:19:270:19:31

-Forget that. Phil said we're not meant to talk to anyone.

-It's not about Heather.

0:19:330:19:37

Look, if I talk to the CPS about Stella, right,

0:19:370:19:40

say that she abused me, they might drop the charges, Jay.

0:19:400:19:44

If you tell them you're screwed up,

0:19:440:19:46

they're going to think you're a nutter.

0:19:460:19:48

They're going to start wondering what else you might have done.

0:19:480:19:51

Have a look at that.

0:19:530:19:54

I was going to tell you.

0:19:540:19:55

It's from Ritchie.

0:19:550:19:57

I've got to have a psychiatric interview.

0:19:570:19:59

It might help with my case

0:19:590:20:01

and get me off the hook about lying to the police.

0:20:010:20:03

You don't need a psychiatrist.

0:20:030:20:05

D'you reckon?

0:20:050:20:07

Dad!

0:20:070:20:09

# Happy birthday to you...

0:20:140:20:16

# Happy birthday... #

0:20:160:20:17

How much have you had?

0:20:170:20:18

-Um...

-Why did you bother turning up, Lauren?

0:20:180:20:21

Blame the Wicked Nan of the West.

0:20:210:20:24

So, um, where's this...

0:20:250:20:28

Where's this brilliant cake, then?

0:20:280:20:30

Oh!

0:20:330:20:35

You had more sense when you were that age, you know that?

0:20:390:20:42

SHE RETCHES

0:20:440:20:46

Lauren!

0:20:460:20:48

Oh!

0:20:590:21:01

-The Banned.

-Yeah, you said. What was it called?

0:21:010:21:04

No, that's what it was called - Banned. B-A-N-N-E-D.

0:21:040:21:07

Inspired.

0:21:070:21:09

Yeah, it was like a new romantic/pop hybrid.

0:21:090:21:12

If I remember, it sounded more like caterwauling.

0:21:120:21:16

-Dorothy, good to see you, sweetheart. What can I get you?

-Well, I know I shouldn't really.

0:21:160:21:19

-But I'll have a small sweet sherry.

-All right, darling.

0:21:190:21:22

I mean, this isn't really, you know, my sort of to-do,

0:21:220:21:25

but I'm here for Heather.

0:21:250:21:28

Seeing as I am, you know, in loco parentis, as it were.

0:21:280:21:33

Of course he did it.

0:21:330:21:34

-He's got the look.

-What you talking about? What look?

0:21:340:21:37

Murderer look.

0:21:370:21:38

Andrew Cotton is grieving for the love of his life.

0:21:380:21:41

He's lost in a endless sea of whirling emptiness.

0:21:420:21:46

Innocent until proven guilty.

0:21:470:21:50

Isn't that right, Mrs Branning?

0:21:500:21:53

I went through all this 20 years ago with her mother.

0:21:560:21:58

Yeah, thanks, Mum. Do you want to go and check on Oscar?

0:21:580:22:02

I never meant for this to happen...

0:22:020:22:04

-Yeah, well, it's a bit late for all that, ain't it?

-Oh, Max, stop it!

0:22:040:22:08

-She's said she's sorry.

-She's got to take responsibility. She's 18.

-Yeah. What if I can't?

0:22:080:22:12

-What?

-Be in control, have everything sorted.

0:22:120:22:15

Oh, you're right, Dad, I'm a mess!

0:22:150:22:18

No. No, you're not. Now, you listen to me. Listen.

0:22:180:22:22

I couldn't have got through this past year without you.

0:22:220:22:25

You, Lauren, are one of the strongest people I know.

0:22:250:22:29

You can do anything. Anything.

0:22:290:22:31

I just wish things could be how they used to be.

0:22:330:22:36

Yeah, well, some things never change, do they, eh?

0:22:390:22:42

You will always be my beautiful baby girl.

0:22:420:22:45

No matter what.

0:22:450:22:47

I love you, Mum.

0:22:490:22:50

Yeah, I know.

0:22:500:22:51

# Please believe us... #

0:23:070:23:08

I'm telling you, everything was better in the '80s.

0:23:080:23:11

The clothing, the music... everything.

0:23:110:23:14

-Excuse me, you hadn't met me then!

-I was never happier.

0:23:140:23:17

How can you be rolling any deeper than the way you're rolling now?

0:23:170:23:20

MUSIC STOPS I was enjoying that!

0:23:200:23:22

-Who's idea was this?

-Shirley, it was mine.

0:23:220:23:26

I thought, you know, great for Hev.

0:23:260:23:28

Raise some money and just give her a good send-off, that's all.

0:23:280:23:31

-Rox, do you want to give Phil a call?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:23:330:23:36

Shirl, why don't you come upstairs with me?

0:23:360:23:38

You bunch of vultures.

0:23:380:23:39

You're dancing on her grave!

0:23:390:23:41

No, we ain't.

0:23:410:23:42

She ain't even in it yet. That T-shirt...

0:23:420:23:45

"Choose life" - is that supposed to be some kind of joke?!

0:23:450:23:48

I'm sorry.

0:23:480:23:50

Don't apologise, you've got nothing to be sorry for.

0:23:500:23:52

You always were a weaselly man.

0:23:520:23:54

-Don't talk to him like that.

-Mand, Mand, just leave it.

0:23:540:23:57

No. Look, we're just here trying... Trying to celebrate Heather's life.

0:23:570:24:00

Celebrate her life?!

0:24:000:24:02

You didn't even know her!

0:24:020:24:05

None of you did!

0:24:050:24:06

And what's this, eh?

0:24:060:24:08

Supposed to make you feel better about all the "Fat Hev" jokes?

0:24:080:24:11

Cos she knew.

0:24:110:24:13

She knew what you all thought of her.

0:24:130:24:15

Shirley, we're just paying our respects, that's all.

0:24:150:24:17

Yeah, with a little bit of music.

0:24:170:24:19

-You touch that thing and it'll be the last thing you do!

-Yeah?

0:24:190:24:22

Shirley, please, darling. Come on...

0:24:220:24:24

Stop this, please! We're here for our friend.

0:24:240:24:26

You're not her friend, Dot.

0:24:260:24:29

I thought you were...

0:24:290:24:30

What are you doing here, anyway? They're all laughing at her!

0:24:300:24:33

Don't come any closer.

0:24:330:24:35

I'm not frightened of you, Shirley Carter.

0:24:350:24:38

-Dot, let's get you home.

-No, she can scream like a banshee.

0:24:380:24:40

Something's got to be done, Jack. It ain't right.

0:24:400:24:43

Heather wouldn't want this.

0:24:430:24:45

Yeah, well said, Dot.

0:24:450:24:46

-You evil little cow!

-Oi, oi! Ian, do you want to get...

0:24:460:24:49

Ian, are you going to let her talk to me like that?!

0:24:490:24:52

You ain't the only one what loved her!

0:24:520:24:54

Have some dignity.

0:24:540:24:56

Yeah.

0:24:560:24:57

Heather would've hated this.

0:24:570:24:59

-You...

-I don't want no trouble, Shirley.

-Murderer!

0:24:590:25:03

-Shirl!

-I never did nothing!

0:25:030:25:06

See, I told you, didn't I?

0:25:060:25:07

I told you what he was like.

0:25:070:25:10

Is that what you did to Hev?

0:25:100:25:11

Cos she wouldn't stop talking?

0:25:110:25:14

Wouldn't stop playing her Club Tropicana records.

0:25:140:25:16

Wound you up, did it?!

0:25:160:25:18

Come on, let's go, mate.

0:25:180:25:20

-Come on, please...

-I loved her!

-Go. Go, go...

0:25:200:25:22

Come on. Cheers, Jack.

0:25:220:25:24

You killed her!

0:25:240:25:25

Do yourself a favour, all right? You disappear.

0:25:290:25:33

No. This is where Heather lived, I'm staying here.

0:25:330:25:36

And you can tell that lot in there as well.

0:25:360:25:39

I ain't going nowhere.

0:25:390:25:42

It's been an utter disaster.

0:25:460:25:48

No, no, no. You were good today, Jean.

0:25:480:25:50

You should be proud of yourself. It was nice.

0:25:500:25:53

Come here, Dot, let's get you home.

0:25:530:25:56

Jean... Look, it was Mandy's fault, she provoked her.

0:25:560:25:59

She shouldn't have done. I'm sorry.

0:25:590:26:01

It ain't entirely Mandy's fault, Ian.

0:26:010:26:03

My fault?

0:26:070:26:08

You're back?

0:26:080:26:10

Is that all you've got to say?

0:26:100:26:13

Oh, how about... congratulations on your performance.

0:26:130:26:16

I was sticking up for you.

0:26:160:26:18

What, so I could be the latest in a long line of blokes?

0:26:180:26:22

-Your mum told me what you're like.

-Lorraine?

0:26:220:26:24

You line 'em up, rip 'em off,

0:26:240:26:25

then run away with the engagement ring.

0:26:250:26:27

Oh, right. No, no, I get it.

0:26:270:26:29

This is what all that's about - you acting weird.

0:26:290:26:32

Ian, my mum is a lying, scheming, jealous, manipulative...

0:26:320:26:37

-Oh, what? Like mother like daughter?

-Ian...

0:26:370:26:40

Look, I'm no angel. We both know that.

0:26:400:26:42

I thought things were different this time.

0:26:420:26:45

How many times have you used that line?

0:26:450:26:47

Ian, mate, seriously. Come on, let'...

0:26:470:26:49

No, no, Alfie. It's OK.

0:26:490:26:50

You've made yourself perfectly clear.

0:26:500:26:54

And I ain't sticking around for this. Move.

0:26:540:26:56

Ian, what are you doing?

0:26:580:27:00

-You can't just let her go out like that.

-Probably just go back to her lap dancing club.

0:27:000:27:04

Yeah, serves you right if she did.

0:27:040:27:06

I thought you two were going to make a go of it?

0:27:060:27:08

You know what you are? You're a grade A prize pillock.

0:27:080:27:11

That girl was defending you, mate.

0:27:110:27:13

When was the last time anyone did that for you, eh?

0:27:130:27:16

Well done(!)

0:27:160:27:17

What, do you want me to kill him? Get banged up?

0:27:230:27:25

Is that it, yeah?

0:27:250:27:27

If that's what it takes, yeah. But you...

0:27:270:27:28

You couldn't even throw him out of your own pub!

0:27:280:27:31

You should've seen 'em all.

0:27:310:27:32

Singing and laughing like Hev was nothing, that she didn't matter to anyone.

0:27:320:27:36

Shirl, she does.

0:27:360:27:38

She does.

0:27:390:27:40

She mattered to me, anyway.

0:27:400:27:42

Mandy? I'm sorry, OK?

0:27:510:27:53

Look, you know I didn't mean it.

0:27:530:27:57

It was just banter and...

0:27:580:28:00

Look, just come back and I promise I'll make it up to you.

0:28:010:28:04

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