30/04/2012 EastEnders

DRILLING, WORKMEN'S VOICES

I didn't realise it was going to be this noisy!

They're builders, Denise.

-It's practically in their job description.

-Yeah.

-Along with not wearing a belt.

-Oh!

I don't know if anybody knows this

but underwear does not magically pick itself up off the bathroom floor.

Neither does it jump in the sink and give itself a little bath!

Well, here's a thought,

why don't you spend the cash you save not paying rent

-on a trip to the launderette?

-Are you suggesting I do your laundry?

You ain't a lot of use to us otherwise, are you?

OK, you know what? No.

Me and Amy don't need this. We're moving out.

-Soon as we find a place, we're gone.

-Good luck with that.

What? Think I won't find somewhere? I've got mates, you know...

OK. We're going, then. Fine.

Phil...

If that's what you want.

-Rox, don't be stupid...

-No, I'll see you around.

-I'll do the washing.

-See you around.

-Ben, tell her.

What, you just going to let her walk?

It's better just the three of us anyway.

-What, Ian couldn't afford to keep you in shoes?

-Ha!

< (Mandy!)

Mum?

-Always a shame when they don't respond.

-I know!

-Sometimes, we're just so wasted on this community.

-Yeah,

an oasis of good looks marooned in a sea of hideous cretins.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm sorry, Mand, I didn't mean to bother you, I really didn't.

Do you realise the trouble you have caused?

Sending Alex here, Mum - did you think that was a laugh?

-I think I'm dying.

-Yeah, course you are(!)

Now do one and leave us both in peace!

No, I mean it this time, I'm proper sick.

Funny that, what with your outdoorsy lifestyle!

Please, just let me in for a cuppa, yeah?

-BACK DOOR OPENS

-Mum, you gotta go. Go! Go!

All right? Um, no, no, something's come up, I need your help.

-I've gotta go work.

-Babe, it'll just take five minutes.

-Please?

-What? HE SIGHS

TV IS ON

Morgan!

-Gran!

-I know. Come on. You've got five minutes. School.

-Oh...

-You slept in your mum's bed last night? Why, darling?

It looked lonely.

Oh, come here.

It's OK, Tiff. I'm not going anywhere.

And Liam's only with Ricky for a few days.

-Is Dad coming back?

-He's busy with work at the moment, love,

but you can go and stay with him sometimes just like Liam.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Yes? ..Look, I've already told you, my daughter's in prison!

Can you stop phoning here?!

Yes, OK!

Thank you.

-Are we still in trouble?

-Are they going to take the TV?

-No, no!

It's just a misunderstanding! Now upstairs and brush your teeth.

Go on, that's it.

What?

You don't have to do this on your own, OK.

I know Bianca's gone and Pat, but...

Well, we're the only two adults left.

No, that's fine, Whit. No, no, I can manage, um...

Do you want peanut butter in your sandwiches, kids?

-Mand! Mandy...

-Get this off.

-Mandy, no. Stop it.

Oh... You wouldn't be complaining a couple of months ago!

Now's not a good time, all right?

Isn't that what the woman's supposed to say?

Ian! I just want to put this whole Alex thing behind us.

I haven't got feelings for him, I never have!

-It's fine. I don't know why we're still discussing it.

-Ian...

Um...

Go treat yourself, yeah?

-He's busy.

-Who's busy?

-Well, you can't meet me for lunch, apparently.

-Yes, I can.

-Ben wants us to do some work on the stock car, right?

Oh, right, well, if you're busy...

-No, it's all right. I can do that another day.

-No, you can't.

-Don't worry, I don't mind, really.

-See?

DOOR CLOSES Thanks for that(!)

What, you think I'm being tough? Until you've been inside,

you don't know the meaning of the word. We stick together, OK?

Do you know what time your workmen started drilling this morning?

I've got a most terrible migraine

and they leave litter strewn all over the streets.

And parts of their anatomy are on display,

which even their wives shouldn't have to endure.

I don't know, Dot, it might be a perk for some.

She's right about the noise, though. Me and the crack of dawn don't mix.

OK. I am sorry, and I will have a word.

-Right.

-Um, have you heard from Bianca at all?

She's in prison, she's hardly likely to be sending postcards!

I feel so terrible for her. Them poor kids,

not going to see their mother for six months. It's so sad.

-But stealing is never the answer, is it?

-Is if you don't get caught.

Your sins'll find you out. I mean, I feel terribly sorry for Bianca,

but I'm afraid I agree with Mrs Masmood.

Having a good gossip, are you?

Oh, no, Carol! We were just saying how bad we feel!

-IAN:

-You're late.

Have you got something to say?

-Carol!

-No, just a minute. Go on! Cos if you have, say it.

-Denise is right.

-Least have the guts to say it to her face.

OK. I happen to think that stealing is wrong, all right?

-So shoot me.

-Have you ever been on the poverty line, Zainab?

So hard up, you don't know how you'll feed your kids?

Don't start harassing my customers!

As a matter of fact, Carol, I have. When my Shabnam was a baby,

we were cooped up in a tiny little flat above a shop that we stayed at.

Teething all night, crying. Syed in the cot next to her,

coughing away, because of the damp in that place

and Masood holding down three jobs in order to make sure that we had some food on the table.

So everyone has had a hard time of it, all right? It doesn't excuse stealing from our own!

Carol, if you walk out on this job, you can kiss it goodbye.

-Guess I'll have to cut back on the designer shoes, then.

-Carol!

-Has Phil kicked you out?

-No, he's a sexist pig, so I walked.

-What took you so long?

-I hate flat hunting, I hate it.

You know, especially as this is the only place that's got

-anything I can afford.

-Yeah, desperate times.

-Here!

I knew I had something in your price range.

I want a proper written contract this time, do you hear me?

Oh, pipe down, Erin Brockovich.

All my contracts are legally checked.

Are you kidding me?

-What's wrong with it?

-You'd have to pay me to live there.

Oh...

Well, I'll take it.

GASPING: Oh, yeah? So what's the punchline?

There isn't one.

-You want me to be your best man?

-Yeah.

That role implies a certain element of affection.

You know, like a friendship.

Hey, hang on. We've known each other since we were kids. We're mates.

-Mates?

-Yeah, mates.

You see...mates are meant to be there for each other.

You know, if, I don't know, one of them has a custody battle, for example.

Yeah? And mates do not go behind your back

and set up illegal fights and this is the best one -

mates do not try it on with your wife!

You're coming at this from the wrong angle, Jack.

You're taking it personally. It's not against you, is it?

It's complicated.

-You know what I'm like, Jack.

-Which is why I'm saying no!

But look, I know I've done devious things in my time, Jack, but...

I've finally met someone that I adore. Isn't that proof, Jack?

Isn't that proof positive that I've changed?

Huh? I'm not that man

who needs to take someone down to feel better about himself.

That's not me any more, Jack. I'm back on track, Jackie.

I'm happy.

And I need a good man, I need a moral man.

I need you, Jack. I need you in my life.

And how about this?

I'm sorry if I've ever taken you for granted.

I'll think about it. Hold the bag.

Hold the bag.

Oh!

Easy!

No, it's not a good idea.

Listen, Rox. If this is about what you told me...

Yes! Yes, it is.

And I haven't got the memory of a goldfish just yet, thank you!

Then we can move on. Look at me. I've moved on already. It's fine.

Come on, you stubborn mare, say, "Thank you, Grandad."

Smile and say, "Thank you, Grandad."

-Thank you, Grandad...

-Yes!

-I want my job back. Thank you.

You're right anyway. You know, without this job, I'd be screwed,

what with everything else, and I am not going crawling back to Phil!

-Listen, sweetheart, if there was room here...

-No, no, no, course not!

What with Mo coming back any day now...

I know with Mo coming back, I know. It's why I didn't ask.

Did you just say Mo's coming back? When? Today?

-No, not today.

-When, then?

-Jean, I don't know, sweetheart.

She was on the phone, she was a little bit vague.

-Well, is she coming back or isn't she?

-Um...

-I think the answer's no, Jean.

-ALFIE SIGHS

Well, why did you say she was?

Carol? Why ain't you at the cafe?

-I quit, all right?

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

So I don't have to take any more orders

from uppity little home wreckers like you. ..Yes?

Er, excuse me, how did you get this number?

No, no, you can't do that!

You all right, Shirl?

Yeah, I'm just fine and dandy, thanks for asking.

Here, hang on.

Jay?

I don't want us to fall out.

-Well, it's a bit late for that, innit?

-You moving?

Yep. Finally sold my soul to the property devil of Albert Square.

Still, it'll be worth it. Get my own space again.

-I...

-And you better be running back to Daddy Bear.

You know if...like...

I've got money, I can clean...

SHE LAUGHS

I know I weren't good at it when we lived together, but...

What, are you asking to move in with me?

What if I am?

Oh, please, Shirl!

Phil is doing my nut in, Roxy moved out this morning

and, if I'm being honest...

I just miss ya.

Jay? You working or what?

Yeah, why not? Meet me outside Butcher's Joints after work?

Thanks, Shirl.

-Well, I heard that you sacked her?

-No, no. She quit.

If I find out you're not telling me the truth...

-FOOTSTEPS >

-Right.

Where do you want me?

-What are you doing?

-Well, you tell me!

Er, clearing tables? Cleaning floors? Serving customers?

Look, Ian...

you still look at me and see a gold digger.

Mand, that's not how I see you.

I want us to be a team, Ian.

I want to build a life with you and, if that means working here

and putting in a bit of elbow grease, then, yeah, I will do it.

In fact...

Take it.

What you doing? Why?

Cos I don't want it unless you believe it.

It ain't a big deal? Ain't a big deal?

-Are you seriously telling me you can't see a problem here? Eh?

-Yeah.

What do you mean, yeah?!

What you going to do, hit me? That's really going to make me want to stay, innit(?)

I'm going to Abi's, is that allowed?

TOOLS CRASH

We have got a problem.

SHE GASPS

I'm in a bad way, mate.

Mum, give me that. Come on.

-Quickly.

-Ta, darling.

Watch your step. >

-Boo!

-Oh!

What did you do that for?! You made me spill my coffee!

Don't be like that, I was only playing. Come here.

I didn't mean to scare you.

SHE SOBS

Abi... Look, I'm sorry, all right?

Ha! One-all.

So, um, what was up with Phil this morning?

I don't know. But it don't matter, cos I'm moving out.

-No way.

-Yeah, going to live with Shirley, ain't I?

-Why?

Abi?

-Yeah?

-Look at me a minute.

You've got...

-..some foam on your face.

-What?

-2-1 to the champion! 2-1 to the champion.

-Oh...

You are so immature, Jay Mitchell.

-What? Quit pretending.

-Just don't call me that name.

What, Jay Mitchell?

That's your name, dummy. What else am I supposed to call you?

Oh, it's just so typical of Bianca!

You know... "Oh, I can't control my spending!"

"I can't feed my kids! It ain't my fault!" No, it's a wicked landlord!

Are you feeling guilty?

Eugh!

That's not cooked. Ian!

Ian, you can't serve a pregnant woman raw eggs!

-It's dangerous!

-What?! Sorry, I'll do you another one straight away on the house.

Oh, don't bother, I'll just go somewhere else.

-Pregnant Janine strikes again.

-What?

You being nice all of a sudden. It's a disturbing pattern emerging.

Oh, God! What if... we're having an angel?

Ooh, there's always adoption.

Carol, I didn't mean to upset you.

I didn't want to appear a hypocrite, but it don't mean I don't care.

-I appreciate that, Dot, you know, but I'm a bit busy.

-Don't be a stubborn mare, Carol, let us in.

-It's a bit late for a show of family togetherness.

-That ain't fair.

-< CHILDREN PLAY BOISTEROUSLY

-Bianca never told us how bad things were for her, did she?

-No.

Right, well, I'm sorry, but I'm really busy. Yeah?

-Here you go, Mum.

-That won't even touch the sides.

Well, it's all we've got.

This is serious, Mand! I've not been sleeping, the pain's been that bad.

I'm on my way out, I can feel it.

What have the doctors said?

You haven't been?

What can they tell me that I don't already know?

Mum, you can't stay here.

I'm meant to be working! Ian'll be going mad!

I'm scared, Mand.

All right, I'll tell you what. Why don't I run you a nice hot bath

and we'll get you cleaned up and then see how you're feeling, yeah?

OK.

I love you, Mandy Moo.

I've got kids who earned that television!

-Why do you want it?

-Please get out of the way, madam.

You're not taking the television.

If you continue obstructing the exit,

-we'll have to remove you by force.

-Oi, oi, oi!

You lay one fat greasy finger on my sister

and I shall book you personally into the Royal London for a very extended stay.

-Do you understand me?

-She owes on the TV.

-It doesn't belong to her.

-How much?

We don't take cash. Has to go through the proper channels.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you can make an exception this time. How much?

200.

Excuse me if I don't tip.

Go on.

Oi, oi, oi. Didn't your mother ever teach you to leave a house

how you found it? Put it back.

Go on. Put it back.

Bye.

-I can't live with him on my own, Jay! I get on his nerves, it won't work.

-Just keep your head down.

What if I can't? What if he turns on me? Jay, look, what if...

He's your dad, Ben.

Yeah, and you're supposed to be my brother.

I'm not going far.

Please, Jay. Listen, Jay, please...

I'm scared.

You can take care of yourself now.

Please Jay, don't go. Please!

DOOR CLOSES

So, I think we should, um, start looking at those wedding cars.

-I'll need a deposit, though.

-Take it out the money I just gave you.

I can't. I've spent it.

Eight grand?!

-How?

-I've got expensive taste, Michael, what can I say?

-Yeah!

Why, is it a problem?

No. No. I need a couple of days, though, to get it together.

-Where is this money coming from all of a sudden?

-Business.

As long as it's not business that's going to have the police

-waking me up in the middle of the night.

-Very droll. Speak to Jack.

Oh, watch this. Pregnancy has not changed me one little bit.

Roxy? Ooh...

-Um, I think it might be your lucky day.

-Yeah?

-Hmm.

A friend of mind rang from another agency - bijou, beautiful views,

very handy location and all at a snip.

16th floor bedsit?

Look, I really do think you need to start being

-a little bit more realistic...

-I wouldn't rent Buckingham Palace off you for a fiver a week!

I'm so sorry, didn't realise you were in the position to be choosy.

I hope you and Amy are really happy on the streets.

I don't know how that woman sleeps at night.

All right, fine, I'll look.

No. No, you don't have to you, cos you can, er, you can stay here.

-Really?

-Yeah, really, till you find somewhere decent.

-Just for a couple of nights, yeah?

-OK, fine.

-Thank you, Grandad.

-You're welcome. You're welcome.

-Thank you.

There you go, Mum.

Thank you.

What you crying for?

I don't blame you for hating me.

I don't hate you, Mum.

And I am sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me either.

You deserved a better mother than me.

Lucky you're strong though, eh?

Strong and beautiful.

My angel.

< BACK DOOR OPENS IAN: You all right?

What's going to happen with the kids?

Well, they've got you.

-And I'll help out.

-Ha-ha!

-What?

I never had much of a chance with my own family, let's be honest.

No, I'd like to be useful. Lend a hand.

Move in, even? Eh? Help pay the rent.

No offence, but you don't know the first thing about bringing up kids.

All right? It's not just about flashing the cash.

It's about getting your hands dirty, you know,

doing the dishes, ironing their uniform, peeling spuds.

You know, it's...it's hard work.

-What are you doing?

-Right. Come on, wench. Let's get started.

-What?

-You're not going to do the dishes, are you?

-Leave off! Don't strong it.

No, I was thinking more about peeling potatoes. I do have a reputation to uphold.

THEY LAUGH

You want me to lie for you?

Not lie, exactly, just keep her sweet, you know.

So what was all that stuff this morning

about you finding a woman you love, you adore?

Yeah, I have.

So why are you going behind her back?

Look, it's nothing serious, just a mate in Spain lent me the money...

If Janine finds out about it, she'll never let me live it down.

-She probably won't even ask. Can you do this favour for me?

-All right. Fine, fine!

-Cheers.

-But if you think

I'm going to be involved in this horror show of a wedding of yours,

you're seriously deluded.

All right? You can find yourself a new best man.

-She says she's really ill this time.

-I don't care! She's poison!

-I know, I know...

-Mandy, I do not want her under my roof,

and I don't want her anywhere near my kids.

Just one night, maybe?

Mandy, you said it yourself, she gets up here, she pollutes your mind!

Sounds like a frightened man. What's happened to you, Ian?

-You're not welcome here.

-I'm know I'm ill, but you don't look too good yourself.

Have you been sleeping all right?

Get her out!

Look, Mum, please just go to the hospital, eh? I can't help you here.

Will you come with me? I won't go on my own.

Do you know where the tube is?

OK, go there, wait for me. I'll be there in an hour.

Where's this flat, then?

-Hev's place?

-Yeah, why? Got a problem?

-Are you scared she's going to come back and haunt you?

-Don't be daft.

Lead the way, then.

-Sausages! You say it.

-BOTH: Sausages!

-HE LAUGHS

-No!

That's Mum's seat and that's Mum's mug!

-No-one uses her stuff. Understood?!

-Oh, yeah?

-What you going to do about it?

-I'll get my mate's brother on you

and you better watch out, cos he's a black belt in karate.

HE LAUGHS

I hate you!

She's not coping very well.

Oh, I know, she's just missing her mum, that's all.

-Besides, she loves me, really.

-CAROL SIGHS

Look, I'm sorry about your mum, OK?

-But you did the right thing. She's toxic.

-I know.

And what you said about us. That's what I want too. I mean...

Mandy, I love you and I know you love me too and...

and if all the people out there can't see that,

I'm sorry, but that's their problem. And your mum, her turning up today,

I mean, that made me realise I've been letting her win.

And this is about you and me, OK, it's not about anybody else and...

And do you know what? In the end, we are going to prove them wrong.

Mand?

She'll get to him, wear him down! He could say anything!

I'll go over now and say I'm helping him move in. I'll sort it.

You better, because if he opens his mouth, I won't be able to protect you any more.

Here, Jay, look at this.

I'm in a Hev-shaped crater, look, where she used to park her bum.

What's wrong?

Jay? Talk to me?

Sorry, Shirl...

FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Just me and you, Hev.

It's all right, OK?

From now on, we stick together, yeah?

Give us a hug.

Come on, give me a hug.

I thought you were standing me up.

Mandy?

I'm sorry, Mum.

You'll be all right. You always are.

I've got to think about Ian now.

So what? That's it, is it?

Going to leave your old mum to rot, are you?

I thought you were better than that, Mand.

I thought you had a heart!

-Thought you had a bit of loyalty!

-GROANS IN PAIN

Oh! Mand?

Oh, Mandy!

-WOMAN:

-All right there, love?

-PEOPLE CHATTER

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd