07/09/2012 EastEnders

-You want a coffee?

-I want vodka.

I'm trying to help you, Shirl.

That's why I called Carly.

You can't just let extra guest stay and not tell me!

-Kat's moved out. It's not a problem, is it?

-Kat's moved out?

Look, Dee, there are systems.

And after systems, there are rosettes.

Hot squash, please. Denny's still not feeling too good.

Yeah? He looks all right to me.

So he's having the day off and he'd like a hot squash.

-Well, that would depend if Dee's late-night guest hasn't drunk it all.

-Oh, give it a rest, Hyacinth.

-It's not like I ain't got waifs and strays already.

-You'll give a man headache.

-How many rosettes you get for that?

-Does this wallpaper say dosshouse?

Does it?!

I will get your squash.

I'm still waiting to know who's so important

that you had to break my system?

SHE SQUEALS

You've come to see Auntie Kim!

Nobody told me you were coming.

-What?

-There.

-What is it?

SHE LAUGHS

-Ow.

-Daddy. Look.

-It was your idea to eat in bed.

-Midnight feast?

-Oh, yeah, yeah, darling. Just a spur of the moment thing, that's all.

-We didn't think you'd want to join us...

-You don't need to explain.

I was married once. I do remember spur of the moment things(!)

-No, Jean. It's nothing like that, darling.

-No, no.

Health and safety, Alfie. Fire exit.

I think we all need to be back in our proper places

before Shenice gets back.

(WHISPERS) Shenice.

OK. Well, try again with her, yeah?

-Just one last time.

-There's just too much water.

So why did you come?

Phil said she was killing herself. I wanted to see if it was true so...

Hey. That's not the Carly I know.

She looks like such a mess.

You, er...

You were about to give birth

and, um, then you did...

..and so I haven't told you everything.

Here you are. Get that down you.

I found you out cold in the street.

Just get me a vodka, will you?

Just...

Just ring her.

Yeah, and get her to come all the way back here

just to see me in the gutter again?

-She's still your daughter.

-I don't think she sees it like that.

Here, Shirl.

Shirl, you've got to find something to live for, haven't you?

I used to. I used to have something to live for.

You.

Hev, Ben, Jay.

I'll clear this up.

One of them's dead.

One of them killed her.

And the other two covered it up and lied to me.

So having something to live for,

you know, I don't really think it's my thing.

Why can't you accept that I care about you?

Because you've never cared about me. You've only used me

to get what you want,

a cheap bunk up and someone to feed your psycho kids.

Even now, you're terrified

that I'm going to go to the police,

-tell everyone your dirty little secret.

-This ain't about me.

It's always about you!

-Shall I call Mummy?

-Why don't you leave her out of it, eh?

That's rattled you, hasn't it?

Not enough that her tap-dancing grandson

has battered a women to death.

So, do you think she needs to know that her precious little boy

-has turned to covering up murder?

-You want to calm down...

And YOU don't get to tell me what to do, Phil!

Not any more.

-Denny! Denny, get down!

-I was just like him at his age.

No offence, but he's not you.

-Now THAT is what I call a toy car.

-Don't encourage him.

-You here to see your mum?

-Yeah.

-Get down. It's dangerous.

-He's only having a bit of fun.

Do you want another telling off?

Yes, please.

-Hello, Carly.

-Tan.

-All right, Jack? Hello!

How are you? Is this your little run-around, is it?

Oh, hello. Oscar was wondering where you'd got to this morning?

-He's not very well.

-Yeah, looks like it(!)

-So, you're going to come to work with Mummy, babe?

-What is it this time?

-He's got a temperature.

You can't wrap them in cotton wool all the time, you know?

What is it with everyone? I do know how to bring up my own kid.

Debatable.

You don't like it, someone having something over you.

You want to drink, drink. You want to tell people, tell people.

Oh, I will. I'm going to tell the world the truth about Phil Mitchell

cos now it's my turn to hurt people. The boot's on the other foot.

You'd forgotten, hadn't you?

-No, I hadn't forgotten.

-Yes, you had.

All right. I'd forgotten what the date was. Are you happy?

-Shenice would have been standing at that airport, all alone...

-Here, you seen all this lot?

Yes, darling. They're going to be back later, do final checks.

-You'd forgotten too, hadn't you?

-Give them a ring, yeah?

Nah, they'll be a couple of hours.

Shenice is coming back, I want everything perfect.

Clean pub, clean start. We don't want her knowing we had bugs everywhere, do we?

I heard about Hev. I'm really sorry.

Yeah, I don't need your pity.

-Why don't you calm down?

-I am calm!

The state of you, Mum. It ain't even ten o'clock!

Why don't you just get off your cloud?

She's come to help you.

-And why do I need help again?

-She's come all this way to help you.

Give us some space, yeah?

-If you need any help...

-Yeah, I don't.

How's your brother?

-What? You care now, do you?

-No, of course I don't. I don't give two monkey's.

Right. He came out to Australia with me. He met this girl,

decided to stay on, runs a bar, doing really well.

I didn't even know you that were back in the country with a baby

until Denise told me. How do you think that makes me feel?

The state of you, I doubt you can feel anything, Mum.

Have you got my grandson with you?

He's got a name, you know?

Can I see him?

Jimmy?

After your brother.

Oh, I'm surprised you remember.

Hark at her, Little Miss Perfect, stinking of roses.

I didn't bring him with me. I left him with his dad.

Why would I even want him to meet you? What would I say?

"Oh, Jimmy, here's your granny. Any luck she'll knit you a jumper,

"buy a giant teddy bear." Don't stop on my behalf, Mum.

How dare you come back here and gloat at me.

I came here cos I'm stupid enough to still care about you, Mum.

You never change.

No use to anyone. Waste of air.

Does Alfie know you're in here?

All my life, I've had people talk about me behind my back.

Sometimes I talk back to them.

Sometimes I pretend I'm invisible.

Is that what you're doing? Pretending you're invisible?

Cos if you are, I can't see you, can I?

And if I can't see you,

I can't tell you that Alfie would want you to leave.

Brian used to play darts. My husband.

Never taught me.

-You didn't have to buy him that.

-Just saw it at the market.

That's the thing with you boys, never grow up.

Yeah, nice to see you too.

-Er, I'm taking that to the bank later.

-Well, I'm taking it now.

-Do you want to bother telling me what for?

-My business, my money.

-Search me.

-What's that? An invite?

Can I go and show Oscar my truck?

-Oscar's at school, isn't he, darling?

-Why can't I go to school?

Because you're staying here with Mummy today, aren't you, babe?

Why don't you take it out on the dance floor?

-Lot more space out there. You can learn a few tricks.

-Course you can.

I'll be out there to play with you in a minute.

You're not working today?

Nah, the gym's quiet.

Thought I'd come over here, help you sharpen a few pencils.

And there's me thinking girls just wanted diamonds and champagne?

11! That's good, isn't it?

Yeah, it's all right.

Yeah, it's not as good as 12, but it's better than 10.

Sometime's that's what you have to focus on...

the little things.

Like, is today better than yesterday?

Can I score one little more point?

Seven.

You see, now I'm going backwards.

That's when you have to stop, take stock

and turn things around.

And how do you do that?

First, you have to accept the things you can't change.

You can't undo what you did.

Heather's not coming back, is she?

Have you and Shirley...?

I tried to talk to her.

And she tried to kill me.

Michael did a terrible thing to me. Terrible.

Not as terrible as, you know... I mean, I know you didn't, but...

you knew stuff and you didn't speak out. That was wrong.

You know that was wrong.

I know you know that was wrong.

Well, what Michael did was wrong and I was angry.

I was SO angry. I wanted everyone to know how wrong he was.

And then when the people that mattered knew...

it sort of helped.

And then things started to go bad for him

and I thought, well, you know, he is a person. He has got feelings.

He's doing his best, whatever that best is.

And slowly I stopped being angry...

and just became resigned.

So when he did apologise, in his own way...

..I was ready to hear it.

You know, forgiveness is a funny thing.

Sometimes you do it quickly. You go, "Don't be so silly,

"Forget about it, let's move on." And sometimes it can be slow.

I don't think it's something that you decide.

It's something...

Well, when you wait a long time...

..it's something that you realise you feel.

You know, you wake up one morning and the sun's shining and you...

you know.

You just know.

Better than a seven, yeah?

I should never have come.

Come on, don't go. Not like this.

I knew it'd be like this. I always promise myself

I'm not going to get drawn back in again and...

-KNOCKING ON DOOR

-Hold on. That'll be her now.

You always think to yourself, it can't get any worse, and then you know what?

Five minutes, yeah?

-I've tried to tell her.

-I know what you did.

He was my dad.

-I bet you couldn't wait, could you?

-She told me about it months ago.

Listen, accidents happen, people die and I'm sorry.

-Just seems to happens a lot around you...

-Stay out of it, all right?

Do you want to know the truth?

I don't even blame you for his death.

He knew what that car was when he got into it.

What I do blame you for is slowly killing my mum.

I blame you for the state of her.

Just...

Just take her away, please.

What? And pick up your pieces?

-Look, it's not my fault she's in a mess.

-No?

-Nothing's ever your fault, is it?

-Look, just...

This is between me and Carly, all right?

I can't help her. I can't give her what she needs.

No, because she needs her best mate back...

-Stay out of it, all right?

-..and your psycho son...

-Stay out of it!

I helped you out, didn't I?

I gave you a chance, I gave you a job, didn't I?

-I don't owe you anything.

-OK. Well, then do it for your mum.

Please.

I can...

I can get more, yeah?

I can get more. Just tell me what you need. Please?

Right, Dennis, let's teach you some new tricks.

Denny?

-Right, I'll check the toilet.

-Denny!

He's not here!

Ain't in there, either.

Is this how you show love?

Just take it! Say what you want...

And you wonder why she's such a mess.

You get away from her.

You've destroyed everything I love.

Everyone I've cared for. I'm not going to let you destroy her too.

You're poison.

DOOR CLOSES

Denny!

You go down the market. I'll do George Street and Turpin Road.

-I should never have let you give him that.

-We'll find him.

Denny!

Denny!

What's he done to you?

He hasn't done anything.

Mum, it's like he's taken half of you away.

I haven't had a drink. You know that.

I haven't been this sober for weeks.

Why?

Denise told me about Hev, but I...

Did she tell you she scooped me up from the gutter?

No, those weren't quite my words.

Who'd have thought it, eh? After everything we've been through,

old sourface here, she took me in.

Yeah. Less of the old, please.

But it's not about Hev, is it? Hmm?

It's Phil. Go on, what's he done?

When your dad died...

..you said you wished it had been me.

Well, I didn't mean it, did I?

You were right.

Mum...

You'd still have your dad.

Denise'd still be happy. We'd have been better all round.

Well,

we don't get to choose, do we?

I know that.

That's the joke of it.

I'm sorry.

-(VOICE CRACKS)

-Carly, I'm so sorry.

Oh, hey... Mum...

Hey! Sssh.

SHIRLEY SOBS

Denny!

Denny!

-How many times have I told you?

-I was only playing.

-Here? Do you know what happened here?

-I wanted to find Oscar...

This is where your dad died!

That's nice, isn't it?

Everything back to normal.

I love fresh bedding.

Everything clean and white and fresh...

-Shall I give you a hand?

-No, I'm all right, thanks, Jean.

PHONE RINGS

But he died in a helicopter.

-You said he...

-I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean it.

It's just, Mummy lost you and she was scared.

I meant, this is where I saw him. The last time I saw him.

Then he went to fly his helicopter?

Yes, darling.

-Went to save all those people?

-Hmm.

But why did he die?

Well, because the helicopter crashed

and he was a hero and he died, didn't he?

Yes, but why?

No-one knows why people die, baby.

Sometimes people, they...

Good people, heroes. They...

They just die.

Sharon?

You all right?

I need to go away.

Get myself sorted.

So, where you going to go?

Ain't like I haven't done it before.

I left my kids.

And Jimbo, he was...he was so needy.

I mean, what type of mum does that?

Leaves her children and a kid with cystic fibrosis?

Has, um...?

Oh, no, no, no.

I had this test when I found out, so...

I know how scary it must have been for you.

You wouldn't have left him, though, would you?

Like I did.

And left you and Deano with a man that wasn't even your dad.

He WAS my dad.

That's why you hated me all this time.

-I was young!

-I'm not blaming you.

I deserve all the hate you can chuck at me.

Well, I...I get it a little bit more now.

Jimbo died. I didn't even go back.

Just lost meself in a bottle.

Now look at you.

Got a kid of your own...

Your own business...

-Man that loves you.

-You haven't met him.

Imagine what you'd have turned out like if I'd stuck around.

Mum, all I ever wanted was you there.

But you had your dad.

And then you had Denise.

Well, sometimes it's easier to be a mum to kids that aren't your own.

Yeah, cos I did such a great job with Ben(!)

I meant...

If I'm such a great mum, why aren't mine here?

You do your best. And that's all you can do.

Do you know what the last thing that Pat said to me...

you know, before I went off?

She gave me this little locket,

had a picture of Dad in it.

And she said...

She said, "Love never ends, Carly. Just you remember that."

BABY CRIES

I've been thinking of things I can do.

But there's nothing I can do.

I've just got to say it.

And if I have to keep on saying it, I will.

If I have to say it a million times.

But I'm sorry.

For everything, Shirl.

I'm really, really sorry.

I know.

FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS

Hey!

Ooh...

There you go.

Hi!

Hiya.

Why don't... Why don't you come and live with us?

Nah, wouldn't last two weeks.

Just try.

Please?

Please.

All right, sweetheart? Ready for the airport run?

Shenice ain't coming.

What do you mean, Shenice ain't coming? Is she going to stay another day or what?

No, she's staying there for good. Martina just rang.

She can't just do that.

She's sorted herself out and they're getting on really well

so she's staying there.

I've spent all day cleaning.

I've ironed her uniform and I've bought her shoes.

Oi, oi, come on. Come on.

It's only Spain, all right. It's not that far.

It wasn't as if she was going to stay here forever, was it, eh?

She's bought new sheets and, well, everything.

Listen, if she wants to be with her mum...

Come on, Kat, everyone deserves a fresh start, don't they, eh?

-Dirty!

-Aw...

-Dirty!

Don't you go exterminating me!

-Fat Boy! Fat Boy!

-Dirty!

-Whoa, whoa, Fats! Time out, yeah? Just...

-Sorry.

Listen, sweetheart, all this stuff is going to be as good as gone

in a couple of hours, I promise you.

Hey, Shenice...

It's not your fault, all right? It'll be fine.

Just telling Jack to call off the search.

Thanks.

BOYS PLAY AND SHOUT UPSTAIRS

How do I tell him? Denny?

His dad was murdered.

Outside the Vic.

Sharon, that's awful.

My dad was murdered inside it.

And you still come back?

I'm going to check on the boys.

Oh, no, don't worry. Honestly, they'll be fine playing upstairs.

Trust me. It's when you don't hear any noise, you need to worry.

I had nowhere else.

I thought, "I've been here as a daughter."

"I've been here as a lover, as a wife."

I just thought this time it'd be different, you know?

I thought I'd be here as a mum.

Can't even get the mum bit right.

-BOYS:

-Yay!

I don't think any of us get the mum bit right.

Honestly, the stories I could tell you.

Yaay!

Can I go to school next week?

-Yeah, course you can, darling.

-Yes! I'm going to teach Oscar to catch.

Oh! Good.

I haven't started that yet!

No, I know.

Let's start again, shall we?

I'm Tanya.

I'm Sharon.

-Your bill...

-Kim!

-Is on the house.

-Thank you.

Can't pay your way out of this.

Just keep it.

It's not about the money.

Just want to say thank you for everything.

You always have a home here, you know that.

-Yeah, you call me, all right?

-Mum?

Don't. He ain't worth it.

You know, the saddest thing of all is, we were friends once.

Good friends.

Mum, come on, we're going.

I'll spend some time with my daughter. Get to know my grandson.

Sort myself out.

Sounds good.

It's what you need.

You ain't going to get rid of me.

Keep looking over your shoulder, Phil.

Cos when you least expect it...

..I'll be back.

TRAIN RUMBLES BY

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