21/09/2012 EastEnders


21/09/2012

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Christian?

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MOBILE RINGS

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I am a woman of taste, Christian.

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Everybody knows that if it was left to you

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-my son would be wearing a pink cowboy hat.

-You really don't...

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-What?

-Zainab, we really want you to be involved,

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but you're going to have to learn to respect our...

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No, no, no, this is my son's big day.

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What is needed is a hands-on approach.

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Zee Interfering? Never(!)

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When you stop treating this place like a hostel

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then perhaps somebody might ask your opinion.

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Until then, munh bandh rakhna, please!

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It's not every day that your son has a partnership ceremony.

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A marriage ceremony.

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-Doesn't matter what you call it, it's hardly going to last with this family's track record.

-Tamwar!

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-Tam!

-Where is the prodigal son anyway?

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He's meant to be here saving the family business,

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seeing as I'm incapable of doing it alone.

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No, no, no, no, there's no problem.

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Just give me till the end of today. You'll get your money.

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Don't suppose you've got a spare ten grand, have you?

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Bounce!

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-You're not thinking this through.

-Will you stop going on?

-I'm being serious.

-So am I.

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You're going to stay at Honey's for a couple of weeks

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cos she's got a new job and you got to look after the kids, big deal, I get it, Pops.

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Why you acting like such an old nag?

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Because now they've upped the level of contact, ain't they?

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You'll have visits from the social worker, family support officer, health visitor...

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Yeah, and I'll invite them all round to the party while you're away.

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This ain't a joke.

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Right, I'm going to do my last day of community service, all right?

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Well, let me look after Lexi, yeah?

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Nah, you're all right, Cora'll have her. See ya.

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See ya.

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Oh c'mon, you're going to be working all weekend.

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You've already wasted one night on a bloke.

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Me and Denny are going to watch a DVD tonight.

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Right, you're going to stay in and watch Spongebob? On a Friday night?

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-Something wrong with that?

-Oh no, course not. If you're six.

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Get Ian to look after him.

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No. He's had him once already this week, Tan.

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Right, so he knows what he's doing. Give us a chance to talk about a certain wedding that's coming up.

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Not sure I'm the right person to ask.

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Couple of glasses of wine, you know, some adult company,

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nice, sophisticated night out.

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Sophisticated? At the Vic?

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All right, time to go and beautify the residents of E20.

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OK.

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If you change your mind, call me.

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See ya.

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This is ridiculous.

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Keep 'em closed. Patience, and all will be revealed.

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-Didn't they tell you in school not to walk off with strange men?

-Yes, thank you, Phillip(!)

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Stand there and...open them.

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-Del...

-Uh!

-Derek, you're a diamond.

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-How'd you sort with the market so quickly?

-Where there's a will, and there most certainly was, young man,

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there's a way.

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All you've got to do is go to work and earn us some money. Oh, and don't forget...

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..there's special deals for the special customers.

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Now...partner?

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Ha-ha!

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There! You see, he likes this one better. Don't you, AJ?

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There is a difference between liking and choking!

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Ah, Syed, will you please tell this man

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that I have catered more functions than he's had hangovers.

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Help me, please!

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-Nice of you to show up.

-I had some things to sort out, Tam.

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Like a decent venue?

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Do I have to remind everyone that there are only 25 days left

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till the 16th of October?

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What's wrong with the registry office? It's all sorted!

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Registry... That is so dreary! Don't you want your day to be perfect, Christian?

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-Yes.

-Good.

-Only the best!

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OK, right, you - you take the children into the other room, OK?

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Because we've got a lot to get through.

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Zee, baby-sitting really ain't my thing.

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While Mas is having his school meetings you promised you would pull your weight.

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Can you not do one thing to help this family out?

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Why don't we take the kids round mine?

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Look, we're only going to get in your way.

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You both know what you're doing. You don't need my help.

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I'll come back for lunch, then you and me can talk shop, Tambo?

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No, cos I've got to go and pick up some after dinner mints.

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Well, I'll get them on the way round to mine.

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Right, I'll see you at the flat, AJ.

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You'll be all right with the kids for a bit, won't you?

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Um...

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I tell you what, why don't I help get her things together?

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Come on.

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After dinner mints. He's proving to be quite a help(!)

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Your brother is going to help get our business out of the mess

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that you and Afia have left it in.

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It wouldn't hurt you to show him a little bit of gratitude!

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Hey, watch where you're going, young lady!

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All right?

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What's that for?

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Turning up.

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That's what mates do, ain't it?

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Yeah, best mates.

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Try it again. Please.

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Look...

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I know they say that third time's a charm and everything,

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but I don't think it applies to when your card declines.

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There must be some mistake.

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What, Christian been having too many Margaritas down the R&R?

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Look, Sy, I understand, I live with Kim.

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-It's like trying to manage the Greek economy.

-Can I pay you later?

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Now can you imagine if I asked your mum to pay on tick...?

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Oh, Sy!

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Your infamous customer service still working its magic, I see!

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-There's a girly night in the Vic later.

-I'm busy.

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Reading Fifty Shades of Grey is not busy.

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Well, who's going then?

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Me, the Chippendales, couple of the West Ham first team.

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Who do you think?

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-Well, it's just that I...

-Just that I will see you there.

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But I, no...

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Speak to him. You know him better than...

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You all right, Mr Mitchell?

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What?

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Well, you know, it's heavy that you're back, yeah?

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But the thing is, this place has been proper quiet since you've been gone.

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And, you know, there ain't no party like a Phil man party,

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so we were wondering...

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Just spit it out, will ya?

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-If you would be keeping us on?

-Yeah.

-Now you're back.

-Right.

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-The two of us.

-Well, that depends.

-On what?

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On whether you continue to get on my nerves all day.

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Yeah, OK.

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She's in my shop, not yours.

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If she wants to bring the baby in, she can.

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And as it was me who delivered the baby,

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I'm pretty sure I'm capable of looking after it.

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It's just not really protocol, Ms Cross.

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Lola, she's here to work.

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She doesn't need distractions.

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You know what you can do with your protocol, don't you?

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Daughters need to be around their mothers.

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Why don't you run along, before you really...get on my nerves?

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That told her.

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I hope you two are going to work as hard as you did yesterday.

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Bet you're glad you came, innit. This is well fun.

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Ain't that bad.

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I promise I'll make it up to you, right, when Pops has gone.

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No, I mean have a party, you idiot.

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Having a free house is going to be sick.

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Why, what did you think I meant?

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You're here to work, not mess around.

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Cow.

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It's all right, you'll be free in a couple of hours.

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Yeah, I understand.

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No, I got your number off the internet.

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Listen, I'm not cold calling.

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I've got a lot of cleaning products at very reasonable...

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MOBILE RINGS

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Uncle AJ?

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Yeah, I'll be there in a...

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What do you mean, an emergency?

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Abs, you can't get me out of work and then just not say anything.

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Well, you told me not to say his name, so I'm not.

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Oh, not this again!

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Well, I saw him with Lola, Mum.

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And?

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It looked like... like they were together.

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Well, darling, if he's moving on, then maybe you should too.

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I knew you'd be like this.

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Like what? I just want the best for you, darling.

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You know that. The boy is up on charges.

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I thought you were meant to be innocent until proven guilty in this country?

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Don't start.

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It's just Lola. We were meant to be mates, the three of us.

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Darling, I know you're hurting right now. I do.

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But there will be other boys. I promise you.

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Trust me, there will be other boys

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who don't come with a prison sentence hanging round their neck.

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Shh. I just got them to sleep in Yas's room.

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Toddlers really ain't my thing.

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Uncle AJ, I only left you for...

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An age, actually.

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I had an errand to run.

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Well, they're quiet now. I fancy some Loose Women.

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On the telly. I meant on the... Urgh!

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No, no! You can help me by tidying this place up.

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HE GROANS

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MOBILE RINGS

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Yeah, hello?

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All right, well, what do you reckon to this one?

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-Nah.

-No? What about now?

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Yeah? Hang on, hang on.

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Cowboy!

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Hello, sweetheart, what are you doing here?

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Just thought I'd come and give you a hand.

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Don't need any more hands at the moment, darling.

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Just need to watch what the little tea leaves are doing with them.

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You all right, Abi?

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Yeah, great, you? I didn't know you'd be here with Lola today.

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I don't think your mum would be too happy...

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Oh, Nan, it's not...

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Then again, my mother wouldn't have been too happy with the boys I hung about with.

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All right?

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-Yeah.

-I just wanted to say, I'm really happy for you.

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-Well, both of you.

-Will you give us a hand with these?

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It's just Jay's had a really tough time lately,

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so it's really good he's got someone to speak to.

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He needs a girlfriend.

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What girlfriend?

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I've made a start, but cleaning really isn't my forte.

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You all right?

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Yeah, it's nothing.

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Don't bluff a bluffer, mate.

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It's just, I had a business deal with Michael...

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What, as in, shop boarded up Michael?

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Yeah. That's the one.

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Tricky. Very tricky. What you going to do?

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Unless you've found a small fortune down the back of the sofa, not a lot.

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Sy, I ain't the guy to give financial advice.

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But where I'm from, if you're losing big,

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double down and grit your teeth.

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Either that or just try and stay out of his way.

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No point worrying! Eh?

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BABY CRIES

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Thank you.

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Yeah, it's Syed Masood. I don't have your money.

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And I won't be able to get it by today.

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So, why don't you stop calling me and I'll give you a call

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by the beginning of next week and let you know when I'll have it for you.

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I'm not even joking,

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if I have to spend another minute with your mum

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there's not going to be a wedding, there's going to be a funeral.

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-Will you just listen?

-Well, I saw you kiss.

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-What, outside? That was nothing.

-You don't have to lie to me.

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Maybe you two can sort this out somewhere else?

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Lola, will you please tell her there's nothing going on?

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Look, Abs, I was just having a laugh. I was just trying to wind you up,

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I didn't mean to upset you, all right?

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But just sometimes, it's like, it would be nice

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if we could hang out without you two going all Romeo and Juliet on me.

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Oh! I could have done this quicker myself.

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Well, six hands are better than one. So we'll get this done in no time.

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You seen Lexi's tiger? She won't settle.

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Ain't it with her?

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No. Never mind.

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I'll have to put some brandy in her bottle instead.

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-What?

-Joking.

-Brandy, but...?

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You want to sort these out then?

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Mum, I love you and I know you're only trying to help

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but this is mine and Christian's wedding.

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So you need to listen to what we want.

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But I know what you want.

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Yeah, and so does Christian.

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So if I leave you two to it,

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please, maybe, you can try not to end up killing each other?

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I thought I'd get some as well, just in case.

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-Tam, I'm sorry.

-The restaurant isn't making a profit

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but I've got to somehow find three months' mortgage arrears.

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-And you can't even remember to pick up some after dinner mints.

-You haven't paid the mortgage?

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-You've more important things to do than help me.

-You're my brother. Nothing's more important.

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Well, act like it then.

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-You drive a hard bargain, Mr Trueman.

-Yeah, man.

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-Hey, Patrick.

-Billy, Billy, what do you think about that?

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Yeah, yeah, it's nice.

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Listen, any chance of you popping round ours later?

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-I need to ask you something, yeah?

-Yeah, all right.

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All right, Ty? How we doing then?

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Bosh!

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Look at that! I'm impressed.

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Tell you what, why don't we go out for a ruby tonight? My treat.

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With Whit away I'm not really feeling like a big night out.

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Nonsense, got to celebrate our new business venture, haven't we?

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You know what they say about business partners? As close to family as you can get.

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Well done, son, I'm proud of you.

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-Enjoying being his monkey then, are we?

-Keep your mouth shut, mate.

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Got you wrapped right round his little finger.

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You know this is all just some game to him, Tyler.

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Look, bruv, I'm just trying to earn a living.

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Whatever it is you got going on with Derek...

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When I first met you, I thought you might have something about you.

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Do you know that? But you're just another lapdog, ain't you?

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-What?

-Another mug.

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Just like that half-wit brother of yours.

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Nice shot.

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I'll let you have that one for free, eh.

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See you later.

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-So how do you feel?

-What?

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Now you've paid your debt to society!

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Just means I get to spend some more time with you two dumbos, don't it?

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The gang's back together.

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-Abs...

-Yeah?

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Don't ever call us a gang again.

0:17:110:17:13

That is literally the uncoolest thing you have ever said.

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Where you going?

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Need to put some fun back into this place!

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You're here?

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Come and have a look at this.

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How did you...?

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Well, I managed to speak to some of our suppliers,

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put on a bit of the old Masood charm.

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Delayed payments to the big ones for a bit.

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You know, couple of grand here, couple of grand there.

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They know we're good for it next month.

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And with the money I've saved, we can cover the restaurant.

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I can't believe...

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Well, it's all there in the business accounts ready to hand over.

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Nine grand. Mortgage covered.

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That degree in economics does come in handy every now and again.

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I don't know what to say.

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Well, why didn't you tell me you were in trouble?

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That's what families are for.

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I've been an idiot to you, OK.

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It's not your fault we're in this mess.

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So if there's anything I can do to make it up...

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Well, there is one thing.

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Be my best man.

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You didn't get to do it for Darren,

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well, I'm asking you to do it for me.

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I hope you're hungry, little man?

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We don't need no-one when we've got popcorn and a DVD, do we?

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Hi, Ian, it's me. I couldn't ask the biggest favour, could I?

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That'll give 'em something to remember us by, won't it?

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Wonder if it'll last longer than the four of us.

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No, course not. We're the future of the Square, aren't we?

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I mean, look at Abi, she is a proper Dot Branning in the making.

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Well, if I'm Dot then you're Kat Moon.

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Oh, yeah! "Cor, come on Alfie, give us a kiss.

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"Give us a kiss, Alfie."

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MOBILE RINGS

0:19:430:19:46

Hello?

0:19:460:19:48

Pops, calm down, calm down, I've got ages till my curfew time.

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All right, all right. All right, I'll be home in a minute.

0:19:520:19:54

-No, Jeanie, you got to snap it out.

-Snap it out.

0:19:560:20:00

That's it. One more time.

0:20:000:20:01

It's no good. I'll never make a superstar DJ.

0:20:010:20:04

You know, if I wanted to keep my job,

0:20:040:20:07

I'd do a bit more than stand around like a pair of lemons.

0:20:070:20:10

Now, you, start topping up the spirits.

0:20:100:20:12

And, you, take that over there

0:20:120:20:13

before them two start ripping down the wallpaper.

0:20:130:20:16

I'm going to! Straight off!

0:20:160:20:18

This is just what I needed. A bottle of wine with a good mate.

0:20:180:20:21

Yeah, amen to that. Bit of solace on a Friday night.

0:20:210:20:24

And how are my two favourite ladies?

0:20:240:20:26

Oh, hello. Now we were just discussing

0:20:260:20:29

whether or not you were ready to commit to a single mother, yeah.

0:20:290:20:32

Take on the responsibility of a child. Maybe children.

0:20:320:20:36

Pay the bills. Put food on the table.

0:20:360:20:38

Keep that bed warm, Fats, you know, through those cold winter nights.

0:20:380:20:42

Uh, just, uh...

0:20:420:20:44

-You are a bad woman, Tanya Cross.

-Bad? I haven't even started yet.

0:20:440:20:48

Let me introduce you to the girly night turbo charger.

0:20:480:20:52

-What are you doing here?

-Night out, ain't it?

0:20:520:20:55

-Mr Fats.

-Yes, Kimmy?

0:20:550:20:57

-A round of your finest Sambucas, please.

-Good times.

0:20:570:21:02

Well, that was a good day's work, weren't it?

0:21:040:21:06

-There you go, gents.

-Thank you, Syed.

0:21:060:21:09

I think our little arrangement could turn out to be quite lucrative.

0:21:090:21:13

All right, what's with the face?

0:21:140:21:16

It just doesn't feel the same without Anthony.

0:21:180:21:21

This was something we was meant to be doing together, know what I mean?

0:21:210:21:25

Look, this is going to sound harsh,

0:21:250:21:28

but sometimes that's how it's got to sound.

0:21:280:21:30

He's done this before, ain't he?

0:21:320:21:34

-How d'you know?

-He's a punter, Ty.

0:21:340:21:36

And it doesn't matter if it comes between love and money,

0:21:360:21:39

he'll always let you down.

0:21:390:21:40

Now, I like Anthony. He's a good lad.

0:21:400:21:44

But he brought this on himself. No one else. Least of all you.

0:21:450:21:50

We've got a special offer on the house wine tonight.

0:21:540:21:56

Buy one bottle, get one half price.

0:21:560:21:58

Well, seeing we're celebrating I think we'll go for that, don't you?

0:21:580:22:02

Yes, mate. Yes, we will.

0:22:020:22:04

Promotion's working already. Told you.

0:22:060:22:09

We'll get out this mess.

0:22:090:22:10

You took your time, didn't you?

0:22:220:22:23

We're here now, aren't we? Just chill. Chill.

0:22:230:22:27

What are they doing here?

0:22:290:22:30

We needed to talk about who's going to look after you while I'm away.

0:22:300:22:34

-I said I'll be all right.

-What are you going to live off, eh? How you going to cope on your own?

0:22:340:22:38

-I said...

-Calm down, young lady.

0:22:380:22:40

We just want what's best for you, all right?

0:22:400:22:43

Have you had some kind of accident?

0:22:430:22:44

Well, it weren't Lexi, must have been one of you.

0:22:440:22:48

-Is that paint?

-What about it?

0:22:480:22:51

Have you any idea the chemicals that has in it?

0:22:510:22:54

We were only having a laugh.

0:22:540:22:56

That stuff could aggravate all kinds of skin conditions.

0:22:560:22:59

You think Lexi's welfare is just a laugh?

0:22:590:23:02

She wasn't saying that and you know it.

0:23:020:23:04

Can we just concentrate on what we're talking about here?

0:23:040:23:07

-Lo', we've been talking, yeah?

-Oh, thanks for waiting(!)

0:23:090:23:11

Just shut up for a minute, will you?

0:23:110:23:14

While I'm away, Patrick is going to be your responsible adult.

0:23:140:23:18

That means he's moving in here with you and Lexi.

0:23:190:23:22

Can we please stop talking about children?

0:23:240:23:27

This is meant to be a night out.

0:23:270:23:28

I better be going anyway.

0:23:280:23:29

Eh? It's early yet.

0:23:290:23:31

We haven't even got the dirt on Walford's most eligible boxing club owner yet!

0:23:310:23:34

Rather keep me food down, if you don't mind. But you know, feel free.

0:23:340:23:38

Please! All she's had is Patrick's long johns and that book keeping her going these last few months.

0:23:380:23:43

-Come on, spill.

-All right.

-Yeah?

0:23:430:23:45

He's nice.

0:23:450:23:46

Nice?

0:23:460:23:49

Nice ain't really rocking the boat though, is it?

0:23:490:23:52

-No. We want nasty.

-Exactly.

-It weren't that long ago you were knocking him off yourself, Tan!

0:23:520:23:56

Surely your memory ain't that short, is it?

0:23:560:23:58

I need the little girls' room.

0:24:020:24:03

-Yes.

-Denise?

-Yeah.

0:24:030:24:05

So if you have any problems, you've got my number, Lola.

0:24:070:24:11

Thank you.

0:24:110:24:14

I can't believe you called her behind my back.

0:24:170:24:20

Young lady, everybody needs a bit of help sometimes, you know.

0:24:200:24:23

Now listen, Lo.

0:24:270:24:28

While I'm away Patrick's in charge, so you do whatever he says.

0:24:280:24:32

You hear me?

0:24:320:24:33

-Right, I reckon that's me.

-What you talking about?

0:24:350:24:39

We still got half a bottle of wine to knock out here.

0:24:390:24:41

I've got to give Whitney a ring and I want to get a good night's kip.

0:24:410:24:44

-Early start on the stall tomorrow.

-Ah, the modern work ethic. I respect that.

0:24:440:24:48

-Cheers for the ruby.

-Don't mention it.

0:24:480:24:50

Oh, and Tyler?

0:24:520:24:54

To the future, son.

0:24:540:24:57

Good evening, sir. Would you like a takeaway or sit in?

0:25:010:25:05

Takeaway. Definitely takeaway.

0:25:050:25:08

-Do you think she's angry?

-Which one?

-Tanya!

0:25:120:25:16

Well, considering you just put your size nines in...

0:25:160:25:18

Are you two going to stay there all night?

0:25:180:25:22

No. I'm sorry about that. It's her. I didn't know stupid was contagious.

0:25:220:25:27

It's all right. We've just been comparing notes, ain't we?

0:25:270:25:29

You know, I might have had a few drinks,

0:25:290:25:32

but you're all right, you.

0:25:320:25:33

-My round, is it?

-Yes, it is.

0:25:330:25:37

Phil? Mr Mitchell, we just wondered if you'd made up your mind yet?

0:25:370:25:40

About the jobs?

0:25:400:25:42

You look like you're enjoying yourself.

0:25:420:25:44

So do you. Glad to see you took my advice.

0:25:440:25:48

What you gawping at? Serve her, it's a pub, ain't it?

0:25:490:25:51

Yeah, course, Phillipo, man... Er, Mr Mitchell.

0:25:510:25:55

-More wine?

-And you, make yourself useful

0:25:550:25:58

and go and collect some empties or something.

0:25:580:26:00

You work for me now, not some pushover like Alfie.

0:26:000:26:04

I'm not joking, you could do with an early night.

0:26:090:26:12

Seriously, Tambo. There's only these few customers left.

0:26:120:26:15

I just feel weird leaving you on your own.

0:26:150:26:17

I'll be fine. Go and tell Mum the good news.

0:26:170:26:19

-If you're sure?

-Course I am.

0:26:190:26:21

Syed, you know I...

0:26:220:26:24

Me too. Go!

0:26:240:26:27

Quite the man to find, aren't you, Mr Masood?

0:26:350:26:38

I got your message. Now, where's my money?

0:26:380:26:41

Well?

0:26:440:26:45

Yes, that is beautiful.

0:26:450:26:48

-I know.

-And no stupid cowboy hats.

0:26:480:26:51

No, no stupid cowboy hats.

0:26:510:26:53

You know, maybe us working together like this

0:26:550:26:59

wasn't such a bad idea after all.

0:26:590:27:00

You're wearing that.

0:27:030:27:05

I am not wearing that! She's naked! Look at that.

0:27:050:27:07

Is Sy with you? I wanted to show him something.

0:27:070:27:11

-No, he's just finishing up.

-My little worker bee.

0:27:110:27:14

But I do have some news. He asked me to be his best man.

0:27:140:27:18

Come here, you. Mwah! I can't think of anybody better.

0:27:200:27:24

See. It's all going to work out.

0:27:260:27:29

Our family is finally moving on.

0:27:290:27:32

Tamwar Masood?

0:27:590:28:00

Is there a problem?

0:28:000:28:03

None whatsoever.

0:28:040:28:05

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0:28:110:28:15

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