15/10/2012 EastEnders


15/10/2012

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-Rox, you seen Sy?

-No, no, no! You're not supposed to see this!

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Got in late, out early. Not answering his phone...

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His battery's probably dead.

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-Homemade banners. Quality.

-Yeah, well, we need to get on.

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Or he's not answering the phone cos he's embarrassed. He knows his stag's

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going to be nowhere near as good as ours, because his stag night

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-is being organised by an idiot.

-Oh, babes, you're wounding me(!)

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-I'm not your babes.

-She's still my babes.

-She ain't your babes.

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-Thank you, Christian. So where is it then, this amazing stag?

-It's uh...

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-You ain't got anywhere?

-Course I've got somewhere!

-Where?

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-You think I'm showing you my hand? Listen, me and my man...

-Me?

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-We are going Over the Rainbow.

-No bruv, I'm working! I can't...

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-# Somewhere over...#

-Fat Boy, you need to come... Fat Boy!

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Right, you - go put your frock on.

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-Love you.

-I love you. But get out.

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-Bye.

-See ya.

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Oh.

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'Important'.

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-Oh, it's nothing to worry about.

-In big cartoon capitals.

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I'll deal with it, Tam.

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OK, Dad was looking for you. And Christian.

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Anyone would think you're getting married.

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-Sorry, why are we not open?

-Got to get the place ready.

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-We can't afford to shut up...

-Mum said...

-Mum doesn't run this place!

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All right, Tam? And we said simple!

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-Yeah, I think that is her idea of simple.

-I don't like wasting money.

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-We need to open.

-I've sent the chef home. You're allowed a night off.

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You've done enough already.

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Just go and enjoy your stag... Hen.

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Go and enjoy it.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Still ain't too late to come?

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What, night out with you? I've seen the CCTV!

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SHE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY

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-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

-What you doing?

-I don't know, I don't know.

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Yes. You won't even notice we're here!

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Search me!

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-Now THAT is the kind of fun we are looking for!

-Out.

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-R&R was booked and...

-I can't let Syed down, can I?

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Hold on, hold on. You think...

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I am going to let you hold a stag do in here?

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-I tried to tell him.

-Out.

-How much we talking?

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-Out.

-Fifty quid?

-Do me a favour! You can double that!

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You want to stay in, do you? Out! Take that.

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-OK...

-Off you go. Thank you. Bye bye.

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HE IMITATES A KISS

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Delicious!

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Well, someone's burning a candle!

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Well, he can burn a whole candelabra, darling!

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Cos me and romance? Not getting on.

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With a face like that, you surprised?

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See ya later!

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I thought you'd have gone?

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Yeah, running late.

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Roxy's idea.

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Anyone would think you'd been avoiding me.

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It's work. You know?

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Anyway, Jane, she can't make it.

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Mum's had a relapse and she don't want to leave her.

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Well, Shabnam hasn't sent a card.

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Sisters, eh?

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Nice.

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You know, it wouldn't matter to me

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if we were the only two people in the room.

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Tomorrow's just about me and the man I love.

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Whoo! You stink.

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I need to get back to the Argee Bhajee.

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YOU need to get in the shower.

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Cos you've got a stag do to go to.

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See ya.

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I'm putting AJ in with Tamwar.

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I thought, night before the wedding.

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Give Syed a little bit of space...

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That still fits nice.

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A bit of space. Yeah.

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Maybe that's what he needs.

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Beautiful, isn't it?

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Wedding present for the two of them.

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Our son. Happy.

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Yeah.

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What?

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You was the one that said it was gonna get rowdy up in here, bruv!

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I say a lot of things.

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Yeah, well, I don't want Mr Mitchell's lady getting mash ups,

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you know I kinda like my legs the way they are!

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Hey, listen, man, come on...

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What you doing? This is my venue!

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Rox, come on babe, I've already taken his money!

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-Well, untake the money. I've already booked.

-Howdy partner.

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THEY LAUGH

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-Fats!

-Yeah.

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We need costumes. L-plates. Inflatable sheep. Now.

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Alright, cool.

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-Thirsty?

-Yes!

-Come on then!

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-You guys alright? Cool.

-Nice this, innit?

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Stag do. Two stag dos. Wedding.

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Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your night, babe. What you guys having?

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-Bubbles, bubbles! Lots of bubbles.

-All right. Lovely, coming up.

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-Oi, oi! You're spoken for!

-I am young, free and single still!

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I, however, am not spoken for.

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Yeah, well, she definitely bats for my team.

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No, no, no, she hasn't found the right girl yet. Go get her for me.

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-Go on?

-Are you joking?

-Get her for me!

-All right!

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I ain't invited.

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I'm inviting you!

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You ain't invited either! Watch you drooling all over Mas?

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I do not drool!

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Kim pawing at Ray. Syed and Christian...

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Syed does not drool either!

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I mean, what's so wrong in living in sin any more?

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I need entertainment!

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-Syed! Syed!

-Hey! Love the hats.

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Well, you seem to be in perfect physical health.

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Babe! You remember Danny? From the Argee Bhajee?

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-Me and Syed have been spending quite a lot of time together lately.

-Business.

-You never said.

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-In fact, your fiance's been calling me all day.

-It was work!

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I thought this might be your local.

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Come on boys, you can have a night off?

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-It's our stag do.

-Yeah, you should have told me.

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I'm finally making an honest man of him. Hey!

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Hello the stags!

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Hello darling, alright?

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Danny, this is Tanya - we used to work together.

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That is until he realised there was more to life than groping naked bodies!

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Or is there?

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I'll see you in a bit, babe.

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-Aye, Jim lad!

-You can't be serious!

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You want to walk the plank?

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My father in law. And his brother the comedian. Danny - one of Sy's regulars.

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Is he? This is just friends and family.

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-My dad's right. I'll call you.

-Yeah. You're getting hitched in the morning.

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You, young man, are going nowhere. This is my stag do

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-and nobody leaves until they finish their drink.

-Don't mind if I do!

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-We're gate crashing.

-It's a pub.

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It is a free country.

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-Really?

-I thought you and romance weren't getting on?

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My favourite niece!

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-Jane said I have to text photos, so...

-Go on then. Here we go.

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HE GROWLS

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Unleash the Fox! Unleash the Fox!

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Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy, what, you're not gonna introduce me, man?

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-Oh you've got one, yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

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Scrub up good, innit?

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Cheers.

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So if you'd like to raise your glasses, please,

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filled with whatever my mother has deemed appropriate.

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To love.

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ALL: No!

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-Eleven-nil!

-That's close! Ish.

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Can you concentrate please, Syed!

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Okay. Do we want the next question?

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Dee, Dee, I just wanted to say sorry about the whole B&B thing.

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And who would Christian have play him in a movie?

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-What? It weren't you, was it? It was the bulldozer.

-OK, OK, OK...

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Is it John Barrowman. Is it Daniel Craig?

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Or is it that blonde one out of Gladiators

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that was sleeping with Ulrika Jonsson?

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How am I supposed to know that?

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Well, you're meant to be marrying him!

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That don't count for much! He'll have you locked in a cellar before long.

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Denise!

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You know what - funny. Little bit dark. But funny. I like it, I like it.

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John Barrowman.

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HORN SOUNDS

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That's actually disappointing. Everyone here knows. OK,

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altogether - it's Daniel...

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ALL: Craig!

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Is that how you see me? Jazz hands John Barrowman!

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Loser!

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Hello I'm Christian. Nice to meet you.

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Is that it? Is that all the fun?

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Oh the fun ain't even started yet.

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Dee, you know what can I... would you like a drink?

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-That'd be nice.

-Why don't you take care of the music? I'll entertain the lady.

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Two minutes, I want to show you something.

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Apparently, father of the bride gets the drinks in so that would be you, would it?

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-Yep.

-Gets to you though, innit?

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You know, two people in love, getting married,

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with their family and friends around...

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Sasha'll be waiting, Yeah? All right?

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MUSIC: "Single Ladies" by Beyonce

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< Come on, Christian!

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# All the single ladies

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# All the single ladies

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# You put your hands up... #

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One, two, three!

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I can't have any more of this.

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I've got to keep a clear head for tomorrow.

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Are you kidding me? Are you going to be like this all night?

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-Like what?

-Refusing my drinks.

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Talking about, "I'm so loved up!"

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One day it'll happen to you, Roxanne Mitchell.

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The only good looking bloke around here has gone, ain't he?

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Yeah, well.

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What happened to you, anyway?

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Oh, come on, darling...

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You used to be so much fun, do you know that?

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-I have got such a surprise for you here...

-Oi!

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-Oi! Hello? This is not your night, OK?

-Roxy!

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This is my night! This is my best mate.

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Him, all right? HIS stag night! Not yours.

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If you want a massage? Help with the stress?

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-You knew I was seeing him.

-I didn't know you were getting married.

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-I didn't expect you to find out.

-You took me to your local club.

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-You've been calling me all day.

-Because you've got my money.

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It seems to me like you want to get found out.

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You know, you play with fire, Syed, you get burnt.

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Nobody's playing.

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Why are you marrying him?

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Because I love him.

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You could do so much better.

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Dead end job in a dead end restaurant.

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Well, it's good enough for you to bring your mates to.

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You're worth more than this, Syed.

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You're young, you're good looking...

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you're sexy.

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Look, I need to get back.

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You're tying yourself down

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with some Muscle Mary old enough to be your dad.

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Never been in love, have you?

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How are you going to feel? Ten, 20 years from now?

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You don't even know him.

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What do you want, Syed? The penthouse on the Thames?

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The villa in Miami?

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Or do you want to be stuck in some poxy little flat in Walford

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with a pensioner?

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I'll have the penthouse and the husband, what will you have?

0:12:330:12:37

Why are you marrying him, Syed?

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Look...I need money.

0:12:430:12:46

-What, you selling yourself?

-You couldn't afford it.

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-Damaged goods? I don't think so.

-An advance...on my return.

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There is no return...

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the deal went bust.

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No, no...

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No, you said it was guaranteed.

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-You roll the dice, you spin the wheel...

-I need that money!

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There'll be another investment.

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-You can have a flutter on that if you want?

-With what?!

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-You loved it though, didn't you?

-Stop messing me around...

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-The risk, the excitement...

-Just give me what's mine.

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Just like earlier, when me and your hubby were in the room together.

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The smell of fear.

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Leave him, Syed.

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No!

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You can have that whenever you want.

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I said no.

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He said no.

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# ..horny, horny

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-# Horny, horny, horny... #

-Give me a minute.

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That's subtle.

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No!

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What are you doing, mate?

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How'd you know that one?

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Can't beat a bit of old school, baby. Come on, come on!

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# ..where you're from you sexy thing

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# I believe in miracles... #

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You've changed, all right? You just can't see it.

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I've grown up. You should try it.

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There are other people in the world, you know. Not just Syed.

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Maybe not for me!

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So, where is he then?

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Can't you just be happy for me?

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I've spent all day doing this for you!

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-He's never been good enough for you, has he?

-It's not about him...

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No, it's about you! Roxy Mitchell, centre of the universe.

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Why can't I just have you for one little evening

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-without him being there too!

-Please, don't make me choose.

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Christian, I love you. You're my best friend.

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And I love YOU to bits.

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You're pushing me out!

0:14:360:14:38

Roxy, please!

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May we? Please?

0:14:400:14:43

Sure.

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We were talking money.

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Danny's been helping me with the books.

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I saw you together.

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Said you wanted to get caught.

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Oi! Oi! Oi! That's enough!

0:15:040:15:05

You've done enough already.

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Not such a nice guy after all.

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Go on, get out.

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Send me some wedding cake.

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I just wish he could relax, you know, enjoy it. He's working so hard

0:15:240:15:27

You're a good man, Christian.

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HE CHUCKLES

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You make a pretty good man yourself there, Stud!

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Huh?

0:15:330:15:34

-Oh!

-SHE LAUGHS

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Who would have thought it, huh? You and me, here?

0:15:420:15:46

I know.

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I've been thinking about Syed's last wedding...

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Remembering.

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I said some things...

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..some vile things.

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I seem to remember I gave as good as I got.

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But it can't have been easy for you...

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all of that going on and me, Masood...

0:16:100:16:15

Amira coming back...

0:16:150:16:17

-"Character forming", ain't that what they say?

-Yes.

0:16:170:16:21

I respect you, Christian.

0:16:210:16:24

Standing by my son...

0:16:260:16:27

..bringing up someone else's child...

0:16:290:16:32

..fighting for the...

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..fighting for the man that you love.

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MOUTHS: Thank you.

0:16:450:16:47

-Right, now, I expect a huge bunch of flowers every Mother's Day.

-Yes.

0:16:530:16:57

And chocolates - hand made!

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Another man, Syed?

0:17:040:17:05

-Please, Dad...

-You were with another man!

0:17:050:17:07

Days before you and Christian...

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You even sneaked out of your own stag night to see him!

0:17:140:17:16

-I didn't sneak out, Dad, I...

-I saw it, Syed! I know what I saw!

0:17:160:17:19

Are you going to tell him?

0:17:320:17:34

-Any reason I shouldn't?

-Are you going to tell Mum?

0:17:350:17:40

-Dad, I know how you must be feeling...

-Oh, do you?

0:17:400:17:42

You know, do you? How can you possibly know how I feel?

0:17:420:17:46

Do you think you're ready?

0:17:540:17:55

-Committing to Christian...

-You still think it's wrong, don't you?

0:17:580:18:01

-Two men getting married.

-It's not marriage.

0:18:010:18:04

Syed, this is not about you being gay!

0:18:040:18:07

This is about you...

0:18:080:18:10

-..marrying the right man.

-That's what I'm doing.

0:18:130:18:17

You're my son...

0:18:170:18:18

I WANT you to be happy...

0:18:180:18:20

..but kissing another man, Syed...

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it tells me that something's wrong.

0:18:260:18:28

Hey! Your husband-to-be's gone missing in action.

0:18:350:18:39

-I'm just about to go and find him.

-I've got a stripper.

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What? I've found the stag! A stag.

0:18:420:18:45

-You are joking me, aren't you?

-Come on. Grow up and deal with it.

0:18:450:18:50

Oh, AJ!

0:18:530:18:55

No, we do not have a license!

0:18:550:18:57

What's he going to want to see her white bits for?

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It's all I could afford at the last minute!

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For adult entertainment we do not have a licence!

0:19:020:19:05

He really don't get the gay thing, does he?

0:19:050:19:07

THEY ALL CHEER

0:19:070:19:10

MUSIC: "Sexy And I Know It" by LMFAO

0:19:100:19:13

-# When I walk in the spot

-Yeah

-This is what I see

-OK

0:19:130:19:17

# Everybody stops and they staring at me

0:19:170:19:20

# I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

0:19:200:19:23

# Show it, show it, show it... #

0:19:230:19:26

I want you to be the man you can be.

0:19:260:19:29

Someone you can respect?

0:19:290:19:31

No, someone who can respect himself.

0:19:310:19:33

You'll never understand.

0:19:370:19:39

Well, try me.

0:19:410:19:44

Tell me.

0:19:450:19:46

The thing you have to remember, Syed, is...love is about trust.

0:19:520:19:57

You can't live on a life of lies.

0:19:590:20:01

Trust?

0:20:040:20:06

You've got to tell Christian.

0:20:080:20:10

You think I'm going to take lectures from you about trust?

0:20:100:20:15

About marriage? About lies?

0:20:150:20:17

-Syed...

-You left Mum with that man!

0:20:170:20:20

You went off and you jumped into bed with Jane.

0:20:220:20:25

Mum lied to you, you lied to her, you walked away,

0:20:250:20:28

you turned your back on her and you left her!

0:20:280:20:32

And you stand there, you DARE to stand there

0:20:320:20:34

-and smugly lecture me about trust?

-I'm not lecturing...

0:20:340:20:36

You have no right!

0:20:360:20:38

You lost that right months ago.

0:20:390:20:42

Now whatever you saw, you saw nothing!

0:20:420:20:44

I love Christian...

0:20:470:20:48

..and I am marrying Christian...

0:20:490:20:52

..and nothing you can do can stop me.

0:20:540:20:56

CROWD CHEERS AND CLAPS

0:21:090:21:11

OK, that's enough. That's enough!

0:21:130:21:15

Just rub in the oil, baby!

0:21:150:21:17

Christian!

0:21:220:21:24

-Tell him to put his teeny, tiny top back on!

-You love it!

0:21:240:21:27

I do not! OK, stop!

0:21:270:21:29

Go on, Kieran!

0:21:290:21:31

Oh, yeah!

0:21:310:21:33

CROWD CHEERS

0:21:330:21:34

VELCRO TEARS

0:21:390:21:40

SHE SCREAMS

0:21:400:21:41

I was just...

0:21:470:21:49

Oh, lighten up, Mas!

0:21:490:21:50

Christian..?

0:21:520:21:53

MUSIC: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

0:22:070:22:10

YOU missed the stripper!

0:22:330:22:35

-Did I?

-Not a patch on me!

0:22:350:22:37

You all right? Where you been?

0:22:380:22:40

Oh, I've been chatting with Tanya.

0:22:400:22:43

Well, that's funny, ain't it? Cos she's dancing over there.

0:22:430:22:46

You've been with that Danny bloke, ain't you?

0:22:480:22:50

I told you, it's business.

0:22:500:22:53

Come on!

0:22:540:22:55

In a minute.

0:22:560:22:57

-What's happened?

-I caught it on a door frame.

0:22:590:23:01

I was lugging a box in for tomorrow. It's nothing.

0:23:010:23:04

I love you, Clarkey.

0:23:120:23:13

I love you more.

0:23:150:23:16

-If you mean it...if you love him...

-Yeah, I do, so deal with it.

0:23:250:23:30

OK, are we not beyond all this? Surely?

0:23:300:23:33

-I'd love someone like Christian, Dad.

-Tambo!

0:23:330:23:36

Well, maybe a little less manly. Actually, a lot less manly

0:23:360:23:39

but anyway, it doesn't matter, they love each other, Dad.

0:23:390:23:42

They're good together. Leave them. Come on.

0:23:420:23:44

Oi, oi! Cheeky!

0:23:530:23:55

Hey, hey, hey, bruvver, bruvver!

0:23:550:23:56

-She don't get down like that, all right?

-It ain't me.

0:23:560:23:59

-It's the music, bruv.

-I know, I know, I hear you, I hear you,

0:23:590:24:01

but she doesn't get down like that, all right? OK?

0:24:010:24:05

Yeah, she's got better taste. You good?

0:24:050:24:08

Oi! Leave him! What you doing?

0:24:080:24:10

Yo, yo, get out, man! Get out!

0:24:100:24:13

SHE SCREAMS

0:24:130:24:15

You and your crew, man!

0:24:150:24:17

It is way past your bedtime, mate.

0:24:170:24:19

Yeah! Yeah, bruv!

0:24:210:24:23

And you, floppy hair! Who does he think he is? Andy Murray?

0:24:230:24:26

You all right?

0:24:290:24:30

Yeah, I'm just a bit wet. You?

0:24:300:24:32

Yeah, I've had worse, man. This is nothing, this is cool.

0:24:320:24:35

Listen, can I get you both a drink?

0:24:350:24:38

No, I'm just going to get off. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?

0:24:380:24:40

Hey, hey, hey, listen!

0:24:400:24:42

Look, do you want me to, you know, walk you home?

0:24:420:24:46

Just in case they're outside.

0:24:460:24:48

Yeah? OK.

0:24:480:24:50

Do you know when you first told me that you loved him?

0:25:050:25:08

Was at Amira's wedding - your wedding.

0:25:110:25:13

And I told you...to ignore it.

0:25:160:25:19

I told you that if you chose to walk this path...

0:25:210:25:25

that you would walk it alone.

0:25:250:25:26

Syed, I was wrong.

0:25:290:25:31

I said that all of this would fade to nothing...

0:25:340:25:38

..and it hasn't.

0:25:390:25:40

Cos what you have...it's real, Syed...and it's strong.

0:25:430:25:47

So you get married...

0:25:490:25:50

..because in my eyes it is marriage.

0:25:520:25:56

You get married with my blessing.

0:25:560:25:57

Thank you.

0:25:590:26:01

I've got a present for you.

0:26:030:26:05

I wish you and Christian everything you've ever dreamed of.

0:26:190:26:24

HE INHALES

0:26:440:26:45

Let me put some ice on that.

0:26:450:26:47

You don't...?

0:26:540:26:56

You ain't just a...?

0:26:560:26:58

Last night of freedom!

0:27:330:27:36

Let's have a look.

0:27:450:27:47

Oh!

0:27:480:27:49

Hey.

0:27:520:27:53

Next time I see you it's going to be our wedding day.

0:27:560:27:59

I love you so much...

0:28:010:28:03

..husband-to-be!

0:28:040:28:05

You get some beauty sleep.

0:28:100:28:12

Stop!

0:28:170:28:19

Please.

0:28:220:28:24

I can't do this...

0:28:300:28:31

..I can't marry you.

0:28:350:28:37

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