29/10/2012 EastEnders

Look where you're going. Stop it, get down.

Mind the people.

Tiff, will you stop? You're going to fall down.

-Didn't know you did the Pony Express on a Monday.

-Yeah. Full-time now.

Nice one. Might get the right post for a change.

-I wouldn't be so sure about that!

-See you later.

Phil...

< Anybody home?

-Oh, you're back!

-You all right?

I'm auditioning for the main part in the Christmas play.

I've been playing football for the school.

Too cool to give me a hug, right?

Welcome back. I weren't expecting you.

We're just back for the week. I've got some things to sort out

-before Bianca gets home.

-Yeah, Nan got cheap coach tickets.

-We was up at the crack of dawn.

-Well, welcome back.

My room...

Maybe not for too long, Tiff. I'll have to sort out

the sleeping arrangements before your mum gets back.

-Where's Derek?

-He's out.

Oh, what the hell is that?

Yeah. Derek bought it off the stall.

Well, if that's the worst of what he's been up to,

I suppose I should be grateful.

Look who I found in my room.

-You must be Alice.

-You must be Auntie Carol.

I know delivering junk mail is what keeps the post office going,

but it means you have to go to every single door.

Next Olympics, I'm going to do the marathon, because...

according to this, I've done...13.27 kilometres.

You're just putting some shifts in whilst it's half term?

No, it's full time.

You're not going back to the school?

No. You know, bills,

mortgage...

stuff, you know?

Dad. You love your school work.

Yeah, this pays more.

But what happened to chasing your dream and doing what you want?

Look, Tam, sometimes reality is what it is.

And you're OK with that?

Delivering the Crown's Royal Mail, finishing by mid morning?

What's not to like?

Sharon.

I'm just on my way to work.

Got some fruit for Dennis.

-I've cut it up into little pieces.

-Oh, thank you.

I remember when Peter had mumps,

-he struggled with chewing and everything.

-That's kind of you.

-Cheers.

-Has Phil said anything to you about the Lola, Lexi thing?

I haven't seen him over the weekend.

Oh, right. I swear to you, it's not got anything to do with me

-and Phil and everything...

-Has he said something to you?

No. He's not said anything.

Well, to be honest I expected to come home to a tip,

but this place looks all right.

-Oh, don't look at me. Alice is the tidy one.

-Don't worry. I didn't think you had anything to do with it.

Today's my day off, so I can help out with anything...

What do you want me to do with this, then?

Here, I'll sort it.

Dad's been pretty good, as well.

Like with paying bills and keeping up to date with everything.

Maybe I've come back to a parallel universe!

Then again...

..maybe not.

You not staying for breakfast?

Have you seen how late it is?

And whose fault is that?

Please stay.

Oh, right. So, trying to get me the sack on Friday wasn't enough, eh?

Want to give it another crack, do ya?

I was coming to let you go.

-Course you were, Luce.

-I was! I came back when Whitney stopped me.

So what if you lost your job, anyway? You could always come work for me.

Right, well, I ain't really that big on chip frying, thanks, Luce.

Well, maybe we could do something later - meet up for a drink?

I ain't really sure what I'm doing yet, so...

Well, text me.

Phil, Ian's got enough to cope with, getting himself back together.

He does not need you twisting the knife over this.

So me not stopping and having a chat with Ian Beale

is twisting the knife, is it?

Look, I have not got a problem with him, OK? Trust me.

So you're not planning on dunking his head down a toilet any time soon?

No, he's in the clear. Anyway, I've got a new bog brush.

I'll let him know it's all right, then.

-I can have a word with him if you want.

-No, no. No need to.

Why's that there?

Still his voicemail.

He did say he was busy today.

Busy? Busy with my boot up his backside.

Right, I need some chocolate.

Oh, here we go.

He's having a laugh.

What's this?

Right, that's enough.

Liam, look after Tiff and Morgan, I'm just going out.

I'm really sorry, Auntie Carol.

You got nothing to be sorry about, darling.

-There we go.

-Ooh, look at that.

And I'll have another cup of tea, please, my darling.

Mmm.

What was I supposed to do?

-And when were you going to tell me?

-I was going to come round...

Oh! Lucky I've saved you the bother, then.

You really think you can do anything you want, don't you?

It's not about what I want. It's about Lola and Lexi.

Oh, yeah, course it is.

When Ian pulled out, she was all over the place.

-You had no right.

-She begged me to get you to help but I knew you'd say no, so I put your name down anyway.

Well, now you can take it off.

-It's already at the court, Sharon.

-Well, say you made a mistake.

It's just a piece of paper. That's all it is, and if it gets Lexi home,

-then so what if I'm out of order?

-You reckon?

Yeah, because I don't care. Well, obviously, I do care.

It gives Ben something to aim for.

I know I should have said something, but,

well, when Ian was out of the frame,

I just thought I'd do whatever I could to help Lola and Lexi.

I'm just trying to do the right thing, Sharon.

That's what you do, isn't it? You try and do the right thing.

All right, smiler?

-You look like you've been to the same fun factory as Sy.

-Snap!

Come on, see if you can help us with our master plan in finding Sy a job.

This is like the rejects' cafe on The Apprentice.

-You're fired!

-There are jobs out there, you know, Tam -

-just got to find 'em.

-Yeah, before the other two million unemployed do.

No luck down the Jobcentre?

Well, yeah, but sadly I'm not a qualified accountant,

nor do I have a degree in structural engineering.

Or an experienced pharmacist.

I saw that one. I just didn't like the hours.

-D'you want a cup of tea?

-Yeah.

So, Dad is back delivering post.

-What about the school?

-He's given it up.

-Why would he do that?

Let's see. He either loves the outdoors,

he likes walking around in the rain for six miles, or it pays better.

Parvez...

Why don't you join us?

Even our chef can't stand us.

-All right?

-Yeah.

-It's good to have you back.

-It's good to be back...I think.

I thought you weren't due back for a couple of weeks.

Well, I had some things to do and you know, things change.

Apart from our brother, evidently.

Brother? You talking about the old grumpy one?

You know he's still using our house to store dodgy gear?

You know what he's like. Don't get involved.

-All I know is he's got the hump with me, big time.

-About what?

Where do you want to start? He's got his boy Joey...

-Joey? He's back as well? I knew Alice is here, but...

-Joey's working for me.

-Why's Derek got the hump about that?

-You ain't seen the two of them together.

The boy don't want to know him.

Put Derek's nose right out of joint, and that ain't even the best bit.

The wedding! Sorry, I meant to say. That's really good news. I'm really pleased for you.

Derek ain't. He's been a right pain about all the best man business and all that.

-What, you've asked Jack?

-Yeah. I want the day to go well.

Don't want to spend it worrying what Captain Pugwash is going to get up to.

-Have you seen him this morning?

-No.

Honestly, Carol, he ain't doing himself any favours.

Seriously, if he don't wind it in, me and him...

-All right, I'll see you later.

-See you later.

What do you reckon, Alfie?

Lovely, Mo. Goes with your warts.

-It's not what my white-van man thinks.

-What?

My white-van man. The fella I got this lot off.

-He was giving me the eye.

-I hope you picked it up, cleaned it and gave it back to him!

ALFIE LAUGHS

I thought I told you to check them notes.

If you get any moody notes,

I'll take 'em off your hands for half the face value.

Shut up, Nan. Phil's gone all straight now.

Yeah, right. And my farmers have cleared right up. Do me a favour.

I want that lot out of here, an' all.

SHE CACKLES

All right?

Oh, come on, girls. What are we, back in the playground?

-You broke the pact. You let him go.

-Yes.

And you let him back into your bed.

You back with him?

I've forgiven him, haven't I?

What's that written all over your forehead, eh?

Doormat.

No. Lucy, you don't have to explain herself to her.

And what about Tyler, eh?

Is he going to forgive you that quickly? No.

D'you know what - I'm the only one round here

who hasn't actually kissed him, and I'm getting all the grief.

You, you're all the same.

You all deserve each other.

All right?

All right! I'm picking up a slight sense of anger then, Lauren, eh?

My best mates hate me because of you.

-They'll get over it, won't they?

-You might be able to play Lucy and Whitney like some sort of mugs,

but it's not going to work for me.

All right.

It's like the rules of the universe don't apply to him.

He's Phil Mitchell and he can do exactly as he likes.

-Wasn't he going to tell you?

-That's not the point, is it?

He's already done it. I'm down on that application form

and that is that as far as he's concerned.

He would've been desperate once I pulled out, OK?

He'd be prepared to do whatever it takes.

Oh, what, and stuff the rest of us?

Ben's inside, OK?

This gives Phil something to live for.

I'm not saying what he's done's right...

No. Because it ain't.

No, you're right. It ain't.

But sometimes we want things so badly,

we're prepared to do anything to make it happen.

All right, Luce. Ian about?

He's around, maybe having lunch. I don't know.

Right, when you see him, can you tell him that Bianca's back soon?

And this is vital news to him because...?

Could you just pass the message on? Thanks.

-Are you going to buy anything or not?

-When we start working together,

-you'll have to sort out that attitude.

-You want your job back?

Yeah, well I think that is a matter for me and Ian.

-Well, no, not really, because I run this place now.

-Since when?

And why do you think I want anyone from your family working here?

-Excuse me! What do you mean, my family?

-Your brother nearly runs me out of business, robbing from me,

threatening me, but you just stroll back in here and ask for your job back.

Alice.

Have you seen your dad yet?

-No, I haven't.

-When you see him, you tell him I'm looking for him.

Here, Derek, you like a good party, don't you?

I'm not impartial to a bit of fun and frolics, Alfie, no.

Right, big Halloween party it is.

I've been thinking - maybe doing the place up,

few decorations and all that...

Spiders' webs and broomsticks?

Yeah. Witches' hats, pumpkins.

I suppose you'll be wanting to buy my gear off me, then?

No, thanks, Mo. I've got enough stuff out back from last year, thank you.

Party it is, then!

Hello, angel. What do you want to drink?

-Derek.

-Yes?

This note's dodgy.

-You're joking!

-Sorry.

There's a lot of them going about.

-I've just been given this in the garage.

-Well, we can't take it.

So I'm the loser in all this.

Typical, innit?

First you get the bankers doing us,

then you get some scumbag in the local community having us over...

It's always the little people, ain't it? Always the little people.

Still, life goes on. What you having?

Carol's back.

Oh, is she?

So what Lucy said is right?

Look, I don't know about the threatening bit, but,

-yeah, he didn't exactly play very nice.

-But why would he do that?

-Carol, it's not for me to say, is it? Do you want a cup of tea?

-No. Can you just tell me?

-The way Derek spun it was she grassed him up.

-Over what?

I don't know the ins and out, do I?

Jack, I'm not in the mood...

It was over some dodgy booze or something.

Derek was left out of pocket.

This just gets better and better.

But it's OK now. The police found nothing and his probation officer's cool with it now.

Oh, right, oh, right. Silly me,

for worrying about my brother threatening a teenage girl.

-Do me a favour. Keep it down, will you?

-I will not keep it down! Everywhere I've been today,

all I've heard is that Derek is a one-man disaster.

Well, will you kick off quietly? I got a sick kid in the other room.

What sick kid?

Dennis. Sharon's boy.

-Sharon who?

-Sharon Rickman. Used to be Watts.

-Sharon Mitchell?

-Rickman.

I don't know what planet I've landed on,

but what the hell is going on?

-Sharon and Dennis are staying here now.

-Staying?

-Staying?

-Yeah.

Oh. Right. Well, I'm really happy for you. I'm happy for all of you.

You're all moving on.

I'll let you get on with nursing... Who is it?

Dennis.

Dennis...

-Rickman.

-Mm.

Oi.

What?

Don't tell Derek I told you about the Lucy stuff.

He's already giving me grief over this best man thing.

Oh, and sis?

Bet you're glad to be back, ain't you?

-If you've come back to have another go, don't bother, because I don't need it.

-Is that right?

Yeah. You've said your bit,

you've told me what you think, so, whatever...

Only you could do this.

What?

Turn this around like everyone else is in the wrong.

Look, Phil, this application...

You haven't signed my name on a birthday card.

-It's a legal document.

-Sharon, I did what I had to do.

Regardless of anyone else.

Lexi needs to be with her family.

She needs to be with her mum

and if I have to wade in to make that happen, then I will and if that makes me wrong, I don't care.

Because if you'd have seen the look on Lola's face, seen the look

in her eyes when she thought Ian pulling out meant

-that she'd lost her daughter, you'd have done exactly the same.

-No.

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't have gone behind people's backs.

Well, like I said, we've done this,

so don't let me keep you, yeah?

Look, will you shut up a minute?

I came here to tell you that maybe...

Maybe I get it, you know?

Maybe I understand.

That doesn't mean you're right, but...I get it.

And if Lola's happy about it, then...

..you can use my name.

PHONE BLEEPS

-Oh, hiya.

-Hi. Er...

is Kim about?

No, sorry, love. She's just gone out. How's your mum and Kamil?

Good. They might be back soon.

As long as she's having a good time, eh?

Anyway, listen, I've just got to pop out to the Minute Mart, so...

Right, um, I was just wondering if there was any work going here.

I can cook, clean, make beds,

cos that's what I do when Mum's not about.

I've got a good morning smile.

-I'm sorry.

-It's OK. It's not the first time I've heard that word today.

I tried to get the job cleaning the toilets down the station,

but what with the 200 applicants they've had already...

Anyway, if anything comes up, just tell Kim to give me a call.

-Listen, there might be a few hours going.

-Really?

-Cos just talk to Kim. I'll do anything.

-I meant at the Minute Mart.

I'm just on my way there now, but got a temp in at the moment.

Not good.

Is that Mum's old job?

Yeah.

Look, if you don't want to... It's just a thought.

-Just helping out?

-Exactly, just helping out.

-Till she comes back?

-Till she comes back. Yeah.

OK. Yeah. I'll take it.

-Thanks.

-Yeah.

Can I have a tea and a coffee, please, love?

Yeah, is it busy out there?

Yeah, not bad, not bad.

I've seen Phil.

Oh, yeah? Lucky you.

Look, what he's done...

I know you were upset about Ian, but he should have spoken to me - it's massive.

And you know, no matter how much you want this sorting out, Lola,

and I understand you do - of course you do - but he just can't go

doing what he wants without speaking to people.

Whoa, whoa. What are you rabbiting on about?

The residency application.

Yeah, what about it?

Me being on it.

You?

Who's that from?

Dunno. Someone just left it on the bar.

-Someone's got an admirer.

-Don't be stupid!

-And you know who it is.

-No, I don't.

You know what you are, don't you?

You know what she is, Alfie?

-What?

-Jealous.

Yeah, that's what it is.

She's jealous of me getting some attention for a change.

Hold on. Who's the rose from?

It's mine, from my admirer.

-Don't stand there gawping. Did you get his number?

-Who?

-My white-van man!

-What, he sent you a rose?

Who else would it be? Big bloke, scar on his chin,

muscles you could bounce tennis balls off?

Yeah. That sounds like him.

-So did you get his number?

-I didn't, sorry, Nan.

Gordon Bennett, girl! I finally find a bloke to scratch my itch

-and you let him get away.

-Enough, Mo.

-The box is wet now, look.

-That's beer.

There must've been a leak.

Oh, what a shame.

I suppose you'll be biting my hand off now

for replacement decorations.

Did you sabotage this, Nan?

Just because you don't store your stuff properly,

-don't go accusing me.

-Oh. Right, listen.

OK, stop. Let's not row, OK?

Let me have a chat with Roxy and see what we can do.

It's damaged, so how much?

Twice as much as it was this morning.

Well done, Mo, thank you.

Come for round two, have you?

You got a good right cross there, Lauren.

You should get yourself down Basher's. Look, Lauren,

come on, wait up a sec, will you? Lauren, please.

I'm sorry, all right. I am.

Is that how got you back into Lucy's bed, is it? "Sorry"?

I want us to be mates.

I used to have a few of them, didn't I, before you turned up?

I didn't mean to mess things up between you all.

-It's a bit late for that now.

-But it's not what I wanted, Lauren.

Look, you really helped me out last week,

stopped me from getting the sack from here,

and that's the sort of thing that mates do.

I promise you, Lauren, if I ever see you

chained up to some giant metal flower,

I'll do exactly the same.

I will. I didn't mean to upset you, Lauren.

Mates, yeah?

I'll think about it.

I suppose that's one step up from you trying to whack me one, innit?

Hello, sis, welcome home.

Did you have a nice trip? How's Bianca?

She well?

-What? What's the matter?

-I've spent the whole morning going round in circles looking for you.

-Yeah, and here I am.

-Right. Don't you ever answer your phone?

Do you know, I think I might have left it here today.

Oh, right! Maybe you left it in the kitchen cupboard with the other 20.

I can explain about those.

They're pay as you go and they're totally legit.

-Would you just stop it, Derek? Stop lying!

-C'mon, it's only bits and pieces.

I told you before I left, I wanted it gone.

Done.

I knew it. I knew you'd let me down.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

Oh, come on. It's only petty stuff. It's not heavy like it used to be.

I can't trust you any more, Derek.

After everything I've said, you still went and used this house.

Look, it was there for one night

and I didn't know you were coming home, did I?

I'm not playing any more, Derek.

I can't have this. Not with Bianca coming home.

All right, I swear. No more hooky gear in the house.

It's not just the hooky gear, though, is it?

What about all the dodgy booze?

Yes.

Yes. Yes, exactly, I've heard everything today.

Police sniffing around, you robbing off of Lucy Beale...

No, that was just reclaiming the debt, OK? That was just business.

-And you threatened her.

-Threatened her? What am I going to threaten a little girl for? Please!

-That's not what I've been told.

-Oh yeah, who by?

Everywhere I've been today, every single person I've spoken to

-has not had a good word to say about you.

-Like who?

And I can't believe you're going off about this best man stuff.

Oh right, I see.

Well, I should be the best man because I'm the oldest. It's my right.

Even Joey's back on the scene

and evidently doesn't want anything to do with you.

That's just small steps, but Alice is here. You'll like Alice.

Have you met Alice yet? She loves me, Alice.

You can't keep doing this,

winding everybody up, doing dodgy deals!

Oh, Carol, look. Please.

I don't want to wind you up.

I could do without the grief, believe me. It's just that...

-It's what I am.

-What's that?

-It's what I do.

-Being selfish, thinking of yourself?

Do you know what the Old Bill would do to Bianca

if they found all this here?

No. You just think about yourself, Derek. Stuff everyone.

Stuff me and the kids.

Fine.

I was, er, just going to pop over and see you.

Well, here I am.

So?

I don't know, Phil. You tell me.

You're still all right with everything, ain't you?

-OK to help Lola?

-Yeah.

This is the same Lola I just spoke to, who hadn't got a clue what was going on?

I didn't want to tell her anything until I got it sorted - to get her hopes up.

You told me that you put my name on that form

-because of how upset she was that Ian pulled out.

-She IS upset.

She didn't know about any of it, Phil!

You know this is not about Lola, this is about you.

It's always about you.

She wanted me to help get her kid back, didn't she?

-She'll have to do it on her own, because I'm out.

-Sharon...

-I mean it, Phil. Now, you call the social,

you get my name off that application form or I will.

Because do you know what, Phil?

THAT is the right thing to do.

DOOR SLAMS

Well that was lovely, angel, thank you.

See? On their best behaviour now you're back.

-Oi! I do my share.

-No, you don't!

Oi, oi, oi. No smashing plates, please.

-Here, I'll do that.

-Ain't she a treasure?

Go on, Liam, do your bit.

That's what I like to see - a bit of family team spirit.

And I mean it, Derek. You keep this place free of your stuff.

You do not put Bianca at risk.

Anything to make you happy.

Your last chance.

Right, what say I go and pick Tiff and Morgan up from Ray's,

and we all go out for a nice little

ritzy bit of pudding somewhere, eh?

My treat. Maybe a snifter or two for the more mature ones?

-Sounds like a plan.

-Right,

Good. Then I shall be back in a jiffy.

THEY LAUGH

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd