22/11/2012 EastEnders

Do you want a cup of tea?

Tan?

Where's your head at this morning?

You all right?

You've barely said a word since yesterday.

Why can't I just learn to leave things alone, eh?

She did warn me. But, no, I thought I knew best.

-What are you talking about?

-Mum.

-Oh, right.

What's she done now?

Max. She didn't have anyone, you know.

She had to go through it all on her own.

Sorry, just hold that thought, all right?

Lauren? What happened to these flyers I asked you to do yesterday?

-Oh. Yes. Next on my list, I promise.

-No, no, no. No list.

-You're going to stay here till the job's done.

-What about Joey?

-Jack's asked if he can help him out at the gym.

-Yep. Unlucky.

-Well, you can't keep me here against my will.

-Joey, tell her.

Sooner you get them done, sooner you'll be out.

See? Listen to him. Good influence. Come on.

Won't take you that long.

-Where are you going?

-To put things right.

# She gets too hungry

# For dinner at eight

# She likes the theatre

# But never comes late

# She... #

KNOCK AT DOOR

I hope you've brought your hipflask!

You look nice.

Patrick's taking me to a swing band over in Greenwich.

Oh, that's a shame.

I was hoping we might be able to spend the afternoon together.

Me and you?

Why not?

It's not really us, is it?

Sitting down to do a jigsaw?

I was thinking more along the lines of my wedding cake.

We're on a bit of a budget, aren't we?

And I thought if we start the fruit cake now

then we've only go to do the icing nearer the time.

I hope you've been practising your moves, you know,

because these hips of mine are ready for some gyrating...

-Oh. Tanya.

-Hiya.

I was hoping to spend some quality time with my mum.

I told her we've got plans.

Why don't the both of you just go off and have some fun?

Anyway, look, those Rat Pack boys we were going to see,

they don't have a patch on the Mighty Sparrow.

Come on. What have you done?

Eh? I haven't done anything.

Honestly, Mum!

Can't I just spend a bit of quality time with you

without the third degree?

All right.

Give me a minute to get out of this.

Great. I'll see you at mine.

-All right, love?

-What were you doing in Dalston?

I was...just...thinking of sending Oscar there, that's all.

-What?! It's miles away.

-I was just doing a bit of research. It's no big deal.

Yeah, but Dalston?! Come on.

All right, stop going on about it. It's not happening, so...

Anyway. Never mind all that.

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Um, that would be a big fat nothing.

No boy on the scene?

What? Why would you say that?

I don't know. There's just something different about you.

-Like what?

-A glow, maybe.

Uh. Yeah. That's probably Lucy's new fake tan or something.

Yeah. Yeah, probably.

All right, Lauren. Clear the table, will you, please?

Yes, cos I'm all done now. So, is my house arrest over?

Yeah. Go on. Clear off.

SHE CHUCKLES

Dalston(!)

What's she talking about?

No idea. What are you doing?

I've got the accountant on my back, ain't I? Keeps telling me to sort the books.

-No, you can't do that there.

-Why?

Cos my mum's coming round to bake a cake.

Yeah. Pull the other one.

It's true!

DOORBELL RINGS

-You all right?

-Yeah, you?

-Yeah.

So, you going to come down the gym, see Joey in action?

Yeah, I might as well, yeah. Seeing as Tanya's turfed me out.

Tan. Got the launch of this new boxing scheme,

if you fancy coming along?

-No, you're all right.

-She's got her lover coming round.

Just make sure he does his accounts. Thank you.

It's like a knife through the heart.

-See you.

-Have fun.

-See you later.

Well, I blame Ray, myself. All that talk about jujitsu.

-It's self-defence.

-Yeah, whatever!

I warned you about him, didn't I?

Yeah? But you had to go find out for yourself, didn't you?

Now, don't get all upset. Eh?

I only told you this so that you wouldn't get hurt later.

Now come on. I'm your old man.

I'm supposed to look after you, ain't I? Eh?

-Oi, oi. What's he done now?

-Do you mind?

We're having a father-daughter moment here, thank you very much.

I've got to be somewhere.

I hope he ain't taking advantage of your old man's hospitality?

What's that supposed to mean?

I saw him in an alleyway over there yesterday with some bit of skirt.

Right rough sort as well, by the looks of her.

Get off on it, did you?

HE CHUCKLES

I warned Max.

I said, "That boy's beyond help.

"He's damaged goods."

HE CHUCKLES

Oh, I don't know how he gets away with it.

If he's not picking on Lucy then he's winding my mum up.

And my dad just sits there and does nothing.

One day he's going to get what's coming to him. Trust me.

Still, it's nice. A bit of companionship at their age.

I've forgotten sultanas.

You never know. There could be a double wedding, couldn't there?

What's this about a wedding?

Patrick and Cora.

-You're as good as family.

-That's just what I was saying.

Although what he sees in old iron knickers when there's prime beef across the street...

THEY LAUGH

OK. What we got there? That's...£10.60, please.

It was in here yesterday.

Oh, always losing my purse. Where did you last have it?

Um... Well, I had it yesterday lunch, cos I got some petrol.

-I expect one of your lot swiped it.

-I doubt that very much.

Well, look, you can pay me later then, yeah?

-Do you mind?

-No!

-Oh, sorry.

-It's fine.

You know, we should get together some time. Make a night of it.

-Yeah, that'd be great.

-Yeah. I'll text you some dates later.

OK, thanks. Bye.

So, listen, I've got the council coming at two,

so I want to put a little something together for them.

Show them what this scheme is all about

and what we're hoping to achieve. That kind of thing.

I thought Alice was meant to be helping you?

Well, she didn't show, did she?

So, listen, my plan is to try and get some boys in the ring.

Then we'll show the progress we're making.

Ah. Just in the nick of time!

Line them up, boys. Yeah.

-What're you doing with that?

-What's it look like, Sherlock?

Tanya's gone and chucked me out.

If that ain't an excuse for a session, I don't know what is.

Guys, I've got the Gazette coming in a couple of hours.

I need you guys sober.

Ray. This is your scheme, innit?

I'm just in it for the free publicity.

-Where are you going?

-Huh?

Oh, um...the steel erector's gone and wet the bed.

-So, I've got to change the sheets.

-What about the launch?

You can knock them out. You know...

Yeah?

I can't find it anywhere.

I'd cancel those cards if I were you.

Otherwise, you're going to be paying for a family of four

to come over from Kazakhstan.

It'll turn up. So, how are we getting on?

We're going to need more rum.

I'm sure Patrick can help us out with that.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-Nothing. It's just...

things seem to be hotting up between you two.

That's what Denise said.

-We're just friends.

-Yeah.

You're in a funny mood today. What's up?

450 grams of self-raising. Yeah? Does that seem right to you?

It reminds me of the time you and Rainie broke my mother's vase.

You set up a pretend salon in the back garden to distract me.

Poor Rainie was upstairs trying to glue it together.

I don't remember.

The problem was, Rainie could always get away with it.

That girl could lie her way out of anything. But you...

It's written all over your face.

I'm sorry.

What have you got to be sorry about?

I didn't realise how hard it was for you.

We all had it hard, darling.

The sleepless nights.

The boys...and the drugs, the drink...

It's all part of growing up.

You were a good mum to us, you know.

I'm glad to hear it.

I do love you.

What about...

..we make a start on soaking the fruit in the booze, eh?

Yeah, let's do that. Yeah.

What's up with Pops?

It's her sister. Tansy.

Oh, my God. Has something happened?

No, you drama queen. She's just coming to visit. That's all.

And that's a problem why, exactly?

Because she thinks I'm a successful shellac nail technician

with my own salon, a penthouse apartment and two designer dogs.

Why did you say all that?

Because she's got everything.

A fiance, an ISA, not so much as a split end.

And do you know what makes it worse? She's three years younger than me.

Pops. So you told a little porkie?

She ain't going to find out, is she?

No. You don't know Tansy. She's like a bloodhound.

She's worked out the murderer before Miss Marple's out of her armchair.

THEY LAUGH

Well, that's unless...

Unless what?

Well, Tanya's spending the day with her mum

and I'm all alone in the salon.

I'm talking, like, two hours, tops.

To do what?

-Pretend to be my staff?

-And why would we want to do that?

-Plus, I'm here all day.

-And I've got nursery this afternoon.

Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.

-Hey, Pops, listen...

-I'll just say there's been a mix-up.

It's fine. I'm sure she'll understand.

What is wrong with you? I thought that girl was supposed to your girl?

Know what I mean? I thought we were the E20 massive and crew, here.

That girl is mental.

Listen, Luce. It wasn't that long ago you was in trouble. Right?

And where was we, eh? Right by your side.

All right, Tans? Yeah, hiya.

You'll never guess what.

I've only gone and got my dates muddled up.

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah, I know.

Um, in Ongar, of all places.

Yeah, that's right. It's somewhere in Essex, apparently.

Well, I just met your double, then.

So you reckon you can keep up with the little street rats?

Yeah, well, we ain't all past it, Uncle Jack.

I could show you a trick or two in this ring, boy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. If it weren't for the bullet in his head.

Remember. You're in the presence of greatness,

and don't you forget it.

-Don't show us up.

-This one's for you, Jimmy.

Good boy!

You know what, I can see a bit of me in him.

He's better looking.

I don't get what Derek's beef is with him.

He's just got it in for him, ain't he?

It's his loss, ain't it?

Go on, son.

Thought you were meant to be helping me out?

Cos I'll do anything you say, won't I?

Cos I'm just some little girl with a stupid crush.

What are you talking about?

My dad told me what you said about me.

How you were laughing at me.

I'd never do that, Alice.

So...why did he say you did?

You'll have to ask him about that.

I didn't mean to dazzle you.

It's just this rock's so big, it keeps catching the light.

Oh, Tansy!

I didn't want to say anything.

Poor old Pops.

Always unlucky in love.

Me and Mum have been working on mood boards.

Think Will and Kate, but much classier.

Sounds lovely.

Oh, it will be!

Er, I'll get the drinks then, yeah?

I should be thanking you.

The money we'll save not having to pay for a plus one.

Ah, there you are! I'm sorry I'm late.

You know what it's like in the Hong Kong offices.

Excuse me, where are my manners? Arthur Chubb.

Poppy never said.

We don't spend as much time together as we'd like.

One of the pitfalls of seeing somebody in asset management.

The usual, please, Maureen.

What's that? A coke and two straws?

HE LAUGHS

What is she like, eh?

No, no, no. A bottle of Sauvignon, please. The Argentinean one.

Alfie don't pay you to sit on your backside.

You'll have to forgive her. It's tragic what old age can do.

-I think Lauren's got a new boyfriend.

-That's good.

Well, she denied it all.

Of course she did. You're her mother.

I could see it, you know, in her face.

Maybe it's a good thing. Keep her on the straight and narrow.

Mmm. Let's hope so.

Then again...

If he's anything like the puddings you and Rainie brought home,

you're in trouble.

Do you remember the first time you met Max?

How could I forget? He sold me a dodgy insurance policy.

What did you think of him?

He was a married man with a child. What do you think?

Still. You grew to love him, didn't you?

That's one way of putting it.

Ava's father...

Long gone.

That's hot enough now.

We should do this more often.

What? Open a bakery?

Spend time together.

If that's what you want.

Is it what you want?

I suppose the odd afternoon wouldn't hurt.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I'll get it.

It's probably Lauren. Forgotten her key.

I looked for your purse. It's not upstairs.

Who is it, Mum?

-Hiya. All right?

-Hiya. You said to pop in anytime, didn't you?

-Did I?

So, how you doing, Mamma C? Or do you prefer plain old Ma?

Zainab's covering, so thought we'd make an afternoon of it.

Oh, right. We're baking a cake actually.

-Well, look no further. B in Home Economics, this one.

-Yeah.

As for me...

Let's just say that my dumplings are in a league of their own.

Mmm! Smells good!

Well, this is nice, isn't it?

Fancy not inviting your own brother to a party?

Oi, you walked out, eh? Anyway, it's only a few beers.

It still hurts, Jack.

Mind you, I'm getting used to that,

what with you inviting him to be your best man...

Here we go. Get out the violins.

-Go on, Del. Grab a beer.

-Yeah, go on.

-You seen your boy out there?

-All right, ain't he? Packs a punch.

All I know is that he's treading on very thin ice.

Look what I found lurking out in the street.

-Hello, Patrick.

-Patrick.

You sorted out your domestic with Tanya yet, have you?

-Tanya?

-I saw them in the street getting in a car yesterday.

-Right little adventure, looked like you...

-On an errand for Cora. It's all sorted out now, OK?

-I bet you was handy with your fists back in the day.

-Don't write me off yet, son.

I mean, I could teach Derek a thing or two about how to fight like a man.

I'm surprised you've got any energy left, Patrick.

All the effort you're putting into pulling my mother-in-law.

-You copped a feel yet?

-Respect, son. All right?

Whoa, whoa, what's the matter with you?

Guys, guys, guys, please! Can you not keep it down, man?

I've got the Gazette coming at any time.

-You're lucky I'm not inviting you to step outside, you.

-Oi. What you talking about?

The way he's leading on a little girl on like that. My little Alice.

This is John Edwards from the Walford Council.

Mr Edwards. It's a pleasure.

Please, this way.

Do you know how long I've been sourcing

for the right colour scheme for my wedding?

Lilac, lavender and deep plum, if you must know.

I'm not having you two coming along and stealing my thunder.

-Oh, we're not getting married.

-You better not be.

Is that the time? That trading floor ain't going to run itself.

I thought you said you were in asset management.

-Same thing.

-It's not, you know.

My Gareth's worked in the City for three years.

Excuse me.

-Maureen, is it?

-Depends on who's asking.

What does he do?

He used to fry chicken.

Now he flogs knock-offs for the landlord.

I can just see it now.

All of us sat round a table on Christmas Day.

Dee carving the turkey, Max pulling a cracker.

One big happy family.

Imagine that.

It's a good thing Jack knocked you back, ain't it, Dee?

What you...? Jack did not knock me back!

Yeah, but it'd be a bit, like, incest, though, wouldn't it?

How's Ray getting on?

Oh! Let me tell you, that man is a saint.

What he wouldn't do for those hoodies.

He's like a black Lady Di.

We were just saying, weren't we, Kim?

We should think about starting up the book club again.

Didn't you and Sharon meet up last Tuesday?

That's funny.

No-one mentioned it to me or Zainab.

Is it any wonder?

Dee's idea of a book is an old copy of Smash Hits.

See now, that's beautiful, innit?

Mother and daughter spending time together.

I think you might want to slow down on the old vino there, Kim.

You've got a good one there, Cor.

Haven't I just?

Me and Dee, we weren't that close to our mum.

Speak for yourself!

You know what? I'd give anything to have what you two have.

Alice, can I have a word?

The presentation will be starting in about 20 minutes.

Please help yourselves to refreshments.

Alice, please?

Look, let me explain. I got my wires crossed.

I'm only trying to protect you.

-I don't need protecting!

-Well, I can see that now.

Why did you say all that stuff about Ray?

I don't know...

I was jealous. All right?

The way you keep looking up to him all the time.

-He's my friend.

-Let's just hope it stays that way.

-You're doing it again!

-Is he bothering you?

-Thank you, Joey.

Alice?

Are we all right now? Please?

Ray needs me.

Alice?

Cheer up, Pops.

There's no shame in admitting you're struggling, is there?

Two teas, please.

Some people just dream too big.

I...I didn't mean to lie to you, Tans...

Thank God you're here!

Lucy's gone and mucked up some posh woman's highlights.

Her hair's coming out in chunks.

They're insisting on talking to the manager.

So, I didn't know what to say.

I'm so sorry about this, Tans...

I was hoping I could've just left my staff to get on with things,

but obviously not, so...

The plan is to get the kids into the sport and off the streets.

Come on. Get your back into it!

This ain't Million Dollar Baby, you doughnut.

He ain't all that, you know.

His stance is all wrong.

Go on, son!

I hate watching him up there.

-Is he winning or what?

-I'm not really sure.

All right, Lauren? What are you doing here?

I just like to see what the local cavemen get up to of an afternoon.

-It's the sport of kings, Lauren.

-Yeah, morons, more like.

All right, time! Nicely done, Joey.

Joey here's helping us put the boys through their paces.

As you can see,

he's a shining example of what this project's all about.

But obviously, ultimately, it's all about children.

Trying to get them in...

You can say all you want, Joey.

-But she's always going to come running back to me.

-Is that right?

What can I say? She loves her old man.

And who can blame her, eh?

Well, that is heart-warming, Derek. It really is.

You stick the knife in. But some bonds are unbreakable.

So, everyone pays a sub per session

which goes towards the running of the club.

-What's wrong with you, eh, Derek?!

-Joey!

-Joey!

-What've you done to him?

-I haven't touched him.

Please, ladies and gents, don't be put off.

I'm sure Joey just took a little knock, that's all.

-What's happened? Joey...

-How could you do this?

I didn't touch him. He did it on the locker door. I swear.

Take him outside, eh? Get some fresh air.

Joey, tell them what you did.

Don't even try it, all right? Don't even try it!

You've gone too far this time, Derek.

I didn't touch him! I swear, Jack.

Now THAT'S the sister I should've had.

I'm sorry?

I'm not being funny, but the girl oozes class.

What? Am I some sort of tramp then, am I?

Oh, why are you so dramatic?

Oh, will you look at that?!

Now, THAT is team work.

Right, so, I'm sorry you couldn't stay any longer.

Yeah. I should get back to the gym. Show Ray some support.

You know where we are.

Cup of sugar, one of my designer tops...

One of Dee's cardies. Cor. Ra.

What's ours is yours now, sis.

Mind how you go.

-I thought they were never going to leave.

-Talk about hard work!

I mean, when does she breathe, eh? She never shuts up.

KNOCK AT DOOR WHISPERS: Do you think she heard me?

Where're you going?

Shop. She's right about one thing. We do make a good team.

We deserve a cheeky bottle of wine. I'll leave you to them.

Come back here!

Can I help you?

I'm looking for a Tanya Cross.

She left this yesterday.

Oh, thank goodness!

We've been looking all over the place for this.

Don't go. She'll be back in a minute.

She'll want to thank you personally.

All right. Five minutes won't hurt.

The kettle's just boiled. Can I tempt you?

-I never say no to a cuppa.

-A woman after my own heart!

And we're looking to branch out next year, into laser hair removal.

Aren't we, girls?

Poppy said she'd sponsor us for college. Didn't you?

Pops ...

Yeah. Yeah, you've got to invest in your staff, don't you?

Give a little back.

I want to be the girl who sweeps up hair.

Everything's just perfect for you, isn't it?

Oh.

Tansey.

Babe, what you crying for?

You're the one with a fiance and a colour scheme.

We split up three weeks ago.

He was seeing a girl from Lewisham.

Lewisham? That's terrible. Why didn't you say anything?

You've got it made, Pops.

I really haven't, you know.

This isn't even my salon.

I'd worked that one out myself. Who would employ those two?

There's no defending those roots.

I'm talking about Arthur.

It's obvious he likes you.

Oh, no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just really good mates.

I'm sorry, so you're telling us he's going to all this trouble

-cos you're just mates?

-And I thought I was the stupid one.

-Should we call an ambulance?

-Stop fussing, will you, yeah?

You might have concussion!

Alice, it's going to take more than a punch from Derek to bring me down, all right?

I still can't believe he did this.

I can. He's a thug.

Just go home and pack your bag, yeah?

I'm going to take you back to Mum's.

What's the matter? Eh?

Oh, come on, Alice. Is this not enough for you?

Just give me five minutes. I'll be straight over.

-Let me see this.

-Not here. Come on.

What was that for?

That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Uh...

I'd better get back to the...

You know, the responsibilities of running a business...

Right. Um... So...

I'll see you around?

-Mm.

-Yeah?

Yeah? OK.

Fats...?

You remembered the mouthwash.

Yes! Yes.

Yes, yes.

I'll see you...around.

-It really hurts.

-Stop moaning!

It does, it hurts.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-Shall I fix you?

-Yeah.

You're a teacher, you say?

Yeah, that's right. In Dalston.

So that's what today's been about.

Buttering me up to spring this on me.

Oh, I think I might have said too much.

Don't worry. It was going to come out in the end.

DOOR SLAMS Mum?

We're in here.

I think you've got some explaining to do.

I'm sorry.

You didn't think I had a right to be consulted?

Eh?

Moving to Dalston without so much as a family meeting?

You left your purse at my school yesterday.

If it hadn't been for this Good Samaritan, I would've known nothing about it.

I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?

Ava. Ava Hartman.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd