12/02/2013 EastEnders

It's freezing out there. I dunno how my fingertips ain't fallen off.

You've come home to get warm?

No, I've come home to get my son's backside to school. Liam!

The stall was really slow yesterday. You can't spend the morning babysitting him.

-Maybe you could do it, then.

-Can't. I've got to get to work.

What's more important - the stupid caff or your grandson?

Liam messed up, I get it. Don't you think you're overreacting?

See you later, kids!

I hope, if I work hard and remain focused,

to one day...

become a full-time market inspector.

See? Flattery, insincerity - everything an employer's looking for.

Think I'll wear that tie that mum bought me.

You know what she'd say if she were here?

-AS ZAINAB:

-This job is just a tiny pebble in life's golden beach.

She wouldn't say that.

Oh! Your five-year plan. They always ask you that!

Dad, it's bad enough I have to go to this interview,

without pretending it's my life's goal.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

OK. How about you? You're a single man now - any long-term plans?

I haven't had time to, er...

Good job I'm the one with the interview, then.

Finally!

You look nice.

Yeah, well, I'm going as Nicole Sherbet-dip's body double today.

I'm being serious!

Don't be a creep, Liam. I'm still fuming with you.

B, could you run through my interview quickly?

Why didn't you ask me to do this last night?!

I did try but you were too busy having a go at him, then you fell asleep on the sofa.

-Whit, I'm going to be late for work.

-All right, fine.

-You'll nail it. You look beautiful. You're going to school today, Liam.

-What d'you think this is for? This?

-OK.

-And you're way prettier than that Nicole bird.

-You all right, Ray?

-Yeah. Listen, Morgan's going to need these for tomorrow.

-What's wrong?

-SHE SIGHS

It's just Liam.

He's been bunking off and he don't realise how serious it is.

Well, tell him.

What - that I could be sent back to prison?

I don't want to freak the kids out. It's took me this long to put the family back together again.

-Let me have a word.

-You know what he'll say... "You ain't my dad."

Nah, nah, I won't give it the old father-and-son chat. This'll be man to man.

Hey, where you going?

-Just going to get me newspaper.

-The curtain in the living room is dragging on the floor -

-can you fix it?

-Can it wait until I come back, all right?

-It looks like a crack house from the street!

-Yeah, but if it wait until...

-Am I all right to...

-Joey! Patrick, you go for your little walk.

-I'm sure Joey will help me out.

-What's that?

I need somebody big and handy to sort out my droopy curtain.

-Yeah, look, now, man, I said I'll do it...

-There's a breakfast in it for you if you like.

-Yeah. Yeah, all right.

-Follow me.

See? Droopy curtains.

Scrambled eggs?

I really have to get to school, you know.

I thought you weren't bothering with all that.

So, what? You going to go full time at the chicken shop?

Might join the Army.

Go work somewhere hot.

You're a funny guy.

Look, no offence, yeah?

You're all right and that but...

you're not my dad.

Yeah, you're right.

Cos if I was your dad, you'd be too scared to skip school.

-Lucky Morgan(!)

-Mate, believe it or not, I've been there, yeah?

No dad. Mum tries her best but gets it wrong.

-You dissing my mum?

-Look, let me tell you something.

I'm trying to do her a favour!

She asked you to talk to me?

She don't believe a word I say.

I thought you might actually like talking to a man for a change.

About what?

I dunno. School? Girls? Life?

There is something, actually.

I hate scrambled eggs.

You want sauce?

-I'm glad someone's got breakfast.

-Toast in the toaster.

No, it's burnt and there's no more bread.

What do you want - red or brown? Say brown.

-How come he gets that?

-Milk's off.

Will you lot stop whining? I've been up from stupid o'clock washing your sheets.

-PHONE BLEEPS

-This is a bed and breakfast, Kim - the least you can do is breakfast.

-Give me a minute - we're doing maintenance.

-That's Sharon. I'd better go.

-No, Joey, look, it's still...

-I'll sort it later, yeah?

-Joey, please!

Happy now?

Look at that!

Right, can I have that bacon roll?

What's all this racket? And what's burning?

Kim's excuse for breakfast.

Patrick, don't start! It's not your problem!

Yeah, because you're too busy making eyes at the young boy.

I said, mind your business!

-Lauren!

-What are you doing?

-Are you going to clear this place up? I've got homework to do.

-Yeah, so have I.

I heard you tell Whitney you've got none all week.

I'll ring Mum.

She's gone, remember? They both have.

I'm going back to sleep.

-Who lives in a B&B anyway?

-You what?

Oh. Yeah, well, you run it - that's different.

I kinda like living there, you know?

There ain't no cooking, no cleaning, no taking out the bins.

They're places people pass through. Give us that chair, will you?

Oh. Yo, yo, yo... Wait, wait.

Come on now, man, I can lift a chair, you know.

-I know, but why should you?

-Because it's my job.

But they only give you a couple of rums - they're paying me.

You just take it easy, Mr T, all right?

I can't wait to retire. I'm going to spend my whole time sunbathing and watching horror films.

Look, now, man, I am not retired -

it's my job!

So can I get on with it, please?

There you are.

All right, darling.

We'd better do something quick or we're going to lose this pitch.

Liam moans about not having the right clobber, the right trainers.

-I reckon that's why he don't like school.

-Kids always find something to moan about -

the colour of your hair, your mum's wallpaper.

My mum had really bad taste in wallpaper.

-I do reckon if I had loads of cash and he looked the part, he'd behave himself.

-You reckon(?)

When they're Tommy's age, you can't believe they could give you this much grief.

The amount of things that Tommy's been through, yeah,

he's going to grow up to be a teenager from hell.

You are lucky that Alfie's there to keep him on the straight and narrow.

I'm lucky that Alfie's there? Yeah(!)

I'm only joking! You're a great mum.

No wonder we're not shifting this stuff!

Just hope he knows that I tried my best.

Me too.

Listen, you be all right here for a minute?

Well, it's not exactly the January sales at Harrods, is it? Where you going?

All right?

Hi.

Now, er...

Now, either you can't tell the time or you've got a drinking problem.

I'm not here for a mojito.

I definitely know the big hand from the little hand.

Right. So, what? You lost, then, are you?

I'm here to make you very happy.

I'm very hard to please.

And I don't give up easy.

Joey, I've got a few calls to make and then...

-Er, yeah.

-You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, I reckon I've got this one covered. Thanks, Sharon.

So, er, tell me more.

I've survived childbirth

and God knows how many Royal Variety Performances - I think I can cope.

-OK, well, I'll be back for the lunch rush.

-Yes.

-You OK?

-Yeah, I guess.

When did kids get to be so cocky?

Bianca practically told me I was a loser earlier.

Tamwar asked me about my five-year plan.

-And?

-I'll start with a cup of tea, please.

Sweeping the streets? I can't imagine you sweeping the streets.

It's just a small fraction of the job.

-How small a fraction?

-Massive!

You know what? A job's a job, innit?

They're paying you, so who cares?

Yeah, but you've always wanted to be a...

play worker person.

I'm so nervous.

Dunno why - it's only a week's work at the play centre.

-What about you? How you feeling?

-Um...

like my life is over before it started.

Drama queen!

Er, can you learn to knock? I could've been doing anything.

Oh, yeah, like what?

Sorry. But listen, this girl outside...

Where are the Valentine's flyers?

Eh? Er...

Cos there's none out on the Square

-and we've sold eight tickets, Joey. Eight.

-Yeah. No, I know, Sharon,

but I was going to do it on the way to work but then Kim stopped me...

-Oh, Kim?

-Yeah.

-If you spent less time flirting with the customers..

-Yeah, that...

..and messing about with Kim when you should be doing your job,

I wouldn't have to tell you off, would I?

Are you telling me off?

You know, this job ain't some place you use to jazz up your social life.

The way you carry on, you're losing me cash rather than making it.

Oh. Is that right, is it, yeah?

Right now, Joey, you might be a luxury I can't afford.

Thank you.

Yeah, right.

Door!

DOOR SLAMS

Coffee when you're ready, Carol.

And for me, as well. Working hard again?

I've been grafting all morning, actually.

What you going to do now?

Pick a winner in the 2.15 from who knows where?

Oi, Patrick's worked his whole life for the right to take it easy.

Yeah, retirement's the reward for all that graft.

Hey, I'm not in the knacker's yard yet, you know.

There's Kim complaining about having too much work and I can't get enough.

It's not easy these days, is it?

Look at your Tamwar - it's a real shame, isn't it?

Boy with his brains sweeping the streets.

Mm. Means to an end.

I might get that tattooed on my forehead - keep him going. And me.

It's like Bianca - rubbish boyfriends, rubbish jobs.

Prison. Feel like I've failed. It's like history repeating itself.

Is this where you tell me you've served time?

You know what? I think I'd enjoy the break!

Anyway, she seems determined to make a go of this stall.

So maybe things are on the up. There you go.

Is, er... Is that burning?

Oh, no!

I'll have to start all over again! Lucy is going to go mad.

You...

Oh!

You're forgetting, you are in the company of an experienced purveyor of aromatic delicacies.

Oh!

Told you I'd make you happy.

Yeah, I know.

Right, come on, then.

Unbelievable.

Oh, Sharon, this is Meesha.

Yeah, I remember from when you were entertaining her earlier on my time.

-Now you're doing it with my champagne!

-Just listen to me for a second, please, Sharon.

You wanted me to earn my wages, yeah? Tell her, please, Meesha.

Wedding planning. Top to toe, from hen dos through to honeymoons.

We'd love to have R&R on board as a venue.

Weddings?

Yeah. Why not? We can get ourselves a wedding licence.

But for now, Meesha's just sorted us out a joint do, for stag and hen, for 40 people.

They're local and don't want to be trekking into town and back. This place is perfect.

Really? When?

-Tomorrow.

-We can't. Tomorrow's the Valentine's party.

-That we've sold eight tickets for.

-But there's too much to organise -

-we'd have to get it decorated, bring in loads of...

-All you need to do is keep the drinks flowing.

And enjoy the sound of money going into the till.

Think you'd better get me a glass, Joey. Well done, babe.

When we make our first mill,

Terri Singlehurst'll be the first one to get a free drink.

Who's Terri Singlehurst?

This girl who used to go to my school. She had a massive crush on my stepdad.

She married this geezer with a warehouse in Hackney. She's only given me the whole lot for 50 quid.

You're kidding!

We shift these, Liam can get them silly trainers he wants, no problem.

-Look at that - that's lovely.

-I know! 50 quid!

-50 quid!

Tam needs to start studying now - better himself.

A little bit of sugar.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I feel so guilty.

It's not your fault.

Only loaded people can put their kids through college these days.

My Anthony couldn't have made it through medical school

without his student grant, you know. See you.

-See you later.

-Er...salt.

-Yeah.

Thank you. So I sit and watch my son rot in a dead-end job until he can afford it too?

It gets me so angry!

Stir.

What you doing?

Hungry? Want something to eat?

I'm fine.

I'm skint anyway.

Get a chicken pie or something?

Why does no-one listen to me? I'm not hungry!

Er, I do nothing but listen to you.

I know how many guinea pigs you've had,

I know how long turtles are pregnant for...

I meant no-one cares what I want.

You don't want a pie?!

Jay, I've got all this to do, the house is a tip,

Lauren doesn't give a damn.

My dad obviously doesn't, and my mum - my mother - won't even answer her phone.

-Starting to realise you're the odd one out in the family.

-That meant to make me feel better?

Because you're beautiful...

..and brainy and more mature than all of them put together.

Keep talking.

It ain't going to be for ever.

We'll have our own place soon, then you can have all the peace you want.

Yeah, until you get home.

Just...take a deep breath

and rise above it.

Carol, can I have a chicken pie with two forks, please?

Yeah, yeah. In a minute.

I'm starving.

That is actually lovely curry.

Told you - it's Zee's family recipe.

You got to stop looking at what you can't do...

and focus on what you can.

Are we still talking curry here?

We are most definitely talking curry.

There you go. Cheers, darling.

Here y'are. Few more months of this and I reckon we can have ourselves a little holiday.

-How about Marbella?

-You been on the alcopops again?

I'm going to make my little man proud of his mum. You got to aim high, Bianca Butcher.

I'll go and get us a couple of little jacket spuds then, shall I?

-That's aiming high!

-PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Yeah.

OK.

SHE SIGHS I'm going to kill him.

Right. I think we're done.

Yeah. I'll have a little bit.

-Mm!

-What do you think?

Now, what would that Jamie Oliver say? Pukka.

Ha-ha! Pukka.

Do you think Lucy'll go for it?

She's her father's daughter - long as there's a few quid in it, of course she will.

-I hope so.

-You know, me and you are going to show our kids -

they're not the only ones going places.

-You seen Liam?

-Why, ain't he at school?

No, he seems to have an allergy to the place.

-He having problems?

-He will have!

He swore to me - he promised me - he'd go there today.

Come on, Bianca. All kids bunk off now and again. I did it.

Don't tell me Carol never had a visit from the wag man.

-Think you know it all, don't you, Shirl?

-You know what, I'm going to say it before you do, yeah?

I was a rubbish mum. But this? This is no big deal.

Well, it is to me!

You on some kind of mission to prove you're mum of the year?

-You're winding me up, ain't you? I'm going.

-Your kids have paid for what you did

and now you're making 'em pay again, going all Gestapo on them.

No wonder Liam's skipping school. Next thing, he'll be skipping your house.

-Yeah, he will. That's right, cos the social'll be slinging 'em in a kids' home!

-What?

I'm on probation, Shirl. And if he carries on the way he does,

they're going to end up putting me back in prison, if you really want to know why I'm angry!

Come on, it's all right. Sit down.

STEREO PLAYS: # I won't think about

# All the things that could go wrong

# Nothing left to shout... #

Yes! Come on, you want some? Get it down you.

Look, we're on our own now. Let your hair down.

Do you not miss them?

Do you not care that we're totally ripped apart?

Again.

Least we agree on one thing, eh?

Our family is completely screwed.

It's not like they ain't tried to work it out, Abi.

I've got friends and they don't even remember their parents ever being together.

-And that's horrible.

-That's what I'm saying. Dad's only over the road,

Nan's in the laundrette and Mum and Oscar will be back.

The way we've grown up - all together, well...

-..it's over.

-Don't say that.

I hate it, too. Course I do. But...

..now the only thing we can actually do is just...

..carry on as normal.

That boy thinks the world of you.

Otherwise he'd have done what I asked.

Then maybe you should have a chat with him about prison. Bet that'd get his bum back there.

Just cuts me up even thinking about it.

I'd never want the kids to know what it's really like in there.

Being inside?

I still have nightmares about being in there.

I mean, I wake up...

I never thought I'd say this,

but I am just so happy to be back in my house on my Square.

And not in that place.

You have a little bit of a laugh and a joke in there - you have to.

But there are people...

..that are just going to be in there for years.

That just really, really gets to you - y'know what I mean?

I just want to wake up in my bed

with my kids screaming and arguing over the telly,

Whitney nicking my perfume

and my mum moaning like she's always done.

I will do anything not to go back to that place. I mean it.

You ain't going nowhere.

-If you see him, will you tell him I'm looking for him, yeah?

-Yeah.

Thanks, Shirl.

Thanks.

Mm!

It's wicked - and the market traders will love it in this weather.

-And all the numbers work out for you?

-Yeah, definitely.

-I mean, if you can cope with demand if it takes off.

-I'm born ready.

I am trying to hold it together for my kids, including your son,

and you go and stick a time bomb under it!

Whatever you said to Liam, he didn't turn up at school again today!

The boy's just trying to test you, find his way.

If he's disrespecting you, then that's not my fault.

Right, come on. Let's go home...

Er, Carol?

"Free period", eh?

Oh, I hate school. No-one knows what it's like.

You ever wondered what it's like for your mum?

Sometimes you don't know the full picture. You understand?

Bianca - she would never have kicked off like that for nothing.

Think about it, Liam.

Now go home.

And be nice.

For as far back as I can remember, you've always said,

"Don't do what I do. Study, see the world, have a life."

Yeah. So what did you do?

I didn't listen to my mum and dad either.

And look at us. We both left school with no qualifications

and ended up having kids when we were still kids.

-I want better for him, Mum. For all of them.

-So do I.

But, you know, you're really busy on that market stall.

What am I meant to do - sit about all day watching Escape To The Country?

No! I'm just saying, running a business is really hard - it's time-consuming.

He just needs you around.

So what do I do?

Just listen to him. You know, he's... He's still Liam -

he's still your little boy.

It's Zainab's recipe.

I get 50p for every curry sold and Lucy pays for all the stock.

-Sounds good.

-I've been working out ways to cut back.

We can save up to £130 a month -

that's nearly two grand a year!

-How?

-Ah!

No satellite TV, value-line toilet roll, value-line bleach,

washing-up liquid, shower gel - which doubles for shampoo.

No takeaways, no DVDs, computer games, music downloads.

-No magazines, newspapers, cinema, theme parks...

-Dad, stop!

OK?

Why don't we just steal a police car and then just drive it into a court?

Because prison sounds better than that.

It's not for ever. If you get this job and this cafe thing works out,

we'll get you to university in no time.

It's a high-vis vest.

It's MY high-vis vest.

I got the job. I start next week.

Why didn't you say anything?! Well done!

How do you feel?

Relieved. Cos if I hadn't got the job,

you would have had us wearing bin bags for boxer shorts.

You know...Lucy's given me some cash up front.

This is for your first textbook.

-I thought you'd be at work.

-Kat can cope on her own for a couple of hours.

Oh, no, no, no. Smell.

Can't you smell? It's your favourite. Lasagne.

-What, you made it?

-Yep.

-Not from a packet?

-No.

-You put baked beans in?

-Yep. I told you. It's your favourite.

And Ray's got the kids for a little while,

so it's just me and you.

Sit down.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS UPSTAIRS

MUSIC QUIETENS

Well, me and Kat sold about 20 of them.

So was thinking, I'll use my share to buy them new trainers that you want.

-Really?

-Yeah. Want some more?

-Nah.

-You did like it though, yeah?

Yeah, it was well nice.

Been ages since we done this - just me and you - ain't it?

I was thinking before -

we were together on our own a long time before Tiff was born, weren't we?

I used to think it was funny, having a boy as my best mate.

You're so lame.

What? You were.

You thought I was the bees knees, innit?

Still do, though, don't you?

PATRICK HUMS

Sorry I've been a cow.

You've got a lot on your plate.

Unlike me.

Look at that! Eh?

I mean, these young people nowadays -

they don't know how to do a job properly.

Just leave it. I'll get someone in.

Don't tell me you think that I have gone past it and I can't hang up a curtain, huh?

-You're just like the rest of them.

-All I'm saying is, just leave it, you don't need to bother yourself.

Patrick!

HE WHIMPERS

Patrick. Patrick!

You're a good kid, Liam. All right - you're not a kid.

I know that. I know you better than anyone.

In a few more years, if you want to chuck it all away, that's up to you, but not while you're living here.

One afternoon off school and all this?

And what about today?

D'you want to know about today?

I told you I was going to school. But you didn't trust me, did you?

Do you know, that copper said if you don't go school, I could go back to prison?

They might have a welcome-home party.

What did you just say?

I didn't go cos I thought

I may as well be the loser

you think I am.

I don't think you're a loser.

Runs in the family, don't it?

Don't you EVER talk to me like that!

Why? What are YOU going to do?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do!

Tomorrow, I will take you to school

-and I will walk you in that flipping classroom if I have to.

-Yeah?

Try it.

Why are you doing this?

You don't know me better than anyone.

You've been banged up half my life.

You don't know nothing about me!

And if anyone is a waster, chucked their life away,

it ain't me.

It's you.

-I'm warning you now, Liam...

-For my trainers -

you know, I'll buy them myself.

I probably earn more money than you anyway.

And actually, next time, get the proper beans,

not that cheap rubbish.

-That is it! Don't ever talk to me like that!

-Bianca?!

Bianca!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd