30/04/2013 EastEnders

SCARLETT GURGLES

Shall we play tricks?

Uh-oh! What about the big one?

It's love.

Look at him. He won't eat...

..can't sleep...

I am sleeping perfectly well, thank you very much.

-You know I actually still miss Mum.

-I miss your mother...sometimes.

All the time. Every second, OK?

-Not really, no.

-Will you two just leave me alone please?

He was exactly the same with his first girlfriend -

all big puppy eyes and longing.

Took him four weeks to get the guts to make a date.

And are you and Carol Jackson going on a date?

No...no. Well, we said that... Maybe, I don't know.

LAUGHS

Love, I tell you. Chill out, man. Always the same.

Your dad, he won't do nothing.

He'll sit here all day, finally get to speak to her and then bottle it.

-No follow through.

-OK, my food's going to come back up.

It is like having wasps in my ear...

-Will you two just get your own love lives? And then mine won't be so fascinating.

-Harsh. Very harsh.

-Accurate.

-Sadly accurate.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

Come on, darling.

You'll feel better if you just talk about it.

I know you're not asleep cos you're not snoring.

Come on, you and Joey, you've been through rough patches before. You'll work it out.

He ended it, Mum.

Yeah, I know, but I'm sure...

He doesn't trust me.

He doesn't even like me.

Oh, darling.

The only difference between you and him is that he didn't accuse me

of being a thieving junkie.

40 minutes. Janine'll be here in 40 minutes

and she's going to take my house, my daughter.

-There must be something you can do.

-There is. Look.

-Packing your life in a bag and running away?

-What choice do I have?

I've been on the phone since the crack of dawn this morning.

I have explored every single option, every single possibility

and there's nothing.

There's no recourse for someone like me. Go on, phone the police.

You try.

I don't want to call the police.

And what you going to tell 'em?

That a mother wants to come and get her daughter?

Cos that's not a crime, apparently. That's not a crime.

But then they don't know Janine like I do.

If you are not sufficiently familiar

with the rules of acceptable operation...

Did you swallow the manual?

..that is hardly my responsibility.

Do you take it to bed with you, do you?

The rules are there for a reason.

Such a jobsworth. No wonder your wife left you.

You are patently contravening Health and Safety

AND the ex Mrs Lister left me because of her very demanding...

Pomeranian dogs, thank you!

Mr Lister, we're sorry. All right? We're really, really sorry.

But she's had a really hard time lately

with this gang and everything. You must have heard about it.

And now her eldest's son gone to stay with his dad, so...

Come on, you understand.

Lovely, sensitive man like yourself.

We'll move the boxes. We'll move them straight away.

You can find it in your heart to go easy, can't you...?

-Half an hour.

-Max.

I can't believe you're making excuses for me with that git.

-Oh, keep your ginger wig on.

-I'm proud to be a red head, thanks.

Here, look.

THEY LAUGH

The kids are fine, all right? Liam's fine. The fight's over now.

That the best you can do?

Oi, Lister...

Tyler!

Um...nothing.

So I've been there longer than him, so I am officially superior.

Oh, officially superior?

Yes. Anyway, it'll do Dexter good, bit of time on his own. Make him appreciate me when I'm there.

No, no, Alice, no. Because unless I'm on benefits,

I don't qualify for legal aid, you see.

-So Janine can bankrupt me and still win.

-But Spain?

There are other gyms outside of Walford. I'll be fine.

OK. I'll come with you.

I know a few words. I'll come with you, if you want?

Alice... One little girl is enough to take care of.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hello.

Cupcakes.

You left half a hundredweight of them at my house.

Didn't you take 'em in? It's all right, I'll take 'em in.

I called the school office. Cake sale's not till Wednesday.

Oh, well, they'll get a bit dry but...

Sharon, you took my old painkillers out my bin.

Is there something wrong?

Behave, will you? You know he likes you.

There's polite like and then there's like like -

like enough to fix a date like.

My life's not long enough, Mum. It's 2013, you fix the date.

I can't fix a date.

Don't fix a date then. I'll have two teas

-if you can fit me in round your fascinating love life, please.

-Love?

It's mad. It is a mad plan. Nothing's changed.

What if you get sick? What if Scarlett does?

-You going to stop me?

-You can't honestly think you can go on the run with her forever?

And what about Scarlett?

What about all time we spent getting her routines into place?

You know what she's like with change.

What...what about toddler gym and nursery?

What about when she gets older? Her whole world is here.

Why aren't you just fighting for her?

Janine holds all the cards, that's why.

This isn't a game of poker, this is her life.

No, no, this is Janine so this is a game, everything's a game with Janine, OK.

And I'll be damned... I'll be damned if I'm going to lose.

This shouldn't be about who gets the baby,

it should be about what the baby gets.

Michael, for god's sake. Please!

Just...

..so much passion.

And I'm flattered.

I'm so flattered. And if...

A different life, maybe...

But I'm just a crush.

You'll get over me.

DOORBELL RINGS

No, it's not on. I accused Lauren of stealing in her own house.

-I always get migraines.

-Then go to the doctors.

-You know I get migraines.

-Try the chemist.

-I can't afford to be ill.

-You don't go fishing through your mate's bin,

or go through my cupboards to sort out a headache.

I can't lose it! I can't lose it right now, all right?

Be glad I'm leaving.

I have been known to take advantage of these situations.

DOORBELL RINGS

KNOCK AT DOOR

Can you stall them for me?

-Alice, can you stall them for me?

-Yeah.

I am going.

Go on. Go on.

He needs me. Denny needs me.

He don't sleep for more than three hours without having a nightmare.

It's all the change. You've seen how he's been.

I'm all he can trust, Tan.

He needs routine, he needs security, he needs a clean uniform,

the same home. I can't just take to my bed

and hide under the duvet even if my head is pounding and...

I can't concentrate on nothing. And all I think is

what kind of idiot, what kind of stupid, useless, idiot

gets all the way to the day of her wedding

without picking up on one, not ONE, clue?

Why couldn't Jack tell me? What did I do?

You didn't do anything. It's not your fault.

Rooting round in your bin like some skanky junkie,

Tan, it ain't me, it really isn't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's just, Denny had a bad night and my head was pounding and I...

Well, I was clearing up your kitchen

and the painkillers were there in the bin.

And I thought, why not? Save a trip to the chemist.

They'd been chucked away anyway. You didn't need them.

Does Phil know?

About these headaches?

Does Phil know?

It ain't only me my lovely son keeps awake half a dozen times a night.

Lexi's teething and... Phil's a star. I don't know...

He said the same, that I should see a doctor. And I will,

but you know how it is, Tan. One thing saying it,

-another finding the time...

-Yeah. Yeah, but you should.

Migraines, it's probably just hormones, ain't it?

No more second-hand painkillers though, eh? Promise? They're strong.

You could get addicted to them.

I promise. I'm sorry.

You're not the first woman to get involved with a Branning man

and end up with a headache.

So, what you going to do? Fight me? You going to stop me?

Call your posh brief, going to get Billy to come in here

and make me see sense? Go on. You know you want to.

You only care when you get one over on me, don't you?

No-one said anything about fighting.

-I don't want to fight any more.

-That's all you understand

-and I will not have you drag my daughter through it.

-I would never do anything to her.

Controlled crying? Controlled crying?! Are you having a laugh?!

I'm not going to let her be brought up by a paranoid control freak!

-She's my daughter as well, Michael.

-I have grown up. I had to.

You had your chance and you blew it!

This is between us.

Please, Michael...

Mr Lister! Here y'are.

I just want to apologise for my deeply unprofessional behaviour.

That sharp tongue of yours always gets you into trouble.

Between you and me,

a lot of men find strident women downright off-putting...

but...job's done. Finally.

And we've all heard that your home life is currently challenging.

It's good that you've seen the errors of your ways. though.

Maybe now you'll be able to pass on a decent standard of behaviour

to your remaining children so that none of them

get caught up in street gangs or sent away from home.

What are you saying?!

You know what, we were thinking of going into accessories,

you know, for the summer, so I thought I'd just like to give you a little present.

Pair of sunglasses. No hard feelings an' that, eh?

Oh, look, Kat, don't they look lovely?

Yeah, they look lovely.

Cost you a fortune down the high street.

That's very nice. Thank you, but...I can't accept them.

Under council regulations I am not allowed to accept goods

gratis from traders.

Oh, shame.

Least you deserve.

Thanks for the tea.

Oi, Lister...

Tyler!

Um, nothing.

That's enough now. That has to be enough.

Nearly.

GAGS

I don't know about you, but I always get my salt mixed up with my sugar in the cafe.

For God's sake...

See you later.

Hold on, what is this, Breakfast, dinner or tea?

Depends if you mean dinner as in lunch or dinner as in dinner.

What type of tea we are talking?

-Do you know your boyfriend's lazy, innit?

-You know your cousin's gobby, don't ya?

You know what, Dexter? You ain't the boss of me.

I do more in one morning than you do in one day.

I do more in an hour than you do in a morning. You ain't the boss of me, blud.

Will you shut up, "blud"?!

-You want to know what real work is, try studying for an exam.

-Yeah.

OK, you want to know who does the most work?

Next 48 hours, keep a record.

That's education for you, working that out.

And then the loser has to make the tea.

-That'll be the sort of tea that you drink, babe.

-Yeah.

Oh, bye.

I don't need to prove who does the most work, cos I already know.

If you're too scared, that's all you got to say.

I'm sure Phil'll be interested... tea boy.

Just my tea, yeah.

Thanks. Oi...

So, erm, can I get you anything else?

Yeah. You... I'm a bit out of practice at all of this...

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

Hide us. Where's the toilet key?

-Quick!

-Never mind.

Mas! Um, I meant to ask... Well, I...

I don't normally do the asking and there is no problem

if you say no, obviously, but we did say that we would...

-I just wondered if you fancied going for a drink tomorrow?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Mmm-hmm.

Oh, brilliant.

Excellent.

Mum dies...Dad disappears...

One of the many advantages of not living with you any more is

I no longer have to pretend that I'm bothered.

You grow up...

it's inevitable.

Control is going to be an issue. The counsellor reckons, anyway.

Counsellor?

I am trying to make it better.

By breaking my heart?

What heart?

It's all right, I'll go.

Told Denny I'd take him to the park on the way home anyway.

See if I can't wear him out before bedtime. See you later.

All right, where are they?

-Where are they?

-I'm sorry?

-Kat Moon and your...daughter.

-Bianca?

Well, how many daughters have you got working on the market?

Yes, yes. And she does have a name actually, thank you. You...

-you want to start treating Bianca with a bit more respect, as it goes.

-Respect?!

Yeah! You're on her case all the time.

Haven't you got anything better to do?

Huh? Chasing round after young women?

Come on!

And, I won't lie to you, I've told her that she should probably

-get on to the council.

-What?

-Because, Mr Lister,

your behaviour is starting to look suspiciously like a vendetta.

That's... I just want...

Look. If you stop giving her a hard time, she'll behave.

Well, I'll, er...go and see if they're out on the market.

Yes. You do that.

Bianca! Bianca!

Was I born yesterday?

Was I?

You won't last. You can't last. You're too selfish...

And it's boring. It's boring.

It's just full of tedious detail, you're constantly clock-watching.

You don't get a lie in, you don't get to finish a coffee,

-you don't get to finish a sentence.

-You seem to be doing all right.

It will drive you insane, Janine,

because your life is no longer yours.

It's all about the child.

Have you seen the house? It looks like a toy shop.

You get food in your hair. You get sick all over you.

You spend hours and hours and hours in community centres,

church halls with inane housewives bragging and prattling on

about Junior and about his crawling and about his teething,

it's maddening. You don't know any of that.

You haven't been there for any of that.

I'm here now.

Yeah. More importantly - you don't know any of that.

It's my turn, Michael.

This isn't pass the parcel.

It's my turn.

Please, just leave us alone.

You loved me. I know that you loved me.

We all make mistakes.

I can look after my own...

I can look after our daughter. I can look after our daughter.

Please.

Be fair...

You grew up without a mother. You know exactly how that feels.

And I grew up without a mother and our daughter...

Scarlett doesn't deserve that.

You want to give her everything, don't you? I can.

I can give her everything.

It's that one thing that you and I still... We both miss it.

Our baby...

she deserves to know that she does have a mother that loves her.

Doesn't she?

Bullying. Nothing more than arrant, blatant, bullying.

We was only having a laugh.

And you'd accept that? If that was the defence of those bully boys

-who made your son's life such a misery?

-Course not.

I am just a person trying to do my job.

Because of my ex-wife

and her menagerie of dependent high-maintenance dogs...

I am a lynchpin. I need respect.

Undermine me and the whole market collapses like a pack of cards.

-We're sorry, Mr Lister.

-Yeah, sorry, Mr Lister.

So you should be. You are only casual traders.

-It won't happen again.

-No, it won't.

You're not God! You're just a second-rate market inspector.

Well, it certainly won't. You've lost your pitch for three weeks.

-What?

-Mum!

Every action has its consequence.

I was being diplomatic. Do you know how hard it is for me to be diplomatic?

Bigging himself up? Talking to you like that?

Not surprised you put salt in his tea. I'd have done the same.

You can get them on prescription in the States, but here...

Between us, yeah? Quick as you like.

I'm embarrassed, Lauren. I know it wasn't you, darling.

Just another, isn't it, in a long list of your mother messing up.

I wouldn't talk to me either.

Oh, darling, give it a couple of days,

he'll be back round here begging forgiveness.

Like Dad was?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, darling.

Words are just words. "Mum" is just a word.

It's what you do. And my opinion counts. My opinion really counts.

It matters. So that is why, just to clarify,

this Monday is the first access visit. All right? Say yes.

-Yes.

-You don't go to her first thing in the morning,

she's just talking to herself.

And don't forget to put her dummy on the holder

otherwise it gets lost in the cot.

Hi! And don't screw it up...

cos I'll kill you.

Hello. Hey.

Scarlett. Hey.

Oh, it's OK.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd