14/05/2013 EastEnders

Looking forward to seeing you later. Don't be late, yeah?!

-Hi, darling.

-Hey. How you doing?

-Yeah. Good. How is she?

-MADNESS PLAY ON THE RADIO

-# I know that it's you I need

# To take the blues away... #

Nah.

# It must be love, love, love. #

Nice! Still going Ava's then?

Lo, we've been over this. Sharon promised she'd stop taking them.

Like she also promised not to have Lexi on her own?!

Pops, I've just seen 'em, what if it happens again?!

But what are we supposed to do?

Look, Lo, it's natural that you're nervous,

but we're nearly there now! We're on the home straight,

then we're going to get Lexi back for good.

-SHE SCOFFS Yeah, if something don't happen to her first!

-Hey!

Look, you said you took the pills off Sharon yourself.

Yeah, so? She can go and get more, can't she?!

-That's what an addict does.

-Sharon's not an addict.

She's just had a rough time lately.

So how'd you explain her walking round

like a spaced out-robot then, eh? Doing weird things like buying cots

and throwing big Mitchell dinners all of a sudden then?

-Er...it's called being nice?!

-Uh, it's called covering up!

If there's just a tiny bit of you that thinks Sharon's

putting Lexi's life in danger, you wouldn't be standing there ironing,

-would you?!

-All right, all right...

-Calm yourself down, will you?

-Just come, please! I promise

I'll prove to you that Sharon's lying.

-How?

-I dunno. I'll find the pills.

-HE SIGHS

-Lo...

Pops, please. All I'm asking for is one hour, that's it.

All right, if you won't do it for me, will you do it for Lexi then?

Please! Come on!

Special occasion?

-MOBILE RINGS

-Excuse me.

Hi.

Oh, no, we can do it another night if you want...

Yeah, yeah. Eight o'clock's fine.

OK, I'll see you then. Bye.

I wasn't listening. Just...

All right, I was listening.

Was that a fella then, was it? Sorry, sorry.

-It's just a dinner, as mates, really.

-Mates?

Well, Dexter's coming along for a bit, so...

Right. This fella know that, does he?

Well, he's just pushed it back till eight o'clock, so I don't know

if Dexter can hang around that long.

TANYA SIGHS

Ava, all this business with the flat. I'm so sorry about it.

It was a stupid thing to do, I really regret it.

Can we just put it all behind us?

You know what you need? A bit of pampering, get you in the mood.

Come with me.

Get me in the mood?! Come on!

-Right, Peroxide!

-Yes.

Give me the lowdown on this Mitchell dinner.

What comes first, punch-up or pudding?

-Oh, listen, have you been doing your sit-ups?

-Why?

Because, I know it sounds funny,

it's a little family tradition we have, after dinner,

you and Phil have to do naked wrestling in front of the fire!

If it was you, I would!

Oh, Sharon phoned, she wants to know if you like fish?

Yeah, I don't mind fish, as long as it's not fishy fish.

-It's the smell of fish...

-I'll let you tell her that.

Fine, I'll hold my nose and swallow, shall I?

-Yes, mate, what can I get you?

-Mitchell family dinner, eh?

-Shirl, you had a lucky escape.

-Didn't take her long, did it?

Sharon. To get her feet under the table.

It'll be well boring. You know what she's like.

Yeah, poker up the jacksie.

Yeah, she's probably at home right now,

measuring the gap between the cutlery.

Why can't he see through the slap, eh, Rox?

It'll be over soon. Give it a couple of months.

Bovvered!

Ah, Jean, just the woman that I was looking for. For all

your help last week and everything, I'd like to try and repay you.

How would you like to be officially part of the biggest culinary

venture that's come to Walford in, well, I don't know, years?

-You're back on track then, money-wise?

-Yeah.

So is Le Square something you'd be proud to have on your CV?

Really?

Be at mine eight o'clock, yeah?

You ask me, people talk a load of nonsense about pregnancy.

Blooming? Bloomin' tired, more like!

Actually, I'm not that hungry, babe. I'll see you later, yeah?

Yeah, all right.

-Is it something I said?

-No, don't take it personally, no.

-She's all over the place at the moment.

-Hormones.

-Yeah.

-Mind you, Tanya was never like that.

-Oh.

-Plus, she wants to do it all the time.

-Yeah, all right!

You know, you've got to remember it's her first.

Every milestone is massive.

-As soon as she gets the first scan out the way, I'm sure she'll settle down.

-You all right?

-You all right, B? Bring it over, will you?

-Yeah!

Honestly, why my brother thinks I want to know

about his sex life is beyond me.

I mean, there's no boundaries anymore,

it's just all out there, regardless of the audience.

-You jealous?

-Don't be ridiculous.

You are! Masood not doing it for you then?

I'm not having this conversation with you!

SHE LAUGHS There's always Viagra.

-Everything's a joke, innit?

-Have I touched a nerve or something?

-It's none of your business.

-What's not?

-Bianca!

-Has Masood not made a move then, yet?

Thank you, Bianca. Thank you very much.

Right, so what do you think? Maybe a red or a pink?

It's not my thing, really, you know.

I should probably just go and tell Dexter, pass the message on...

Relax. You can do it later. I think pink.

It's a classy one. So, you get that feeling, do you?

-When he looks at you?

-What feeling?

You know!

I dunno, it's been so long.

Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about, don't you?

You get all tingly up the spine. Butterflies.

Nerves like a rock in your stomach. Sounds horrible, really, dunnit?!

-THEY LAUGH

-You know, I don't think it matters how many knocks I've had,

I never will give up on romance.

I gave up a long time ago.

Now, where's an attitude like that going to get you?

Have a top-up.

You are a bad influence.

Cheers.

Internet's better for that sort of stuff.

Don't tar me with your filthy brush. I was looking at the film reviews.

Yeah, yeah! I ain't judging you, bruv. I ain't judging you.

-Dirty boy!

-HE LAUGHS

Humina, humina, humina...

-AJ?

-Hey, beautiful!

Listen, what you heard earlier, don't mention nothing, yeah?

Or, we could take that knowledge and sprinkle a little joy

in the direction of our loved ones! Eh?

It'll be the next ice age before my brother makes a move.

So what I was thinking, yeah, was let's give them a free house,

set the scene and let the mood take them.

Yeah, but it's a bit grubby, innit? Pimping out on your own mother?

Nothing grubby about pursuing one's natural desires!

OK, besides, think about all those happy hormones that are going to

-kick in after.

-Yeah, well, she has been a bit of a moaner lately.

All right, we'll do it at your place, yeah?

-Erm...

-What?

I don't think the aroma of smelly socks is the ideal aphrodisiac.

-What? We're boys.

-All right, my place it is, but you have to take me

-and the kids to the Vic.

-Whoa, whoa, firstly,

why is it your plan now?

And secondly, why can't you just come round to ours?

For one, I'm really bossy, so deal with it!

And two, I don't want to hang out in a stinky boy pit, thanks very much.

So, drop Masood round at eight, yeah?

And remember to bring your wallet.

So hot.

KNOCK ON THE DOOR

-They're early.

-It's all right. It's only family.

-Yeah.

-All right?

-Yeah, yeah, hi, Sharon.

-I didn't expect you so soon.

-Not a problem, is it?

-No, no, course not.

I'm not staying.

The thing is, I've double booked myself, Ava, she asked me round

ages ago and I didn't really want to rearrange...

-Well, you should have said you had a date!

-No, it's not a date date.

Well, maybe it is, I don't know. Anyway, I wanted to show my face.

Oh, it's lovely.

Wanted two cooked meals, more like! Do you want a beer, Bill?

-Yeah. Cheers. Thanks, Phil.

-So, where's Lexi then?

She's upstairs. I just put her down after her bath.

-Aw. I better go and say hello then.

-I'd rather you didn't, darling.

She's just got to sleep,

so why don't you go in and I'll get some nibbles, yeah?

-I swear, that woman...

-Lo, don't make a scene. Come on.

Oi, do you always stuff your face before a dinner party? Yeah.

Especially if I've got to eat fish.

Do you think he might be expecting me

to do afternoon shifts as well as evening shifts?

-Are Billy and Lola going?

-Yeah, I already said, didn't I?

I could do both, I suppose. Cos I think he might be relying on me.

It's quite a big thing, though, innit? Maybe... HE GASPS

-Maybe they've got an announcement to make?

-Maybe. I dunno.

-I'm trying to concentrate here.

-Could be getting engaged.

No. No, no. That's tacky, she's just been jilted, hasn't she?

That's true.

I think he might be depending on my experience and expertise.

I hope you're not planning on nicking anything off the Vic menu.

No, I don't think that's his style.

But there's a distinct possibility that

I might not be able to work at the Vic any more.

-You don't think...? Although it would be ridiculous.

-Think what?

Hello?!

Yes, Jean, we'll sort that out... She's up the duff. No!

That means Phil's granddaughter would be older than his baby.

THEY LAUGH Right, come on, let's go.

That's brilliant.

And then he leans in for a kiss, and I kid you not, you know,

like when the mum bird is feeding the baby bird.

Except with bits of kebab.

So, needless to say, that was our first AND last date!

Oh, dear, your love life sounds nearly as disastrous as mine.

-It must run in the family.

-THEY LAUGH

-Oh!

-Mind your nails!

-It's Dexter!

-Ava, mind your...

Dex! Dexter, did you get my message?

-Billy's coming round a bit later now.

-I guess I'm going to have to

-miss him then.

-You can't hang around for another half an hour?

Spend half an hour with Billy Mitchell or spend half an hour putting pins in my eyes -

-I'll put the pins in my eyes, Mum.

-He's a nice guy.

-He's mucking you about already.

Look, we had a deal, remember? Just give him a chance.

-Like you gave Cora one?

-That's different.

Look, just let me know if I have to buy a hat, yeah?

-Billy Mitchell?

-SHE LAUGHS

-SHARON:

-There we go.

-What?

-Nothing!

They look like the ones Jean did at your last wedding...

-Actually, they're smoked salmon, Billy. Do you want one?

-No, thanks.

-You all right, Sharon? You look a bit rough.

-Thank you.

They the sort of manners you going to teach Lexi?

Don't be so rude, eh, Lo?

I didn't mean to be rude, I was just really concerned, that's all.

Don't you be concerned. I'm fine, thanks, darling.

Right, Billy, shall I get you another glass of wine?

-I'm on the beer, actually.

-Oh, yeah, course you are. Silly me.

-KNOCK ON THE DOOR

-Who's that?

It's probably Roxy and Alfie.

Didn't know you was inviting the whole clan. Next thing you'll be telling me Mum's coming!

Don't know why I bothered!

You go and let them in and I'll go and get some more drinks, right?

-See, I told you, didn't I? Did you see that?

-What?!

-She forgot what drink you was having.

-So?!

-Urgh!

-Come on in. There you go, Bill.

-Thanks, Sharon.

-And Lola. Come in, let me take your coats.

-Thank you!

Denny's upstairs, he can't wait to see you,

he's looking forward to his sleepover. Go on, darling.

Go on, go upstairs. We'll see you soon.

Wow. Sharon, look, a tablecloth and everything!

It's all very posh. Canapes, nice. They salmon, yeah?

-I think they look like it, don't you, Alfie?

-Yeah.

-Ooh, Alfie's favourite. You love salmon.

-I love salmon!

Help yourself, there's plenty to go round.

She seems all right to me.

I'm going to give it another hour and then I'm off, all right?

Ugh, whatever.

-But I've only done one coat...

-I know, I'm sorry, Tanya.

What did he say to you?

Nothing, I just think I'm a bit too old for all this.

It's just a bit of nail varnish. Personally, I intend to wear it to the grave.

Oh, come on, kids say hurtful things all the time without thinking.

You have got a right to be happy, you know.

-Who said I wasn't?

-No, course not, I just...

I didn't mean anything by it,

I'm just saying I do understand how lonely it can get sometimes.

I'm not lonely. I've got Dexter.

Yeah, obviously, and, you know, the fact that you two are so close,

that's a great thing, isn't it?

But what's going to happen when he meets a girl and wants to move out?

-You going to sabotage that for him?

-I wouldn't do that!

Exactly. And where's it going to leave you, eh?

20 years out of practice and on your own, that's where.

It's just a bit of dinner.

Whether Dexter's there or not, it's a start, innit?

Believe me, it's not going to get any easier.

Bossy cow, aren't you?!

Now, that definitely does run in the family.

-ROXY:

-Right, so is there a table plan, or do we just sit anywhere?

-It's every man or woman for himself.

-I'm just going to go to the bog.

-Charming.

-Cheers, Phil.

-ROXY:

-Yeah, well, you love fish.

-BILLY:

-Depends what sort of fish it is.

-ALFIE:

-But if it's in a pie, I don't mind it!

-What you doing?

-Nothing.

That's Sharon's.

Yeah, and I was just looking for something, some paracetamol.

Well, you should have asked.

Sorry, I didn't want to make a fuss, I've got period pain.

-I'll check with Sharon. Sharon...

-No, that's all right...

Lola's looking for some paracetamol.

Really? Well, I'm sorry but I don't think we've got any, darling.

It's all right, don't worry about it. I feel better now.

-You sure, darling?

-Uh-huh.

Right then, you won't mind taking some bowls through for me, will you?

Eh?! Teamwork.

-What you doing?!

-Just making it all cosy for Nanny and Masood.

-So they can watch a film?

-Yeah, if they like.

-They did that last time.

-Oh, well.

Can't see anything.

Yeah, well, the older you get, that's not a bad thing, believe me.

FRONT DOOR OPENS There she is.

-Hi.

-You all right?

I'm exhausted, just want to veg out for the night and put my feet up.

Well, why don't you go and have a nice bath

and I'll make you a nice cup of tea.

-What's the catch?

-Well, go and do the washing-up then?

Oh, no, I'm going. I'm going.

Excuse me, could I have a packet of cheese-and-onion crisps, please?

-Make that ready salted.

-No, I don't want ready salted.

-Yes, you do.

-Why?

-Trust me now.

-Scan?

Yeah. Well, you've gone 12 weeks, haven't you?

-I'd have thought you'd get a letter from the hospital or something.

-I've already had it, babe.

-When was this?

-The other day.

-Well, why didn't you tell me?!

-Oh, I dunno.

Been putting it off after our conversation yesterday,

-I felt bad that I'd kept it from you.

-Babe, so why did you?

Guess I was superstitious, after last time.

I didn't want it to go wrong, I mean, punishment or something.

So, you been bottling all this up?

How was it, the scan, anyway? Was it all right?

Did you get any of them little picture things?

Oh, I had to pay for them.

-Looked like a blob anyway.

-Can I have the same again, please?

'Ere. Would you give your fella fish?

Hey.

Thought you might get hungry while you were sticking pins in your eyes.

I know you think this is funny, Dexter,

but I am taking tonight very seriously.

I've got lots of food, lots of beautiful home-cooked food,

and I'd love for you to join us. But if you want to stay here

and eat your cold ham sandwich, then that's up to you.

But I am doing this, OK?

Mmm.

-I've got to go.

-Don't be silly. Stay.

-You off, Billy?

-Eh?

-No.

You're going to stay for a bit longer, ain't you, Pops?

-Where are you going?

-I've got a date.

-Ooh! Details.

-Come on then. Who's the lucky lady then?

Lucky?!

-Ava, she's cooking a meal for me.

-Ava? That's a nice one, mate.

-Out your league, isn't she, Bill?!

-We happen to click, actually.

Anyway, I'm not going to go for a bit.

-That's what to do, mate. Keep her waiting.

-Alfie!

What? What?

-I got to say, darling, the soup's lovely, by the way.

-Good.

Funny story about soup, actually.

When I was pregnant with Amy, I could not get enough soup.

-Practically bathing in the stuff, I was.

-SHE LAUGHS

Now, why's that funny?

You know, I mean... Do you get cravings, Sharon?

-You know, when you're pregnant?

-No. No, I never did.

-Sickness?

-No, I got off light.

Couldn't tell I was pregnant until the five-month mark.

-Oh, right, that's interesting.

-Is it?

Oh, wine, wine, we can't have me guzzling all the wine,

-can we, Sharon? There we go.

-Thanks.

Thank you for having us.

-Pleasure.

-Cheers.

-Cheers, everyone.

-Cheers.

-We've got to do a toast.

We'll do a toast to the hostess with the most-ess, yeah?

Or any special announcements?

Well, health and happiness always works, don't it, eh?

-In that case, health and happiness.

-Health and happiness.

Right, I'm just going to check on the main course, OK?

-Billy! Billy!

-What's the matter with you?

-You can't go to Ava's looking like that. What's the matter with you?!

-THEY LAUGH

I need a cloth. I spilt soup.

-There you go.

-Thanks.

-All right, babe.

-Everything OK?

-Thirsty.

-Right.

Look, Pops, I still ain't found the pills.

I just need one more hour, that's it. Please.

-What's wrong with you?!

-Nothing.

No, go on, tell me.

I just saw Sharon pouring her wine down the sink.

See! What did I tell you? I told you I was telling the truth.

-It might not mean anything...

-Of course it does.

She knows she can't mix the pills with the booze,

that's how she passed out last time, innit.

Come on, Pops!

OK. OK, I'll stay a bit longer.

MUSIC: "Piece Of My Heart" by Dusty Springfield

You going to set a place for me then, yeah?

Long as you get in the shower first, you little grease monkey.

Whoa, you all right there, darling?

Been on the cooking sherry, have you?

Keith Floyd's got nothing on me, Alfie! Sorry about that.

I'm just off then, Kirsty. My first assignment in my new job.

Chef at Le Square.

Didn't think that had opened yet?

No, it hasn't, we're just discussing ideas.

Oh, check you out, Jean. Congratulations. That's a big deal.

No, not really!

Ian's canny. I think

he thinks that he's uniting our culinary experiences, you know,

his expertise and my free-thinking creativity.

SHE LAUGHS

I think he thinks that I'm John Lennon to his McCartney.

-We heading?

-Yeah.

Oh, after you, Chef Slater.

-Oh!

-SHE LAUGHS

See?! I told you, she's blaming tripping up on the booze,

but you saw, didn't you?

She's lying, you saw her chuck that wine away.

-OK, I got to admit, it's a bit weird.

-Right,

-is that your way of saying that you believe me then?

-Yeah.

-What do we do now then?

-I don't know.

-We ain't got a choice, I'll have to tell Phil.

-Wait. No.

-Why?

-Because he won't believe you.

-Yes, he will...

Think about it, Lo, we haven't got any proof, have we? Not really.

Besides, I don't think it's a good idea to go in there

-and make a scene.

-I see. You're more interested in getting

your leg over than you care about Lexi. That's it, innit?

Do you really think that little of me?

Lola, we're going to get Lexi back in a week.

You go in there and tell Phil,

he's going to kick off, and who's he going to tell then, eh?

Trish? Think about it. It's a can of worms, Lo.

-No, you're right. What are we going to do then?!

-I don't know!

We're going to have to go get Lexi from upstairs,

bring her down here, tell Phil we're doing him a favour

and we'll sort it all out after then.

Billy, you ain't sneaking off, are you?!

-ALFIE:

-Yeah, come on, get in here, let's have a look at you.

-ROXY:

-Come on, Bill. Let's have a look.

-Here he is.

-Lover boy.

-No, no, no, don't sit down. Give us a twirl.

-Yeah. C'mon.

You see, I was thinking, you know, like,

I'm having such a nice time here, it would be a bit rude to just go...

You bottling out?

No. No, no. I can always do that another time, can't I?

-I thought you clicked?

-Billy, for once in your life, just grow a pair.

-Wahey.

-Rox, I'm perfectly capable of going on a date, all right?!

What you waiting for, Bill?!

Yeah, Pops, go on, don't be a loser all your life, eh?!

-THEY LAUGH

-Right, well, thanks. I'll see you then.

-Bye.

-See ya, Billy. Thanks for coming. Terrible.

THEY LAUGH

-Got a surprise for you.

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah.

May 28th. Book the day off work.

-Why, what's happening?

-Well, guess.

New York's a bit far in a day, so maybe...Paris?

Nah, this'll be better than that. No, I've gone private.

I've booked us a scan. One of these private clinics.

We'll be able to find out, you know, if it's a boy or girl.

Or not. Don't have to, not if you don't want to.

We can't afford it.

It's our first baby together, innit? I want to be there for you,

every step of the way.

-Come on, come in, come in.

-What're we doing here?

-Masood?

-AJ dragged me here.

-Bianca? Will you stop doing this...

-You're watching a film.

-Not again?

-And us two are having chips at McKlunky's.

-A film?

-Chips?

We just thought that you might like to have the house to

yourselves to do whatever it is you want to do in it.

-Yeah.

-Bye.

-Enjoooy!

MUSIC: "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele

-Come through, Jean.

-Right, I've made lots of notes,

so I think, well, I hope you'll find my input will be of use.

Well, we'll see.

-What?

-Well, you didn't think I was just going to give you the job

-straight off, did you?

-Is this an interview?

Think of it more as a... an audition.

But you said after all the help that I'd given you...

I want you to cook for me something really special.

And if it's good enough, and only if...

then you can have the job as my sous chef.

You've got 90 minutes. Cook.

CLOCK TICKS

-Lola?

-I'm taking her to stay at mine for the night.

-Don't be stupid.

-You ain't fit enough to look after her.

What's Lexi still doing up?

-She's coming to stay at mine for the night.

-Says who?

Me. And Sharon.

Lola's got herself into a bit of a state.

-Speak for yourself.

-So why don't we take Lexi back to bed,

-and we can have a little chat, yeah?

-Nah. I'm done talking.

KNOCK ON THE DOOR

-You all right?

-Not interrupting, am I?

DOORBELL RINGS

Yes?

Ava.

Sam?

I nearly lost my nerve.

Mum?! Mum?!

Is that Dexter?

Is that my son?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd