02/08/2013 EastEnders

Where do you think you're going, Whit?

I'm going out that door and I'm not coming back.

Don't be silly, there's really no need for that.

-Just come in, sit down and put your bag down.

-No.

I'm not mucking about, Whit.

-I got Tiff upstairs in a right state.

-And why's that?

-It's nothing to do with me, I can tell you that.

-Really?

-What are you saying?

-Nothing.

I'm not saying nothing. I'm keeping my lips sealed from now on.

I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to look at you. I want to go out that door...

You're not going anywhere until we have talked this through.

-What you doing?

-Just sit down.

-Give me my bag.

-No.

What are you going to do? What, are you going to pop over to Lucy?

Or pop over and see Joey, are you? Or just sulk for a half hour?

-You don't think I'll go?

-I think you're being a brat.

-I don't need my bag.

-Stop.

Let's just stop this. Let's just stop, all right?

I'm sorry...

-I'm sorry if I've snapped at you.

-You snapped at me?

-You think that is what this is about?

-I don't know, Whit. I don't know.

I haven't got the faintest idea what is going on in your head

-cos you won't tell me!

-Because I want out.

I want out, OK, I want out.

-I don't want nothing to do with you, all of it. Everything.

-Why?

Because I can't stand it.

I can't stand being around people who've got no idea.

No idea about what?

Do I have to spell it out to you?

All right.

All right, Whit, you know I understand.

Yeah, but do you? Do you really?

Yes, I do, because I was here too, remember?

Yeah, you were here. You were here, but where were you?

You were downstairs, you were watching telly,

you were making tea, you were snoring in your bed...

while Tony came in.

He came into my room and he paid me his little visits.

Listen to me, listen.

He is gone now, all right? He's gone.

We have dealt with that and you are better now.

Oh, I'm better? I'm better, am I? Look at me, do I look better to you?

He's dead, all right, Whit? He's dead.

He's just a horrible little pervert that has gone and topped himself

and good riddance, all right - that's what I say.

You don't understand. See? You never understand.

That is not true, Whitney.

Look at you, you can hardly look at me.

-Every time I mention his name, you look down at the floor.

-All right, I do.

-VOICE BREAKING:

-I do, cos I find this really difficult.

Yeah, you're guilty. You know you are, you know this is your fault.

-What?

-I didn't bring him here, did I? You brought him here

-and you let this happen to me.

-That is NOT right. I had no idea...

You're meant to be able to come home,

shut the front door behind you and feel safe.

Now, I ain't felt that.

I ain't felt that, not since I was 12 years old.

Whitney, this is not my fault, OK? I didn't know.

Whitney, please, please...

Please don't let him do this to us.

He's dead, he's gone - it's over.

You don't understand, you don't.

Tony understood me though.

He knew everything about me, he knew exactly what I liked.

I didn't have to pretend with him.

What are you talking about?

You don't understand, you don't.

I'm messed up, I'm messed up, I'm a horrible person.

I shouldn't even be around normal people.

I shouldn't be around anyone.

Whit. Don't...

Tiffany, go up to your room.

-Whitney?

-Go to your room, now.

Whitney!

He can't handle it, can he?

Me getting attention from another bloke.

Cos he knows what they're getting.

What he's missing out on.

-Is that right?

-Yeah...

Hard act to follow, me.

-You ain't exactly shy.

-Never have been.

Do you like the way I look? Hm?

Do you think I'm desirable?

What about my lipstick?

Do you think it's too much?

And my earrings? Do you like them? Do you think I look nice in them?

I ain't looking at your earrings.

In there.

Well, go on.

What you waiting for?

This isn't exactly my style.

Some...side alley by a pub.

It's naughty.

No, it's tacky.

-Maybe you should go home?

-Why?

Why do you say that?

Cos I'm trash?

Sleep it off.

I'll buy you a coffee in the morning.

ALLEYCAT MEOWS

What's wrong with me?

What you walking away for?

-BIANCA:

-I'm not letting you go, Whit.

I am NOT letting you go anywhere.

What you going to do, eh? Just leave Tiff in the house on her own?

You've left that door wide open.

That about just sums you up though, doesn't it, eh?

Leaving the door wide open for anyone to walk in.

-Anyone.

-Whit, please...

-Just leave me alone, OK.

I don't need you.

I don't need anyone.

Bianca?

-What's happened?

-She's gone, ain't she? She's gone, she's leaving.

She just won't listen to me.

What, you had a row?

It's Tony, he's dead - he's killed himself.

But she just can't cope.

And I can't cope. She's leaving and I've lost her!

Well, go after her.

I can't, because I've left Tiff in there on her own.

You go and be with Tiff... and I'll find Whit, yeah?

-Will you bring her back?

-Yeah.

Will you promise you'll bring her back

-and just don't take no for an answer?

-OK, I will.

Kat, you don't understand.

You don't understand what she's capable of, all right?

After Tony, there was this horrible bloke called Rob

and he just made her... He made her do things.

I understand.

Look, I'm going to get her. I promise, yeah?

Go home.

CAROL: Bianca?

INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS

INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND MUSIC

Ian?

You see that? Some yob's just thrown beer all over my window.

Mindless thuggery, that's the curse of today.

Have you seen Whitney?

I tell you what, she is the sort of person I'm talking about.

I had to sack her from Scarlett's - she's hopeless, totally hopeless.

-What should I expect with a mother like Bianca?

-Have you seen her?

-Who, Bianca?

-Whitney!

-Yeah, she sloped past a little while ago.

-Which way did she go?

High Street.

And you sent Kat after her?

I've got Tiff upstairs, what was I supposed to do?

-Just leave her on her own?

-You deal with Tiff, I'll go after Whitney.

That's just going to make things worse.

How's it going to make things worse? She's run off.

-She's not going to listen to you, is she?

-Oh, really?

And she'll listen to Kat?

I wouldn't trust Kat Slater to save my life.

WIND HOWLS

-KAT:

-Whitney! Whitney!

-Oh.

-What you doing?

What's it got to do with you?

Look, I just seen your mum.

Yeah? She send you after me, did she?

No, listen, she's upset, yeah?

But she's looking after Tiff.

She's in a right state.

There's no need to be. I can take care of myself.

How? You've got no money, no clothes, where you going to stay?

-Something will turn up.

-No, you're coming home with me.

-Kat, get your hands off me, all right?

-I'm not messing about here.

-MAN:

-You got a problem, darling?

-She's fine. Come on.

No, I have got a problem actually. You got room for a little one?

-Yeah, sure. Hop in.

-Hang on, what are you doing?

I'm going to find a bed for the night.

No, come on!

We'll take care of her, won't we, lads? We're going to a party.

Oh, they're going to a party - I love parties.

I'm a proper party girl.

You're not coming to a party, you're coming home with me.

-Get in, love.

-Go on, budge over.

-She don't want to go with you.

Oh, do me a favour. Come here.

-Get off me, Kat.

-No.

-Who do you think you are?

-What's your name, love?

-Me? I'm Whitney.

-I just think that's a lovely name.

-KAT SCOFFS

-Let me buy you a drink? We'll get better acquainted.

-Mate, what about the party?

-It'll wait.

All right, mine's a vodka - a double. I'll get us a table.

SHE SCOFFS

MUSIC: "I'm Your Man" by Wham!

Whitney, what are you doing?

Will you just leave me alone?

Come with me, yeah?

I'll be right back.

Vodka - ice, slice of lime.

-You can't just drag me in here, Kat.

-Just shut up and listen to me, yeah?

-You ain't got no right.

-I'm your mum's mate.

She ain't my mum and you ain't even mates any more.

You're still going to listen to me. Excuse me, love, do you mind?

-Well?

-That bloke, he's only after one thing.

-Oh, really? Thank God you're here to educate me.

-And his mates.

They ain't all like that, Kat.

You was offering it to him on a plate, I heard you.

-You heard what you wanted to hear.

-I heard you and he heard you.

Do you know what? I don't care.

Blokes like me, I can't help that.

Don't tell me you ain't ever been there.

It don't matter what I've done.

Why? List too long, is it?

Yeah, it is, actually, and I ain't proud of it.

I feel sick when I think of the things that I've done

-and the people I've hurt.

-You ain't me.

No, I ain't you...

but we ain't so different, Whit.

Really?

Take a look.

I know you're hurting, but so is Bianca.

What do you know about Bianca? What do you know about me?

-Nothing.

-I know what happened, she told me about Tony dying.

He didn't... He didn't just die - he killed himself, so...

And I'm not hurting - I'm glad, actually.

I don't care, I'm free now.

Anyway, I got a drink waiting for me.

You want to think about what you're going to do with that freedom, Whit.

-You think no-one understands you, no-one cares?

-Oh, they care.

They care all right, but they just don't know,

they don't know what goes on in my head.

-They don't understand me at all.

-I do.

-Oh, yeah, why's that?

-Because it happened to me.

That don't mean nothing. That don't mean we're the same.

No-one's the "same".

-I don't want to talk about it, Kat.

-I think you need to talk about it.

I thought you said no-one understood you.

Yeah, no-one in my family, and you ain't my family.

You don't have nothing to do with me, Kat.

I know what it's like to be a little girl.

To think like a little girl. Big dreams.

Having fun with your mates. Growing up.

And then a man...

A grown man comes in your room.

And you're so sleepy, you don't know who it is

and then he shuts the door, he sits on your bed.

And he's stroking your hair and he's telling you that you're sweet...

and you're pretty and you're special.

And even though...

you're so scared and you feel sick

and you're totally paralysed, you think...

is this normal?

Do I deserve this?

And then your childhood is snatched away in an instant.

You think no-one understands you, eh?

I know what it's like, Whit, and so do you.

And it doesn't end there.

Even when he's dead and he's disappeared.

He's still got you, he's there for life.

It just messes everything up.

Men...

marriage, love.

Just spoils everything.

My whole adult life has been spoilt by it.

Look at me. Whitney, look at me!

I'm dragging a bloke down an alleyway because I'm damaged.

A quick fix, yeah?

But you stay broken.

It's broken me, Whit.

But it doesn't have to break you.

I do not want you to go through this as well.

Tiff ...

Oh, your hair's still wet.

SHE SNIFFLES

Sorry.

I'm really sorry I was horrible to you.

That was wrong, will you forgive me?

Oh, you're so lovely.

-Then why do you hate me?

-What?

I don't hate you, I love you. I love you so much.

Do you hate Whitney?

No.

No, I don't hate Whitney.

Then why are you so angry with her?

Is it cos of Tony?

Cos Tony's dead?

Is that why you're sad?

Right.

Let's go down and make a hot chocolate, yeah?

How does that sound?

Come on, come back with me. Come back home and talk to Bianca.

-I can't. I can't.

-Why not?

Kat, if she knew what was inside my head, it would break her heart.

She knows, believe me.

Whether you tell her or not, she knows exactly how you feel.

All you've got to do is look into your eyes.

Look at me.

You saying you can't see it?

VOICE BREAKING: Yeah, I can.

Come on, don't cry.

Kat, I don't know what to do.

I don't know...

I don't know what's wrong with me.

You know when he died...

You'd think I'd be pleased...

but I wasn't.

I just felt this emptiness inside. Empty and he was gone.

-And all the time, I just thought...

-What?

I thought I loved him.

I thought I loved him.

I did.

And when he died...

..I think I suddenly remembered what that was like.

-It wasn't true.

-I know, I know it wasn't.

But it felt true at the time.

He...

He stole my childhood, Kat.

He stole it - I'm never going to get that back, am I?

I should hate him.

I know I should. But I can't, and I don't.

Maybe if I could see him one more time.

What would you say to him? How would that make it better?

I'd ask him. Say...

"Why did you do that to me?"

And what do you think he'd say? He'd only lie to you.

He'd say it's because he loves you and you're special.

And he'd say not to breathe a word because it's "our little secret".

He might have explained.

How could he?

Whitney, he was sick.

He won't admit it.

Harry, yeah, he wouldn't admit it. He made me think it was my fault.

And that's what Tony would do to you.

Kat, he was on his own.

He was all on his own and he was so sad.

Don't you dare feel sorry for him.

How could he have done a thing like that?

None of this is your fault.

What if I'd have seen him? I could've put it behind me.

Well, put it behind you now.

Yeah, both of us - let's both put it behind us now.

What, just like that?

No, not just like that.

But look, look where we are.

We're in some grotty toilet in a pub,

talking about two horrible men.

Two weak men who were so sick they took advantage of a child.

Now, I don't know about you,

but I'm not going to let them ruin my life any more.

I am sick of hating myself

and feeling dirty with this dirty little secret.

No, I'm not having it any more.

You know what Alfie said to me?

He said I was "beyond help" and I'm a "lost cause".

And he's right.

Look at me.

Go out on the pull.

Wearing a tight, low-cut dress.

Lipstick.

And you see these earrings, right?

I don't know why, but if I've got a bloke in sight,

and I'm on the pull, I go out in these. I don't know why.

They were my mum's, she left them to me.

And do you know who bought them for her?

Harry, yeah.

Paid for them with his own money.

Wrapped them up with his fat hands...

and gave them to her.

Wishing her happy birthday and giving her a peck on the cheek.

Then looking over at me and giving me a little wink.

She had no idea.

She thought the world of Harry.

I tried to tell her once.

But she didn't believe me and she called me a liar.

So I stayed quiet for years.

I was worried that she'd be disappointed...

..and she'd hate me.

But if only I'd tried harder

and MADE her believe me.

She was my mum and she's gone now...

..and I could never tell her what he did to me...

and how he made me feel.

But you should tell Bianca.

She loves you so much, she deserves that at least -

just be honest with her.

GIRLS CHATTER INDISTINCTLY

I've got to go.

Look, I can't force you to come back, yeah? It's up to you.

If you need a friend...

I need a friend.

Someone who understands you.

I'm here if you need me, all right?

MUSIC: "Gimme Me All Your Lovin'" by ZZ Top

Who's that for?

Whitney, she likes hot chocolate too.

Tony used to make it for her at bedtime.

That's nice of him.

Are there lots of men like Tony?

Not lots, no.

Some.

How do you know which ones are like him?

You don't.

It's REALLY, really...

difficult to tell.

How do you know who's nice and who isn't?

SHE SIGHS

You've just got to be really, really careful.

Really careful.

Careful who you trust.

Are you careful?

Is that why you ain't got a boyfriend no more?

PAN SIZZLES

Is Whitney coming back?

Don't cry.

I would never, ever let anything bad happen to you.

Never.

DOORBELLL RINGS

Whitney!

Sorry, I forgot my key.

-Did you find her?

-No.

I looked in the R&R, the caff, the Vic.

-I even went to Ian's and asked Lucy.

-And?

Nothing. Listen, don't worry about it.

When she calms down, I'm sure she'll come back.

Yeah, yeah, I'm just being silly. Come on then, you - upstairs.

I'm going to read you a story.

Something you like, it don't matter how long it is, come on.

DOORBELL RINGS

Whitney!

You all right?

Yeah.

We was down the pub having a chat. It was nice.

Come on, Tiff, I'll take you upstairs, darling.

-We made some hot chocolate - it's in the kitchen.

-Thanks, Tiff.

You sure you're all right?

VOICE BREAKING: No.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

You don't have to be sorry.

It's not your fault, it's my fault.

I don't blame you, I didn't mean it. It's just something I said.

-WHISPERS:

-It's all right.

I should've known.

I should've...

You've got to say what you think, anyway.

You can't bottle it all up.

I'm glad, I'm glad he's gone.

Just sometimes, it just comes back to me

and I get a bit sad and I can't pretend it never happened.

Well, you don't have to pretend no more.

Cos you're here now and you're home and you're safe.

You can say anything to me.

I know.

I'm your mum.

There's nothing you can say or think that could ever shock me.

I just have to be a little bit braver.

I think we both do.

I better go.

Thanks, Kat.

That's all right.

Kat? I'll see you in the morning then, yeah? At the stall?

Yeah, why not?

Partners?

Best mates.

Now, listen...

-VOICE BREAKING:

-From now on,

I want you to come through that door,

close it behind you, and know that you are safe.

That no-one is ever, ever going to get you.

Or ever hurt you again. Do you hear me?

Do you think you can ever feel like that again?

Yeah, yeah, I think I can.

I'll be back in a minute.

I will, I'll be back in a minute.

MEN LAUGH

Kat...

I... I just wanted to say...

-..if you ever want anyone to talk to, I am around.

-Same here.

And them earrings...

I think you should dump 'em.

I don't think they're very you.

Yeah, maybe.

I'll see you.

I'll see you.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd