09/08/2013 EastEnders

She wants her life back.

'She wants us to trust her.

'Yeah, but, Tanya, short of dragging her to the clinic'

and locking her up in there, what else am I supposed to do?

Yeah, I know all that. But this is her home, innit?

Right, so would you rather she was on the street or near me

where I can keep an eye on her?

I'll make sure she's doing her counselling,

I'll make sure she's eating.

Tanya, Kirsty's out the window, all right?

No. Stepping up as a dad, that's all I care about.

Right, fine... Well, you talk to her again then, yeah?

MUSIC: "With Or Without You" by U2

No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Well, it is a bit weird not having my mum around.

Yeah. Of course.

And all my mates, just...

-Well, they don't like me because I'm an idiot when I have a drink.

-No.

And my ex is pretty happy to keep it that way.

And my dad keeps listening to these '80s tracks,

he's got them on repeat.

He keeps turning up the music and just staring at his dinner,

I don't even know why.

Well, maybe he did actually love Kirsty.

You know, some men are just rubbish without a woman.

Yeah.

And then... Well, everywhere I go on a Friday night people are just...

-Drinking.

-..drinking.

You know what? You need to do something good.

I dunno, buy a tramp a sandwich or something.

Takes your mind off it, don't it, doing something good?

-Does it?

-Yeah.

And then you can come over to mine

and I'll give you a pedicure if you like.

To be honest, you will be doing me a favour cos, you know,

I need to keep my hand in on the foot front and anyway listen,

you do not need to go to the pub to have a good time, all right?

See you later.

Lucy, just the girl. How would you like dinner in the restaurant?

On the house, obviously.

-I've got some puddings I'd like you to try out.

-Why?

-Market research.

I mean, they reckon, whatever the weather,

everyone enjoys a good solid pudding. And I value your opinion.

I've got to pay Carl.

And I haven't got the...

Look, unless I take the money out the business accounts, Lucy,

I can't pay him, and if I can't pay him,

what's he going to do to me this time?

Have you shown Janine the accounts? Lucy!

Well, you've definitely identified some areas that need addressing.

No. Your plan for the R&R is really well-researched, Lucy.

The architect's report's come in on Kenwyn House,

-it's definitely going to give us what we want.

-OK.

Um, all right...

How about Assistant Manager of Existing Business?

-I'll work out your terms over the weekend.

-Thank you.

Great. First call, look into those drug rumours in the club.

-OK.

-OK. Good. Go home.

Oh, it's Friday night, people.

So unless there's anything urgent outstanding?

-No.

-No.

-See you later.

-See you.

Actually, there was one thing.

Oh, good. Hit me with it.

I was thinking more maybe a quick glass of wine after work?

Yeah...no.

Tempted as I am by your cheap bottle of wine,

all I want now is a nice hot bath.

I can go with that.

Long as you don't mind the plug end.

But I don't mix business and pleasure, Danny.

That's a shame... you might enjoy it.

When are you going to get the message, eh?

You need me, Kirst.

Carl, you're boring me now.

Sorry.

Look, all right,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry we...

If you'd never been sent down, we'd never have split up.

The world didn't stop just because you went inside. Just...

you know, just let it go. Go and get a life and send me a postcard.

Just stop hanging around me like some weirdo stalker, will you?

You faked you were pregnant. I notice things, Kirst.

Like the fact that you saw off his missus.

And the fact that his daughter's run off to rehab. And Max...

he still don't need you.

Someone needs to let you know how it is.

You need me.

PHONE RINGS

-Really?

-Yeah.

Very impressive set of references.

Excellent. Monday start it is.

Mind you, as long as you're fit and you can do the work, I don't mind.

Well, he's not fit, is he? He's diabetic.

See you later.

Bee-bop.

Bee-bop.

Look, her first picnic.

Not her first ever.

This was Michael's idea.

You can go now.

Why don't you join us?

Why would I want to sit in the middle of the local cat litter tray

eating shop-bought sandwiches?

Have you not even noticed that A -

come here darling - our daughter is constantly moving around,

and B, she's putting everything she sees into her mouth?

Are you actually trying to poison her before her second birthday?

Come on, in you go.

Like you said, she's got a routine.

She should be at home. Drinking her milk and watching CBeebies.

And first ever picnic as well?

What do you think, everything just goes on pause when you're not here?

Come on, darling. I know, it's disgusting, isn't it?

Oh, mon Dieu.

SMOKE ALARM BLARES

-Oh, mon Dieu.

-Jean, the pan's burnt dry!

Oh, mon Dieu.

Ow!

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, mon...

It's involuntary with you, innit? You have to ruin everything.

Michael, I'm so tired...

You know what this is like? This is like Groundhog Day.

Now she is sleeping.

If she wakes up then she's going to scream.

If I leave her, then she's going to scream at 4:30am.

And that isn't your problem, is it?

First ever picnic.

For a hands-on father you really are pretty useless.

Top quality. Top of the line pans, they're absolutely ruined.

-Half a hundredweight of raisins...

-Oh, bonjour, Ian. Bonjour?

We are hardly exactly busy.

Jean, we are trying to get ahead in case we have a rush, OK?

You have just cost me...

days of wages.

Yes, you have. And for that, you're not getting your wages tonight.

-Alors!

-Jean, you do not have to keep speaking French, just cos you might

-possibly be going to Calais on a day-trip with Ollie.

-Tres bien.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-'ave it your own way.

-Jean.

Jean, there is more to speaking French than sounding foreign

and saying it with a shrug.

Fine, I quit. That clear enough for you? Grumpy, over-reacting.

You have been a complete nightmare to work with, Ian,

since I came back. No offence,

but if you were a woman, I would prescribe a patch

-and diagnose the menopause.

-I am...

I know that I owe you for the whole fire, sprinkler thing,

and I know you've only just taken your bandage off the other hand.

But I'm in a good mood. I'm happy and...

just normally happy and thinking of a day trip

and learning the language of love. And I'm sorry, Ian,

-but I'm not going to have it ruined by you and your hormones.

-You can't go.

-I can.

-Don't, though.

Please?

Urgh.

Classy. What's that? A 3.99 bottle from the Minute Mart?

We don't all have your money, Janine.

And don't worry, that's the last time I even bother with all the effort,

all the planning, all this stuff because I have better things to do

with my life.

I get it.

You're right. The effort and the energy and the picnic in the Square.

What do you want? Michael, come on, you're the one that's so hung up

on straight talking.

I want to go and have a bath, OK?

That is what I want, yeah?

So now - now you tell me what you want - because it's bound to be

something ever so big, what with all the effort and the tantrums.

I can just say no and then you can go home.

-No.

-Fine. Then please just do the go home bit, OK?

I want Scarlett to stay with me. One night. A Friday night.

She's not a tiny baby any more, I want her to stay with me for a night.

Nope.

Why?

I don't like being manipulated.

Do you practise...?

Do you practise being such a hypocrite?

What about the child? Think about the child's welfare.

No, Michael, all I think about is Scarlett.

THUMPING OUTSIDE

BABY CRIES

Get her out! Get her out! Get her out, Michael!

Scarlett! Scarlett!

I'm good.

Don't say good.

They'll be looking straight under the bed for a bottle of vodka

or something. Denial is an addict's habit.

I am though, I'm fine.

Well, all right, I will be. I'll be all right.

Well, I know you'll be all right.

-It's going to be hard, though.

-Yeah, it is.

You get your dad to look after you.

SHE SCOFFS

Well, you know, it's like one of his party tricks or something,

scooping up and rescuing.

Has he brought you in the pasta and a big chocolate cake?

It's like living with a feeder.

Two months and I had to tell him. I had cellulite on my ankles.

So...do you not love him any more, Kirsty?

Lauren, it's your dad.

Look, I'm sure you're just busy but your dinner's on the table.

MUSIC: "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, you all right, Tan?

Yeah. No, she's fine.

Yeah, no, she's only just this minute walked up.

No, she went for a run.

Yeah, course.

SHOUTING: Lauren! Lauren, it's your mum.

Ah, no, she's in the bath. She said she'll call you back.

Tan, course I will.

Tan, she's fine, all right? I can manage, trust me.

Yeah, well let's do Lauren a favour.

Let's just...try and trust her, yeah?

-Let's go and see Mummy. Shall we see Mummy?

-Hi.

She's all right. She's all right. There's no cuts.

You're fine.

There's no loss of consciousness or anything horrible like that.

You're great. You'll be fine, I think.

It's a posh buggy, you know, loads of padding. It broke the fall.

-She could have broken her neck.

-I know. I know.

-We left her on her own...

-I know, I know, I know.

-What are we doing?

I know. I'm disgusted with myself. Believe me.

But the NHS woman said that she doesn't need to go in.

You don't need to go in, we just have to watch you for 48 hours.

That's two days in baby language.

Well, I can get you a cab, we can take her in, no?

No.

I wanted it to be different for her.

Oh, sweetheart, no.

We can't mess this up.

We cannot mess her up.

So your daughter doesn't like you,

Janine's not pulling her weight business-wise,

and that - Carl is it? - won't take no for an answer?

-No.

-Cos he's hassling you for a job on account of his jobseekers',

only he can't cook, won't wash up

and has never actually done silver service in his life.

Tres difficile.

SHE GASPS

Et ca, c'est le man

of qui you parler.

Jean. English, please. Not Franglais.

That's him, isn't it?

Yes.

Oh, now, Ian. That is just being silly.

Right.

Pig.

Duck.

Yeah? There or there?

Which do you prefer? Pig there or pig there?

Pig there. I reckon he should go there. What about this guy?

It's always been a roller coaster with them two.

I've been keeping my distance. Deliberately.

I've been trying to stay away. I thought I was doing the right thing,

I thought that was what you wanted.

I'm not saying that it's all your fault.

They were getting married, Kirsty.

You roll up.

My mum was in her wedding dress.

We just need things to be...

Well, we need things to be peaceful.

And what about your dad?

You owe us.

I think you owe us.

It's pathetic.

A grown man with a paunch standing there with his tongue hanging out.

It is cash. That is all.

I can't help it if she likes me.

I just want to keep in with the boss.

You want to keep in with the boss?

That is not a paunch.

That is a...

five-and-a-half pack.

So, you want to keep in with the boss, yeah?

Plus Sir Steve Redgrave is a diabetic.

I think you and your five-and-a-half pack should get inside.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

I've got some shelves I need putting up.

Funny.

TV: Boing, boing, boing.

BABY GIGGLES

Bounce up and down. Boing, boing, boing.

Funny? Is he funny?

Do we like him?

Vous...

What's French for "come out"?

He's gone.

Great. And you... You told him that unfortunately I wasn't here today?

I told him that I only speak un peu d'Anglais.

And then when he said I was Jean Slater from the pub,

I told him all about my mental health issues.

He's coming back next week.

Yes, well, a thank you won't be necessary.

I'll just have my money and an early night

and we'll say no more about it.

Thank you.

And sorry.

That's OK, ma... ma petit salle de bains.

I should go.

Or you could stay?

Don't flatter yourself.

I'm housebound. It's Friday night.

I've got half a bottle of decent wine in the fridge.

You can have a glass, if you promise not to throw it at me.

All right.

MUSIC: "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" by Tears For Fears

Hey, you all right?

Where've you been?

It's all right. Don't worry. Just... your mum's been on the phone.

She's worried about you cos you weren't picking up.

I told her, you know, she'll be fine...

Well, we trust you, don't we?

MUSIC STOPS

I...

What?

I prefer you when you're selfish.

And normal. And wrapped up in your own life.

I'm sorry but it is freaking me out.

You're just all over it, like hands-on.

You're just like this lovesick dad.

I told her it can happen to the best of us.

I think you should work it out.

If you want. Only if you want.

Put your life back how it was.

Thank you, Lauren.

Then you can stay out of mine.

Cos I'm OK, Dad.

So...

..maybe you can have Scarlett overnight once a month.

-Maybe...

-Really?

It's just...

It's mad, isn't it? Us both fighting over who gets Scarlett

and actually Alice is the one spending most of the time with her.

Yeah.

I've decided, I think I'm going to take six months off.

Maybe a year.

Stay at home, do the whole mum thing, just while she's small,

until she goes to school.

You won't last a week. You'd have a nervous breakdown.

It'd be a mess. Full-time.

No, no, no. It's a noble thought, but...

You've missed me, ain't you? Go on, admit it.

Go on. You can admit it. You've missed me.

You've missed me.

So what do you want to happen now then?

Do you want me to say I've missed you

and then I kiss you... And then take you upstairs?

No.

No. OK.

Sorry, I thought we were straight talking...

but we haven't quite cracked that honesty concept.

You've just got so much front, haven't you? It's just...

It's the arrogance, Michael.

And when you have cracked that concept of honesty,

you can call me. I'll be in the pub.

Look, it'll get busier. It's just one of those things, isn't it?

It's the weather. The recession, people are away on holiday.

Look, sometimes you get quiet nights. It'll pick up.

It will pick up. See ya.

Not if you shut early and keep creaming off the profits, it won't.

I promised you dinner, didn't I?

And I said no, thanks.

Lucy, we're not going to get things back to normal

unless we have a proper conversation.

I got a promotion this evening.

-So I'm effectively your boss.

-Have you told Janine about the accounts?

-Don't congratulate me then.

-Have you told her about the accounts?

No.

You know, that is what kindness feels like, Dad.

MURMURING

SHE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

OK.

You win.

Come round.

I'll try.

I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm crying.

It's all right.

I miss my mum.

And I see her every Sunday.

Look, seriously right, this first bit back, yeah,

it is going to be hard.

But you know what?

I regularly have a little cry without properly knowing the reason

and I'm not addicted to alcohol.

And, you know, I think if people just cried

when they felt like they needed to,

then I reckon they'd drink a whole lot less Lambrusco.

So you just cry, all right?

-Can you pass me a tissue?

-Yes.

DOORBELL RINGS

SHE SIGHS

So...I changed my mind.

Like there was ever a choice.

Subtitles By Red Bee Media Ltd