12/08/2013 EastEnders

# Blue jeans, white shirt

# Walked into the room You know you made my eyes burn

# It was like James Dean

# For sure

# You so fresh to death and sick as cancer... #

You excited about your first day back?

-Oh, I can't wait.

-You'll be fine.

And I'll be there to make sure you don't get into any trouble.

# So please don't let go

# Cos you know... #

Need a hand with that, Gran?

Oh, Lauren, I heard you was back, from Poppy.

Oh, sorry. I thought my dad would have told you that.

Oh, nobody tells me nothing these days.

They've got too many troubles of their own.

How are you doing? In yourself, I mean?

Erm...well, you know.

Yes. Well, the road back from addiction is a hard one, Lauren.

I mean, I should know, what with my Nick.

And the path is strewn with temptation.

So you've got to be strong.

And you've got to draw comfort from them what loves you.

-Do you want a hand with all this?

-Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, is it Grandad's birthday today?

Sorry. I completely forgot.

Oh, well, you've got other things on your mind.

-Shouldn't we do something to celebrate? 80's a big deal.

-Oh, I ain't got time for that.

I mean, what with the launderette and my church warden duties

and visiting your grandfather, I ain't got time to think.

Can I get you anything, Cora?

A sick bag(?)

Do you ever do anything other than pour scorn on things?

It's a gift. It'd be a crime to waste it.

Are you going to eat that?

My appetite's gone, innit?

Just relax. Lauren'll be back soon. Are you going to go and see Jim?

Er, I don't know. Probably not. I want to stick around here,

-keep an eye on Lauren.

-You can't wrap her in cotton wool.

-She's right, you know.

-At least we agree on something.

Listen, why don't I just spend the day with Lauren?

DOOR OPENS

-You all right, Lauren?

-All right?

-You been out for a run?

-Yeah.

So, you got any other plans today, or...?

Actually, I thought I'd throw a party.

DOOR SHUTS

And to what do I owe this pleasure?

Scarlett might want that.

-PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

-Well, couldn't that have waited?

You obviously want something, Michael,

-so why don't you spit it out?

-I waited for you at the Vic.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Was there a problem with Scarlett or...something?

No. No. I didn't realise we'd made a proper date.

Well, we hadn't. It was nothing concrete, but...

It's cool. We can reschedule, if you want, for tonight or something?

Well, actually, I can't tonight. I've got, um, plans with...Danny.

Danny? Yeah. More business waffle.

Something like that.

Oh, here.

Singles night at the R&R.

Now that me and Danny are kind of an item, I won't be needing it.

-So why don't you come along? You never know, you might just get lucky.

-Yeah. That's funny(!)

-It's Grandad's eightieth, Dad.

-Yeah, but you can't just go rocking up to the care home.

Yeah, which is why I said we should have a party here in his honour.

Plus, it's a nice thing to do for Gran as well, when she gets back.

She did seem really stressed.

It's not easy, darling, looking after someone on their last legs.

Right, thanks for that, Cora(!) Little ray of sunshine.

I think it's an excellent idea.

Are you sure you're up to it, Lauren?

Yes, Dad. It'll give me something to do.

-Look, I don't mind asking Abi, you know. She could give you a hand.

-Abi's out with Jay.

-Me and Cora can pitch in and help, can't we, Cora?

-Why not?

-No!

I don't need everyone running around after me, all right? Not any more.

I can do this. I want to do this.

Just... Please, just let me.

Ta-ra.

So what else did Alfie say about Ronnie, then?

-I haven't had a chance to speak to him.

-Yeah, but...

Anyway, I've decided it's a lot of fuss over nothing.

Michael.

Michael!

What's the matter? You deaf?

Must be your age.

Here. Fill your boots.

It's Janine, innit?

-Might be a laugh.

-Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds good.

I'm sure Michael won't mind taking Scarlett for a bit.

All right, then. Cool. I'll see you there, yeah?

Yeah. Cool.

What about you, Joey? Fancy it?

Yeah. I'll pop in.

Great.

-Eh, Lauren, you sure you're OK for this?

-I'm fine!

Kevin, you can go to the toilet.

Er, Kylie, don't do that to Tariq. Thank you.

Don't forget to wash your hands, Kevin.

Oh, Whitney. You are a sight for sore eyes.

-You look like you could do with a hand.

-Yeah. Helen phoned in sick,

-so basically we've got all the age groups in together. Chaos.

-It's just how I like it.

Right, come on, you lot, settle down.

-Settle down. CHILD:

-It's mine, it's mine!

Yeah, I'm sure Bianca can get some time off from the stall.

Great.

Is it all right if I bring Masood along?

Ooh. Are you sure he's ready for his first Branning gathering?

Yeah, well, I'll tell him to wear some body armour.

Oh, yes, and if you see Gran, don't tell her,

cos I want it to be a surprise.

That shouldn't be a problem.

-Dot hardly ever comes in here these days.

-Must be your cooking.

-CAROL LAUGHS

-There you go. Thanks.

-Is there anything you want me to bring?

-No. No. I've got it all under control.

OK. It's good to see you making amends, Lauren.

Because the last thing this family needs is any more grief.

So I hope you're taking your recovery seriously.

I am. They gave me loads of coping mechanisms as part of my treatment.

It's a load of psychobabble, really, but it's basically

-just about keeping busy and having an outlet when things get tough.

-Oh.

So, for me, well, it's my running.

-Hi. Can I have a cup of tea, please?

-Yeah, yeah, I'll bring it over.

Just as long as you don't let anything or anyone distract you.

No. Yeah, I know. Well, that's all in the past now.

Good. Because what you need right now is time to recover...alone.

I know.

CHILDREN PLAY QUIETLY

-How do you do it?

-It's a gift.

Hi. Look, I know it's short notice,

but I wondered if you could have Denny today?

Erm, actually...

Sure, no problem. The more the merrier.

Oh, thank you. You be a good boy. Mummy'll see you later.

Bye.

I think you're supposed to hit it.

What do you want?

I thought you might want to spend some time with Scarlett.

You shirking your responsibilities?

No. I just wanted to go to my grandad's party

and I thought you might want to see her.

You OK?

Where are you going?

PHONE RINGS

-Hello? Ron! Hey!

-Oi. JACK CLEARS HIS THROAT

Look, do me a favour, call me back, yeah?

-You all right, Rox?

-Yeah. What do you want?

I thought I could pick Amy up, take her to my dad's birthday.

-No. Now's not really a good time.

-Yeah, but I...

Jack, look, you don't get to just pick and choose when you want to be a dad.

Where's all this coming from?

Oh, right. I get it.

This is what it's going to be like, when you tie the knot with Alfie?

Going to try and squeeze me out, are you? I don't think so.

That would explain Michael's mood, then.

-How come Janine gets all the fit blokes?

-It's her perfume.

It's a whiff of desperation with a hint of millionaire!

There you are. Twice in one day - that's fate trying to tell you something, that is.

-Yeah, that everyone's got blokes and we ain't.

-Then maybe we should go.

-Look who's desperate now.

-How are we supposed to meet any decent blokes these days?

-Not at some sad singles night.

There might be some fit ones there.

Yeah, like there was at that speed-dating night?!

-How are you getting on?

-Yep. Yep, everything's under control.

-I'm very proud of you, you know that?

-Yeah.

Did you get everything I needed from the shop?

-Yeah.

-Let me see it, then.

What, was the Minute Mart all out of booze, was it?

Dad, just because I can't drink,

don't mean everyone else has to go without.

-It don't mean we have to make things harder for you, does it, Lauren?

-I can cope.

Anyway, this isn't about me. It's about Grandad.

It's about doing something nice for Gran.

And anyway, how are we going to get things back to normal

if everyone keeps treading on eggshells around me?

Dad, I just want things to go back to normal...

..or whatever passes for normal in this house.

Right.

I'd better get back to the shop. High-five.

-I'm hungry. I'm going to get some biscuits.

-Cool.

You're lucky, in't you? Ian's not here.

You can't stand in the way of true love.

You won't say anything, will you?

Cos I did get you your job back after all,

which was really good of me, if you think about it.

And I get to keep my place and keep seeing Bobby.

-Sneaky little thing, in't you?

-It's what they call a win-win situation.

Yeah, I suppose it is.

Hello.

Oh, you all right, Alice? What can I get you to drink?

Lauren, I don't mind doing that, if you want?

No, it's fine, Dad. What would you like?

A lemonade.

I've got work later, so...

DOORBELL RINGS

Lauren's done an amazing job, organising everything.

You all right?

Erm, oh, no, thank you. A fellow teetotaller.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't...

No, that's all right. It's fine.

So, what? Just two apple juices, then?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, please.

-Cool. Thank you.

-Good start(!)

-Just relax.

-Vol-au-vent?

-Oh, lovely.

-Right.

-Thank you.

How does it feel, being brought into the fold?

-Um...

-I think the best way with this lot is to make out you're stupid

and keep shtoom.

Am I right?

You all right, bruv?

-Roxy wouldn't let me bring Amy.

-Well, it's not that big a deal, is it?

Well, it might not be to you. I'm going to get a drink.

-You all right? You all right, Uncle Max.

-You all right, B?

-I brought that. Is that all right?

-Of course.

-You all right, Lauren? Good to see you back.

Lauren, I'm sorry about earlier.

That's fine. It's all right. Just stop apologising.

OK, sorry.

Do you know if...if Joey's going to pop in later, or anything?

Oh, you know Joey. A law to himself.

-No sign of the guest of honour?

-Dot? She ain't back from visiting Jim yet.

-All right?

-Hi.

DOOR SHUTS

-Hello, Michael.

-Kathleen.

I saw you scuttling over earlier. I've seen Janine an' all.

How terrifying for you(!)

She was parading her latest conquest.

And you want what?

Right, well, I'm going to put my name down for this singles night

over at the R&R, and I thought you'd like to come as well.

-No.

-Oh, go on.

-No.

-Cos then I'll know that if you're there, I won't be the saddest person in the room.

You never know, you might meet someone.

Unlike you, Kathleen, I don't need a relationship to define me.

Or maybe you're just holding out for someone special.

Janine has, by the looks of it.

-He's welcome to it.

-You're jealous!

-No, I'm not.

-Yes, you are. Admit it. You're jealous.

No. I don't do jealousy! I just don't like the idea of him with my daughter. That's all.

You're jumping the gun a bit. It might be just a fling.

No, no, no. "Item." She said the word "item".

She specifically used the word "item".

And you believed her?

It didn't occur to you that she might just be trying to wind you up?

That's what happens, innit, when you're jealous.

It sort of clouds your thinking.

Well, thank you for that(!) But in the final analysis, I think it'll come to naught,

so you just toddle off and have fun at your munters ball.

You should be grateful I asked you.

You look like you could do with a bit of the other.

There you go.

-Thank you.

-Right, I thought we could go for a bite to eat later.

There's a new gaff opened in Shoreditch everyone's raving about.

Well, I've got lots of work to do. And so have you.

OK, a quiet night in it is, then. A bit of business,

a bit of pleasure.

I think there might have been some sort of misunderstanding.

Look, Friday night was a one-off, never-to-be-repeated moment of weakness.

What's this? You playing hard-to-get? I quite like it.

No, this is me being absolutely clear on the basis of our relationship from now on.

But your preference for working hard to get what you want has been duly noted.

OK. Well, have a nice night in...alone.

What is that, Tiff?

-It's a horse. Duh!

-Oh, yeah. Course it is. Silly me.

-Looks more like a dog.

-What would you know?

-More than you.

You leave Bobby alone.

# Tiffany and Bobby sitting in a tree... #

Excuse me, that's enough! Go back to where you were, please.

-Why?

-Because I said so.

You can't tell me what to do.

Move. Now!

It's like a double celebration - Jim's birthday and Lauren being back.

Hm. It's good to see Lauren doing so well.

Let's just hope she keeps it up.

She will. She's stronger than you think.

Trial by family.

Oh, I think I'll survive.

I was talking about Lauren.

This is before her and Alfie get married. Imagine what it's going to be like.

-I ain't even going to get a look-in, am I?

-We've all got our problems.

-Oh, says the man who's just moved in with his bird.

-No, says the man whose daughter's just come out of rehab.

I didn't know what to say to her.

I felt like everything I did say was just the wrong thing.

Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, it's hard to know what to say, in't it, Alice?

Don't worry. She's all right.

You all right? Yeah?

I just feel like everyone's talking about me.

Yeah, well, they probably are, aren't they?

-Yeah.

-Look, do you want to duck out for a bit?

I'll make an excuse for you.

Ah, here she is - the guest of honour.

-Hello!

-Gran, you made it! Surprise!

Oh, I say. What's all this in aid of?

Well, it's for Grandad. I organised it all myself.

-I got your message.

-Mm.

-I thought we should have a word.

-What about?

Scarlett. She's very wary of strangers.

-And you're telling me because...?

-Because if you're going to be spending more time around her,

there are certain ground rules you need to adhere to.

What makes you think I'm going to be spending more time around Scarlett?

Now that you and Janine are...

I wouldn't say me and Janine are anything.

Ah, really? She blown you out, has she?

Yeah, she can be like that - mercurial.

Let's just say that Janine was coming on a bit strong,

so I've decided to cool it down, shall we?

Quite right. Lucky you. So you won't be seeing her tonight, then?

-No. She's all yours, Michael.

-No, thanks. I'll pass.

So how's Dad?

Oh, you know...

Lauren's done a fantastic job, hasn't she, Dot?

Yes, yes, it's marvellous.

-Yeah, Dad would have loved this.

-Yeah.

That was...that was me. Sorry.

Um, time for a toast.

Yeah, do you want to say a few words, Dot?

Dot?

This is all wrong. No, I'm sorry, but it's all wrong.

-I've got to go.

-Don't be like that. Lauren's worked really hard.

Yes, I know. At least she's made the effort,

however misguided.

It's a shame his own children didn't make the same effort

and go to see their father on his birthday.

I've not quite worked out the logistics of it yet.

We could send a letter home, see who's interested. I think it'd be quite a good idea.

-SHARON CLEARS HER THROAT

-Is everything all right?

-Not really.

Why was Denny excluded from playing with the other kids?

He wasn't excluded. I decided it would be better for everyone

-if he played with the younger kids.

-And why was it exactly?

It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that your little sister was picking on him?

Other way round, actually.

Are you saying my son's a liar?

-Whitney? Do you want to explain?

-Yeah.

Erm, Dennis was saying some stuff to Tiff so I moved him on.

He gave me a lot of lip, actually.

He's a sensitive boy. He wouldn't do that.

So what are you going to do about it?

If Whitney says that Dennis was to blame,

then that's good enough for me.

Oh, right. It's going to be like that, is it?

You still got the hump over that business with Dexter and the catapult?

-Mrs Rickman, I can assure...

-It's not nice, is it, when people go around accusing your son?

The only difference is my son wasn't to blame.

Right. Well, you've obviously made your mind up.

But don't think you've heard the last of it.

Denny, come on, sweetheart. Let's go.

Thanks for backing me up.

My pleasure. Dennis can be a little nightmare sometimes.

I thought you handled it really well.

-It's really good to have you back.

-Thanks.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-So, how was the party?

Oh, yeah, the usual quiet affair, you know. Lauren lost it. Joey covered for her. Dot kicked off.

-So, what fun have I missed here?

-I spent the afternoon listening to Michael moaning about Janine.

What would we do without other people's misfortunes to get us through our day?

Funny you should say that. I'm fed up of sorting out other people's lives,

so I've signed up for that singles night.

Oh, you must be desperate.

I don't know what you're laughing at. I've signed you up an' all.

Ah, seeing as your plans have fallen through tonight,

you might want to give that one a whirl.

Might get a result.

But... I mean, what can I do for you?

We're sorry that we didn't go and see Dad today.

Well, it ain't about today.

Dot, what's wrong?

Nothing. Nothing. I'm fine.

You're obviously upset about something.

Look, I can't talk about this just now, I ain't got time.

I've got my tea to get and I've got to talk to the vicar,

you know, about the flowers for next week's services.

So if you will excuse me, I'll be very...

Dot, we're not going anywhere till you tell us what's wrong.

When was the last time that you went to visit your father?

Well, I've had a lot on, Dot, you know, with Lauren an' all that.

Yeah, and I've, you know, I've been really busy working.

Gallivanting more like, with that Mr Masmood.

And what's your excuse, Jack?

-You haven't been to see him for months.

-You ain't? What's the matter with you?

-I've had a lot on my plate.

-What, don't you think I have?

-Look at the pair of you, bickering,

trying to shift the blame.

Every day - well, nearly every day - I go to visit your father.

And every day there is a little bit less of him left.

And every day he sits looking at your photos.

Look, I'm sorry, Dot. I'll go and see him tomorrow.

And what then?

Forget about him till the next time I remind you?

You don't have to do this all on your own, Dot.

But I do, Carol. I do. Because if I don't, who will? You?

I mean, he's your father. He brought you up

and he fed and he clothed you.

And I know that you've got your own lives

and your own troubles,

and I know that you've got children what need you.

But he needs you, too.

I know he ain't always been a saint,

but how many birthdays do you reckon that he might have left?

And I can't do it all on my own. I can't.

I want to. But I can't.

Dot, I've not seen you around much lately.

I didn't realise it's been such a strain on you. I'm sorry.

Look, Dot, we'll try and make sure things are different from now on, all right?

-Yeah, for a start, you don't need to go and see Dad every day, do you?

-I do. I can't just abandon him.

-I mean, what would people say?

-Well, you won't be, will you?

Don't worry what they say. They'll have to answer to us.

They're right. It's too much for you to go every day. You need your rest.

-Yeah, Dot. The days you're not there, one of us will go.

-Yeah, that's right.

It's just that I want to know that you're looking out for him.

You know, that you'll go and visit him sometimes?

-Well, we will.

-Yeah, we'll see to it.

You OK?

Well, that went well, didn't it(?)

Yeah, well, it wasn't your fault, was it?

I just wanted to do something right. Something good.

I know. Well, you did, didn't you?

Thank you.

Thank you for covering for me earlier.

That's all right. That's what friends are for, innit?

Yeah.

And is that all we are then... just friends?

Er, look, Lauren, babe, you really need to focus on your recovery.

Do you still love me?

I don't want to be the reason that you don't get better properly.

-Right, so I'll see you a bit later on, yeah?

-Yeah.

You OK?

Yeah. I'm good. I'm really good.

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