16/09/2013 EastEnders


16/09/2013

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# No, I can't take one more step towards you

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# Cos all that's waiting is regret

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# Don't you know I'm not your ghost any more

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# I lost the love I loved the most

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# I learned to live half a life

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# Now you want me one more time... #

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Oh, flaming aunts! Turn it off, will you?

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You OK?

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If I ever get to be a DJ, Kat, I will make it an absolute rule

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that you can only play happy songs before lunchtime!

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-You're a real life-saver.

-Oh, it's fine.

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Plenty of time. I could make sausage surprise with my eyes shut.

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-Tommy!

-Jean?

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I am OK. Some things are meant to be, Kat.

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And some things...

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Well, I really do believe that it's probably written in the stars.

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And real life isn't just a bunch of flowers

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and a thoughtfully-chosen box of chocolates.

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And, quite frankly, all that being in a couple

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and having a soul mate, it does have its disadvantages.

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-Yeah?

-Oh, yeah!

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I expect there's loads...

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Some people are destined to be single.

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-You and me, Kat, we'll be old maids together.

-Fabulous.

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Yeah, ten years' time, we'll still be here,

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hanging our glasses on a bit of string round our necks.

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I'm quite looking forward to it, actually.

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There's one thing I really can't bear and that's saying goodbye.

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So, Shirley and Ollie both did me a huge favour,

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just heading off without a backward glance.

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Jean...

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I love you.

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Well...I...

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I love you too, Kat.

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-Touching, innit, boy? Ghastly, but touching.

-Hey, you!

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If you was a real man, you'd know how to fix a leaking tap.

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Would I now?

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If I were you, boy, I'd get yourself to a playgroup.

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Before they start talking about cycles and ovulation.

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So what now?

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I'm going to go and try and sort out Phil's books.

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And I guess you should go to the car lot

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and pretend you know what you're talking about.

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We could go out for some dinner if you fancy it?

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I don't know.

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Tomorrow?

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What about tonight?

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RONNIE LAUGHS

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Come to the club at lunchtime, you can bring me a sandwich.

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Jack...

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I really want to play hard to get, but...

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That must have been what happened.

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-He's gone through that windscreen and it's given him brain damage.

-Oh!

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It must have done! He's put her in charge of the club and everything.

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-She couldn't even look after her own baby.

-Yeah, but...

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Yes. And Lexi ain't going up that hospital again, all right?

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-But Lo...

-No Pops, don't even start.

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I've had enough of Phil putting Ronnie Kray in charge. What's he playing at?

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-I've taken the morning off work now!

-That's good.

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Cos I'm massaging down the gym later,

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so you can go and get Lexi from her childminder's.

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And she can spend some time with her best granddad.

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-You're just humouring me now, aren't you?

-Yes, I'm humouring you.

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Carry on, then, cos I like it.

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I...understand that.

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Just... Tell her I've got to see her today.

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-You know what she's going to say.

-Can you just shut up please, Lauren?

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Right, who died and made you head girl?

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If I want to call my own mum, I will call her.

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Dad needs us here, Abi!

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Maybe he should have thought about that before he cut Carl's brakes.

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How are you this morning? Hello! Hello, everyone!

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Thank you. Bye.

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Bye-bye, Tommy. Bye.

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Oh!

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JEAN LAUGHS

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Why don't you just be honest for once. What's your grudge?

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-I don't know what you're talking about.

-Just upsets you, don't it?

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-The thought of someone just being vaguely happy?

-She swapped my son,

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told you it was yours.

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-I don't know if you "vaguely" remember that?

-This is your son?

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So, a sandwich round the club and, well,

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frankly, tawdry assignations seem a trifle forgiving.

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This is the "son" who calls Alfie, Daddy, yeah?

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She's a functioning psychopath.

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Just admit it, Ronnie knocked you back, didn't she?

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You made a play on her and Ronnie knocked you back

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and that is what this is all about.

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-Is that what she said?

-What? Are you denying it, are you?

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Yeah, I do. Oh, Jack, come on.

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Look at us! I don't want us to fall out again.

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No? Well, you wouldn't on account of you having no mates.

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And, yes, I do vaguely remember. I can't forget it.

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I don't know how this is going to pan out,

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but I will tell you this, Michael. You, back off.

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Now why don't you go and get Alice, you know,

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clean your floor with a toothbrush or maybe go and torture Janine

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or whatever it is that gets you off...

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You back off Ronnie.

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You all right, mate? Yeah, I'll be out with you in a second.

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Yeah.

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You're just going to tell her!

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Fine, if you will not let me speak to my mum,

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then I will go and visit Mum.

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Five minutes of you being there, you know you're going to tell her!

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And then Mum's going to come back here and drag me and you to Exeter

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and then everything's out the window, innit?

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Well, I'd say your dad being up for nearly killing someone

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is quite a big deal! I mean, maybe if Nan was here and...

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He didn't do it, Abi! How many times? He did not do it!

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What, just like YOU are not addicted to alcohol?

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All right, he said he did it to my face, Lauren.

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I mean, why would he do that?

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And who else would have done it? What, Carl cut his own brakes?

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Phil fancied a holiday on the NHS? I mean, how many times?

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I am sick of trying to concentrate.

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And I am sick of being the only one round here with half a brain

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and that includes your new FRIEND, the current wife.

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I mean, really, Lauren? Haven't...

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haven't WE had enough?

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I'll just leave your washing here then, Patrick!

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Cos a man can't garden properly without his gardening trousers!

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Well, that's what Ollie always used to... Yeah.

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Anyway. Not a problem!

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I was picking up a couple of little things for Ian anyway!

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Right!

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Ah! Oh!

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JEAN PUFFS BREATHLESSLY

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She's dangerous and she's mental.

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Listen, Danny gets the responsibility because he

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-just keeps proving himself.

-Yo! I'm standing here, you know?

-Lucy?

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-OK.

-OK, OK. Look, you want the challenge. Here.

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Local rent rises. You have the almighty job

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of making sure these are all delivered in person.

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Yeah, come on, hurry up. Civilisations came and went. Jog on.

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JANINE SIGHS

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By the way, the hand in the face, it's not working.

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By the way, the face just isn't interested.

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Look, I don't want Ronnie Mitchell anywhere near Scarlett.

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No, no, it's fine. Ronnie Mitchell walks into a room,

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any room, Scarlett's there, we walk out. I've already told Alice.

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We agree, then.

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Yeah. I guess anything can happen once if you wait long enough.

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-Treasure the moment.

-You should.

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JANINE CLEARS HER THROAT

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Um, I pay you.

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-And you WORK for me.

-But I took the morning off.

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What's this? Some sort of a calorie challenge?

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No, no, no, see I'm supposed to be taking Lexi up to see Phil, but...

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Hold on, hold on, hold on.

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This is what we call emergency equipment

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for those toddler meetings at the gym.

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So, I do this

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and then YOU can tell me all about it whilst you clean my windows.

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-What I was going to do was take the day off...

-And then I can nod and I can smile,

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just like I do with all the other boring mummies.

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-I can't, I've made other arrangements...

-Oh, very good!

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Then it's... # The wheels on the bus go round and round

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# Blah blah blah blah blah blah... #

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Get back to work.

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I'm just getting over a migraine.

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Yeah, but he's meant to be fixing a leak in our kitchen!

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Look, I'm sure he'll be there. He won't let you down, OK?

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And he won't have forgotten.

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All right. Cheers.

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Just a coffee, please.

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CAR HORN TOOTS

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Money, you see.

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Money. It is the root of all evil.

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I think Ollie would agree with me... Oh!

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I can't utter three words without mentioning the man!

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I'm not going to feel bad. I hardly know Ava.

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No, course you won't!

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Although, quite honestly, I'd rather have a little garden

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and a water butt and live off my cabbages than tell someone

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their rent is going up by 25%.

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But then, I'm not your father's daughter.

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YOU are your father's daughter. And your father, well...

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Ian has a heartless, ruthless business streak in him.

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Just like Janine.

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And if either of them want an actual friend,

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well, all they have to do is go out and employ one.

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Single-minded, it's an asset.

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You've probably inherited it.

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And all my poor Stacey got was bipolar.

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-You got the stuff?

-Yes. Yes. Tell Sadie I've got everything.

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-Right, don't work too hard, will you?

-I won't.

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PHONE RINGS

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'Hi, you've reached Beauty.

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'We're sorry there's no-one here to take your call,

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'but please leave your name and number at the tone

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'and someone will get back to you.'

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'Hi. Message for Lola. It's the childminder, Megan Phillips.

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'Nothing to worry about, but Lexi's running a bit of a temperature.

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'I'll... I'll try your other numbers.'

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BILLY'S MOBILE RINGS

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Er, who is paying your wages?

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BILLY SIGHS

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PHONE RINGS IN BUCKET

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PHONE RINGS INSIDE HOUSE

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If he was on benefits, he'd get free legal aid.

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If he wins, we do get the money back.

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We could pay it off in instalments.

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Where are WE going to get ten thousand pounds? I don't know.

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His brain is in his pants. His heart is in his pants.

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-Just don't, Abi.

-No. No, I know that it is gross, all right?

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But the fact is that he only cares about us or Bradley

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when we are running him over or hooked on a drip.

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Or any of the other mad stuff that YOU have had to pull, Lauren,

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to drag his head out of his pants for five minutes!

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Yeah, well, we can't just leave him to it, can we?

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No, he will be fine. Our father will always be fine.

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But us? Left behind? You in rehab.

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My messed up exams.

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Having to pick up the pieces. Having to sort out this...

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This, because of one more random woman. One more time.

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-Oh, I could just leave him...

-Well, you can't.

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WE can just leave him to it.

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Abi, he didn't do it.

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What choice? Honestly?

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What choice do we have?

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Come on. I need to get to football, so I can get my massage, man.

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Your dad's going to be here any minute.

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Yeah, but I did say FREE massage, Mum. You hearing me?

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You are carrying on like a little pervert! Go on, then.

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All right. See you later.

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JEAN SHOUTS

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-I'm all right! I'm all right!

-Are you sure?

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-Yeah, I'm not late for lunches yet.

-You're going to wear yourself out.

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I know. I'm making myself useful. Keeping myself busy.

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Because it is a bit horrid, isn't it, missing people?

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It's like dying, but without the funeral.

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You'd know. I've seen you looking through the window for your sister.

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-There's something...

-If I wear my body out,

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then my head might let me get some sleep tonight.

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Well, that's the thinking, anyway... You know what?

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I really am very lucky, you know?

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To get to my age and have someone like me for a little while.

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I mean, who'd have thought it?

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Cos that's never going to happen again, is it? No, no.

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-Meeting Ollie was a very, very lovely thing.

-OK. Now listen, stop...

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-Yes, yes. Lunches.

-Jean! Jean!

-Sausages don't come ready made with the surprise in them, do they?

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JEAN DROPS BAGS AND SHOUTS

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-Oh!

-Couldn't go without saying goodbye, could I?

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But, I can't bear...

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You know, I...

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I don't do goodbyes.

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Jean!

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RONNIE SIGHS

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LEXI COOS

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RONNIE LAUGHS

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RONNIE SIGHS

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LEXI COOS

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Jean?

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Jean?

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You know, I saw you, Jean,

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at my retirement do...

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..and it all came flooding back.

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The feeling.

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Cos I'd tried to ignore them.

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And I've been debating with myself ever since I last seen you.

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And what I wanted to say was...

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..I should have tried harder...

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But I didn't.

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I've been kicking myself ever since I walked away.

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I know you're not a condition, Jean.

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You're a person.

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A really very, very nice person...

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And...

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I'm sorry. You know sometimes I just...

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I don't know. Maybe I've seen too much.

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Anyway. All too little too late.

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I've got to say goodbye, Jean.

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I'm leaving.

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I've, um..

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Well, I've bought a little bungalow down in Brighton, actually,

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with a garden.

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I've packed up.

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Van's coming at half three.

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Will you...?

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I know you won't come with me. I've blown that, but...

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I think I've been lucky to have known you this short while.

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I was hoping maybe you'd send me a Christmas card or...

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..or tell me how your cabbages are coming along?

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No. Well...

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I love you, Jean.

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You...

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..talk too much.

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Which even for an ex-police officer is probably not a plus.

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And jumping to any conclusions about me and my...

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I have bipolar, Ollie.

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And recently, most of the time, I am perfectly fine, thank you very much.

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You are so much better than fine.

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Well, you should have asked me.

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You could have...

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(Ask me.)

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What, you'll forgive me?

0:20:190:20:22

You'll come to Brighton?

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Now, listen, Jean,

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I've got a garden with a water butt

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and there's a horticultural society.

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I mean, think about the wonderful things we could grow together.

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I know. I talk too much.

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Jean...

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come with me.

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Please.

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Did she not make it perfectly clear?

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Are you actually trying to do her head in?

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BABY CRIES

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BABY SCREAMS

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She's lovely.

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Good genes.

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Well, when she eventually turns up, I'll give you a shout.

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Come and meet my granddaughter.

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If she's touched her, I'll never forgive you.

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Me?! It's your childminder, or Phil's childminder, that's given Lexi to a complete stranger, innit?

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-That's breaking all the rules, that is.

-Oh, what? Some middle-aged blonde bird that lives at Phil's?

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How's the childminder supposed to know the difference between a Sharon and a Ronnie, eh?

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-Pops, what if Ronnie's snatched her?

-Look, Ronnie lost a baby, all right?

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She lost the plot for a bit. But she's not a loon, OK? She's family.

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No, Pops, she IS a loon! Anyway, you're the one supposed to look after her.

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-You were supposed to watch her. If anything's happened...

-Janine shouted and I dropped my phone in a bucket!

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-I'm sorry.

-IF she's touched her, I will never forgive you.

-Oh, Lola!

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-Jean is fragile.

-Oh, I'm not that fragile.

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What gives you the right that you can just keep playing with her feelings?

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-Anyone can see he's not playing.

-No, it's all right.

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Kat told me how she felt when I called over.

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-And I don't blame her.

-When did you call over?

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-When did he call over?

-He knows that she cares about him.

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-That is the whole point, Essex.

-I didn't know you'd called over.

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But he still legged it the first minute it looked like she wasn't perfect.

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So, how is that going to work, Jean? How is that loyal?

0:22:390:22:42

Do you know what? We all make mistakes, Walford. Ask Alfie.

0:22:420:22:46

Cos there's no such thing, all right? Nobody's perfect.

0:22:460:22:50

But see her? She is way much better than you deserve.

0:22:510:22:55

Lo, wait.

0:23:000:23:01

I'm so sorry, sweetie. >

0:23:010:23:03

No...

0:23:030:23:05

What are you looking at me like that for? Hey? >

0:23:050:23:08

I'm the one who's scared here. >

0:23:080:23:10

I'm absolutely terrified.

0:23:100:23:12

I didn't... I didn't do anything to her.

0:23:130:23:17

That woman, Megan, she just dropped her off.

0:23:180:23:20

I didn't know what to do.

0:23:200:23:22

I mean, she's all right, though, isn't she? I mean, she's all right?

0:23:220:23:26

-We knew she would be, didn't we? Hey?

-Yeah.

0:23:260:23:29

Yeah, course we did. I mean, you're family, ain't you?

0:23:290:23:34

BABY GURGLES

0:23:340:23:37

INDISTINCT CHATTER

0:23:580:24:01

-Were you there?

-No. That's not what I'm saying.

0:24:120:24:15

She's locking us out. She's not eating.

0:24:150:24:17

-She's getting herself in the bath fully dressed.

-Kat...

0:24:170:24:19

-She can't even bring herself to wash her own hair.

-I do wash my own hair.

0:24:190:24:22

So you don't know, all right? You don't. And don't tell me what's best for my family,

0:24:220:24:27

just because you have managed to creep your way into my and my ex-husband's bed.

0:24:270:24:31

-It's complicated.

-Excuse me - creep? Me and Alfie are solid, Kat, do you understand?

0:24:310:24:35

Yes, we are. We're solid.

0:24:350:24:36

It's history! In the past! All of it!

0:24:360:24:39

OK?

0:24:390:24:41

Although, you do need to know, Ollie,

0:24:410:24:44

that none of that was a lie.

0:24:440:24:46

None of what Kat said.

0:24:460:24:49

-Yeah, well, we've all got a few skeletons in the cupboard, ain't we?

-She's got loads.

0:24:500:24:55

When I've had a few glasses at Christmas,

0:24:550:24:57

I like the odd crafty fag.

0:24:570:24:59

That's very similar to living with a mental-health issue, yeah(?)

0:24:590:25:02

Yeah, well, we'll manage!

0:25:020:25:04

If that's what Jean wants.

0:25:060:25:08

Jean, I asked him

0:25:110:25:13

if he could promise that he'd be there for you, and he said no.

0:25:130:25:17

So, what's changed?

0:25:170:25:19

Except your mind. For today.

0:25:190:25:21

You are already loved.

0:25:220:25:24

She's loved.

0:25:240:25:27

And you are wanted, Jean.

0:25:270:25:29

And you're needed, all right?

0:25:300:25:33

She belongs here. Don't you?

0:25:330:25:35

Oh...

0:25:360:25:38

I, um...

0:25:380:25:39

Thank you for the flowers and the chocolates.

0:25:530:25:57

Because although they're a cliche, I do like a nice cliche.

0:25:570:26:01

I'm ever so sorry.

0:26:070:26:09

I...I...I...

0:26:160:26:18

I live on Albert Square.

0:26:180:26:20

I can't just up sticks and live a life gardening in Brighton, can I?

0:26:220:26:27

Because I do. I...

0:26:270:26:28

I belong here.

0:26:300:26:32

Yeah.

0:26:350:26:36

Yeah.

0:26:460:26:47

Bye, Jean.

0:26:510:26:53

Bye, Ollie.

0:26:530:26:55

Ollie...

0:27:000:27:03

You'll want to grow some rock roses and lavandula, won't you?

0:27:030:27:07

If you're living by the seaside.

0:27:070:27:10

I bet they'll look lovely.

0:27:100:27:13

Rock roses.

0:27:130:27:15

It's for the best. It's for the best.

0:27:280:27:30

Oh, yeah.

0:27:300:27:32

RADIO ON

0:27:350:27:37

# ..To ever fall back in your arms

0:27:370:27:43

# I learned to live half alive

0:27:440:27:49

# And now you want me one more time

0:27:510:27:56

# And who do you think you are

0:27:570:28:00

# Running round leaving scars?

0:28:000:28:04

# Collecting your jar of hearts

0:28:040:28:07

# Tearing love apart

0:28:070:28:10

# You're gonna catch a cold

0:28:100:28:13

# From the ice inside your soul

0:28:130:28:17

# So don't come back for me

0:28:170:28:19

# Who do you think you are? #

0:28:190:28:23

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