10/12/2013 EastEnders

BUSKER: # When the snowman brings the snow

# He's put a great big smile on somebody's face

If you're lucky, she'll get the banjo out.

Wow, that's great. And is Haroon coming?

Oh, you're going to eat Kulfi! Kamil's new friend.

They're going to the zoo. They're going to eat kulfi.

Ah, that's sweet! So what animals are you going to see?

Little Kamil's got himself a little friend.

Oh, wow, so are you having fun with Haroon?

I hear the king's leaving his castle.

Don't you ever get tired? I'll take these ones, please.

You know, take it a bit more upmarket.

You wouldn't know what upmarket was. Looks like times are changing, Phil.

# This year, to save me from tears... #

You better hand your notice in today.

She's gonna wonder why, isn't she? Don't play games with me, Lauren.

You don't want me. You don't get a say.

Yeah. Dream on. Listen, good luck today.

Are you ready for your first day back with us?

Yeah. Can't wait. It's gonna be great. Come on.

Are you sure about this? SHE SIGHS

Yep. I've let work slip for far too long.

Yeah, but last time you went back too soon, didn't you?

Life goes on, Billy. Apart from those behind bars,

I don't want my shower before I go to bed. It's rank.

Well, suck it up, then. I want my showers in the morning.

But there's always someone else in there.

You don't even know what they're really like, do you?

thought we could do with a bit more festive cheer around here.

Just sign them. And then it's gonna be over.

Amy, come on, it's time to go to school!

So, want to decorate this bad boy with me later?

I'm not in the mood, Ron. Oh, come on, Roxy.

Lovely, lovely, lovely. Size isn't everything.

No, it's what's inside that counts.

Right, there you go. Cheers. I was video-calling Kamil, you know.

Get you, geek boy! That looks nothing like my signature.

They all say that. That'll do, thank you. He's got a new friend.

Has he? Bet you miss him this time of year, don't you?

So stick a stamp on a bit of love, eh?

Masood, are you looking for Carol? She ain't here, Mas.

No, I was just delivering... Some junk mail. Rubbish. Things.

Is that...? Yeah, it is. Do you do this every year?

Mostly, yeah. But this year, you know, new home and that.

I've made it really big. Bet you miss Lapland.

I'll have a coffee to take away, please.

You know what I'd do with the pub, Phil? Open-plan kitchen.

If you think for one minute I'd sell the pub to you...

You're breaking up your empire, ain't ya?

I'm just offering a hand, if you need cash.

You'd better hope I don't fall through, then.

Wouldn't want Ben to get a little visit in prison, would we?

You stay away from my businesses, and my family.

Oi, would you two get back in the jungle?

Looking good today. Wish I could say the same.

Feisty. I like that. Feisty's just the start of it.

I don't want you talking to him. Will you please stop interfering?

I don't want you anywhere near him. It's my life.

Right, that is ?5.99 each, Mr Mas. ?5.99? Yeah.

No, one for Kamil and one for his friend Haroon.

Yeah, but everyone loves presents. Show him how we do things over here.

some Brussels sprouts or a "Cliff Richard Sings Slade" CD?

You're like the Grinch that stole Christmas, you know.

You can't tell him, bruv. You know that, right?

What is it? What, have I got a second head now or something?

You had no right, talking to your mother like that.

Sometimes things aren't always what they seem to be.

I'm just saying, you're being very unfair to her.

Is this about her and my dad? It's not my place, Dexter.

Look, if someone would tell me where he is,

then he could talk to me himself. Yeah? Then ask her.

what his pathetic excuse of a father done to him.

That one I interviewed for the other day,

Head of the Children's Centre. I'm really sorry.

They did offer me something else though. Same post.

I've got 30 irate customers out there waiting for their lunch.

This your charm offensive to get me to buy half the Vic with you?

Boring boss speech is finished, secret Santa's finished. Come on!

So give them a free drink. Oi listen, it's proper crazy out there!

No customers back here, please. Can I get some service, please?

Listen, have you heard from my dad? Why would I have heard from him?

He did some work for you here. That was ages ago! Be careful with that!

I thought you might have a number or something.

Well, I haven't, all right? Have you got room for two more?

No customers back here, please! There's no-one at the front desk

and I know you've got a big group in, but...

Look, this is really bad timing. It's Lauren's first day.

Just want to treat her to lunch, bit of a gossip.

Staff discount doesn't cover the Christmas menu, but follow me.

She isn't interested. I just wanted five minutes.

So unless you're after a property... I know what you said, but

I haven't stopped thinking about you, Janine. I haven't slept.

Am I not making myself clear here? Billy!

Please can you just go and clean a cupboard or something?

I know my timing isn't great, but can I have a word?

Go away. Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on.

There's a couple of hubcaps' worth left behind the bar.

Get you one with that, shall I? Kat!

You threw a bust through Phil's window. What did you expect?

Well, you know, you and me. We were good together. Were we?

You know we were. We fitted. Like yesterday. When we...

You're trying to wangle your way back between my sheets?

Well, yeah. Obviously I'd love to. Yeah, I bet you would.

I do like it when you're angry, Janine. It's very sexy.

Trust me, Joey. You have not seen me angry yet.

That was like the kind of minor irritation that you feel

when you've got something stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

I think you know that I'm good at everything.

So what, is this the part where you ravish me across the desk?

All right, don't make it a joke, Janine.

And you pretend that it's to buy me something really nice for Christmas.

Or that you've got behind with your rent.

Because you haven't exactly been working a lot lately, have you?

And then I chastise you because you're spending

so much time away, creeping off to see your little sister.

Janine, don't... Which you, of course, protest about.

And I joke, oh, am I paying you for services rendered?

That makes you really riled and that's when you say...

So you can get your sister a better lawyer?

So that she can tell more lies about me?

You really weren't at the front of the queue

when they dished out the brains, were you?

So I've been filling in the Nullity Form.

OK, so what? What do you need? A signature?

No. Not till you get the copy of my petition from the court anyway.

I have to describe how our marriage was never consummated, yeah?

I have to write down that I wanted to have sex with my husband,

I mean, how shaming and embarrassing is that?

Put it in black and white. You don't want me.

I thought we weren't going to need lawyers?

That's the least we can do. None of this was your fault.

I'm not a charity. It's what I'm owed.

She's trying really hard here, all right.

Do me a favour, just put another one in there, yeah?

Aren't you supposed to be picking up Amy soon?

Amy is nothing to do with you now, is she?

He just had to go and get some parts.

I tell you what, he isn't getting any more chances.

I'm looking for my dad. Have you seen him?

Sam. Big guy. He works as a... I know who your dad is.

Yeah, well? He don't like people knowing his business.

He comes and he goes. Wherever the work is. Germany. Spain.

He comes and he goes. He came. He went.

Lauren's been telling me some very interesting things. Yeah?

Yeah, about how her mum used to run the place.

The firms she did deals with, that sort of thing.

Yeah, apart from that, we've just been talking about men.

Nothing bad, I hope? You know what us girls are like.

Anyway, I've got to go and corner Alfie.

Bet you two can't wait to get back to it.

That salon's not going to run itself, you know. See ya.

Taking these to the post office. You want anything?

So you're...are you going to the High Street?

Yeah, cos you don't really want to go that far.

You see, there used to be a local post office.

Nothing. I'm not being odd. I'm not odd.

Are you being odd? Me. No. I don't do odd.

You odd? No. Nothing odd here, then.

I thought a street party for Christmas Day.

You can have it in here if you like. Alfie...

Listen, if it's going to be our last day... A street party.

We've just given Roxy half our takings

and we've got no motor. Well, in for a penny.

We'll go out in style, can't we? That's what I was hoping for.

Sponsorship. Get everyone round the piano. A street party.

I could do my Father Christmas. A street party!

Something a little bit more sophisticated

I hear Terry's very big on Christmas.

Whoa, sweetheart, I can do sophistication, OK? Yeah?

I can give you a hand. If you like? Great. Lovely.

Well, then you can hope on, can't you?

"Beautiful woman?" Is that what you think?

Well, good, I'm glad someone thinks so.

My door's always open to you, Roxy. Are you that desperate?

We could have a private little housewarming.

He told you to stay away from us. Especially her.

Phil doesn't own me. And neither do you...

We're looking out for you. You weren't home yet...

I'm perfectly capable of looking out for myself. Sitting here,

all cosy, cosy with him dribbling all over you? So what,

the guy fancies me! I'm not going sleep with him, am I?

Some men happen to find me attractive.

Unlike my husband, who left me on my wedding day!

I know it can be a bit of a crazy house sometimes.

Have people been talking or something?

Listen, if you've got something to say then you can say it.

You ain't the only one who finds school hard. Liam hates school.

He's been bullied and everything. Is that why he joined a gang?

He mugs people. Kids. No, he don't. No, I don't.

And he got arrested. Knifed. Come on, everyone makes mistakes.

Is that why you became a prostitute? That's enough!

Who have you been talking to? She wasn't a prostitute.

Are you going to let him talk about my kids like that?

You've been to prison yourself for beating someone up. That's enough!

You haven't got a clue what sort of family you've moved us all into?

I do, actually. Because Bianca's told me everything.

"A big sister to look up to," you said to Rosie.

"And a brother, you'll love having a brother."

Everything they've been through and they've turned out like this.

Yeah. And if you ever want to know about my life -

then you go ahead and you just ask me.

Please don't make me out to be a bad person.

In fact, I think you owe them all an apology.

You know, for them brake pads that you went looking for?

I ain't covering up for you any more. I just want answers, Jay.

You ain't going to find 'em in here, are you?

Listen, don't take this the wrong way...

but a man leaves his things behind...

he's obviously going somewhere he can't take 'em.

but she don't blab it round the house.

I've messed everything up, ain't I? You don't make it easy, Tel, no.

Look, I'm still your dad... and you two still come first.

Do we? Well, second to QPR, of course.

Look, it can't be easy for that lot either, can it?

You know, us all turning up. Stinking out the bathroom.

Go on, I've put more brandy in it. Urgh!

Are you even allowed to drink eggnog this early in the month?

Yeah. Don't think you can go opening your presents yet though.

Do you think I'd have let you stop talking to me if you didn't?

I always knew it was Kat and not me, anyway.

Still hurts though, don't it? Yup.

Oi, we're a pair of tragics, aren't we?

We are not tragics. Tragics wear really bad shoes.

Yes, it does. It does, because some bloke had a problem.

No bloke is ever going to come between us ever again, OK? OK.

Rox... What?

Ron, please... No, who's this?

Aunt Sal! It's Aunt Sal. Put Aunt Sal on the Christmas tree.

Rox. Yeah?

Someone is still waiting for your autograph.

Come on, one little squiggle, then you're free. Come on.

It's only money. It's the least she deserves.

Yeah, I know, but you and me, despite everything,

we're going to have the best Christmas ever.

?50 limit and I bet I get a better present than you.

Listen, Kat, I've been thinking, all right...

..about asking Janine... Ask Janine what?

..about buying the Vic. No.

It just means we can stay here, we run it for her, that's all.

Kat, it's no worse than Phil being the governor, is it?

Hello, darling. Hey.

The juke box. You sold it, right? So where's my money?

Yeah? OK, well, how much did you get for it?

You sent it back to him. Dexter...

You see, I knew something didn't add up.

Nan's telling me, things ain't always what they seem, Dex.

Oh, really? Well, it's none of her business...

Look, Mum, stop doing that. That's nothing to do with her.

You're the one who begged him to stay,

you're the one who begged me to get involved.

I give him a kidney and then you just send my dad away.

Look, Mum, please, if you're really not going to tell me what happened,

just give me his address and I can go and talk to him myself.

I know you know. I don't know!

Come on, just tell me what's in the parcel!

I just think we should give her a bit of space, that's all.

I don't want her doing anything stupid.

It's just the annulment stuff. She'll be OK.

Hello, I'm Ellie Crisell with your 90-second update. Paying