27/12/2013 EastEnders


27/12/2013

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Transcript


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Mick, don't.

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Mick!

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That ain't me.

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We really DO need to get an alarm clock.

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Come on, then. There's a good girl. Come on.

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Come on, then, big jump.

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-Yes!

-Good girl.

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Make yourself at home, then.

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So, this is it, L.

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First day of the rest of our lives.

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BANGING ON DOOR

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Who on earth's that?

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-What the hell?

-Yeah...

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there was something I forgot to tell you.

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-They definitely know we're moving in?

-Yes!

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Why aren't they opening the door?

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I couldn't say no to 'em. If it wasn't for Shirley, we wouldn't even be here.

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A thank you card would've been enough.

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Tina, big tick, she can live here.

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But Shirley, there's no flaming way!

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So I let one of them move in, and the other one...

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Finds what shelter she can.

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Well, that's just not an option.

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Then I'm out of here.

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L...

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I am, Mick, I am gone.

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BANGING ON DOOR

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'We're getting pneumonia out here!'

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Hear me out.

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I wanted this pub because I want my sisters with me, L.

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I haven't had that in years.

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-So, if you're going to be mad, you be mad at me.

-I am mad at you.

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I mean proper mad.

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I mean like chucking cups and plates mad.

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Well, how about a frying pan round the head?

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Yeah, if it helps. But we do have a pub to open.

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It might be a bit difficult pulling pints from a hospital bed.

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BANGING ON DOOR

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I get how you feel, I do.

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But I need you to get how I feel as well.

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It's important. They're important to me.

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What's she going to do here, though?

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You put her behind the bar, people'll run a mile.

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BANGING ON DOOR

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BANGING ON DOOR

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All right, I'm coming.

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Morning, Johnny!

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Oh, hi...

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-Be a little prince, fetch them bags in.

-You...what?

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-We've come to stay.

-Oh.

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Oi, Mick!

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-They're inside! They've broken in!

-Easy, L, easy.

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A new start, you said, a new adventure.

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As long as I've got you and you've got me we can do anything.

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After all she's done? She stole money from us...

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And I spoke to her and that will never happen again.

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She will make it up to us. I'll have her cleaning out the khazis or something.

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Here's the deal.

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The minute it goes wrong, and it WILL go wrong, you need to step up.

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You know I will.

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Nothing damages us, that's the bottom line here.

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Smile? Check.

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Happy eyes? Check.

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Let's go.

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Hello! Welcome, one and all.

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For a second there, we thought you might change your mind.

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Us? Never.

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So, the good news, there's room for both of you.

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The bad news is it's in the same room.

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Listen, we need the other room just in case Nancy ever shows up.

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I wouldn't hold my breath.

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Oi, never say never.

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So here we are.

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The Carters, the Vic.

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And Lady Di.

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Oh, Lady Di. Hello, girl.

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Hello.

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I can't believe you let her, Phil.

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I can't believe you let that nasty, evil cow take over my old home.

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I mean, how could you? Surely you heard the name Carter?

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Well, there's millions of Carters, ain't there?

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Anyway, you're the one who told me I was well rid of it.

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Yeah, but this is Shirley!

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You should be dragging the lot of them out of there.

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Toast, dear?

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Don't mind if I do, dear.

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Don't encourage it.

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-It's a "she".

-It's an "it".

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You ignore her.

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Don't you take any notice of her, you beautiful girl.

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Don't you let anybody tell you any different.

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MUSIC: "Wonderwall" by Oasis

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You glad you came?

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I couldn't be happier.

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Once I've unpacked all this lot.

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What about Linda?

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Crying with joy.

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Well, the main thing is that you're here.

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Yeah.

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We've got a lot of catching up to do, Shirl.

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I know.

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I love this song!

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Save your energy, Teen.

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We've got a lot to do before opening time, all right?

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You're at uni, you should know how to fix these things.

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It's just the wi-fi playing up, give it a minute.

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I need to Skype Lee.

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He still out in Iraq, then?

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He's in Afghanistan.

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Same thing.

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Right, well, now that we're all together,

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I brought a little something for us to celebrate with.

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Aw, that's lovely that is.

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Shall we open it now, before it goes stale?

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So, which one's Patty and which one's Selma?

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The Simpsons.

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Oh, never mind.

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Right, stand back. Clear a little space, clear a little space.

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OK, right.

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As of 11am today, there is to be a new world order.

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The Age of the Carters is upon us.

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Are you ready for this? This is massive. Are you ready?

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Right, then, three, two, one!

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Welcome to Walford!

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Careful.

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Not working today?

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Nope.

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Does your dad know that?

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Look, I'm not in the mood.

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If you must know, me and Lola broke up yesterday.

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BANGING ON DOOR

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That's a shame.

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Don't start.

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-Hello.

-Hey, trouble.

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All right, so where have you been?

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Oh, I had to go to my mum and dad's.

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You know, duty calls and all that.

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So, you couldn't answer your phone?

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Well, it was one of them Christmases, weren't it?

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Staring at the telly waiting for it to finish.

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But I did get you a little something, though.

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I meant to give it to you before, but...

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So, do you like it?

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I love it.

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What's the matter with him? Santa not good to him this year?

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Darling, Peter is an idiot.

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Don't call Peter an idiot.

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Thought you hated him now.

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Yes, I do! But...

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but I don't. Pops, why has he done this to me?

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Brilliant. I haven't even got Janine's password.

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SHE SCOFFS

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Lo! Darling, I didn't mean...

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-Hello, you all right?

-All right, mate, yeah.

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-You open?

-Yeah, just logging on. What can I help you with?

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I'm looking for a flat.

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Anywhere in mind?

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Yeah.

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Right here.

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You're wasting your time.

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Where's Denise?

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Day off.

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So open up.

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I don't work here any more. I'm in the Vic now.

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Do you know it?

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Oh, course you do, you used to live there, right?

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I bet you still miss it.

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Well, don't you worry your pouty little head,

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cos it's in safe hands now.

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It won't last, Shirley. You'll blow it, just like you blow everything.

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Oh, here he is, Tweedledum.

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Go on, have a go. Get it over with.

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You done me a favour. Glad to be shot of it.

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You keep telling yourself that.

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Kat and Alfie was the problem, not you.

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Right, let me get this straight, I'm serving behind the bar,

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you come in and ask for an orange juice and then what?

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Then I drink it.

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And if I like the service, I'll order some crisps.

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No, my life is looking really good.

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We're just getting ready for opening now.

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Of course I miss my mother-in-law. Don't be so stupid.

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Elaine, you don't live that far.

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You can come and visit us, whenever you want.

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We... No, we was getting on top of each other at the other place,

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you even said that yourself.

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Listen, the only reason we know how to run a pub is

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cos of what we learned from you.

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Linda would tell you that herself, she will.

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If she was about she would. Course she would.

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Anyway, you keep your advice coming and I've got to go

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cos I've got to crack on.

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But we love you and I'll speak to you soon.

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All right. Ta-ta.

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-We do know what we're doing.

-Yeah, I was just being polite.

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So, let's all prove to ourselves we can do this.

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Cos that clock is ticking.

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Mick, look.

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West Ham? It's a sign.

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It's a signed sign.

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It's a signed sign.

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Kat and Alfie's probably turned 'em off.

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-Right, well I'm going to nip down to the cellar.

-All right.

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Oh, sorry, love. We're not open yet.

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I work here.

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-Sit down a sec, love.

-Yeah.

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There ain't a pretty way of saying this

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but we won't actually be needing anyone.

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Thing is, we've always done it ourselves, and,

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well, now Mick's sisters are here,

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-so we're pretty much covered bar-wise.

-But I've been working...

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Obviously we'll pay you to the end of the week.

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And, please, do come in. Don't... Don't be a stranger and all that.

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-How rude was that?

-You can't get rid of her.

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That's like the ravens leaving the Tower of London.

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What's that mean? The Vic's going to fall on our heads now?

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I don't believe this. We've got an hour and a half before we open

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-and I don't think we've got any beer.

-See? Ravens.

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DOOR CLOSES

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-You all right?

-Yeah.

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This Dracula chair's got to go. It gives me the creeps.

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-You heard from Joey?

-No. I phoned him, texted him. Nothing.

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But he said he was going, so I suppose he's gone.

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Poor kid.

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-We still need to move things around.

-Later, yeah.

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Handed the keys back.

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Come on, Alfie. Endings are just beginnings and all that.

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Yeah, but what do we do? Seriously, what do we do now, yeah?

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We've got a baby on the way.

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And all we've got to do is make sure that he or she

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wakes up in a world that you've made brilliant.

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So come on. Get up and make it happen.

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Right, yeah. Come on.

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Oi.

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-Where you going?

-Sales.

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And you've got to tiptoe to those, do you?

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Yes. She's fallen asleep in there. I didn't want to wake her.

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Oh. What you after?

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What do you think? A bargain.

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DOOR OPENS

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Forgot my purse.

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Oh.

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Since when were you so loaded?

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The barrels are empty. All of 'em.

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How many people were drinking in here yesterday? A million?

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Well, the Moons had a deal on. It was a pound a drink.

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Now she tells us.

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And hang on a minute - weren't you one of those people?

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-Tina was there an' all.

-So what do we do now?

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You're almost out of spirits. Same with the snacks.

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-You work in a supermarket...

-Worked.

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..can't you grab us some stuff?

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We'll need it on tick though. You can do that for us, right?

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I don't work there any more. I chucked it in earlier.

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Outstanding! Really and truly.

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I didn't know it was going to happen, did I?

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Mick, time to step up. Bye, Shirley.

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It's not my fault, is it?

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You're bad luck. Always have been, always will be.

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I tell you what, Linda, why don't you go and talk to Lee

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and when you get back I will have this sorted.

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Her or the pub?

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Just...give him our love, yeah?

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DOOR SLAMS

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If you've got any bright ideas, now's the time.

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Look at this. I could be a white van man

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or hold up the golf sign in the high street.

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You'll be all right. Something will come up.

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Ah, is he moaning? Didn't have to be this way.

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Right, where are you? I haven't got all day, have I?

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Carl, you were meant to be here ten minutes ago.

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-Dad.

-Yeah?

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-You might want to look at this.

-What?

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Where'd you get that?

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-You remember that camping trip?

-Yeah.

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Well, ten grand went missing.

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Cindy took it.

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Cindy?

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Dad, it's Phil's money.

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Wi-fi's down. Looking for a signal.

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-Come on, Denny.

-Loving this place(!)

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-Did you say something?

-I'm loving the way you're so kind and helpful.

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It warms the cockles, really.

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I couldn't be happier knowing I have such fine upstanding neighbours(!)

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-So move then.

-You're a sweetheart, ain't you?

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All I need is a bit of wi-fi.

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My eldest boy goes out on patrol in ten minutes.

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-Wait.

-No forget it. I'll try shouting, he might still hear me.

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Save your voice, we've got wi-fi.

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Your cockles warmed yet?

0:17:430:17:44

Where the hell is she? I'm going to throttle her.

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Forget Cindy.

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The main thing is you need to give that money back to Phil.

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-And you need to tell him that you found it.

-I can't do that.

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Why not?

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If I do that it'll all kick off again.

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You do realise that Dexter's been paying that back.

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We all have, bit by bit.

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Just scraping it together, doing whatever we can.

0:18:050:18:09

I'm sorry, Peter, that's just the way it's got to be.

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We never saw this money before.

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So I do you a favour and then I just get nothing in return?

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No wonder Phil hates you!

0:18:180:18:20

-All right?

-All right?

0:18:230:18:24

Right then, Mr Moon.

0:18:270:18:28

What wild and crazy idea you got to rock my world?

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Take your pick, sweetheart.

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We've been knocking on your door.

0:18:340:18:35

You left this behind.

0:18:380:18:39

But that's not the reason we're looking for you.

0:18:390:18:41

Shirl, just let me.

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So... I was thinking, how do I play this?

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Do I try tears? Do I sit here bawling my eyes out

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cos there's no beer in the barrels? Or do I come to you

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and hope you're decent people and ask for your help?

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And you thought a football shirt would ease the way?

0:19:000:19:03

No.

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-It is West Ham.

-Come on, Alfie! You owe Mick.

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-You drained the Vic dry.

-Shirl.

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I know how you feel, and I would be the exact same,

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but from one West Ham fan to another, I need help.

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Sorry, we're out of that game now.

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All right, you've got contacts though, right, we know that!

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Fair enough. I thought it was a long shot.

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Look, you got any problems, right, they're with Phil, not with us.

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Shirl, Shirl. When I say, "Keep schtum, I'll handle it,"

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what exactly do you think I mean by that?

0:19:420:19:44

Oh, and you call that handling it?

0:19:440:19:47

Like we ain't got enough to think about, eh?

0:19:490:19:51

-TV:

-'It's one of the things that frightens people in the world

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'more than anything. There's no way I can go home without...'

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I remember mine being that age.

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Can't believe they're grown up now.

0:20:080:20:10

Well, Johnny almost is.

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COMPUTER BEEPS

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Right, there you go.

0:20:140:20:16

Denny, come and have a look at this. Linda's son's a soldier.

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Not that I'm ever going to let you be one, mind.

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Come on, darling.

0:20:220:20:24

TV CHATTERS IN BACKGROUND

0:20:240:20:26

SHE GASPS

0:20:410:20:43

Hello, darling. Happy Christmas!

0:20:430:20:45

Did you get your Christmas dinner?

0:20:480:20:51

Ours was awful. I burnt the turkey!

0:20:510:20:54

Phil, I need a favour.

0:20:590:21:01

No, don't laugh. The Vic is drier than a desert.

0:21:010:21:05

You must have some contacts or mates that can help.

0:21:050:21:08

It's not really my world any more.

0:21:080:21:10

Well, the R&R's got plenty of booze.

0:21:100:21:12

Sharon would rather drink it herself than let you have any of it.

0:21:120:21:15

Oh, so this is you now, is it?

0:21:150:21:17

What do you mean?

0:21:170:21:19

Well, what happened to, "I don't care," earlier?

0:21:190:21:21

Still stands.

0:21:210:21:23

Well, then pull your finger out and help me. I want to show that

0:21:230:21:26

stuck-up sister-in-law of mine what I'm made of.

0:21:260:21:28

And how am I going to explain that to Sharon, eh?

0:21:280:21:30

Explain? You?

0:21:300:21:33

I'm sorry, I thought I was talking to Phil Mitchell,

0:21:330:21:36

not Colonel Wimp.

0:21:360:21:37

All right, you, be safe. Don't be a hero.

0:21:390:21:43

We all love you. Bye.

0:21:430:21:46

You all done?

0:21:590:22:00

Yeah, thanks. And I'm sorry for mouthing off.

0:22:000:22:04

Crowface turned up this morning. Threw me a bit.

0:22:040:22:07

Crowface?

0:22:070:22:09

Shirley. But you didn't hear me say that.

0:22:090:22:12

Oh, so you two don't get on then?

0:22:120:22:14

We have major history. She's done things you wouldn't believe.

0:22:140:22:18

She's done plenty round here an' all.

0:22:180:22:20

Not like this, she hasn't.

0:22:200:22:22

If I could put a continent between us, I would.

0:22:220:22:26

You take my advice, steer well clear.

0:22:260:22:29

You don't know the half of that woman.

0:22:290:22:31

Yes.

0:22:310:22:34

Home, sweet home.

0:22:340:22:35

Yeah, see, Phil ain't winning any more.

0:22:350:22:37

You want to get in there now, do you?

0:22:440:22:46

You should've thought about that.

0:22:460:22:47

How about I use your head to open that door?

0:22:470:22:49

Not in the Vic? It's almost opening time.

0:22:490:22:52

Or is it going wrong already?

0:22:520:22:54

SHARON LAUGHS

0:22:540:22:55

And how long did that last, Shirley? An hour?

0:22:550:22:59

You're pathetic.

0:22:590:23:00

PHONE RINGS

0:23:030:23:05

Yeah?

0:23:090:23:11

Here. This was on the floor this morning.

0:23:180:23:20

Let's just get the pub open, yeah?

0:23:250:23:27

Yeah. You'll be lucky. Auntie Shirley was right, weren't she?

0:23:270:23:31

About the ravens?

0:23:310:23:33

Listen, you're meant to be a smart boy.

0:23:330:23:35

Who in their right mind would believe that?

0:23:350:23:37

It was all a bit hasty and we'd love you to stay working here.

0:23:370:23:40

KNOCKING

0:23:420:23:43

-ALFIE:

-Anyone home? I've got some booze and crisps out here.

0:23:430:23:47

Mum, you've got it going on.

0:23:490:23:52

Come on, the Hammers!

0:23:580:24:01

-Where'd you get this?

-I'm just that type of bloke, ain't I?

0:24:010:24:03

So can you get hold of anything?

0:24:030:24:05

Absolutely. What you got in mind, young man?

0:24:050:24:07

Exam papers would go down a treat. Along with the answers.

0:24:070:24:09

Listen to him.

0:24:090:24:10

Mick Carter.

0:24:100:24:12

Alfie Moon.

0:24:130:24:15

What changed your mind?

0:24:150:24:16

I think it's called moving on.

0:24:200:24:22

There you go, Mick. There's one there for you.

0:24:220:24:26

So, do you get down the Hammers much?

0:24:260:24:28

Yeah, love it. Love it.

0:24:280:24:29

You could...stay at mine. On the sofa.

0:24:300:24:36

And then we could go out first thing and start looking for jobs.

0:24:360:24:40

Well, it'd certainly beat dossing on my mate's floor.

0:24:400:24:43

That is if your dad doesn't mind.

0:24:430:24:45

He'll do what I tell him.

0:24:470:24:48

It'd only be for a few days anyway.

0:24:500:24:52

If nothing comes up I'll probably move on.

0:24:520:24:54

Something will come up.

0:24:560:24:57

I hope so. I'm starting to enjoy myself here.

0:24:590:25:03

It's on the house.

0:25:120:25:13

SHE SIGHS

0:25:190:25:20

So, how much do you need?

0:25:280:25:29

Everything you've got.

0:25:290:25:30

That place has got to be open in ten minutes.

0:25:300:25:32

Well, you know what they say, don't you?

0:25:320:25:35

One good turn deserves another.

0:25:350:25:37

What did you have in mind?

0:25:390:25:40

Ron? Amy?

0:25:460:25:49

DOOR CLOSES

0:25:490:25:52

-RONNIE:

-Let's put the bags down, shall we?

0:25:520:25:55

-Hi. Hey.

-Hi.

0:25:550:25:58

Has Auntie Ronnie been spoiling you, has she?

0:25:580:26:01

Did you have a nice day?

0:26:010:26:03

Yeah. She loved it.

0:26:030:26:04

Good. Good. Well, I had a nice day.

0:26:040:26:08

Thanks for asking.

0:26:080:26:09

I saw you.

0:26:100:26:12

What, at the sales?

0:26:120:26:14

No, with Carl.

0:26:140:26:15

I bumped into him.

0:26:170:26:18

I didn't really see you.

0:26:210:26:22

Then again, I suppose I didn't need to, did I, hey?

0:26:240:26:27

Here. Grab this.

0:26:270:26:28

Sun cream.

0:26:300:26:32

It's winter, Ronnie.

0:26:320:26:34

Not in Ibiza.

0:26:340:26:35

I'm taking you and Amy for a little holiday.

0:26:350:26:38

Right then. Shall we put ourselves on the map?

0:26:410:26:46

Yes.

0:26:460:26:47

-Five!

-Four!

0:26:470:26:48

-Hang on a minute. What about Shirl? She should be...

-Three!

0:26:480:26:51

-Two.

-One!

0:26:510:26:52

Oh.

0:26:560:26:57

Bit slow, innit?

0:27:150:27:16

-All right, Mick?

-Alfie.

0:27:200:27:22

I thought I'd introduce you to some of the usual suspects.

0:27:220:27:24

This is Billy and Tel. They're all dying for a bevvy.

0:27:240:27:27

Don't look like a gay bar, does it?

0:27:290:27:31

How many you been in?

0:27:310:27:32

I haven't.

0:27:320:27:34

What'll it be, handsome?

0:27:340:27:35

-ALFIE:

-He'll have a snowball.

0:27:350:27:37

-Three pints of lager, please.

-Done.

0:27:380:27:40

-Is it cold out there?

-It's freezing, sweetheart.

0:27:460:27:49

Just like old times, eh?

0:27:560:27:58

You said it.

0:28:000:28:01

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