31/12/2013 EastEnders

To bring in the new year.

Oh! I get champagne? You get EVERYTHING.

Paris. Paris?

Tomorrow. I've booked it. Champagne in the suite. Restaurant booked.

Shoe shops open again on Thursday - I checked.

So, it's a date? Oui?

Oui? My French is a bit rusty! ROXY CHUCKLES

How about this one? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Oh, I know what that means!

PHONE VIBRATES

Hi, Roxy, it's me. Look I'm really sorry about before, but...

can you call me back? I really need you today.

Your boat reminds me. Must keep Lady Di on a leash tonight,

cos of the fireworks. Ha, ha, ha! Funny!

What you growling at her for? Girl's World, I ain't.

Phil's welcome to it. Well, Tina said you were serious about him once.

Yeah, I was when he had the pub.

Phil's looks improve with free drinks attached.

It does do New Year round here, don't it?

Yeah! Walford loves a good party.

CAR HORN BEEPS

How long you going to sulk for, eh?

2014? '15? '16?

Oh, really think you're special, don't you? Well, I have my moments.

You think I'll be grateful?

For some bald, clapped-out pain in the backside...

I know, I know, I know, recovering alcoholic. Dodgy ticker. But, er,

above average in bed.

Come on, Sharon. Pack, yeah?

Move in. I'll pick you and Denny up in an hour.

So you just click your fingers and I fall at your feet? Well, what d'you want?

Dating? Wooing? Like you'd know how!

You had a better offer? Or are you going to spend New Year's Eve home alone?

The Vic...actually.

Erm, I was just wondering when you're going.

I seen the teddy and I thought it must be... Yeah. It's for James.

It's for James.

Oh. It's nice. I seen you with it outside earlier.

So? I just assumed you must be going to the grave.

Well, I'm not going. Well, why? What's made you change your mind?

And I've a night off from being sensible.

Denny's staying with a mate.

A mate? Uh-huh. How lovely, he's got a friend!

So, he's settling down now, is he?

Yeah. Yeah, he's fine.

Not getting on with your electric cig, then?

No, I'm sorry, it don't work.

Have you still got the receipt for it?

Cos you'll have to take it back. Look, I'll show you. Give it here.

OK. Right.

Oh! You don't light it, Dot! Why not?

I mean, you said to use it like a normal cigarette!

What else do I do with it? What're you laughing at, Sharon?

DOT TUTS You are a naughty girl!

Look, isn't there a party or something you should be going to?

It is New Year's Eve.

You were on your own that night, weren't you?

That New Year's Eve?

I really don't want to discuss that with you.

It must have been so hard? Lola, I think you should go.

I was thinking, maybe we could go down to the flower stall.

Maybe get a little white bunch of flowers made up?

It's just, if me and Lexi are coming,

we'd like to bring a little something....

If we're quick, we can still catch the flower stall.

So, I can smoke this in the Vic, can I?

I don't have to go outside, catch me death?

Technology, Dot. It's moved on. Oh!

If you turn your back for a minute, they computerise everything.

Sometimes I daren't sit still in case they computerise me!

You are irreplaceable, Dot. Really.

Yeah, but not everything's irreplaceable, is it, Sharon?

I mean, feelings.

There ain't no electronic gadget in place of them.

What you going to do about him?

I don't know. I think he had his chance years ago.

He don't deserve a second one.

I know what it's like to live with someone whose heart ain't in it.

He's not like your Dennis.

Maybe I'll never have that again.

Oh, I hate New Year, Dot. Brings it all back.

I know.

I miss him such a lot. He was a lovely friend to me.

But there are some men out there like him.

Just be careful, eh, Sharon?

(Yeah.)

Can we only have a couple in the Vic, then move on? I'm NOT watching him mope over Lola all night.

You know what boys are like. Couple of drinks in 'em, they'll be snogging someone else's face off.

Apparently, it's a New Year's superstition -

on the first day you've got to bring a piece of coal into the house.

Way I'm feeling I could eat a bag of coal right now. Yeah?

And a saveloy. What we need is luck with this one.

No worries, sweetheart. We make our own luck, don't we?

I've been thinking about him today - James.

Ronnie? Shall we go?

This ain't a party. This place needs music.

This place needs a Ouija board. Don't worry, it'll liven up.

Beautiful. One on there. Ugh! Get a room.

Get a man! You getting changed?

Are you? Johnny?

Ain't told me why you had it on your toes last night before last orders.

I was tired. You lightweight! Stay till the midnight bell tonight.

The ladies of Walford expect.

They got me! Not feeling ill are you, sausage?

Maybe I should run you a bath. Bit old to be Mummy's boy, ain't he?

Childcare tips from you? I think Johnny pulled.

Face. Guilt. Who was it?

What? Her?

Premier League, my son, Premier League.

Don't say nothing to her.

LEXI BABBLES

Listen...thanks for today. It really meant a lot.

Yeah? I hope you're going to be OK.

Yeah.

Come on, then. Say, "Bye!" Bye.

You working here now? Ah, yeah.

Kim pulled a bloke in a kebab queue last week. Oh, romantic!

Oh, no, she's in love. She flew off to Magaluf with him,

leaving me with a begging note to cover her shifts for her.

Lucky you! Ian not wining and dining you, then?

What? And give up a night raking in a 30% mark up?

I don't think so! You ain't on a date, then?

Long story. Fancy telling it over a drink?

Yeah, go on. Come on.

Mrs B, I know you don't drink, but maybe just the one?

No, I've had bubbles up my nose all afternoon.

Come on, just one? Oh, all right, I'll have fizzy water,

and you can put a drop of elderflower cordial in it.

Put it in a wine glass, stick a cherry in it,

and it'll look festive. OK.

Come on, Dot, come and join us.

Ooh!

Trying to get me drunk? Maybe.

Pouring away my profits? Sucker for beautiful women, ain't we, son?

Oh, in my experience....

Mrs Branning? Sherry, ain't it?

Large?

Oh, I never touch alcohol, except for medicinal purposes.

"Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess..."

Only I felt we got off on the wrong foot earlier.

Well, paw, to be exact.

Well, the Royal Family ain't to be laughed at.

I'm a Royalist!

You don't sound like it! I mean, they ain't even pretty dogs.

Bulldogs? They're beautiful dogs. Kind, gentle, they love kids.

And I loved her. July 1st. Princess Di's birthday. And mine.

Proper lady she was.

It's only a computer.

So, I'm thinking a couple in here and then we kick out, yeah?

We've just got here. Yeah, I know. But we're on a timetable.

Yeah. A Lola timetable. And you know it's bros before...

Well, the mandem are going to be rolling with you tonight

and the girls are going to have a drink together.

Poppy would have gone with them, but her wisdom tooth's flared up..

And Lola's on her way here now to meet the girls, so...

So we need to stay.

Stay in? Watch Abi and Jay play happy families,

babysitting every toddler in the Square?

Can't I just spend New Year's with you? We'll make up, yeah?

Max! New Year's Eve? Shouldn't you be marrying someone about now?

Yes, handsome? Yes please. Orange juice.

Two orange juices. Sherry for Dot.

And a pint of cyanide for that one, please .

Made your New Year resolutions yet? Yeah, I have, as it goes.

Stay single. Cuts down on the in-laws.

That's nice. That? Present.

From a boyfriend? You ask so many questions.

More champagne? Is that a better question?

No, actually, cos I've got to go home. But, er, thank you.

But there's going to be kisses at midnight... See you later.

She seems nice. Yeah.

Yeah, she is. Deserves someone decent.

Which my son is. But then, he had a decent family.

Bartender?

Same again, please, treacle. You know what I like.

Johnny. A word, upstairs.

Drinking alone? No. With my daughter. Cheers.

Why not with me? For old times' sake? I ain't doing anything with you. For no sake.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, just... I'm happy it's picked up.

Smoking's illegal. She's done time, you know.

Confiscate that, thank you. Filthy habit.

Oh, I thought it was me robot!

It was your fault I was in court last time.

Last? What, do you get nicked a lot?

Once. Drugs. Wacky baccy wasn't it, Dot?

Oh, Billy, how could you? That was just a misunderstanding!

Just... Just try and stay legal.

I saw you last night.

I'm not blind and I'm not stupid. And I don't care who you snog!

Look, I don't know what you think you saw... Secrets - they don't work.

Not in this family. And Whitney, she's a decent girl.

Don't go dragging her into your lies. Ain't lying.

Why don't you just tell them that you prefer boys?

I don't! Johnny, it will be OK.

Johnny? What's wrong?

What's going on? I'm OK, Mum.

Linda, Johnny. We've got a party to run.

Mick, there's... Whatever it is, I can't deal with it.

Not today.

Nancy?

How am I going to tell Linda that tomorrow, our little girl

is getting married to a man we hate?

Paris?!

Ronnie, look, I'm sorry about James. I really am.

I didn't get your message in time. Roxy, wait.

Look, Carl is dangerous!

Ronnie, I love you.

OK? But please, please, let me take this chance.

Let me take this chance to be happy.

What about us? What about our holiday in Ibiza?

Just stop it! Just stop controlling me!

Ron, look, I need a break from my life.

OK?

I need a break from us.

# Is this the way to Amarillo?

# Every night, I'm hugging my pillow... #

Look at her. Making a fool of herself.

# And sweet Marie who waits for me... #

Gorgeous, ain't he, my man? Still gives me fireworks.

Yeah, well, keep hold of him, darling, cos all the men round here are like a damp squib.

Present company excepted, yeah?

Aw, she is gorgeous. Why do women like that date nutters?

That Carl comes in here, you tell me, yeah?

Why have him when she could have me?

# Sha-la-la, la-la, la, la, la... #

Who's smoking?

She is!

You reprobate, Dot!

That's it. I've had enough. What?

All innocent, but underneath it's all Oceans Elevenses, ain't it?

I know your sort. Sort? I've never been so insulted!

Give me that back - it's me electronic.

No, it's a real one. You should stop smoking. It's a filthy habit. Go on. Out.

Out? You whippersnapper!

I've been coming here since before you was born...

You're drunk. I am not drunk! You're legless.

Listen, take her home. Take her home, bless her. Take her home.

We'll go back to hers - she's got some sherry.

You will not have one drop of my sherry, Mo Slater.

'Arris.

Come on, the pair of you. Come on, girls.

Mr Carter...?

Hey. You got a minute?

Several. Ah....

You're not drunk as well, are you?

Tipsy. You know how I like to spend my New Year...

Well, we've got a bar full of punters

and I can barely raise a smile after last night's drinking. Aw!

Well, I'm going to put my Christmas present on...

Wonder what's happening over at the Vic.

It'll be quiet.

Dot'll have her sweet sherry, ask for her war tunes.

You can go if you want. What you talking about? Shut up! Leave you?

Nah, this is, like, the calm isn't it, before the crying,

and the broken nights, and the screaming,

and the demands for a bottle...

It's going to be months before this one's here!

I was actually talking about Mo!

You think it'll fit? I meant to do the 5:2...

Oh, yeah, it'll fit, baby.

And what do I get?

Ian promising me he's going to spend one more minute with me.

And you? You get him?

Know what your New Year's resolution should be?

To tell him to go and take a hike.

Into his man cave!

Max! See? He is terrible, you know.

Listen, Pete, what you saying? Shall we just leave, then?

I'm thinking I've made the biggest mistake of my life.

Phil. You've got to help me get Carl away from Roxy.

Why do I have to fight her battles?

I sold this gaff to spite her last boyfriend -

I ain't getting involved in this one.

She's got a problem, you sort it out.

Fine.

Heard your family bought this place. Put them back.

Oh, Shirley. I hate it when we argue.

What one is he?

CARL: I've bought some champagne. Mick!

Happy New Year.

No, no, no, sorry.

Have some class.

Got a light? Yeah.

Here you go. You ain't welcome here.

Says who? Me.

This your backing band?

This is my family.

And what you did to my family, my sister, makes me angry.

So you're going to leave. I don't take orders, big man.

You do now.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Try. Please. Mick...

See you tomorrow. Sweet.

Right. Come on then, Walford. Let's have it!

One final offer.

Thinks he's some sort of gangster. He's a cardboard cut out.

Bless him. He's only little. He won't bother you now I'm here.

Thanks, Mick.

I'm sorry I weren't here last time.

You've had no-one, you've had no family.

Not since Hev, no. She would've been on that karaoke all night!

You're missing the party.

Did you ever play her our karaoke song? I made her do the dance.

Has this lot ever heard it? No.

You ask. What is our aim?

It is to make Shirley Carter smile. No, Mick, no.

We will fight this war... No, I ain't going to do it!

..with karaoke. No, I don't want to do it!

What do you want? I'm, er, wooing you. As ordered.

I'll get my own, then.

Ah! Masood! You'll have a drink with me, won't you?

Oh, no, I was just popping in to buy Carol a bottle of champagne...

Linda, a couple of glasses of your finest fizz, please.

I don't drink. I'll drink yours. Er, OK.

Lola. Lola, wait. What, Peter?

Go and celebrate with your mates! How can I celebrate without you?

Well, that was your choice, weren't it? Yeah, it was a stupid choice.

Please just let me explain.

What is it? I'm good enough for you now - is that it?

I know I don't deserve you to forgive me. No, you don't.

Please, if you just give me a minute?

Let me explain why I HAD to do it? Please?

Mick, I don't want to do it. Don't embarrass me!

Ladies and gentlemen, live at the Vic,

I give you Miss Shirley Carter! Go on girl, get up there!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh,

# Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh... #

Go on, Shirl, that's it, girl!

# Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh... #

I love this!

# In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight

# In the jungle, the mighty jungle... # Beautiful!

# The lion sleeps tonight... #

What is this? Bruv, no idea, but I'm not involved.

Go on, Shirl, that's it, girl!

Right, well, have fun...

Ain't you going to buy me a drink back? Er... Yes!

Phil. You seen Carl? No.

# In the village, the peaceful village, the lion sleeps tonight

MICK JOINS IN # In the village, the peaceful village, the lion sleeps... #

Forgive me?

Yo, yo, does that look like a "happy New Year's Eve,

"I just want to be friends" type of kiss right there, bro?

Nope.

Hey, Dex...

It's ?5,000.

To stay away from my sister.

RONNIE SCREAMS

It's not enough, Ronnie.

It's not enough.

# Don't fear, my darling, the lion sleeps tonight... #

THEY HOWL

I'm 45 next month.

Old.

A very attractive woman. Ian's a very lucky man.

Ian?

Denise? What's wrong?

Everything.

# In the village, the peaceful village

# The lion sleeps tonight... #

You want to be with her? Be with her.

I don't. You can't take your eyes off her.

It's three people singing about a lion, innit?

No. No, this is you showing your true colours.

I spent my life watching my dad go from woman to woman.

I'm not going from woman to woman. Me and Shirley, we've been over years!

Sharon, 20 years I've wanted to be with you, ever since that first day that I kissed you.

I want to wake up with you in the morning. I want to wake up with you every morning.

Why else would I ask you to move in, hey?

How do I know you're telling the truth?

Because if I didn't love you...

I wouldn't do this.

# Wimoweh, Wimoweh, Wimoweh... #

RONNIE SCREAMS

You think you're something special, Ronnie? Do you?

You think you're something special?

Let me tell you something. You, you are damaged goods, Veronica!

THEY STRUGGLE AND SHOUT

2013, you have 60 seconds left!

CHEERING

Sharon, start the New Year with me? Please?

Come back to my place? Please?

Yeah. Let's go.

Ain't fair, look. Everyone's copping off except me.

We going to bed or what? I thought you was...

You told her yet? I couldn't.

LINDA: A toast.

To family.

Most.

Oh! To Lee. To all our boys fighting overseas.

CHEERING

And, most importantly, to the Vic!

CHEERING

Ten! ALL: Nine...eight...

To us. Six...five...four...

To us. Three...two...one!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

To 2014!

Let's have it!

Well, look at us, Ronnie.

We're going to have our own little New Year's Eve together.

Just you and me.

SHE SCREAMS

SHE SOBS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!