06/01/2014 EastEnders

MAN SPEAKS ON TV

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

Dad, what are you doing up?

It's, like, half five.

Monkfish.

Monkfish? Yeah, monkfish. For the new menu.

There's a new menu?

Yeah. We need a new menu. Need to keep it fresh, different.

There's all these websites out there -

bloggers, reviews, where to eat in London,

we need to be on there somewhere.

I'm going to close the restaurant at lunchtime,

so I can concentrate on getting this menu up and running, OK?

Now, what do you think, monkfish or halibut?

Ah, turbot.

Yes, yes, turbot.

Herbert the Turbot.

It's all good. All good.

We don't have to tell her.

She'll be fine, but don't do sudden with your mum.

I have to pick my moment. DOOR OPENS

Morning, sweetheart... Stop stealing my dressing gown.

She won't want to know.

She's your mum, she loves you. I'll sort it.

Bobby, shift it!

Brass monkeys out there.

Oh, Pete, you got any kumquats?

No. Funnily enough, I don't. Right, I'm off.

No, no, no. No, you're going to take Bobby to school.

I've got to sort all these ingredients for the menu.

Last night we agreed that you were going to take Bobby to school

cos I'm busy at the B Well, I'm busy too.

What, looking for kumquats?

I've got bloggers to get into... And you've got a son

that needs taking to school. Look, I'm really sorry, I'm busy.

It's fine, I can take him. You sure? Yeah. Thanks, love.

Perks of being the boss.

Great, OK, I'm going to need texts.

I need to know what we want for food tonight, OK? OK.

See you later.

Something's not right.

Maybe he just needs to talk to someone.

It's not like we haven't all tried. Not all of us.

Come on, skiver, holiday's over.

How long till Kim's back? Don't ask.

Just call me when you get this, Carl...

Oh, Kirsty...

Oh, yeah, yeah, you'll get the rent ASAP.

No, no. Wait up.

Brilliant. Patrick's back, though, ain't he?

What's the betting he hasn't even sorted out the breakfast yet?

You know what? I sort that lot out at the house, I've got all this...

SHE GROANS I love being me.

Ian's helping out, though, right?

Ian...helping?

It's what couples do - support each other.

Just saying.

Thanks for the post.

You've done us both jam.

I want you to see what you can sort with some ready meals.

We need something coming out of that kitchen ASAP.

Like what? Linda.

Dad, it's fine...

I don't know, lasagnes, curries, easy stuff. But decent...

The boy don't eat jam, he never has...

It's time he started.

Do you want me to do you some fresh with peanut butter?

This ain't a B It's toast and jam or nothing.

What's going on, Bill? Listen, Bill, just give up, bro.

Don't you know she's from Lesbos?

Not the other night, she weren't.

You're lying? Am I? What, you and her?

HE LAUGHS

Well, you know what they say, Dex... nine times out of ten,

it's just cos they ain't met the right bloke, you know?

You got the decorators in? Eh?

Your time of the month, is it?

These? These are not for me, these are for Lola.

Yeah, course they are.

Bill, don't look so down, you're probably just PMT-ing.

Well, at least she didn't punch me, did she?

Do you want me to finish that?

Maybe you should come and sit down,

because there's some stuff we need to talk about.

About time.

Eh? I heard you. I heard everything,

and no, I don't want to talk about it

because I know my kids and he is not...

He's not like that.

Just give her time.

Tina. Tina, I was thinking

maybe me and you could go for a drink?

You want to buy me a drink, that's fine by me.

See, I knew it.

No, as a mate. We've done all this the other night.

It was a mistake.

Don't waste your energy on me, you're a decent bloke.

Yeah. Lonely loser, more like.

Cut it out with all the self-pity. You ain't no loser.

Shirl's told me loads about what you've done for Lola and Lexi.

You deserve someone, it's just not me.

See you around.

Peter, how could you forget to pick up the carrots?

I forgot, I'm sorry. They're our bestseller. What's going to happen?

A punter comes, wants to buy some, we haven't got any -

We lose customers.

Are you happy to have your granddaughter

mix with that lot, are you?

Peter, you need to keep on top of things. Ian...

I got distracted, all right? I'm sorry.

Look, it's just some carrots.

I run successful businesses, OK?

I keep on top of things. It matters.

It should matter to you. Well, does it?

Yeah, course it does.

Look, Peter knows he's messed up.

Look, I haven't got the time to check you know how to run the stall.

Look, come on, let's leave him to it. He can sort it.

Come on, let's go. Come on.

She's seen us. Yeah, I know. Don't make eye contact.

Dad, shouldn't you say something?

Not yet.

How the hell am I supposed to find stuff?

Well, I did tell you to label the boxes, didn't I?

Do you want to come with me, sort stuff for the pub food?

She will come round, it's just the shock.

And I know who to thank for that.

So the whole thing with the jam...

that's your way of dealing with it, is it?

Making a point of treating the boy different?

I should have told you straight away but it's still our Johnny,

what is your problem? I haven't got one.

Ah! What are you doing?

You said you were tidying up this morning.

I will. I can't believe you.

It's 11 o'clock and some of us have already done a day's work.

11? Oh...

Where are you going? I'm late.

Oh, another bout of doing nothing?

For a job interview. Sorry.

Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.

No, cos it ain't working with you.

Your son is gay, he hasn't got a cold or anything.

You do know that's a pretty permanent thing? There's no cream for it.

No wonder he found it difficult to talk to you,

cos when I spoke to him, he was pretty desperate.

What do you mean, when you spoke to him?

The boy needed support.

I told you - when it comes to my kids,

wind that scraggy neck of yours in.

Oh, do me a favour. You keep out of their lives.

Oh, behave yourself. Your own son was too scared

to tell you that he was gay.

Ah, look...

the perfect caring mother.

Right, let's get the drawbridge down and let the hordes in.

What have you said to her?

Nothing...

..that hasn't been said before.

So was it in the face?

So could we do, say, 20 of these and the same with the curries?

Like a proper punch?

It was hardly a punch, I just...

Can we do the food?

You'll have to deal with my dad, I'm just covering for an hour.

All right, but we could sort something? Don't see why not.

Well, I'll get my dad to speak to your dad.

OK. Nice to meet you. You too.

He was all over the place, he had a right go at me.

Do you want to go and find him?

No, it's fine. He's with Sharon.

He's got himself all worked up about the menu and about...

Look, it doesn't matter, does it?

Oi, stop stressing about this.

It does matter. He is your dad, all right?

Go and make sure he's all right

and let me concentrate on getting us our own place.

I'm thinking something with a bit of crunch in it.

I was thinking beans. French beans? What do you think, Sharon? Ian, stop.

Right, beans it is, then. Turbot, celeriac, peas. Beans.

Beans, it's all good, Ian. But you've got to slow down.

What, and do what? Let things get on top of me? I can't do that, Sharon.

I've got to get these menus right for the bloggers, OK?

Maybe there's nothing wrong with the menu, Ian.

Maybe there's other stuff that needs sorting.

Setting up in your own place, it's tough, you know.

Yeah, we know that, Pops.

That's why we're going to go private first.

You serious? There's no way he can afford that.

Well, I'm not going to let Lola and Lexi go without, am I?

I'll do whatever it takes. I'll get night shifts, extra work.

I mean, there's work out there, you've just got to find it.

Oh, come on, Pops, I was going to tell you when we found a place.

I wasn't going to just leave you, I wouldn't do that to you.

I just don't see why you've got to move out.

Because we want to be together.

Why doesn't Peter move in with us, then?

There you go, winkle. Ta, mate. Keep that.

Thank you very much.

Don't worry, I'm not here for you. I'm not interested, all right?

I'm avoiding Lucy. Whatever.

I said you'd speak to her dad. I want her out.

Hold on a minute, sweetheart. What do you mean, out?

The food was really good.

I don't want you working here, you're sacked.

SHIRLEY: What? Is she the boss now? I run this place.

I decide who does and doesn't get to work here.

Can we take this upstairs, please?

I want her out of my pub.

Your pub? You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me.

Do we have to do this... Please, Mum....

Don't you ever tell me how to behave in my pub.

It's our pub, it's the family's.

Yeah, exactly, our family, that's me, you and the kids -

it don't include old Bagpuss here.

Listen to it, kicking off.

Just because she just found out that her precious little boy is gay?

And it's no wonder, is it? With a mother like you.

I shouldn't have shouted at Peter like that. He'll be fine.

I'm having a go at him over Lola,

and then I'm shouting at him over carrots. It's a difficult time...

Yeah. Made worse by Phil.

Oh, that's not fair.

You can't blame him if you let stuff build up rather than deal with it.

He's the one who's laying down the law, shouting the odds.

He's being protective. Protective?

Ian, come on, you know what he's like.

If the two of you just talked, then...

Yeah, right, like that's going to happen.

I'm shouting at Peter, Cindy's due back,

and me and Denise, we're all over the place... You can't pin that on Phil.

I just want...

I just want everything to be quiet.

Everyone just to shut up. Just for two minutes.

I just want some quiet, that's all.

Oh, sorry... You looking for Carl?

Yeah, could I just... No, love, he's not here. I've moved in now.

What? He's gone? Well, if he ain't,

he's playing a very good game of hide and seek up there.

Where, where's he gone? I dunno.

I heard he done a runner and I got lucky with the flat.

And if you do see him,

tell him he's got an unpaid electric bill, will you?

Oi!

You ain't got a bowl of sugar for a new neighbour?

You've moved in here? Or some coffee?

We could do that advert where I keep popping round.

Why would you do this? Why have you moved into the Square?

Because of you.

I want to be close to you. I've done this for you and the kids.

Well, I suggest get your deposit back, Terry, cos I'm not interested.

Oi, stop pushing in. Vodka, please.

With?

Another vodka.

What's wrong? Bad news?

Yeah, something like that.

You going to stop giving me evils or what?

Nothing like a public outing to make a bloke feel good about himself.

You done with that?

Mum... Yes, handsome, what can I get you?

You know, I love this pub.

That's lucky, innit? I really do.

You only have to walk in here and there's a familiar face.

Listen. Stop.

I love the Square. It's my home.

Seriously, if you don't stop sulking I will punch you again.

Yeah? That's on me.

What are you doing?

I want to see you.

What's the matter? Mum.

She'll get over it.

Yeah, she was just bursting to hug me.

What, and that's what you was expecting?

Gordon Bennett, boy,

you want to cut those apron strings before they strangle you.

We agreed, you don't come in the pub.

I ain't playing stupid games any more.

My dad sees you, he will lose his nut.

I can handle him. Of course you can.

We can't sneak about like this for ever. I know.

We've just got to be a bit clever about it. I ain't going nowhere.

Shut up. I mean it. If I can't come up there, then I'm staying out here.

What? The B over there.

Don't be stupid.

I've had you snatched away from me once,

I ain't letting that happen again.

I'm staying put and if your old man don't like it, he can stick it.

There you go, babe. Cheers. Stick it down there.

I was going to ask her to marry me.

Wow. Yeah, I bought a ring and everything.

A new one, not one of the ones I've had thrown back at me in the past.

We've done pretty well between us.

I think the only people we haven't married is each other. Funny, that.

You were never my type.

Oh! You fancied me rotten when we were spotty teenagers.

No, that wasn't me.

Really? Yeah.

We went out together, don't forget, all those little poems...

Look, I was a teenager, I fancied everyone.

So you said "Was." "Was going to ask her."

Yeah.

At Christmas, it was going to be a surprise.

She was, uh...

talking to Patrick and he told her.

Told her what?

Told her I was going to ask, so I backed off. Why?

If she knew I was going to ask, it wouldn't be a surprise,

I wouldn't know if her response was genuine.

She'd only say yes if she wanted to. I wouldn't know if she meant it.

Oh, Ian... Sharon, all right, I'm not stupid, OK?

I know I'm not some fantastic catch,

but...I'm a good man, I am.

Yeah, course you are.

Well, has she said anything

about knowing what you were going to do, hinted at it?

I mean, to be honest, you and Denise,

I don't think anyone saw that coming. I certainly didn't.

Yeah, I know. But it works. It works? Yeah.

This is someone you were going to ask to marry you, not a new car.

Well, do you love her?

So, she knows you were going to ask her to marry you

and she's said nothing?

You need to confront it, not mope around feeling sorry for yourself.

Oh, thanks, you're supposed to be my mate. I am your mate.

So why are you telling me to go round there and chase her off?

Ian, that is not what I mean.

Why do you always have to turn things around,

think everyone's against you?

No wonder you got ill.

Ian...Ian, I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean that.

Mick, I need those shifts back.

Shouting your mouth off was hardly the brightest idea.

Oh, come on, she's got a rod so far up her bum

she could be a ride on the merry-go-round.

It's a lot for her to deal with.

Throwing your toys out of the pram, that's dealing with it, is it?

I just don't need you gobbing off, it's not helping.

There you are.

Oh, big, successful brother in the building.

I thought I might find you here.

Brother, brother. My big brother.

You know, getting drunk, that's not the way.

Judge not lest ye be judged...

Look, it doesn't matter. It was just an interview.

It's no big deal, there'll be others. No, there won't.

There won't. Don't be daft, of course there will.

No. Not for a while.

Why? Why wouldn't there be?

Something bad's happened.

Something really...bad.

What?

I was offered the job, the best job I've ever been offered.

That's great news, isn't it?

It's in Birmingham.

Pete, give us one of them. Cheers.

Oi. You all right?

Guess what? Pops is going to treat us to a takeaway tonight...

Are you sure he's all right about this,

he's not just doing it cos he don't want to lose you?

Yeah, maybe, but that's what families do, they help each other out.

Yeah, not all family does, though.

Well, let's tell him, yeah? Phil, come here.

I want to tell you something. Tell me what?

We want you to know that me and Peter are back together again.

And here's some more news.

We're going to be together properly, cos Pops asked Peter to move in.

Didn't you, Pops?

Ian, I was only trying to help. You think it's easy being me?

I'm 44 and I'm scared of having my head shoved down the bog

by the bloke you reckon you love. Ian, please...

To top it all, I'm running around in circles scared

I'm going to have another breakdown. Of course you're not. Who knows?

What I do know is Denise might not be that mad on me,

she might not be the love of my life,

but she's the one stable thing that I've got in my life.

So I'm going to cling on to it.

Phil, will you just listen to me?

You should be putting a stop to it.

She's family. Yeah, and Lexi's my family, ain't she?

Oh, and you think this loser can provide for you, do you?

Yeah, I can. He is not a loser.

Oh, do me a favour. You know what?

I don't even know why I'm even bothering with you

because this is sorted, OK? Right, Pops?

I'm not having my granddaughter brought up by a Beale.

She's my granddaughter, she's my life

and what was it you always tell me, Phil, eh?

You never turn your back on your family.

He is not...NOT moving in.

Yeah, they look nice.

Cute on her, wouldn't it?

Wish I could wear...

I told you, I'm not interested. You got any towels?

Towels? Towels, yeah.

Do I look like I sell towels?

So you don't do towels? Are you having a laugh?

You've got no towels? Are you for real?

No, I don't do towels. No. I do not sell towels.

Fair enough.

We've got towels.

Is that it? Is that you trying to win me round?

Asking for towels?

What are you playing at?

The long game, son, the LONG game.

Hello?

Ah, just the lady. I was hoping I was going to catch you.

Oh, yeah, the rent. Yeah, I'm good for it.

No, no, no. This came for you.

Not a late Christmas card, I take it?

Divorce papers.

Ah...

Marriage - till death us do part.

Or at least until the post turns up.

TEXT MESSAGE ALERT SOUNDS

We've had a good few punters for a Monday lunchtime.

We'd have had more if we had some grub to serve them.

Yeah, well, I think Nancy, she's got some good ideas on that.

I know it's a shock.

A shock?

It's not a shock.

But, you know, all this... That's the whole point...

I knew.

This...

it's all because of me.

What?

Don't be stupid. He nearly died.

I've never known pain like that...

..seeing his little body...

..just still.

Just so still... I know. I know, darling, I know.

And then he came back. Screaming.

And that's when I knew, I knew I'd never let anything happen to him.

I'd keep him so close, I wouldn't let anything hurt him.

And nothing has.

He's still our little boy.

Him being gay, it doesn't matter.

No, you don't get it.

I've protected him his whole life, but men...

..they'll hurt him. Linda...

He's sensitive, he's too accepting, you know,

men will just take advantage of him.

Nancy, right, she comes out fighting,

like with Wayne and the others because I taught her that, you know,

I taught her not to take any rubbish.

But Johnny...

..I don't want him getting hurt.

Well, you're the only one hurting him.

No.

Don't do this.

He needs us.

No. I don't want a...

a son like that.

I don't have a son like that.

Denise...will you...?

Denise...should we...?

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES Ian.

Jane?