05/07/2011 River City

-Angel Tots. It's one of the best nurseries in Glasgow.

-He's not going.

And that's for Joanne.

-Eileen!

-What?

-Eileen!

-Oh! Out the road! Get the doors!

-The nursery phoned me.

-The thing is...

And don't even think about making something up.

I think my friend's being set up by fraudsters.

Any money it was her that phoned the police.

Bob, that is ridiculous.

Well, it makes sense economically.

I can earn more money working part time than nursery costs.

I said no.

You're not even listening to me.

I'm listening. Just not agreeing.

And, there's nothing to discuss.

Why not? You haven't given me a single good reason.

This is the 21st century. Everybody uses them.

They liberate us

and the social and educational benefits for him are enormous.

Morning.

Look, Eileen, I don't want to fall out with you about this.

We made a right mess of things last time round, agreed?

Agreed, but we were young and inexperienced.

So we want to get things as right as possible this time round. Agreed?

Agreed. So we use all the advantages we didn't have back then.

Stuart stays with us, not strangers, OK?

I've not got time for this. I've got to get things ready for Kate.

Who is Kate?

The potential investor.

-For my family dining area.

-The what?

Have you seen the state of the bathroom?

What was Christina doing in there?

Acting out Moby Dick?

The floor's drookit.

-Morning.

-Any milk?

Sorry, Christina had the last of it in her cornflakes.

There's no milk left for my tea.

-Go and get some.

-Sorry, no time, I'm going to a talk at the library.

You should have thought of that before you tanned the milk.

And you will not leave this house

before you have washed up your breakfast things.

This is not a hotel.

That's why the room service is so rubbish.

And while we're at it, that is not your personal bathroom.

OK, maybe I should move out.

-Maybe you should.

-Right ladies, that's enough.

I'll go for the milk,

and Christina will tidy the bathroom when she gets home, all right?

Good.

See you later.

Thanks Granddad.

You sure you don't mind taking him to nursery?

Course not, pet.

C'mon, we'll take you to nursery wee man, eh?

-Bye!

-Bye, be good!

-You OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

Liar.

I applied for a job managing a health spa,

I got down to the last three, but...

-Knock back?

-Yep.

Scunner.

-Anywhere nice?

-Portugal.

That's the third knock back this week.

Not fair, eh?

Thanks. That really helps.

Just trying to cheer you up.

See ya later.

Last minute supplies for the big meeting.

Do you need note pads?

I've got some at the surgery, thanks.

What kind of people are going to be coming to this drop-in centre?

Oh, a real mixture. Young people, professionals.

Maybe you'll get some passing trade.

Aye. I suppose even junkies have to eat.

I prefer "recovering addicts".

Well, I prefer paying customers, but, hey.

Hope it goes well.

Thanks.

There we are. I had to take a loaf as well.

From Russia with Love is eating me out of house and home.

-Tatiana's back?

-No, her daughter, my lodger.

-Problems?

-Don't get me started.

She thinks I'm running a hotel.

I've had enough. I'm too old for playing happy families.

But will she not be moving in with her mother when she gets back from the Ukraine?

I'll believe it when I see it.

So Tatiana's not due back soon?

I wouldn't know.

Nobody tells me nothing.

-Thanks, hen. Cheery bye.

-Cheery.

What d'you mean I didn't tell you?

I did tell you. You just obviously weren't listening.

Well, tell me. You've got two minutes.

What happens after two minutes? You stop listening?

What proposal?

Proposal for the boatyard/beer garden conversion.

My plan for a family eating area?

An extension to the Tall Ship with historic boats all converted

so wee kids can play in them and all that?

-A place where families could bring their very own wee Stuart.

-Stuart!

You forget something?

Thanks, Charlie.

Oh, darlin'. Will you be a good boy for Daddy today?

No, be a good boy for Mummy today.

Cos Daddy's got the nice investor to deal with.

And Mummy's got the drop-in centre to open.

Eileen, this could be a big deal for us!

For you, me, the family.

I have to make a good impression.

And I have to get on a stage and make a speech.

Never heard of doing two things at once Raymond?

It's what women have been doing all their lives but men have yet to get the hang of it.

Fine, you stick with your bow and arrow, I'll be Superwoman again.

That's not fair, Eileen. How can I show Kate around properly when I've got wee Stuart to look after?

What was it you said? "We make it work, we compromise."

That obviously only applies to me. Fine. I'll take Stuart to nursery.

Over my dead body.

We'll make it work. Not a problem.

Morning folks.

-All set for the big day?

-Yeah, just got a few points to finesse with you.

Do we know what bigwigs are coming?

No, but I think we'll get a good turn out,

both bigwigs and recovering addicts.

You going to join us Raymond?

Can't myself. I've got quite a busy day.

-I'm meeting...

-Anyway, we need to go and start setting up.

I'm sure you'll make it work.

I'm sure I will.

So, how's your mum?

Still in the Ukraine?

Yeah, still there.

Everything going all right with the divorce and all that?

Yes.

Is your father taking it all right?

I mean, must be difficult for him, eh?

No. They've been separated for ages.

Really? So he's got somebody else in his life?

Don't know, don't care.

You must be missing your mum though, she's been away a while.

Is she due back soon?

You would know better than me.

-Sorry?

-Because you seem to take an awful close interest in my family.

Any friend of Bob's, is a friend of mine.

Look, we both know it was you that phoned the police

and accused my mother of extortion.

But if you don't keep your nose out of my family's business,

I'll make sure everyone knows how conniving you are.

So where's this extension going to be? The beer garden?

Yeah, plus the 25 square metre area of the boatyard

that we'd buy up.

So there'd be a sheltered dining area,

based on the interior of an original tall ships,

and we'd have an outdoor eating area, and a converted boat

to be used as a kids play area.

Sounds cool. Well, if there's anything I can do to help.

-How are you with babies?

-Eh, I'm working.

It's all right, listen, she won't be here for another half hour or so.

So if you could just be on hand.

Sure thing.

I forgot, the heavy's off, I'll go and change the barrel.

So, what's the score around here? Invisible barmaids or what?

Self service?

Or sit tight till you die of thirst?

What can I get you?

I'll have a ginger beer, please.

-Ginger beer?

-Aye.

Got a big event later. Need to keep my wits about me, you know?

Is that right?

You'll need to give me two ticks, I'll be back in a minute.

All right, Raymond?

Jimmy, the very man,

d'you think you could watch wee Stuart for two minutes?

Sorry, mate, bad timing.

-Need to see a man about a job.

-Murdoch?

You sure about this?

Not got much choice in the matter.

See you later.

All right, Stuarty. Ginger beer.

If you're looking for a bar job you've come to the right place.

I think they might be short staffed.

Hey, it's not to be sneezed at.

Jobs are hard to come by.

I'll bet you'd make a cracking barmaid, eh?

Aye! With a smile like that! Brighten everybody's day!

Oh, Kate Carter, I presume?

That's me. Sorry, I'm a wee bit early. You must be Raymond Henderson, proprietor?

Aye, and I must be the invisible man.

Sorry, pal. Here you go. On the house.

No, no favours. I'm just a customer. Keep the change.

You can't win them all. Although we do try.

Would you like to take a seat and I'll be right over?

-Tea? Coffee?

-Tea would be lovely, thanks. I'm looking forward to hearing your proposal.

Great. Right, I'll just get organised and be right with you.

-Bob, I now know for definite who it was that phoned the police about mum.

-Who?

-Iona.

-We've been over this before, Iona wouldn't do anything like that.

-Yes, she would!

-No Christina, that's not true.

-No-one else in Shieldinch takes this inordinate interest in my mum.

She's a friend. Friends ask after you.

Yes, if you call the Spanish Inquisition "asking after you".

I know you don't get on with Iona, but she would never do anything as mean as this.

Really? Well, why don't you ask her? Look her in the eye and ask her.

I get off in half an hour.

If it's going to put an end to this nonsense, then, aye, I'll go and ask her.

Thank you.

Thanks for getting the milk.

-Oh, sorry, Mum, I forgot.

-And while we're on the subject, I want you to talk to little madam.

-"Madam"?

-Aye, her nibs.

It's just plain inconsiderate.

I mean, I'm the pensioner here.

The one thing I look forward to is my first cup of tea in the morning.

-I'm sorry, Mum.

-You finish the milk, you replace it. Simple.

She had to go to the library.

Well, she didn't. She was outside gabbin' with her pal.

-Come on, Mum!

-The bathroom looked as if a hurricane had hit it.

She maybe gets away with that kind of thing in Russia.

But not in my house. So I've decided on some ground rules.

She's not been in Russia since she was six! How many times?

Madam will wash the dishes every night,

and clean the bathroom every weekend.

-Right?

-Well...

-You tell her.

Because she is your responsibility.

Either that or you find her a new hotel.

Single, please.

From a business point of view,

I think we'd do really well, and we are in a great position to expand.

There's no question, it's a strong proposal.

I think the boat-themed area could be a real crowd pleaser.

Great. I'm really glad to hear you say that.

-Are you confident there would be enough family trade?

-Absolutely.

There's nowhere else in this area that caters for family dining.

He's a lovely boy.

Strictly speaking I shouldn't have him in the pub,

but I had childcare issues this morning, you know?

Tell me about it. Been there.

-You got kids?

-Two girls, 9 and 11.

Oh, right!

Great, we'll just get the tea out the road and get down to business.

-Tea? I thought you wanted coffee?

-No.

OK. I'll just get rid of these and get you some tea.

Six across. Six letters, a fruit, right?

B, blank, N, blank, blank, A.

-Any takers?

-Banana?

You must be the brains about here.

Aye that's an interesting idea that, pub/nursery, could catch on.

Just a shame the service is a bit slow.

Right, I know your type pal, and I don't want any trouble.

So why don't you just take yourself up to the bar,

let my barman get you a drink, and pipe down?

You're all right, wee man. I know when I'm not wanted.

-Sorry about that.

-Don't worry.

We've all come across that type.

Thoroughly obnoxious.

Why don't I take you out to the beer garden site and explain how it's all going to look?

Good idea. Let's hope the locals are a wee bit friendlier.

Oh, they are, that joker's not a local.

There's rarely any trouble around here, it's a good, family based community.

Right. Pop him in his pram, and we're off.

I've been running after those bun-eaters for over an hour and this is all I get? 50 rotten pence.

To think I actually left Australia to live in this dump.

-So go back to Australia then.

-There's just the small problem of money.

I had this ridiculous idea I might actually make something here, you know, in tips.

Maybe if you didn't look so fed up people would be more generous.

-That table needs cleared.

-I'm taking a break.

You're not due a break.

-So, if you don't mind.

-Clear it yourself.

-I asked you to do it.

-I don't know where you get off bossing me around.

This is my mother's cafe.

And your mother says that she'd need to x-ray you to see if there's a days work in you.

Ah, so this is where all the talent's hanging about these days.

Having a nice day, ladies?

Wonderful.

It's a good location. I can see the potential.

I'm thinking of using that as the play area

and also for childrens' parties,

-summer weddings, events, that kind of thing.

-I like it.

Prioritising the children.

-What about bad weather?

-I will have a sheltered area with an awning.

Look, why don't I meet you back inside?

I want to give you my undivided attention so I'm going to drop the wee one off at his auntie.

-I'll be back in a few minutes.

-I take it you've looked into planning permission?

I have, yes, and that will not be a problem.

So, I'll be right back. Oh, you better...

Yeah, sorry.

Haw!

Hi, Stella, is Gina around?

No, it's her day off. She's maybe up at the flat.

OK. Thanks.

30 pence? That's just insulting.

I'm surprised she gave you anything.

Why? I was perfectly nice.

No. She says she was on a diet and could you recommend anything

and you say, "stop eating"?

Poor woman was mortified.

It's probably the best bit of advice she's ever been given.

Face it, Jo, your brand of charm just doesn't pull in the tips.

And what, yours does?

-We're out of brown sugar, can you go to the deli and get some please?

-They can make do with white.

No, Gina said if we run out we've to get more in. So...

..can you go now while it's quiet?

I've had enough.

I'm the assistant manager and I'm telling you to go and get me a brown sugar. Now.

I don't like the look of them at all.

I'm not sure that I approve of this clinic or whatever it is

if it's going to attract such ne'er-do-wells.

-They're no' doing any harm.

-Yet!

My understanding was that it was to be a place of solace

for the likes of young Leo Brodie.

You open a drop-in place for drug addicts,

you're going to expect all sorts.

Hi. Sorry to interrupt.

Did you just say drug addicts?

Aye, over the road, there's a new place for recovering addicts or whatever they call it.

Junkies?

I'm all for helping folk,

as long as they don't dump their mess at my back door.

So there could be a lot of these recovering addicts floating about?

Nothing surer.

If this was my establishment

I'd be putting an extra lock on the back door.

You can't be too careful these days.

-That's true. Nice talking to you.

-And yourself, yeah. The usual.

-Hiya.

-I hate to ask, but could you look after Stuart for a wee bit?

Raymond, I'm just on my way out.

-I wouldn't normally do this but it's all in a good cause.

-Oh, what's that?

My proposal for the family area round the back of the Tall Ship.

I've got an investor in the pub now deciding whether she'll back it.

It's looking good.

I thought I could maybe juggle wee Stuart, but...

Bring him in.

The shopping can wait.

I only need another half hour.

If I can pull this off, it'll be a better life for all of us.

Enough. Hello my wee darlin'.

You're a star, Gina, I'm away to clinch the deal.

-You do that. Good luck.

-See ya!

I agree. OK. OK then.

Sorry about that.

Right. I'll give you a phone later on. OK. Bye.

How are you doing?

What did you think of the site?

I think your barman's under a bit of pressure.

-He can manage for five minutes. The site?

The site's good, and I can see how extending the existing premises would work, very well.

That is music to my ears.

Is it safe to say that I could make a preliminary bid for the 25 square metres?

You can certainly do that, but...

Ah, there's always a "but".

-This is a very big "but".

-Oh.

I am afraid we're not convinced the location is ideal for children.

What? It's sheltered, safe.

And a stone's throw away from a drop-in centre for drug addicts.

It may be that this would never be a problem, but to be honest we think it's a very big problem.

I don't want to bring my kids to an area where there could be used needles lying around, or...

Let's just say an unsavoury element.

But the centre's there to help addicts, to make the community safer.

I admire your confidence, but I'm afraid that's not a risk we are willing to take.

There must be a way we could make this work.

Mr Henderson, my investors need to be convinced that this

could be run as a successful, safe family establishment,

and to be honest, we're not.

I can see how today you might not have got the best of impressions,

but to be fair, the drop-in centre hasn't had a chance to settle in yet.

Would you be prepared to review the situation, maybe in a month or two?

I dare say you could maybe make another approach, but for now...

Look, let me pay for this tea.

That's on the house. I'm not going to give up on this, I believe...

My purse has gone!

Someone's stolen my purse!

Hey-ho! So, how's it going in the Oyster?

-Don't ask.

-Ach well, it keeps you off the streets.

Believe me, being on the streets would be better than being in that hellhole.

Come on, it's not like you're down a mine.

No, it's worse.

Stella's a right madam. "Get me this, get me that."

Treats me like I'm her personal slave. It's not funny!

Aye it is. You just don't like getting your wee hands dirty.

I'll get my hands dirty all day long, I just don't like that jumped up little dosser taking advantage.

That doesn't sound like Stella to me.

She's just loving lording it over me. Anyway, what do you know?

I know that Stella wouldn't lord it over anyone,

-and she's definitely not a dosser.

-Oh, great(!)

Here's me looking for a wee bit of sympathy and you take her side.

Who said anything about taking sides?

Anyway, you're the one behaving like a madam.

Oh, I don't need this.

-Move!

-Pavements are for walking on, not cycling, idiot!

-You all right?

-I think so. Thanks for...

My pleasure.

When did you last have your purse? Are you sure it was in your handbag?

Yes! I had it when I paid for the taxi that brought me to this place.

Well, it doesn't seem to be here.

Obviously not, because it's been stolen.

Not necessarily. Maybe you dropped it?

Oh, for goodness sake, of course it's been stolen.

And you don't need to be Einstein to figure out who stole it.

You're sure it was him?

And you're not? Let's go and ask him, shall we?

OK, I know you took my purse.

We don't have to involve the police, just give me it back,

we'll say no more about it.

And you know what? I think I've had enough offence for one day,

so if you'll excuse me I'm going to get a drink.

I'll give you one more chance, then I'm phoning the police.

You took my purse.

And you know this how? Eh? You saw me? Have you got witnesses?

I know you took it, you were right next to my handbag.

Right. And that should stand up in a court of law.

You come in to a nice neighbourhood with your scummy pals.

-My what?

-You heard.

You don't call my mates scummy you torn-faced piece of...

Hey, hey, cool it!

Watch it, lady, all right, or I'll be pressing charges against you.

But, hey, you go ahead, waste police time.

Real nice neighbourhood you got here(!)

-Haw, bananas! Can I get a drink?

-Two minutes.

All my credit cards were in that purse.

I really don't need this.

Don't panic. We can cancel your credit cards.

Come through the back, you can phone.

Thanks, but no thanks. And you can kiss goodbye to any thoughts you might have had of a review.

Sorry, but we won't be investing...

not in a million years.

-Here you go.

-Thanks.

-Better?

-Yeah.

So, what now? Back to the house of fun?

Sorry?

The Oyster? The place where you work?

Why don't I take you somewhere nice for lunch? You got plans?

I just think...

Gabriel, when I said lunch, I mean lunch. I'm not going to eat you.

-Said the spider to the fly.

-Ha-ha(!)

I'm not going to ask twice.

Pick me up in an hour?

You're on.

Be with you in a minute. Where have you been?

Sorry, Stella, I've had a bit of a scare. I was nearly run over.

-Run over?

-Yeah. Outside the deli.

I feel awful.

D'you want me to call a doctor or something?

It's OK. You don't have to pretend that you care,

but I think I'll go for a lie down.

I do care. Want me to phone your ma?

No, it's fine.

I'm going to go and have a lie down.

I'll grab my stuff and I'll come back later, once I feel better OK?

DOOR OPENS

-All right?

-Did you talk to her?

-Iona?

-Yeah!

-No.

-Aaw, Bob!

I can't just go barging in there accusing her.

-Why not?

-Because Iona's a pal.

She's the only one in Shieldinch with a motive.

Listen, Miss Marple,

I'll talk to her in my own time.

-Just leave it.

-She had this really sly look on her face, like she knew

I knew what she'd done but she thought she could get away with it.

Like she'll wrap you round her little finger.

Well, that's not going to happen, is it?

DOOR OPENS

-Did you speak to her?

-I'm just in the door.

-Cos I will if you don't.

-What?

-Just leave it, will you?

-No, no.

This is my house.

I'm used to my routines and my own wee home comforts.

Since you moved in everything's gone skee-whiff.

So I'm making some house rules,

and while you're under my roof you will obey them.

Number one, the lavvy.

Hello and welcome to the Shieldinch Addiction Services Project.

APPLAUSE

It's due in great part to Doctor Michael Brodie's unwavering

commitment to this project that we're all here today.

He's had my wholehearted support every step of the way.

I'm sure many of us here have been affected by, or know somebody who has battled with drugs.

We know that there are no easy answers,

but a project like this provides support

for both addicts and the families.

I'm going to pass you over now to Doctor Brodie who will

tell you more about the excellent work he's going to be doing here.

Thank you Councillor Donachie, and thank you all for being here today

to mark the launch of the Shieldinch Addiction Services.

This scheme has been almost six months in the making...

I thought Raymond was looking after him.

He was, then he asked me to take him for a wee while

because of that investor, but I need to go and work in the cafe, Jo's not well.

Right. I need one more favour.

I need to go and help Stella.

-I wouldn't ask but I'm in a real spot.

-What?

I need to go back in. This'll take you twenty minutes. Bear with me.

Hello, can I have a taxi for Hamilton, Shieldinch Community Centre.

Going to the Angel Tots Nursery, on Clarence Street.

Yeah. OK, thanks.

I've already registered Stuart, so there shouldn't be a problem.

-What about Raymond?

-What about him? This is his fault.

He needs to wake up, he's not Superman and I'm not Superwoman.

-And I'm not Superpeople's skivvy, I've got problems of my own.

-Please, Gina!

Just this once. I can't abandon these people.

They need me.

I didn't realise Molly was so mad at me.

She's not. She's just old. If we hadn't run out of milk this morning,

she'd have been perfectly happy.

-So, are you going to talk to Iona now?

-Now?

-Why not?

-I haven't thought of what I'm going to say to her.

Well, you can think about it on your way over to see her, can't you?

-Look...

-Please?

-Fine.

And don't let her wriggle out of this.

What's up, Bob?

-Och, it's nothing, just...

-Just what?

I'm just going to come out and say it, get it over with.

You and Christina were talking earlier.

Yes. She was a wee bit hysterical.

-Oh.

-Accused me of being the one that reported her mother

to the police, then ran out the door.

-Oh.

-I'll be honest with you, Bob,

I wasn't going to mention it, but I was really quite hurt.

-I can imagine.

-I mean, why would I do something like that?

To a pal!

-I just wouldn't.

-That's what I said. But she's got it into her head

that you know something about it.

Well, the poor lassie's obviously going through some female teenage angst kind of thing.

Female teenage angst?

Aye! You know the kind of thing.

The world is against her, nobody understands her, even her mother abandoned her.

Hmm.

At the time that phone call was made to the police, she wasn't really getting on with Tatiana, was she?

I suppose not.

Now, this might sound weird,

-but it wouldn't surprise me if it was Christina herself who phoned the police.

-Uch, Iona, don't be daft!

No, listen. She was angry with her mother for bringing her here.

Angry about the divorce. Probably blamed her mum for the break up.

-So she decides to teach her mother a lesson. Payback.

-I know she was angry, but...

And now she's feeling guilty about it.

And because we were once, you know, an item, I'm the obvious target.

Deflects the blame from her.

I might be wrong, but...

I can't think of anyone else in Shieldinch who would make that phone call.

Can you?

Gina? It's me, listen, you can bring wee Stuart back now, that's the panic over.

Well and truly over.

No, not so good, I'm afraid.

Anyway, where are you?

What d'you mean, he's not with you?

And you've left him there? What's the address?

No, no, it's fine, Gina.

OK, I'm just his dad.

Is it OK if I go now Raymond? My shift ended half an hour ago.

It's only just past lunchtime.

Split shifts. I'm back on at five.

And I'm going to be late for the dentist.

-Dentist?

-I told you last week.

-Off you go, son.

-Cheers.

Annie?

Look, it's Raymond. Where are you?

No, I need cover now.

Charlie can't stay.

OK, never mind.

Thanks anyway, bye.

Right, listen up, folks.

I'm really sorry, but, I'm going to have to close the bar.

It's an unavoidable situation, I'm afraid, so look if you'd like

to get ready to leave I'll provide a refund for any unfinished drinks.

-Give me two seconds.

-What's going on?

Can you stay for two more minutes to give people their money back?

OK.

Sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. There's your refund.

Mate, you really know how to make a guy feel welcome(!)

Like I said, unavoidable situation,

-so if you'd just like to make your way out.

-All right, all right.

-This place is a joke, man.

-Get out of my pub.

You want to watch that temper of yours, that could lose you customers.

-OUT!

-I'm going.

I've got a meeting to go to anyway. Bampot.

So let me get this right,

Iona accused me of reporting my own mum to the police?

-She thought maybe you were angry at Tattie, and it was some sort of teenage rebellion thing.

-A what?

A teenage rebellion.

-I told her it was daft, but I'd talk to you.

-And you believed this crap?

I'm just telling you what she said.

How could you think for a second that I would do anything so vile?

-That's despicable.

-Christina!

Come on, you're overreacting.

Just like Iona said you would.

What's going on here? I heard a door slam.

Ach, just a teenage tantrum.

Just let her stew for a wee while.

Right, you've heard from all of us, let's hear from you.

Does anyone have any questions?

Aye, how do the locals feel

about having recovering addicts in the area?

I've already experienced a fair bit of prejudice.

That's a good question.

-Eileen would you like to take this one?

-Yes.

I'm really sorry about that and let's hope that was a one-off incident.

No offence to the young man, but I do worry about having more drug addicts in the area.

Some of these people have criminal records.

I'm sure the majority of people know that having a place

where addicts can come for support, actually makes the community safer.

This is Shieldinch, where we reach out and support our community.

We are here for all of you.

Listen, madam, in this country it's normal for lassies at your age to help out with the housework.

So enough with the big huff.

Maybe you had a domestic servant in Russia,

but pensioners in this country can't afford such luxuries.

I'm struggling to make ends meet as it is.

Is this all because I asked her to do a few jobs?

In my day you'd get a skite on the lug for this malarkey.

-I'll handle this.

-What am I? The KGB?

-Christina, I'm putting on a cup of coffee. You wanting one?

-I want nothing from you ever again.

Come on, you're over reacting. I just told you what Iona said.

I thought this morning, wouldn't it be nice

if Tatiana came back and saw us all getting on like a house on fire.

And I know you didn't, but even if you did phone the police, I'd forgive you.

I just want us all to be happy, this is our home, your home.

This is not my home. I'm leaving.

Don't be daft, this is your home.

Come on, we'll go and have peace talks over an ice cream, at the Oyster? What do you say?

I'll get the order in. And we'll forget all about this.

I'll see you in there.

Teenage tantrum. I'll take care of it, no worries.

-That went really well.

-It did, didn't it?

Just need to make it work now. And keep the funding going.

Why don't I invite the bigwigs over to the Ship for some refreshment, and we can schmooze them a little?

Now that's why you're a politician and I'm a doctor.

-I'll round them up.

-Want me to nip over and warn Raymond?

-Nah, it's fine.

We've always got champagne on hand for emergencies.

I'm sorry about this, folks.

Not quite sure what's going on.

If you'd like to make your way round to the side entrance, I'll see if I can get us in.

Hey. I'm no' wanting that there. Shift it.

It's no' illegal.

-Where's Christina?

-She's gone. Packed her bag and took off.

I couldn't stop her.

I waited on her. I thought she was bluffing. I...

How can you be so stupid?

Here was me thinking the lassie was upset over a wee bit of housework.

Did she say where she was going?

No. She just sailed out the door twenty minutes ago.

-We'll never find her now.

-Aye, if it was up to you, we wouldn't.

I slipped her purse out of her bag.

She's not even got her tube fare.

-You stay here, I'll go and look for her.

-No, I'll...

You're not exactly on a roll, son.

You wait here, just in case she comes back.

Have you taken leave of your senses?

What the hell did you think you were playing at?

-I could say the same thing to you.

-You closed the pub!

You put Stuart in a nursery!

-I had every right!

-Not without consulting me.

Not content with sending Gina over with Stuart

in the middle of my speech, you then close the pub.

So I bring a delegation over here for drinks, we can't get in!

Do you know how stupid that made me look? I was mortified.

Do you want to hear about my day?

No, no I do not want to hear about your day.

Raymond, Raymond! Sit down, we need to talk!

Can I have a word?

-You.

-Aye, it's me, I just crawled back out my slime bucket.

-What do you want?

-Somebody slashed my tyres.

My heart bleeds.

So who do you know in this nice, respectable community would do a thing like that?

-No idea.

-No? Well, I can think of one person.

-Not guilty.

-Look, mate, you've had it in for me all day.

-You think I stole that stuck up wee cow's purse.

-Just back off, son.

So, hey, why not slash my tyres? Serves me right, eh?

Look, I never touched your tyres.

Cos I respect other people property. But you? I don't think so.

-You need help man, you're a mess.

-You just get out of here.

Why? What you going to do?

OK, guys?

Aye, I am.

I wouldn't take any chances on him.

He bothering you?

No, I'm fine, just need to unwind a wee bit.

Sure. You're the boss.

Oh, no!

It's not so funny when it happens to you, eh, pal?

Aye, in the great scheme of things, every nutter gets what's due.

What the hell's going on?

That maniac went for me.

Care to explain?

Let's get you over to the surgery.

Who's the boy anyway?

I don't know, but he's been dogging my footsteps all day.

-Maybe one of that mob from the new clinic.

-Could be.

I'll tell you this though, Jimmy, see when I smacked him,

it felt good. Really good.

That's the best I've felt all day.

Aye, for a split second,

then you're left with a sore hand.

Listen, Eileen thinks I'm a waste of space.

My big plans to expand the pub, well they've been knocked back.

So its game over, kaput.

So see if that wee lowlife came back,

I'd do it again.

One punch and suddenly you're Rocky Marciano? Don't be daft.

Throwing it all away because some wee wide-o's trying to noise you up.

You've got loads of good things in your life.

A new baby, Eileen, the pub.

One silly mistake and it's gone.

I should know.

-I just wondered if Christina had surfaced yet.

-No.

Molly's away out looking for her.

Have you checked under the bed?

It's an old trick.

Get everyone out searching for you, thinking you're halfway to London,

and all the time you're under the bed.

She's not under the bed.

She'll turn up. She's just trying to give you a scare.

Aye, well it's working.

She's only fifteen years old.

Why don't you come round to mine for a drink, I bet by the time you get back here,

Christina will be home wanting fed and watered.

Iona, she's run away.

If I lose her I don't know what I'm going to do.

Finally.

-Go away.

-Charming.

I've been traipsing about for an hour looking for you.

And a pensioner's hour is equal to three human hours.

-So work that one out.

-Well, I'm sorry you wasted your time.

And what's that supposed to mean?

I'm not coming back.

I don't want to live here any more.

Please yerself. What'll I say to Bob? He's frantic.

How can I live in a house where I'm not trusted?

How can Bob think that I would report my own mother to the police?

My own mother?

I love her.

Your missing your mammy, aren't you?

I haven't got a family here any more,

-I haven't got anyone.

-Yes, you do, Bob dotes on you.

Come on home and I'll make you something nice to eat.

Toasted cheese?

I don't live with you anymore.

I'm going to stay with my mum's friend in Dundee.

It's all been arranged.

I wish you'd give us...

I wish you'd give Bob a second chance.

I know he would miss you.

No he wouldn't.

He'd be absolutely heartbroken if you left.

I know he's a big tumphy but he's awfy fond of you.

Would you not just let him talk to you?

And if you still want to go, well, that's your decision.

And you know what,

I never thought I'd say this,

I want you to stay and all.

In fact we could always kick Bob out, have the place to ourselves, what d'you say?

I've just spent 20 minutes with the boy you punched, trying to persuade him not to press charges.

You've got no idea how much trouble that boy's caused.

And what about the trouble you've caused?

This was the opening day of a big new initiative for us.

A bit of tolerance wouldn't have gone amiss.

Maybe you should keep a tighter rein on your clients then.

That boy has noised everyone up.

He stole somebody's purse, he slashed my tyres.

Not bad for a first day.

It still doesn't justify hitting him.

I shouldn't have done that. But the kid really overstepped the mark.

The boy is 19. A recovering addict, but there's hope for him.

You are a responsible adult, you should've known better.

What's the kid's name? I'll go and apologise.

His name is Stevie Burns. He's downstairs.

And yes, apologising would be a good idea.

OK. I'll do that. Thanks.

OK.

And are you all right?

I'm fine.

Just had the day from hell.

And Michael...

Let's keep this quiet?

I'd rather Eileen didn't know.

Yeah, sure.

I think I'll go and check on Jo, see if she's hungry. She's had a good long sleep.

I could swear I saw Jo in a taxi with Gabriel earlier on.

Really?

When?

About lunchtime. I could be wrong.

She better not have. I'll kill her.

Right, I'm away to check anyway.

Hey, Jo, how are you doing?

My neck was hurting after that loony nearly ran me over so I thought I better go to hospital.

You should've said? I could have taken you.

I know, I looked in, and you were run off your feet.

So Gabriel offered to take me.

So what did the hospital say?

I'm fine. Just a bit of whiplash. I have to take it easy.

Go and lie down and I'll bring you up something to eat.

Mum, I was going to buy Gabriel a drink to say thanks.

Well, yeah, if you think you're up to it.

Yeah, I think a brandy might be do me some good.

-Probably right.

-Thanks, Mum. See you later.

Bye, Stella.

What's going on here? I thought I told you to stay put?

I couldn't just sit up there doing nothing.

Christina.

I know you're angry with me, but I never thought for one second, that you reported Tattie to the police.

No? So why did you say you'd forgive me?

I just meant that I'd always forgive you everything.

You and Tattie are the most important people in my life.

Thing is...

someone here hates us, someone here has it in for me and my mum.

And until we find who it is, I don't want to live here any more.

-Christina!

-No! I hate this place.

-Happy now?

-Christina, wait!

-OK.

But only if you ask her if she phoned the police.

Quite right, hen. Ask her, Bob.

Iona, did you report Tatiana to the police?

Yes, it was me that phoned the police.

I genuinely thought there was something illegal going on.

I only wanted to help, but I was wrong.

I see that now. I shouldn't have.

You tried to blame me!

Tried to make out like I would do this to my own mum!

Leave it, hen, she's not worth it.

Come on, Bob, let's get this lassie home. See her!

if auld Nick was a wummin, that's what she'd look like!

That's the devil incarnate.

-D'you want to get another drink here or...

-Or?

Or we could go to Malcolm and Liz's.

They've gone to the pictures.

Hmmm, sounds like an offer I could refuse,

but seeing as there's nothing better going on, lead on.

OK.

Stevie? Mind if I join you?

Batter in.

Look, you and me didn't get off to the best of starts,

but that's no excuse for what I did.

I shouldn't have hit you,

and I'm sorry.

-You've got some right jab on you.

-Again. Sorry.

I don't make a habit of it.

Aye, not really a good move.

Especially in your profession.

Anyway, here's a little something that just might soften the blow.

How about we forget about all this, eh?

Sounds like a plan.

Are we quits?

You're all right, mate, I won't take it any further.

Good decision.

-Nae bother. And see next time?

-There won't be a next time.

Aye, but if there is,

just take a couple of valium, sort that temper right out.

Only kidding.

Dundee's a dump, you're better off here, hen.

-The Railway bridge in Dundee's quite impressive.

-Wheesht, you!

I'm trying to put her off Dundee.

Bright as a blackout you are.

Hey I'm as bright as the next guy, maybe just a wee bit naive.

Naive? Don't flatter yourself.

Iona was trying to fling a spanner in the works between you and Tattie, and you didn't spot it.

She obviously still has unresolved feelings for Bob.

Can't think why.

Well, hen, I know you can't tell by looking at him,

but at midnight

Bob turns into George Clooney.

Raymond, a word.

-I apologised to the boy.

-Aye, then you did something worse than punching him.

-Compensation. What's wrong with that?

-What's right with it?

The guy's an addict. You do not give drug addicts money. Ever.

It was just my way of saying thanks for not taking things any further.

Yeah, well a hundred quid will probably send him back down the road to hell.

I'm sorry.

This morning you were full of the joys, what went wrong?

Just about everything.

-I wanted to prove something.

-To who?

I don't know, myself, my family.

Just think yourself lucky you don't have to prove anything in a court of law.

You've been really lovely today.

I am most days.

No, sometimes you're really mean.

Me? Ha! That's like the oil tanker calling the kettle black.

-You're the Queen of mean.

-I am so not.

Aye you are,

maybe not the Queen.

-But you have your moments.

-Like how?

Like...

-it doesn't matter.

-Like how?

Like calling Stella a dosser.

-That was pretty mean.

-Mean, but true.

Anyway let's not talk about her.

Let's just not talk.

Suits me.

Gabe, why don't you have a place of your own?

-Why don't you?

-I'm asking you.

Can't afford it just now. But I've a few irons in the fire.

Watch this space.

-Isn't it a bit weird, living with Granddad and Liz.

-No, it's fine.

What, someone your age living with a couple of old codgers?

You're the one that's living with your mum and her boyfriend.

Meaning?

Meaning, weird.

I'll tell you what's weird.

-Being on this sofa with you being surrounded by photos of my mum, and Granddad.

-So what do you want to do?

-Want to go for a quick knee trembler in the boatyard?

-This was a bad idea.

Don't look so shocked, I thought that'd be right up your alley.

Yeah? Well, you're mistaken.

-More fool me for coming over here in the first place.

-Oh, come on!

A couple minutes more and you'd have been dragging me in the bedroom.

You really believe that. Don't you?!

Careful crossing the road!

Oh, you again?

-Not caused enough trouble for one day?

-Christina, I didn't mean to upset you.

So it was just an accident that you phoned the police?

-I understand that you're angry...

-No!

You understand nothing.

You've made a very big mistake.

I might just be a kid in your eyes,

but believe me, you'll regret you ever tangled with my family.

What's going on?

Absolutely nothing.

-Bob, I'm so sorry. I...

-Save it, Iona.

Nothing you can say can make up for what you did. Nothing, ever.

We're done. Goodbye.

Look, I made a right mess of today.

And I deserve everything that you're going to throw at me.

I was wrong about the nursery.

It makes total sense.

Thank you. I hear they knocked back your proposal for the family area.

Yeah. Oh, it was looking good for a while.

-Sorry, it was a great idea.

-Yeah, it was.

But it's not the end of the world.

It's still a great pub.

It is.

And you're a great landlord.

And you'll be an even better one when our lovely wee boy is in nursery.

Does this mean I'm not going to get a doing?

Not tonight, I'm too tired.

Maybe tomorrow.

But if you make me some tea and toast, you can have a full reprieve.

Oh, look who it is.

-Surprise!

-Welcome home!

Well, that went well(!)

This here is the new Shieldinch arcade.

£40,000, are you mad?

Leyla, I was trying to put him off.

Good afternoon, Amber cabs!

-You ready to put the subway out of business.

-Aye, something like that.

Telling him will break his heart. Have you thought about that?

I'm not going to help you lie to him.

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