19/07/2011 River City

I'm sorry, Lenny, I'm going into business with my brother.

Really?

-Charlie... Zinnie.

-Hiya, nice to meet you.

Nice to be met, Charlie. He's cute, I can see why you went for him.

Here's a little something that just might soften the blow.

Aw, come on, a few minutes more you'd have been dragging me in the bedroom.

You really believe that, don't you?

She's so old.

Compensation, what's wrong with that?

The guy's an addict, you do not give drug addicts money.

I'm dancing if you're asking.

Want one? It's for the arcade.

-Thanks, son.

-Excuse me...

All right, mate?

Oh, come on!

Where's she put it? Oh!

You all right?

Romeo's chocolate spread?

Thanks.

-Sleep well?

-Let's see.

30 years old, single parent, no job, no house, living with my mum.

Yeah...slept like a dream.

It's not that bad living here, is it?

Just...not how I thought my life would turn out.

-Mummy!

-Coming.

If you call the reception, we'll fix you up an appointment.

We can talk through the results.

Today if possible. Call me when you get this if you have any questions.

Thanks.

-Hey, don't finish them!

-Too late. You need to lose weight anyway.

You looked in the mirror lately?!

Excuse me, I was listening to that.

You can hear it in space.

-Was that meant to be amusing?

-If it was, it fell woefully short.

I wasn't talking to you.

Oh, please. Can we have some peace in the mornings?

If you want a lift to sports camp you need to come now. Where's Conor?

-Handing out leaflets.

-What? He'll be late.

-No, he won't.

-Where have you been?

-I was doing some work for Uncle Gabriel.

Did he pay you?

-Fiver.

-What?

-You had your chance.

-Is he still looking for someone?

-No! Keep that money somewhere safe.

-Gonna spend it in the arcade later.

No, you're not.

Gabe says these games are going to be well good.

Get your stuff together, we need to move.

I've not finished my breakfast yet.

Move!

So. Any plans for the day?

Nope.

No luck with the job hunting, then?

Doesn't look like it.

Yeah, well, you could make a bit more effort.

That food doesn't pay for itself, you know.

So, now I'm a sponger?

So much for being family!

You're very welcome here, you know that.

-But we all have to pull our weight.

-OK, OK... I get it!

So, if Gabriel's looking for new workers, maybe you could drop over there?

Me? Work in an arcade?

Just a thought.

-TELEVISION PLAYS

-That's you told.

It's got to be good for business though, eh? Attracting folk into the area.

Aye, but what kind of folk?

First the treatment centre, now this.

The whole area's turning into a ned-magnet.

Gabriel has assured me that he won't be standing for any nonsense.

But I can't help thinking that in the present climate, anything that encourages gambling is a bad idea.

Morning, campers.

-Can I interest you in a wee promotional leaflet?

-Och away you go, you think I'd be interested!

-Never say never, Liz.

-Raymond!

His master's voice. Good luck the day.

Thanks, mate. It's going to be a blast.

Any sign of trouble, I'll be straight on the phone to the council about your licence.

Relax, you won't even know we're here.

-Eileen!

-In here.

-Good of you to join me.

-I was just...

The dishwasher's bust again,

plus the bins need to go out, the guy from the brewery called, and Stuart's cutting another tooth.

Really? Is it poking through?

Leave him! I've just put him down and I've got a million things to do before he wakes up again.

Did you put an advert in for help?

We don't need anyone else, do we?

Raymond, if I don't get some sleep tonight, I'm going to fling myself in the Clyde.

We can't go on like this.

Original name.

Thanks. How's it going?

Fantastic. You?

Brilliant. We're opening later. You should pop by.

You know, I think I'd rather saw off my own leg with a rusty spoon.

(Watch you don't poison the spoon.)

-There you go, darlin'.

-Thanks.

Espresso. Make it a double.

-Right away(!)

-Hey, Leo.

-This seat free?

-Erm...yeah.

-So you up to much?

-No, not really.

-What's the nightlife like around here?

-It's all right.

In Edinburgh, I was out every night of the week.

-Really?

-Under this studious exterior I'm actually a real party animal.

I bet you are too when you get going.

I guess I've had my moments.

So prove it. Take me out some time,

show me the hot-spots.

Sorry, he's all booked up.

-Where'd you come from?

-I just can't keep away.

Understandable.

There you go.

-Mum, did Romeo leave Nala in here?

-I've no idea, pet.

Oh, great. Cue a melt-down. He won't go into nursery without that thing.

Is this what you're looking for?

-You've saved my life.

-Any time.

-Thanks.

-Here. Let me get the door.

Look what Leo found.

He takes that thing everywhere, but he's always losing it.

See in the army?

The sergeant's first job is to look after his men.

You think you can do that for me?

That should work for five minutes.

Yeah, thanks.

Right, I need to head to the arcade. We're opening today.

-Yeah, saw the flyers. Classy.

-Don't.

-Gabriel got a mate to knock them up on the cheap.

-Really? I never would have guessed(!)

-Are they that bad?

-Next time, call me.

I know a thing or two about PR.

Come by later on. Check it all out.

Yeah, maybe I will.

What kind of time d'you call this?

You seen what's going on out there?

Oh, fantastic(!)

What do we do?

They're from one of the local churches.

I know a couple of them. They just want to register their concern.

Oh, no they don't. Not on my opening day, they don't.

They have a right to peaceful protest.

Yeah, and I've got a right to earn a living. And this kinda thing doesn't help!

I see you've attracted some opposition.

Bunch of do-gooders.

Ach well, nothing to stop people having a sense of social responsibility.

Move them on, eh?

-Right.

-We're not moving.

That's your response, is it?

-Intimidation?

-Liz, sweetheart, this place opens in 40 minutes.

The last thing I need are my punters being put off by a bunch of moaning minnies.

Excuse me!

Some of those "moaning minnies" are my friends.

Then do me a favour, take them away for a wee scone.

Or wheel them down the bingo.

Anything... just get them off my patch, eh?

Come on...shift,

or I'll call the police.

He can't talk to people like that!

I couldn't agree more.

Job done.

Excuse me...

Excuse me!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm eating here.

Sorry.

No winching on the job, you pair.

Actually, I'm on holiday.

Are you?

Annie Sobacz... Off, off, off, off, off. Times four.

Four weeks! Who approved that?

You did. Ages ago. I'm going back-packing, remember?

Oh, yeah, you couldn't maybe postpone it a little bit, could you?

No way. I'm all set.

OK.

See next time, get a room.

Actually, funny you should say that.

We were wondering if you could fix the shifts so Charlie can have some time off, too?

-So he can come with me?

-Absolutely not.

-Oh, come on... We never get any time off together!

And you won't unless Raymond gets the finger out and hires more staff.

Until then, all further holiday requests are null and void.

So Charlie can just pop his flip-flops back under the wardrobe and go change that barrel.

-Yeah, but...

-As you were.

Sorry, kids.

Look, I was talking to Jo earlier.

Oh, aye, mention me, did she?

No. She was too busy slagging off the flyers.

Where does that girl get off?

They are pretty rubbish. She wanted to do some PR work for us...

Typical Jo, eh?

She's always got one eye on the main chance.

What's the score with you two anyway?

That girl is major high maintenance.

Maybe you just couldn't handle her?

Maybe I just couldn't be bothered.

Fair enough. So as far as PR work goes...?

We do it ourselves.

Aw, it won't be the same without you.

I really wanted us both to get away.

Away from prying eyes.

She's like a limpet.

Aren't you supposed to be jealous that I've got an admirer hanging round me all the time?

Yeah, right(!) I've eaten bigger ones than her for breakfast.

Anyway...she's just a wee girl.

I'm all woman.

Could I have a top-up, please?

Yeah, sure.

Ready?

Not bad.

Place is a wee palace.

And I couldn't have done it without you, bro.

-Well, without your money.

-This is going to work, isn't it?

-Of course it is.

The place is going to be the making of us.

Yacht in Monte Carlo? Here we come.

-Want to do the honours?

-Stand back, wee bro.

The future starts here.

Hey, hey, hey. Now, I'm looking for happy, smiley faces, and I'm no' really seeing any.

I'm here to present a petition

from local residents and church members.

Et tu, Brutus?

-I'm sorry, Gabriel, but I do have concerns.

-Could you not have raised them over breakfast?

Yes, but there's been developments since then.

Intimidation at the management's request, for instance.

What? You told me to get rid of them!

Look, most people just want to know this arcade won't bring down the tone of the neighbourhood.

Are you open or what?

Hey, shouldn't you be at school?

You see, this is what people are worrying about -

children getting led astray.

It's the holidays. Did they not have them when you were at school?

-They didn't have school when she was at school!

-That's enough!

Do your parents know you're here?

Course they do.

What are you lot doing here?

Why aren't you at sports camp?

We're just checking out the arcade.

-Uncle Gabriel invited us.

-It's lunchtime!

Yeah...so you should be eating your lunch, not playing on slot machines.

Gabriel said we could get our dinner from the vending machines.

Oh! Right, back to the sports centre.

Come on, I'll walk you back to the bus stop.

-We'll be back later.

-Don't be so sure!

You might have been content to waste your youth, but you needn't think you're going to waste theirs.

Nightmare, eh?

Tell me about it.

Are you open?

Yes.

D'you think she'll buy it?

You won't know until you try.

Can you not do it?

-She doesn't fancy me.

-I dunno...

Close your eyes and think of Thailand.

Don't know how you drink so much coffee.

I'd be on the ceiling.

You're funny!

Well, that wasn't one of my best.

Why don't you join me?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

If Eileen sees me she'll go mental.

-She's such a dragon.

-We're short-staffed here at the minute.

With Raymond and Eileen having a baby and running this place, Annie's going away...

Hang on. Are you looking for a job?

-Here?

-Yeah. You've worked in a bar before, right?

-Course.

Why don't you apply. It could be fun.

We could maybe get to know each other a bit better.

Get you! While the cat's away...

I better get back to work.

But yeah, if you're interested, speak to Eileen.

Yeah. I will.

Oh, maybe speak to her fast, because other people might be applying.

Wow. It's hoaching in here(!)

So you took up my invitation, then.

No. I took up Leo's.

She's all yours.

I'm glad you came. Let me show you around.

SLOT MACHINE: 'Hold it right there!'

Aw, Hector. You owe me two quid.

-Oh, aye?

-Aye, that thing just swallowed my money.

That's kind of how it works.

You owe us. I know my rights!

-Citizen's Advice is just round the corner.

-Place is cack, anyway!

Thank you, sir. Come back again, sir.

And next time, bring your wallet!

What? He's at it.

He's a bit stressed.

Don't worry about it.

I couldn't care less.

You're wasting your time. Nobody'll want to go in there...

it's pants.

I need someone reliable.

No doing a shift then deciding you don't fancy it.

Oh, I do fancy it. Loads.

Raymond and Eileen are up against it at the minute, aren't you?

Totally.

I'm one 100% committed. I really want to help you out.

So just put me down for as many shifts as you like.

-Fine, I will. Can you start today?

-Right away, if you want.

Come on round.

OK. Eh...

Pint glasses here, smaller glasses...

What's this?

-Raymond, meet Zinnie, our new barmaid.

-Hello.

-If you want something done, do it yourself.

-Thanks, Eileen.

Now Zinnie's here Charlie can have some time off.

-I didn't say that.

-Oh, come on, please.

-Remember what it was like to be young and in love...

-Not really, no.

Then...remember employment legislation.

He's due his holiday entitlement at your earliest convenience.

She's right.

-Fine! On your own head be it.

-You're going on holiday?

And it's all thanks to you.

You know, when Charlie told me you were applying for the job

I thought it might be because you fancied him.

How wrong was I(?)

From what you said to Eileen,

it's obvious that you're just a really nice girl

who wants everyone around here to be happy. Aren't you?

Yeah. Of course.

Right, I think I'll have a wee glass of wine,

put myself in the holiday mood.

Um, I've got to go and do something.

Never mind. Zinnie can get it for me.

Lots of the machines take tokens,

so that way we can bank the takings without having to empty them every ten minutes.

Plus, if a punter's bought a fiver's worth

-he's more likely to keep spending till the last token's gone.

-Exactly. So what do you reckon?

It's not exactly Caesars Palace,

but it's not too shabby either.

-Your flyers make it look like a scummy gambling den.

-Is that why we've got no punters?

That, and the fact that the moral minority has taken up residence on your doorstep.

-We can't move them on.

-You're just going to accept that?

-I suppose you've got a better idea?

Loads, actually.

-Course you have.

-Hear her out, eh?

What do you think?

Sorry, professional advice doesn't come for free.

-What did I tell you?

-Shut up, eh?

Look, we haven't got much spare cash, but we could pay you for a day's work.

Well, I better get started.

You get yourselves along to the deli

and buy up as much fruit juice, crisps,

pretzels, nuts, as you can afford.

Oh, and don't forget the plastic cups.

Eh?

Let's just do this.

I hope I'm not going to live to regret this.

-I hope you don't think I tricked you or anything.

-Didn't you?

Well, we are short-staffed...

-And you did say you were looking for a job.

-No, I didn't.

-Really?

It's OK. I know it wasn't your idea.

Aw, I'm glad we sorted that oot.

Any chance of a pint or whit?

D'you want to do that?

Fine.

That's 2.70, thanks, mate.

-No worries, bananas. It's on the house.

-Yeah?

-Aye.

Ask your gaffer if you don't believe me.

Raymond, that chancer's back, he says his pint's on the house.

Little...

Right.

I'll deal with this.

Right, what's the problem here?

All right, mate, good to see you again.

Give us a minute, eh?

What are you doing here?

What? I was just in the area... thought I'd say hello.

Right, you've done it. Now beat it.

I would love to,

but I'm not so fast on my feet these days.

Eh?

Done my back in a few weeks ago.

A guy punched us...

What am I thinking, you know the story.

Anyway, ever since, man, I've not been right.

It's kind of spreading to my neck.

You wee...

Actually, I was thinking about phoning one of they accident helplines.

Of course, they would need a crime report,

I'd need to get the police involved, witnesses - that GP pal of yours.

No you don't.

Hey, relax. Cos there is one thing that does take the pain away,

makes me feel less...litigious.

A nice cold pint.

What are we doing then?

On the house.

-You're the boss.

-One pint.

Sort that, would you?

Total waste of money.

There's no harm in giving her a chance,

she's got to be better at this than us.

Leo, the flyers are quality.

They are cheap tat! If you want something doing properly,

you're going to have to pay the going rate.

There you go. Enjoy yourself.

What's she doing?!

Genius.

What are you doing with my tokens?

Giving them away.

On you go inside, refreshments will be available in a minute.

Punters PAY to play the machines, Joanne. That's how I make cash!

As long as they're standing outside you're making nothing. Call it a loss leader.

How did you persuade them to go in?

I simply explained that this place provides a safe, supervised, environment for young people.

Thanks.

Come on, inside!

Well, it's, eh...

It's certainly clean enough.

Thanks, Liz.

What did you expect?

I'm not quite sure...

I've never been much of a gambler, but I used to have a wee flutter.

It's not the same thing as a gambling arcade...

Hey... Is that a one-armed bandit?

Certainly is.

Vintage article, that.

Well, almost.

That's probably the same machine you played back in the day doon the water at Millport.

Hey, that's Rothesay to you.

It looks right smart though, eh...

Look, I'm sorry if I was off with you earlier.

It's just that this place is important to me, I need it to work.

Yes, I know that.

And I wouldn't have made such a fuss

if it wasn't for your brother's overreaction this morning.

Have a wee word with your pals for me, will you?

I'm not out to corrupt the kids.

And anyway, they can only play on the one machine.

Oh. Oh, I didn't realise that.

It's all properly licenced, above-board.

I've yet to see a kid turn to the dark side

after a couple of hours on a driving game.

You're probably right.

Although addiction can start in a very innocent way.

Malcolm, we need to get to the post office.

Just you go on and I'll see you in a bit, eh?

Hey-ho.

You see what you've started?

Good wee set-up you've got.

Thanks. Shame you couldn't have a piece of it.

Well, what's for me will no go by me, eh?

I like it. Very philosophical.

-What kind of turnover are you looking at?

-LAUGHTER

Sorry, can you... just excuse me a minute.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

So are we paying you just to stand round and chat?

I was just telling Jo how well she'd done.

What, by filling the place with folk eating nibbles and spending my tokens?

-I don't really call that a day's work.

-I haven't even started yet.

Back in five.

You need to get off her case.

You're not doing yourself any favours.

Can we no' just do it just now?

So what am I supposed to do meantime? Sit on my hands?

No, I don't think you're getting me here - I need this sorted.

Sorry, pal. Sorry.

Sorry aboot that.

Och, see what I mean? You never used to get folk like that in here before.

He's a friend of Raymond's. Everyone's entitled to a pint.

-Watch!

-Fill it up, eh?

-D'you not think you've had enough?

Eh? Come on, big chap. I've only had a couple of pints.

You'll know when I've had enough when I'm lying on that floor.

-What are you doing?

-Nothing. Just relaxing.

Have we got a problem or what?

Get rid of HIM, will you?

Absolutely.

Serve him.

Make this your last.

Bag of peanuts an' all, cheers.

D'you want dry-roasted or salted?

Thanks, mate, good job.

Another huge chunk of profit hits the dust.

That's the alarm code. Don't lose it.

Yes, boss.

How's it going in there anyway?

Oh, aye, old Malcolm's fairly flogging that one-armed bandit.

He's spent at least...60 pence.

Wow.

You like? Thought I could wear this while I was handing out your leaflets.

-I thought they weren't worth the paper they're written on?

-Number one rule of PR -

It's not the message that matters, but the medium.

-What does that mean?

-It means, if they're looking at her legs,

they're not going to notice how crappy my leaflets are.

Exactly. Speaking of which, better go and get some.

She's amazing.

Forgot my purse.

-What's he still doing here?

-Who?

Oh, him!

Charlie must have served him by mistake. I'll deal with it.

No, no, I'LL deal with it.

Right, time to go home.

Hey, I paid for that.

Aw, no... Raymee gave me it on the house.

-"Ray-mee"

-Raymee, my man!

You know this guy, Raymee?

Never seen him before in my life.

Aw, don't say that, you'll hurt my feelings!

-I'll hurt more than that in a minute.

-Aw, don't hit me again, I'm feart!

D'you want to tell me what's going on?

Take the floor, Raymee.

Hey.

-Taking a break?

-I just needed a drink.

It's no dig, take all the time you need. You're working hard out here.

-Hang on, was that a compliment?

-You're doing a good job.

OK, keep them coming.

Listen, we need to work this thing out.

You're driving me crazy with all this blowing hot, blowing cold.

You can talk, you've been horrible to me for weeks!

Attack is the first form of defence.

Who says everything has to be a battle?

Seems to be the way things are with me and you.

But the making-up's always pretty good.

What are you doing tonight?

-Nothing. Mum and Murray are out.

-OK.

Maybe I'll drop by.

We could get some peace negotiations under way?

Yeah. If you want.

Fine.

Hiya.

Hiya.

Uncle Leo said we could have some free tokens.

-Eight.

-Eight.

-So, what can I do yous for? Some tokens?

-Aye, please.

You hit him?

It was more of a glancing blow.

I was wound up. You'd been on my case all day.

-Oh, so it's my fault now?

-No, no.

I thought I'd sorted it...

I paid him off.

What?!

I thought that would be an end of it.

But he shows up this morning saying if I don't play the game he's gonnae go to the cops.

And you really think they'll believe him over you?

There was witnesses!

Who?

I dunno...

Folk! It doesn't matter!

If I get done for assault I'll lose my licence!

Right. And the alternative is that we've got that wee naff

drinking free beer, harassing our paying customers?

I don't know what else to do.

Oh, how about what you always do, Raymond?

Leave it up to me to sort out.

We should go and visit some of these famous temples.

Er, it's a romantic break not a school trip.

You'll be lucky if you get out the hotel room!

Promises, promises...

I'm off for a slash.

I'll be back for another one of them in a minute.

-Here, what kind of crisps have you go?

-The usual.

I dunno about this.

'Right, well, I'll have one of each...'

Have you got a better idea? Didn't think so.

Not so fast!

I was just...

Save it. We all saw you, didn't we?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, yeah.

Right, so do I make a call to the police

and get all these good people here to be witnesses to your thieving ways...

or do you call a halt to your wee black-mailing stunt with Raymond here?

Don't even think about it.

-All right, all right, calm yourself.

-Nice one.

-Shut it.

It was your idiocy that got us into this mess in the first place.

Now, how many free drinks has he had?

-One or two...

-Oh, come on, look at the state of him!

-Maybe five or six.

-Shut up, man!

£17, please.

I've not got that kind of money!

Well, if you're not going to cough up we'll have to come some alternative arrangement.

The dishwasher's broken.

And it's six hours till last orders,

that gives you plenty time to catch up on the back-log,

and you can supervise.

-You're joking!

-Is this a wind-up?

There's still time to put a call through to the local police station.

-You wouldn't dobb ME in, though?

-No, Raymond.

I don't have to put you in a police station to make your life a misery.

Kitchen. Now.

All right, all right, we're going.

-What was all that about?

-I'm just glad I'm not on the wrong side of her!

-She's mental.

-She's mental when she gets going!

What factor sunscreen do you think I should use?

-I don't want to burn, but I don't want to look emulsioned.

-Suit yourself.

All right... Do you want me to call a taxi?

-Give me a minute, eh?

-What's wrong?

I can't find my passport.

FRONT DOOR OPENS

You're early.

Yeah.

Listen, what are you doing tonight?

I dunno, what did you have in mind?

Actually, I was kind of hoping you could take the kids out somewhere.

By myself?

Just to a film or something.

-I've got a patient dropping by.

-To the house?!

He couldn't make it to the surgery, so I said he could come round here this evening.

I've got some test results to show him.

That's what I call a personalised service.

I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

Fine. Just don't make a habit of it.

Thanks.

Who is it anyway?

If you're that bothered about patient confidentiality

then keep your appointments at the surgery!

There's the number, so ring anytime.

Thank you.

Another happy customer.

-Yeah, well, you're giving it your all.

-What?

-Just clean up, eh?

-What's got into you?

Nothing. Just the place is a mess. It looks like a kiddies' party.

Have I done something wrong?

I dunno. Have you?

-Well, apparently, or you wouldn't be biting my head off.

-D'you know what?

You're just being yourself.

I mean, you'd think by now I'd know what to expect.

-Gabe...

-Clean up, eh?

Here, there's got to be rules about how much of this you can do in one night?

Trust me, pal,

this place is a human rights-free zone.

OK, thanks.

I'll get the manager to call you.

Bye.

Listen, Leo, d'you mind if I go. I think I'm done here.

-Of course, you've been fantastic. Let me just get your cash.

-No, it's OK.

-I'll...get it another time.

-It'll just take a second...

Hey...

What's the matter?

Nothing, really. I just need to go.

Hey, you're going nowhere. What's wrong?

Every time I think we're getting back on track it all goes wrong.

-Gabriel?

-Who else?

Listen, something they taught me in rehab,

when you're battling something, someone...

either you can keep getting back in the ring, keep getting knocked down,

or you can get out of the ring, choose to walk away.

-Yeah, but where to?

-Look, you were amazing today.

-Why don't we get out of here.

-Me and you?

Why not? You turned this place around.

I at least owe you dinner.

I dunno, I need to pick Romeo up from nursery.

-Bring him along. We'll grab a burger or something.

-You serious?

-Why not?

Just didn't think that'd be your idea of fun.

-He seems like a nice boy, I'd like to get to know him.

-OK. When?

I'm ready when you are.

-OK. That would be lovely.

-I'll just get my coat.

What's up, what's wrong?

I'm taking Jo out.

Don't know what you said to her earlier, but she's in pieces.

-She doesn't deserve it.

-You don't know her, Leo.

I don't think you do either, or you wouldn't be so quick to let her go.

Some guy named Dave rang about some bouncer work.

Jo gave him our number earlier.

I said YOU'D ring him back.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm sorry, forget it.

I saw you with that guy earlier,

I thought you were giving him your number.

-That's what that was about?

-I got the wrong end of the stick.

Yeah, you did.

You really think I'm that desperate?

-That I go around throwing myself at random men.

-I told you, I made a mistake.

-Forget it.

-Until when? The next time?

-Eh?

I couldn't do enough for you today. Know why I did it?

Cos Leo asked you.

Because I know this place means a lot to you. And you mean a lot to me.

Then you turn around and throw it back in my face like that.

-Come on, it was a misunderstanding.

-It always is with us.

And it's always going to be. I can't hack it any more.

Jo, get back here.

Sorry.

I'm all out of fight.

-Listen, thanks. Zinnie told me about you getting her a job in the pub. I really appreciate it.

-Nae bother.

-Zinnie?

-Oh, hi.

-I'll leave you to it.

-I'll put the kettle on.

No, I'm not staying. Eileen told me you were on your break.

-I was just wondering if you've seen Annie's passport anywhere?

-No. Why would I?

-She lost it at the pub. Thought you might have seen it.

-Sorry.

Great. Cheers anyway.

Does this mean you won't be going away?

That's kind of how it works.

Well...

I've got my passport...

Sorry?

Why should you miss out just cos Annie can't go? I can come with you.

Are you serious?

You were happy enough to have me working in the pub.

Don't tell me it was just cos Annie wanted you to have some time off.

Right, stop!

Look, what I did today was wrong. And yeah, it was Annie's idea,

but I should never have went through with it.

You're an all right girl, but that's it.

I don't fancy you.

I'm with Annie. Sorry.

I'll see you round.

-Leaving already?

-Yeah, yeah.

You know, I wasn't so sure about him to start with but I reckon he seems like a really nice guy.

What's Annie's second name?

I dunno.

Sobatz, isn't it? Why?

No reason.

Will we be able to get the money back on the insurance?

What insurance?

I was going to buy it on the plane.

-Brilliant.

-Gimmie two minutes.

I'll check my room again.

KNOCKING

This isn't really a good time.

Where'd you find it?

I was heading back for my shift and it was lying on the street.

Annie must have dropped it.

Oh, right. Thanks.

Look, what I said before, about you and me going away together?

I was just trying to be helpful.

-I'd never try to steal someone else's guy.

-Right.

Oh, and I can totally see what you see in Annie.

I was looking at her passport photo. She's really pretty.

-Yeah, she is.

-Right, well I'll leave you to it.

Oh. Just one thing.

Why's she got a different name on there?

Her name is Annie Sobatz, isn't it? Only her passport says something else...

or didn't you know?

You have to be so careful these days. Terrorism, identity theft...

You don't want to get stopped at Passport Control...

That would put a real dampener on things.

You were married?!

-Like I said, no big deal.

-On what planet?

Look, I never lied to you.

Only cos I never thought to ask!

-And if you did, I would have told you.

-Who was he?

-Just a guy.

-Why did you split?

I was too young. I was a completely different person.

-You still in touch with him?

-No. And we never will be.

I don't even know where he is. And I don't want to.

I just want to go on holiday. With you.

I've been a bit of an idiot, haven't I?

Make it up to me by calling that taxi?

Right.

And get a move on! We'll miss that flight!

I'm sorry. I just want us to be able to be honest with each other.

Me too.

I don't know how you take it, man. That wifey's a nightmare.

She's tired. We both are.

We just had a baby.

She's your missus?

I thought she was your boss!

She's not my missus.

It's complicated.

Hang on. It's still got lipstick on that one.

Well spotted. Never have had you down as a jobsworth.

Aye, well, if something's worth doing...

I sound like my nana when I say that.

So why don't you get one? A job, I mean?

Aye, right who'd have me? Is there anything going here?

Because mate, I don't mind washing dishes. It's kinda zen.

-Sorry. I don't think Eileen would go for it.

-Stuff her.

-That's what got me into this mess!

Seriously, mate, but, see the way she talks to you, it's bang right out of order.

-What's a man got if he's not got his dignity?

-True enough.

-So dump her.

-It's not that simple.

-Up to you.

But I'll leave you my number anyway.

See if you do get shot of her, give us a bell. About the job.

I don't remember calling a tea break.

Nightmare.

-He went out like a light.

-Yeah well, busy day.

You were great with him.

I like kids. I want some of my own one day.

Well, thanks. He had a great time.

-What about you?

-Yeah, me too.

-I should probably go.

-No. I mean, not unless you want to.

-I don't...just thought you had stuff to do.

-I don't.

-What?

-Nothing.

-Just you and Gabriel, you're so different.

-Are we?

He's obnoxious and pig-headed and you're...

-What?

-I don't know.

I've done some stuff I'm not proud of, but rehab cleared my head a bit.

Made me realise it's time to take control of my life, make it the way I want it to be.

Sounds good. D'you need an addiction to get in there?

You strike me as someone who's got things pretty sussed.

-From where I'm sitting, my life's a mess.

-Change it.

-That boy away?

-Yeah.

-Look, he's not such a bad lad.

-Don't even go there.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

-I'm just...so tired.

-I know.

And you're right. We do need more help.

-Tell me this is going to get easier?

-Course it is.

Having a baby puts a strain on any couple. Never mind a pair of old-timers like us.

-Is he down?

-Flat out.

-I'll just nip in and say night-night.

-Wake him and you die.

-He won't even know I'm there.

-Eileen.

-What?

-We're doing OK.

-I'm sorry we couldn't find an appointment at the surgery to suit.

-Yeah, well I'm a busy man.

Have a seat.

-Do I need to?

-I think you would prefer...

-I don't. Let's get down to this.

-OK.

I've had a letter from the consultant at the hospital.

They compared the results of your MRI scan with the other one you had done earlier this year in Manchester.

Have I got it?

-It's not an exact science.

-Have I?

Yes. Yes, it looks that way.

The evidence of the second scan and the pattern of your symptoms

suggests you have Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis.

It's early days. The consultant's made you an appointment so she can

talk you through the various treatments, ways of managing your symptoms.

Yeah. Thanks. See you later.

Whoa. We're not done here. D'you want me to call someone? You shouldn't be on your own.

It's all right. I'm a big boy.

Call me. Any questions, anything.

How long?

It's not terminal. A lot of people live with MS.

How long before anybody notices anything?

Well, that depends on your particular symptoms.

All smiles in here tonight.

-Can I get a bottle of white wine to take away please? Make it decent, I don't want cheap plonk.

-Sure.

So have you got over yourself yet?

All right, all right. I was out of order.

Thanks, you might just keep the change.

Aw, come on. What d'you want me to say?

Nothing.

I've got to go. Leo's waiting.

He's still with you?

No! Oh, no you don't! You keep your claws out my wee brother!

So that's it, is it? We have one wee silly argument and you're on to the next guy?

Isn't that what you'd expect from a "tart" like me?

-I never said that!

-No. But you thought it.

It wasn't one little argument. It was months of you acting like an idiot.

Way I remember it, you had a few wee moments yourself.

-Don't want to hear it.

-Know what I'll do.

-I'll get on the phone to Michael, let him know he's next in line!

-Thanks.

You just made us being over so much easier.

Wait, I didn't mean it...

Joanne, you drive me crazy! I'm saying things I don't even mean!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Know what? Forget it!

WARNING BEEPS

Aw, come on.

ALARM RINGS

Hello? Is that Smart Choice Security?

I said, is that Smart Choice Security?

I can barely hear you. Look, gonnae just put me through.

Might have known!

All right, all right. I'm trying to sort it!

Come on, answer!

It's OK, wee man. It's just an alarm, nothing to be scared of.

-I told you NOT to wake him!

-I didn't. It was the alarm!

-You just can't help yourself, can you?

You're a 100% idiot!

If you'd closed his window, he wouldn't have heard the flaming thing!

He'd be dead from heat exhaustion with you turning his radiator up full blast in the middle of summer!

-It's a north-facing room. It's freezing all year round!

-Ohh!

-What's he playing at?

-I don't know.

And I don't care. I've stepped out of the ring.

Glad to hear it.

-D'you need to go down there?

-Let him stew.

I'll put on some music. Drown out the racket.

-When are you ever going to grow up?

-What? And turn into an old nag like you?!

Somebody's got to tell you what to do - you can't work it out yourself!

-Obviously - I was daft enough to get end up with you!

-You're NOTHING without me, Raymond!

NOTHING! You're absolutely incapable of anything.

Running a pub, a relationship, your LIFE!

I'm sick of dragging you along with me. I'm sick of it!

-Where are you going?

-I'm going to go, and I am going to knock that alarm off its hinges

because you sure as hell aren't man enough to do it!

PHONE RINGS

Get that.

Yeah, Tall Ship?

No, she's gone on holiday with her boyfriend. Can I take a message?

Suit yourself.

-Who was it?

-Some weirdo asking for Annie.

If I knew the code, I'd do that, wouldn't I?

Hey? You know what? Just forget it!

-Whoa! Where are you going with that?!

-I'm going to use it to knock that alarm off that wall!

Go on yourself, Eileen!

-D'you know how much this thing cost me?!

-D'you know how little sleep I've had in the last six months?

-You've got 30 seconds!

-OK. Don't move.

-How many more mistakes do I have to make before I get it right?

-I know the feeling.

I've never met a guy like you before.

There's no front. You just say it like you feel it.

Maybe that's my problem.

It's not a problem for me.

KNOCKING

Three guesses.

-Leo, you in there?!

-He's lost the code.

I've lost the code!

Sorry.

It's OK, it's OK, I've got it sorted!

-Sorry.

-What on earth's going on here?

-Sleep well.

-Anything else? Or can I get back to what I was doing?

-So much for not even knowing you're here.

-Sorry.

-What was she going to do with that hammer?

I don't think Eileen's had much sleep.

Leo to the rescue once again.

Yeah. And that's your mum back.

Which means the end of our evening. Listen, thanks for everything.

-Jo?

-Yeah?

-I know you and Gabriel are over.

-So over.

-But he's still my brother, which makes things awkward.

-Right.

-So would it be bad patter if I kissed you good-night?

Not bad patter at all.

Maybe we should have that wee night-cap at The Ship after all.

I'm going to back to bed. You're on the night-shift.

Stevie, it's me. Raymond.

You and Leo? You're better suited, honestly.

Me dating Leo's really screwing with your head.

What kind of cesspit did you climb out of, slimeball?

-How you doing? Good to see you.

-Say hello to your new colleague.

Jimmy, I'm missing my bingo, and this is your wean, is it no'?

Let me go!

Tell me what you know about Lenny Murdoch.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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