06/12/2011 River City

TV: 'Romping Ramsden just gets there.'

We did it, Dr D!

Romping Ramsden on the nose. Please tell me, you did put a bet on?

I've a good mind to take Callum and head off into the sunset, so I have.

Is that what you want? Is it?

You need to stop gobbing off.

And let's see you put in a bit of groundwork.

Another day, another dollar.

You've got me going.

Bob's kept me awake half the night with his snoring.

Poor Stella. At least there's a wall between us and the racket.

Working on a Saturday. You're keen.

Dedication's my middle name.

I wonder if he snores.

Wouldnae mind finding out.

Oh, you're very welcome(!)

Oh, sorry, thanks, love.

Any chance of some toast?

Sure.

Can you read Dan's scrawl?

Looks like ISQ?

In status quo.

His writing's dreadful, even for a doctor.

And yours is so neat. Look, we need to talk before the kids come down.

-HE SNEEZES Bless you.

-That's all I need.

Can you get me a hankie, please?

Actually, scrap the toast. Can I have some cereal instead?

-I don't know what to get them.

-Who?

The children. For Christmas?

Give them a card with some cash. They can get their own presents.

-It's not very personal.

-Here we go. More hieroglyphics.

We need to come up with some ideas.

Well, whatever you think's fine by me. Any chance of some orange juice?

HE SNEEZES

-Bless you.

-I think I'm coming down with something.

I'll get you some tablets. Can't be too careful.

Could be man flu.

-Couldn't sleep.

-Tell me about it. You tossed and turned all night.

Must be my conscience.

Robbie says you don't have one.

Oh, is that right? You're Cinderella and I'm the big bad wolf.

Cinderella had a fairy godmother.

The defence rests.

Excited about today?

Terrified.

I mean...first time we've been out alone. What if the kid hates me?

He's not "the kid," he's Cal.

And you are his kindly old granddad Lenny.

Yeah.

I mean, who couldn't love me?

Be back in a bit.

They're my football socks!

-Tough. I got them first!

-Give me them back.

Get off!!

Oi! Next person I hear's grounded.

-That's fair!

-Do you want grounded right now, madam?

Can't you see your dad's busy?

Go and get some bacon rolls at the Oyster. All of you!

-Forget it! I'm out of here.

-Where're you going?

The surgery! Siberia! Anywhere there's peace and quiet!

OK, but just so you know, I'm inviting Zinnie for Christmas.

-Er, no, you're not.

-It's the season of goodwill!

-Let's keep it that way!

-She's family!

-Don't remind me.

-So that's it. I don't get a say in anything any more?

-I need dropped in town.

-And the boys have got football. It's Adeeb's first day back.

So take them. And explain Santa has to work Saturdays!

Well, don't just stand there!

Oh, sorry, I didnae know you were in!

-Just catching up on some work.

-On a Saturday?

You're taking the hypocritical oath too far, son.

I was hoping to hoover.

I'll get out from under your feet.

I'll just shut down the computer.

Data protection.

Don't bother. I know what's on it. Mrs Baxter's irritable bowel.

And Old McGarrity's liver.

Wi' yon red nose, I could diagnosis it in the dark.

Not much gets past you, Mrs O'Hara.

Aye, it's just as well I'm no' a gossip, eh?

Great minds, eh? I can't get a minute's peace in the house.

Any chance of a coffee?

I'm the cleaner, no' the char lady.

Just milk. Dan?

I'm off. I was in early doors.

-I wouldn't mind going over some of these patients' notes.

-Can it keep?

I'm up to my eyes and I need to...

HE SNEEZES

Bless you.

Looks like it's just me for the coffee.

HE SNEEZES

Oh! Bless you.

Didn't take you long!

Why would it?

-Maybe get it in your mouth next time.

-Don't know how he missed it.

Hey, I need your help around the house.

We've got football practice.

Well, you can tidy your rooms for a "kick-off."

I must sound like a right nag.

-You're a mum. It's your job.

-I'm trying to keep them occupied while I shop online for their presents.

-Christmas is weeks away.

-You sound just like Michael.

-You know how to hurt a guys' feelings!

-He suggested we give them cash.

That's our Mick for you. Sentimental as an old corpy brick.

-I'd better let you go.

-Some chance. I've got to take my lot into town.

-He's at work.

-I can do that. I need to go and look at some new machines for the Arcade later.

Could you? Say about 11?

-I could get Kelly-Marie to cover.

-You're a godsend.

Well, my mum did call me Gabriel.

-45 change.

-Cheers.

Try dreaming in your spare time.

Back to the sweat shop.

Hey! I nearly spilt those coffees all over myself.

Could have been worse, son. Could've spilt them on me.

-Talk about drawing daggers.

-To most people, that's a metaphor.

This and, eh, a dozen scratch cards, please.

Why no'? Life's for the living.

-Yeah, and I don't want to spend mine in here.

-I won't be a moment.

When you're ready, Doc.

Oh. Sorry, your card's been rejected.

-There must be some mistake.

-No worries. Hand the money in later.

You sure?

I'm looking forward to it.

When you've got a minute. I'm looking for some comics.

You know, newspapers for the weans.

I'm sure you've heard of 'em.

Dan, wait up!

Bacon rolls? One better be for me.

Saves Liz cooking, doesn't it? She does enough as it is.

You got that right. If it wasn't for Malcolm and Liz, I'd be in a bedsit now.

Well?

Keeping that one for Christmas?

100 quid!

You must be my lucky charm.

Look, just don't go rubbing me. People would talk.

Is that horse you bet on running again?

Romping Ramsden? 1:30 at Wolverhampton.

I might risk a fiver. Any other tips?

Aye. Never keep old Malcolm waiting for a bacon roll.

Ah, there you are.

Malcolm was saying you must've left the country!

Thought my ears were burning. There you go.

Oh, thank you, dear. It's really kind of you.

You shouldn't have. There's mail for you there, Dan.

That one looks kinda official.

Solicitors!

My wife wants more maintenance due to my new practice.

Hell hath no fury like a women scorned, eh? Still remember that from school.

-You actually went to one?

-Very funny.

The rest of your mail's no' too clever. There'll be bailiffs at the door next.

It's nothing I can't handle. Still, Christmas could be tight this year.

Good reason not to risk your hard-earned on the gee gees.

I think I'll go and give Liz a hand.

What's all that?

Hear the patter in that deli, you'd think nobody had ever asked for a comic before.

-You're taking Cal to the zoo.

-It's for the next time he comes round.

-Concentrate on this time and don't...

-Count your chickens. Yeah, yeah.

-Granny hen doesn't want you near her chick.

-Yeah, well Granny hen better keep her beak out.

What's wrong?

-You're not fit to go anywhere!

-Are you a doctor!? I'm taking my grandwean out, and that's final!

-Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

-I never meant...

-I know what you meant. You're too used to getting your own way.

-I am not cancelling, OK?

I'll go and see the doc afore I go.

There's nothing that cow'd like better than for me to call off.

Sounds reasonable. You missed your vocation. Should've been a lawyer.

Trouble is I blush when I lie.

Look, why not put it back for a few days?

-Let that old boiler claim I backed out?

-You look like death.

Thank you. I needed a lift.

Look, if you're that worried, come with me and Cal.

-I'll grab my cardi and knitting needles.

-It's the zoo. You won't need a Zimmer.

Says the man taking dizzy turns. Anyway, he's your grandson.

Doesn't stop you giving me advice every two seconds about him.

-I'm just trying to help, but of course you'll know best.

-Don't say you weren't asked.

-Some of us have to work for a living.

-You'd better get goin' then, eh?

Don't want to keep your boss waiting!

Just sit yourself down, Liz. Me an' Dan'll do the washing up.

-I'm not completely helpless.

-I'd better go.

Half-day closing.

Oh, of course, the Christmas Club money.

I don't like you walking about with all that cash. It's not safe.

Don't worry. It's only a couple of hundred yards.

Yes, but anybody could be hanging about.

I saw off the last lot who tried that malarkey, didn't I?

Yes. You were very brave indeed, but what if they'd been armed?

She's right, Malcolm. Old folk are a target for that type of scum.

-Who're you calling old?

-I think he means mature.

-But he's right. You've only got to read the paper.

-And not just the racing page.

You'd prop me up in a corner with a pipe and slippers if you could.

-Will you go?

-I would, Liz.

-But I need to get Mike's kids, and that queue in the bank on a Saturday...

-I'll do it.

I've got to collect my keys and cash my winning ticket.

There it is, Dan. Hey, it's mounting up, so be careful.

There's 1,100 in there.

Don't worry, it'll be safe with me.

I wouldnae know how to switch on a computer, never mind work one.

Well, somebody's been mucking about online, and it wasn't me!

-Everything OK?

-The computers have caught a virus.

In a doctors'! Funny that, eh?

Oh, I bet the bill's hilarious. What websites you been on?

-I can't think just now.

-Well, try!

-All right, none!

-These machines aren't for surfing the net when you've nothing to do.

-I've plenty, thanks.

Which is why I was in first thing. If you'll excuse me, I left my keys.

You couldn't get out the door fast enough!

Oh, and by the way, next time you have to hand-write a patient's notes, try making them legible!

Right, I need to call the technician.

-Where's the phone book?

-I dunno.

Try gettin' him online.

BLEEPING

Hello?

Yeah, I'm one of the partners.

Our overdraft?

No, unfortunately, we've had some computer trouble.

Of course.

Look, I'm going to have to call you back.

I'm in the middle of a meeting right now.

OK. Thanks. Bye.

Time's Uncle Gabriel coming?

Soon. I hope you've tidied your rooms.

-Mum, what are you doing?

-Never mind.

Go and get ready and don't keep Gabriel waiting.

(I bet she's buying our Christmas presents.

(She's leaving it late. Be lucky if they get here in time.)

Ah, Conor, does that mean you're not going to leave a carrot out for Rudolph this year?

-Hey, Leyla, you seen Nicoles' room? It's a pit.

-Least it's not a health hazard, like theirs.

The smell of socks would knock you out!

I told you to tidy them. Do it now, or no-one's going anywhere!

DOORBELL RINGS

-Somebody get that, please!

-Make your mind up!

-I'll get it.

Might be Uncle Gabriel.

Leyla! It's Amber's dad.

-Hi.

-Your man in?

-He's at the surgery this morning.

-No sweat. I'll see him over there.

-He's not seeing any patients.

-I'm sure he'll stretch a point.

It's his day off. You'll have to make an appointment next week.

Unless it's an emergency.

No, no, it's no problem.

I'll catch him later. Sorry for bothering you.

-Don't worry. My computer's off.

-Dan.

I've a medical degree, but when it comes to computers, I'm not...

-Can I get a word in?

-The floor's yours.

I was worried about the cost. The IT guy charges a fortune.

He's been out twice in the last fortnight.

It's a real hassle trying to sort out patient notes without the computer.

OK. Forget it.

I'd no right sounding off.

I'm sorry.

-Apology accepted.

-Cheers.

-D'you want me to handle that if you're busy?

-Are you sure?

Course. I'm done here.

Good man. The fact is, there's no point getting frustrated with each other.

I mean, we both have to foot half the bills, don't we?

Yes, well, that would be appreciated.

OK. Thank you. Bye.

That was quick. The technician won't be here for two hours.

You do realise we're ruled by robots?

-Better they go on the blink today than when we've patients.

-Get out!

Your positivity's contagious and I'm not in the mood.

PHONE RINGS

Oh! This just gets even better.

-Who is it?

-It's um... health and safety.

You cleaned the toilets yet?

Hm.

Hey, how's it going, roomie?

-The usual?

-No, I'll take £100 worth.

Cheers.

MUTTERING

All right, I won't then! Either way, I'm gonnae be there in ten minutes.

Listen, I'm gonna be late picking up Cal. That all right?

You're the one that keeps bangin' on about getting him.

I know, I'm sorry. It cannae be helped.

I'm covering for Gabriel. So you'll need to pick him up at my ma's.

Lucky white heather. Listen, don't you be overworking this lassie.

She's got her hands full enough with my grandson.

I'm touched by your concern, but I need to head into town.

-The machines you wanted looked at? And I need to drop Mick's boys off at the football.

-What?

Oh, right. Here. Get them a fish supper from me.

Keep their strength up.

I was a pretty good player, when I was younger.

Can you imagine what would happen when you scored against his team?

It's not a case of dropping by when you don't feel up to scratch.

-What was I supposed to do, pray I made it to Monday?

-You have to start taking things seriously.

There's no quick fix for your condition. Steroids merely alleviate the symptoms.

That's all I want.

I have to administer the injections over a number of days, and you've already had one course.

-So how many am I allowed?

-The guidelines recommend no more than three in a year.

-Well, that's, one down, two to go, isn't it?

-Don't be ridiculous.

There are treatments that will slow down the progression of the disease itself.

-I'm listening.

-Disease modifying drugs, DMDs.

They come in pre-prepared injections.

You want me to stick a needle in myself?

It's not as simple as that.

C'mon, Doc, give me the shot, eh, just so I can take out my grandson?

-Lenny!

-Eh, if you knew how much this means to me.

Come on.

Give me a break, eh?

Thanks again, Doc.

Remember, that shot won't take effect right away, and I want you back here tomorrow for the next one.

Like I said...

-Thanks very much.

-I can't accept that.

C'mon, put it in the weans' Christmas stockings.

An' you're Gabriel's brother.

Genetics is a complex business.

-What did he want?

-His own way, as usual.

Look, I'm aware the limit's been reached.

That was our Christmas sweepstake. I don't know about other bets.

I'm not suggesting the card was stolen.

Look, it'll be paid back as soon as possible.

I thought you were in the arcade. That's none of your business.

Well, I'm making it mine.

-You've bet three grand of the surgery's money!

-Don't be ridiculous.

-Fine. Let's show this to Michael, then. We'll get his take.

-No!

Everything all right?

-It's fine.

-We were just talking about that horse from before.

-Gambling. Waste of money.

-Unless you're playing cards with your mates down the Centre, eh?

Cribbage? A penny a point? Hardly the Casino Royale.

-Right, I need to go and get Mick's kids. I'll be back.

-What about that letter I gave you?

I'll keep hold of it for now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Thought you were busy at work.

I've been getting coffee for Hayley.

-Way to go, Cinderella.

-What'd the doctor say?

My blood sugar's low. I've not been eating properly.

-Me and the wee man'll sort that out. Pity you cannae come.

-Lenny.

-You're busy, you're busy.

I just dropped in to wish you luck.

-I'm actually trying to be nice here.

-Is that what you're doing?

I thought you came to give me a lecture.

-One for the road.

-You aff yer heid? You're picking the wee man up in five minutes!

-It is a lecture! Just not from you!

-You're taking him to Edinburgh Zoo.

You're driving. I need one of these to face your missus.

-She smells your breath, the day out's over.

-He's right. You're making it easy for her.

-What is it, a double act now?

-Ignore him. It's how he acts when people show they care.

-Shucks. Now I'm all embarrassed.

-Like that could ever happen.

Just do yourself a favour and remember to bite your tongue, yeah?

That not your boss shouting on you?

Lenny, lighten up, eh?

You don't know a good thing when you've got it.

Oh, I know all right. But don't let on, though.

I've got a reputation to maintain.

-The elusive Miss Keener.

-Are you crazy? Lenny could see us.

I'm beginning to wonder if that's a bad thing. Not so fast.

We have an agreement, and so far I'm the only one sticking to it.

Tell you what, I'll ask if he's any criminal enterprises on the go, because I want to set him up.

-Lose the attitude. Unless you want to forget our deal.

-I want him to suffer more than you know.

-But if I push too hard...

-I get it.

You two seem pretty cosy just now.

I thought that was the point.

I'm having to sleep with him. He makes my flesh creep.

Right. You know Grandpa Jimmy?

Well, this is... This is Lenny.

Grandpa Lenny. You all right, wee man?

-He was fine till now.

-Just a wee a bit shy?

Aye. Takes after you.

Listen, darlin', Grandpa Lenny's gonnae be taking you out for a wee while. But not for long.

Look, I've got some Jelly-Babies.

Gonna rot his teeth. Plus, he's no' had his lunch yet.

My fault. I didn't know. We'll leave these here for after.

Tell you what? Why don't we go out for burger an' chips?

I'm no' wanting him fed any of that muck! He'll get mad cow disease.

I wouldnae dream of it. Too much of that about already.

I was thinking of taking him over to the Oyster. It's not exactly Michelin Star, but it's friendly.

Right, darlin', off you go with Grandpa Lenny.

Sooner you're away, sooner you'll be back.

TV PLAYS

-Anyone for a cup of tea?

-I'll take one if it's going.

Dan?

Dan?

Sorry, Liz. I was miles away.

-I was saying I've put the kettle on.

-Nothing for me, thanks.

Hope yon letter didn't upset you.

Letter?

From your wife's solicitors.

These things can be very stressful, especially if the court's involved.

-I'll survive.

-I might have a punt on this horse that Gabriel's backed.

-It's even money.

-Here he goes again.

You'd think I'd put my pension on it. Do you fancy a wee flutter, Dan?

-I'll pass, Malcolm.

-Quite right. Don't be drawn in.

Listen. D'you mind putting a fiver on for me?

Actually, I can't. I've still got to pay in your Christmas Club money.

I got...distracted.

Well, on the way there, you can do it, eh? Save an' old man's bones.

He's old when it suits him, this one.

Oh, fair enough, but I'll miss the football.

That would never do.

It's OK. I'll do it. I'll go to the bookies first.

Ah! Good lad. There we are. Stick it on its nose.

You remember what your grandpa tells you.

You look both ways up and down the road before you cross. That's it.

Hey, Doc.

Met my grandson?

We're old pals.

Hi there, Cal.

Going to tell him where we're going?

We're going to the zoo to see the animals.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bet on one.

Yeah? What one's that, then?

-Not for me, it's for Malcolm. Romping Ramsden. Won last week.

-Oh, yeah. I remember.

-You'll be lucky to get six to four.

-It's even money.

Here, Doc. I heard a wee whisper on that race.

Cheeky Wasp. Should come in about ten to one. That'd sting the bookies wi' it.

I'd bet on it myself, but his granny'd have a hairy fit if she seen us in a betting shop.

Taxi for Murdoch!

Be ready in a minute.

Is that you had enough, pal?

Dunno about him, but I'm stuffed.

Here. Keep the change, hen.

Thanks.

Been ages since I had a real burger.

That drive-through crap's like cardboard.

Language in front of the wee man. You know how they pick things up.

-You sound like Frances.

-Well, everybody needs somebody, Lenny.

-Early days.

-She seems to want what's best for you.

-At my age, I like to cover all angles before I commit myself.

-You were born that age.

I was a quick learner.

So will you be, pal, won't you? Your grandpa's going to teach you everything he knows.

-Granny Scarlett will be delighted.

-In fact, I've got some sweeties that she doesn't know about.

-We won't tell her, will we? Sssh.

-That's the way to go, Lenny.

-Three years old and you've got him keeping secrets.

-Serves her right.

Taking sweeties off the wean when I'm trying to break the ice. Wonder I wasn't strip-searched.

-Now, now, Lenny.

-You better not say anything about the sweeties, or me and Cal'll know who grassed.

My lips are sealed. Long as I get my share.

-TV:

-'Welcome to the all weather track here at Wolverhampton.

'Let's have a look at how they bet.'

Hey, hey. Six to four on? The SP's come in.

I took the price at the time. It'd never have gone out.

Evens is fine by me. Good lad.

-It's another language.

-That's how I feel about opera.

'They're off!'

Oh, I like it. There's too many hurdles at this time of year.

I'm just not keen on the jumps. Too many risks over the jumps.

'As they approach the third furlong, the lead stays the same.'

My jockey's just biding his time here.

That the racing on?

Quiet! It's nearly finished.

'Not much between the first three near the end of this race.

'250 yards to go. Cheeky Wasp in front.

'And as they head for home it's Cheeky Wasp, Benny Bhoy...

-'But Romping Ramsden's racing up on the inside, he's closing fast!'

-Come on, son!

'At the line, it's Romping Ramsden!'

Yes!

Well, we'll not be starving this week, eh?

What's up?

Nothing. I had a few of pounds on Cheeky Wasp.

-I'll go get your winnings.

-I'll come with you.

-You don't have to.

-I want to stretch my legs.

Dan, did you bank the Christmas Club?

-Course. I did it this morning.

-Get a receipt?

The queue was out the door. I put it in the night safe.

I'll pick one up on Monday.

Good lad. I'm sorry about your horse.

I'll catch yous later.

Ah.

That was a flying visit.

-Hey. We've some unfinished business.

-I can explain.

-You're bang to rights, pal.

-Gabriel.

-You've been gambling my brother's money!

-It's mine too. I'll pay it back.

You took a hit there.

How much did you bet?

Like I said, a few pounds.

Coming from the guy who just pumped a ton of tokens into the puggies.

That's your scratch card win right down the swannie.

Fair enough, 50, but I put it on my bank card, not the business's.

I don't believe you, Dan.

That bookie doesn't take credit. It's cash on the nail or nothing.

Oh, no! No, don't tell me! Not the Christmas Club?!

That money belonged to people who trusted you, took you into their home.

Much did you lose? How much?

All of it. I'm sorry.

You call yourself a doctor! You're nothing but a common thief!

It's no excuse, but it cost me everything I had to buy into the practice,

-then I've my wife's maintenance money...

-My heart bleeds!

-I'll pay it back, I swear.

-Oh, I know you will!

-And you'll do it today!

-How?

Oh, I don't know.

You can pawn that precious mountain bike of yours for starters.

And your watch. In fact, I'm going with you.

My wife gave me that watch.

You stole off of my family. I want to kick you up and down the street.

You know what? I'll keep quiet for now,

but if all that money isn't in by close of play today, all bets are off. Let's go!

-Hey.

-Hey. What happened to slaving over a hot laptop?

I'm out of ideas and Michael's still at work.

-You don't have any brainwaves, do you?

-You know me.

I get my gifts from the garage on Christmas Eve.

They don't stock a lot for kids, do they?

Cannae fob them off with a key-ring and wine.

But you've more of a clue than Michael.

-I think the world's turned a few times since either of us were kids.

-Still, two heads and all that.

I can't, I already promised Dan I'd go into town with him.

-Don't let that stop you.

-No, no, a promise is a promise!

Trust me, Gabriel. I can take care of this on my own. Bye for now.

Nice guy.

I'm glad him and Michael hit it off so well.

That's a good boy, keeping your seatbelt on.

Didn't want you breaking your teeth on the back of Jimmy's baldy head.

The wee man enjoyed the zoo, eh?

First time he's seen animals behind bars. Probably deja vu for me an' you though, eh?

-That's well behind us now.

-Aye, you're right.

Look, we bought Auntie Frances a toy.

-What're we gonnae call him?

-How d'you know it's a male?

-He's not been moaning yet.

Well, there'll be somebody moanin' soon enough.

-You better caw cannae when you take him home.

-Don't worry.

We got his granny a stock of rock.

But thanks for the tip.

-Here, one for the driver.

-You're all right.

Come on. One granddad to another.

I hope you two have been behaving.

Thought you were Scarlett there!

This is your Auntie Frances. Take it you're old enough for that.

Hey there, Cal.

Glad to see one of you's a big boy.

We bought you a bear. His granny only got a stock of rock.

-Let's hope she breaks her teeth.

-How many times? She's Cal's mum's mum.

-That means she's got clout.

-I know!

But all this humble pie is leaving a bitter taste.

You want to be a granddad.

Swallow it and smile!

Here you go.

CAR BRAKES SCREECH

Cal!

What's wrong with you?

Well?

What?

I'm not stupid. Something happened out there, I know it did.

I got a bit dizzy getting out the cab, it's just the cold.

-Forget it. If you don't want to tell me, don't.

-There's nothing to tell, honest!

-Y'know, Ewan wasn't much older than Cal when me and his mum split up.

-I heard she...passed away.

Now, Ewan's gone, and Amber.

Don't be so morbid. At least your daughter's alive and well.

Yeah, in the jail, thanks to that scumbag McCabe.

You know, if I could, I'd dig him up and kill him again.

God must be giving me a second shot, eh? With the wee fella.

And you.

Must've done something good in my life, eh?

PHONE RINGS

Yeah? How're you doing, pal?

I was just thinking of warmer climates.

Already?

Yeah.

Give me a call in a week.

How do you fancy a wee break?

-Depends where you're taking me.

-I can guarantee you it'll be somewhere nice and somewhere hot.

Why don't you come with us when I take Cal back?

-Bit of moral support.

-Look, Lenny, if you want a bodyguard, just say so.

Well, that's Conor's ticket booked.

Hope I'm right. It's probably what I'd have wanted when I was his age.

He'll be over the moon. Wish I'd thought of it.

Hey. You've got a lot on your mind this time of year.

With Michael working all hours, it's mostly left up to me.

Any idea what you're getting him?

A new watch. I've seen one.

It can tell the time in Glasgow, Rome, and...I don't know, Acapulco!

Which is pretty handy if you're goin' loco down there.

I wish! Blimey, we've not been on holiday since we got married.

Still, now Dan's joined the practice, we can maybe afford a couple of weeks in Spain next year.

And what's Don Miguel getting you?

Gabriel, I've dropped so many hints that even Michael might pick up on one.

Remember those earrings you rescued?

There's a matching necklace. It's not cheap, but it is Christmas.

You're a very quick learner, so you are.

I'm teaching him to cross the road.

So that's what he was doing before? Don't give me the evil eye.

You owe it to Cal to look after yourself.

Take the wee man a minute, will you?

-Doc?

-Not now. I

-think you're going to have to work on that bedside manner.

We'll talk tomorrow when you come in for your second shot.

Listen, it's about the other drugs.

Look, I'm not saying I want a tutorial...

I don't know. Maybe Olga from the Volga could show me the ropes.

I'll talk to Tatiana.

Why the change of heart?

She thinks I should take better care of myself.

Glad you listen to somebody.

I need to use the pc.

Fine, thanks. How are you?

Computers are down in the surgery.

-I need to check the company account, make sure we paid that IT bill.

-You did!

Dan said he was doing the mail this morning

-and he happened to mention that the payment went through.

-Course.

He'll have the invoice. Still, I can't find Mrs Sinclair's file.

And knowing you, you've tidied it away somewhere.

I'm not in the habit of hiding files in the house.

Well, it wasn't at the surgery.

I'll have a look in our room. You were reading notes in bed most of the night.

So, any idea what you're going to get the good lady?

-Vouchers, probably.

-It's true!

-Romance isn't dead.

-You'd know all about that, eh?

A fish supper followed by a quick fumble in the back of the van.

The van's sold and I'm single.

-Your choice of present should reflect...

-Let me deal with that, OK?

-So have you seen Dan on your travels?

-Not since he left the surgery.

What is this, a quiz?

You left it under the bed.

Thanks, love. Any chance of a sandwich before I head back?

There he is. Safe and sound.

-Were you a good boy at the zoo?

-Couldn't be better.

Did Grandpa Lenny take you to the reptile house to meet his pals?

Oh, I got you a stock of rock.

-What am I meant to do with that?

-Use your imagination.

Saw you in the surgery this morning.

-Hope you've not got something Cal could catch!

-If you must know, he's being recommended to see a hypnotist.

A what?

I've heard it all now.

We might be going abroad on holiday, and, well, Lenny's scared of flying.

Is that right?

'Fraid so.

I've heard everything now! Lenny Murdoch, feart to go on a plane.

He gets a nosebleed standing on a chair.

We won't keep you back.

-You ready?

-Remember what your grandpa says, son, you look both ways, OK?

-Thanks again.

Oh, I take it Lenny's to collect Cal at the same time next week?

If that's what Kelly-Marie says.

Great. Bye for now.

Bye.

Hm. I needed that.

Tell you what, at this rate, I'm going to have to do a couple of hours on Christmas Day.

What?

Believe me. I'm not enamoured with the idea, but I'm snowed under here.

Well, I'm just gonnae check on Kelly-Marie 'fore I get the kids.

It'll give yous two a chance to talk.

-How'd you get on at the pawn?

-They'll only give me 500.

-What about the bike?

-That's for the bike. And the watch.

But you owe the club, and three grand to the surgery.

I'm out of options here, Gabriel.

-Get on the phone to one of the loan companies. Safer than going to a shark.

-They charge an arm and a leg!

You'll lose a lot more if people find out you've been gambling their savings.

I'll get you in The Ship later. Move.

OK, I'll make some calls.

Yeah, you do that, Dan.

Because I cannae keep this from Michael for much longer.

You call, beg, I don't know, sell your body.

Just get that money in the bank today.

-Hear the comment about the reptiles?

-Well done, not rising to the bait.

-Who does she think she is?

-Cal's grandmother?

-I'm his grandfather. She better get it through her skull.

-Calm down.

My daughter is doing time for killing the guy that stabbed her man!

Does she think what I'm going through? And Jimmy. I gave him a job when nobody else would touch him!

Her son, he's doing a ten, for dealing that scumbag McCabe's smack.

Her sister's in and out of jail, and her brother got captured with a prostitute.

-We're not talking the Waltons here!

-I thought we decided this was the best way to play it.

-I don't know.

-I wish you'd let me loose on her back there.

-You're right.

Then the lawyers get involved, look into your past, ask questions. Good thinking, Lenny!

What does it matter to you what a lightweight like her thinks?

Sorry, I'm just sounding off.

Quick thinking back there. Hypnotist?

Don't like the bit about the nosebleed though.

Ah, but Scarlett did.

Get a girl laughing an' she'll agree to a lot.

You played her well. Any flies on you are paying rent.

You've lots more to learn about me.

But I'll enjoy teaching you.

-Oh, yeah?

-Hm.

Working Christmas of all days! And you're away to the surgery again!

-I've no choice in the matter.

-We had to tighten our belts last year, cos we'd just bought the practice...

We knew taking a partner was a double-edged sword.

-The practice was always going to get bigger, and winter's our busiest time.

-So let Dan do it.

-I can't lumber him with it all!

-But surely he can share the workload? He shares the profits!

I'll have a word with him when I get a chance, but I can't promise anything.

I'll be as quick as I can.

Thanks for nothing.

Shall we... Ooh! Mind if we join you?

Hey, let me get you a drink.

No, thanks, Malcolm. You keep your winnings.

You'd think he'd won the lottery.

The lottery's luck.

Horse racing's the sport of kings.

It's still a gamble.

Life's a gamble, Liz.

Who would have bet on me being so happy again, after losing my Rose.

Now, have you thought about what you're going to do for Christmas?

I haven't decided.

I can't spend it with my son, so I'll probably book into a hotel somewhere.

You'll do no such thing. Will he, Malcolm?

You'll spend Christmas with us, and that's an end of the discussion.

That's far too kind. I couldn't impose. It's too much.

-You're very welcome.

-Course he is.

Anyway, our share of the Christmas Club will more than cover you.

-I don't know what to say.

-There's nothing else to say.

Now, you sure I can't get you that drink?

No, I can't. I promised I'd help Michael finish some paperwork.

Lovely young man.

-Don't know what that wife of his is thinking about.

-Cheers.

Can I get a taxi?

Where you going?

The casino by the Clyde.

Might be half an hour or so.

Hey, wait.

Come here.

Could be ten minutes. Come in. Sit down, take the weight off.

I'm just about to have one. Yourself?

Oh, no, forgot.

I've got some water if you'd like it.

Oh, listen, I think I gave you a bum steer earlier on today.

Sorry about that. I should have told you to bet that horse for a place.

Don't worry. I didn't lose much.

You can afford to go to the casino?

Fancy a few hands while you're waiting?

-No, I'll save my money for the tables.

-Sure?

Get you into the swing of things?

You can choose what we play.

Draw poker?

That's not really my game, but yeah, why not?

I'll see you, and raise 50.

Another nifty, eh?

Call.

Two pairs.

Kings and aces. Need at least three of a kind to beat me.

I knew this wasn't my game.

Cut.

50.

Your 50 and 50 more.

Your 50 and another 100.

You're bluffing.

Need to pay to find out.

Call.

Ace high?

That means my two ladies lift the pot.

I'd a hand like a foot.

Your taxi, Doc. Are you ready to roll?

That depends. Want to go on?

And lose my shirt?

Another half hour, Jimmy, let me win some of my money back.

Hey, guys. How was your leg?

-Good enough to score two crackers into his team.

-Both a mile offside.

-You can't take the fact that your team suck!

-Come here and say that.

That's enough. And put your dirty kit in the washing basket.

Brotherly love.

Nothing like it.

-There you go.

-Ooh! What did you buy?

-That would spoil the surprise.

-Least someone's got the festive spirit.

Don't give Mick too hard a time, eh?

'Fraid I had a right go at him after you left. It's not his fault.

He works so hard.

Just hope he's finally found a partner he can rely on.

OK, Doc, your chariot awaits.

I think I'll give the casino a miss.

I wonder why?

Make your mind up, gents.

I knock off in 20 minutes.

Off you go then, Jimmy. Give Cal a kiss from me.

-I'll take one.

-You're no' my type.

-One card.

-One for the doctor.

Dealer takes two.

I need another drink. Can I get you one?

No, I'll pass.

50 more.

Your 50...

and 100.

100.

And 300 more.

I'll see your three.

I'll raise you...

a grand.

Are you trying to buy the pot?

It'll cost you a grand to find out.

I'm all in.

Take my marker?

Come on. I'm calling your bluff.

Unless you're bottling it, that is.

OK.

Right.

Can you beat a full house?

That's a good hand.

Not good enough, though.

I think they call that a Royal flush.

Ah, it's all right.

But it's not as good as the original. I'll get it for you.

-Thanks for everything today, Gabriel.

-We're family.

Which is why we'd love it if you could join us for Christmas.

Unless you've got any other plans.

Well, it means putting off Cameron Diaz.

Look, I appreciate it, but, better run it past Mick first.

As you said, we're family. Anyway, I can make some decisions myself.

-All right?

-Dad bought a Christmas tree.

-And I've ordered a turkey. The biggest one in the shop.

-Throw another log on the fire, Bob Cratchit.

-That's lovely, darling.

Sorry for being a misery earlier.

Well, man flu can do that to you. By the way, I've invited Gabriel for Christmas.

Well, if you can put up with Gabe, I suppose I can suffer Zinnie.

Aw, she'll be dead pleased.

If Dan agrees to help out over the holidays, we could invite him as well.

Which reminds me, I'm meeting him in the Ship. I'll catch you later.

Thanks again, Gabriel.

Hey, what are families for, eh?

It, er, could be a couple of days till I get you the cash.

I'm a bit strapped.

I can wait.

In fact, if you're in a hole, I can give you a few quid.

-No, I couldn't ask you to do that.

-You didn't.

I offered.

I really don't think...

Nonsense, man. I'll give you something to tide you over.

Much d'you want?

Would two grand be all right?

Don't insult me, Doc. You can have as much as you want.

But two grand's not gonnae stretch very far this time of year, is it?

I'll tell you what.

You owe me a grand from the game.

Why don't I give you another...

..four? That'll be five grand. You can square me up next month.

What, is it not enough?

No, um...

That's plenty.

Who knows, one day you might be able to do me a favour.

Cheers.

Add an orange juice to that. I'll get these.

-Well?

-It's sorted.

Don't give me that!

-There's my watch, my bike's outside...

-Who cares about you?!

What about my brother and the Christmas Club?

I handled it, like you said.

You better not be lying to me.

I got put through to my manager's mobile, he extended my overdraft.

-Just like that?

-I'm a GP. I'm a pillar of the community.

If you're lying to me, you'll end up a pillar in the community!

It's the truth. I got it all paid back.

-I want to see proof on Monday.

-You will.

Soon as the bank opens.

Oh, and one more thing. They're good people round here.

You disrespect them or my family again, and you an' me are going to fall out big time!

You got that, too?!

Cheers, Bill.

OK. Speak to you later. Bye.

-How about the Caribbean? Mix a wee bit of business and pleasure.

-When?

-I was thinking maybe New Year. It's cold here.

-Sounds fantastic.

Then I'll book it.

We're very alike, you and me. We make up our minds and that's it.

Listen, um... I want to talk to you.

Earlier, today, in the street.

Something did happen.

The thing is...

..I've got MS.

You mean...multiple sclerosis?

Yeah, well, I mean, it's in remission,

but, since you backed me up today, I thought... I wanted to tell you.

Did you think it would make me feel any differently towards you?

I wasn't sure.

Nothing could change how I feel.

Keep it to yourself. If Scarlett finds out, she'll keep the kid away from me.

-Things are hard enough as it is.

-I won't breathe a word.

Thanks for trusting me.

Not normally a trait of mine.

But neither's how I feel for you.

BLEEPING

Sorry, Lenny, I have to go, it's Hayley.

I think there's a problem.

I'll not be long.

You're looking pleased with yourself.

-Anything to report?

-Not yet, but something's up. He's taking me on holiday, so I need a new passport.

-I can't use my own.

-Hold on a minute.

-He's talking about mixing business with pleasure.

I doubt he's going to the Caribbean to buy coconuts!

You've given me sod all so far, so you can forget about going abroad!

-I'm not hanging around here, while you're topping up your tan.

-Listen.

-You listen!

Frances is a tiny cog in a big machine.

I'll have Murdoch banged up by Christmas.

So you just sit tight, Viv!

And don't ever go thinking you're indispensable.

You gave Donald a sim card from Murdoch's phone?

I know it was stupid...

This could ruin everything.

You think I'm going to walk into a meeting with Lenny and this Vince McGregor wired up?

-Not a chance.

-Don't underestimate me, Vivien.

Stay focussed.

We play this right, Lenny Murdoch will soon be ours.

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