24/04/2012 River City


24/04/2012

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Transcript


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Why don't you let me call the police?

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Are you going to call them yourself?

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-No.

-Whoever did this to you, they shouldn't get away with it.

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Are we done here?

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What's this?

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What does it look like?

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Are you asking me to marry you?

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Oh, you're quick on the uptake.

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Detective Constable Cooper, Ms McCrone reported that you were attacked last night.

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-When she said...

-Ah, Gabriel!

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Are you ready for my big night?

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Mr Fraser?

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Have you got any news yet, dates for the trial?

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Actually, I'm on another case now so...

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Meanwhile he's in fear of his life?

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Er, strike that from the record M'Lud. I am fine and dandy.

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But I don't want that to happen to anybody else.

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Me too. But it's with the Fiscal now.

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-As soon as they get a date, they'll send you a letter.

-OK. Right.

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Let me see what I can find out.

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I'll text you with any news once I'm off shift.

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Great. Thank you

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Come on, Robbie. we've got a Hen to go to.

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Here we go, Malcolm.

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Has everybody got drinks in?

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A toast. To Malcolm.

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There's no fool like an old fool!

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Hey - less of the "old"! Cheers!

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-Yup?

-A bottle of Cava to carry-out thanks.

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Very nice. Special occasion?

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It's for Liz's hen do.

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God, I know. Why would you even bother at that age? They're only going to peg it.

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22.50, thanks.

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-Have you not got anything cheaper?

-Sorry.

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The quicker the mini-market opens up the better.

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Any day now apparently.

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Although from what I hear it's not the sort of place

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that's going to be selling fizz.

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Didn't expect to find you here.

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I'm just leaving. I know what these stag nights can be like.

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I don't think you'll find Malcolm sellotaped to a lamppost in the morning.

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-Don't you believe it. C'mon, we're going through the back.

-In a minute.

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No, on you go, I need to shoot anyway.

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-I'm late as it is.

-Behave yourself.

-No chance!

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-No, thanks.

-I had one.

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Well, this is nice.

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I wonder how they're getting on at the stag do?

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They'll be swinging off the chandeliers.

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Oh, no doubt. You know how it gets when alcohol's involved.

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Not really.

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I hope for Dad's sake they're being careful.

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I thought he was looking tired.

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Nonsense, he's fine.

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Right, I'll just go and refresh the pot. Do help yourself, ladies.

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There's plenty more in the kitchen. I've made far too many.

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Let's make our excuses and head up the town.

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Nah. I'm not in the mood.

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-You need to get back out there again.

-I don't want to.

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You're going to die an old spinster.

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Suits me. I've been thinking about getting a wee cat...

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TEXT ALERT PINGS

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Who's that?

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The polis. They've got news.

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-That was quick!

-I'll find out what's happening.

-I'll come with you.

-No. I need to do this myself.

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Besides, we can't both leave. See you later.

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-Oh, you leaving already, Robbie?

-Sorry, polis business.

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Let's not keep you then. That'll be Stella.

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I'll let her in.

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Make sure you get some beauty sleep now.

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Oh, yes. I intend to.

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-Bye, ladies.

-ALL: Bye!

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Hope you've not started without me!

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No. I see you've waited.

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Sorry. She caught me as I was leaving I couldn't shake her off.

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-Hey, that's my ma you're talking about.

-Aye, but it's nothing you wouldn't say yourself!

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It's the more the merrier, eh?

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Of course.

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I brought a bottle!

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We thought we'd just stick to tea.

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We don't want any hangovers at the wedding tomorrow.

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But thanks for this. I'll pop it into the drink's cabinet.

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Save it for a special occasion.

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Oh no, no, no!

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Come on, Liz, you cannae have a hen night without a wee bevvy!

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Here - crack that open.

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I'd a bottle of Irish Cream left from Christmas and I just poured some out.

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Right, ladies. Let's get this party started!

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Bad luck, Gabe. Right, get to that bar. I've got a right drooth on here.

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-I've a better idea.

-No welching. The loser buys the round.

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There's no need for that. I have brought a wee carry-out.

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Bit high-class for you?

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Ask no questions, Jimmy? And I'll tell you no lies.

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-Aye, I thought as much.

-Let's just say I called a favour in from a pal, right?

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Who are you mates with.

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It's wet and it's alcoholic. D'you want some or not?

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I think I know where it came from. Just watch what you're doing.

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Just get it down you.

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-Malcolm - fancy a wee one?

-Don't mind if I do.

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Just don't tell the publican, eh?

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Every man has his price.

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That is good stuff.

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Nothing but the best for you, Malcolm.

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Raymond, thanks, for tonight.

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Like the man says. You deserve it.

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-I'm a lucky so and so. Good friends. Good family.

-And tomorrow, a good wife.

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You know Liz's taking Power of Attorney?

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I thought Eileen was doing that?

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We didn't want the girls to worry about making any big decisions

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when the time comes.

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Anything happens - Liz is the boss.

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-Better be good to her then.

-Oh, I intend to be.

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Come on!

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ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

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-She'll never get that in!

-She'll no get that in without gagging!

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ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

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Victory lap!

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It's a shame Robbie couldn't make it. He's missing all the fun.

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ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

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She's OK!

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Oh. My God!

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That was amazing!

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You are amazing!

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How the hell did this happen?

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I don't know. One minute we were talking trial dates and then...

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-Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

-This is so wrong.

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-No, it isn't!

-No, this is totally unprofessional.

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What? You were great!

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I'm serious! I'm not supposed to sleep with victims.

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-Is that what you think of me? A victim?

-No.

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Cos if that was some kind of pity thing...

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It wasn't.

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-Some kind of new-fangled victim support initiative.

-No.

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Then count me in.

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-Are you always like this?

-What? Alluring?

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Facetious?

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Possibly. What does that mean again?

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I give up.

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No, give in.

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All set for the big day?

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Ready as I'll ever be.

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Flat white to go, thanks.

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No bother.

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Did I miss the zombie invasion?

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Nope. They're still here. And taken up residence in his gut.

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Good night, though. Malcolm had a good time.

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I'll take your word for it.

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The last part's a bit of a blank.

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You lost 50 quid at pool.

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And bagged off with Molly O'Hara on your way home.

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Hilarious.

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Listen, I'm at work all morning so you're in charge.

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Anything still need doing for the wedding?

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Just need to pick up the flowers and the car.

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And a job lot of paracetamol?

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If you were any kind of pal you would write me out a prescription.

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For that kind of headache, we don't make pills big enough.

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See you lunchtime.

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-Brown or red?

-What?

-On your bacon roll.

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No - no bacon. Never mind. We'll go to the Oyster.

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I'll show you off. Get your kit on.

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Oh. You already have.

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-Yeah. I need to go.

-I thought you weren't working until this afternoon?

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I'm not. I've just got stuff to do...

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-Maybe later then?

-I could meet you in the pub?

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I dunno. I think I'm busy.

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Yeah. Me too, actually.

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See you then.

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Sure.

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Oh, you've surfaced, have you?

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I think maybe I over did it last night.

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As long as you had a good time.

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Aye. I did. How did your hen night go?

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Oh, very quiet.

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Now I think this might be - yes, this is from Jo.

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Yes, isn't that lovely? I'll pop it up next to Ruth's.

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Aw, very thoughtful. Just a shame they can't be here.

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I know, I know, still they're here in spirit.

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Talking of which - I've got something for you.

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Oh?

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Something borrowed.

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To wear on your dress.

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It was Rose's.

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Oh, Malcolm.

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I hummed and I hawed

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but I think she'd want to be here today in some kind of way.

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It just seems right. That's if you don't mind?

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Not at all. It's beautiful.

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I don't know what to say. I didn't think to give you something.

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You've given me the world. And don't you forget it.

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So what time did you get in last night?

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What's it got to do with you?

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I heard you all got steaming.

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Listen, it would take more than a couple of Irish Creams to fell me.

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You just stick to your homework

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and leave the swallying to those that know how to do it properly.

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It's not homework. I'm checking out travel deals.

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We're going on a family holiday.

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Oh, are we?

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Not you. Me, Mum and Bob.

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Oh, that's very nice, isn't it?

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I suppose I'm only family when you need some place to stay!

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-Easy...

-What's all this about you jetting off somewhere without me?

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No the now, Maw, eh?

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Let's get you over to the sofa.

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I think a hard chair would be better.

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-OK.

-What's up with him?

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I done my back in last night.

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Lying in your bed?

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Does it matter?

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What were you doing in there? The pole vault?

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-Ma!

-Oh.

-I so don't need to hear this. I'm going to school.

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If you want to make yourself useful, put the kettle on.

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Good idea.

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Great - now everybody knows that I can't perform my marital duties.

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Don't be silly - but maybe next time not so enthusiastic, eh?

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If there is a next time. I can't raise my arm let alone anything else.

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You just need some rest and some painkillers.

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I'll make you an appointment with Dan - he'll give you a prescription. I'll get you some breakfast?

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Aye.

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Hey, it's me.

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Listen, I don't know if you've forgotten or not

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but today's the big day.

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So quit with the radio silence - gimme a phone about that car

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we spoke about.

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Heard of a doorbell?

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Liz gave us keys because of dad.

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You look even worse than Raymond.

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-Thank you.

-How's the groom doing?

-Fine. He's getting his stuff together.

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Already? Did you not tell him it was too soon?

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Sorry. I must have missed the bit in my tenancy agreement that made me

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your Dad's keeper.

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Anyway, I need to go and get the wedding flowers.

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Dad? Dad, are you through there?

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I can't find my cuff links.

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You don't need to get dressed yet - it's hours till the wedding.

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I just want to be organised. What are you after?

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I knew that stag do would be too much.

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You asked me to go over your vows?

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Oh, aye. Where did I put them?

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I've got a copy here.

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No, no. I wrote new ones this morning.

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Here they are.

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-Oh, Dad.

-What's wrong? Are they too soppy?

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No, no. It's not that, it's just - this bit here.

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It's not that bit I'm worried about.

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No, but you say that Liz is the mother of your children.

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Rose was our mum.

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I know that. Let me see.

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It's just a slip of the pen.

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That's the bathroom free. Oh, Eileen.

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I didn't expect to see you so early.

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-She's just away. We're all done.

-I'll just see you out then.

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Then Gabriel pulled out this whisky he'd scored off the back of a lorry.

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Is it just whisky he can lay his hands on?

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What? The price of absinthe's gone through the roof!

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As you were.

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Dan, I need to make an appointment for Bob. It's kind of urgent.

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OK. I'm full booked for this morning.

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I'll see him. Put him down for an "on the day".

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Oh, OK. Thanks.

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-Ten o'clock OK?

-I'll phone and tell him. Thank you.

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Don't mention it.

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I'm looking forward to meeting the famous "Big Bob".

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I might even find out how he got his nickname.

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Or is that just between the two of you?

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-How could he get something like that wrong?

-He maybe had more of that whisky than we thought.

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Are we out of paracetamol?

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Raymond!

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Look, it's his wedding day. He's got the jitters.

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-It happens to the best of us.

-He had it written down! I saw it with my own eyes.

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Hallelujah.

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Thank you for your concern.

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Look, he knows full well that Liz isn't your mum.

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Maybe this has all gone a bit too fast for him.

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He knows what he's doing. They both do.

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-I suppose.

-I know it's all moving a bit fast but it's hardly shotgun, is it?

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They've got the legal stuff sorted. He was telling me last night that Liz's taken Power of Attorney.

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What?

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I know. Good for her, eh? One less thing for you to worry about.

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-What do you think?

-I think this will go OK.

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-You got a minute?

-Yeah. What is it?

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We've got a problem.

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Hi.

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Here we go. One posy, eight buttonholes.

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Wonderful. Thank you so much.

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Now what time is the wedding car arriving?

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I'm just waiting on a call to firm up the details.

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I can't wait till he sees it. Malcolm loves a classic car.

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It's really very kind of your friend to let us borrow it.

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He's that kind of guy.

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Right, I reckon you'd need to be here at say quarter to one,

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if you've got to come back to pick me up...

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I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm fussing again.

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I'm sure everything will be fine.

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-Course it will.

-Come on in, Gina.

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I need to shoot.

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Listen, how are you feeling?

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I think things may have got slightly out of hand last night...

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I'm fine. Is my dad in?

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In the bath. But I'm really glad you're here. I've got something to give you.

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Liz, never mind that.

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Eileen told me that my dad's made you Power of Attorney

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Ah. She's stolen my thunder. That's what I had to give you.

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The legal letters. They arrived this morning of all days.

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We've all got copies.

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And, there's a couple of things changed in your father's will.

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Right.

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It was some rigmarole, I can tell you. Letters from the doctor and what-not.

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But you have to be judged to be compos mentis before you can

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make any changes at all.

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So you'll understand why we had to do things in a hurry.

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Just in case there's any more.... deterioration.

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-Yeah. Of course.

-I don't want to put a pall over the day but I just thought that you

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and Eileen know that I've got everything under control.

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So we can all relax.

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I don't really see what the problem is.

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The problem is that a vulnerable man has somehow been persuaded

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to sign over everything to a woman whose name he doesn't even know!

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Eileen...

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What does she mean?

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Your dad was a wee bit confused this morning.

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It's pre-wedding nerves.

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No. No, it's dementia.

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You know, I don't even know what I've been thinking.

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We've all been going along with this wedding thinking that

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it's lovely and romantic but it's not.

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It's just plain wrong.

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Dad is clearly in no fit state to be making a big decision

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like getting married. He can't be. Or he'd never have agreed to this.

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-That's ridiculous!

-Is it?

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Can you honestly say that you're happy that he knows what he's doing?

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Just finish getting the pub ready for the reception.

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What? You're going to let this farce of a wedding go ahead?

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No, I'm going go and speak to Liz and Dad, let them put my mind at ease.

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-And if they can't?

-Just get on with it, eh?

0:21:060:21:08

Relax.

0:21:140:21:16

When did the pain come on?

0:21:200:21:22

I was in my bed.

0:21:220:21:25

Were you doing something very strenuous?

0:21:250:21:27

I'd rather not say.

0:21:290:21:30

I see. Well, I can give you a prescription

0:21:300:21:34

and sign you off work for a week but in future you might want

0:21:340:21:37

to avoid exerting yourself in a similar fashion.

0:21:370:21:39

-You mean I've not to...

-No. Don't be silly.

0:21:410:21:44

But you need to expand your repertoire,

0:21:440:21:47

you know, find positions that keep your back stable.

0:21:470:21:50

I'm not sure I know what you mean.

0:21:510:21:53

Good grief, I'm not going to demonstrate.

0:21:530:21:56

If you're short of ideas, why don't you go get yourself

0:21:560:21:59

a book from the library or whatever people do these days.

0:21:590:22:02

Right, OK, thanks.

0:22:020:22:04

No. I'm not done.

0:22:040:22:06

Oh?

0:22:060:22:08

You're very fat.

0:22:080:22:09

Aye, I've put on a wee bit recently.

0:22:130:22:17

More than just a bit.

0:22:170:22:19

You don't need me to tell you that you're dangerously overweight.

0:22:190:22:23

I need to go to my work.

0:22:250:22:27

I've signed you off.

0:22:270:22:29

Roll up your sleeve. I want to do your blood pressure.

0:22:310:22:33

And we should probably run some blood glucose

0:22:330:22:35

and cholesterol tests. I can get Tatiana to arrange those.

0:22:350:22:39

No! I don't want her involved.

0:22:390:22:41

Fine. Then I'll do them myself.

0:22:410:22:43

No, look nobody's doing anything. I just came in here for my back.

0:22:430:22:46

It's all part of the same thing. You're morbidly obese!

0:22:460:22:50

And you're a nosy cow!

0:22:500:22:52

Sorry.

0:22:520:22:55

Send in the next one.

0:22:590:23:01

-Lenny in?

-No.

0:23:040:23:06

Good. Get on the boss's line and phone that number.

0:23:070:23:11

Tell the guy Lenny wants to see him, pronto.

0:23:110:23:14

I don't take orders from you.

0:23:140:23:15

Do it!

0:23:150:23:17

All right, all right. Calm your breeks.

0:23:170:23:20

You know the more I think about this the worse it gets.

0:23:230:23:26

Any chance you could put those down and give me a hand?

0:23:260:23:29

Raymond, do you really not get what's going on here?

0:23:290:23:31

Nope. But I'm pretty sure you're going to tell me.

0:23:310:23:34

OK, how about this?

0:23:340:23:36

For years she's been happy enough being his bidey-in

0:23:360:23:39

but the minute he gets ill, she's dragging him up the aisle,

0:23:390:23:41

taking away all his rights, taking away his house...

0:23:410:23:44

Woah! This is Liz Buchanan we're talking about here, not some bounty hunting bimbo!

0:23:440:23:48

And trust me, I know the difference!

0:23:480:23:50

Then why didn't she marry him years ago? Why wait till now?

0:23:500:23:52

I don't know.

0:23:520:23:54

Because if he dies and they're not married she's got exactly

0:23:540:23:57

what she had before she met him - which is nothing!

0:23:570:23:59

This way she gets the house, the works.

0:23:590:24:01

The house, by the way, which is Stuart's inheritance

0:24:010:24:04

as well as mine! I bet you hadn't thought of that.

0:24:040:24:07

No! I hadn't actually!

0:24:070:24:08

Because it's your dad's money and he can do what he likes with it!

0:24:080:24:12

He doesn't know what he wants! How can he?

0:24:120:24:14

He doesn't even know where he keeps his socks!

0:24:140:24:17

He doesn't know who he's marrying!

0:24:170:24:18

Right, you listen to me.

0:24:200:24:22

I know this is going to be tough.

0:24:220:24:25

And I wouldn't wish it on anyone, far less you.

0:24:250:24:27

But I know one thing sure...

0:24:270:24:29

..Malcolm knows exactly who Liz is

0:24:300:24:33

and why he's marrying her. And as for all this other stuff,

0:24:330:24:36

if your dad's mind wasn't sound enough to make these decisions

0:24:360:24:39

the doctor would never have let him.

0:24:390:24:41

Am I really the only one around here that cares about him?

0:24:430:24:47

You really care?

0:24:470:24:48

Then let him have a day to remember.

0:24:480:24:51

He might not have that many more.

0:24:530:24:55

Hey! Excuse me!

0:25:080:25:10

Eileen. Everything all right?

0:25:100:25:12

-I was given this today.

-Right...?

-I take it you were involved.

0:25:120:25:15

I'm your dad's GP. It was a formality. They had to make sure he was of sound mind.

0:25:150:25:19

And you told them he was.

0:25:190:25:21

Malcolm has memory problems but he's still capable of making decisions.

0:25:210:25:24

And that's your professional opinion, is it?

0:25:240:25:28

This morning he got my mum and Liz mixed up in his vows. That says to me he doesn't know what's going on.

0:25:280:25:32

Eileen, this is all part of your Dad's illness. Forgetting names is common in dementia

0:25:320:25:36

but he's still in the early stages.

0:25:360:25:38

Look, there may be times when he seems more confused

0:25:380:25:41

and unfortunately this will become more frequent

0:25:410:25:43

but he still has more good days than bad days, don't you think?

0:25:430:25:46

I think it's really easy for you to stand there and pontificate

0:25:460:25:49

when you don't have the first clue idea this is doing to my family.

0:25:490:25:52

-Listen...

-No, you listen. I'm going to challenge this

0:25:520:25:54

and I'm going to take it all the way if I have to.

0:25:540:25:56

And by the time I'm finished, your professional opinion won't be worth that.

0:25:560:26:00

Gina!

0:26:000:26:02

Have you spoken to them?

0:26:050:26:07

No, no, there's nobody home.

0:26:070:26:09

Liz must have gone off to the hairdressers already.

0:26:090:26:11

Right, well, there's Dad.

0:26:110:26:13

Probably best we get him on his own anyway.

0:26:130:26:15

Gonnae just let me, eh?

0:26:150:26:17

But...

0:26:170:26:18

Come on, Eileen. You've had your say.

0:26:180:26:20

I want to make up my own mind.

0:26:220:26:24

Look, why don't you go off to number 18, eh?

0:26:240:26:26

And nothing to Liz? Not until I've spoke to my dad.

0:26:260:26:29

Go on, eh?

0:26:290:26:30

Hi, Dad.

0:26:320:26:34

Hey.

0:26:360:26:37

Should you not be getting ready?

0:26:370:26:39

Probably. I needed to get out the house for a bit.

0:26:390:26:42

It's like a walk up the hills.

0:26:450:26:46

One minute it's clear, then the next the fog comes down

0:26:460:26:49

and everything's lost...

0:26:490:26:51

..including me.

0:26:520:26:54

Dad, see if you're confused about the wedding...

0:26:560:27:01

Why would I be?

0:27:020:27:04

Eileen mentioned there was some sort of mix up with the vows.

0:27:060:27:10

Oh, did she?

0:27:100:27:12

Dad, you're just making so many decisions right now.

0:27:140:27:17

Liz told me about the Power of Attorney

0:27:170:27:21

and you changing your Will. I just need to know...

0:27:210:27:24

Dad, I just want...

0:27:250:27:27

What, that I know what I'm doing?

0:27:270:27:28

You think I'm that bad?

0:27:280:27:30

No!

0:27:300:27:31

The reason I want to marry Liz is because she's got faith in me.

0:27:310:27:35

Which is more than I can say for you!

0:27:350:27:38

Come on, Dad!

0:27:380:27:39

I'm disappointed in you, Gina.

0:27:390:27:41

Now excuse me, I've got a wedding to get ready for.

0:27:410:27:44

There you go.

0:27:540:27:55

Oh, not for me, thanks. I'll just stick to the orange juice.

0:27:550:27:59

Probably best. You'll need to have all your faculties on your big day.

0:27:590:28:02

In fact, is it not a legal requirement?

0:28:020:28:05

Top me right up.

0:28:070:28:08

Now I was going to ask your opinion, dear.

0:28:080:28:12

I've got a last minute addition to my outfit.

0:28:120:28:15

And I was wondering, do you think I should dispense with the necklace?

0:28:160:28:19

Oh, that's gorgeous!

0:28:210:28:22

Thank you. I do rather like it.

0:28:220:28:24

But yeah, you probably don't need the necklace.

0:28:240:28:27

Where'd you get that?

0:28:270:28:28

Malcolm gave it to me.

0:28:280:28:30

You know, something borrowed.

0:28:300:28:33

It was your mum's, I believe.

0:28:330:28:35

Yes. Yes, it was.

0:28:350:28:37

You don't mind, do you? Only your dad was very insistent.

0:28:390:28:44

No, you go right ahead, Liz. Fill your boots.

0:28:440:28:47

Okey dokes. I'll just go and get your hairspray.

0:28:470:28:50

I don't know what's going on there but you cold cut it with a knife.

0:28:500:28:54

They were getting on fine last night.

0:28:540:28:56

Well, that's weddings for you. In fact that's "love" full stop.

0:28:560:28:59

Nothing but grief from beginning to end.

0:28:590:29:01

-There you go.

-Thank you, dear.

0:29:050:29:07

That's the fella to see Lenny.

0:29:130:29:15

Gimme two secs, then send him in.

0:29:150:29:17

KNOCK AT DOOR

0:29:240:29:26

Not who you were expecting, eh?

0:29:280:29:30

He's gonna need a cab.

0:29:360:29:38

Thanks. You look lovely, by the way.

0:29:390:29:42

It's very striking.

0:29:440:29:46

Does it match the dress, aye?

0:29:460:29:47

Unfortunately.

0:29:470:29:49

I'll show you out.

0:29:490:29:50

No, it's OK. I'm going to wait for Gina.

0:29:500:29:52

Sure. Make yourself at home.

0:29:520:29:54

She is such a nippy sweetie.

0:29:560:29:59

You waiting on a message?

0:29:590:30:00

-It's not coming.

-Something up?

0:30:000:30:02

-Sorry I'm late, guys.

-You're fine. Hayley's just finished with Eileen.

0:30:020:30:06

-Aye, take a pew.

-Give us a minute, eh?

-Sure.

0:30:060:30:10

-I have just spoke to my dad.

-And?

0:30:120:30:13

-He knows exactly what he's doing.

-But this morning...

0:30:130:30:16

Look, will you button it? Look, this wedding's happening.

0:30:160:30:20

So can you just drop it, and try and make it a nice day -

0:30:200:30:23

-for his sake?

-Everything I do is for his sake.

0:30:230:30:26

Say that often enough and I might just believe you.

0:30:260:30:29

Liz, you're looking lovely!

0:30:290:30:31

Oh, thank you!

0:30:310:30:32

-Cheers!

-I think this side is better, don't you?

-Definitely.

0:30:340:30:38

Good afternoon, sir. Your chariot awaits.

0:30:380:30:42

A Mercedes!

0:30:420:30:44

Let's not keep your chauffeur waiting.

0:30:450:30:48

Who did this? We're trying to save money.

0:30:480:30:51

It's a wee present from Gabriel.

0:30:510:30:54

You shouldn't have.

0:30:540:30:55

Honest, Malcolm. It was nothing. Come on, in you go.

0:30:550:30:58

Problem?

0:31:050:31:06

Nah. Sweet.

0:31:060:31:08

Well, thank you, Eileen but there was really no need to wait for me.

0:31:220:31:26

I wanted a quiet word.

0:31:260:31:28

Oh, yes?

0:31:280:31:30

Why are you doing this?

0:31:300:31:32

What?

0:31:320:31:33

Marrying my dad, after all this time?

0:31:330:31:37

I don't know, because he asked me.

0:31:400:31:43

And you saw an opportunity.

0:31:430:31:45

Sorry?

0:31:450:31:47

Well, this way you get everything, control over my dad,

0:31:470:31:51

and then all his money when he goes.

0:31:510:31:55

And you think that's why I'm doing this?

0:31:550:31:58

I'm trying to think of another reason but I'm coming up short.

0:31:580:32:01

Your father and I... we love each other.

0:32:010:32:06

I know this morning when I spoke to him he couldn't remember your name.

0:32:070:32:11

If you think that's a good start to a marriage then you just go right ahead.

0:32:110:32:15

But I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to walk away.

0:32:150:32:18

See you at the wedding...

0:32:180:32:20

or not.

0:32:200:32:22

-OK. Spill.

-What?

0:32:360:32:38

-You've been in a dwam all morning. Who is he?

-Who?

0:32:380:32:41

Aye, right. Don't come it.

0:32:410:32:43

The copper who worked on my assault.

0:32:450:32:48

And now you're seeing him?

0:32:480:32:50

For one night only. Now he doesn't want to know.

0:32:500:32:52

Why wouldn't he?

0:32:520:32:53

Oh, come on. Easy pickings.

0:32:530:32:55

If I'm stupid enough to get myself beaten up then I'm stupid enough

0:32:550:32:58

to sleep with somebody who only wants one thing.

0:32:580:33:01

Which, by the way, I'd normally be up for but...

0:33:010:33:05

-You really like him?

-I made such an idiot of myself.

0:33:050:33:07

There I was banging on about what he wanted for breakfast and whether

0:33:070:33:11

he likes brown or red sauce, I look up and he's walking out the door.

0:33:110:33:14

I felt like...

0:33:140:33:16

Gloria Gaynor?

0:33:160:33:17

But less assertive.

0:33:170:33:19

Do you want my advice? Play it cool.

0:33:190:33:21

What's for you'll not go by you.

0:33:210:33:23

Thanks, Gran.

0:33:230:33:25

Kelly-Marie, can I get another champagne, please?

0:33:250:33:28

Wow. Classy.

0:33:340:33:36

It's certainly some view.

0:33:360:33:38

Where's those damn vows?

0:33:380:33:40

You feeling OK, Malcolm?

0:33:400:33:42

Course I am!

0:33:420:33:44

-Oh, that's Eileen here already?

-Hi, Dad.

0:33:440:33:47

Eileen, I'll just go and say hello to the wee man.

0:33:470:33:50

-You made good time.

-Yeah, I got a cab.

0:33:510:33:54

I didn't want to be putting the buggy up and down in this dress.

0:33:540:33:57

Quite right too. You look lovely by the way.

0:33:570:33:59

You should wear that colour more often.

0:33:590:34:01

Shut up, Raymond.

0:34:010:34:03

Actually, Eileen, could we have a quick word about earlier?

0:34:030:34:06

I don't think this is the time or place.

0:34:060:34:08

Eileen! Can you give me a hand here?

0:34:090:34:12

SHE SOBS

0:34:210:34:22

DOOR OPENS

0:34:230:34:25

Sorry, I'm late.

0:34:250:34:27

Hayley kept faffing about with this blooming fascinator thingy.

0:34:270:34:30

Right, I'll go and get dressed. Gabriel will be...

0:34:300:34:33

Why you not dressed, Liz?

0:34:340:34:36

Liz?

0:34:410:34:43

Come on, read them. I don't want any mistakes.

0:34:560:34:59

Dad...

0:34:590:35:01

Whatever happened to just showing up and saying what the minister says?

0:35:010:35:05

It's all so complicated.

0:35:060:35:08

Dad, you don't have to do this.

0:35:080:35:10

No, no. Liz wanted us to write our own vows

0:35:100:35:14

and what Liz wants, Liz gets.

0:35:140:35:17

Doesn't mean she always has to get it her own way.

0:35:170:35:19

Ach, it's fine. I want to make her happy.

0:35:190:35:22

I want to make you all happy.

0:35:240:35:26

BAGPIPES PLAY

0:35:260:35:27

Fat chance of that happening.

0:35:270:35:29

How do you mean?

0:35:290:35:31

Ach, Gina was asking questions this morning.

0:35:310:35:33

Is that how it's going to be from now on?

0:35:330:35:35

Nobody trusting my judgment?

0:35:350:35:38

Hey, come on. Read the vows.

0:35:390:35:42

Are they all right?

0:35:490:35:51

They're perfect.

0:35:530:35:55

Ah, good.

0:35:550:35:56

Now all we need's the bride.

0:36:000:36:03

KNOCK AT DOOR

0:36:170:36:19

One chicken mayo and a bag of cheese and onion.

0:36:230:36:25

You're a star.

0:36:250:36:26

I tried to talk to your husband about his weight this morning.

0:36:260:36:30

He didn't want to engage.

0:36:300:36:32

He's a bit sensitive about it.

0:36:340:36:36

It's personal... Embarrassing.

0:36:360:36:40

Clearly. But until he does something about it,

0:36:400:36:43

it's always going to be the elephant in the room.

0:36:430:36:46

Literally.

0:36:460:36:48

You think that's funny?

0:36:480:36:49

Not at all. Morbid obesity isn't remotely amusing.

0:36:490:36:52

I'd have thought as a health professional you'd be aware of that.

0:36:520:36:55

Of course I am.

0:36:550:36:57

And yet you married a man who's a walking heart attack?

0:36:570:37:01

Was there anything else?

0:37:010:37:02

Talk to him... before it's too late.

0:37:020:37:06

Or if you find the prospect of your husband's imminent demise

0:37:060:37:10

too embarrassing, send him back to me and I'll sort him out.

0:37:100:37:15

Any sign?

0:37:350:37:37

Not yet. I'll try Gabriel again.

0:37:370:37:39

Thanks.

0:37:390:37:41

I might have been a bit sharp with you earlier.

0:37:420:37:46

It's OK. I know it must be hard.

0:37:460:37:49

But if you're not coping...

0:37:490:37:50

I am.

0:37:500:37:53

I just want to do the right thing by Dad.

0:37:530:37:55

Is that so hard to understand?

0:37:550:37:57

Not at all.

0:37:570:38:00

It's just if you're too close to a situation,

0:38:000:38:02

it's hard to know what the right thing is.

0:38:020:38:05

Let me see if I can find out what's happening.

0:38:070:38:10

Well, just a little longer.

0:38:180:38:20

Thanks.

0:38:200:38:21

Any joy?

0:38:210:38:23

Still no answer. What do we do?

0:38:230:38:25

I dunno. But there's another wedding booked at three.

0:38:250:38:28

She's not coming, is she?

0:38:280:38:29

Was it something I said?

0:38:290:38:31

Did I do something wrong that I can't remember?

0:38:310:38:35

This damned thing! It's ruined everything!

0:38:350:38:38

No, Dad. This isn't your fault.

0:38:380:38:40

I shouldn't have pushed this wedding business.

0:38:400:38:43

Even if she doesn't show up, it needn't be the end of the world.

0:38:430:38:46

How can you say that?

0:38:460:38:48

That woman's the only thing that's been keeping me going.

0:38:480:38:50

-We're here.

-Is Liz with you?

0:38:530:38:56

Course, Dad. Where else would she be?

0:38:560:38:58

Oh, thank God for that.

0:38:580:38:59

Come on, Malcolm. Let's get this show on the road.

0:38:590:39:01

What were you thinking of?

0:39:030:39:05

-I just...

-Och, save it.

0:39:050:39:08

You all set?

0:39:120:39:14

Ready as I'll ever be.

0:39:140:39:15

Look, Malcolm. I'll do the honours.

0:39:180:39:20

Where's Eileen?

0:39:200:39:23

Don't worry about that.

0:39:230:39:25

-Where have you been?

-Doesn't matter. I'm here now.

0:39:250:39:29

MUSIC: Trumpet Voluntary by Jeremiah Clarke

0:39:360:39:38

Please be seated.

0:40:000:40:02

If anyone knows of any reason why these two

0:40:070:40:12

cannot be joined in matrimony, please speak now.

0:40:120:40:15

Doubt thou the stars are fire

0:40:190:40:24

Doubt that the sun doth move

0:40:240:40:28

Doubt truth to be a liar

0:40:280:40:31

But...never doubt...I love.

0:40:310:40:39

Thank you, Elizabeth. Now, Malcolm, your vows?

0:40:410:40:48

I...M-Malcolm...Hamilton...

0:41:010:41:07

Could he just do the regular vows when he repeats after you?

0:41:120:41:17

-Of course.

-No. No, I'll be fine, I'll be fine.

0:41:170:41:19

I, Malcolm Hamilton...

0:41:210:41:25

t-t-take...

0:41:250:41:27

..ta...

0:41:300:41:31

HE SIGHS

0:41:310:41:33

Look at me, Malcolm.

0:41:330:41:34

..take you, Elizabeth Buchanan, to be my lawful wedded wife.

0:41:450:41:49

Ach, I've never needed a piece of paper to tell me how I feel.

0:41:540:41:58

I'm not going to start now.

0:41:580:42:01

LAUGHTER

0:42:010:42:03

My mind may be playing up but my heart's as strong as ever.

0:42:040:42:10

And I love you with my whole heart.

0:42:110:42:13

I can't promise you the moon and the stars

0:42:140:42:18

but I can promise you more of all that good stuff

0:42:180:42:21

we've had from the moment we met -

0:42:210:42:24

the love, the companionship,

0:42:240:42:27

lots of right good laughs,

0:42:270:42:30

and plenty of arguments over the crossword.

0:42:300:42:33

LAUGHTER

0:42:330:42:35

Uh-huh.

0:42:420:42:44

Oh, Malcolm.

0:42:510:42:53

I mean we don't know what's coming tomorrow but who does?

0:42:550:42:58

But hang it all. Let's face the music and dance!

0:42:580:43:03

LAUGHTER

0:43:030:43:05

Malcolm and Elizabeth, I now pronounce you man and wife.

0:43:050:43:09

Malcolm, you may continue to kiss the bride.

0:43:100:43:13

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:130:43:16

All right, everyone, here they come.

0:43:250:43:28

Quick, quick - confetti at the ready!

0:43:280:43:31

Is this the happy couple?

0:43:310:43:33

Yeah, but at their age what's the point?

0:43:330:43:37

Hope springs eternal.

0:43:370:43:39

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:390:43:41

PHONE RINGS And he wonders why he got jumped?

0:43:460:43:49

-Talk to her. Don't let it spoil the day.

-Liz?

0:43:520:43:55

Not now, thank you.

0:43:550:43:58

-Aw, they look so happy.

-I know. I love a wedding.

0:44:020:44:06

My one night stand. 12 o'clock.

0:44:060:44:09

-Is that him?

-Aye.

-He is FIT.

-You mean out of my league?

0:44:090:44:13

Don't be daft. You're a catch.

0:44:130:44:16

-Did he just totally blank you?

-He's on duty.

0:44:180:44:20

If you say so.

0:44:200:44:22

Come on, let's just get inside.

0:44:220:44:24

THEY CHAT AMONGST THEMSELVES

0:44:280:44:30

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:44:380:44:40

Thanks, everybody.

0:44:440:44:46

It's been a long day so, if you don't mind,

0:44:460:44:49

Liz and I have asked Eileen to say a few words on our behalf.

0:44:490:44:52

She's an old hand at this public speaking.

0:44:520:44:56

So let's hear it for my beautiful daughter, Eileen.

0:44:560:44:59

APPLAUSE

0:44:590:45:01

What is she wearing?

0:45:010:45:03

They had a carpet that colour in the hospital.

0:45:030:45:07

Very absorbent, didn't show the vomit.

0:45:070:45:09

Right, well, f-first of all, I'd like to thank you all for coming.

0:45:090:45:13

For being here. It means a lot to my dad...and Liz.

0:45:130:45:16

Erm...and I'd like to take this opportunity

0:45:160:45:21

to formally welcome Liz into the family.

0:45:210:45:25

It's clear how happy she's makes my dad.

0:45:250:45:29

Erm...

0:45:290:45:31

and...

0:45:310:45:33

And to us, his family...

0:45:330:45:37

..erm, his happiness is everything...

0:45:410:45:45

Oh, erm...

0:45:470:45:48

So, everyone, Liz and Malcolm, eh?

0:45:520:45:55

THEY TOAST: Liz and Malcolm.

0:45:550:45:57

That was great. Short but sweet.

0:46:040:46:06

I'll just go and refresh my glass.

0:46:120:46:14

No, let me get it for you.

0:46:140:46:17

You stay and have a chat with Eileen.

0:46:170:46:19

I'll give you a hand, Dad.

0:46:190:46:20

Excuse me, I have guests to attend to.

0:46:250:46:28

It's done now. Can we just move on?

0:46:300:46:33

Eileen...I am choosing to believe

0:46:350:46:40

that you spoke out of... misplaced concern for your father

0:46:400:46:46

and not from any genuine suspicion of me.

0:46:460:46:50

Let's just leave it at that, shall we?

0:46:530:46:55

I just want what's best for him.

0:46:570:46:58

Oh! Well, why can't you accept that what's best for him

0:46:580:47:03

might just be me?

0:47:030:47:05

-I just wanted to say thank you. It's lovely.

-Don't be daft.

0:47:140:47:19

What's all this? The vegetable stall gone into liquidation?

0:47:220:47:27

I want to make Bob something healthy for his dinner tonight.

0:47:270:47:30

Aye, well, you've missed the boat. I've made him a nice pie and chips.

0:47:300:47:33

Did I just hear the magic words?

0:47:330:47:36

Yes, a lovely homemade steak pie, son. Your favourite.

0:47:360:47:39

Ya dancer!

0:47:390:47:41

But not very healthy.

0:47:410:47:44

There's onions in that pie! They're vegetables!

0:47:440:47:47

And you wonder why you can't lose weight?

0:47:470:47:49

-Ach, leave the boy alone. On you go, son.

-No!

0:47:490:47:52

This isn't right.

0:47:520:47:54

I know you cook him these things out of love but this food...

0:47:540:47:58

it's not good for him.

0:47:580:48:00

Can we just enjoy our dinner?

0:48:000:48:02

No. We have to be honest about this.

0:48:020:48:05

-You've got a problem.

-Ha! Honest, she says!

0:48:050:48:08

-The one that wouldn't know the truth if it hit her in the face!

-Steady, Ma.

0:48:080:48:12

No, I'm not taking this.

0:48:120:48:14

Her standing in my kitchen criticising my cooking,

0:48:140:48:17

criticising my boy.

0:48:170:48:18

-I'm trying to help him.

-By slagging him off?

0:48:180:48:20

Making him feel bad about himself? He can't help the way he is.

0:48:200:48:24

Yes, he can!

0:48:240:48:26

And not talking about it isn't going to make it go away

0:48:260:48:29

because it's there for everyone to see!

0:48:290:48:31

Look at him.

0:48:310:48:33

He's a mess.

0:48:340:48:35

I'm need to be somewhere else.

0:48:410:48:43

Bob, please.

0:48:440:48:47

-DOOR SLAMS

-Happy now?

0:48:470:48:50

Oh, my God.

0:49:000:49:01

It is exactly the same dress as Eileen's, isn't it?

0:49:010:49:03

I thought it was but then I was like "No way!" cos that would just be...

0:49:030:49:08

What?

0:49:080:49:11

Amazing.

0:49:110:49:12

(That they made two of them.)

0:49:120:49:15

Nice speech.

0:49:240:49:25

I could have said more.

0:49:250:49:27

Well, I'm glad you didn't.

0:49:270:49:28

Look, can we just put all this behind us, now?

0:49:280:49:32

I don't think so.

0:49:320:49:33

Eileen, you practically walked him up the aisle.

0:49:350:49:38

What choice did I have?

0:49:380:49:39

I'm still going to challenge the power of attorney.

0:49:390:49:43

You know what, you're unbelievable.

0:49:430:49:44

I promised my dad that I would look after him

0:49:440:49:47

and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

0:49:470:49:49

I'm going to be all over the new Mrs Hamilton like a rash.

0:49:490:49:53

She makes one false move...

0:49:530:49:55

Gina, Eileen. I want a picture of my best girls.

0:49:550:49:59

There we go. Big smiles.

0:50:020:50:04

All the Hamilton girls together, eh?

0:50:090:50:12

Here...where'd you get that?

0:50:140:50:18

What?

0:50:190:50:21

The brooch.

0:50:210:50:22

Dad, it's Mum's.

0:50:230:50:25

That's what I was saying - it's Rose's. Take it off!

0:50:260:50:28

I'll handle this. Dad, you lent that brooch to Liz.

0:50:280:50:32

I did no such thing.

0:50:330:50:35

Eileen, let me.

0:50:350:50:36

Where did you find it? I've put it away safe.

0:50:360:50:38

You're quite right, Malcolm. I don't know what I was thinking.

0:50:380:50:42

Here. You take it back.

0:50:430:50:46

-OK, there we are.

-Thanks.

0:50:460:50:50

Now, can I get you a fresh cup of tea?

0:50:500:50:54

Or would you rather come home?

0:50:540:50:56

Tea. Tea would be nice.

0:50:560:50:58

Right, Dad, let's go get you some tea then, eh?

0:50:580:51:01

You happy now?

0:51:080:51:09

We all right here?

0:51:120:51:13

Robbie?

0:51:300:51:31

I've been trying to get a hold of you.

0:51:310:51:33

-I've been busy.

-You got a minute?

0:51:330:51:35

Don't just stand there. Get stuck in.

0:51:440:51:47

Bob?

0:51:520:51:54

I'm so sorry.

0:51:540:51:56

It's all right. Water off a duck's back.

0:51:570:51:59

Let's go home. We can talk.

0:52:010:52:03

I need to pass on my congratulations to the bride and groom but I'll get you back there.

0:52:050:52:10

You know what I said - it's only because I love you.

0:52:100:52:15

Of course. Go on. Beat it.

0:52:160:52:18

Hey-ey. Where's Liz got to?

0:52:240:52:26

Er...think she went out for some fresh air.

0:52:260:52:29

I want to show her this picture - it's a cracker, eh?

0:52:290:52:32

D'you think we could get that framed for the mantelpiece?

0:52:320:52:34

I'm sure we could, Dad.

0:52:340:52:36

Hey. It's been some day, eh?

0:52:360:52:40

Yeah, Dad, it certainly has.

0:52:400:52:42

Are you planning on coming back down any time soon?

0:52:510:52:55

What was she doing wearing my mum's brooch?

0:52:550:52:57

She knows he gets confused

0:52:570:52:59

but, oh no, she just batters on in there - "He's fine, he's fine."

0:52:590:53:02

Fine to be sent him on some ridiculous stag do!

0:53:020:53:05

Fine to sign away his house, sign away his life like it's all normal.

0:53:050:53:08

-But it's not normal, is it? He's losing it!

-You think she doesn't KNOW that?

0:53:080:53:12

She lives with the man!

0:53:120:53:13

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe,

0:53:160:53:22

Malcolm wants to be with Liz because she makes him feel NORMAL?

0:53:220:53:27

It's NOT normal to leave a baby on the Underground.

0:53:270:53:30

It's NOT normal to forget the name of the woman you're going to marry!

0:53:300:53:33

Maybe not... but it's the new normal for Malcolm.

0:53:330:53:38

And I'm sorry but you're going to have to get used to that...

0:53:380:53:42

because there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

0:53:420:53:45

Now, I'm going back down there to celebrate your dad's wedding.

0:53:510:53:58

You can take part or not.

0:54:000:54:01

But you really need to remember this.

0:54:030:54:06

It's not Liz that's taking your dad away. It's his illness.

0:54:070:54:12

And it's taking him away from her too.

0:54:140:54:17

You didn't answer my texts.

0:54:440:54:46

You blanked me in the street.

0:54:460:54:48

I was working.

0:54:480:54:50

I'm sorry.

0:54:530:54:54

-Look, I don't want to mess you around, I just...

-But?

0:54:570:55:01

What?

0:55:020:55:05

There's always a but.

0:55:050:55:07

What if there isn't?

0:55:070:55:08

I just want to go slow.

0:55:120:55:15

OK. That's not a but.

0:55:150:55:17

And...I need you to calm down when we're out.

0:55:200:55:24

I don't do that whole camp thing.

0:55:240:55:26

Hey, I'm loud and proud.

0:55:260:55:28

They're not the same thing.

0:55:280:55:30

But they're me.

0:55:300:55:32

Well, they don't have to be.

0:55:320:55:34

Right, so we're good to go

0:55:340:55:36

as long as I completely change my entire personality?

0:55:360:55:40

Oh, come on, Robbie, that's not you. All that stuff.

0:55:400:55:44

It's just a defence mechanism.

0:55:450:55:47

Look, I'd love to make out that I'm all deep and meaningful

0:55:480:55:51

but, honestly, I'm as shallow as puddle.

0:55:510:55:54

No, you're not. I wouldn't want to be with you if you were.

0:55:560:55:59

OK.

0:56:020:56:03

So...

0:56:040:56:05

..we on or what?

0:56:070:56:09

You're back.

0:56:180:56:20

Christina has found some good holidays.

0:56:220:56:25

Good.

0:56:260:56:28

Come and look.

0:56:280:56:29

I'm wiped out. I'll maybe see them tomorrow, eh?

0:56:310:56:34

You... You don't have to change for me.

0:56:390:56:42

Don't I?

0:56:440:56:45

-Spare any change?

-Move yourself.

-I'm not doing anything illegal.

0:58:050:58:08

Somewhere else you need to be, nurse?

0:58:080:58:10

-Something's come up.

-Well then, don't let us keep you.

0:58:100:58:13

The victim's female, late teens/early 20s, strangled.

0:58:130:58:17

Possibly a sex worker, given her clothing and the location.

0:58:170:58:20

You should report them, whoever's doing this to you.

0:58:200:58:23

Back off, all right.

0:58:230:58:25

As you seem incapable of fulfilling your duties here,

0:58:250:58:28

I think it might be best if you just went home.

0:58:280:58:31

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0:58:440:58:47

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