Episode 20 Beat the Brain

Hello, it's Brain here.

I've created some real mind teasers for our team today.

Here's a couple for you to try.

Here's another one - Catch Me If You Can.

What number plate do you see?

I'll give you the answers at the end of the show.

Now let's see whether our team today has what it takes to Beat The Brain.

Please welcome the man with all the answers -

broadcasting legend John Craven.

Well, thank you and now strap yourselves in for a half-hour

mental workout that will test the quality of your mind,

not the quality of your general knowledge.

Let's say hello first of all to The Brain behind the games.

-How are you today, Brain?

-I'm very, very well.

Excited to be here, John,

and may I say you look wonderful in bottle green?

I want to drink from you.

Well, in a flirtatious mood today obviously.

Let's see how our team copes with that.

Please introduce yourselves.

Hello, I'm John and I've been a London cabbie for 16 years.

Hi, I'm also a John and I've been a cabbie for 13 years.

I'm Marvin, I've been a London taxi driver for 16 years.

I'm Tony, I'm the team captain,

and I've been driving a cab for 34 years.

-APPLAUSE

-So, a quartet of cabbies.

Thanks for switching off the meter for half-an-hour.

That's what he thinks.

Now, have you chosen a name for your team?

Yeah, we're going to be Streets Ahead.

You cabbies obviously do think you're streets ahead of anybody else.

-Absolutely.

-Now you've got to prove that against The Brain.

So the best of luck, everybody.

Well, this is how it works.

The show's Brain is divided into six Zones.

Now, The Brain will select four of those six Zones

for you to play today.

And, Tony, as captain, you've got to nominate which team member

you think will perform best in each Zone, OK?

You're playing for time instead of points,

with every correct answer adding three seconds to your total,

what we call your Brain Bank.

The more time you build up, the more chances you have of

beating The Brain in today's final

and walking away with today's jackpot of £3,000.

So, Streets Ahead, are you ready to play?

ALL: Yes.

Let's get going.

Time to find out which Zone you'll be facing first.

So, Brain, a Zone, please.

Logic. Tony, who are you going to choose to play the Logic Zone?

Well, this was a slightly tricky one, so what I think we need is a

big brain on this one, so we're going to have the boy Marvin.

Right, well, come and join me, Marvin.

APPLAUSE

-Nice to see you.

-And you, John.

And what did you do before you were a cabbie?

I was in banking before I became a cabbie.

-That's quite a change, isn't it?

-Yeah, drastic change.

And what do you do when you're not driving a cab?

I'm an Arsenal season ticket holder and I love American football,

so I'm a big Dallas Cowboys fan.

-Do you ever go see them play?

-Once a year, yeah.

Take a trip out to the States and watch them play.

How do they compare with Arsenal?

Er... As bad as each other.

Right, OK, Marvin, you're going to play two games in this Zone.

Both games have three questions worth three seconds each.

-So, Brain, what's the first game?

-Hello, Marvin.

So you think your brain's as big as mine, do you? Let's see, shall we?

We shall.

Your first game is called...

You must pick up the sticks in the correct order from top to bottom.

To help you, have a trial run.

Which colour comes top and which is bottom? Go down.

OK, John,

I will say white, blue, red,

yellow, green, black.

Right.

So, white, blue, red, yellow, green, black.

You're absolutely correct.

Right, OK, Brain, please may we play the game?

Marvin, you have 45 seconds to answer three questions correctly.

But, please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Each correct answer will add three seconds to your Brain Bank.

Your game starts now.

Red, green, black,

white, yellow, blue.

Let's see if you right.

That's correct. Yes, it is.

So you've got 33 seconds left.

Next one, please.

Blue, green, black,

white, red, yellow.

Let's see if that's correct.

Yes, it is. Well done.

Next one, please.

Green, blue...

..yellow...

..white...

Oh, I'm afraid you're out of time. Out of time, I'm sorry.

Oh, dear. Let's see what it was.

-Just a bit too slow.

-You almost got there, didn't you?

-Almost.

Never mind. You were beaten by the clock on that one.

So, what did you think, Brain?

Well, I think he's probably better at picking up passengers, don't you?

Could we have game number two, please?

Marvin, here's your second game.

Identify the phrase or saying from the cryptic visual puzzle.

To get your eye in, Marvin, have a trial run.

So what do you think is there, Marvin?

What phrase does that make?

-That makes Bottoms up, John.

-Bottoms up.

It's upside down. So, bottoms up, let's see if you're right.

You are indeed. So, you've obviously got this game very clearly.

Let's hope so, John.

-So, Brain, let's play the real thing.

-Very well.

Now, Marvin, you have as many guesses as you like on this game,

but I will not move onto the next question until you give me

the right answer or pass.

You have 45 seconds to answer three questions.

Your game starts now.

So talk me through these, what do you see?

-Five Ts with a green T in the middle.

-And an arrow.

What does that tell you?

-Green tea?

-Uh-huh.

Green tea is right, yeah.

30 seconds left.

Through and thin.

Through thick and thin?

Through thick and thin, let's see if that's right.

It is indeed. 20 seconds left.

Ounce, kilo, tonne.

Middleweight.

Middleweight.

You're absolutely right.

That was a splendid little round for you there, Marvin.

You were a big brain on that one. Wasn't he, Brain?

Yes, very big, but not quite as big as me.

Marvin, congratulations.

-Thank you, Brain.

-You know what?

You added 15 seconds in that Zone

and that means you have a total of 15 seconds in your Brain Bank.

Well done. APPLAUSE

-Well done, Marvin. Lovely to see you.

-Thank you, John.

Back to the rank.

So, time to find out which Zone we're going to next

and who is going to take it on.

Brain, a Zone, please.

Orientation it is. So, Tony, who are you picking for Orientation?

Well, what I've did, I've brought my dad along and this is his game.

-Go on, John, up you go, mate.

-So, John, come on over, join me.

APPLAUSE

-How are you today?

-I'm good, I'm good, thank you.

-You've been a cabbie for a long time now.

-13 years, not very long, yeah.

-What did you do before that?

-I used to run a haulage company in Belgium.

Ah, so still involved with driving then?

Yeah, it's always been transport.

And how do you think you'll do with Orientation?

HE LAUGHS

Yeah, I've done it once...

and I got lost.

-Well, let's hope you don't get lost this time.

-I'll do my best.

So, Brain, what's the first game?

-Hello, John F.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-I noticed you're not wearing a watch.

I hope that's not going to be a problem.

No, it irritates my wrist, so I can't wear watches.

-Stop talking.

-Sorry.

This is your first game. It's called...

John F, what is the real time?

To give you some practice, have a trial run.

So that's the mirror image, what's the real time?

You see why she mentioned the watch now?

8:20, sorry.

8:20, you're saying.

Yep, you're absolutely right. Obviously a clock watcher.

OK, Brain, let's play the game.

John F, you have a maximum of 45 seconds to answer these questions.

And remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

What's the real time?

3:45.

3:45.

-No.

-No. 8:15.

And the clock's ticking away.

What's the mirror image real time there?

4:25.

4:25, you think. Let's see.

Yeah, absolutely right there.

You've got 25 seconds left.

What's the time here?

-10 to one.

-10 to one. Let's see if that's correct.

You're absolutely right and you had some time left, so well done.

So, Brain, how did you rate John's performance there?

Well, he did have a little stumble but, as Meatloaf would say,

"Two out of three ain't bad."

-No. Please could we having game two?

-Of course, John.

Now here's something you really should be good at, John F.

Your second game...

Follow the car's journey

and work out which direction it's facing at the finish.

-No pressure.

-Oh, no.

Have a trial run.

Turn right.

U-turn.

Turn left.

So which direction is it heading in eventually?

-South.

-South.

I'll see if you're right.

You are indeed.

-Do you use a sat nav when you're driving the cab?

-No.

-Professional misconduct that is.

-Is it really?

-You did the knowledge then, did you?

-Yes, sir.

So, let's see how you do on our sat nav then.

Brain, we're ready to play.

-Please remember, John F, I can only accept your first answer.

-OK.

Your game starts now.

Turn right.

Turn left.

Turn right.

So, which direction now?

Turn left and then turn right.

Sorry, did it say turn left, turn right?

It did, didn't it?

-I can't help you, I'm afraid.

-Sorry.

-What are you going to say?

-North.

North, let's see if you're right.

East, I'm afraid.

So, let's have the next one please, Brain.

Embarrassing, this.

Turn left.

Turn right.

Turn right.

Turn left.

-East.

-East, you're thinking.

You're heading east.

No, you were heading north.

No-one will be getting in my cab, will they?

They are hard these, I find these hard as well,

so off we go with the final one.

U-turn

U-turn.

Turn right.

U-turn.

-East.

-East.

Let's see if that's correct.

It's west. Oh, well, you don't need a sat nav anyway, do you?

-No.

-You find your way all around London,

even if you can't find your way round our board.

Yeah, but it's...

-So, what do you think, Brain?

-Well, I think it's probably much easier

when you're behind the wheel and I'd gladly get into your cab, John F.

-Do they have seatbelts for brains?

-Oh, yes,

-we've got seatbelts for brains.

-Oh, good.

John, you added six seconds in that Zone

and that means Streets Ahead now have 21 seconds in their Brain Bank.

-APPLAUSE

-So, hope you enjoyed playing anyway.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much, John.

So here we are, two down and two more contestants now

are champing at the bit to take on the chance of beating The Brain,

so let's find out which Zone is next and who is going to take it on.

Brain, a Zone, please.

Well, Tony, who is going to be playing against The Brain

when it comes to Language?

What I've decided, because John O lives so far south

he almost speaks French, that we're going to pick John for this one.

Right, well, John, come and join me.

APPLAUSE

-Are you good at language?

-I'm OK. I can get by.

The Brain's version of language may not be what

-you think of as language.

-Yeah, that's what I'm worried about.

So we'll have to wait and see about that.

Have you had any famous people in your cab?

Yeah, I've had one or two over the years, John.

I mean, I'm still waiting for the big one,

obviously the Craven hasn't arrived yet.

Yeah, Jeremy Clarkson.

-Jeremy Clarkson?

-Yeah.

-Were you a bit apprehensive?

Yes, a little bit.

I was just a bit worried about my driving,

in case I was going a bit too slow, if anything.

-Did he make any comment?

-No, he didn't. Thankfully, no.

And you managed to get into the right place?

Yeah, and he gave me some money, which was a bonus.

Well, let's see how you do in the Language Zone, John.

Brain, let's have a game.

-Bonjour, John O.

-Hello, Brain. Bonjour.

Well done, that's a start.

Do I detect a little trace of sweat on those brows? Are you nervous?

-No, not me.

-Don't be nervous, my darling, be very nervous. Here we go.

Here's your first game.

All you have to do is rearrange the newspaper cuttings to form a word.

Why don't I give you warm up with a trial run?

What word does that make up, those three bits?

-What do you guess?

-Argument.

-Argument.

Let's see if you're correct.

You are indeed. Well done. So, that's how the game plays.

Little bits of words making up a big word. OK, you happy with it?

-Yep, let's do it.

-Brain, bring on the game.

You can have as many guesses as you like, John O, but I will not

move onto the next question until you give me the correct answer or pass.

You have 45 seconds to answer three questions.

Your game starts now.

What word is made up of those three bits?

So I've got, AL, NA, TUR.

Going to pass?

Pass.

Natural. Right. Next one, please.

-Bouncer.

-Bouncer. Let's see, is that right?

Yes, you are. And you've got 17 seconds left. One more.

What have we got?

-Butterfly, butterfly!

-Out of time, I'm afraid.

-Ah!

-You get it?

Butterfly. Sting like a bee.

Well, Brain, what about that?

Well, he wasn't a natural at that game, was he?

-No, I think you beat him on that one, didn't you?

-I certainly did.

Yeah, so never mind, John.

Let's hope you do better at the next Language game.

Let's see, please can we play the game?

Here's the second game...

Find the hidden word using the sentence as your clue.

Here's a trial run for you, John O.

So there's a word hidden somewhere in there

and it could be letters linking words.

-So, aquatic animal.

-I think that is seal, John.

Let's have a look and see if you're correct.

Seal, yeah. Right, OK, Brain, let's play for real.

You can have as many guesses as you like, John O, but I will not

move on to the next question until you give me the correct answer or pass.

You have 45 seconds to answer three questions.

Your game starts now.

Find the hidden word there then.

-Mouse, John.

-Mouse.

Yeah, across the words. Good.

Next one.

23 seconds.

Pass.

Pass on that one.

It is Delhi.

Right, here's the last one.

Five seconds left. What can you see there?

I'm looking for an earthquake, but I can't see it.

-Time's up, I'm afraid.

-Flood.

-Drought.

-Drought, you see. That was a difficult one, I thought.

A bit of a natural disaster in my brain I think there, John.

But we do say, on this show,

it's different brains for different games. Don't we, Brain?

I suppose we do, Mr Craven.

But, John O, you sort of dried up there, didn't you?

-Rather like a drought.

-Yeah, absolutely.

Not that I want to rub it in, my darling, but I'm going to.

John O, you added six seconds in that Zone.

That means, in total,

Streets Ahead have 27 seconds in their Brain Bank.

APPLAUSE

Captain Tony, you're our final player,

so why don't you come and swap places with John O here

and we'll find out which Zone you'll be playing?

-Nice to see you, John.

-How do you think so far about your team?

Well, I think they've been remarkable.

Well, apart from John - he was useless.

And tell me about yourself.

What's your ambition in life?

Well, what I want to do is I want to drive a cab till I'm 92.

Well, it was an ambition, now it's an necessity really.

-Is there an age limit on how old you can be?

-Not that I know of.

I think as long as you just see the end of the bonnet you've got half a chance.

We've got three Zones remaining now.

Let's get down to business, Tony.

Multitasking, Memory and Observation.

Now, which of those three would you hope to come up now for you?

I think the Multitasking, I don't multitask, I'm just single-minded.

So either of the other two, I might have half a chance.

OK, let's see, Brain, which Zone is going to come up.

-Brain, over to you.

-Hello, Tony.

-Oh, hello there, all right?

I'd love to run my fingers through you're hair,

but I'm a brain so I can't.

Anyway, this should be right up your street, as they say.

Here's your first game.

Tony, tell me which number plate you saw.

Have yourself a trial run.

Which of those six was the one on the car?

VG24... 24...

Number two.

Number two. Let's have a look and see if that's right. WFS.

No, it was WFD.

I got the VG24.

-Yeah, so you've got to be really observant on this one.

-Right, OK.

-So you've got the hang of it?

-Yeah.

Right, let's play the game please, Brain.

Please remember, Tony, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

What was that one?

It's JU77 KXR. Number one.

Number one.

Let's see if that's correct. It was indeed, yeah.

OK, next one, please.

CN30. That was number two, I think.

Number two you think. Was that correct?

It was indeed. You're doing well here.

Third one coming up.

It's going away.

WCG...

-I think it's number four.

-Number four, you think.

WCG. Let's see if you're right.

And you are indeed.

Yeah, well done on that one. You obviously know your number plates.

Yes, I was close to that last one, I nearly hit him up the back.

Well, Brain, please, let's have the next game.

Here's the second game then.

Tell me the order the balloons pop.

To help you out, have a trial run.

-So what was that?

-That was the blue one, yellow and purple.

Blue, yellow and purple, you're saying. Let's see if that's correct.

It is indeed. OK, let's play the game, please.

Please remember, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

That was purple, red, yellow.

Purple, red, yellow, you're saying.

Is that correct?

Yes. Next please.

Was that red, blue, purple?

Red, blue, purple, you're saying.

Absolutely correct, you're good on banging balloons.

Off we go with the final one.

Red, yellow, blue and purple.

Red, yellow, blue and purple.

Absolutely correct. You're playing well, captain.

-I've no idea what happened there.

-A formidable game.

So, what do you think of that, Brain?

I thought he was excellent.

Very well done, Tony.

You have managed to add 18 seconds in that Zone

and this means that, Streets Ahead, you have finished

with a grand total of 45 seconds in your Brain Bank.

Congratulations there, Tony. A captain's performance.

That was brilliant, thank you very much indeed.

Please go and join your team.

-APPLAUSE

-Well, we've finished the individual rounds

and it's now time for our team to try to beat The Brain

one last time, and take home a possible £3,000 in today's final.

APPLAUSE

Well, Streets Ahead, in previous rounds you were playing for time,

now you're playing for money.

You added a total of 45 seconds to your Brain Bank.

If each of you can give two correct answers within that time then

you'll share our jackpot today of £3,000.

Now, if those 45 second run out, don't worry because The Brain has

given you an extra two minutes to get those eight correct answers.

However, as the time counts down, so does the money.

And if the clock reaches zero, you win nothing.

Well, Tony, as captain, you've chosen the order

in which your team are going to play.

Any logic in that or is it just pot luck?

Well, I thought we'd put a young brain first.

Young-ish.

-Young-ish, yeah.

-He did well.

-He did do well.

Even I've done strangely well, so I thought I'd go second

and then it was sort of the rest really. Just see how they get on.

OK, well, now it's time to get serious. Let's play today's final.

Over to you, Brain.

You'll only face questions from the games you've already seen today.

For every question in the final, I will only accept your first answer.

Streets Ahead, beat me if you can.

That's the big question -

can you beat The Brain?

As usual, we'll start with the player on the left - that's you, Marvin.

And once you've had two correct answers,

we will move from you to Tony and down the line.

So, good luck to everybody.

Let's start the game.

Marvin, what time is it?

That is 7:20.

Incorrect.

Make A Word.

Tractor.

Tractor, that's correct.

Out With A Bang.

Blue, yellow, purple.

Yep, that's correct. On to Tony.

Pick up the sticks in order.

Green, yellow, blue,

red, black, white.

Correct.

What was that number plate?

Number four.

Correct.

John O, onto you. Quickly.

Torch.

Correct.

Right, next one. Tip Of The Tongue.

What phrase is that?

Beat the bush.

Incorrect.

Beat around the bush. One more.

-Sat nav one.

-Turn right.

Turn right.

Turn left.

What direction now?

-East.

-Is correct.

John F.

Pass.

-Which order?

-Yellow, red, purple.

That's correct, yeah. One more.

Pick up some sticks.

White, green, blue,

red, black, yellow.

Stop the clock.

Well done. You've won £1,375, so congratulations.

APPLAUSE

So how do you feel about that, Brain?

Well, here's a little ode to them.

Though your brain power here and there was, let's face it, rather shabby,

you beat me, team Streets Ahead, so all hail the cabbie.

Well done, you lot.

Hail the cabbies.

Well, thank you for watching today at home.

We hope you enjoyed playing along as well.

But, for now, it's goodbye from Streets Ahead...

-ALL:

-Goodbye.

-..from The Brain...

-Goodbye.

..and from me. See you soon.

Before you go, here are the answers to the two questions

I gave you at the beginning of the show.

What's the phrase or saying?

The answer is...

And here's the second one.

What number plate do you see?

The answer is...

Did you get them right?

Join in for more challenging games next game on Beat The Brain.