Episode 30 Beat the Brain

Hello. I'm The Brain.

There are some tricky games for our team to tackle today.

Why don't you try a couple yourself?

Count the red shoes.

What veg is in the pot?

I'll give you the answers at the end of the show.

Now watch how our team does today, as they attempt to...

Beat The Brain!

APPLAUSE

Please show your appreciation for our very own

genial genius, John Craven.

HE LAUGHS

Well, thank you very much and welcome to Beat The Brain.

Now, today's four contestants will be tested on how their minds work,

rather than on their general knowledge.

They'll face tricky challenges, tantalising teasers

and perplexing problems,

all designed to allow you to play along at home as well.

So, let's welcome our majesty of the mind.

How are you feeling today, Brain?

Oh, I'm feeling brilliant, complex, intelligent,

amazing and invincible, Johnny.

Wow! In that kind of mood?

Well, we've got a team, I think,

more than willing to take you on, so let's meet them now.

-Please introduce yourselves.

-I'm Maria and I'm an actuary.

I'm Louise and I'm an English teacher.

I'm Emma, I'm a teaching assistant in a primary school.

I'm Rachel, I'm the team captain

-and I'm a maths teacher.

-APPLAUSE

Welcome, everybody. And, Rachel, as the team captain,

what name have you chosen for the team?

Well, we have the team name The Poker Mugs.

And why is that?

Well, the lovely Maria invited us all to play poker,

-and it's become a regular thing.

-So you were the poker expert, Maria?

-I was the expert, yes.

-And you other three didn't know how to play it?

-Not at all.

-So how do they do now? Are they as good as you, Maria?

Um... Yeah, they talk a lot. Too much, I think.

But, yes, they are good, they are getting better.

Well, today, you're playing for big money.

So, are you ready to take on The Brain?

-Think so.

-Ready as we'll ever be.

-Well, here's how it works.

The show's Brain is divided into six Zones -

Logic, Memory, Orientation,

Observation, Language

and Multi-tasking.

Now, The Brain will select four out of those six Zones for you to

play today, and, Rachel, as the team captain, it's up to you to

decide which of the members will be best in each of the Zones. OK?

Right, you'll face a series of questions in your Zone, with each

correct answer adding three seconds to what we call your Brain Bank.

The more time you build up,

the better your chance of beating The Brain in today's final

and walking away with our jackpot of £3,000.

So, Poker Mugs,

shall we discover which Zone you're going to be playing first?

-Yes, please.

-Right. Brain, the Zone, please.

So, Rachel, who is going to have a go at Multi-tasking?

I think it's our poker champion, Maria.

Right, Maria, come and join me.

APPLAUSE

It's all down to you that we have The Poker Mugs here today.

A little bit, yes.

My husband was to blame for teaching me poker,

-but we play a lot of card games together.

-Right, OK.

You'll play two games in this Zone.

Both games have three questions worth three seconds each,

so let's play the Multi-tasking Zone.

Brain, what's the first game?

-Hello, Maria.

-Hello, Brain.

-You play poker, yes?

-Yes.

-Show me your hand.

I love your nail varnish.

THEY CHUCKLE

What colour is that?

I think it is tropical Caribbean, or something.

-No it isn't, it is losing to The Brain.

-Oh!

JOHN LAUGHS

Here's your first game.

Count the number of times

the named object appears in the spinning wheels.

To help you out, Maria, have a trial run.

Count the suns.

-One, two, three, four.

-Mm-hm.

Five, six, seven.

Eight, nine.

-Nine...

-Nine, I think.

-I think it is nine.

-Shall we see if you are correct?

-Please.

-It is...

-Hurray!

-APPLAUSE

Well, that's a good start. But that was just a trial.

-OK, are you ready to play?

-Yes.

-Right. Off we go.

Please remember, Maria, I can only accept your first answer.

Your game starts now.

Count the cows.

Three, four, five, six.

Seven, eight.

-Eight.

-Eight cows, you are saying.

Is that correct?

-It is indeed.

-Yes!

-OK, so, are you ready for the second one?

-Yes.

-Off we go.

Count the bananas.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, ten, 11, 12,

13...

-14.

-14 bananas.

Is that right?

-Yes.

-Guys! So good!

Right, next one.

Count the broccoli.

I hate broccoli.

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten, 11,

12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17,

18, 19, 20. 20.

-20 broccolis, even though you hate them.

-I hate them.

Let's see if that's correct.

-Yes, that's amazing!

-Well done.

-APPLAUSE

These are very difficult.

A lot of people find this game particularly hard,

but not you yet, anyway. Right. Are you ready for game two?

Oh, no, I don't know. My heart's beating a bit.

THEY LAUGH

-Say yes.

-Yes.

-You're ready.

-I'm ready. I was born ready.

OK, Brain.

You were too good there, let's hope I can get you with this second game.

Tell me how many people are left on the bus, not including the driver.

To get your eye in, have a trial run.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

-Um, one.

-One left on the bus, you think.

Is that right?

Two left on the bus.

-Ready to play?

-Ready to play.

-Off we go.

Your game starts now.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight,

nine, ten, 11.

-How many are left on the bus, apart from the driver?

-I think two.

Two, you're saying.

Is that right?

-One.

-No!

-One out there.

OK. Second bus, please.

One, two, three, four...

..five...

six.

-How many are left on.

-I think three.

Three left on, you're saying, Maria. Are you right?

Yes, you are.

APPLAUSE

Yeah. And here comes the third bus.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, ten.

-Oh!

-So how many are left on that bus?

John, I think it might be seven.

Seven, you are saying. Is that correct?

-Seven!

-Yes!

APPLAUSE

So that there is a very, very good start for your team.

-Maria did well, didn't she, Brain?

-Sadly, yes.

-Yes!

You had 15 seconds in that Zone.

This means, in total, Poker Mugs have 15 seconds in their Brain Bank.

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much indeed.

If you could rejoin the rest of your poker players.

It's time to find out what our next Zone is going to be,

and who is going to take it on. So, Brain, the Zone, please.

-Language. Rachel.

-Oh!

-Who is going to be best at Language?

-Well...

-We have an English teacher.

-Yes, we think...

It will be lovely Louise.

Right, come on, then.

APPLAUSE

-So, you are an English teacher.

-I am.

And apart from teaching, have you got any other ambitions?

Well, I do have a sneaky one,

-but I'm not sure I should reveal it to you, really, John.

-What's that?

I do love Countryfile, and I would quite like to be on it one day,

but, you know, don't want to do anyone out of a job, obviously.

-You don't want my job, then?

-Not your job.

-I'll stick with what I'm doing for now.

-Jolly good.

-Ready to play Language now?

-I think so.

-OK.

Brain, please reveal the first game that Louise will be playing today.

-Hello, Louise.

-Hello, Brain.

You just want to be a presenter so you can be next to my Johnny,

-don't you?

-I don't want to take Johnny away from you, Brain.

No-one must ever take Johnny away.

Here's your first game.

Rearrange the newspaper cuttings to form a word.

To give you some practice, have a trial run.

So what word could that be?

-Made up of those three sections.

-Kestrel.

-Mmm.

-Is it kestrel?

-Kestrel, you are saying.

Is that correct?

-Yeah, the bird, kestrel. Well done. Happy about that?

-I think so, yes.

-Ready to play for real?

-Yes.

-Right, off we go.

Your game starts now.

-Window.

-Window, you're saying.

That's correct. Jolly good.

Off we go, a second one.

-Biscuit.

-Biscuit.

That was quick, yes, well done.

30 seconds left.

Betrothed.

-Betrothed! Yes.

-APPLAUSE

Well, that was incredibly quick.

-Ready for game two?

-Yes.

Brain, please can we have game two?

-You're just upsetting me now, Louise.

-Sorry, Brain.

Here's your second game.

I will give you a word. You need to spell it to me backwards.

To get you in the groove, have a trial run.

Spell annul.

L-L...

U-N-A.

-No.

-Let's have a look.

-No, no, no.

-No.

-It is two Ns. Yeah.

-L-U-N-N-A.

-Yeah.

-I'm glad that was the trial run.

-Are you ready to go?

-Yeah.

-Off we go.

Please remember, once you've said a letter, Louise,

you cannot change your mind.

Your game starts now.

Ocean.

Yes, that's correct.

-LOUISE EXHALES

-Off we go, with the next one.

Chimney.

Is that right?

Yes, well done. Yes, difficult one, that one.

-I know, I know!

-They get harder I'm sure, yes.

So, third one to come.

Squirrel.

Yes, yes. Well done, that is a really hard one.

I got that one wrong and I was trying to do it here.

And you did exceptionally well.

-This is a very good start for you, for the Poker Mugs.

-Thank you.

-Yeah.

-I'm relieved...

-Isn't it, Brain?

Absolutely, a clean sweep, Louise.

-You added 18 seconds in that Zone.

-Yes!

Which means in total, Poker Mugs have 33 seconds in their Brain Bank.

-Wow, that is great.

-Thank you.

-That is a fantastic start, Louise,

-if you go and rejoin the rest of the ladies.

-Thank you, John.

Right, let's find out what Zone is going to be next

and who is going to take it on. So, Brain, a Zone, please.

-It's Memory.

-Oh...

Who do you think will be best in the Memory Zone?

-Do you think you can take it on, Emma?

-Do you want me to?

-Oh, yeah, go on.

-OK, then.

-It's going to be you, Emma.

-OK.

Come and join me, then, in the Memory Zone.

APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

-How are you, Emma?

You must be feeling really good at the moment...

-Yes.

-..on behalf of the team.

-Yes, top of the world.

-Yes.

-And no pressure on you.

-No, no pressure!

And how do you feel about being in the Memory Zone?

-Honestly? Quite nervous!

-Do you have a good memory?

No, I have an appalling long-term memory.

I think maybe just a short-term memory is needed now.

-Let's hope so.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK. Ready?

-Yes.

Brain, please reveal the first game Emma will be playing.

-Hello, Emma.

-Hello, Brain.

I hear you once received a very special birthday present.

-What was it?

-My husband!

JOHN LAUGHS Wonderful.

Did you keep the receipt?

THEY LAUGH

Here's your first game.

-Oh.

-Ah-ha.

You'll see different ingredients being added to a pot.

You must tell me how many of each went in.

You can warm up with a trial run.

So, of those four options,

which do you think went into that cooking pot?

I'm not completely sure, but I think it's D.

D.

And you're right.

-Yes.

-Yes, well done. Yes.

-Oh...

-So, not easy.

-No.

-Are you ready to play?

No. But let's do it!

Let's do it anyway.

OK, Brain. The game, please.

Your game starts now.

So, which ingredients were in the stew?

D.

-D.

-Three peppers, one carrot...

Right, yes, good.

That's correct.

-OK.

-OK, here comes your second one.

OK...

One pepper, one onion.

Two peppers...

Two onions...

-Two peppers...

-EMMA WHISPERS

-OK.

-Right.

-I think it was three broccoli,

two onions...

I'm going to go...

Oh, I think it was three peppers.

-Up to you.

-I'm going to go for B.

You're going for B?

-Three papers, three broccoli, two onions.

-OK, right.

Is that correct?

-It is indeed.

-JOHN LAUGHS

-OK.

-Ready for the third one?

-Yes.

-Here we come.

-One broccoli, two broccoli..

-EMMA WHISPERS

One onion. Ooh!

Three, four peppers. OK!

JOHN LAUGHS

OK, I was going to say one carrot, but that's not an option.

So, four peppers...

..how many..?

-Oh, no. I've lost it now.

-Ah.

-What do you think it is?

-Four peppers, so it's A or D...

-Yes.

..and then, er...

-It is going to be a guess, then?

-..there were two carrots. I think...

-It's either one or two onions...

-Yes.

-It's up to you.

If you're saying A or D.

I'm going to go for A.

It's correct!

JOHN LAUGHS AND APPLAUSE

Yes, that was an incredibly good score.

Right, here comes game two.

Here's your second game.

Identify the winning line in this game of noughts and crosses, Louise.

Have a trial run.

So...

..which one was that?

Er...

..D.

D.

Was that correct?

-No, it was A.

-It was A!

-Yes.

Brain, we're ready for you.

Your game starts now.

Oh, dear!

THEY LAUGH

OK, this has gone horribly wrong.

I'm going to make a stab in the dark

and go for...

B.

Let's see if you're right.

-Yes.

-EMMA LAUGHS

Not a bad stab in the dark.

Do you know what? I feel I should play poker, with this luck.

I've got a feeling you're playing poker with me and the Brain.

No, I'm so not.

-Right, second game, please.

-Oh, dear.

Which one?

Mm...

It's not good to rely on Lady luck.

I'm going to have to do it again though. I'm going to go for...

C.

Let's see if you're right.

Yes!

-How lucky can you be?

-EMMA LAUGHS

I need to buy a lottery ticket.

And the last one, please.

Which line was that, do you reckon?

I'm so not looking at my team-mates,

-because they know the answer and I don't.

-Mm...

-Er...

Need an answer.

B.

Let's see if that's right.

-And it is!

-APPLAUSE

I really don't know what happened!

That is a formidable score you managed to achieve, Emma.

Somehow.

Somehow!

Didn't she do well, Brain?

Emma, you added 18 seconds in that Zone.

This means in total, Poker Mugs have 51 seconds in their Brain Bank.

That is a very good score at this stage of the game.

-Thank you.

-So, congratulations, Emma.

-APPLAUSE

-Please rejoin the team.

Rachel, our captain, that leaves you now as the final player,

so why don't you join me

and find out which of the three remaining zones you will be playing?

APPLAUSE

-Well...

-RACHEL GASPS

-What a score.

-What a team.

-Yes, fantastic.

-You must be so proud of them so far.

-I am, brilliant.

I work it out that there's Logic, Observation

-and Orientation still to come.

-Yes.

Which one don't you want of those three?

-It's Observation I can't do!

-THEY LAUGH

-Shall we find out...

-Yes.

..which Zone the Brain is going to choose for you?

Brain, the Zone, please.

-It's Orientation.

-Phew!

-So, not the one you didn't want.

-No!

-How do you think you'll be at Orientation?

-Should be OK.

I'm pretty good with directions, I use my hands a lot, that might help.

Well, we'll see what comes up.

Brain, please reveal the game that Rachel will be playing first.

-Hello, Rachel.

-Hello, Brain.

-You have beautiful blue eyes.

-Thank you, Brain.

That's enough of me being nice.

JOHN LAUGHS Here's your first game.

Tell me whether the hands are left or right.

Have a trial run.

-You said you were good with your hands.

-that's right, yes.

OK. I think the first one is a right hand,

then the second one is a left hand

and the third one is a right hand.

Right, let's see if that's right.

Right, it is indeed.

-Right, left, right. Well done.

-Thank you.

-Happy to play the game for real?

-Yes, let's go for it.

-OK.

Game, please, Brain.

You have a maximum of 45 seconds to answer three questions.

Your game starts now.

OK, so, left, left, right.

-Left, left, right. Is that correct?

-Oh! No.

Left, left, left.

-Next one.

-OK.

Left...

..right...

-..left.

-Left, right, left.

That worked, that's right. Yes. One more to go.

That's, er...

-20 seconds left.

-Got 20 seconds, I'll take my time.

That's a right,

a right and a right.

Right, right, right.

-Yes, well done.

-JOHN LAUGHS

-Well, that's game over.

-Yes.

-Not a bad performance.

-Shall we find out what game two has in store?

-Yes, please.

-Can we have the game, please, Brain?

-Here's your second game.

Which wheel matches the one on the left?

Here's a trial run to help you get a feel for the game.

Oh, that's quite confusing.

Which of those on the right matches the one on the left?

OK, so...

I think it's A.

-Mm-hm. Let's have a look.

-I haven't even looked at B, C and D.

Yes, it is indeed.

-OK, good.

-Well done.

-Ready for the game?

-OK, thank you.

-Right.

Can we have the game, please, Brain?

Your game starts now.

OK, I'm going to say A for the first one.

-A, you're going to say.

-Oh...

-No, it was D.

-Right.

-Here comes the second.

-OK, um...

-B.

-B, you think? Yes, that's correct.

One to go.

25 seconds left.

OK, so, I'm looking at a red next to a black.

Er, red, black, white, blue, yellow, green. D, I think.

-Correct.

-Good!

-Two out of three.

-That's OK.

-Pretty good, wasn't it?

I'm happy with that.

I think you Poker Mugs have done incredibly well.

-Thank you.

-Haven't they, Brain?

Absolutely.

Rachel, you added 12 seconds in that Zone.

This means, Poker Mugs,

you have finished with a grand total of...

BRAIN GASPS ..63 seconds in your Brain Bank.

-63. That is a very, very high score.

-Thank you.

-Congratulations, Rachel.

-Thank you, John.

-Please rejoin your team.

Well, we've finished the individuals Zones now

and it's time for our team to try and beat the Brain one last time

and take home some serious cash in today's final.

Poker Mugs,

you managed to build up a tremendous 63 seconds in your Brain Bank.

And this is where you put that to good use.

You need to answer eight questions correctly,

that's two questions each, before those 63 seconds run out

to take home our top prize today of £3,000.

If you can't do that, there's still a chance to win some decent cash,

because the Brain has given you an extra two minutes

to come up with the answers.

As the time runs out, so does the cash,

at the rate of £25 a second

and if it runs out completely, you'll be left with nothing.

Rachel, as team captain,

you've chosen the order in which you're going to be playing.

What's your reasoning behind that?

The strategy is Maria led us off well in the first round,

-so she should lead us off again.

-Yes.

And Emma was so strong in her Zone,

we thought we should put Emma there to support us at the end.

-And you two in the middle?

-Yes, we'll just keep the momentum going.

You all did incredibly well.

So, time to get serious.

Let's start today's final.

-Good luck.

-Good luck.

-Good luck.

Brain, over to you.

You will only face questions from the games you've already seen today,

but for every game in the final, I will only accept your first answer.

Poker Mugs,

beat me if you can.

That's the challenge.

And as always, we'll be starting with the player on the left,

that's you, Maria.

I need two correct answers from you

before I can move on to the next player and so on down the line.

-Best of luck, Poker Mugs.

-Thank you.

Let's start the final.

Left or right hands?

Left...

..Left, right.

No.

Hygiene.

MARIA WHISPERS

Correct.

-MARIA WHISPERS

-What's in the pot?

C.

-BUS BELL

-Louise.

How many on the bus?

One?

Which wheel matches the one on the left?

B.

Yes.

-Laughter.

-Rachel.

Count the apples.

Five.

Yes.

RACHEL WHISPERS

C.

Emma.

A.

Correct.

Orchid.

-APPLAUSE

-Stop the clock!

Well done!

Congratulations, Poker Mugs.

You've won £2,150.

THEY APPLAUD AND LAUGH

-So, how about that?

-Well done, thank you.

-That's better than wine and chocolates when you're playing poker, isn't it?

-It is.

Back to Thornbury with all that money, enjoy yourselves,

-have a great party.

-Thank you.

-Thank you!

Thank you very much for playing. They did well, Brain, didn't they?

Yes, you ladies almost made me look like a real mug. But,

Mr Craven loves ME, not you, so I'm the real winner.

And I love you too, Brain.

Thank you all for watching at home today,

I hope you enjoyed playing along with us. For now,

it's goodbye from Poker Mugs...

-ALL:

-Goodbye!

-From the Brain...

-Goodbye.

And from me, bye for now.

Don't go just yet.

Here are the answers to the questions I gave you at the start of the show.

Count the red shoes.

The answer is...

six.

And what about the second one?

What veg is in the pot?

The answer is...

B.

Play these and many more testing games next time on Beat The Brain.