Episode 53 Pointless


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Episode 53

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless, the show

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where the aim of the game is to find the most obscure answers possible.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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-And couple number one.

-I'm Sunil, this is Katy,

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and we're a couple from Nottingham.

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-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Colette, this is my mum Corinne,

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and we're from Lincolnshire.

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-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Sarah, this is Jackie,

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and we're friends from Carshalton.

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And, finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm David, this is Jamie, we're stepfather and stepson from London.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

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Great to have you here. We'll get to chat to each of you

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throughout the show as it goes along.

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That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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Some say he's a few crayfish scotch eggs with piccalilli short

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of a middle-class picnic... LAUGHTER

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I say he's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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-CHEERING

-Hiya. Hey, everybody.

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Good afternoon.

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-Hello, there!

-Hello!

-Lots of new faces for us.

-I know.

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We get a bit shy when there's new faces.

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Only one couple returning - that's Corinne and Colette.

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-And even they we didn't meet for too long in the last show.

-Alas, no.

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I think by and large because I think they're very bright and realised it

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was a nice jackpot last time, but they realised it might get bigger.

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I wonder if it did.

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Hmm!

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-If only someone were here to reveal all.

-I literally have no idea.

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You remember me. I remember nothing. LAUGHTER

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Anyway, thank you very much, Richard.

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Jack and Nina DIDN'T win the jackpot last time, which means we add

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another £1,000 to it, so today's jackpot starts off at...

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It's almost embarrassing now! ..£6,000.

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AUDIENCE OOHS There we are - £6,000.

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APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

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So, remember this, the pair with the highest score

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at the end of each round will be eliminated. The HIGHEST score.

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So keep your scores low. Best of luck to all four pairs.

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Our first category today is...

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History and music. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going

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to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever is going first,

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please step up to the podium.

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OK, and the question concerns...

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Famous figures in We Didn't Start The Fire.

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-Richard?

-On each board, we're going to give you seven clues to famous

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historical figures. We'll also give you their initials.

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They're united by the fact that all of them are mentioned

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in Billy Joel's song We Didn't Start The Fire.

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There'll be 14 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

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Thanks very much. OK.

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So, we are looking for the famous people described by these clues.

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And here they are. We have got...

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I'm going to read them again.

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-Sunil, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

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It's good to have you. Sunil, what do you do?

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I work for an optical company and I work in dispatch.

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OK. Dispatching new glasses and lenses?

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Yes. New glasses, glasses frames, that have got, er...

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lenses that need replacing, so re-glazing frames, yeah.

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What are your interests, Sunil?

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Music and film, mainly. Um, sport as well.

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-A big Leicester City fan.

-Very good indeed.

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-OK, now, do you remember the song We Didn't Start The Fire?

-I do.

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I can remember the rhythm of it, but I can't really remember many words.

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There's only one I think I know well from this one, um,

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playing it kind of safe.

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So the singer whose first UK hit single was All Shook Up,

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I'm going for Elvis Presley.

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Elvis Presley, says Sunil. Let's see if that's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Elvis Presley.

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He's right.

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68.

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-APPLAUSE

-Well done.

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-That could've been a lot worse, I think.

-Yeah!

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-Elvis Presley gets us off to a good start.

-It's incredible to think

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about these days with the music industry we have, but Elvis never,

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apart from a couple of gigs in Canada,

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never performed outside of the US.

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-Isn't that amazing?

-Isn't that extraordinary?

-Yeah.

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-You couldn't imagine it happening today, could you?

-No. No.

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-Thank you, Richard. Colette?

-Hello.

-Welcome back, Colette.

-Thank you!

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Great to have you here again. Now, Round One last time...

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-Yeah, it was pretty embarrassing.

-Yes, we know...

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-Exactly, we know where we want to end up this time.

-Yeah.

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Colette, remind us what you do.

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I'm an events organiser for a charity in Scotland.

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-That's right.

-Yeah.

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Colette, your interests outside that, what are they?

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I love music, Glastonbury is like my second home.

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-Um, and...

-During the week of the festival, I'm guessing?

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-Yes.

-You don't have a nice holiday cottage down there?

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-No, I wish.

-OK.

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Just where the letters are at the top of the hill.

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-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-And, um...

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I love travelling. Recently, a few years ago,

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I did a big trip round America, I did, um, 33 states in 64 days.

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-So, yeah.

-That could come in very handy on Pointless.

-We'll see.

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Anyway, Colette, one step at a time,

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how are all these famous people for you?

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I'm trying to rack my brains for the American president, but I can't

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think of it, so I'm going to go for the US folk hero as Davy Crockett?

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Davy Crockett, says Colette.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people said Davy Crockett.

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Well, Elvis scored 68.

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Davy Crockett goes down below that, to 55.

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APPLAUSE

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He was also a congressman, Davy Crockett, for Tennessee.

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-There you are. I bet he didn't wear his raccoon hat for that.

-No.

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I bet, with all those other congressmen sitting around,

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I bet he was thinking, "I feel slightly invisible," then he'd

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slip on his raccoon skin hat and they'd go, "That's Davy Crockett!"

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"I can't believe it! Davy Crockett, you a congressman?" "Yeah."

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"Anyway, let me take this off." Then they'd go, "Where's he gone?"

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LAUGHTER

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-Thanks very much, Richard. Jackie, welcome to Pointless.

-Hello!

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-Good to have you, from Carshalton!

-Yes.

-What you do up in Carshalton?

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I am a freelance virtual assistant.

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SHE LAUGHS You VIRTUALLY assist?

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-Virtually assist! I'm not really here.

-A virtual assistant?

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Basically, I do it from home, so it's all done over Skype.

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-So easy! Easily done from home.

-It's lovely.

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-So you're like a PA, but you can do it from home?

-Yeah, exactly, yeah.

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-I mean, you can run people's diaries, it's very easy.

-Exactly.

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-Yeah, yeah.

-Aw, that's nice.

-So it's fabulous.

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But I mean, do you find...?

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It could work either way. It could be nice that you're based at home.

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-Yes.

-Or, because you're at home, you could slightly resent

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when things come in that demand your attention.

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No, not at all. You've got to separate...

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I've got a separate office, so, when you go to work,

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you are still going to work, you close the office door and you work.

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-Yes.

-You have to draw those lines...

-No, very good.

-..in your head.

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-Now, Jackie, what would you like to go for on this board?

-OK, um...

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I am glad I had that thinking time, cos I knew the top one and it took

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a while to call it to mind, but I think, I hope, it's Johnnie Ray.

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-Johnnie Ray.

-Yeah.

-Poor old Johnnie Ray.

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Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

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It is right. Well, 55's our low score and you passed it.

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Look at that, Johnnie Ray. Zipping down the column

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to 15! APPLAUSE

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Good work, Jackie. Great start.

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Yeah, "Poor old Johnnie Ray sounded sad upon the radio,"

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that's the first line of Come On Eileen.

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-Thank you very much. Now, David..

-Hi.

-..welcome to Pointless.

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Good to have you here. What do you do, David?

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I used to work for many years in mobile telecoms but at the moment

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I'm convalescing following a bad motorbike accident, so I guess you could say my job is going

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to the gym, really, at the moment.

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-Will you be going back into mobile telecommunications?

-Actually, no.

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We're actually, in a couple of months,

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my wife and I are heading off to South America for a few years.

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-Oh, well, that... A few years?

-Yes.

-That's nice.

-Yeah.

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-Blimey!

-We might have to do that at some stage.

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-Yeah, for various reasons!

-LAUGHTER

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Do feel free to drop in and, you know, visit.

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Aw! Well, that's lovely.

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And how long were you in the telecommunications industry for?

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-About 20 years, I suppose.

-I see.

-So I saw it all.

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Working for a particular network or working for...?

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-Yeah, naming no names, but yes.

-OK. Were you based in the Newbury area?

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Not exactly the Newbury area, no, more the sort of, um, Slough area.

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OK, OK, right. I'm going to pretend that means something to me.

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Oh, THAT, yes.

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-Oh, yes.

-Yes.

-Oh, I've got you, different colour!

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I understand entirely.

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Er, now then...

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Talk us through that board.

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Um, I wish I knew the one which would obviously

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be the lowest score, which is the South Korean one.

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The Argentinian president was Juan Peron.

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The American president was Harry Truman.

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And the French one was Charles de Gaulle.

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Let's go...

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-..Charles de Gaulle.

-Charles de Gaulle, says David.

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Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

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42 for Charles de Gaulle.

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APPLAUSE

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Not bad.

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Yeah, not bad, David. The only French president

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named after an airport, Charles de Gaulle. 42 points.

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You know, you'd have been better going for either

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of your other answers, actually.

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Harry Truman, you were quite right, the American president,

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and he would've scored 30.

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And, even better, Juan Peron, cos he would've scored 23.

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You're quite right thinking this last answer is the one

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you should've gone for. Not that you should've gone for,

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but it's the one that's going to be the best answer.

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It's actually a pointless answer and it's Syngman Rhee.

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Very well done if you said that at home.

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A pointless answer. Included mainly, I think,

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because Rhee rhymes with an awful lot of things, so useful in a song.

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-It's just a gift, isn't it?

-Isn't it? Beautiful, yeah.

-Yeah.

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Well, we can stay talking about this, but let's "Juan Per-on".

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LAUGHTER, ALEXANDER SIGHS

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We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

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15 the best score of that pass. Very well done indeed, Jackie.

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Jackie and Sarah, I'll say right now, I think you'll be in Round Two.

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Then we go up to 42,

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where we find David and Jamie.

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And then up to 55, where we find Colette and Corinne.

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Then up to 68, Sunil and Katy.

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Not that far ahead, Katy, but far enough ahead for you to need

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to find a nice low-scoring answer, so best of luck with that.

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We'll come back down the line.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, let's put seven more clues up on the board, and here they are.

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We have got...

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Let me read them again.

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-We got there in the end, Jamie.

-We did.

-Welcome to Pointless.

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-Thank you very much.

-Good to have you here.

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-What do you do?

-I'm an analyst for a sustainability company,

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so I help companies reduce their carbon emissions and energy.

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And what are your interests, Jamie?

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Um, I play a lot of football. I enjoy music, you know, I...

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I enjoy travelling and try and keep doing environmentally useful things.

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Very good. Also, just for the next few years,

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you've got a base in South America.

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Well, exactly, I can just pop over.

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-Yeah, pop over.

-Say hello.

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I wasn't invited, but it's fine.

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LAUGHTER Well..

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Play your cards right today, you never know.

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The invitation may come. Now, Jamie, what would you like to go for?

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You're on 42. Ideally, you'd score 25 or less to be sure.

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I don't know the song, so I'm purely doing it on the clues,

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but I'm going to go for the leader

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of the Soviet Union at the end of World War II - Josef Stalin.

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Josef Stalin, says Jamie. Here is your red line.

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If you can get below this red line, you're definitely in the next round.

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Let's see how Jamie does with Josef Stalin.

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Not bad. 41.

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41. One better than your stepdad.

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83 is your total.

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I think you've probably done enough.

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Yeah, it's a good answer.

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His parents were a cobbler and a washerwoman.

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-His dad was a washerwoman?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

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And his mum was a cobbler.

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-Yeah.

-There we go. Thank you very much. Now, Sarah!

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-Hello!

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-What do you do, Sarah?

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I'm a community nurse in Croydon.

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-In Croydon?

-Yes.

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-And what are your interests, Sarah?

-Um...

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Various interests. I enjoy baking.

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Although it tends to be a little bit seasonal, as in...

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Which is your baking season?

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It often coincides with a programme on the television.

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-Ah!

-Ah!

-I tend to get all enthusiastic.

-Oh, what?

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-So it takes that to sort of get you back into the kitchen?

-Yeah.

-I see.

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-A bit of inspiration.

-I do that whenever X Factor is on.

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I think, "I've got to get out of the living room!"

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-LAUGHTER

-I'm exactly the same.

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-I'm the same.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, the same.

-Um...

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So, Sarah, there you are, you're on 15.

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I mean, an amazing score from Jackie in the first pass.

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83 is the high score. 67 or less is what you're aiming for.

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OK. Um, I know it'll be a sort of obvious one,

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but I might try the posthumous Best Actor nominations.

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-James Dean?

-James Dean, says Sarah. Let's see if it's right.

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Let's see how many of our 100 went for James Dean.

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There's your red line, nice and high.

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It's right.

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And you are through to Round Two, very well done.

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30 for James Dean. APPLAUSE

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45 is your total, the lowest total

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I can tell you right now of the round.

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Yes, he lost out to Ernest Borgnine and Yul Brynner.

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He was only in three films,

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so two of them nominated for Best Actor Oscar.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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Now, Corinne...

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Welcome back.

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Tell us what you like getting up to.

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Well, not much in the week,

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because I'm recovering from the weekend.

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Cos your heart belongs to...

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To Wigan Casino.

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-Northern Soul.

-Yes!

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This is Wigan, cos there are several sort of iconic places, aren't there?

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-Yes.

-There's the Blackpool Mecca...

-Yes.

-..and all those other places.

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-The Torch in Stoke, yeah.

-Yeah.

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And these are places you're regularly at?

0:15:480:15:50

I never went to the Torch, I have to admit that.

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-Yeah.

-I wouldn't like to, you know,

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some people do say they've been when they haven't,

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-so we'll get that out of the way.

-Tell me about it!

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The amount of people on here saying they've been to the Torch in Stoke

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when they haven't been to the Torch in Stoke!

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What they mean is they've bought a torch in Stoke.

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-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, yeah.

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Now, Corinne, you're on 55.

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-The high-scorers, over there on 83, are Jamie and David.

-Yes.

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If you can score 27 or less...

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-Yes.

-..you are through to the next round.

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-You have to score 27 or less, simple as that.

-I know.

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There's two that I definitely know the answer to

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and one that I'm thinking, shall I, shan't I?

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I'm just too scared, I just daren't do it,

0:16:260:16:28

so I'm going to go for Joe DiMaggio.

0:16:280:16:31

-The Yankee Clipper.

-Yeah.

-Joe DiMaggio says Corinne.

0:16:310:16:34

Here's your red line - get below that,

0:16:340:16:35

you're through to the next round. How many people said Joe DiMaggio?

0:16:350:16:38

It's right.

0:16:410:16:43

Look at that, very well done indeed.

0:16:450:16:47

Down you go to 16. APPLAUSE

0:16:470:16:49

Round Two here we come.

0:16:490:16:50

71 is your total.

0:16:500:16:52

Yeah, Bill Clinton once described Joe DiMaggio

0:16:540:16:56

as the very symbol of American grace, power and skill.

0:16:560:16:59

-It's a nice thing to be described as, isn't it?

-Mm-hm.

0:16:590:17:02

Thank you, Richard. Now, Katy.

0:17:020:17:05

Katy, welcome to Pointless.

0:17:050:17:06

Good to have you here. What do you do, Katy?

0:17:060:17:08

So, I am a writer and beauty blogger.

0:17:080:17:11

And where to do your writing and blogging?

0:17:110:17:13

-Well, the blogging I can guess, online.

-Yeah.

0:17:130:17:16

Yeah, so, generally, in my house or in a park.

0:17:160:17:19

Oh, I see, that's where you do it, but I mean, where does it appear?

0:17:190:17:22

Oh, right, OK! So I do a lot of open mike for my poetry.

0:17:220:17:25

-Ah!

-And I've been published in a poetry anthology.

0:17:250:17:28

-So...

-That's wonderful.

-Yeah.

-So this is sort of performance poetry?

0:17:280:17:32

-Yeah, a lot of it is, yeah.

-I see. What's the anthology that you're in?

0:17:320:17:35

It's called Black Balloon. It's a collection of dark anthologies that

0:17:350:17:38

was created by the masters students that I worked with

0:17:380:17:41

-for my Creative Writing masters.

-Oh, congratulations.

0:17:410:17:44

Now, Katy, you're on 68.

0:17:440:17:46

Our high-scorers are still Jamie and David

0:17:460:17:48

over there on the far podium on 83.

0:17:480:17:50

It means you have a low target of 14.

0:17:500:17:53

Um, so, there's two that I'm pretty sure that I know.

0:17:530:17:56

The first one's far too obvious, so I'm not going to go with that one.

0:17:580:18:01

So, instead, I'm going to go for the actress and singer

0:18:010:18:04

who starred as Jo McKenna,

0:18:040:18:05

as Doris Day?

0:18:050:18:07

Doris Day, says Katy.

0:18:070:18:08

Doris Day, now, here's your red line.

0:18:080:18:10

If you get below that, you're into Round Two.

0:18:100:18:12

How many of our 100 said Doris Day?

0:18:120:18:14

It's right.

0:18:170:18:18

-Ooh, 19!

-Oh, no!

0:18:220:18:25

You needed 14, I'm afraid.

0:18:250:18:26

Still quite good!

0:18:260:18:28

Not bad, though. That's a great score.

0:18:280:18:30

But 87, I'm afraid, is your high total.

0:18:300:18:33

Yes, a really good answer, it's unlucky.

0:18:330:18:34

It bodes well for next time, though.

0:18:340:18:36

You were right to avoid Marilyn Monroe, the top answer.

0:18:360:18:39

She's a big scorer. It would've scored you 56 points.

0:18:390:18:42

Now, the last two are astronauts

0:18:420:18:44

and they are the best answers on the board. We'll start at the bottom.

0:18:440:18:46

The first US astronaut to orbit the Earth was John Glenn,

0:18:460:18:50

and he would've scored to 16.

0:18:500:18:52

And the first American woman in space was Sally Ride.

0:18:520:18:56

And she'd have scored six, so very well done if you said that at home.

0:18:560:19:00

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

0:19:000:19:02

the pair we say goodbye to, with their high score of 87, I'm afraid,

0:19:020:19:05

Katy and Sunil, it is you. But we say that knowing they'll be back

0:19:050:19:09

next game and we'll look forward to that very much indeed.

0:19:090:19:12

But meantime, thank you for playing, Katy and Sunil.

0:19:120:19:14

APPLAUSE

0:19:140:19:15

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:19:180:19:21

So we are down to three pairs and obviously, at the end of this round,

0:19:270:19:30

we'll have to say goodbye to another pair, but well done, everyone.

0:19:300:19:33

We had some great low scores there.

0:19:330:19:36

Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:19:360:19:37

Our category for Round Two today is...

0:19:370:19:40

Football. There you go.

0:19:410:19:43

Can you all decide in your pairs

0:19:430:19:44

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

0:19:440:19:47

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:19:470:19:49

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

0:19:530:19:55

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

0:19:550:19:58

Football teams with three or four vowels in their name.

0:20:020:20:05

Yeah, we're looking for any of the 92 teams

0:20:050:20:07

in the top four flights of English football in the 2015-2016 season

0:20:070:20:10

-that have three or four vowels anywhere in their name, please?

-OK.

0:20:100:20:14

So any English league football team

0:20:140:20:16

with three or four vowels in its name. Corinne?

0:20:160:20:18

Aston Villa.

0:20:210:20:22

OK. I was smiling, because I somehow knew you're going to say that.

0:20:240:20:28

Aston Villa, says Corinne.

0:20:280:20:30

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Aston Villa.

0:20:300:20:32

APPLAUSE 37 for Aston Villa.

0:20:410:20:43

Four vowels in that and they begin with one and end with one.

0:20:460:20:48

-Oh!

-A couple of As, an I in there, an O in there.

0:20:480:20:52

They didn't have a great 2015-2016 season, but you know, the vowels,

0:20:520:20:57

-they've done very well there.

-Yeah.

0:20:570:20:59

LAUGHTER Oh, their vowel cupboard...

0:20:590:21:01

-Their vowel cupboard is bursting.

-Yeah.

-They'll be very happy.

-Yeah.

0:21:010:21:06

-There we go. Jackie.

-I don't know if this is the right name,

0:21:060:21:10

but I'm going to go for Brighton & Hove Albion.

0:21:100:21:11

Brighton & Hove Albion says Jackie.

0:21:110:21:13

Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:21:130:21:16

It's right. Well, 37 is our only score at this point.

0:21:190:21:22

And you pass it.

0:21:230:21:24

Oh, you pass it, look at that! Two for Brighton & Hove Albion.

0:21:250:21:28

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:280:21:30

There we are.

0:21:300:21:31

Good work, Jackie. They've got a lot of vowels, seven vowels.

0:21:320:21:35

They have eight, if you include the A in "and",

0:21:350:21:37

which I don't, cos it's an ampersand.

0:21:370:21:39

-If you do, then it's eight.

-LAUGHTER

0:21:390:21:41

-But we can argue about that another time.

-I'm not even going to argue.

0:21:410:21:44

Can you imagine? That's the sort of thing

0:21:440:21:46

we'd have to see the director-general about. He'd say,

0:21:460:21:48

"Why are you accepting be A in the ampersand of Brighton & Hove Albion?

0:21:480:21:51

"I wonder if we might have a little chat about it in my club?"

0:21:510:21:54

-Oh, we'd have to go up to his club.

-We would have to go up to his club.

0:21:540:21:56

His club is on the top of New Broadcasting House, isn't it?

0:21:560:21:59

I said Nude Broadcasting House, I meant New Broadcasting House.

0:21:590:22:02

LAUGHTER Nude Broadcasting House is...

0:22:020:22:04

Yes, that's very, very different.

0:22:040:22:06

LAUGHTER CONTINUES Er, Jamie...

0:22:060:22:08

um, what would you like to go for?

0:22:080:22:10

Um, I'm going to go for a team, which definitely has enough vowels,

0:22:100:22:13

it's just whether they're still in the league structure,

0:22:130:22:16

and I'm going to go for Dagenham & Redbridge.

0:22:160:22:18

Oh, listen to that. You see what you've earned yourself there, Jamie?

0:22:180:22:21

You've earned yourself a buzz.

0:22:210:22:23

Dagenham & Redbridge.

0:22:240:22:25

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:22:250:22:28

It is right.

0:22:300:22:32

Well, our Brighton & Hove Albion took us all the way down to two,

0:22:320:22:35

Dagenham and Redbridge...

0:22:350:22:37

It's pointless! CHEERING

0:22:370:22:39

Very well done indeed. That's a pointless answer.

0:22:390:22:42

It adds £250 to today's jackpot that takes the total up to £6,250.

0:22:420:22:47

It scores you nothing and earns you the colossal respect of Mr Osman.

0:22:470:22:51

A very good answer. Well played. I would've thought it would

0:22:510:22:53

earn you an invitation to South America as well,

0:22:530:22:55

-but we'll see. That's not in my gift.

-Yeah.

-They've got six vowels

0:22:550:22:58

and, again, seven if you include the A in the and,

0:22:580:23:01

and I think we probably should.

0:23:010:23:03

-Let's say seven.

-Yeah, OK.

0:23:030:23:05

Well, there we are. Thank you very much indeed.

0:23:050:23:08

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

0:23:080:23:11

Nothing was the best score of that pass. Very well done indeed, Jamie.

0:23:110:23:14

I think Jamie and David will probably be

0:23:140:23:16

in the head-to-head, as I think will Jackie and Sarah.

0:23:160:23:18

But by that process, I'm afraid, Corinne and Colette,

0:23:180:23:21

-that would mean you wouldn't be in it.

-It would.

0:23:210:23:24

And I don't like that scenario one bit.

0:23:240:23:26

Colette, please do what you have to do to keep yourselves in the game.

0:23:260:23:29

-I'll try.

-We'll come back down the line now.

0:23:290:23:31

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:23:310:23:33

OK, so David, remember, we're looking for any

0:23:370:23:39

English league football team with three or more vowels to its name.

0:23:390:23:43

I think I'll go for one in the same neck of the woods

0:23:440:23:47

as Dagenham & Redbridge, keeping it local, and go for Leyton Orient.

0:23:470:23:51

Leyton Orient says David.

0:23:510:23:52

Well, you want to score 36 or less with this, ideally.

0:23:520:23:56

There is your red line - get below that with Leyton Orient

0:23:560:23:59

and you are through to the next round.

0:23:590:24:01

Well done. Head-to-head it is.

0:24:080:24:11

Oh, and it's five!

0:24:110:24:12

Not bad.

0:24:130:24:14

Five for Leyton Orient.

0:24:150:24:17

Yes, they're even known as The Os, Leyton Orient,

0:24:170:24:20

so perfect answer for this round.

0:24:200:24:22

Thanks very much, Richard.

0:24:220:24:23

Now, Sarah...

0:24:230:24:25

Sarah, again, the high score is 37, so 34 or less.

0:24:250:24:30

Can't think of anyone particularly obscure, so I'm going to go with...

0:24:310:24:35

Wolverhampton Wanderers.

0:24:350:24:38

Wolverhampton Wanderers, says Sarah.

0:24:380:24:40

Here's your red line.

0:24:400:24:41

Get below that, you're through.

0:24:410:24:43

How many people went for Wolves?

0:24:430:24:45

You've done it.

0:24:520:24:54

Oh!

0:24:540:24:55

One! For Wolverhampton Wanderers.

0:24:550:24:57

Very well done indeed.

0:24:570:24:59

Taking your total up to three, the lowest total of the round.

0:24:590:25:02

Yeah, seven vowels there,

0:25:020:25:04

I can't believe Wolves got beaten 5-1 by Leyton Orient.

0:25:040:25:06

LAUGHTER

0:25:060:25:08

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:25:080:25:10

-Um, Colette, I'm sorry.

-Yeah, me too.

-I'm sorry.

0:25:100:25:14

Yes, you are out in front

0:25:140:25:17

even before your answer, however,

0:25:170:25:18

-let's hear what you've got.

-I don't even know if these are

0:25:180:25:21

still in the League, but I'm going to go Doncaster Rovers.

0:25:210:25:24

-Doncaster Rovers says Colette.

-Yeah.

0:25:240:25:26

No red line for you, I'm afraid, as you're the high-scorers already.

0:25:260:25:28

But let's see how many of our 100 people said Doncaster Rovers.

0:25:280:25:31

It's right.

0:25:340:25:35

It's a great answer. Very well done indeed!

0:25:410:25:43

Three is what you scored there, taking your total

0:25:430:25:46

up to 40. APPLAUSE

0:25:460:25:48

Yeah, very well played. There's lots of pointless answers here, actually.

0:25:480:25:51

Let's take a look at a few of them.

0:25:510:25:53

All of these would've added a bit of money to the jackpot.

0:25:530:25:55

Chesterfield, there's Dagenham & Redbridge, well played. Gillingham.

0:25:550:25:59

Some big teams here, actually. Ipswich Town, a pointless answer.

0:25:590:26:02

Shrewsbury Town, Southend United.

0:26:020:26:04

Stoke City, a Premiership team.

0:26:060:26:08

Swindon Town, Wycombe Wanderers. Also could've had Cambridge United,

0:26:080:26:11

Crawley Town, Exeter City, Fleetwood Town, Mansfield Town,

0:26:110:26:14

Morecambe, Peterborough United, Rochdale and Stevenage.

0:26:140:26:16

Those were all pointless answers. We'll take a look at the top three.

0:26:160:26:19

The ones that most of our 100 people said online...

0:26:190:26:21

..and, as always, Manchester United up there on 69.

0:26:260:26:30

Thanks very indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

0:26:300:26:32

the pair we have to say goodbye to, with their high score of 40,

0:26:320:26:35

-I'm so sorry, Colette and Corinne, it is you.

-Never mind.

0:26:350:26:38

I am so sorry. Far too soon to be sending new home.

0:26:380:26:40

-I had high hopes of you going through...

-So did we!

-Yeah!

0:26:400:26:43

But it's been wonderful having you on.

0:26:430:26:45

Thank you so much for coming to play, Colette and Corinne.

0:26:450:26:48

APPLAUSE

0:26:480:26:49

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

0:26:510:26:54

Well, congratulations, Jackie and Sarah, David and Jamie.

0:26:590:27:02

You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

0:27:020:27:05

for that jackpot, which currently stands at £6,250.

0:27:050:27:09

AUDIENCE OOHS

0:27:090:27:11

Well, you've made it as far as the head-to-head,

0:27:130:27:15

which means you're now allowed to confer

0:27:150:27:16

and the first pair in this round to win two questions

0:27:160:27:18

will be going through to the final to play for that jackpot.

0:27:180:27:21

Well done, I have to say. We've had... I mean, from one team,

0:27:210:27:23

we've had our only pointless answer and, from Jackie and Sarah

0:27:230:27:26

in that last round, just three points between you,

0:27:260:27:28

I mean, amazing low scores there.

0:27:280:27:30

This is going to be incredibly hard-fought.

0:27:300:27:32

Very best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

0:27:320:27:35

APPLAUSE

0:27:350:27:37

Here is your first question, And it concerns...

0:27:410:27:44

-Richard.

-Yes, we're going to show you five cathedrals now.

0:27:470:27:49

You need to tell us what cities they're in, please. We'll give you

0:27:490:27:52

-the first and last letters of each of those cities.

-Thanks very much.

0:27:520:27:54

Let's reveal our five cathedrals and here they come.

0:27:540:27:58

There we are.

0:28:230:28:25

Five cathedral cities.

0:28:250:28:26

Jackie and Sarah, you are our low scorers, so you will go first.

0:28:260:28:30

THEY CHATTER QUIETLY

0:28:300:28:33

Well... The only one we're certain of is E, so that's the one

0:28:330:28:37

we're going to go for, which I hope, hope is Salisbury.

0:28:370:28:40

Salisbury, say Jackie and Sarah, for E. Salisbury.

0:28:400:28:43

Now, then, David and Jamie?

0:28:430:28:45

Um...we think A is Coventry.

0:28:450:28:50

We think B is Gloucester.

0:28:500:28:51

D is Chester.

0:28:510:28:54

C is... Looks like it should be the easiest, but we just can't make any

0:28:540:28:58

sense of that at all. I know that, I'm pretty certain it's Coventry.

0:28:580:29:02

-Sure. Let's say Coventry, yeah.

-Coventry, A.

0:29:020:29:04

OK, you're going to go for Coventry for A.

0:29:040:29:06

So we have Salisbury and we have Coventry.

0:29:060:29:08

Jackie and Sarah went for Salisbury, let's see if that's right.

0:29:080:29:10

Let's see how many people said Salisbury.

0:29:100:29:12

There we are, absolutely right.

0:29:150:29:17

38.

0:29:200:29:21

APPLAUSE

0:29:210:29:22

38 for Salisbury.

0:29:230:29:25

David and Jamie, meanwhile, have gone for A and said Coventry.

0:29:250:29:30

Let's see if that's right.

0:29:300:29:31

How many of our 100 people said Coventry for A?

0:29:310:29:33

It is Coventry.

0:29:370:29:38

Ooh, 50.

0:29:410:29:42

APPLAUSE

0:29:420:29:44

Which means well done, Jackie and Sarah.

0:29:440:29:46

After one question, you're up 1-0.

0:29:460:29:48

Yeah, voted Britain's favourite 20th-century building,

0:29:480:29:50

Coventry Cathedral, that's the old cathedral next to the new one.

0:29:500:29:54

Um, you should've gone with Jamie, really, because B is Gloucester

0:29:540:29:57

and it would've won you the point as well, would've got you 23.

0:29:570:30:00

Er, D, you also knew.

0:30:000:30:03

Chester, that would've won the point as well, would've been 30.

0:30:030:30:06

And the best answer on the board, er, in Northern Ireland...

0:30:060:30:09

-Newry?

-Newry, yep. That would've scored you eight points.

0:30:090:30:13

Very well done if you said that at home.

0:30:130:30:15

Thank you very much indeed. Well, here comes your second question.

0:30:150:30:18

David and Jamie, you have to win this one,

0:30:180:30:20

but you get to answer it first, so there you are. Good luck with that.

0:30:200:30:24

It concerns...

0:30:240:30:27

-Richard?

-Yeah, we're going to show you

0:30:280:30:30

the names of five gases now, but in anagram form.

0:30:300:30:32

Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure gas?

0:30:320:30:35

OK, thank you very much.

0:30:350:30:36

So let's reveal our five shaken-up gases and here they are. We have...

0:30:360:30:41

David and Jamie will go first.

0:30:520:30:54

THEY WHISPER

0:30:540:30:56

Er, we'll go for the top one, which is krypton.

0:31:040:31:08

Krypton. Krypton say David and Jamie.

0:31:080:31:11

Jackie and Sarah?

0:31:110:31:14

-What are you going to go for?

-Well, the second one's radon,

0:31:140:31:17

the third one's argon,

0:31:170:31:19

the fourth one's helium,

0:31:190:31:21

and I think the fifth one's neon.

0:31:210:31:23

-So...do you think radon?

-Yeah, yeah

-We'll go radon.

0:31:230:31:27

OK, you're going to go for radon. So we have krypton and radon.

0:31:270:31:30

David and Jamie said krypton.

0:31:300:31:31

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:31:310:31:33

It's right.

0:31:360:31:37

Not bad.

0:31:410:31:42

APPLAUSE

0:31:420:31:43

Not bad. 44.

0:31:430:31:45

Jackie and Sarah, meanwhile, have gone for radon.

0:31:460:31:48

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

0:31:480:31:50

Ooh, 66 for radon.

0:31:560:31:58

Well done, David and Jamie, that's what you needed to do.

0:32:000:32:02

You're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

0:32:020:32:04

This time round, you chose perfectly,

0:32:040:32:06

cos it's the best answer on the board, krypton.

0:32:060:32:08

Groan is argon, of course -

0:32:080:32:10

would've scored you 60.

0:32:100:32:11

Uh Lime is helium and would've scored you 58.

0:32:110:32:15

And neon would've scored you 85 points.

0:32:150:32:19

Thank you very much indeed. It all comes down to this, third question.

0:32:190:32:22

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

0:32:220:32:24

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck to both players.

0:32:240:32:26

Our third question is all about Russell Brand.

0:32:260:32:30

-Richard.

-Yeah. Talking of gases!

0:32:320:32:34

-LAUGHTER

-We are now...

0:32:340:32:36

That's a mean thing to say, he's a very nice fella.

0:32:360:32:38

We're going to give you five clues now to facts about Russell Brand.

0:32:380:32:41

Whichever team gives us the most obscure answer is

0:32:410:32:43

going through to play for that £6,250 jackpot.

0:32:430:32:46

-Good luck.

-OK, let's reveal our five clues and here they come.

0:32:460:32:49

We have got...

0:32:510:32:52

I'll read those again.

0:33:070:33:08

There we are. Jackie and Sarah, you will go first.

0:33:240:33:27

THEY WHISPER

0:33:270:33:29

We're going to go with the TV police drama and The Bill.

0:33:310:33:35

The Bill, say Jackie and Sarah.

0:33:350:33:36

Now, David and Jamie, talk us through that board.

0:33:360:33:41

Katie Perry at the top.

0:33:410:33:43

Newsnight.

0:33:430:33:45

Yeah, I'm not ashamed to say I think I read the memoir.

0:33:450:33:48

It's called Booky Wook, I think.

0:33:480:33:50

And for the county,

0:33:500:33:52

maybe Hertfordshire or something like that?

0:33:520:33:54

But I'm going to gamble and probably

0:33:540:33:56

go with the title of his memoir, which I think is Booky Wook.

0:33:560:34:00

-Booky Wook?

-Yes.

0:34:000:34:02

Booky Wook, so we have The Bill and we've Booky Wook.

0:34:020:34:05

Jackie and Sarah have gone for The Bill, for the police drama.

0:34:050:34:08

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:34:080:34:11

28.

0:34:190:34:20

APPLAUSE

0:34:200:34:21

David and Jamie are going for Booky Wook.

0:34:240:34:27

Let's see if that's right for the memoir.

0:34:270:34:29

Ooh!

0:34:320:34:33

-Gosh!

-I'm afraid not Booky Wook.

0:34:330:34:37

That means, after three questions, Jackie and Sarah,

0:34:370:34:39

you are through to the final 2-1.

0:34:390:34:41

Yeah, unlucky, gents. I couldn't give it to you, it's My Booky Wook

0:34:410:34:44

and, it's such a well-known book, I need the full title,

0:34:440:34:46

-it would be unfair to Jackie and Sarah.

-It's an autobiography.

0:34:460:34:48

If it was a biography, it would be Booky Wook.

0:34:480:34:50

-It's an autobiography, so it's...

-My Booky Wook, exactly.

-Yeah.

0:34:500:34:53

So that's really unlucky. It bodes well for next time, though,

0:34:530:34:56

I have to say. The firework singer he married was Katie Perry.

0:34:560:35:00

It would've scored you 57 points.

0:35:000:35:02

It is Newsnight as well.

0:35:020:35:04

That would've scored you 33.

0:35:050:35:07

And the English county, it's my home county as well, Essex.

0:35:070:35:11

-Essex.

-Yeah, and that would've scored you 30.

0:35:110:35:14

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:35:140:35:16

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:160:35:19

I'm afraid it's David and Jamie.

0:35:190:35:20

You played incredibly well throughout the show.

0:35:200:35:23

As Richard says, that bodes incredibly well for the next time.

0:35:230:35:26

We look forward to seeing you then, but in the meantime, thank you very much, David and Jamie.

0:35:260:35:30

APPLAUSE

0:35:300:35:31

But for Jackie and Sarah, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:330:35:35

Congratulations, Jackie and Sarah,

0:35:400:35:42

you've fought off all the competition

0:35:420:35:44

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

0:35:440:35:47

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:35:540:35:56

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £6,250.

0:35:560:36:02

AUDIENCE OOHS

0:36:020:36:03

I mean, amazing!

0:36:070:36:08

-You've done so well.

-Thank you.

0:36:080:36:10

So, that second round, the football round, just astonishing!

0:36:100:36:12

Lovely low scores there.

0:36:120:36:14

And yes, 2-1 in the head-to-head.

0:36:140:36:16

Well, as always, you get to choose your category

0:36:160:36:18

from the four we put up on the board.

0:36:180:36:20

Today's selection looks like this. We've got...

0:36:200:36:22

-Um, don't know a lot about Russia.

-US crime writers.

-Don't know...

0:36:300:36:33

Shall we just go for purple things?

0:36:330:36:35

It's a big subject, isn't it?

0:36:350:36:36

-It could be anything.

-OK.

-Let's go for purple things.

-Purple things!

0:36:360:36:40

-Purple things.

-I quite like purple.

-Richard?

-OK, best of luck.

0:36:400:36:43

We're looking for any of the three very different things, please.

0:36:430:36:47

We're looking for any station

0:36:470:36:48

on London Underground's Metropolitan Line, please.

0:36:480:36:51

We are looking for any actor credited

0:36:510:36:53

with appearing in the film The Color Purple, according to IMDB.

0:36:530:36:57

Or we're looking for any act who's had a UK top 40 single or album

0:36:570:37:00

with purple in its title, please, up to the end of December 2015.

0:37:000:37:04

So Metropolitan Line stations,

0:37:040:37:06

actors in The Color Purple

0:37:060:37:07

and acts with UK top 40 singles or albums with purple in the title.

0:37:070:37:11

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

0:37:110:37:13

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute come up with three answers

0:37:130:37:16

and all you need to win that jackpot

0:37:160:37:18

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

0:37:180:37:21

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-OK! Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

0:37:210:37:23

There they are. Your time starts now!

0:37:230:37:25

-Metropolitan Line, do you know?

-Not a clue, not a single one.

-No?

0:37:250:37:28

-Actors in The Color Purple?

-Um... I think...

0:37:280:37:32

Is it Whoopi Goldberg or...?

0:37:320:37:34

Oprah Winfrey? Was Oprah Winfrey in it?

0:37:340:37:37

That sounds good, I can't think of any at all.

0:37:370:37:39

-The only ones I an think of...

-It's possible, anyway.

0:37:390:37:41

Acts with a top 40 single with the colour purple...

0:37:410:37:44

-Well, Prince is the obvious one.

-That's too obvious, isn't it?

0:37:440:37:47

Purple...

0:37:470:37:48

Oh, gosh!

0:37:500:37:52

Purple, purple, purple...

0:37:520:37:54

Was there not a Cyndi Lauper song with purple in?

0:37:540:37:56

-Or was that just rainbow?

-Was there?

-I think that was rainbow.

0:37:560:38:00

Unless she sang all the colours.

0:38:000:38:01

Oh, it is! Oh, no...

0:38:010:38:03

I was going to say Joseph and his Technicolor Dreamcoat,

0:38:030:38:05

-but he didn't actually sing...

-And was it a top 40 single?

0:38:050:38:08

-Colours? Probably not, no.

-No.

-Um...

0:38:080:38:12

Oh, time! We've got...

0:38:120:38:14

-Ten seconds left.

-Whoopi Goldberg.

-Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey...

0:38:140:38:17

-We'll have to go Prince! We can't think of anything else.

-We are!

0:38:190:38:22

That was a bit rubbish, wasn't it?

0:38:220:38:24

Oh, I'm sorry, that's your minute up!

0:38:240:38:27

-THEY LAUGH That was tough!

-That was.

-It was!

0:38:270:38:31

-That was.

-Yeah.

0:38:310:38:32

What are your three answers going to be?

0:38:320:38:34

Well, the actors in The Color Purple.

0:38:340:38:37

-We're going to go for Whoopi Goldberg...

-Whoopi Goldberg.

0:38:370:38:40

-..and Oprah Winfrey?

-Oprah Winfrey.

0:38:400:38:42

-And...

-The only one we can think of, top 40 singles,

0:38:420:38:46

is Prince and Purple Rain.

0:38:460:38:48

OK. You are going to go for Prince?

0:38:480:38:51

-Yeah.

-Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:510:38:54

-Oprah Winfrey?

-Yeah.

-Oprah Winfrey, let's put her last.

0:38:540:38:57

-Least likely answer to be pointless?

-Prince.

-Prince, we'll put first.

0:38:570:39:00

OK, well, let's pop those answers upon the board in that order, then,

0:39:000:39:03

and here they are. We've got...

0:39:030:39:05

Well, very, very best of luck.

0:39:090:39:11

Now, one of these might turn out to be pointless.

0:39:110:39:13

If that were to happen and you were to go away with £6,250,

0:39:130:39:16

what would you like to do with it, Jackie?

0:39:160:39:18

-It's my birthday in a couple of weeks, so...

-Happy birthday.

0:39:180:39:21

..I think that'd be a vodka luge and a chocolate fountain right there.

0:39:210:39:25

LAUGHTER

0:39:250:39:26

There we go. Sarah?

0:39:260:39:28

I think it would definitely be a holiday somewhere nice and hot

0:39:280:39:31

and warm and tropical, yeah.

0:39:310:39:33

-Wonderful.

-Definitely.

-Well, very, very best of luck.

0:39:330:39:36

Let us find out. Your first answer was Prince.

0:39:360:39:38

In this case, we were looking for acts

0:39:380:39:40

that've had UK top 40 singles with the word purple in them.

0:39:400:39:42

Singles or albums. You've gone for Prince.

0:39:420:39:45

If it is pointless, it will win you £6,250.

0:39:450:39:48

Let's find out how many people said Prince.

0:39:480:39:50

It's right.

0:39:540:39:55

Still going down. Now, if this goes down to zero, obviously,

0:39:560:39:59

you will leave with £6,250.

0:39:590:40:01

And Prince stops at 40.

0:40:010:40:02

So, unfortunately not a pointless answer,

0:40:070:40:09

which means everything is now riding on the final two answers,

0:40:090:40:12

Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah Winfrey.

0:40:120:40:14

Whoopi Goldberg we will take next. In this case,

0:40:140:40:16

we are looking for actors in the film The Color Purple.

0:40:160:40:20

For you to win that jackpot of £6,250, this has to be pointless.

0:40:200:40:24

Let's see many people said Whoopi Goldberg.

0:40:240:40:26

It's right.

0:40:300:40:32

Your first answer, Prince took us all the way down to 40.

0:40:320:40:36

Whoopi Goldberg...

0:40:360:40:37

Ooh, 45!

0:40:370:40:39

45 for Whoopi Goldberg.

0:40:390:40:41

OK, not a pointless answer either, which means everything is now riding

0:40:430:40:46

on your third and final answer, which is Oprah Winfrey.

0:40:460:40:49

For you to win the £6,250 jackpot, this has to be pointless,

0:40:490:40:53

so let's find out how many people said Oprah Winfrey and, again,

0:40:530:40:56

we are looking for actors from the cast of The Color Purple.

0:40:560:41:00

It's right. Well, our scores so far have been 40 for Prince,

0:41:040:41:08

45 for Whoopi Goldberg. Oprah Winfrey passes both of those.

0:41:080:41:12

Down she goes, through the 20s, into the teens.

0:41:120:41:14

17!

0:41:140:41:15

Well, very well done, three correct answers there,

0:41:190:41:21

but I'm sorry to say you didn't manage to find that all-important

0:41:210:41:24

pointless answer. So we can't give you today's jackpot of £6,250.

0:41:240:41:28

That will roll over onto the next show.

0:41:280:41:30

But a very strong performance, right across the show,

0:41:300:41:33

plenty to be proud of there, and you get to take home

0:41:330:41:36

-a Pointless trophy, so very well done.

-Which is what we came for!

0:41:360:41:40

Yeah, great show today. Let's take a look at the pointless answers

0:41:440:41:46

that would've seen you walking away with that jackpot.

0:41:460:41:49

The Metropolitan Line,

0:41:490:41:51

you could've had Finchley Road, Moorgate, Pinner, Watford.

0:41:510:41:54

The Pointless express also stops at Chalfont and Latimer,

0:41:540:41:56

Chesham, Chorleywood, Oxley, Great Portland Street, Ickenham, Moorpark,

0:41:560:41:59

change at North Harrow for Northwick Park, Northwood, Northwood Hills...

0:41:590:42:03

-LAUGHTER

-..Preston Road, Rickmansworth,

0:42:030:42:05

Ruislip Manor and West Harrow.

0:42:050:42:06

Very well done if you got any of those. Actors in The Color Purple.

0:42:060:42:09

Everybody in The Color Purple was a pointless answer,

0:42:090:42:12

apart from the two you mentioned and Danny Glover.

0:42:120:42:14

Laurence Fishburne is there, for example.

0:42:140:42:16

He's probably the most famous of the pointless answers up there.

0:42:160:42:19

And acts with UK top 40 singles and albums, it's another tough one,

0:42:190:42:23

actually. D12, Jackie Dennis, who had a hit with Purple People Eater,

0:42:230:42:26

as did Sheb Wooley, who was also a pointless answer.

0:42:260:42:29

Rod Stewart and the Scotland Euro 96 squad

0:42:290:42:31

and Whitesnake, The Purple Album. You could also have Groove Armada.

0:42:310:42:34

In fact, the only ones that scored points were Prince,

0:42:340:42:37

Deep Purple, perhaps understandably,

0:42:370:42:39

Jimi Hendrix Experience and Donny and Marie Osmond.

0:42:390:42:41

Everyone else a pointless answer,

0:42:410:42:43

so very well done if you got any of those at home.

0:42:430:42:45

Thanks very much indeed.

0:42:450:42:47

And thank you to Jackie and Sarah, who very sadly didn't win

0:42:470:42:49

our jackpot today, which means it rolls over onto the next show,

0:42:490:42:52

when we will be playing for £7,250.

0:42:520:42:56

AUDIENCE OOHS

0:42:560:42:58

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

0:42:580:43:00

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:000:43:02

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

0:43:020:43:04

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.